Original subtitles

And welcome to Play of the Week, where each week a new play

is performed live in front of a studio audience

and broadcast to the nation.

I am Robert Grove, the director.

Now, last Christmas we presented The Nativity Story, which received

so many complaints I was able to launch a successful coup

and dislodge our previous director Chris Bean from his post.

In fact that reminds me, Chris...

..here are the rewites.

Chris Bean, everyone.

I know, I know.

Now, when Chris directed our productions they did

sometimes contain errors, in fact the opening

scene of the Nativity contained 27 mistakes alone.

But for tonight's epic family saga I can confidently announce

there will be no more errors, no mishaps.

Tonight everything will be "perfrect".

"Perfrect?"

Perfect.

Sorry, that was an error, there'll be no more errors.

That didn't happen.

Reset your minds, we'll go again.

Tonight everything will be perfect.

The actors are prepared, the stage is set.

Please enjoy: Summer Once Again.

Where the table?

Oh, I feel I have lived through this moment so many times before.

So often have I dreamt of Roger's return to Northwood Manor.

They say war changes a man, sister.

Do you think I will recognise him, Edward?

He's Roger.

Of course you'll recognise your son.

For years you have hoped he will come home hard.

Hoped hard he will come home.

Hard.

Stop saying hard.

You are a pure and pious man, brother.

Jacob, hurry along, make sure there's enough wood on the fire.

Yes, ma'am!

Careful not to work the boy too...

Hard. Nonsense.

We need all the wood we can get.

Oh, there's hardly any heat coming off this at all!

Let me check to see if the cake is ready.

Mrs Wimblegate!

Ooh!

We are almost ready, ma'am.

Margaret!

Yes, ma'am.

Hurry and get that tea on the stove, girl.

Sorry, Mrs Wimblegate.

Lemme help you, Miss Margaret.

You do look a picture today.

Thank you.

Everything must be just so for Roger's arrival.

Cough!

Oh, don't say coughs, just cough!

Your goulashes.

Thank you.

Now, Dr Smith insists you eat every mouthful of your food brother.

This beef is as tough as old boots!

CAR HORN SOUNDS.

Oh, it must be Roger!

Already?

And here's me with my hair all a mess.

Mrs Wimblegate, where are my rain boots?

Your galoshes.

Thank you.

Oh, Roger and I will want to take a walk around the grounds.

It's just like we used to.

CAR HORN SOUNDS.

Roger!

Mother, I have returned!

Bravo!

Hey.

You were a boy when you left, but now I see a man before me.

It's good to see you, Mother.

I've missed you all so very much.

Except for that manure boy.

Aah, there he is!

I'm sorry about my appearance, sir.

Yes, well, it is foul.

Take my bag inside, you peasant.

Welcome back, young sir.

I heard tales of your great skill.

You are revolting.

Well, if that's all sir, I must be going.

This manure won't eat itself.

Be gone.

There, all finished.

Salutations Uncle.

Aah!

My favourite nephew.

But how pale you look!

He fell yesterday walking Monty.

Aah, hello Monty!

He needs a second helping to get his strength up.

The cake, ma'am.

Sit, Roger, we must celebrate your safe return.

Thank you, Mother.

Oh, Mrs Wimblegate, this looks exquisite.

There, second helping finished.

Now no more.

You're not finished until you've had a big mouthful of cake.

Well, I do love cake.

Open wide!

Aah...

Mm...

Mother, tell me, where is my fiancee?

Where is...

Susan.

I was pausing.

Where's Susan?

Susan?

Edward, will you give us a reading from the Bible?

"Summer Once Again.

"Robert Grove rehearsal diary - the cast are terrible..."

Forever and ever.

Amen.

Mother, I will not be distracted!

Where is Susan?

Oh, Roger.

I think you'd better speak to Dr Smith.

For God's sake!

That's 28 mistakes.

Right...

WHISTLE.

We'll go again.

What?

Go again!

From the top?

Yep, none of that happened.

Yes, it did.

Nope, reset.

We can't go back!

I'm the director!

We'll go again.

That's ridiculous!

Reset the car!

My apologies, ladies and gentlemen...

It's not a real car!

My apologies, ladies and gentlemen, but I'm sure you'll all agree that

scene was not perfect.

Particularly Chris's performance.

So we're going to go back from the top.

Although we will have to get a move on.

Is everyone ready?

"Prefrect."

Perfect.

The stage is set.

The actors are "preprared".

Prepared.

Sorry, I'm under a lot of "pessure".

Pressure.

Please enjoy, Summer Once Again...

Again.

WHISTLE.

Where are the actors?!

I feel I have lived through this moment so many times before.

So often have I dreamt of Roger's return to Northwood Manor.

They say war changes a man, sister.

Do you think I will recognise him, Edward?

He's Roger, of course you'll recognise your son.

For years you have hoped...

Hard.

He will come home hard.

You are a pure and pious man, brother.

Jacob, hurry along, make sure there's enough wood for the fire.

Yes, ma'am.

Careful not to get the boy too hard.

Nonsense!

We need all the wood we can get, there's hardly any heat

coming off this at all.

Argh...

That's hot!

I'll just check to see if the cake is ready.

Mrs Wimblegate!

We're almost ready, ma'am.

Margaret!

Yes, ma'am!

Hurry and get that tea on the stove, girl.

Sorry, Mrs Wimblegate.

Lemme help you, Miss Margaret.

No, no...

Argh!

Oh, oh, oh, oh...

Argh!

You do look a picture today.

Thank you.

Everything must be just so for Roger's arrival.

Don't say coughs this time!

Agh!

Your goulashes.

Thank you.

Now, Dr Smith insists you eat every mouthful of your food, brother.

This beef is as tough as old boots.

CAR HORN.

GASPS.

Oh, it must be Roger!

Already, and here's me with my hair all a mess.

Mrs Wimblegate, where are my rain boots?

Your galoshes.

Thank you.

Roger and I will...

..will want to walk...

STRAINED: ..want to take a walk around the grounds.

Just like we used to...

STRAINED: Roger!

Mother, I have returned!

Bravo!

Thank you.

You were a boy when you left, but now I...

now...

Ooh...

Now I see a man before me.

It's good to see you, Mother.

I've missed you all so very much, except for that ugly,

destitute and syphilitic manure boy.

Aah, there he is.

I am sorry about my appearance...

and smell.

And?

Small manhood.

Which?

I oft expose in the town.

Yeah!

So you should be. Take my bag inside, you peasant.

Welcome back, young sir.

I...

Ah manure boy, you're so weak.

What have you put in there?

Nothing. You're just weak.

Well, if that's all sir I must be going.

This manure won't eat itself.

Before you go, do tell me one more thing.

I have a bowel condition.

Yes, you do, probably from eating all that manure.

Be gone.

That scene is really working now.

Salutations, Uncle.

Ah, my favourite nephew.

But how pale you look!

He fell yesterday walking Monty.

Aah, hello Monty.

He needs a second helping to help get his strength up.

Whoa...

The cake, ma'am.

Come, sit Roger, we must celebrate your safe return.

Thank you, Mother.

Oh, Mrs Wimblegate this looks exquisite.

Ma'am.

There, second helping finished.

Now no more!

You're not finished until you've had a big mouthful of cake.

Well, I do love cake.

Open wide!

Aaah...

Mm...

Mother tell me, where is my fiancee?

Where is...

Sorry, is it my line?

No, I'm pausing!

I'm pau...

Where's Susan?

Susan...

Edward, will you give us a reading?

Ahem...

"Rehearsals day seven.

The play is not improving.

Maybe mother was right, maybe I am all talk and no trousers."

Forever and ever.

Amen.

All right, stop there!

And again from the top.

WHISTLE.

No, no, we'll go again!

I'm so sorry, ladies and gentlemen.

None of that happened.

Reset your minds and please enjoy Summer Once Again.

Again.

Again.

BLOWS WHISTLE.

Oh, for goodness' sake!

WHISTLE

I feel I have lived through this moment so many times before.

So often have I dreamt of Roger's return to Northwood Manor.

They say war changes a man, sister.

Do you think I'll recognise him, Edward?

He's recognise of course you'll Roger your son.

For years you have hoped hard he will come home...

Not hard.

You are a pure and pious man, brother.

CAR HORN

Three pages early!

Jacob, hurry along, make sure there's enough wood on the fire.

Yes ma'am.

AUDIENCE LAUGHS AND APPLAUDS

Careful not to work the work too work.

ROBERT'S WHISTLE.

Careful not to hard the work too hard.

ROBERT'S WHISTLE.

Careful not to get the two workmen too hard.

Nonsense!

We need all the wood we can get.

There's hardly any heat...

..coming off this at all.

Argh...

I'll just, ah, check to see if the cake is ready.

Mrs Wimblegate!

We're almost ready, ma'am.

Margaret!

Ooh!

Yes ma'am!

Hurry and get that tea on the stove, girl.

Sorry, Mrs Wimblegate.

Let me help you, Miss Margaret.

You do look a picture today.

Thank you.

Argh!

Er...

Everything must be just so for Roger's arrival.

If you say "Coughs" this time, I'll hit you.

Ooh!

Your goulashes.

Thank you.

Now, Dr Smith insists you eat every mouthful of your food, brother.

This beef is tough as old boots.

CAR HORN

Oh, it must be Roger.

Already?

And here's me with my hair all a mess.

Mrs Wimblegate, where are my rain boots?

Your galoshes.

Thank you.

Oh, I see what I've done.

Roger!

She

Ugh!

Mother!

I have returned...

Bravo!

Not yet!

Mother, I have returned...

RECORDING: Braaa...v..v..v..v..v..voooo!

Voooo!

Vooo...

Turn it off!

Argh!

Ugh!

You were a boy when you left, but now I...

..see a man before me.

It's good to see you, Mother.

I've missed you all so very much, except for that manure boy.

Ah there he is.

Ah, there he is.

I am sorry about my appearance, sir.

Take my bag inside.

Argh!

Well, if that's all, sir, I must be going...

..but it looks as though someone has beaten me to my supper this evening.

Be gone!

There, all finished.

Salutations, Uncle.

Ah, my favourite nephew!

But how pale you look.

He fell yesterday walking Monty.

Aah...

Hello, Mont...

He needs a second helping to get his strength up.

The cake, ma'am.

Come sit, Roger, we must celebrate your safe return.

Thank you, Mother.

Ah, Mrs Wimblegate.

This looks exquisite.

Ma'am...

Well, second helping finished.

Now no more.

You're not finished until you've had a big mouthful of cake.

Well, I do love cake.

Open wide!

Ugh...

Mother...

Mother, tell me, where is my fiancee?

Where is...

What was her name?

Susan!

Susan.

Forgettable name.

Susan.

Ah...

Edward, will you give us a reading?

"Lost my notebook. Making do with Dennis' prop Bible.

Heard back from Dench. Unavailable.

Annie remains.

Last night was a night to remember.

Another spanking from mother..."

Right, that was worse, but we have to move on -

we have six minutes to finish the whole play.

In all my years as a physician...

No!

No, no, no, no!

Cut the doctor - we don't have time.

Susan died while I was away.

Of typhoid.

That doesn't matter.

Close the house.

Scene three!

Morning Jacob...

Oh morning, sir!

I have noticed since you have returned you carry

with you such a quiet dignity.

Grief makes solemn poets of us all.

Sir, would you like to while away an hour at the chess

board like we used to?

Thank you, young Jacob, that may ease my pain.

There is nothing more calming than an hour spent in the company

of these fine bishops and knights.

I have missed our games in your absence.

Good move, Jacob.

Ah, chess is a game when you must never rush your turn.

I shall ponder my repost at length while listening

to the birds in the orchard.

BIRD SOUNDS

Done.

You always did think strategically, always five moves ahead.

Yet strategy comes naturally to you, Jacob, does it not?

Well, one must take whatever advantage is presented.

You have certainly taken advantage, have you not?

Bishop takes pawn.

What are you getting at sir?

Susan wrote to me of you.

Bishop takes knight.

Well, the truth is she fell ill while you were away at the front.

I gave her comfort in your absence as any man would.

And, yes, we grew close, check.

Block.

And dare I say we fell in love, but who are you to pass judgment.

You never loved her as I could, Roger.

Checkmate.

The days grow longer.

It's as if the world has ground to a halt.

Well, it must make the days more exciting to have a man love you so?

Love me?

Oh, yes, I've seen the long lingering looks

Master Jacob gives you.

Mrs Wimblegate would not approve.

One cannot live one's life scared of what others may think.

Come, play us something soothing and gentle for these

endless afternoons.

FAST TUNE

Thank you!

I made you this.

Do you feel that chill in the wind, ma'am?

Oh, yes.

Summer is drifting away.

Soon it will be Autumn.

Oh!

It's time for the harvest celebration.

AUDIENCE CHEERS and APPLAUDS

AUDIENCE CHEERS AND APPLAUDS

Mrs Wimblegate, please bring me another blanket.

When will my nephew return from the war?

I'm back, Uncle, do you not remember?

Oh, yes, of course.

Silly me.

He is growing weak.

Eat your supper.

And plenty of water.

The doctor says he won't survive the night.

OWL HOOTS

COCKERILL SOUNDS.

He lives another day!

I say you are fit and strong, Uncle, never mind what the doctor says.

Listen to ten of his breaths and tell me if you hear a single falter.

HEAVY BREATHING

A man of sound body and mind.

Coughs!

Ugh!

Fetch the Doctor.

There's no time, get out.

Please, bring Monty to me.

I want one more time to feel his tiny little...

What are you doing?

Pause.

No, brother, don't leave me.

Please, Margaret, read me a Psalm.

Of course.

FASTER AND FASTER: The Lord is my shepherd: I shall not want.

He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me

beside the still waters.

He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness

for his name's sake.

Yeah, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,

I will fear no evil: for thou art with me: thy rod and thy

staff they comfort me.

Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies:

surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life:

I will dwell in the house of the Lord for ever.

Amen.

Amen!

AUDIENCE APPLAUDS

Ugh...

Good.

He's dead.

Winter.

Manure boy...

Argh!

Manure boy...

Morning.

Over these months since my Uncle died you have seemed somewhat quiet.

Well, my bowel has decayed.

Of course it has.

And I had come to care so deeply for your Uncle.

Manure boy, you look so thin, so pale, so ghoulish.

Not goulash!

Manure boy, you are so disgusting - I never asked your name.

What is it?

Gavroche.

Galosh?

Go away!

I feel closer to you now, perhaps we might share our grief together?

Right, now there's this whole long scene where we discuss our

predicaments and after many years of feeling animosity, we realise

that actually we're very similar.

Then, Gavroche dies of typhoid and that's the end of that.

Scene five!

Roger, have you seen the...

No time.

Margaret and I realise we're reading the same book and we meet for dinner

by the lake in secret.

That happens, dinner finishes.

There's a love scene which we pre-recorded - play that!

Right, good.

Oh, my soul is wracked with shame.

This baby will have no future.

Because she's a peasant.

Baby.

Baby! Baby!

Baby!

Oh, look, it's beautiful.

You have your father's eyes.

This baby brings shame on to Northwood Manor!

I decide I can't be with Margaret so I send her away.

Farewell, my love.

Yep.

I will write you every day. Fine.

Circumstance drives us apart but loves knows not the bounds

of class or creed...

All good.

Perhaps in another age, in another life, in another world

we could have been together.

Why not?

Many years pass.

Eventually the boy grows up, comes back to see me...

..but there's no time for that.

We reconnect.

I give him ten shillings because he's poor, then we meet back

up every year but then one year he doesn't come and it turns out

it's because he's died of typhoid.

I feel remorse so I go on a religious pilgrimage

to Jerusalem that...

HOODED FIGURES CHANT

That's a really long sequence, where I meet a wise priest.

But there's no time for that.

That whole sequence was supposed to happen in front of this huge

tapestry of a Levantine pastoral scene which cost a fortune

so we will show that.

There it is.

Months of work there.

I receive a message saying my mother is ailing so I return home.

There's a sandstorm, which we'll skip.

I see my mother...

Keep her moving.

I think, all things considered, it's probably best that

we're not doing that.

I lose an eye in a duel with Jacob.

And then he finds out he has typhoid and he kills himself before

the typhoid kills him.

In rehearsal that was very moving.

Then Mrs Wimblegate who was really in love with Jacob all along

kills Monty the dog...

It made sense in context.

Something about loss.

The ghost of my uncle appears to me in a dream...

Though I'm gone I'm always hard.

That's not the line.

Mrs Wimblegate and I have an argument.

He's gone!

Your mother's estate is in ruin and now she's dead.

All of that.

And then as I start to succumb to my illness, I...

Oh, no, I forgot that, yes, there's a scene where you find out

I have typhoid as well.

That happens in the second scene, we skipped that.

So...

So imagine I was dying all along.

OK?

So all through that I was dying.

So there's a layer of subtext to it.

Quite, quite sad.

Erm, right...

What's next?

Oh, yes, now it's Spring.

Jesus!

So that's spring.

OK, now...

That's the stove!

We'll put a wet cloth on that.

And as I die I say, "It will soon be Summer once again."

And that's, ah...

That's the end.

Yeah.

Right.

Now, because we've rushed there are quite a few minutes left.

Erm, does anyone have any questions?

No?

Anyone?

How many mistakes was that, Robert?

Tell you what,

we'll go back, we'll do the second scene with the doctor.

Open the house.

In all my years as a physician...

No, no, sorry, my watch is slow.

That is the end.

AUDIENCE LAUGHS & APPLAUDS

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