Original subtitles

.

[horns honking]

[phone ringing]

[breezy instrumental music]

♪

- Max.

Hey.

Hey, I got a couple questions for you

in regards to the--oh, hey.

- Hi. - Sorry. It's just a departure

from your usual bat out of hell pace,

so I'm just taking it in.

What is this, a mosey?

- It's funny, I would've said "saunter."

- Oh. - "Mosey" is not really a word

I use, but I'm trying to be open, so yeah,

let's call it a mosey.

- All right, yeah. You kind of got a whole

McConaughey vibe going on here, and I'm not mad at it.

- All right. - Yeah.

- Here's the thing. There's only so many times

that a guy can keep fighting and losing

his daily battle to Dr. Veronica Fuentes

and only so many times said guy can pace around his apartment

neurotically complaining about it.

And Helen has told me that I've surpassed that limit.

So turning over a new leaf and as the saying goes,

the tree that does not bend

makes life miserable for all the other trees.

- Yeah, I don't know that one, but it--what you're saying is,

the difference can be

a change that brings about opportunity for people.

- Yeah, New Amsterdam's so much bigger than any one person

with one title, you know? - Yeah.

- So the next time I feel like I'm going to freak out,

I'll just breathe through it. And what the hell is that?

- That says, "Nah."

Nah.

- Nuh-uh, what is happening? What is that? Where is my tree?

- Well, man, maybe it got moved, relocated.

- Where? Moved where? And is that an art exhibit

where my Lenapehoking plaque used to be?

- Uh-huh. - Watch your step.

- Oh, usually the whitewashing isn't quite that literal.

[upbeat funky music]

♪

- You have exactly one minute to explain

what in the--what is that?

- Oh, I know; it's appalling. That new logo is awful.

But the good news is, is, I've commissioned five more,

so I'll just focus group them.

- Logo? I don't care if Banksy does our logo.

- Oh, do you think he'd be interested

in rebranding the hospital? - Wh--why?

Why are we rebranding the hospital?

- Because I would actually like

to treat conservatives for heart attacks

rather than have the art in our lobby gives them one,

which is why I have partnered up with the Manhattan

to create a space for all who come here to enjoy.

- You mean for the donors to enjoy.

- No, the art is for the patients.

But those glowing press reviews,

yes, that's the donors.

- And how much is it gonna cost us to land on "Page Six"?

- About 50,000. - What a steal.

As in what department did you steal from to pay for that?

- The Burmese Clinic.

- The--the clinic for asylees,

for people who have lost everything,

who have lost their country--

- Okay, you didn't let me finish.

The first exhibit will be of Burmese art.

- I think they would have preferred medical care.

- Well, now they get to have both.

Ooh, I think there's a catchphrase in there somewhere,

"New Amsterdam, all of the above."

No, but I do know that it has to be aspirational.

"Our art is in the right place."

[breezy instrumental music]

♪

- How's that?

- You're a miracle worker, Dr. Reynolds.

- Erma, I pronounce you all good.

- I just want to see if I can use a pen.

Could you hand me my purse?

- Yeah. Yeah. - Thanks.

- Here you go.

- Let me just see.

[quirky music]

♪

- Let me see. Let me--is that...

Yeah, there's one. - Yeah.

♪

Look at that. [chuckles]

I don't know what I would do without you, Dr. Reynolds.

It's like the sixth time

this year that you've helped me out.

- Eighth actually but who's counting?

We're gonna have to get you a punch card.

[laughter]

Okay.

- I was just wondering-- - Nurse is happy to help.

- Eh...

- You ready?

- Do I tell you enough how beautiful you are?

- Floyd.

- And smart, driven, and forgiving?

- Sounds like you're about to take that last one

for a test drive. - Yeah, look,

I know we're supposed to tell Claude about us.

- Because we were supposed to tell him a week ago.

- I swear. I'm not putting it off.

- Good, then let's go. - Okay. Well, technically

I'm--I--I am putting it off.

It's just that you know today today's huge for me.

And--and we'll tell him... just after today.

- You better save a lot of lives.

- You're thinking too small, baby.

I'm making history.

- An artificial heart, the machine that could be

the answer to heart disease.

The number one leading cause of death vanquished.

- I heard Veronica had to make a 250K "gift"

to the trial program to score the surgery.

- Hey, don't let him Max hear me

say it, but thank God for Veronica.

I mean, this took vision.

I mean, think about it.

600,000 people die every year of heart disease,

and the day we implant an artificial heart

that lasts that number drops to zero.

And today could be that day.

And to think me as the surgeon who could--

- Excuse me, Dr. Reynolds,

you've been pulled from the surgery.

- Wait, what? On who's orders?

- Dr. Baptiste.

- You know, it's one thing for Veronica to cut my budget

by 250 grand.

It is another to inform me by group email.

- 250 grand is a lot of grand.

- Yes, this is the damage she can cause

with Max still in the building...

- Hey, look on the bright side.

We're both working the same shift again.

- Finally.

- Which means we'll both be free for a romantic dinner.

- Mm, and nothing can ruin that.

- Lauren? Lauren?

- Mom? - Isn't this funny?

You know, I--I was just at a--at a fundraiser

over at the Morgan Hotel, you know,

the one that I chair every year for the poor kids in Guatemala?

And I started feeling that--that stinging,

stabbing thing here,

and then the pain got really bad.

Oh, God. Ahh. Oh, God.

- She's fine.

- Oh, God.

- I'm just gonna palpate your abdomen

to locate the pain, okay?

- It's--it's lower, hon.

Oh, God! No, no, no.

- Stop, Dr. Shinwari. There's no pain.

She's trying to score pills.

- No, I'm not. It's not like that.

What are you doing?

- Your pupils are constricted, Mom,

like pinpricks. You're high.

- No, I'm not. No, no, no, no. I have a prescription

for these pills. You know about that.

I've never lied to you about that.

- Do you even hear yourself? - Lauren, I'm in pain.

They--they gave me pills. I ran out, okay?

They were supposed to send me more, and they never did.

- You were on the wagon for months.

Just threw it away, and now you're here,

and you're trying to make me your accomplice.

Good job, Mom.

Welcome to rock bottom. She doesn't need a doctor.

She needs a shovel so she can finish off the job.

- Lauren.

- Can the witness please state her name and connection

to the plaintiff?

- Dr. Helen Sharpe.

I've been her oncologist for five years.

- Dr. Sharpe, do you recall your appointment

with the plaintiff on June 15th of last year?

- Yes, she was having her radiation mold

cost that required her

to lie with her arms pinned over her head.

- Like this? - Yes.

It's not a painful procedure.

It's tedious, which is why I was surprised

when she began--crying doesn't seem like a strong enough word.

She was shaking and sobbing.

I helped her up. I asked her what was wrong.

And she explained that she'd been struck by a memory

of being sexually assaulted when she was 12.

She said that I was the first person she'd ever told.

- But why did she remember at that moment?

I mean, what triggers the recovery of a memory

that's been repressed?

- It's typically a sensory detail.

It can be a smell or a sound or the feeling

of having your arms pinned over your head.

- Mm.

Like this.

Did any part of you suspect

the plaintiff was confused or lying?

- Her recall of the incident was crystal clear.

Her trauma was palpable.

I believe every word.

- Thank you. Prosecution rests.

- Does the defense have counterclaims?

- We do,

an expert witness who will refute the legitimacy

of this conveniently recovered memory.

We call Dr. Ignatius Frome.

[both shouting]

- Hey, I got your page. What's going on?

- Some nut attacked the art, Dr. G.

- What?

- She rammed her chair into that old harp.

- Whoa, whoa, whoa.

- This does not belong to you.

My grandmother fled Burma as a young woman,

and she said that the saung-gauk

belongs to her and that it was stolen.

- Stolen, stolen!

[speaking in Burmese]

- Okay. Calm--calm down, please.

- Clear this up. Now.

- All right. Come on, people. Let's go.

- How's this for our brand?

That was...

- 1974.

- Soldiers retaliated. She lost her family.

She lost everything.

- Lost that too.

- Till today I had never heard her speak about that time.

- Ms. Takhon, I...can only imagine

how traumatizing that must have been.

- I mean, I'd never heard her talk about the happy times.

In order to start a life here, she had to forget.

But that song today she told me her mom played it

and her family sang to it.

It's hers, and she deserves to have it back.

- Look--I--you seem very, very sincere,

but the odds that this is actually her harp,

I mean, it's been 50 years.

I'm so sorry.

This just doesn't prove anything.

- Well, there's an inscription inside this harp.

Can you ask your grandmother if she knows it?

- Sandar 81830.

My mother's name and her birthday.

- It is hers.

- Got your 911.

Why aren't you prepping for the artificial heart?

- Because your husband pulled me off of it.

He knows, Lyn. He knows about us.

- That's impossible.

- He took me off the surgery of my life,

and he did it with no reason. What's your explanation?

- There's no way.

At breakfast he-- he was a little distant.

That's not how I wanted this to go down.

- I knew it. I knew this would happen.

I mean, all this talk about

how evolved to have such a mature relationship, it's...

[pager beeps]

It's wishful thinking.

Of course he feels attacked.

Of course he's lashing out. What were we thinking?

- We didn't do anything wrong.

Claude and I, we have rules. We didn't break them.

- Those rules are who we wish we were.

Here in real life your husband undermined my career,

and he did it with the snap of his fingers.

What's he going to do next?

- Book a CT. I didn't like the bloodwork.

- Poor guy's had a lot of tests.

- Or you could skip the commentary and just do it.

- Uh, rude. - I'm sorry.

I'm having a morning. It's like--

- Thank you so much.

I can't thank you enough. I--I don't usually...

- You're kidding. - Traffic in public hospitals.

- Jeanie Bloom.

- Oh, the world's sexiest nurse.

Come here, baby. Give some love.

- No, I told you to go. - Yes, and I found a doctor

who doesn't kick women in pain to the curb.

- A word?

You realize she's just using you for pills?

- Maybe. - Maybe. She is high right now.

- Which is why I admitted her.

As long as she's intoxicated, a clean diagnosis

is impossible. I'm ordering a rapid detox

so I can make an informed decision.

- Oh, God. Oh.

[groans]

- Okay, fine. Treat her.

She's just going to use you for pills.

She's going to say whatever she has to say to get her fix.

- Or maybe we'll discover the source

of the underlying pain. - Yeah, sure. Good luck.

- We're giving it back.

- Max, it is not ours to give back.

It belongs to the Manhattan.

- Yeah, just like the lobby belongs to this hospital?

- Oh, you are really hung up on the lobby.

- This isn't about me. This is about him,

and it's going to be about you. If this gets out,

how do you think the board is gonna feel when they hear

that your first act as medical director

was to make New Amsterdam the face of someone else's scandal?

- I will tell the board

that there are worse things than taking a PR bullet

for a very rich museum.

And when we get a Manhattan Museum of art fundraiser

do you honestly think that they will care about a harp?

- This isn't just about a harp.

It's about a patient who endured a lifetime of suffering

and had to live it all over again because of us.

So screw the board; screw the games.

She's in pain, and we can fix it.

- That's not my job.

I'm sorry, Max. The harp stays.

- What is the Shopping Mall Experiment?

- That is a very famous experiment

regarding the nature of memory.

A group of doctors tried to convince a group

of healthy minded adults

that they had suffered an incident as children

where they were lost in a mall.

- And did they succeed? - They did.

Almost half of the participants were so sure

that it actually happened that when the doctors revealed

they made it up they refused to believe them.

- So people can have memories that feel true

but are pure fiction?

- So imagine I showed you a chair

and then I took the chair away and asked you

to draw a picture of it. That is memory.

That is our brains attempt in the moment

to recreate the past. If I asked you

to draw that chair tomorrow it would probably be pretty good,

but if I asked you to draw it again in a year, not so much.

- And recovered memories like the plaintiffs?

- Recovered memories would be like asking your brain

to draw a picture of a chair

it hadn't thought about in 20 years.

- Is it fair to say that recovered memories

are inherently unreliable?

- Yes.

- Would you send someone to jail

based solely on a recovered memory?

- No, absolutely not.

- Oh, hey, Dr. Reynolds. - Hi.

I need you to instruct Dr. Baptiste to reinstate me

on the artificial heart implant.

Now, I'd go to him directly, but given the effort

you exerted in bringing such a momentous surgery here,

I figured you'd really understand the stakes.

- Oh, Dr. Baptiste didn't take you off that surgery.

I did.

- I--you? - Mm-hmm.

- Wait, what? Why?

- Well, you have a patient that takes precedent.

Erma Mirojnik? - Erma--Erma--no, no, no, no.

I treated her already this morning.

- Oh, we have a new policy.

The discharging physician handles follow-ups if a patient

returns to the hospital within 30 days of treatment.

And unfortunately, Ms. Mirojnik returned within 13 minutes.

- She what?

- Mm, she's here now. She's awaiting treatment.

And you'd know that if you answered your pages.

Dr. Reynolds, do you have a problem with this policy?

- I have a problem with you risking

a history-making surgery so I can treat

Erma Mirojnik's paper cuts.

- Come on. The surgery is just a ribbon-cutting ceremony.

And I think history will manage just fine

if someone other than you is holding the scissors.

- I earned this opportunity.

- Um, no, Dr. Reynolds, you earned Erma Mirojnik.

Now, if you can treat Ms. Mirojnik's issues,

in time you can certainly still scrub in on the surgery, okay?

- Hayma Takhon's prosthesis doesn't fit her properly.

It's tearing into her skin.

She's battling constant pain, infection--

- Dr. Goodwin-- - That's not the half of it.

This is her first revision surgery with us,

but it's her fourth in the last decade.

Insurance won't pay for a better limb, so every time

she gets a new surgery

she knows that it's not if she'll be back it's when.

It's torture.

- She has my sympathies

and those of the entire Manhattan Museum,

but we have the saung-gauk's provenance.

We have strict protocols to avoid cultural looting.

Our hands are clean.

- Fair enough. I'll tell Hayma what you said.

- Thank you. - Yeah.

And then I'll tell her to call the arts task at "The Times"

just to see if they think your protocols

are as strict as they need to be.

- If we let this woman do this dozens of others with similar

pending claims are going to demand the same.

- You're right.

If only there was some way to magically make it all go away,

skip the legal PR fiasco,

then you'd probably give it back in a heartbeat.

- Of course. - Maybe this will help.

It's an NDA signed by Hayma guaranteeing her silence

in exchange for the saung-gauk.

No legal battle, no PR.

And you, you get to do the right thing.

- Very well.

- [clears throat]

[sighs]

Helen, before I walked into that courtroom,

I had no idea you were on the other side of that case.

- Did you not hear?

There is no case. The state dropped the charges.

Thanks to your testimony, a monster's gonna walk.

- I'm sorry to hear that.

- You're sorry.

Great. Well, I'll just be off then.

- What do you want me to say? - I want you to tell me

why you would stand up in court

and attack a victim of sexual violence?

- I didn't. I did not attack a victim.

I've never even met the victim. You can't possibly think

that I have some sort of anti-victim agenda here.

I don't. - How distressing it must be

for you not to be believed.

- I gave scientific testimony that recovered memories

are unreliable, which they are.

I've been practicing for many years, Helen.

And I've yet to encounter anyone

who had a recovered memory that was the unqualified truth.

- How about me?

Back in university, I got caught in a summer rainstorm,

and this memory out of nowhere came up

and hit me like a hammer.

It's the strongest memory I have.

[thunder booming]

A summer rainstorm. August Bank Holiday.

I'm five, and I'm playing this beaded string

that I'd just gotten for my birthday.

[indistinct chatter]

But really, I'm listening.

- Let go of me. - Wait, we can work--

- Stop crying. Don't touch me.

- 'Cause that's the day my dad left.

- Hold on, don't leave. Please. Please, please, stop.

- Don't touch me.

- I'm so sorry.

I love you. I love you. I'm so sorry.

- And right when he reached the door I begged him to stay,

but he just pushed me off, and my beads ripped.

Now look me in the eye and tell me

that my memory is not critical

- In a court of law, it's not.

- It's a good thing that you're not seeing patients anymore

'cause I would tell any woman who came through your door

to run as fast as she could.

- I mean that is bad.

How come no one could see that before?

- I said you could treat her, not prescribe her pills.

- Excuse me. I'm talking to my doctor here.

- No, you're not. You're discharged.

Don't let the door hit you. - Ow. Ow.

You can't just do that.

She's treating me. I'm her patient.

- No, you're a pill head gaming us for a fix,

and I toss those out of here all the time.

I also toss out doctors who

hand out schedule two narcotics to known drug addicts.

- I didn't give her pills.

I ordered them to help her calm down

so I could perform the ultrasound,

which revealed Lyme disease.

Look at the ultrasound. You'll clearly see--

- An enlarged spleen, right?

And I bet Jeanie was just so grateful when you spotted it.

But Jeannie knows she has an enlarged spleen,

because genie is a hard-core alcoholic.

She played you.

Oh, by the way, I canceled Leyla's prescription.

Go score somewhere else.

- What kind of daughter treats her mother like this?

- I tell you what.

You start acting like a mom, then we can talk.

- Really? And how many times were you here

at work stoned off your ass on Adderall?

Oh, does she know about that?

- She does, because I am working my program.

I tell her the truth.

- Oh, so you and she are...

it's not gonna make a difference.

Honey, thank you so much.

It was very nice to meet you. You have been so sweet.

You--you're gonna be over her by Christmastime.

I--I don't know. She's just nasty inside. She's cold.

I guess you're just next in line to figure that out.

- Get out of my ED now!

- Oh, okay. Ohh.

[groans]

- You know what, Mom? You know what?

Here are your pills.

Take 'em with vodka; have a party.

Why should I care?

.

- Max, what the hell did you do?

- Oh, I brokered a deal between the Manhattan and Hayma.

- Well, that deal is currently blowing up in our lobby.

- [speaking in Burmese]

- [speaking in Burmese]

- It never even belonged to you.

- Hey, hey, hey, put that down. We had a deal.

- This man--

- I'm from the Myanmar Consulate.

- Oh he's a thief. - Okay.

- [speaking Burmese]

- Sir, we had an agreement. The Manhattan Museum of Art

has agreed to return the saung-gauk to Miss Takhon.

- We are aware.

When a museum repatriates an item from our country,

they are obliged to let us know.

- Okay, great. You know. So what's the issue?

- He's about to take back the saung-gauk.

- Okay. Okay.

Let's all just take a deep breath.

I'm sure that we can all work this out.

- There's nothing to work out.

The country that stole Hayma's instrument 50 years ago

is back to do it again. We can prove

that this saung-gauk belongs to Ms. Takhon.

- There are many objects in museums

that may belong to Myanmar.

Mr. Gong has proven that this one did.

And when she left our country, it became property

of the state. She abandoned it.

- Abandoned? She was driven out at gunpoint.

- Max.

- Look, the state department has already signed off.

I have sent you the paperwork.

- No--no, wait, wait, sir.

Please don't do this to her again.

- Just because you can't see the gun pointed at me

doesn't mean it isn't there.

- Triage nurse to the ER.

Triage nurse to the ER.

- You have large inflamed adenoids

in the back of your sinuses.

- Good heavens.

- It's actually good news. Simple surgery is all you need.

- So you can fix it?

- Yes but, Erma, your adenoids didn't get this big overnight.

I mean, you must've had a clue that things weren't right,

I mean, from snoring, aching sinuses, cough, something.

- Yes, all of that.

- Well, why didn't you mention it?

I mean, we certainly see each other often enough.

- Well, I--I didn't want to be an old pest.

I mean, I know you have more important things

to do than to take care of me.

You've already looked at the clock five times

since you came in here.

- You're right. I'm sorry.

I--

I never meant to make you feel...

- Hey. - One moment.

- Surgery's about to start. I got this. Go make history.

- Erma, Dr. Flores has got it from here.

You're in good hands. Thank you.

- Hi. How are you?

- Hi.

- Let's see what we got here.

- Don't worry about it.

You're in good company. She's fooled a lot of

A-list doctors. I shouldn't have left you to--

- You never looked at the ultrasound.

- Okay. You know, I find your refusal

to admit your wrong attractive, but come on.

- You're giving substandard level of care.

- I get that you're embarrassed,

but you are way out of line.

That was awful in there,

and you haven't even asked me if I'm okay.

- Because when I'm on duty my concern is for the patient.

And if you were being her doctor instead of her kid,

you wouldn't be asking me to tend to your feelings.

You'd be looking at the ultrasound.

The spleen is enlarged from alcohol,

but I see a level of growth

that may indicate other factors.

- Except it doesn't.

- You barely looked.

- Because I have seen my mom's

spleen as much as I've seen her face, okay?

It's exactly the same. It's...

- What?

- Above the spleen.

Cysts.

- Endometriosis.

- She was telling the truth.

- Come in.

- Hi. Can we talk?

Okay, well, I think that we need to have a talk.

- Well, I don't have anything to say.

- It wasn't raining that day when your dad left.

You told me you were five. I looked it up,

August Bank Holiday of that year.

There was a heat wave.

Meteorologically historic there wasn't a drop of rain in London

that entire summer.

- Is that supposed to shake me to my core?

'Cause I'm pretty sure you could find another website

that says it hailed frogs. It rained. I was there.

- Unless it wasn't London. - It was London.

- Really? Most people travel on August Bank Holiday.

You told me yourself that you took many trips to the seaside.

I've heard you talk about it.

[seagulls squawking]

- Fine. Maybe it was Cornwell. Well spotted.

- Except for the heat wave wasn't just in London

that summer.

The entire country didn't get a drop of rain.

Do you know where it was raining?

- It was raining. - Yes.

You were in a summer storm when you had the memory.

Maybe the two have been conflated.

[birds chirping]

And if you're wrong about the rain

and you're wrong about the location...

- How dare you? How dare you come in here

and try and disrupt what I know to be true?

- But you don't. - Pardon?

- But you don't know, and I don't know.

You know that I hated what I did today, don't you?

I--I hate that part of my job.

Sexual assault victims are almost always

telling the truth, and they deserve respect

and sympathy and above all else belief.

But recovered memories are not valid. That is a fact.

Not yours, not hers, not anyone's,

and I'm not going to lie under oath

because I think somebody is probably guilty.

I am not playing God.

- No, just executioner.

- How did the beads rip, Helen?

- Can you get out, please? This is so sick.

- I will. I will. Just tell me how the beads got ripped.

- I already told you my father pushed me.

- He pushed you? That doesn't make sense.

How does the string of beads get ripped for a push?

- Well, that's what happened so--

- No, it doesn't.

A string of beads does not get ripped from a push.

- You don't know that! You don't know that!

- For that you need a pull.

Stop. - She's my daughter.

I can't leave.

- We're done. - No, I...

I don't want to go.

Don't, no, don't-- - Let go.

[beads rattling]

Get out! Go!

- Helen.

- My--my mother broke the beads.

- The retractor has been removed.

- Vitals are steady.

- [indistinct].

- Hmm. That looks much better.

- We thought we weren't going to get to see you for this one.

- Nope. This was too important.

[heart monitor beeping]

- I'm sorry.

I'm sorry about your saung-gauk.

If you want our legal services, we'll fight it.

Won't cost you a cent.

- [speaking in Burmese]

- The past is gone. Nothing can bring it back.

Not even the saung-gauk.

Only thing is to live for now.

[speaking in Burmese]

- Maybe we can help with that.

Are you enjoying the prosthesis?

It's the best one we've got.

- I don't know why you would get her hopes up like that

when you know her insurance would never pay for it.

- No, no, you're right. They wouldn't.

But, Ms. Takhon, to make up for their part

in the acquisition of stolen property,

the Manhattan Museum of Art has offered to buy you

the prosthetic leg of your choosing.

And may I suggest the one you have on, which should guarantee

that you'd never have to have revision surgery again.

She understood all of that?

- She got enough. - Good.

- So Flores got to do the artificial heart surgery?

- Mm-hmm. She did.

- You were looking forward to that one.

- I was.

Oh, probably for the wrong reasons.

- Yeah, but the first Black surgeon

to perform an artificial heart transplant.

- That would've been cool.

- Instead, you put your patient first.

That's kind of cool too.

- Makes me think I should do that more often

with the people I care about the most.

It's time to tell your husband.

- Endometriosis is difficult to diagnose.

I mean, there's no one clear test.

And there's no easy fix.

Hey. Hey, come on. It's okay. We're going to get there.

- 30 years no one's ever believed me.

They said, "Oh, it's your period."

They said, "You're crazy."

- They said you wanted pills.

I've judged you my whole life.

I mean, I've thought awful things.

But you were in pain, and you needed my help.

And I am a doctor.

I'm your daughter.

I--I should have--

I am just really sorry, Mom.

- Yeah, come in.

I--I was just leaving you a voice mail.

You know how you can delete and, like, start over again?

And I just kept deleting,

and I got caught in a loop of stupidity.

I--I hate that I did that to you.

- And I hated you for doing it.

It was violating.

But you were right.

I'm about to cross an ocean to be closer to my mum,

and I have no idea who she is anymore.

I've always thought of my dad as...

as a--a coward.

But he was holding me.

He was holding me like he wanted me.

And he tried to reach out so many times.

I never answered, and I was okay with it.

But what if I was wrong?

[sobbing]

The fact that he died knowing that I-I hated him...

There's just--there's no making that right, is there?

- Well, the good news is, I would never accept

that memory in court either.

- [laughs]

- It's just inadmissible.

You wanna know something really messed up about memory?

Literally the least important thing about them

are if they actually happened.

But who cares? I mean, we do.

We care deeply.

I mean, we build this story about ourselves.

We tell ourselves-- we make it big.

It's our truth, you know?

But we--we can't base that story in fact.

We just can't.

We base it in memories,

and memories are--well,

I don't--I don't even know. They're nothing.

They're in the ether.

So maybe try not to define yourself by them.

- But if memory's bollocks, then what do I rely on?

- What about right now, the present?

What makes you feel safe?

You know, what makes you feel pleasure here?

Right now, what makes you feel love?

[siren wailing]

- Well, I hope you're happy.

The Manhattan will never display art in our halls again.

- Oh, no.

What a crushing loss for our hospital that is not a museum.

- A partnership with the Manhattan

could have opened up partnerships

with the Philharmonic, with the City Ballet,

with the Yankees, and bam, New Amsterdam

is a brand that's ready to change medicine.

- You know what I hate about the word "brand"?

- Hmm?

- It implies that whatever you're doing

you wouldn't be doing it unless the cameras were rolling.

That's not us. New Amsterdam doesn't have a brand.

It has a creed. We help people.

And your little makeover of our lobby--

- Okay, enough, enough with the lobby.

What is it with you and this glorified hallway?

- It tells our patients that this hospital isn't yours,

and it isn't mine. It's theirs, the Lenape plaque,

the COVID Memorial, the Black Lives Matter mural.

All these things tell our patients that this hospital

is for everyone.

And you are erasing that, and you are erasing patients.

- Well, if that's how you really feel

maybe you shouldn't leave. - You know what?

If it means leaving this hospital in your hands,

then maybe I won't.

[gentle music]

♪