Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:06,223 --> 00:00:07,094
Who are you?
2
00:00:07,137 --> 00:00:08,225
We are ghosts.
3
00:00:08,269 --> 00:00:09,618
While most
spirits pass on
4
00:00:09,661 --> 00:00:12,273
to the afterlife, we are cursed
to spend eternity...
5
00:00:12,316 --> 00:00:14,101
Oh, and she's gone.
6
00:00:14,144 --> 00:00:15,754
Now what's gonna
happen to the house?
7
00:00:15,798 --> 00:00:16,842
This is huge.
8
00:00:16,886 --> 00:00:18,583
And it's all ours!
9
00:00:18,627 --> 00:00:19,671
This must be them,
10
00:00:19,715 --> 00:00:21,064
the new folks
that own the house.
11
00:00:21,108 --> 00:00:22,457
W-Watch out!
12
00:00:24,502 --> 00:00:26,113
Oh.
Oh!
13
00:00:27,201 --> 00:00:28,985
Oh, my God. Sam. Sam!
14
00:00:29,029 --> 00:00:31,248
Seems as if your accident
left you so close to death
15
00:00:31,292 --> 00:00:33,294
that you somehow
gained the ability
16
00:00:33,337 --> 00:00:34,947
to actually
see dead people.
17
00:00:34,991 --> 00:00:36,427
They're here.
They're all behind you.
18
00:00:36,471 --> 00:00:37,428
Hello!
19
00:00:37,472 --> 00:00:39,561
I don't see anybody.
20
00:00:39,604 --> 00:00:41,084
There's a bunch of zombies
down here!
21
00:00:41,128 --> 00:00:43,434
Zombies?
Zombies aren't real.
22
00:00:43,478 --> 00:00:44,392
We're ghosts.
23
00:00:44,435 --> 00:00:45,480
Okay, fine.
24
00:00:45,523 --> 00:00:46,785
I see all of you.
25
00:00:46,829 --> 00:00:48,483
I admit your existence. Happy?
26
00:00:48,526 --> 00:00:49,527
What?
27
00:00:50,572 --> 00:00:52,139
You're not even listening to me.
28
00:00:52,182 --> 00:00:53,662
Babe, you're
not listening tome.
29
00:00:54,880 --> 00:00:57,057
The Livings, they are fighting.
30
00:00:57,100 --> 00:00:58,362
Ooh, nothing better
than watching
31
00:00:58,406 --> 00:00:59,755
a good husband-wife argument.
32
00:00:59,798 --> 00:01:00,756
What's the beef?
33
00:01:00,799 --> 00:01:02,105
He wants to fix the roof,
34
00:01:02,149 --> 00:01:04,325
and she wants to fix
the fountain.
Ah.
35
00:01:04,368 --> 00:01:06,370
Home renovation--
a classic of the genre.
36
00:01:06,414 --> 00:01:07,415
Shall we go...
37
00:01:07,458 --> 00:01:08,633
spectate?
38
00:01:08,677 --> 00:01:10,505
I mean, we're
literally watching paint dry.
39
00:01:10,548 --> 00:01:13,682
These new glosses are fantastic.
But, yeah,
40
00:01:13,725 --> 00:01:14,770
fight's probably
more interesting.
41
00:01:18,600 --> 00:01:21,081
So, imagine-- you're a guest
driving up to our B&B
42
00:01:21,124 --> 00:01:23,692
and the first thing you see is
this giant gleaming fountain.
43
00:01:23,735 --> 00:01:27,174
Look, babe, nobody loves a fancy
fountain more than I do, but...
44
00:01:27,217 --> 00:01:28,566
He's gonna pivot
back to the roof.
45
00:01:28,610 --> 00:01:31,265
I think we need to focus
on the bigger picture.
46
00:01:32,179 --> 00:01:33,223
Which is the roof.
47
00:01:33,267 --> 00:01:34,529
Ha-ha! Ding, ding!
Oh! You nailed that!
48
00:01:34,572 --> 00:01:35,921
Please be quiet!
49
00:01:35,965 --> 00:01:38,707
Excuse me, am I not allowed
to have an opinion?
50
00:01:38,750 --> 00:01:40,230
I was talking
to the ghosts.
51
00:01:40,274 --> 00:01:41,797
Right. Because ghosts
are a real thing
52
00:01:41,840 --> 00:01:43,190
and my wife talks
to them now.
53
00:01:43,233 --> 00:01:44,887
Wait, are they in here?
54
00:01:44,930 --> 00:01:45,888
Yes, they are.
55
00:01:45,931 --> 00:01:47,368
And they are
very annoying.
56
00:01:47,411 --> 00:01:48,499
Well, that's uncalled for.
She's not wrong.
57
00:01:48,543 --> 00:01:50,110
That's a little harsh.Look,
58
00:01:50,153 --> 00:01:51,850
I didn't want to bring this up,
but...
59
00:01:51,894 --> 00:01:54,157
I did give in
on moving here for you.
60
00:01:54,201 --> 00:01:55,767
Somebody's playing
card of guilt.
61
00:01:55,811 --> 00:01:56,768
Mm.
I gave up my job.
62
00:01:56,812 --> 00:01:58,683
I gave up my friends.
63
00:01:58,727 --> 00:02:01,208
I know, and I appreciate you.
64
00:02:01,251 --> 00:02:04,385
But... we're gonna have to fix
the fountain eventually.
65
00:02:04,428 --> 00:02:05,734
And, just so you know,
66
00:02:05,777 --> 00:02:06,996
the ghosts agree with me.
67
00:02:07,039 --> 00:02:08,998
She making things up!
68
00:02:09,041 --> 00:02:10,608
Ruthless.
So hot.
69
00:02:10,652 --> 00:02:12,871
So, shall I talk
to the contractor?
70
00:02:12,915 --> 00:02:14,830
Sure. Why not?
71
00:02:14,873 --> 00:02:16,832
Ooh! Mwah! Mwah!
Ooh. Well. Bravo.
72
00:02:16,875 --> 00:02:19,182
Bravo.
Well done.
73
00:02:20,227 --> 00:02:22,403
All right.
74
00:02:22,446 --> 00:02:23,752
Love you!
75
00:02:23,795 --> 00:02:26,189
So, back to the paint?
76
00:02:26,233 --> 00:02:29,236
Ooh! I wonder
if it dried lighter.
Hmm.
77
00:02:29,279 --> 00:02:32,195
Let's go see.
78
00:02:32,239 --> 00:02:34,241
โช
79
00:02:37,244 --> 00:02:39,028
Sam! Quick favor.
80
00:02:39,071 --> 00:02:40,682
Could you look up all
the Mets scores for me
81
00:02:40,725 --> 00:02:42,423
for the last 37 years?
82
00:02:42,466 --> 00:02:44,729
And I'd like to know how all my
stocks performed after I died.
83
00:02:44,773 --> 00:02:47,254
My big three were Circuit City,
Enron and Blockbuster.
84
00:02:47,297 --> 00:02:50,387
This Spotify thing,
am I on there?
85
00:02:50,431 --> 00:02:52,607
Ooh, I'd love to hear
some of my old recordings,
86
00:02:52,650 --> 00:02:54,609
instead of that racket
Jay's been listening to.
87
00:02:54,652 --> 00:02:56,132
Guys, could you
just give me a minute?
88
00:02:56,176 --> 00:02:57,960
I really have
to finish this article.
Sam, would love
89
00:02:58,003 --> 00:03:00,223
to smell some pizza. Any chance
of you throwing one in the oven?
90
00:03:00,267 --> 00:03:02,051
I actually already ate.
Yeah, a salad.
91
00:03:02,094 --> 00:03:03,444
What am I supposed
to do with that?
92
00:03:03,487 --> 00:03:04,575
So, again,
the Mets?
93
00:03:04,619 --> 00:03:05,533
Uh-uh, Pete,
you got to take a number.
94
00:03:05,576 --> 00:03:06,447
You're in line
behind us.
95
00:03:06,490 --> 00:03:07,622
Guys...Just tell me
96
00:03:07,665 --> 00:03:09,014
how many RBIs
Keith Hernandez had in '87.
97
00:03:09,058 --> 00:03:10,320
Give me something.
Just go to the...
98
00:03:10,364 --> 00:03:11,452
At the very least, just,
like, a piece of toast.
99
00:03:11,495 --> 00:03:12,627
โช Do not ignore a woman.
100
00:03:12,670 --> 00:03:13,628
It takes two seconds...Guys!
101
00:03:14,672 --> 00:03:15,847
Guys, I get that it's cool
102
00:03:15,891 --> 00:03:17,371
that you have access
to a Living now,
103
00:03:17,414 --> 00:03:19,677
but you cannot just bombard me
with questions all day.
104
00:03:19,721 --> 00:03:21,201
So, why don't you choose
105
00:03:21,244 --> 00:03:23,681
a representative and that
person-- and that person only--
106
00:03:23,725 --> 00:03:25,335
can come to me
with requests?
107
00:03:25,379 --> 00:03:26,902
Well, how are we supposed
to pick who does that?
108
00:03:26,945 --> 00:03:28,817
I don't know.
Have an election!
109
00:03:28,860 --> 00:03:30,471
You okay, ma'am?
110
00:03:30,514 --> 00:03:33,256
Y-Yeah. Just-just
on-on Bluetooth.
111
00:03:33,300 --> 00:03:35,215
And, in summary,
112
00:03:35,258 --> 00:03:37,347
do the election.
113
00:03:38,870 --> 00:03:40,350
I don't even know
what she pretending to be doing.
There's something
114
00:03:40,394 --> 00:03:42,178
with the fountain I need
to show you and Jay.
115
00:03:42,222 --> 00:03:43,310
Oh, uh, okay. Yeah.
116
00:03:43,353 --> 00:03:44,789
That's not gonna be
good news.
117
00:03:44,833 --> 00:03:45,703
Yeah, probably should've
done the roof.
118
00:03:45,747 --> 00:03:47,009
Shut up, Pete!
119
00:03:48,184 --> 00:03:49,490
My name is Mark.
120
00:03:49,533 --> 00:03:51,231
Yeah.
Course it is.
121
00:03:52,493 --> 00:03:55,104
Bye, Pete.
122
00:03:56,540 --> 00:03:58,499
We were trying to figure
out how this thing's fed.
123
00:03:58,542 --> 00:04:00,109
We came across some
cast iron piping.
124
00:04:00,152 --> 00:04:02,633
That'll have to be swapped out.
That sounds cheap.
125
00:04:02,677 --> 00:04:04,548
But that's not what
I needed to show you.
126
00:04:04,592 --> 00:04:06,158
While we
were digging,
127
00:04:06,202 --> 00:04:07,334
we found this.
128
00:04:07,377 --> 00:04:09,292
Oh, my God!
129
00:04:09,336 --> 00:04:10,467
Is that...?
130
00:04:10,511 --> 00:04:11,642
That's right.
131
00:04:11,686 --> 00:04:12,991
Human remains.
132
00:04:14,993 --> 00:04:15,951
Oh, my God.
133
00:04:15,994 --> 00:04:17,257
What?
Who is that?
134
00:04:17,300 --> 00:04:19,084
Whoa.
Oh.
135
00:04:19,128 --> 00:04:21,130
Hey. That's me!
136
00:04:25,047 --> 00:04:28,311
Are you sure that's you, Thor?
Yeah, I died right here.
137
00:04:28,355 --> 00:04:30,705
I watched my flesh rot and
my bones swallowed by the earth
138
00:04:30,748 --> 00:04:32,881
over hundreds of years.
139
00:04:32,924 --> 00:04:34,361
Was pretty cool.
Thing is,
140
00:04:34,404 --> 00:04:35,623
I got to report it
to the county.
141
00:04:35,666 --> 00:04:36,972
No!
They'll investigate,
142
00:04:37,015 --> 00:04:38,103
and if they declare
it a crime scene,
143
00:04:38,147 --> 00:04:39,627
the whole site gets shut down.
144
00:04:39,670 --> 00:04:41,063
Project could get
delayed for months.
145
00:04:41,106 --> 00:04:42,194
Months?
146
00:04:42,238 --> 00:04:43,239
Months?
147
00:04:44,284 --> 00:04:46,111
What if the bones
were really old?
148
00:04:46,155 --> 00:04:48,200
Like, uh...
like Viking bones?
149
00:04:48,244 --> 00:04:51,291
Just to randomly name some type
of really old... bones.
150
00:04:51,334 --> 00:04:53,075
Pretty sure there weren't
any Vikings around here.
151
00:04:53,118 --> 00:04:54,032
He lies!
152
00:04:54,076 --> 00:04:56,818
Well, actually...
Here we go.
153
00:04:56,861 --> 00:04:59,647
We sailed down the coast
from lands north...
Vikings sailed down the coast
154
00:04:59,690 --> 00:05:00,909
from lands north......
sent sorties...
155
00:05:00,952 --> 00:05:02,432
Uh, from Canada.
156
00:05:02,476 --> 00:05:04,782
Sent sorties inland
to search for furs.
157
00:05:04,826 --> 00:05:07,089
Beavers, otters, moose.
Beavers, otters, moose.
158
00:05:07,132 --> 00:05:10,005
And when you find moose,
much plenty you shall have.
And when you find moose,
159
00:05:10,048 --> 00:05:12,399
much plenty
you shall have.
160
00:05:12,442 --> 00:05:13,617
Okay.
161
00:05:13,661 --> 00:05:15,445
She really loves the show
Vikings.
162
00:05:15,489 --> 00:05:17,142
Well, if it is Viking,
they'll reach out
163
00:05:17,186 --> 00:05:18,622
to the state
archeology department,
164
00:05:18,666 --> 00:05:20,363
they call in the nerds
with the toothbrushes--
165
00:05:20,407 --> 00:05:21,930
the whole thing takes longer.
166
00:05:21,973 --> 00:05:24,411
Sorry, guys. But first thing
tomorrow, I got to call this in.
167
00:05:24,454 --> 00:05:27,936
This is so bad. We cannot
afford a months-long delay.
168
00:05:27,979 --> 00:05:29,154
We have loans to repay.
169
00:05:29,198 --> 00:05:30,373
I'll give you
a piece of advice
170
00:05:30,417 --> 00:05:31,853
my bootlegger boyfriend
used to live by:
171
00:05:31,896 --> 00:05:34,812
get rid of
the damn body.
172
00:05:34,856 --> 00:05:37,467
What if the bones
just disappeared?
173
00:05:37,511 --> 00:05:39,339
What are you talking about?
Well,
174
00:05:39,382 --> 00:05:41,428
what if he came back tomorrow
and the bones were just gone?
175
00:05:41,471 --> 00:05:43,168
And then there's no reason
to call the county.
176
00:05:43,212 --> 00:05:44,605
No bones, no problem.
177
00:05:44,648 --> 00:05:46,650
Who are you?
178
00:05:49,392 --> 00:05:51,829
While I'm having
a moment of lucidity,
179
00:05:51,873 --> 00:05:53,657
can we just go over this
one more time?
Sure.
180
00:05:53,701 --> 00:05:56,007
Sam wants us to select
a ghost representative
181
00:05:56,051 --> 00:05:57,661
to funnel all
of our requests through.
182
00:05:57,705 --> 00:05:58,662
Right on.
183
00:05:58,706 --> 00:06:00,229
So, now, who is Sam?
Am I Sam?
184
00:06:00,272 --> 00:06:02,231
And the moment's passed.
So now we can't
185
00:06:02,274 --> 00:06:03,711
even approach Samantha?
186
00:06:03,754 --> 00:06:05,452
That's no way
to treat a human being.
187
00:06:05,495 --> 00:06:06,627
Who are we, my butler?
188
00:06:06,670 --> 00:06:08,150
Okay. So I guess
we just vote?
189
00:06:08,193 --> 00:06:09,847
Fine.
Let's do it.
Yeah. Great.
190
00:06:12,546 --> 00:06:15,505
Oh, if only it were that simple.
191
00:06:15,549 --> 00:06:17,899
No, my friends, democracy,
192
00:06:17,942 --> 00:06:20,205
though the best form
of government,
193
00:06:20,249 --> 00:06:22,120
is a tedious
and flawed process.
194
00:06:22,164 --> 00:06:24,688
There will be hours
of debate.
195
00:06:24,732 --> 00:06:27,038
Long, boring speeches
we'll have to sit through.
196
00:06:27,082 --> 00:06:29,780
Or we could dispense
with all of that,
197
00:06:29,824 --> 00:06:31,782
pick me and be
done with it. Mm.
198
00:06:31,826 --> 00:06:34,089
Great. Mazel tov.
You win. Done.
199
00:06:34,132 --> 00:06:36,787
Wonderful. You've chosen
wisely, my friends.
200
00:06:36,831 --> 00:06:40,312
Now it is tradition for
the victor to give some remarks.
201
00:06:40,356 --> 00:06:42,489
Don't worry.
I'll keep it to a brisk hour.
202
00:06:42,532 --> 00:06:44,316
I knew from an early age...
203
00:06:44,360 --> 00:06:45,622
Aw, screw it.
204
00:06:45,666 --> 00:06:47,319
I'm running against
this windbag.
205
00:06:47,363 --> 00:06:48,756
What?
Ooh...
206
00:06:48,799 --> 00:06:50,061
Not 'cause I
want the gig.
207
00:06:50,105 --> 00:06:51,411
I just don't want him
to have it.
208
00:06:51,454 --> 00:06:53,935
What?
This is ridiculous.
209
00:06:53,978 --> 00:06:55,415
You were a singer.
210
00:06:55,458 --> 00:06:57,852
I was at the signing of
the Declaration of Independence.
211
00:06:57,895 --> 00:06:59,201
No, you weren't.
212
00:06:59,244 --> 00:07:00,158
I was outside.
213
00:07:00,202 --> 00:07:02,073
They started early.
214
00:07:02,117 --> 00:07:04,902
Point is, I practically invented
democracy.
215
00:07:04,946 --> 00:07:06,556
Actually, indigenous governments
were the model
216
00:07:06,600 --> 00:07:08,428
for American federalism,
so...
217
00:07:08,471 --> 00:07:10,691
But... the electoral college
218
00:07:10,734 --> 00:07:11,692
and the powdered wig!
219
00:07:11,735 --> 00:07:13,737
Oh, my! Come on!
220
00:07:13,781 --> 00:07:16,000
Oh, pop some popcorn, 'cause
this is about to get good.
221
00:07:16,044 --> 00:07:17,480
We also invented popcorn.
222
00:07:17,524 --> 00:07:18,481
You're welcome.
223
00:07:20,483 --> 00:07:22,267
Oh, this can't be legal.
224
00:07:22,311 --> 00:07:24,226
This is a crime.
We're committing a crime.
225
00:07:24,269 --> 00:07:27,534
It's victimless. The victim is
literally here saying it's okay.
226
00:07:27,577 --> 00:07:29,318
Yeah. It's cool.
227
00:07:29,361 --> 00:07:31,276
So, how did you end up here?
Well, I fell in love
with a white girl
228
00:07:31,320 --> 00:07:34,018
with a cute, cute butt and then
she inherited a haunted house
229
00:07:34,062 --> 00:07:35,672
and then...
Babe, I'm talking to Thorfinn.
230
00:07:35,716 --> 00:07:38,109
Well, it was a
long time ago.
231
00:07:38,153 --> 00:07:41,852
Seven winters
after the Battle of Svolder.
232
00:07:41,896 --> 00:07:44,768
I was tracking beasts
across the land
233
00:07:44,812 --> 00:07:46,770
when a great storm gathered.
234
00:07:46,814 --> 00:07:49,686
But before I could find
shelter...
235
00:07:54,169 --> 00:07:57,607
In retrospect, a metal helmet
was probably not great idea.
236
00:07:57,651 --> 00:08:00,262
Oh, my God. He was
struck by lightning.
237
00:08:00,305 --> 00:08:02,656
What are we gonna do with these?
I mean, him.
238
00:08:02,699 --> 00:08:05,136
I mean, you. Sorry to point
at you with your own bone.
239
00:08:06,660 --> 00:08:08,400
Viking funeral!
240
00:08:08,444 --> 00:08:10,054
What?
What'd he say?
241
00:08:10,098 --> 00:08:11,621
Every Viking boy,
from very little,
242
00:08:11,665 --> 00:08:13,623
dreams of dying horrifically
243
00:08:13,667 --> 00:08:16,496
and having a most triumphant
Viking funeral.
244
00:08:16,539 --> 00:08:18,498
It is a very special day.
245
00:08:19,716 --> 00:08:22,632
But Thor... never have one.
246
00:08:22,676 --> 00:08:24,155
He wants a Viking funeral.
247
00:08:24,199 --> 00:08:26,593
What,
like we shoot a flaming arrow
248
00:08:26,636 --> 00:08:27,985
and burn the bones
in a boat?
249
00:08:28,029 --> 00:08:30,858
Yes! Yes! Small man knows.
250
00:08:30,901 --> 00:08:31,772
Yep.
251
00:08:31,815 --> 00:08:33,991
That does sound kind of cool.
252
00:08:34,035 --> 00:08:35,993
And it would be a great way
to get rid of the evidence.
253
00:08:36,037 --> 00:08:37,212
I beg of you.
254
00:08:37,255 --> 00:08:39,519
I will forever be in your debt.
255
00:08:39,562 --> 00:08:41,651
It seems really important
to him.
256
00:08:41,695 --> 00:08:44,698
Okay, big guy,
then I just have one ask.
Jay.
257
00:08:44,741 --> 00:08:46,526
Can I shoot the flaming arrow?
258
00:08:46,569 --> 00:08:47,527
I married
a nine-year-old.
259
00:08:47,570 --> 00:08:48,658
I like small man.
260
00:08:48,702 --> 00:08:50,704
He is fun.
261
00:08:51,705 --> 00:08:53,576
Yeah, it was crazy.
We came downstairs
262
00:08:53,620 --> 00:08:55,273
and we were like, "Whoa!"
And the...
263
00:08:55,317 --> 00:08:56,666
and the bones,
they were just...
264
00:08:56,710 --> 00:08:58,625
gone.
265
00:08:58,668 --> 00:09:01,628
Hmm. Ah.
So you don't have
to call the county anymore, huh?
266
00:09:01,671 --> 00:09:04,282
Which is good. All right.
267
00:09:04,326 --> 00:09:05,588
So they're just gone?
268
00:09:05,632 --> 00:09:07,590
Yeah. Must've been an animal?
269
00:09:07,634 --> 00:09:10,201
Wild dog?
270
00:09:10,245 --> 00:09:11,986
Y'all got wild dogs out here?
Hey, man, I don't really care.
271
00:09:12,029 --> 00:09:13,640
I didn't want this site
shut down either.
272
00:09:13,683 --> 00:09:15,729
That being said, I was
talking to a buddy of mine.
273
00:09:15,772 --> 00:09:18,253
He said that if the bones
were actually Viking,
274
00:09:18,296 --> 00:09:19,907
could be worth a pretty penny.
275
00:09:21,082 --> 00:09:22,083
Really?
Yeah.
276
00:09:22,126 --> 00:09:23,737
A museum would
definitely buy them.
277
00:09:23,780 --> 00:09:25,216
But you don't have them, right?
278
00:09:25,260 --> 00:09:26,391
Nah.
279
00:09:26,435 --> 00:09:27,610
Huh.
280
00:09:27,654 --> 00:09:29,220
Sucks about those wild dogs.
281
00:09:29,264 --> 00:09:30,918
โช
282
00:09:35,705 --> 00:09:37,359
Sam?!
283
00:09:37,402 --> 00:09:39,840
So, can I count on
your support, Hetty?
284
00:09:39,883 --> 00:09:42,538
Well, I do believe
285
00:09:42,582 --> 00:09:44,627
that women should have
each other's backs.
286
00:09:44,671 --> 00:09:46,194
Yes.
No.
287
00:09:46,237 --> 00:09:48,370
But I don't believe that women
should be allowed to vote.
288
00:09:48,413 --> 00:09:50,111
Hmm.
I won't get into
the whos and whys,
289
00:09:50,154 --> 00:09:52,679
but it has something to do with
overtaxing the female brain.
290
00:09:52,722 --> 00:09:54,376
What the hell?
291
00:09:54,419 --> 00:09:55,595
Come on, Hetty!
292
00:09:55,638 --> 00:09:57,118
I fully endorse
your position,
293
00:09:57,161 --> 00:09:58,815
which is why you
should vote for me!
294
00:09:58,859 --> 00:10:01,513
Illegitimate though
that vote may be!
295
00:10:04,691 --> 00:10:06,518
Okay, so that
should be everything.
296
00:10:06,562 --> 00:10:09,086
I found an old canoe out
in the boathouse by the pond,
297
00:10:09,130 --> 00:10:11,436
and Jay has been practicing
with his arrow.
298
00:10:11,480 --> 00:10:13,830
And mead. Oh, need mead.
Watch you
299
00:10:13,874 --> 00:10:15,615
and small man
drink. Yes.
300
00:10:15,658 --> 00:10:17,442
We don't have any mead.
301
00:10:17,486 --> 00:10:20,532
No mead? So what
do you drink at your orgies?
302
00:10:20,576 --> 00:10:21,664
Bro,
303
00:10:21,708 --> 00:10:23,274
Viking life
sounds awesome.
304
00:10:23,318 --> 00:10:25,450
You know, I was wondering--
305
00:10:25,494 --> 00:10:27,452
if funerals are so important
in your culture,
306
00:10:27,496 --> 00:10:28,976
how come you never had one?
307
00:10:29,019 --> 00:10:31,108
Told you. Was...
308
00:10:31,152 --> 00:10:32,936
alone on a mission.
Yeah, I know.
309
00:10:32,980 --> 00:10:35,635
But-but when you didn't,
you know, return,
310
00:10:35,678 --> 00:10:37,680
could they
not find you or...
311
00:10:37,724 --> 00:10:39,160
Don't interrogate Thor!
312
00:10:39,203 --> 00:10:41,205
Less talk, more brew mead!
313
00:10:42,250 --> 00:10:43,686
What was that all about?
314
00:10:43,730 --> 00:10:45,253
Well, it's a
complicated time.
315
00:10:45,296 --> 00:10:46,384
There's obviously
a lot of emotion
316
00:10:46,428 --> 00:10:47,864
wrapped up with
this whole funeral.
317
00:10:47,908 --> 00:10:50,388
Plus, it's been a thousand
years since his last orgy.
318
00:10:51,433 --> 00:10:52,956
Big guy's a little pent-up.
319
00:10:55,263 --> 00:10:56,568
You got a sec?
320
00:10:56,612 --> 00:10:57,961
It's about your vote.
321
00:10:58,005 --> 00:10:59,484
Please not this again.
Just...
322
00:10:59,528 --> 00:11:01,965
let me say my piece.
323
00:11:02,009 --> 00:11:05,099
When you were alive,
women couldn't vote.
324
00:11:05,142 --> 00:11:06,927
And when I was alive,
we got the vote
325
00:11:06,970 --> 00:11:08,189
but they ain't
make it easy.
326
00:11:08,232 --> 00:11:09,973
And for people like me,
327
00:11:10,017 --> 00:11:12,236
it was still almost impossible,
328
00:11:12,280 --> 00:11:14,325
because the Man didn't want
to give up that power.
329
00:11:14,369 --> 00:11:18,721
Yeah, and the Man tried to make
us wear bras and shave our pits.
330
00:11:18,765 --> 00:11:21,158
Drop acid, not bombs!
331
00:11:23,683 --> 00:11:24,988
Okay.
332
00:11:25,032 --> 00:11:26,555
The point is...
333
00:11:28,209 --> 00:11:30,254
...too many people
worked too hard
334
00:11:30,298 --> 00:11:33,693
and sacrificed too much for
you to just throw this away.
335
00:11:35,390 --> 00:11:37,131
Alberta...
336
00:11:38,349 --> 00:11:39,829
...you have my vote.
337
00:11:39,873 --> 00:11:41,135
Oh! Yes!
338
00:11:41,178 --> 00:11:42,702
Oh, look at that.
339
00:11:42,745 --> 00:11:45,008
I used my female brain
to exercise my rights
340
00:11:45,052 --> 00:11:46,836
and I don't feel the vapors
coming on at all.
341
00:11:46,880 --> 00:11:48,533
Wait, hold on.
342
00:11:48,577 --> 00:11:50,013
No, I'm good.
343
00:11:50,057 --> 00:11:51,188
Hey.
Hey.
344
00:11:51,232 --> 00:11:52,712
Are we alone right now?
345
00:11:52,755 --> 00:11:54,539
Yes.
Okay. Check this out.
346
00:11:54,583 --> 00:11:56,846
Turns out Viking bones
are actually really rare
347
00:11:56,890 --> 00:11:58,587
and very valuable.
348
00:11:58,630 --> 00:11:59,893
Really?
Yeah.
349
00:11:59,936 --> 00:12:01,764
I called the Natural
History Museum in Albany,
350
00:12:01,808 --> 00:12:04,636
and they say that if the bones
are genuine, they'll buy them.
351
00:12:04,680 --> 00:12:06,290
Well, for how much?
Enough to pay
for the fountain
352
00:12:06,334 --> 00:12:08,118
and the roof.
353
00:12:08,162 --> 00:12:10,947
And extra money to put
a booth in the kitchen
354
00:12:10,991 --> 00:12:13,558
like Chip and Joanna did
in the last season.
355
00:12:13,602 --> 00:12:16,387
The Christmas episode? Empty
nesters looking to downsize?
356
00:12:16,431 --> 00:12:17,867
That's what I'm talking about,
baby.
Oh.
357
00:12:17,911 --> 00:12:20,130
But I already told Thorfinn.
358
00:12:20,174 --> 00:12:22,785
I know. And I wish
there was another way, but...
359
00:12:22,829 --> 00:12:24,744
we need the money.
360
00:12:24,787 --> 00:12:26,441
And as much
as it pains me to say,
361
00:12:26,484 --> 00:12:29,052
I think we got to sell
that big Viking's bones.
362
00:12:29,096 --> 00:12:30,401
Ugh.
363
00:12:30,445 --> 00:12:31,751
Okay, you're right.
364
00:12:33,317 --> 00:12:35,232
How you gonna
break it to him?
365
00:12:35,276 --> 00:12:37,234
Um, I will figure something out.
366
00:12:37,278 --> 00:12:39,280
This is gonna
be great for us.
367
00:12:39,323 --> 00:12:40,629
Ooh, I'm excited.
368
00:12:40,672 --> 00:12:42,674
Die, little man!
Please stop.
369
00:12:47,288 --> 00:12:48,637
So you're saying we get
to vote for this...
370
00:12:48,680 --> 00:12:50,204
ghost representative thing?
Mm-hmm.
371
00:12:50,247 --> 00:12:51,683
Oh, absolutely.
372
00:12:51,727 --> 00:12:54,121
You're no different than
those of us who live upstairs.
373
00:12:54,164 --> 00:12:56,558
Not too close,
my dear friend.
Wow.
374
00:12:56,601 --> 00:12:58,603
No one ever thinks of us.
Oh, but I do.
375
00:12:58,647 --> 00:12:59,648
I think of you.
376
00:12:59,691 --> 00:13:01,781
In fact, I will have
vivid memories
377
00:13:01,824 --> 00:13:05,349
of this conversation
for a long, long time.
378
00:13:05,393 --> 00:13:06,786
So, can I count on
your vote? Hmm?
379
00:13:06,829 --> 00:13:09,745
I promise, if elected,
your voice will be heard.
380
00:13:09,789 --> 00:13:10,790
So...
381
00:13:10,833 --> 00:13:12,095
Um, okay! You know what?
382
00:13:12,139 --> 00:13:13,618
Thank you so much
for your support!
383
00:13:13,662 --> 00:13:15,751
I am a man of the
people! Good day!
384
00:13:15,795 --> 00:13:17,535
Oh, my God.
385
00:13:18,580 --> 00:13:20,451
Hmm, look at the poor brute.
386
00:13:20,495 --> 00:13:22,105
This is all my fault.
387
00:13:22,149 --> 00:13:23,367
Don't worry. He'll get over it
in, like, 50 years.
388
00:13:23,411 --> 00:13:24,847
He might mention
a Norse curse,
389
00:13:24,891 --> 00:13:26,806
but we don't think that's real.
390
00:13:26,849 --> 00:13:28,111
I mean,
you know why we did it, right?
391
00:13:28,155 --> 00:13:29,896
It's not like Jay and I had
a choice, right?
392
00:13:29,939 --> 00:13:32,333
Sure, sure. Although part
of me did wonder if,
393
00:13:32,376 --> 00:13:34,161
in finally getting his funeral,
we might see the big oaf
394
00:13:34,204 --> 00:13:35,162
get sucked off.
395
00:13:35,205 --> 00:13:37,077
Excuse me?
Sometimes--
396
00:13:37,120 --> 00:13:39,949
very rare occasions--
when a ghost is able to resolve
397
00:13:39,993 --> 00:13:43,170
a long-standing issue,
the heavens open up and...
398
00:13:43,213 --> 00:13:44,345
whoosh,
399
00:13:44,388 --> 00:13:45,999
they get sucked off.
400
00:13:46,042 --> 00:13:47,652
Yeah, we all dream
of getting sucked off.
Mm-hmm.
401
00:13:47,696 --> 00:13:49,045
A-And that's the term
402
00:13:49,089 --> 00:13:50,655
that you guys decided...
403
00:13:50,699 --> 00:13:52,048
Don't tell them. Please?
404
00:13:52,092 --> 00:13:53,484
This is all I have.
405
00:13:53,528 --> 00:13:55,095
Let me get this straight.
406
00:13:55,138 --> 00:13:56,487
So, if we had
the funeral,
407
00:13:56,531 --> 00:13:58,315
there's a chance
that Thor might...
408
00:13:58,359 --> 00:13:59,316
go up?
409
00:13:59,360 --> 00:14:00,491
Get sucked off? Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm.
410
00:14:00,535 --> 00:14:02,493
But, again,
rarely happens.
411
00:14:02,537 --> 00:14:04,408
I've seen it maybe once.
But if it did,
412
00:14:04,452 --> 00:14:05,714
we'd never
see him again.
413
00:14:05,757 --> 00:14:07,368
Like... ever.
414
00:14:07,411 --> 00:14:08,717
He deserves it though.
415
00:14:08,760 --> 00:14:09,892
Would love to see the
big guy get sucked off.
416
00:14:09,936 --> 00:14:11,633
It would be lovely.
417
00:14:13,374 --> 00:14:14,854
Hey, Thor.
418
00:14:14,897 --> 00:14:16,768
We just came in to see
how you're doing.
419
00:14:16,812 --> 00:14:18,248
He grunted.
420
00:14:18,292 --> 00:14:20,207
Thor, I'm really sorry
about the funeral,
421
00:14:20,250 --> 00:14:22,992
but, listen, uh, we're kind of
stretched financially right now.
422
00:14:23,036 --> 00:14:24,689
We literally owe
423
00:14:24,733 --> 00:14:27,692
thousands of penningars.
424
00:14:27,736 --> 00:14:29,346
I looked up Viking money.
425
00:14:29,390 --> 00:14:31,000
Aw.
Do what you must.
426
00:14:31,044 --> 00:14:32,872
But know this:
427
00:14:32,915 --> 00:14:35,396
Jormungandr the Midgard Serpent
428
00:14:35,439 --> 00:14:37,528
will be visiting you
in your night sleeps,
429
00:14:37,572 --> 00:14:40,880
and your firstborn child
will have head of cabbage.
430
00:14:40,923 --> 00:14:42,533
Okay, are we good?
What's he saying?
431
00:14:42,577 --> 00:14:43,883
It's not great.
432
00:14:43,926 --> 00:14:45,362
Do you want to know
the real reason
433
00:14:45,406 --> 00:14:47,582
why I did not get
Viking funeral?
434
00:14:47,625 --> 00:14:50,193
Why shipmates
did not find Thorfinn?
435
00:14:50,237 --> 00:14:53,370
Thor never tell
anyone this.
436
00:14:53,414 --> 00:14:55,895
The reason why
I was wandering here alone
437
00:14:55,938 --> 00:14:58,985
was because...
438
00:14:59,028 --> 00:15:01,117
I was left behind.
439
00:15:01,161 --> 00:15:03,163
โช
440
00:15:18,395 --> 00:15:20,006
They...
441
00:15:20,049 --> 00:15:21,659
abandoned me.
442
00:15:21,703 --> 00:15:23,313
For reasons unknown.
443
00:15:23,357 --> 00:15:24,575
Oh, Thor.
444
00:15:24,619 --> 00:15:26,360
Sam,
you stay strong, woman.
445
00:15:28,231 --> 00:15:30,016
And now you...
446
00:15:30,059 --> 00:15:32,018
have abandoned me, too.
447
00:15:36,065 --> 00:15:37,980
His shipmates abandoned him.
448
00:15:38,024 --> 00:15:41,027
Jay, the ghosts told me
that if we help him,
449
00:15:41,070 --> 00:15:43,116
there's a small chance
he could get s--
450
00:15:43,159 --> 00:15:44,813
he could move on
to the afterlife.
451
00:15:44,856 --> 00:15:45,988
Oh.
452
00:15:46,032 --> 00:15:48,948
Sam,
we really need the money.
453
00:15:48,991 --> 00:15:51,385
Yes, we could use the money,
but we would survive without it.
454
00:15:51,428 --> 00:15:52,995
He's been here a thousand years.
455
00:15:53,039 --> 00:15:56,172
Look, I know he's a ghost.
But if we don't help him,
456
00:15:56,216 --> 00:15:58,653
aren't we the real monsters?
457
00:15:58,696 --> 00:16:00,394
Babe, that was so poetic.
458
00:16:00,437 --> 00:16:02,831
I know, right?
Oh, my-- Mmm.
459
00:16:02,874 --> 00:16:04,920
Oh... All right.
460
00:16:04,964 --> 00:16:06,922
Fine. Fine. Funeral's back on.
461
00:16:06,966 --> 00:16:08,445
Hey, Thor, buddy.
462
00:16:08,489 --> 00:16:09,620
Funeral's back on.
463
00:16:09,664 --> 00:16:11,057
Oh, no, he left the room.
464
00:16:11,100 --> 00:16:12,623
Okay. This is getting
really confusing.
465
00:16:12,667 --> 00:16:13,973
We got to work on this. Thor!
466
00:16:14,016 --> 00:16:16,018
Thor!
Thor! The funeral's on!
467
00:16:16,062 --> 00:16:17,019
Yes!
468
00:16:17,063 --> 00:16:18,978
By the fangs of Fenrir,
469
00:16:19,021 --> 00:16:20,066
I thank you.
470
00:16:20,109 --> 00:16:21,981
Is he happy?
471
00:16:22,024 --> 00:16:23,939
Yay!
472
00:16:23,983 --> 00:16:25,288
Oh, so about that curse...
473
00:16:25,332 --> 00:16:26,898
Can't be undone.
474
00:16:26,942 --> 00:16:28,204
Sorry.
475
00:16:28,248 --> 00:16:29,597
What curse?
476
00:16:29,640 --> 00:16:32,600
It gives me great pleasure
477
00:16:32,643 --> 00:16:35,298
to cast the
deciding vote for...
478
00:16:35,342 --> 00:16:36,343
Alberta!
479
00:16:37,648 --> 00:16:39,607
Who made me realize
that women should vote.
480
00:16:39,650 --> 00:16:41,826
Although I'm still against
them going to college.
481
00:16:41,870 --> 00:16:44,220
Baby steps. Isaac,
482
00:16:44,264 --> 00:16:45,656
you ran a
good campaign.
483
00:16:45,700 --> 00:16:47,136
Just not as good as mine.
484
00:16:47,180 --> 00:16:49,399
Point of order: I believe
485
00:16:49,443 --> 00:16:52,663
not all the votes
have been counted.
486
00:16:52,707 --> 00:16:54,839
Oh, God.You may have thought
487
00:16:54,883 --> 00:16:56,798
your upstairs votes
were all that mattered.
488
00:16:56,841 --> 00:16:58,278
But true democracy
489
00:16:58,321 --> 00:17:00,367
leaves
no one behind.
490
00:17:00,410 --> 00:17:02,151
And they stand with me.
491
00:17:02,195 --> 00:17:03,805
But not too close.
Not too close.
492
00:17:03,848 --> 00:17:05,894
Well, this seems
a little underhanded.
493
00:17:05,937 --> 00:17:07,983
Let the coronation proceed.
494
00:17:08,027 --> 00:17:09,637
Ooh. Yeah.
495
00:17:09,680 --> 00:17:12,074
We're all voting
for Creepy Dirk.
496
00:17:14,903 --> 00:17:16,557
But that would make him
the winner.
497
00:17:16,600 --> 00:17:18,298
So, uh,
498
00:17:18,341 --> 00:17:21,910
when do I get to talk
to the lady that smells good?
499
00:17:23,129 --> 00:17:24,434
Yeah, democracy
is broken.
500
00:17:24,478 --> 00:17:26,915
It's a flawed
system, everyone.
501
00:17:26,958 --> 00:17:29,222
All right. Now, remember,
just like we talked about.
Ooh!
502
00:17:29,265 --> 00:17:30,571
Keep your back straight.
Keep your back straight.
503
00:17:30,614 --> 00:17:32,355
Mm-hmm.
Now pull back slowly but evenly
504
00:17:32,399 --> 00:17:33,400
with the first...Now pull back...
505
00:17:33,443 --> 00:17:34,879
I would take
Pete's advice on this
506
00:17:34,923 --> 00:17:36,446
with a grain of salt.
507
00:17:36,490 --> 00:17:38,405
...of your index
and middle fingers.
508
00:17:43,671 --> 00:17:45,803
Bravo, bravo.
509
00:17:45,847 --> 00:17:47,979
Thor wants to thank
Samantha and small man
510
00:17:48,023 --> 00:17:50,373
for making
special day possible.
511
00:17:50,417 --> 00:17:52,419
Though I wish
you would have secured mead.
512
00:17:52,462 --> 00:17:54,203
But we'll let that go.
513
00:17:54,247 --> 00:17:55,857
You're welcome, Thor.
Mm-hmm.
514
00:17:58,251 --> 00:17:59,904
Sometimes you meet a bro
515
00:17:59,948 --> 00:18:01,732
and you're like,
"This is a bro..."
516
00:18:01,776 --> 00:18:03,212
I just wanted to say that,
517
00:18:03,256 --> 00:18:05,388
even though neither of us
won the election,
518
00:18:05,432 --> 00:18:06,694
you have won my respect.
519
00:18:06,737 --> 00:18:08,217
Where is this going?
520
00:18:08,261 --> 00:18:09,740
I resorted to
dirty tricks,
521
00:18:09,784 --> 00:18:11,916
and you, you
inspired people.
522
00:18:11,960 --> 00:18:13,918
That's the mark of a
truly talented politician.
523
00:18:13,962 --> 00:18:16,878
Well, you know, I do have
that star quality.
524
00:18:16,921 --> 00:18:18,923
Oh, I didn't mean to imply
that you don't.
525
00:18:18,967 --> 00:18:20,838
No, it's a fair
critique.
526
00:18:20,882 --> 00:18:22,405
I was never the type
the commoners liked
527
00:18:22,449 --> 00:18:24,103
to have an ale with.
528
00:18:24,146 --> 00:18:26,235
Those dirty, filthy,
ignorant commoners.
529
00:18:26,279 --> 00:18:27,932
Hard to see why
they didn't like you.
530
00:18:27,976 --> 00:18:30,848
Agreed. It's a
mystery.
531
00:18:30,892 --> 00:18:33,329
Now is typically time
when we have orgy. But...
532
00:18:33,373 --> 00:18:35,462
orgy without mead is...
533
00:18:35,505 --> 00:18:36,724
very awkward.
534
00:18:37,986 --> 00:18:39,901
โช
535
00:18:39,944 --> 00:18:41,555
Oh! It's happening!
536
00:18:41,598 --> 00:18:43,992
He is getting sucked off!
537
00:18:44,035 --> 00:18:46,864
By the eye of the All-father!
538
00:18:46,908 --> 00:18:48,301
Valhalla!
539
00:18:48,344 --> 00:18:49,302
Wait!
540
00:18:51,260 --> 00:18:52,479
Thorfinn, I love you.
541
00:18:52,522 --> 00:18:53,958
Oh.
542
00:18:54,002 --> 00:18:55,308
I've always loved you.
543
00:18:55,351 --> 00:18:57,266
Why you wait till now
to say this?
544
00:18:57,310 --> 00:18:58,833
So many years wasted!
545
00:19:00,269 --> 00:19:02,967
Please extinguish the fire
in the middle of the pond!
546
00:19:03,011 --> 00:19:04,665
You do not have a permit.
547
00:19:04,708 --> 00:19:08,147
Sorry!Yeah, I'll take care of it
right now! Thank you!
548
00:19:08,190 --> 00:19:09,887
Uh...
549
00:19:12,107 --> 00:19:15,502
So, now seems like
we have second chance.
550
00:19:15,545 --> 00:19:18,635
You know, I think I kind of
got caught up in the moment.
551
00:19:18,679 --> 00:19:20,376
Yeah. Just...
552
00:19:20,420 --> 00:19:22,204
And I-I don't really
want to be tied down.
553
00:19:22,248 --> 00:19:24,467
Moving on!
Yeah.
554
00:19:24,511 --> 00:19:26,121
Not in love.
Cool, cool.
555
00:19:26,165 --> 00:19:29,037
Thank you for doing all this.
It really meant a lot to him.
556
00:19:29,080 --> 00:19:32,345
I'm glad. And, um, don't worry
about the house and everything.
557
00:19:32,388 --> 00:19:36,044
We got a lot to fix up,
but we'll figure it out.
558
00:19:36,087 --> 00:19:37,480
Custom booth
would've been nice.
559
00:19:37,524 --> 00:19:39,482
It would've been
a game changer.
560
00:19:39,526 --> 00:19:42,311
But I got to say,
watching my man fire that arrow,
561
00:19:42,355 --> 00:19:43,660
pretty hot.
562
00:19:43,704 --> 00:19:45,358
Indeed.
563
00:19:45,401 --> 00:19:46,402
The fire.
564
00:19:46,446 --> 00:19:48,012
The fire is what's hot.
565
00:19:48,056 --> 00:19:50,798
As fire is.
And no one can argue with that.
566
00:19:50,841 --> 00:19:52,452
So...
567
00:19:52,495 --> 00:19:54,280
How are you, big guy?
568
00:19:54,323 --> 00:19:56,151
I am happy.
569
00:19:56,195 --> 00:19:58,762
It was not time for Thor
to be sucked off.
570
00:19:59,850 --> 00:20:02,505
Shipmates may have abandoned
Thor, but...
571
00:20:02,549 --> 00:20:04,507
you did not.
572
00:20:04,551 --> 00:20:06,379
And that goes
for all of you!
573
00:20:06,422 --> 00:20:09,033
You have
never abandoned me.
574
00:20:09,077 --> 00:20:10,339
And for that,
575
00:20:10,383 --> 00:20:12,254
I am thankful!
576
00:20:12,298 --> 00:20:14,430
Thank you.
How could we abandon him?
577
00:20:14,474 --> 00:20:15,692
We literally
can't leave.
578
00:20:15,736 --> 00:20:17,738
Shh. Just let him
have this.
579
00:20:17,781 --> 00:20:19,130
Okay.
580
00:20:19,174 --> 00:20:20,436
We would never leave you.
Rejoice!
581
00:20:20,480 --> 00:20:22,482
โช
582
00:20:29,140 --> 00:20:30,272
So we'll meet down here
once a week to
583
00:20:30,316 --> 00:20:33,275
go over the
ghost requests.
584
00:20:33,319 --> 00:20:34,581
Uh-huh.
First request--
585
00:20:34,624 --> 00:20:36,017
this comes
from Stuart--
586
00:20:36,060 --> 00:20:38,933
do you mind if
he smells you?
587
00:20:38,976 --> 00:20:40,543
Nope, not doing this.
Sorry, guys.
588
00:20:40,587 --> 00:20:42,241
Aw...
589
00:20:46,810 --> 00:20:48,247
Captioning sponsored by
CBS
590
00:20:49,900 --> 00:20:50,814
Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH
access.wgbh.org
41462
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.