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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:06,223 --> 00:00:07,094 Who are you? 2 00:00:07,137 --> 00:00:08,225 We are ghosts. 3 00:00:08,269 --> 00:00:09,618 While most spirits pass on 4 00:00:09,661 --> 00:00:12,273 to the afterlife, we are cursed to spend eternity... 5 00:00:12,316 --> 00:00:14,101 Oh, and she's gone. 6 00:00:14,144 --> 00:00:15,754 Now what's gonna happen to the house? 7 00:00:15,798 --> 00:00:16,842 This is huge. 8 00:00:16,886 --> 00:00:18,583 And it's all ours! 9 00:00:18,627 --> 00:00:19,671 This must be them, 10 00:00:19,715 --> 00:00:21,064 the new folks that own the house. 11 00:00:21,108 --> 00:00:22,457 W-Watch out! 12 00:00:24,502 --> 00:00:26,113 Oh. Oh! 13 00:00:27,201 --> 00:00:28,985 Oh, my God. Sam. Sam! 14 00:00:29,029 --> 00:00:31,248 Seems as if your accident left you so close to death 15 00:00:31,292 --> 00:00:33,294 that you somehow gained the ability 16 00:00:33,337 --> 00:00:34,947 to actually see dead people. 17 00:00:34,991 --> 00:00:36,427 They're here. They're all behind you. 18 00:00:36,471 --> 00:00:37,428 Hello! 19 00:00:37,472 --> 00:00:39,561 I don't see anybody. 20 00:00:39,604 --> 00:00:41,084 There's a bunch of zombies down here! 21 00:00:41,128 --> 00:00:43,434 Zombies? Zombies aren't real. 22 00:00:43,478 --> 00:00:44,392 We're ghosts. 23 00:00:44,435 --> 00:00:45,480 Okay, fine. 24 00:00:45,523 --> 00:00:46,785 I see all of you. 25 00:00:46,829 --> 00:00:48,483 I admit your existence. Happy? 26 00:00:48,526 --> 00:00:49,527 What? 27 00:00:50,572 --> 00:00:52,139 You're not even listening to me. 28 00:00:52,182 --> 00:00:53,662 Babe, you're not listening tome. 29 00:00:54,880 --> 00:00:57,057 The Livings, they are fighting. 30 00:00:57,100 --> 00:00:58,362 Ooh, nothing better than watching 31 00:00:58,406 --> 00:00:59,755 a good husband-wife argument. 32 00:00:59,798 --> 00:01:00,756 What's the beef? 33 00:01:00,799 --> 00:01:02,105 He wants to fix the roof, 34 00:01:02,149 --> 00:01:04,325 and she wants to fix the fountain. Ah. 35 00:01:04,368 --> 00:01:06,370 Home renovation-- a classic of the genre. 36 00:01:06,414 --> 00:01:07,415 Shall we go... 37 00:01:07,458 --> 00:01:08,633 spectate? 38 00:01:08,677 --> 00:01:10,505 I mean, we're literally watching paint dry. 39 00:01:10,548 --> 00:01:13,682 These new glosses are fantastic. But, yeah, 40 00:01:13,725 --> 00:01:14,770 fight's probably more interesting. 41 00:01:18,600 --> 00:01:21,081 So, imagine-- you're a guest driving up to our B&B 42 00:01:21,124 --> 00:01:23,692 and the first thing you see is this giant gleaming fountain. 43 00:01:23,735 --> 00:01:27,174 Look, babe, nobody loves a fancy fountain more than I do, but... 44 00:01:27,217 --> 00:01:28,566 He's gonna pivot back to the roof. 45 00:01:28,610 --> 00:01:31,265 I think we need to focus on the bigger picture. 46 00:01:32,179 --> 00:01:33,223 Which is the roof. 47 00:01:33,267 --> 00:01:34,529 Ha-ha! Ding, ding! Oh! You nailed that! 48 00:01:34,572 --> 00:01:35,921 Please be quiet! 49 00:01:35,965 --> 00:01:38,707 Excuse me, am I not allowed to have an opinion? 50 00:01:38,750 --> 00:01:40,230 I was talking to the ghosts. 51 00:01:40,274 --> 00:01:41,797 Right. Because ghosts are a real thing 52 00:01:41,840 --> 00:01:43,190 and my wife talks to them now. 53 00:01:43,233 --> 00:01:44,887 Wait, are they in here? 54 00:01:44,930 --> 00:01:45,888 Yes, they are. 55 00:01:45,931 --> 00:01:47,368 And they are very annoying. 56 00:01:47,411 --> 00:01:48,499 Well, that's uncalled for. She's not wrong. 57 00:01:48,543 --> 00:01:50,110 That's a little harsh.Look, 58 00:01:50,153 --> 00:01:51,850 I didn't want to bring this up, but... 59 00:01:51,894 --> 00:01:54,157 I did give in on moving here for you. 60 00:01:54,201 --> 00:01:55,767 Somebody's playing card of guilt. 61 00:01:55,811 --> 00:01:56,768 Mm. I gave up my job. 62 00:01:56,812 --> 00:01:58,683 I gave up my friends. 63 00:01:58,727 --> 00:02:01,208 I know, and I appreciate you. 64 00:02:01,251 --> 00:02:04,385 But... we're gonna have to fix the fountain eventually. 65 00:02:04,428 --> 00:02:05,734 And, just so you know, 66 00:02:05,777 --> 00:02:06,996 the ghosts agree with me. 67 00:02:07,039 --> 00:02:08,998 She making things up! 68 00:02:09,041 --> 00:02:10,608 Ruthless. So hot. 69 00:02:10,652 --> 00:02:12,871 So, shall I talk to the contractor? 70 00:02:12,915 --> 00:02:14,830 Sure. Why not? 71 00:02:14,873 --> 00:02:16,832 Ooh! Mwah! Mwah! Ooh. Well. Bravo. 72 00:02:16,875 --> 00:02:19,182 Bravo. Well done. 73 00:02:20,227 --> 00:02:22,403 All right. 74 00:02:22,446 --> 00:02:23,752 Love you! 75 00:02:23,795 --> 00:02:26,189 So, back to the paint? 76 00:02:26,233 --> 00:02:29,236 Ooh! I wonder if it dried lighter. Hmm. 77 00:02:29,279 --> 00:02:32,195 Let's go see. 78 00:02:32,239 --> 00:02:34,241 โ™ช 79 00:02:37,244 --> 00:02:39,028 Sam! Quick favor. 80 00:02:39,071 --> 00:02:40,682 Could you look up all the Mets scores for me 81 00:02:40,725 --> 00:02:42,423 for the last 37 years? 82 00:02:42,466 --> 00:02:44,729 And I'd like to know how all my stocks performed after I died. 83 00:02:44,773 --> 00:02:47,254 My big three were Circuit City, Enron and Blockbuster. 84 00:02:47,297 --> 00:02:50,387 This Spotify thing, am I on there? 85 00:02:50,431 --> 00:02:52,607 Ooh, I'd love to hear some of my old recordings, 86 00:02:52,650 --> 00:02:54,609 instead of that racket Jay's been listening to. 87 00:02:54,652 --> 00:02:56,132 Guys, could you just give me a minute? 88 00:02:56,176 --> 00:02:57,960 I really have to finish this article. Sam, would love 89 00:02:58,003 --> 00:03:00,223 to smell some pizza. Any chance of you throwing one in the oven? 90 00:03:00,267 --> 00:03:02,051 I actually already ate. Yeah, a salad. 91 00:03:02,094 --> 00:03:03,444 What am I supposed to do with that? 92 00:03:03,487 --> 00:03:04,575 So, again, the Mets? 93 00:03:04,619 --> 00:03:05,533 Uh-uh, Pete, you got to take a number. 94 00:03:05,576 --> 00:03:06,447 You're in line behind us. 95 00:03:06,490 --> 00:03:07,622 Guys...Just tell me 96 00:03:07,665 --> 00:03:09,014 how many RBIs Keith Hernandez had in '87. 97 00:03:09,058 --> 00:03:10,320 Give me something. Just go to the... 98 00:03:10,364 --> 00:03:11,452 At the very least, just, like, a piece of toast. 99 00:03:11,495 --> 00:03:12,627 โ™ช Do not ignore a woman. 100 00:03:12,670 --> 00:03:13,628 It takes two seconds...Guys! 101 00:03:14,672 --> 00:03:15,847 Guys, I get that it's cool 102 00:03:15,891 --> 00:03:17,371 that you have access to a Living now, 103 00:03:17,414 --> 00:03:19,677 but you cannot just bombard me with questions all day. 104 00:03:19,721 --> 00:03:21,201 So, why don't you choose 105 00:03:21,244 --> 00:03:23,681 a representative and that person-- and that person only-- 106 00:03:23,725 --> 00:03:25,335 can come to me with requests? 107 00:03:25,379 --> 00:03:26,902 Well, how are we supposed to pick who does that? 108 00:03:26,945 --> 00:03:28,817 I don't know. Have an election! 109 00:03:28,860 --> 00:03:30,471 You okay, ma'am? 110 00:03:30,514 --> 00:03:33,256 Y-Yeah. Just-just on-on Bluetooth. 111 00:03:33,300 --> 00:03:35,215 And, in summary, 112 00:03:35,258 --> 00:03:37,347 do the election. 113 00:03:38,870 --> 00:03:40,350 I don't even know what she pretending to be doing. There's something 114 00:03:40,394 --> 00:03:42,178 with the fountain I need to show you and Jay. 115 00:03:42,222 --> 00:03:43,310 Oh, uh, okay. Yeah. 116 00:03:43,353 --> 00:03:44,789 That's not gonna be good news. 117 00:03:44,833 --> 00:03:45,703 Yeah, probably should've done the roof. 118 00:03:45,747 --> 00:03:47,009 Shut up, Pete! 119 00:03:48,184 --> 00:03:49,490 My name is Mark. 120 00:03:49,533 --> 00:03:51,231 Yeah. Course it is. 121 00:03:52,493 --> 00:03:55,104 Bye, Pete. 122 00:03:56,540 --> 00:03:58,499 We were trying to figure out how this thing's fed. 123 00:03:58,542 --> 00:04:00,109 We came across some cast iron piping. 124 00:04:00,152 --> 00:04:02,633 That'll have to be swapped out. That sounds cheap. 125 00:04:02,677 --> 00:04:04,548 But that's not what I needed to show you. 126 00:04:04,592 --> 00:04:06,158 While we were digging, 127 00:04:06,202 --> 00:04:07,334 we found this. 128 00:04:07,377 --> 00:04:09,292 Oh, my God! 129 00:04:09,336 --> 00:04:10,467 Is that...? 130 00:04:10,511 --> 00:04:11,642 That's right. 131 00:04:11,686 --> 00:04:12,991 Human remains. 132 00:04:14,993 --> 00:04:15,951 Oh, my God. 133 00:04:15,994 --> 00:04:17,257 What? Who is that? 134 00:04:17,300 --> 00:04:19,084 Whoa. Oh. 135 00:04:19,128 --> 00:04:21,130 Hey. That's me! 136 00:04:25,047 --> 00:04:28,311 Are you sure that's you, Thor? Yeah, I died right here. 137 00:04:28,355 --> 00:04:30,705 I watched my flesh rot and my bones swallowed by the earth 138 00:04:30,748 --> 00:04:32,881 over hundreds of years. 139 00:04:32,924 --> 00:04:34,361 Was pretty cool. Thing is, 140 00:04:34,404 --> 00:04:35,623 I got to report it to the county. 141 00:04:35,666 --> 00:04:36,972 No! They'll investigate, 142 00:04:37,015 --> 00:04:38,103 and if they declare it a crime scene, 143 00:04:38,147 --> 00:04:39,627 the whole site gets shut down. 144 00:04:39,670 --> 00:04:41,063 Project could get delayed for months. 145 00:04:41,106 --> 00:04:42,194 Months? 146 00:04:42,238 --> 00:04:43,239 Months? 147 00:04:44,284 --> 00:04:46,111 What if the bones were really old? 148 00:04:46,155 --> 00:04:48,200 Like, uh... like Viking bones? 149 00:04:48,244 --> 00:04:51,291 Just to randomly name some type of really old... bones. 150 00:04:51,334 --> 00:04:53,075 Pretty sure there weren't any Vikings around here. 151 00:04:53,118 --> 00:04:54,032 He lies! 152 00:04:54,076 --> 00:04:56,818 Well, actually... Here we go. 153 00:04:56,861 --> 00:04:59,647 We sailed down the coast from lands north... Vikings sailed down the coast 154 00:04:59,690 --> 00:05:00,909 from lands north...... sent sorties... 155 00:05:00,952 --> 00:05:02,432 Uh, from Canada. 156 00:05:02,476 --> 00:05:04,782 Sent sorties inland to search for furs. 157 00:05:04,826 --> 00:05:07,089 Beavers, otters, moose. Beavers, otters, moose. 158 00:05:07,132 --> 00:05:10,005 And when you find moose, much plenty you shall have. And when you find moose, 159 00:05:10,048 --> 00:05:12,399 much plenty you shall have. 160 00:05:12,442 --> 00:05:13,617 Okay. 161 00:05:13,661 --> 00:05:15,445 She really loves the show Vikings. 162 00:05:15,489 --> 00:05:17,142 Well, if it is Viking, they'll reach out 163 00:05:17,186 --> 00:05:18,622 to the state archeology department, 164 00:05:18,666 --> 00:05:20,363 they call in the nerds with the toothbrushes-- 165 00:05:20,407 --> 00:05:21,930 the whole thing takes longer. 166 00:05:21,973 --> 00:05:24,411 Sorry, guys. But first thing tomorrow, I got to call this in. 167 00:05:24,454 --> 00:05:27,936 This is so bad. We cannot afford a months-long delay. 168 00:05:27,979 --> 00:05:29,154 We have loans to repay. 169 00:05:29,198 --> 00:05:30,373 I'll give you a piece of advice 170 00:05:30,417 --> 00:05:31,853 my bootlegger boyfriend used to live by: 171 00:05:31,896 --> 00:05:34,812 get rid of the damn body. 172 00:05:34,856 --> 00:05:37,467 What if the bones just disappeared? 173 00:05:37,511 --> 00:05:39,339 What are you talking about? Well, 174 00:05:39,382 --> 00:05:41,428 what if he came back tomorrow and the bones were just gone? 175 00:05:41,471 --> 00:05:43,168 And then there's no reason to call the county. 176 00:05:43,212 --> 00:05:44,605 No bones, no problem. 177 00:05:44,648 --> 00:05:46,650 Who are you? 178 00:05:49,392 --> 00:05:51,829 While I'm having a moment of lucidity, 179 00:05:51,873 --> 00:05:53,657 can we just go over this one more time? Sure. 180 00:05:53,701 --> 00:05:56,007 Sam wants us to select a ghost representative 181 00:05:56,051 --> 00:05:57,661 to funnel all of our requests through. 182 00:05:57,705 --> 00:05:58,662 Right on. 183 00:05:58,706 --> 00:06:00,229 So, now, who is Sam? Am I Sam? 184 00:06:00,272 --> 00:06:02,231 And the moment's passed. So now we can't 185 00:06:02,274 --> 00:06:03,711 even approach Samantha? 186 00:06:03,754 --> 00:06:05,452 That's no way to treat a human being. 187 00:06:05,495 --> 00:06:06,627 Who are we, my butler? 188 00:06:06,670 --> 00:06:08,150 Okay. So I guess we just vote? 189 00:06:08,193 --> 00:06:09,847 Fine. Let's do it. Yeah. Great. 190 00:06:12,546 --> 00:06:15,505 Oh, if only it were that simple. 191 00:06:15,549 --> 00:06:17,899 No, my friends, democracy, 192 00:06:17,942 --> 00:06:20,205 though the best form of government, 193 00:06:20,249 --> 00:06:22,120 is a tedious and flawed process. 194 00:06:22,164 --> 00:06:24,688 There will be hours of debate. 195 00:06:24,732 --> 00:06:27,038 Long, boring speeches we'll have to sit through. 196 00:06:27,082 --> 00:06:29,780 Or we could dispense with all of that, 197 00:06:29,824 --> 00:06:31,782 pick me and be done with it. Mm. 198 00:06:31,826 --> 00:06:34,089 Great. Mazel tov. You win. Done. 199 00:06:34,132 --> 00:06:36,787 Wonderful. You've chosen wisely, my friends. 200 00:06:36,831 --> 00:06:40,312 Now it is tradition for the victor to give some remarks. 201 00:06:40,356 --> 00:06:42,489 Don't worry. I'll keep it to a brisk hour. 202 00:06:42,532 --> 00:06:44,316 I knew from an early age... 203 00:06:44,360 --> 00:06:45,622 Aw, screw it. 204 00:06:45,666 --> 00:06:47,319 I'm running against this windbag. 205 00:06:47,363 --> 00:06:48,756 What? Ooh... 206 00:06:48,799 --> 00:06:50,061 Not 'cause I want the gig. 207 00:06:50,105 --> 00:06:51,411 I just don't want him to have it. 208 00:06:51,454 --> 00:06:53,935 What? This is ridiculous. 209 00:06:53,978 --> 00:06:55,415 You were a singer. 210 00:06:55,458 --> 00:06:57,852 I was at the signing of the Declaration of Independence. 211 00:06:57,895 --> 00:06:59,201 No, you weren't. 212 00:06:59,244 --> 00:07:00,158 I was outside. 213 00:07:00,202 --> 00:07:02,073 They started early. 214 00:07:02,117 --> 00:07:04,902 Point is, I practically invented democracy. 215 00:07:04,946 --> 00:07:06,556 Actually, indigenous governments were the model 216 00:07:06,600 --> 00:07:08,428 for American federalism, so... 217 00:07:08,471 --> 00:07:10,691 But... the electoral college 218 00:07:10,734 --> 00:07:11,692 and the powdered wig! 219 00:07:11,735 --> 00:07:13,737 Oh, my! Come on! 220 00:07:13,781 --> 00:07:16,000 Oh, pop some popcorn, 'cause this is about to get good. 221 00:07:16,044 --> 00:07:17,480 We also invented popcorn. 222 00:07:17,524 --> 00:07:18,481 You're welcome. 223 00:07:20,483 --> 00:07:22,267 Oh, this can't be legal. 224 00:07:22,311 --> 00:07:24,226 This is a crime. We're committing a crime. 225 00:07:24,269 --> 00:07:27,534 It's victimless. The victim is literally here saying it's okay. 226 00:07:27,577 --> 00:07:29,318 Yeah. It's cool. 227 00:07:29,361 --> 00:07:31,276 So, how did you end up here? Well, I fell in love with a white girl 228 00:07:31,320 --> 00:07:34,018 with a cute, cute butt and then she inherited a haunted house 229 00:07:34,062 --> 00:07:35,672 and then... Babe, I'm talking to Thorfinn. 230 00:07:35,716 --> 00:07:38,109 Well, it was a long time ago. 231 00:07:38,153 --> 00:07:41,852 Seven winters after the Battle of Svolder. 232 00:07:41,896 --> 00:07:44,768 I was tracking beasts across the land 233 00:07:44,812 --> 00:07:46,770 when a great storm gathered. 234 00:07:46,814 --> 00:07:49,686 But before I could find shelter... 235 00:07:54,169 --> 00:07:57,607 In retrospect, a metal helmet was probably not great idea. 236 00:07:57,651 --> 00:08:00,262 Oh, my God. He was struck by lightning. 237 00:08:00,305 --> 00:08:02,656 What are we gonna do with these? I mean, him. 238 00:08:02,699 --> 00:08:05,136 I mean, you. Sorry to point at you with your own bone. 239 00:08:06,660 --> 00:08:08,400 Viking funeral! 240 00:08:08,444 --> 00:08:10,054 What? What'd he say? 241 00:08:10,098 --> 00:08:11,621 Every Viking boy, from very little, 242 00:08:11,665 --> 00:08:13,623 dreams of dying horrifically 243 00:08:13,667 --> 00:08:16,496 and having a most triumphant Viking funeral. 244 00:08:16,539 --> 00:08:18,498 It is a very special day. 245 00:08:19,716 --> 00:08:22,632 But Thor... never have one. 246 00:08:22,676 --> 00:08:24,155 He wants a Viking funeral. 247 00:08:24,199 --> 00:08:26,593 What, like we shoot a flaming arrow 248 00:08:26,636 --> 00:08:27,985 and burn the bones in a boat? 249 00:08:28,029 --> 00:08:30,858 Yes! Yes! Small man knows. 250 00:08:30,901 --> 00:08:31,772 Yep. 251 00:08:31,815 --> 00:08:33,991 That does sound kind of cool. 252 00:08:34,035 --> 00:08:35,993 And it would be a great way to get rid of the evidence. 253 00:08:36,037 --> 00:08:37,212 I beg of you. 254 00:08:37,255 --> 00:08:39,519 I will forever be in your debt. 255 00:08:39,562 --> 00:08:41,651 It seems really important to him. 256 00:08:41,695 --> 00:08:44,698 Okay, big guy, then I just have one ask. Jay. 257 00:08:44,741 --> 00:08:46,526 Can I shoot the flaming arrow? 258 00:08:46,569 --> 00:08:47,527 I married a nine-year-old. 259 00:08:47,570 --> 00:08:48,658 I like small man. 260 00:08:48,702 --> 00:08:50,704 He is fun. 261 00:08:51,705 --> 00:08:53,576 Yeah, it was crazy. We came downstairs 262 00:08:53,620 --> 00:08:55,273 and we were like, "Whoa!" And the... 263 00:08:55,317 --> 00:08:56,666 and the bones, they were just... 264 00:08:56,710 --> 00:08:58,625 gone. 265 00:08:58,668 --> 00:09:01,628 Hmm. Ah. So you don't have to call the county anymore, huh? 266 00:09:01,671 --> 00:09:04,282 Which is good. All right. 267 00:09:04,326 --> 00:09:05,588 So they're just gone? 268 00:09:05,632 --> 00:09:07,590 Yeah. Must've been an animal? 269 00:09:07,634 --> 00:09:10,201 Wild dog? 270 00:09:10,245 --> 00:09:11,986 Y'all got wild dogs out here? Hey, man, I don't really care. 271 00:09:12,029 --> 00:09:13,640 I didn't want this site shut down either. 272 00:09:13,683 --> 00:09:15,729 That being said, I was talking to a buddy of mine. 273 00:09:15,772 --> 00:09:18,253 He said that if the bones were actually Viking, 274 00:09:18,296 --> 00:09:19,907 could be worth a pretty penny. 275 00:09:21,082 --> 00:09:22,083 Really? Yeah. 276 00:09:22,126 --> 00:09:23,737 A museum would definitely buy them. 277 00:09:23,780 --> 00:09:25,216 But you don't have them, right? 278 00:09:25,260 --> 00:09:26,391 Nah. 279 00:09:26,435 --> 00:09:27,610 Huh. 280 00:09:27,654 --> 00:09:29,220 Sucks about those wild dogs. 281 00:09:29,264 --> 00:09:30,918 โ™ช 282 00:09:35,705 --> 00:09:37,359 Sam?! 283 00:09:37,402 --> 00:09:39,840 So, can I count on your support, Hetty? 284 00:09:39,883 --> 00:09:42,538 Well, I do believe 285 00:09:42,582 --> 00:09:44,627 that women should have each other's backs. 286 00:09:44,671 --> 00:09:46,194 Yes. No. 287 00:09:46,237 --> 00:09:48,370 But I don't believe that women should be allowed to vote. 288 00:09:48,413 --> 00:09:50,111 Hmm. I won't get into the whos and whys, 289 00:09:50,154 --> 00:09:52,679 but it has something to do with overtaxing the female brain. 290 00:09:52,722 --> 00:09:54,376 What the hell? 291 00:09:54,419 --> 00:09:55,595 Come on, Hetty! 292 00:09:55,638 --> 00:09:57,118 I fully endorse your position, 293 00:09:57,161 --> 00:09:58,815 which is why you should vote for me! 294 00:09:58,859 --> 00:10:01,513 Illegitimate though that vote may be! 295 00:10:04,691 --> 00:10:06,518 Okay, so that should be everything. 296 00:10:06,562 --> 00:10:09,086 I found an old canoe out in the boathouse by the pond, 297 00:10:09,130 --> 00:10:11,436 and Jay has been practicing with his arrow. 298 00:10:11,480 --> 00:10:13,830 And mead. Oh, need mead. Watch you 299 00:10:13,874 --> 00:10:15,615 and small man drink. Yes. 300 00:10:15,658 --> 00:10:17,442 We don't have any mead. 301 00:10:17,486 --> 00:10:20,532 No mead? So what do you drink at your orgies? 302 00:10:20,576 --> 00:10:21,664 Bro, 303 00:10:21,708 --> 00:10:23,274 Viking life sounds awesome. 304 00:10:23,318 --> 00:10:25,450 You know, I was wondering-- 305 00:10:25,494 --> 00:10:27,452 if funerals are so important in your culture, 306 00:10:27,496 --> 00:10:28,976 how come you never had one? 307 00:10:29,019 --> 00:10:31,108 Told you. Was... 308 00:10:31,152 --> 00:10:32,936 alone on a mission. Yeah, I know. 309 00:10:32,980 --> 00:10:35,635 But-but when you didn't, you know, return, 310 00:10:35,678 --> 00:10:37,680 could they not find you or... 311 00:10:37,724 --> 00:10:39,160 Don't interrogate Thor! 312 00:10:39,203 --> 00:10:41,205 Less talk, more brew mead! 313 00:10:42,250 --> 00:10:43,686 What was that all about? 314 00:10:43,730 --> 00:10:45,253 Well, it's a complicated time. 315 00:10:45,296 --> 00:10:46,384 There's obviously a lot of emotion 316 00:10:46,428 --> 00:10:47,864 wrapped up with this whole funeral. 317 00:10:47,908 --> 00:10:50,388 Plus, it's been a thousand years since his last orgy. 318 00:10:51,433 --> 00:10:52,956 Big guy's a little pent-up. 319 00:10:55,263 --> 00:10:56,568 You got a sec? 320 00:10:56,612 --> 00:10:57,961 It's about your vote. 321 00:10:58,005 --> 00:10:59,484 Please not this again. Just... 322 00:10:59,528 --> 00:11:01,965 let me say my piece. 323 00:11:02,009 --> 00:11:05,099 When you were alive, women couldn't vote. 324 00:11:05,142 --> 00:11:06,927 And when I was alive, we got the vote 325 00:11:06,970 --> 00:11:08,189 but they ain't make it easy. 326 00:11:08,232 --> 00:11:09,973 And for people like me, 327 00:11:10,017 --> 00:11:12,236 it was still almost impossible, 328 00:11:12,280 --> 00:11:14,325 because the Man didn't want to give up that power. 329 00:11:14,369 --> 00:11:18,721 Yeah, and the Man tried to make us wear bras and shave our pits. 330 00:11:18,765 --> 00:11:21,158 Drop acid, not bombs! 331 00:11:23,683 --> 00:11:24,988 Okay. 332 00:11:25,032 --> 00:11:26,555 The point is... 333 00:11:28,209 --> 00:11:30,254 ...too many people worked too hard 334 00:11:30,298 --> 00:11:33,693 and sacrificed too much for you to just throw this away. 335 00:11:35,390 --> 00:11:37,131 Alberta... 336 00:11:38,349 --> 00:11:39,829 ...you have my vote. 337 00:11:39,873 --> 00:11:41,135 Oh! Yes! 338 00:11:41,178 --> 00:11:42,702 Oh, look at that. 339 00:11:42,745 --> 00:11:45,008 I used my female brain to exercise my rights 340 00:11:45,052 --> 00:11:46,836 and I don't feel the vapors coming on at all. 341 00:11:46,880 --> 00:11:48,533 Wait, hold on. 342 00:11:48,577 --> 00:11:50,013 No, I'm good. 343 00:11:50,057 --> 00:11:51,188 Hey. Hey. 344 00:11:51,232 --> 00:11:52,712 Are we alone right now? 345 00:11:52,755 --> 00:11:54,539 Yes. Okay. Check this out. 346 00:11:54,583 --> 00:11:56,846 Turns out Viking bones are actually really rare 347 00:11:56,890 --> 00:11:58,587 and very valuable. 348 00:11:58,630 --> 00:11:59,893 Really? Yeah. 349 00:11:59,936 --> 00:12:01,764 I called the Natural History Museum in Albany, 350 00:12:01,808 --> 00:12:04,636 and they say that if the bones are genuine, they'll buy them. 351 00:12:04,680 --> 00:12:06,290 Well, for how much? Enough to pay for the fountain 352 00:12:06,334 --> 00:12:08,118 and the roof. 353 00:12:08,162 --> 00:12:10,947 And extra money to put a booth in the kitchen 354 00:12:10,991 --> 00:12:13,558 like Chip and Joanna did in the last season. 355 00:12:13,602 --> 00:12:16,387 The Christmas episode? Empty nesters looking to downsize? 356 00:12:16,431 --> 00:12:17,867 That's what I'm talking about, baby. Oh. 357 00:12:17,911 --> 00:12:20,130 But I already told Thorfinn. 358 00:12:20,174 --> 00:12:22,785 I know. And I wish there was another way, but... 359 00:12:22,829 --> 00:12:24,744 we need the money. 360 00:12:24,787 --> 00:12:26,441 And as much as it pains me to say, 361 00:12:26,484 --> 00:12:29,052 I think we got to sell that big Viking's bones. 362 00:12:29,096 --> 00:12:30,401 Ugh. 363 00:12:30,445 --> 00:12:31,751 Okay, you're right. 364 00:12:33,317 --> 00:12:35,232 How you gonna break it to him? 365 00:12:35,276 --> 00:12:37,234 Um, I will figure something out. 366 00:12:37,278 --> 00:12:39,280 This is gonna be great for us. 367 00:12:39,323 --> 00:12:40,629 Ooh, I'm excited. 368 00:12:40,672 --> 00:12:42,674 Die, little man! Please stop. 369 00:12:47,288 --> 00:12:48,637 So you're saying we get to vote for this... 370 00:12:48,680 --> 00:12:50,204 ghost representative thing? Mm-hmm. 371 00:12:50,247 --> 00:12:51,683 Oh, absolutely. 372 00:12:51,727 --> 00:12:54,121 You're no different than those of us who live upstairs. 373 00:12:54,164 --> 00:12:56,558 Not too close, my dear friend. Wow. 374 00:12:56,601 --> 00:12:58,603 No one ever thinks of us. Oh, but I do. 375 00:12:58,647 --> 00:12:59,648 I think of you. 376 00:12:59,691 --> 00:13:01,781 In fact, I will have vivid memories 377 00:13:01,824 --> 00:13:05,349 of this conversation for a long, long time. 378 00:13:05,393 --> 00:13:06,786 So, can I count on your vote? Hmm? 379 00:13:06,829 --> 00:13:09,745 I promise, if elected, your voice will be heard. 380 00:13:09,789 --> 00:13:10,790 So... 381 00:13:10,833 --> 00:13:12,095 Um, okay! You know what? 382 00:13:12,139 --> 00:13:13,618 Thank you so much for your support! 383 00:13:13,662 --> 00:13:15,751 I am a man of the people! Good day! 384 00:13:15,795 --> 00:13:17,535 Oh, my God. 385 00:13:18,580 --> 00:13:20,451 Hmm, look at the poor brute. 386 00:13:20,495 --> 00:13:22,105 This is all my fault. 387 00:13:22,149 --> 00:13:23,367 Don't worry. He'll get over it in, like, 50 years. 388 00:13:23,411 --> 00:13:24,847 He might mention a Norse curse, 389 00:13:24,891 --> 00:13:26,806 but we don't think that's real. 390 00:13:26,849 --> 00:13:28,111 I mean, you know why we did it, right? 391 00:13:28,155 --> 00:13:29,896 It's not like Jay and I had a choice, right? 392 00:13:29,939 --> 00:13:32,333 Sure, sure. Although part of me did wonder if, 393 00:13:32,376 --> 00:13:34,161 in finally getting his funeral, we might see the big oaf 394 00:13:34,204 --> 00:13:35,162 get sucked off. 395 00:13:35,205 --> 00:13:37,077 Excuse me? Sometimes-- 396 00:13:37,120 --> 00:13:39,949 very rare occasions-- when a ghost is able to resolve 397 00:13:39,993 --> 00:13:43,170 a long-standing issue, the heavens open up and... 398 00:13:43,213 --> 00:13:44,345 whoosh, 399 00:13:44,388 --> 00:13:45,999 they get sucked off. 400 00:13:46,042 --> 00:13:47,652 Yeah, we all dream of getting sucked off. Mm-hmm. 401 00:13:47,696 --> 00:13:49,045 A-And that's the term 402 00:13:49,089 --> 00:13:50,655 that you guys decided... 403 00:13:50,699 --> 00:13:52,048 Don't tell them. Please? 404 00:13:52,092 --> 00:13:53,484 This is all I have. 405 00:13:53,528 --> 00:13:55,095 Let me get this straight. 406 00:13:55,138 --> 00:13:56,487 So, if we had the funeral, 407 00:13:56,531 --> 00:13:58,315 there's a chance that Thor might... 408 00:13:58,359 --> 00:13:59,316 go up? 409 00:13:59,360 --> 00:14:00,491 Get sucked off? Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. 410 00:14:00,535 --> 00:14:02,493 But, again, rarely happens. 411 00:14:02,537 --> 00:14:04,408 I've seen it maybe once. But if it did, 412 00:14:04,452 --> 00:14:05,714 we'd never see him again. 413 00:14:05,757 --> 00:14:07,368 Like... ever. 414 00:14:07,411 --> 00:14:08,717 He deserves it though. 415 00:14:08,760 --> 00:14:09,892 Would love to see the big guy get sucked off. 416 00:14:09,936 --> 00:14:11,633 It would be lovely. 417 00:14:13,374 --> 00:14:14,854 Hey, Thor. 418 00:14:14,897 --> 00:14:16,768 We just came in to see how you're doing. 419 00:14:16,812 --> 00:14:18,248 He grunted. 420 00:14:18,292 --> 00:14:20,207 Thor, I'm really sorry about the funeral, 421 00:14:20,250 --> 00:14:22,992 but, listen, uh, we're kind of stretched financially right now. 422 00:14:23,036 --> 00:14:24,689 We literally owe 423 00:14:24,733 --> 00:14:27,692 thousands of penningars. 424 00:14:27,736 --> 00:14:29,346 I looked up Viking money. 425 00:14:29,390 --> 00:14:31,000 Aw. Do what you must. 426 00:14:31,044 --> 00:14:32,872 But know this: 427 00:14:32,915 --> 00:14:35,396 Jormungandr the Midgard Serpent 428 00:14:35,439 --> 00:14:37,528 will be visiting you in your night sleeps, 429 00:14:37,572 --> 00:14:40,880 and your firstborn child will have head of cabbage. 430 00:14:40,923 --> 00:14:42,533 Okay, are we good? What's he saying? 431 00:14:42,577 --> 00:14:43,883 It's not great. 432 00:14:43,926 --> 00:14:45,362 Do you want to know the real reason 433 00:14:45,406 --> 00:14:47,582 why I did not get Viking funeral? 434 00:14:47,625 --> 00:14:50,193 Why shipmates did not find Thorfinn? 435 00:14:50,237 --> 00:14:53,370 Thor never tell anyone this. 436 00:14:53,414 --> 00:14:55,895 The reason why I was wandering here alone 437 00:14:55,938 --> 00:14:58,985 was because... 438 00:14:59,028 --> 00:15:01,117 I was left behind. 439 00:15:01,161 --> 00:15:03,163 โ™ช 440 00:15:18,395 --> 00:15:20,006 They... 441 00:15:20,049 --> 00:15:21,659 abandoned me. 442 00:15:21,703 --> 00:15:23,313 For reasons unknown. 443 00:15:23,357 --> 00:15:24,575 Oh, Thor. 444 00:15:24,619 --> 00:15:26,360 Sam, you stay strong, woman. 445 00:15:28,231 --> 00:15:30,016 And now you... 446 00:15:30,059 --> 00:15:32,018 have abandoned me, too. 447 00:15:36,065 --> 00:15:37,980 His shipmates abandoned him. 448 00:15:38,024 --> 00:15:41,027 Jay, the ghosts told me that if we help him, 449 00:15:41,070 --> 00:15:43,116 there's a small chance he could get s-- 450 00:15:43,159 --> 00:15:44,813 he could move on to the afterlife. 451 00:15:44,856 --> 00:15:45,988 Oh. 452 00:15:46,032 --> 00:15:48,948 Sam, we really need the money. 453 00:15:48,991 --> 00:15:51,385 Yes, we could use the money, but we would survive without it. 454 00:15:51,428 --> 00:15:52,995 He's been here a thousand years. 455 00:15:53,039 --> 00:15:56,172 Look, I know he's a ghost. But if we don't help him, 456 00:15:56,216 --> 00:15:58,653 aren't we the real monsters? 457 00:15:58,696 --> 00:16:00,394 Babe, that was so poetic. 458 00:16:00,437 --> 00:16:02,831 I know, right? Oh, my-- Mmm. 459 00:16:02,874 --> 00:16:04,920 Oh... All right. 460 00:16:04,964 --> 00:16:06,922 Fine. Fine. Funeral's back on. 461 00:16:06,966 --> 00:16:08,445 Hey, Thor, buddy. 462 00:16:08,489 --> 00:16:09,620 Funeral's back on. 463 00:16:09,664 --> 00:16:11,057 Oh, no, he left the room. 464 00:16:11,100 --> 00:16:12,623 Okay. This is getting really confusing. 465 00:16:12,667 --> 00:16:13,973 We got to work on this. Thor! 466 00:16:14,016 --> 00:16:16,018 Thor! Thor! The funeral's on! 467 00:16:16,062 --> 00:16:17,019 Yes! 468 00:16:17,063 --> 00:16:18,978 By the fangs of Fenrir, 469 00:16:19,021 --> 00:16:20,066 I thank you. 470 00:16:20,109 --> 00:16:21,981 Is he happy? 471 00:16:22,024 --> 00:16:23,939 Yay! 472 00:16:23,983 --> 00:16:25,288 Oh, so about that curse... 473 00:16:25,332 --> 00:16:26,898 Can't be undone. 474 00:16:26,942 --> 00:16:28,204 Sorry. 475 00:16:28,248 --> 00:16:29,597 What curse? 476 00:16:29,640 --> 00:16:32,600 It gives me great pleasure 477 00:16:32,643 --> 00:16:35,298 to cast the deciding vote for... 478 00:16:35,342 --> 00:16:36,343 Alberta! 479 00:16:37,648 --> 00:16:39,607 Who made me realize that women should vote. 480 00:16:39,650 --> 00:16:41,826 Although I'm still against them going to college. 481 00:16:41,870 --> 00:16:44,220 Baby steps. Isaac, 482 00:16:44,264 --> 00:16:45,656 you ran a good campaign. 483 00:16:45,700 --> 00:16:47,136 Just not as good as mine. 484 00:16:47,180 --> 00:16:49,399 Point of order: I believe 485 00:16:49,443 --> 00:16:52,663 not all the votes have been counted. 486 00:16:52,707 --> 00:16:54,839 Oh, God.You may have thought 487 00:16:54,883 --> 00:16:56,798 your upstairs votes were all that mattered. 488 00:16:56,841 --> 00:16:58,278 But true democracy 489 00:16:58,321 --> 00:17:00,367 leaves no one behind. 490 00:17:00,410 --> 00:17:02,151 And they stand with me. 491 00:17:02,195 --> 00:17:03,805 But not too close. Not too close. 492 00:17:03,848 --> 00:17:05,894 Well, this seems a little underhanded. 493 00:17:05,937 --> 00:17:07,983 Let the coronation proceed. 494 00:17:08,027 --> 00:17:09,637 Ooh. Yeah. 495 00:17:09,680 --> 00:17:12,074 We're all voting for Creepy Dirk. 496 00:17:14,903 --> 00:17:16,557 But that would make him the winner. 497 00:17:16,600 --> 00:17:18,298 So, uh, 498 00:17:18,341 --> 00:17:21,910 when do I get to talk to the lady that smells good? 499 00:17:23,129 --> 00:17:24,434 Yeah, democracy is broken. 500 00:17:24,478 --> 00:17:26,915 It's a flawed system, everyone. 501 00:17:26,958 --> 00:17:29,222 All right. Now, remember, just like we talked about. Ooh! 502 00:17:29,265 --> 00:17:30,571 Keep your back straight. Keep your back straight. 503 00:17:30,614 --> 00:17:32,355 Mm-hmm. Now pull back slowly but evenly 504 00:17:32,399 --> 00:17:33,400 with the first...Now pull back... 505 00:17:33,443 --> 00:17:34,879 I would take Pete's advice on this 506 00:17:34,923 --> 00:17:36,446 with a grain of salt. 507 00:17:36,490 --> 00:17:38,405 ...of your index and middle fingers. 508 00:17:43,671 --> 00:17:45,803 Bravo, bravo. 509 00:17:45,847 --> 00:17:47,979 Thor wants to thank Samantha and small man 510 00:17:48,023 --> 00:17:50,373 for making special day possible. 511 00:17:50,417 --> 00:17:52,419 Though I wish you would have secured mead. 512 00:17:52,462 --> 00:17:54,203 But we'll let that go. 513 00:17:54,247 --> 00:17:55,857 You're welcome, Thor. Mm-hmm. 514 00:17:58,251 --> 00:17:59,904 Sometimes you meet a bro 515 00:17:59,948 --> 00:18:01,732 and you're like, "This is a bro..." 516 00:18:01,776 --> 00:18:03,212 I just wanted to say that, 517 00:18:03,256 --> 00:18:05,388 even though neither of us won the election, 518 00:18:05,432 --> 00:18:06,694 you have won my respect. 519 00:18:06,737 --> 00:18:08,217 Where is this going? 520 00:18:08,261 --> 00:18:09,740 I resorted to dirty tricks, 521 00:18:09,784 --> 00:18:11,916 and you, you inspired people. 522 00:18:11,960 --> 00:18:13,918 That's the mark of a truly talented politician. 523 00:18:13,962 --> 00:18:16,878 Well, you know, I do have that star quality. 524 00:18:16,921 --> 00:18:18,923 Oh, I didn't mean to imply that you don't. 525 00:18:18,967 --> 00:18:20,838 No, it's a fair critique. 526 00:18:20,882 --> 00:18:22,405 I was never the type the commoners liked 527 00:18:22,449 --> 00:18:24,103 to have an ale with. 528 00:18:24,146 --> 00:18:26,235 Those dirty, filthy, ignorant commoners. 529 00:18:26,279 --> 00:18:27,932 Hard to see why they didn't like you. 530 00:18:27,976 --> 00:18:30,848 Agreed. It's a mystery. 531 00:18:30,892 --> 00:18:33,329 Now is typically time when we have orgy. But... 532 00:18:33,373 --> 00:18:35,462 orgy without mead is... 533 00:18:35,505 --> 00:18:36,724 very awkward. 534 00:18:37,986 --> 00:18:39,901 โ™ช 535 00:18:39,944 --> 00:18:41,555 Oh! It's happening! 536 00:18:41,598 --> 00:18:43,992 He is getting sucked off! 537 00:18:44,035 --> 00:18:46,864 By the eye of the All-father! 538 00:18:46,908 --> 00:18:48,301 Valhalla! 539 00:18:48,344 --> 00:18:49,302 Wait! 540 00:18:51,260 --> 00:18:52,479 Thorfinn, I love you. 541 00:18:52,522 --> 00:18:53,958 Oh. 542 00:18:54,002 --> 00:18:55,308 I've always loved you. 543 00:18:55,351 --> 00:18:57,266 Why you wait till now to say this? 544 00:18:57,310 --> 00:18:58,833 So many years wasted! 545 00:19:00,269 --> 00:19:02,967 Please extinguish the fire in the middle of the pond! 546 00:19:03,011 --> 00:19:04,665 You do not have a permit. 547 00:19:04,708 --> 00:19:08,147 Sorry!Yeah, I'll take care of it right now! Thank you! 548 00:19:08,190 --> 00:19:09,887 Uh... 549 00:19:12,107 --> 00:19:15,502 So, now seems like we have second chance. 550 00:19:15,545 --> 00:19:18,635 You know, I think I kind of got caught up in the moment. 551 00:19:18,679 --> 00:19:20,376 Yeah. Just... 552 00:19:20,420 --> 00:19:22,204 And I-I don't really want to be tied down. 553 00:19:22,248 --> 00:19:24,467 Moving on! Yeah. 554 00:19:24,511 --> 00:19:26,121 Not in love. Cool, cool. 555 00:19:26,165 --> 00:19:29,037 Thank you for doing all this. It really meant a lot to him. 556 00:19:29,080 --> 00:19:32,345 I'm glad. And, um, don't worry about the house and everything. 557 00:19:32,388 --> 00:19:36,044 We got a lot to fix up, but we'll figure it out. 558 00:19:36,087 --> 00:19:37,480 Custom booth would've been nice. 559 00:19:37,524 --> 00:19:39,482 It would've been a game changer. 560 00:19:39,526 --> 00:19:42,311 But I got to say, watching my man fire that arrow, 561 00:19:42,355 --> 00:19:43,660 pretty hot. 562 00:19:43,704 --> 00:19:45,358 Indeed. 563 00:19:45,401 --> 00:19:46,402 The fire. 564 00:19:46,446 --> 00:19:48,012 The fire is what's hot. 565 00:19:48,056 --> 00:19:50,798 As fire is. And no one can argue with that. 566 00:19:50,841 --> 00:19:52,452 So... 567 00:19:52,495 --> 00:19:54,280 How are you, big guy? 568 00:19:54,323 --> 00:19:56,151 I am happy. 569 00:19:56,195 --> 00:19:58,762 It was not time for Thor to be sucked off. 570 00:19:59,850 --> 00:20:02,505 Shipmates may have abandoned Thor, but... 571 00:20:02,549 --> 00:20:04,507 you did not. 572 00:20:04,551 --> 00:20:06,379 And that goes for all of you! 573 00:20:06,422 --> 00:20:09,033 You have never abandoned me. 574 00:20:09,077 --> 00:20:10,339 And for that, 575 00:20:10,383 --> 00:20:12,254 I am thankful! 576 00:20:12,298 --> 00:20:14,430 Thank you. How could we abandon him? 577 00:20:14,474 --> 00:20:15,692 We literally can't leave. 578 00:20:15,736 --> 00:20:17,738 Shh. Just let him have this. 579 00:20:17,781 --> 00:20:19,130 Okay. 580 00:20:19,174 --> 00:20:20,436 We would never leave you. Rejoice! 581 00:20:20,480 --> 00:20:22,482 โ™ช 582 00:20:29,140 --> 00:20:30,272 So we'll meet down here once a week to 583 00:20:30,316 --> 00:20:33,275 go over the ghost requests. 584 00:20:33,319 --> 00:20:34,581 Uh-huh. First request-- 585 00:20:34,624 --> 00:20:36,017 this comes from Stuart-- 586 00:20:36,060 --> 00:20:38,933 do you mind if he smells you? 587 00:20:38,976 --> 00:20:40,543 Nope, not doing this. Sorry, guys. 588 00:20:40,587 --> 00:20:42,241 Aw... 589 00:20:46,810 --> 00:20:48,247 Captioning sponsored by CBS 590 00:20:49,900 --> 00:20:50,814 Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org 41462

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