Original subtitles

- Come on. Come on. Bring it back.

Cut the wheel. There you go.

Good job. A little more.

A little more. Right there. Right there.

[laughing] Hey! Yes.

Way to go, honey. I love it.

- Yes. - Come here.

I'm so proud of you. Come here.

[smooching] I want a kiss from you.

Come on, baby. - Jeez, stop.

- Oh, I love you. - Let go of me.

- You're my baby. - Hey, get off me.

- [smooching]

- Oh, you have got to be kidding me.

In what world do you think it's okay

to speak to a female employee that way?

- No, sir, you don't understand.

- And you certainly don't touch them inappropriately like that.

- Oh, uh--

- The city is gonna hear about this.

- Hold on a second.

- I got your back, female firefighter.

- Can we still go get ice cream?

- Yeah, okay. Who's driving?

- Me! [whoops]

[Foreigner's "Hot Blooded"]

♪

- ♪ Well, I'm hot-blooded

♪ Check it and see

♪ I got a fever of 103

♪ I'm hot-blooded

[light music]

- Hey. Still studying, Luce?

- I got the test today. - Second time's the charm, huh?

[laughter] - Yeah.

Well, I'm still gonna be

the first female at Station 24 - with a 2 - Q license.

And then you better watch out, Ike,

because I'm gonna be driving that engine.

- Whoo, scary.

Just remember, the mirrors in there,

they're not for checking your makeup.

- [laughs] Yeah. And no selfies while driving.

- Y'all ever hear about the female driver

that ran out of gas?

She thought the car ran on emotions.

- [laughs sarcastically]

Yeah, keep laughing, Granny, because next,

I'm gonna get my paramedic license,

and then you'll be out of work.

all: Ooh. - What? Can she do that?

- Lucy, I'm rooting for you.

I love a woman who drives a truck.

Actually, it's on my list of Penisi's top qualities.

[ding]

- What are some of the other ones, Cap?

A woman who doesn't "mess with my hair"?

[laughter]

- Actually, there are several things

I find irresistible in a woman.

For example,

I like female commuters

who wear business suits and sneakers.

I'm a sucker for girls who like Patrick Swayze movies.

- I like that too.

- I love tall women. 6 feet and up.

- I actually worked with an exotic dancer once

who was over 7 feet tall.

You know what her name was?

Andrea the Giant. - Whoa.

- Her G-string was like a parasail.

- Where is she now?

- She fell off a cliff.

- [exhales]

- The city takes sexual harassment complaints

very seriously.

- Councilwoman,

you cannot sexually harass your own daughter.

- We both know the TFD has a lot of ground to make up

when it comes to gender equality.

- Oh, really?

Did you know we're about to get

our first female engine driver?

- Cool. Welcome to the 19th century.

This shift hasn't had sexual bias training

in over four years,

and now you have a female firefighter.

So I've arranged for a counselor

to run a session today.

- Today? What if we're busy?

- Make some time...sweetie.

[cries out] - Oh!

Might wanna get that fixed!

- I can call my daughter "sweetie."

- And you know who else I think is hot?

Marge Simpson,

but that's really about the blue hair

because I love blue hair.

I love a woman who eats with her hands,

and I love a woman who likes black coffee.

- [snoring] - Hey, everybody.

I just met with Linda Price.

- What? Is she still here? - She's gone.

- Whew.

- What does she check on your list?

- Municipal authority figure.

- Oh, that's so specific.

- She has ordered us to undergo

a sexual bias training session today.

- I told you not to kiss me.

- I can kiss you whatever I want!

You're my daughter.

The instructor will be here shortly.

- Okay.

- Ugh, is this gonna be more role-playing?

- Are they gonna check our social media?

- Guys, stop.

As the most woke person here,

I can tell you that sexual bias training

is something we can all learn from,

especially a chief who hugs his female employees.

- Watch it. Next time, I'll hug you.

- Yeah, and I'll hug you back because I'm that woke.

- [growls] - Why are you growling?

- [growls]

[sighing]

Oh, Jesus! Come on.

Ah, sheep shit! - You okay, Chief?

- Ah, I just spilt my coffee over the rug.

- Oh, man. Yeah, right there?

- No, actually, that's when Eddie tried to surprise me

on my birthday in his birthday suit--oof.

- Oh, there it is. - Nope.

That is when Eddie tried to show me

how bouncy his new Super Ball was.

It's actually this one over here.

- Oh, man. - It's a freshy.

- Why don't you just get a new carpet in here, Chief?

- Ah, I don't know; it's such a headache, you know?

Those carpet guys are always trying to rip you off.

- You do know that Andy's side job is selling carpet

for his uncle's carpet company, right?

- Huh.

- I'm sure he'd give you a great deal, Chief.

- I never really think of Andy outside of this building.

- Andy!

- Maybe I should just flip it over.

- Andy! - Hey!

- What's up? - Ah.

- Chief needs a new carpet, right?

That's you, baby.

- Eh, I don't like to mix business with business.

- Neither do I.

Actually, I'm a very tough customer

and a very savvy customer.

I just figured if you're gonna give me a sweet deal, well...

- Of course I would.

The problem is,

I give my friends too sweet of a deal,

and then my uncle gets mad.

- Well, we're not really friends, right?

I mean, huh? Not friends? Wink, wink.

Uh-huh. You know what I mean? - [laughs]

No, no, we're not. - Yeah. All right.

- Yeah. Okay, let's do it. I'll hook you up.

- Ah, you'll hook me up. I love that.

- Let's do it. - It all worked out.

That's awesome. - Yeah.

Let's stop standing around and let's get back to work.

I'd love to talk some more, but I don't wanna anymore.

- Hey, Luce, if you need any help learning how

to read a map, you can ask any one of us.

[all hollering] - Oh, wow. Thanks.

Coming from the guy who thought that AM radio

only played in the morning.

all: Oh! [laughter]

- You're thinking of someone else.

I know it means "after midnight."

[door clicks open]

- Hi, everyone. I'm Courtney Brixton.

I'm your sexual bias training instructor.

♪

How is it going?

- Hi. - Hi. How are you?

- Nice to meet you. - Hi.

Oh, do you need some help with that, Captain?

I got it. It's a little high. [both chuckle]

- I hope you're still here when I need to wipe up a spill.

- [laughs]

- Oh, God, I needed a laugh.

Oh, I hope it's okay that I parked my truck out back.

I just could not find a spot.

I mean, just the bed is so wide.

Okay.

Ready to get started, Captain?

- Um, yeah.

[ding] Yeah.

Let me, uh, get you set up in the meeting room.

Right this way. - Okay.

I'll just follow you.

- See you in there. - Okay! See you in a bit.

- Tall, sneakers, truck, and hair.

She hit him with the knockout combo.

- Yeah.

I hope he can appreciate that

that's the sexual harassment teacher.

- Oh, man. - [laughing]

- Wait, wait, wait, he wouldn't make a move, would he?

- On his dream girl? [sarcastically] No.

[laughter]

We should keep an eye on him. - No, yeah. For sure.

- Of course. - Absolutely. Absolutely.

- I'm definitely going to keep my...

- I'm sure you guys think this is just gonna be

another boring corporate presentation,

and I assure you, it is gonna be exactly that.

But I will try to make it short.

Hmm. I prefer shag carpet.

[laughter]

Whew. All right.

I would normally be reading

about two hours of stuff to you guys,

but what if we just talk some shit

and get out of here as quickly as possible?

- Cool. - Does that sound good?

- Take your time. - Yes, ma'am.

- I know you think you're being played,

but don't call me "ma'am."

Calling me "ma'am,"

that's like putting an elevator in an outhouse.

It don't belong.

- Did you just quote "Road House"?

- I did. [laughs] Thank you for noticing.

I have this tic where I just, like,

quote Patrick Swayze movies.

I'm crazy for Swayze, I know.

- [dreamily] No way-ze. - Okay.

So has anyone ever heard of a term called unconscious bias?

- Oh, I'm not sure. Why don't you run it "bi-us"?

- [laughing] - Woof.

- Okay. Let's dive in. - [sighs happily]

She is perfect.

Absolutely perfect. [exhales]

Blue hair with streaks of purple--ooh. Tall...

- Yeah, congrats on kind of keeping yourself under control.

- I'm not an idiot.

She's the sexual bias instructor.

- Hey, sorry to interrupt.

It's just, is there a lady's bathroom anywhere?

- Mm, not really,

but the closest thing's down the hall, to the right.

- Cool. Thanks.

- Oh, hey, Courtney. - Yes?

- We're about to have lunch. Are you hungry?

- Oh, I couldn't. Thank you, though.

- Hold on, hold on. I'm cooking something special.

And I was thinking maybe you could help us find

some more of our blind spots, because we got some.

- Sure.

I don't have a ton of time, but it's a deal.

You better be a good cook.

- The best.

- Okay.

- Boy, is you stuck on stupid?

We just got done with that seminar.

- With all your woman driver jokes,

I'm thinking maybe you need to learn some more.

- Uh-uh, stop. We see what you're doing.

- I'm not doing anything.

Although, it has occurred to me

that it's not harassment

if I get her to ask me out.

[laughter] - Son of a bitch.

- You think you're gonna get

the sexual harassment instructor to ask you out

after the sexual harassment class?

- I'm already doing well with stage one:

non-flirting flirting.

- Non-flirting flirting?

- It's master-level stuff.

- Yeah; that's where I hit on her

without actually hitting on her.

It's so imperceptible.

She doesn't even realize it's already working.

- Like carbon monoxide. - Exactly.

I gotta go cook lunch. - Okay.

- It ain't gonna work!

That ain't gonna work. She's a trained professional.

- I don't know, man.

I think Cap could pull it off.

- Put your money where your mouth is.

- Wait, you guys, don't you think

we should be putting a stop to these Cap moves?

- 50 bucks says Cap gets her to ask him out.

- Deal. - Boom.

- Have you guys learned nothing?

- What you mean? - About what?

- All right.

Johnny, get some measurements in here.

Carl, let's see what the subfloor looks like, huh?

Let's move. - Wow.

There's a different Andy, huh?

- Chief, did you look at the book?

- The sample book? Yeah, I got it right here.

I was thinking about a medium pile.

- No, you don't want a medium pile.

You want a low pile. This is a high-traffic area.

What about color?

- I thought Raspberry Tart looked pretty tasty.

- Too dark.

You want something in the beige family,

like Tuscan Marvel or the Sedona Tidewater.

- Oh, okay. Tuscan. Marvel looks nice.

- Tuscan Marvel it is. Good choice.

- Very similar to what I have. - Tuscan Marvel.

Good choice.

- Okay, Tuscan Marvel.

- Johnny! What's taking so long, man?

It's just a simple measurement. It's 17, 3.

- Hah. 17, 3.

You just saw that? - I can eyeball that.

- I bet you're way off. - Johnny, bring it over.

- Oh.

Whoa, right on the money. How'd you do that?

- It's what I do. - Huh! Wow.

- Okay, well, I was thinking about this brand right here.

- No, I wouldn't even wipe my feet with that.

I'd go with this brand.

It's a dollar more per yard, but it's well worth it.

- Okay, stop, stop, stop.

I know what you're trying to do, Andy.

I don't need the more expensive one.

- Ah, look at that beauty of a family.

You and your four daughters.

- Well, that's my wife. Of course you know that.

- Man, how old are they now? Like, what, 20-ish?

- The younger ones are teenagers.

- Teenagers, yeah. - And Lucy is, you know, Lucy.

- Sure. Lucy is Lucy. - Yeah.

- You probably only get the best for your daughters.

- I do, yeah. Mm-hmm.

- You should get the best for yourself.

I mean you are the chief, right?

- Yeah.

- This brand is so high quality,

you'll actually be saving money.

- Saving money? - Yeah.

- Okay, well... - Okay! Let's do that.

And let's get some of this stuff out of here.

Come on, chop, chop. Let's go.

[traditional Italian music] - Lunch is served.

- Wow. - Cioppino Penisi.

Il pesce piu fresco per tutto Tacoma.

- You speak Italian? - Eh.

Un pochino. Mangiate, per favore.

- God, you guys get crab legs for lunch?

I love crab legs.

Do you mind if I eat with my hands, or...

- Yeah, of course. - Oh, okay!

Because they're way better

when you're just eating with your hands.

Look how soft.

Mmm! Oh, my God.

Splendido.

- Grazie, Courtney. Mangiamo.

- Mmm!

- Yeah, there's cracks all along here.

Do you see those?

- Look at those cracks over there.

- So many cracks. Cracks here, cracks there.

I mean, they're... - Wow. Okay.

- The whole floor. - I mean,

and then there's a bunch of cracks over here, Chief.

- Cracks everywhere. - Yeah.

This would usually cost you so much more,

but I'm gonna absorb the patchwork on my end.

Okay, Chief?

- Yeah, okay. - Just for you.

Carl! Let me see that.

Where did you get this blade, huh?

The bottom of a cereal box?

Go. Get a new blade!

You're embarrassing me. Blades are cheap!

Johnny. Thank you so much.

Mmm!

Johnny, nice "cappuccins."

You want one of these, Chief? - Nope. I'm good.

That's how we got here in the first place.

[both laughing]

- Man, nice one.

So funny, Chief. You are so funny.

So we have you done for the super-blend poly adhesive.

I also have you down for that stain guard coating.

- Oh, I don't need that. - Chief, it's only $50 more.

Plus I'm absorbing all of the patchwork

and you're not getting padding in here.

I wouldn't skimp on the stain guard.

- Stop with the upselling, Andy.

You think I don't get it?

I'm a savvy customer.

I'm not gonna pay the extra costs.

- Wow! You did it. You got me.

- Yeah. - Boy, you are good.

- I've never seen Salesman Andy before.

It's kinda weird.

- Well, they have a saying in the carpet business,

"You show weakness, you get walked on."

- [chuckling] Okay. All right. Well, you know what?

I can see it a mile away. So don't waste your time.

- I'm not gonna waste any more of your time.

You just need to pick a scent for the carpet deodorizer.

- Okay, I don't need any carpet deodorizer.

- What about the smell in here, Chief?

- What smell? - Ah, no offense, Chief,

but it smells like breath and hot dog water in here.

- Hot-dog water? - No. Hot dog water.

Everybody's talking about it. Trust me.

This is the way to stop the whispering around here.

- Okay.

I think it smells fine in here.

It smells like me.

[upbeat music playing on speaker]

- Hey Captain, do you want some help with that?

- No, no. I love doing dishes.

It's something I'm good at.

- You're also good at making lunch.

- Well, feeding people makes me happy.

- Courtney, can I get you a cup of coffee or something?

- Yeah, just black, though.

[dish clatters loudly]

Are you okay?

- Yeah, yeah, yeah. Everything's fine.

Just listening to the tune. Vibing out.

Man, I feel this one in my bones.

Yeah, you can't help but move to this one.

- Oh, there he goes. - He's a pretty good dancer.

- Oh, yeah? - Hey! Yeah!

- Oh! - Come on. Who's feeling it?

All right. Come on up here.

You don't need a reason to get on the dance floor.

Come on, Ike, you're a dancer. - Yeah, yeah.

I mean... - It'd be weird if I...

- No, it looks fun. - Oh, there we go.

- Whoa. - Come on. Yeah.

Oh, yeah. There we go. - I love dancing, but I can't.

We're working. - Yeah?

Courtney, you know, I used to be a break-dancer.

- Really? - Yeah.

Break-dancing was my thing.

- Really? - Check it out.

- Oh, yeah. - Oh.

- Watch out. Oh, it's going down there.

- Oh. - It's coming back up.

- Whoo. - Whoa, baby.

- Oh, hey what's that? - Oh, that?

- Who put this piece of cardboard here?

- Yeah, I must have left it there by accident.

- That's so weird.

[Run DMC's "It's Tricky" playing on speaker]

- ♪ This beat is my recital, I think it's very vital ♪

♪ To rock - ♪ A rhyme

- ♪ That's right - ♪ On time

- ♪ "It's Tricky" is the title ♪

- ♪ Here we go! It's tricky ♪

♪ To rock a rhyme, to rock a rhyme ♪

♪ That's right on time, it's tricky ♪

♪ It's tricky - Whoa!

- ♪ Tricky, tricky,

♪ It's tricky to rock a rhyme, to rock a rhyme ♪

♪ That's right on time, it's tricky ♪

- ♪ T-t-t-tricky - ♪ Tricky

- ♪ Tricky!

- ♪ I met this little girly

♪ Her hair was kind of curly

♪ Went to her house and bust her out ♪

♪ I had to love real early

♪ These girls are really sleazy ♪

- Oh, oh! - Whoa!

- ♪ Or spend some time and rock a rhyme ♪

♪ I said, "It's not that easy" ♪

♪ It's tricky to rock a rhyme... ♪

- They don't call it the break room for nothing.

- Oh, my God. Oh, my God. [laughing]

- Holy shit.

- Oh, my instructor is here.

Time for my test. Wish me, luck guys.

- Good luck, Luce. - Good luck!

- Whoo! - That was awesome.

- Who wants to dance? Come on, Granny.

- Come on, guys. - Come on.

Yeah. All right! Yeah!

- ♪ It's tricky to rock a rhyme ♪

♪ To rock a rhyme that's right on time ♪

♪ It's tricky!

♪ Huh!

- Wow, it looks like a new office.

- Hah! That's what I said. Oh my, gosh.

Chief, we're on the same page.

- Tuscan Marvel, right? - Good choice.

Well, Chief, it has been a pleasure

so I'm just gonna go ahead and leave that with you.

Okay. Thank you so much. - Great.

Whoa, whoa, whoa. What is this?

A joke? - I'm sorry?

- You said you were gonna hook me up.

- Oh, I did. - This is not a "hook me up."

This is a "hook me down." - I don't know what that means.

- You are gouging me with these add-ons.

- Oh, come on, Chief, you can just spread it around

the station budget, right?

- Spread what around? - The money.

- What do think I am? A mob boss?

- Chief, it feels like a nice office.

This is where a chief should hang out.

Smooth floors. "Oh! I'm the Chief."

Think about that. - I'm not paying for this.

- We'll see.

- [dramatically] If you want the ultimate,

you've got to be willing to pay the ultimate price.

- [dramatically] It's not tragic

to die doing what you love.

- Fucking "Point Break."

- "Point Break"! You get it. - "Point Break." Swayze.

- [laughing] It is the best movie.

- Of all time.

- [exhales] Well, it is a workday.

I should probably head out.

But thank you guys so much. It was good to see you.

- Are you sure you can't stay longer?

Maybe another cup of coffee, black? Hmm?

- No, thanks.

I'm gonna grab my stuff and I'll just see myself out.

- [sighs]

- Oh, man.

That did not go the way I thought it was gonna go.

- I was so subtle and so smooth.

- No, you weren't.

Dude, you made crab legs cioppino for a Tuesday lunch.

- I've done that before. - No, you haven't.

- Guys...

[inspiring music]

Cupid's arrow strikes...

six, maybe seven times in a man's life.

This was my ninth. - [scoffs]

- That means something.

The woman of my dreams just walked out that door

and I may never see her again.

- Mm, tragic.

Tragic.

♪

- [sighs forlornly]

- I order you to lower this bill.

- You're not my carpet boss.

- What the hell happened to you?

This is not the Andy I know.

- [sighs] You're right.

You know, this is why I don't do business with my friends.

This is not me.

It's just a character that I play,

and I hate it.

I love being a firefighter

because I can be Andy Myawani,

not Special K,

the asshole who gets everything done.

I don't want to be that guy.

In the carpet business...

[voice cracks] This is the only way to survive.

- Don't beat yourself up, man.

I know you gotta pay the bills.

When I was your age, I had all kinds of side jobs.

We called them paper routes. [chuckles]

I was a housepainter.

I sold wooden Bibles door-to-door.

- Whoa.

- I drove the Zamboni at the Tacoma Ice Pavilion.

- Oh, cool!

- Listen, Linda Price hated that old carpet.

I bet we could get the city to pick this up.

- Really? - Yeah. Why not?

- I mean, it is a nice carpet. - Tuscan Marvel.

- Yeah, you picked that! - [laughs]

- It'll last you a long time, Chief.

[chuckles]

Especially if you got the fade resistance.

- What was that?

- If you got the fade resistance--

you know, to hold the color forever.

- Is that an add-on? - No, it's not an add-on.

It's just 25 bucks.

A yard. [sighs] Man, thank you.

- [whispering] I'm not paying for this carpet.

♪

- Cap, if Courtney leaving bothers you so much,

do something about it.

- I don't know about that.

Might be best not to poke the bear.

- Did you guys make a bet? - Yes.

- No. - Yes, we did.

- Not cool. Not cool.

- Hey, Eddie, could you meet me out by my truck?

I just have a quick question. Bye, guys.

♪

- "All you gotta do is jump."

Fucking "Point Break."

both: "Point Break."

- Son of a bitch. - Get her, Cap.

♪

- What's up? - Hey.

I just wanted to talk to you in private real quick.

I'm sure you know what I'm gonna say.

- I do. You don't have to say anything.

- Okay. - I feel the exact same way.

I'm into you too,

and I would love to take you out to dinner

because today,

I had...

"the time of my life."

- [chuckles] That's a good... [exhales]

Here. I'll just give you that.

- Uh, what's this?

- It's the information for your sexual bias training boot camp.

- What? - Since I got here today,

you've objectified me.

You haven't really learned anything.

You've been trying to pick me up pretty much all day

with your non-flirting flirting.

The cooking, the dancing,

and now you're gonna...

ask out your sexual bias instructor?

I mean, it's a little crazy.

- I feel like I did an excellent job

of not hitting on you.

- And for the next four weekends,

you'll learn why that's wrong.

So I'll see you at the boot camp.

Yeah?

[engine turns over]

- Wait. Courtney-- - Bye.

♪

- Uncle, Eddie, I did it. I did it.

I passed the engineer test. - Cool.

- This means I can drive the engine now,

why are you not more excited?

- No, I am excited, Lucy.

Congrats. - Hey, guys! I passed.

- [flatly] Yeah, never doubted you for a second.

- [flatly] That's great. Cap, where's Courtney?

What happened?

- She just left, but before she did,

she read me the Riot Act for my behavior today.

And then she ordered me

to attend her sexual harassment boot camp.

- [laughs]

- Okay. - Thank you.

- Why are you smiling?

Now you have to go to boot camp.

- Because this means I got another shot.

[funky music] - ♪ Eddie!

- Yes, you do, Cap. Yes, you do.

- But seriously, can we please celebrate the fact

that I passed the driver's test?

- Yes! That's amazing! - Yes!

- Come on. - Oh, whoa, whoa.

Hey, what are you doing? - What?

- Remember the seminar and stuff?

Just one of these. - Oh.

- Thank you. - No, no.

- Coworker.

- That was a good job that you did.

- Thanks, guys.

Got any of that cioppino left? Get outta here.

- [chuckling]

- Wait a minute, you're giving me a bad Yelp review?

- "The salesman, Andy Myawani,

"pulled the old bait and switch.

"Beware these tactics,

"and definitely beware the phrase,

'I'll hook you up.'"

- I thought we were gonna handle this like gentlemen.

- That was before I submitted the bill to City Hall.

Linda Price isn't gonna pay for it and neither am I.

I'm disappointed in you, Andy.

- I'll tell you what, Chief. We're basically at cost now.

So the best I can do is knock off my commission.

- Now we're talking.

- You're cool with me forfeiting my commission?

- I wasn't born yesterday. You're not forfeiting anything.

- Damn, you're good.

Real good.

Let me see this. Jeez.

You're the toughest customer I've ever had.

I'll tell you that right now.

- I think I told you that before we started.

All right, Chief, there you go.

There's your new price.

You should love that number, then.

- Yes.

Andy...

pleasure doing business with you.

[both laugh]

- Are you sure you don't want that stain guard coating?

You know, with a carpet this light,

it might be a smart idea, Chief.

- Stop, stop, stop. Okay?

Go sell some other chump the stain guard coating.

All right? Dismissed.

- Got it.

Hey, thanks, Johnny.

Ooh, so good, Johnny.

Are you sure you don't want a coffee?

- How much per yard for that?

[laughter]

- Well, me and the guys have to head out.

Vicky found out we were redoing your office

and she hired me to recarpet your whole house.

- She what? - Yep.

- [growls]

Damn it!

Fuuuuu!

Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0