All language subtitles for The Nanny SE02 E17

FRAN:
So, Gracie, are you excited

about your play date
with Willie?

I think Willie just wants me
for my toys.

Oh, sweetie, you might as well
get used to it.

You're gonna be guarding your
toys for the rest of your life.

Well, we're off.

First game of the
Broadway Show League.

Oh, Mr. Sheffield,
don't you look adorable.

Gee, I don't think I've ever
seen you in jeans before.

Oh.
Wait a minute.

Turn around.
I think you got a rip.

No, no.
Looking good.

Let's get going, Dad.
I wanna warm up
before we play.

Oh, what's your rush?
I've been to those games.

Whose idea was it
to have Nell Carter

try and beat out a bunt?

[LAUGHS]

Fran, we're playing against
Children of a Lesser God.

Their hand signals are awesome.

So's the guy on first base.
Oh.

Oh, give it up, Maggie.
They're deaf, not blind.

Here, what's this
hand signal mean?

Ouch!

Well, Brighton's playing sports.

I accept tips.
[SIGHS]

Please, the only reason
he's on the team

is a chance of seeing
Margaret trying to run.

Oh, now, don't you
go making fun.

I've seen you break into a trot.

You got a littleNutty Professor
thing happening yourself.

[CLEARS THROAT]
Yes, well, all right.
Time to play ball.

Bye, sweetheart.
Have fun--

Oh, you're talking to Grace.

Master Willie is here
with his nanny.

Oh, now, honey,
you go make an entrance,

and check yourself
like I taught ya.

[SNIFFS]

I'm fine.

Miss Fine, you might
want to get dressed

for this particular
nanny.

Oh, why? What,
is she all snazzed up?

One of those
Park Avenue nannies

withway
on her hands?

Oh, look,Planet of the Apes
is on at 4:00.

Hi, I'm Kurt,
Willie's nanny.

Oh, hi, I'm Fran.
How you doin'?

Good. Okay if
I use the phone?

Oh, yeah, sure.
Just pick up line two.

I'm on line one
with my mother.

Ah.

Uh-huh.

What are you doing?

Oh, I thought there might be
something wrong with your eyes.

A handsome man just walked
through the door,

and you didn't do your usual,
subtle Hanna-Barbera reaction.

Heart pounding
through your thorax,

tongue unfurling
and landing on the floor.

Niles, please.
The man's gay.

Now, how do you know that?

You barely spoke two words
to each other.

Oh, well, first of all,

I was instantly
attracted to him,

which means he's
definitely unavailable.

Plus, did you see
that upper body?

Trust me, he's either gay
or a priest with a Soloflex.

Miss Fine, you're mad.
- Oh, yeah?

All right, well, watch this,
Mr. Know-It-All.

Kurt, who understudied
Carol Channing inDolly?

KURT:
Jo Anne Worley.

Hello.

[THEME MUSIC PLAYS]

♪ She was workin'
In a bridal shop ♪

♪ In Flushing, Queens ♪

♪ Till her boyfriend
Kicked her out ♪

♪ In one of those
Crushing scenes ♪

♪ What was she to do?
Where was she to go? ♪

♪ She was out on her fanny ♪

♪ So over the bridge
From Flushing ♪

♪ To the Sheffields' door ♪

♪ She was there to sell makeup
But the father saw more ♪

♪ She had style, she had flair
She was there ♪

♪ That's how she became
The nanny ♪

♪ Who would have guessed
That the girl we described ♪

♪ Was just exactly what
The doctor prescribed? ♪

♪ Now the father
Finds her beguiling ♪

♪ Watch out, C.C. ♪

♪ And the kids
Are actually smiling ♪

♪ Such joie de vivre ♪

♪ She's the lady in red ♪

♪ When everybody else
Is wearing tan ♪

♪ The flashy girl
From Flushing ♪

♪ The nanny named Fran ♪

I can never get Willie to
take a nap. You're
amazing.

I'm telling you,
turkey makes you tired.

Why do you think they serve it
at Thanksgiving?

How else can you spend eight
hours with your entire family

unless half of them
pass out?

Oh, what I wouldn't give
for Jimmy Smits' body.

Hey, you and me both.

Meanwhile,
I watch and watch.

The only one taking a shower
is Dennis Franz.

Can you believe David Caruso
left that show?

Oh, actors, huh?

I'm an actor.

Smart, very smart.

Is it okay if I use
the phone again?

My agent asked me
to call him.

Absolutely.
Maybe you got a job.

Nah, he's just a sadist.

But, then, I'm addicted
to rejection,

so we both get a kick.
It's...

[LAUGHS]

Oh, look who's home.
How'd the game go?

Oh, it depends if you're
on our team or theirs.

Maxwell,
it wasn't my fault.

I couldn't understand
your signals.

C.C., how many things
can this mean?

Run!

Next time, try yelling,
"Last call."

Oh, Niles.

Dear, sweet,

"I manage your pension plan"
Niles.

May I get you some tea?

You know, I don't
mind
that we lost.

I mean, at least
I made it to first
base.

You never even made it
out of the dugout.

I know.

Oh, Mr. Sheffield,
Mr. Sheffield, wait a minute.

I think you got
some grass stains there.

No, no.
Looking good.

Oh, Mr. Sheffield.
Kurt Jacobs.

I was the understudy
in your production ofEquus.

Oh, Kurt.
Yes, of course.

Didn't recognize you
without the big horse head.

[CHUCKLES]

Hello, Kurt.

Remember me?
C.C. Babcock.

No.

I'm the producer
who hired you?

Oh, right,
right, right!

You, uh--
You cut your hair.

Hey, it looks really fabulous--
- Knock it off, Kurt.

So how are you?
Are you working?

Yes. I'm a nanny.

Oh, how awful for you.

[CHUCKLING]
Oh.

Oh, for a minute there,

I almost took that
the wrong way.

So, Kurt, you're a nanny, huh?

Well, that's wonderful.

You know, children are
our greatest resource.

MAGGIE: Daddy!
- Not now, Margaret.
I'm talking to our guest.

Well, it's been
nice talking to you.

So come on, you wanna watch
a littleAll My Children?

Gee, I hope it was okay to
tape
it over this movie tape.

"Brighton Learns to Walk."

Isn't that funny?

I never even heard
that name, Brighton,

until I started working--
[GASPS]

Hey, look who's up.

Wow, you guys really nodded off.

Can we go see
The Lion King

Oh, I'm sorry,
sweetie.

You're a little late.

The two of you slept
right through the last show.

Besides, I gothakunas
coming out of mymatatas.

It's only playing
at one theater?

Yes. All the parents
got together and insisted.

Well, come on.
Don't go anywhere.

We're gonna watch
All My Children.

Hey, listen, I haven't seen
this soap in seven months.

Catch me up.

Well, they're still
at Erica's party...

and the new guy slept
with what's-her-face's
sister.

P.S., she's late,
which means she's pregnant.

Did you hear what they said?

What?

I was late forThe Lion King
because we slept together.

So?

So?
P.S., I'm pregnant!

I'd better get a job.

Miss Fine not back yet?

Oh, no, sir, she and Kurt
went to the movies

and then for cappuccinos
in Greenwich Village.

You think they might
have got lost?

Oh, no, sir.

I think Kurt knows his way
around cappuccino country.

[LAUGHING]

Oh, Kurt, stop it.
I can't laugh anymore.

Oh, he does Meryl Streep
inOut of Africa.

It's to die for.
Do it.

"I had a farm inArfrica--"
Well, he does it better.

Fran, I think Mr. Sheffield
has already seen me overact.

[CHUCKLES]

I guess I could do it
for you if you want...

But I won't.

Meet you upstairs, Fran.

Okay. I'll be up
in a few minutes.

Kurt's gonna help me decide
what clothes to return.

Visa raised my limit.
Well, I showed them.

I hope you don't mind.

I know your rule about
men in my room.

Oh, well, Miss Fine, it's
a little different with Kurt.

He's more like your friend, Val,
only with five o'clock shadow.

[LAUGHS] You've
never seen Val at 5:00.

Oh, I'll tell you,

it is just so easy
being with Kurt.

I mean,
I don't have to act

like I give a damn
about the Super Bowl,

and wherever we go,
we go Dutch treat.

Although that part
I could live without.

But on the upside, I can eat
a side of beef in front of him

and belch up a hoof.

Wanna hand me a plate?
Oh.

Well, I think you two
are ideally suited.

You're both charming,
outgoing people,

terrifically preoccupied
with your appearance.

Oh, I know, I know.

We both just get right down
to what's important.

I'll tell you,
if he was straight,

I'd bring him home
to my mother.

There's something I'm sure
he can be grateful for.

[SIGHS] Oh, I'll tell you,
it's just the story of my life.

I mean, we can have such
a beautiful future together.

We both want the same things.

Except one.

No, actually, we both
want that thing too.

Well, I know this one's
going back.

Wait a second.
Didn't you wear that
yesterday?

Yeah, but I
didn't
break a sweat.

So tell me, is your mother
a natural blond too?

Uh...yeah.

Fran, look at this.
I gotta shave again.

I'm telling you something,
you women have it easy.

Oh, honey, talk to me when
you've got a tongue depressor

full of hot beeswax
coming at your bikini line.

Ta-da.

Oh, now, this is fabulous.

Yeah? Zip me up.

Lots of easy access too.

Oh, good.

And I wasn't sure if the
message
would get across.

This shows off all
my most sensitive areas.

Here, here, here, here--

Well, almost all
my most sensitive areas.

[BOTH GIGGLE]

Hey... remember those puzzles

where you had to
connect the dots?

Yeah, yeah.
Oh, oh...

Oh, stop it, Kurt.
I'm very ticklish. [GIGGLES]

Sort of like
those collage boards

where you had to
fill in the dots.

Kurt...
Mm-hm?

What's tiramisu?

I have no idea.

Oh, my God!
You're not gay?!

You're straight?
What?

Oh, I can't believe this!

Oh, this dress is going back.

It's too slutty,
even for me.

When did you find out
you were straight?

And does your mother know?

What'd she do?
Dress you in boys' clothes?

Fran, come out of the closet.

No. You go back
into the closet.

I cannot believe I told you
what I do for yeast infections.

I poured Correctol
in front of you.

[SCREAMS]

You saw me
without makeup on!

Fran, look, if you liked me
when you thought I was gay...

Huh?
...you're gonna love me now.

Come on, Fran.
- Huh?

Don't you feel
the same way I do?

[MUMBLES]

Well, goodnight
Miss Fi--

Miss Fine!

Oh! Uh...
- Mr. Sheffield! Uh...

I'm really sorry,
Mr. Sheffield.

Boy, this is incredibly
embarrassing.

Look, Kurt, you have
absolutely nothing

to feel embarrassed about.

Miss Fine, will you leave
this poor man alone.

What?!

I'm so sorry
about this, Kurt.

Oh, you must be
feeling terrible.

Oh, my God, she's got
lipstick all over you.

He might have
a significant other.

Did you ever stop
to think of that?

Kurt, you better go.

Mr. Sheffield's gonna hurt
himself jumping to conclusions.

I'll call you tomorrow,
Fran.

Okay.

What was that?

Wh-wh-what was that thing
that just happened there?

Well, I got a news flash
for you.

Kurt is a flaming heterosexual.

Not a bad little kisser,
either.

All right.

While you're here, tell me,
should I take this back?

Uh, I think
you should put it on.

No. I already had it on.
It flattens out my b--

Oh!
Mr. Sheffield!

Why didn't you say anything?

Well, I--
I didn't notice.

You didn't-- You know,
I'm beginning to wonder
about you too.

Oh! Oh, I can't get it on.
I'm stuck.

Help me, help me!

Relax, Miss Fine,
we'll get it on.

FRAN:
Don't rip it.

Oh, Mr. Sheffield,
I'm so hot.

I can't do this standing up.

Just--
Just get on the bed.

[GRUNTS]

If you let me tell
Miss Babcock about this,

I'll work free
for a year.

I brought you some pickles
and ice cream.

I'm so nauseous,
and my ankles are swollen.

I hate you!
You

I know.
I just wish I knew how.

I'm just so worried.

Are we doing
the right thing,

bringing a child
into this world?

Boy, could those kids
play house or what?

Ah-ha. Just as I thought.

Kurt's teeth are capped.

What?

No-- I'm not making it up.

Look, look, you can see
the little ridges.

See? Huh?
Huh? Huh?

Maxwell, what is
wrong with you today?

If you're not gonna pay
any attention to me,

I might as well
just go home.

[WHISTLES]
Taxi!

I have three words for you -
Orange County Bonds.

Mr. Sheffield, I got a couple
of things to talk to you about.

Number one, do not use
the downstairs bathroom.

Number two?

Exactly.

[MAXWELL CLEARS THROAT]
Thank you, Miss Fine.

You know, I've just been
going
through Kurt's résumé.

Oh, are you thinking
of giving him a job?

Well, yes.

Uh, let's see what
he's suited for, hm?

"Man in crowd, man at stadium,
man in parade."

Well, he was inForrest Gump.

Oh, yes. There it is.
"Man at rally."

That was him?

Well, aren't you a laugh riot.

What have you got?
Buddy and Sally under the desk?

Meanwhile, your son wants to
talk to you. Go ahead, honey.

Um, Dad, I know you wanna get me
into sports and everything,

but why do you always do shows
with old ladies?

Well, excuse me, but
most people'd be honored

to be on a team with
Katherine Hepburn.

Well, yeah, but did you
have to make her catcher?

[IMITATING KATHERINE HEPBURN]
Put it there. Put it there.

I mean, how do
you pitch to that?

Well, I guess
I'm gonna go upstairs

and get ready
for my date with Kurt.

C.C.:
Nanny Fine.

Trying to pass off
Kurt as a date.

How pathetic.

This from a woman who went
to Cancun with a crash dummy.

Oh, haven't you heard,
C.C.?

It appears our Kurt is straight.

[LAUGHS]

Oh, that's impossible.

We worked together
for several months.

There was absolutely
no sexual tension.

Well, duh.

[CHUCKLES]

Well, I couldn't be happier

that Nanny Fine
finally found a man.

And what are you
looking so smug about?

Oh, just an incident in
Miss Fine's room last night.

With her and Kurt?

Uh, no, with her
and another man.

Oh, I love it.
Tell me! Tell me!

Oh, no, I couldn't possibly.

I swore I wouldn't say a
word.
Read this.

Why?!

I wanna die!

There, there.

Now, don't do anything rash.

Good night, C.C.

You animal!

Niles?

Sir?

Did you say anything to
Miss Babcock about last night?

No. You told me not to.

Good.

Niles, do you--?

Do you think I've been a
little
too rough on Miss Fine?

Well, she seemed
to enjoy it, sir.

I'm not talking about
last night.

Oh, Niles, I don't know.

It's this thing
with her and Kurt.

Why is it gnawing
at me like this?

Well, perhaps you feel that
he's not the right man for
her,

that she'd be happier
with someone else.

No, that's absurd.

They're perfectly suited
to each other.

So why do I find it
so bloody irritating?

Oh, dear, that was
the last apple.

Oh, I'm sorry, old man.
Did you want it?

Uh, well, yes, sir,
but I didn't realize I wanted
it

until someone else had sunk
his teeth into it,

and now it's too late.

Oh, God, it was right there
in front of me.

If only I'd snatched it up
when I had the chance,

I wouldn't have
this aching hunger.

Good God, man,
have a bloody pear.

Hi, Niles.

Miss Fine.

Going out with Kurt?

Mm, I guess so.

Well, you don't seem
very excited.

Oh, I know. I should be
nuts about the guy.

I mean, he knows
everything about me,

and he's still interested.

[CHUCKLES]

[SIGHS] I don't know.
Maybe that's it.

There's no mystery.

It's like when you watch
Columbo.

Ten minutes into it,
you know who did it.

Then you spend the rest
of the hour trying to figure
out

which one is the glass eye.

Oh, Niles,
what's wrong with me?

Oh, dear, that was
the last pear.

Oh, I'm sorry.
Did you want it?

Well, yes, but I didn't
realize I wanted it

until someone else
had sunk his teeth into it.

Well, you snooze,
you lose.

Hey, kids, what are you two
still doing up?

Niles was supposed to put you
to bed an hour ago.

[SNORING]

Niles!
Huh?

Oh. This is not my fault.
Yeah.

They gave me turkey.

Good night.
Good night.

Nine minus seven?

Uh, two.

Well, what are you doing?

I'm timing her subtractions.

Three seconds.

It's time!

WILLIE:
Oh, no.

We can't have the baby now.

I don't know
how to get to the hospital.

Hold it.
Honey, honey, calm down.

Gracie, you're not really
having a baby, honey.

But you said when two people
sleep together

and the girl is late--

Well, I was late
forThe Lion King.

Oy,
were listening to?

"Don't put peas up your nose,"
I have to say nine times.

Sweetie, you are
definitely not pregnant.

And if you were, we would call
in Geraldo immediately.

I'm not?
No.

[SIGHS]
Thank God.

I'd like to get a figure
before I lose it.

[LAUGHS]

Come on, you two.
It's time for bed.

Boy, you two are just so cute.

You go upstairs
and have sweet dreams.

Uh, Willie, you sleep
in Brighton's room.

Oh, Miss Fine.
Good, you're home.

Hi.
I, uh...

I-I wanted to apologize
for the way I behaved

about you and Kurt.

Oh, well, you know, if I didn't
know any better,

I would think that
you were jealous.

[BOTH LAUGH]

[LAUGHING]
Oh, please, Miss--

Miss Fine.

No, I, uh-- I was just
concerned
about the children.

I thought maybe they'd get
attached to Kurt,

and then when you break up,
they'd be upset.

Well, why are you so quick
to saywhen

How come you assume
my relationships won't work out?

Well, how's it going?
It didn't work out.

Oh.

Did you part amicably?

No, not at all.

It was very friendly.

Well, don't worry,
Miss Fine.

If it isn't Kurt,
it-- it'll be someone else.

Hm.
- Good night, Miss Fine.

Good night,
Mr. Sheffield.

You know, I'm not asking
for much, really.

I just want someone that's
goin'
in the same direction as me.

I know exactly
what you mean.

Oh, Miss Fine...
What?

I think you sat
in something.
Hm?

Nope, looking good.

Really, Ma?

Uh-huh.