Original subtitles

- OMG, LA baby!

- I don't know what to do with myself out here!

- EDMUND: When are you going back to Queens?

- NORA: My--my car broke down and my phone's dead.

I'm wondering, do you know where we are?

- You're in New Mexico.

- Is there, like, a cult commune around here?

- MAN: Those freaks who live in the woods.

- Nora, it's so wonderful to finally meet you.

We build our own houses. We make our own clothes.

We're completely self-sufficient.

- Will you be leaving us?

- ♪

- [rooster crows]

- ♪ Life goes on, I said life goes on ♪

- [cows mooing]

- ♪ I can beat 'em down ready, I know steady wins the race ♪

♪ When they try to stop me now ♪

♪ I tell them get up out my face ♪

♪ I've been on some muddy roads ♪

♪ I done seen some better days ♪

♪ Keep on talking, no lie ♪

♪ I don't pay it no mind ♪

♪ I've been, whoo, doing good on my own ♪

♪ So it don't matter what you say ♪

♪ I wash it down with some Kool-Aid ♪

♪ And I just got some peace of mind ♪

♪ They got me feeling great ♪

♪

- [sheep bleating]

- ♪

- [bird squawking]

- Good morning, Phoeb! Good morning, Oberon!

Get back to taxidermy-ing! How you doin'?

I saw you climbing that tree yesterday.

Yeah, all right! You got my nature drip?

Ha, ha, ha! Refilled that bucket for ya.

- ♪

- Hey, y'all. How you doin'? Good to see ya.

Everyone relies on those little cages.

And one day he went in there,

and the cage [unintelligible] and he died!

- [laughter]

- No, I'm just kidding.

- [laughter]

- He's over there.

- ♪

- Hi, Nora.

- [thunder crashes]

- NORA: Oh, holy shit! Both my arms broke!

- ♪

- And I now pronounce you man and wife.

You may now throw the bouquet.

- [applause]

- ♪

- Shall we intercourse tonight, my love?

- Darling, you know I told you several times that what we do

is not...intercourse.

- What do you call what we do?

- Just you singing hymns to me

and kind of smelling the back of my scalp.

Which is great and I really enjoy it.

But I just need a couple more minutes.

- Are you writing your grandmother again?

- Yeah, it's been weird.

She hasn't--she hasn't responded in a while.

I wonder if like, uh, the mail is slow or something.

- I could ride into town and check on the postal.

- That's so nice of you.

I think she's just busy, you know?

- Just like you. Always busy.

Building earthen shelters and harvesting rhubarb.

You are the smartest female I've ever met.

And you know so much about the outside world.

For instance, what is internet?

- NORA: Ah, the internet.

Um, the internet...is like a magical box.

And--and inside contains all the knowledge in the world.

- Maybe someday I will use internet

to research my middle name.

- What's your middle name? - Bukkake.

- What? - Bukkake.

My papa gave it to me just before

he left for the outside world.

And I've always wondered...

what does it mean?

Do you know what Bukkake means?

- Yes.

Yes, I do. I do.

Bukkake, uh, was

a legendary bear

who died for his, uh, bear wife

in the--in battle. Wow.

- Praise the moons for internet. Praise the moons for Bukkake.

- But also...we don't need the internet here.

In our community, we have family and trust.

And that's all we need.

- So, we have a problem. Have you seen the news?

It seems really bad out there.

- No. I've just been watching this new show on Netflix.

It's called Tiger King.

- Oh, I love that show.

- Joe Exotic is so hot.

- No spoilers. I'm on episode two!

- Focus! Stop the music.

- [music stops]

- Shall we tell the Union about this?

- I don't know, I mean, we're so isolated here.

I don't think it's gonna affect us at all.

- Makes sense. But now we have another problem.

You know how the Union doesn't speak to their families anymore?

- Mm-hmm. - CALLISTO: Except for Nora.

Her grandma's really worried.

She keeps writing about that in her letters.

- Do we need to tell Nora?

- No, she's been doing so well here.

I think it would just set her back.

- Yeah, she does do a lot of work around the compound.

- She makes the best cactus bread.

- She doesn't participate in any of our orgies, though.

- I know, right?

- I need to set a virtual appointment

with my chiropractor.

I am getting too old for life on this farm.

- Well, you could use my new massage gun.

It's the best.

- PHOBOS: Stop calling it a massage gun because it is

a travel-sized vibrator which you bought off of Adam & Eve's

Winter Wonder Sale.

- Because it does winter wonders on my neck, bitch.

- Okay, ladies, could we stop hate-speeching each other?

- Stuff it, Deimos.

And you still owe me $23 for that Instacart order.

- DEIMOS: I Venmo'd you yesterday.

- Oh, really? At TheRealPhobos3?

- Oh, goddamn it. I forgot the 3.

- Shut up, shut up, shut up!

What are we gonna do about these letters?

- Simple. Burn them.

- ♪

- NORA: You know, I love it here.

But sometimes I...I do miss outside food.

Like Mountain Dew Baja Blast.

It's my favorite soda.

- What does soda taste like?

- Like magical water with...

millions of tiny little bubbles in it.

- Like when I fart in the bath basin

and the bubbles emerge to the top?

- No, no, not those bubbles.

- What else do you miss about the outside world?

- My grandma.

- You call for her at night.

- I do? - Yes.

I know what you need.

- No. Amos--

- You need a little taste of home.

- Please, please, don't bring back fart water!

- It's a surprise! I'll be back, my love.

- [door opens and shuts]

- [sighs]

- [crickets chirping]

- Hello, Deimos! What are you doing this night?

- Oh, I'm just doing a favor for Mistress Jupiter.

- Ah.

Is this a letter for Nora? - Um, yes.

- My Nora? - Yes, Amos!

Literally the only Nora here.

- This is from her grandmother.

- Yeah, so what? - Um, nothing.

- DEIMOS: Okay, well, let me know if you wanna thwomp later!

Been doing yoga, so I'm very flexible!

- Back so soon?

- Nora, I have something you should see.

- Amos, if it is a raccoon, no more in this house.

- It's not a raccoon.

- What? What is it?

What the--

- GRANDMA: Dear Nora,

I'm not going to lie.

The last few days have really been tough.

Wally was staying at Brenda's when the lockdown was announced.

So he hasn't been able to come home.

He'll drop off food, but he's scared

he'll bring the virus in with him.

So he doesn't want to get too close to me.

He says it's not safe for me to go out anymore.

So, I just look out the window sometimes.

- [dog barks outside] - Aww! Hi, puppy!

I miss petting dogs.

I miss playing Chinese checkers with you.

I miss family dinners.

In case things get worse, I'm trying to save on food,

so I've been eating a lot of ramen.

I've been finding new ways to pass the time, though.

I'm knitting masks.

I made one that looks like a gross old pirate

with a '70s mustache! [laughs]

And I'm watching a lot of TV.

Everything is terrible, but it's like there's nothing else to do.

He doesn't love you. He's just trying to get a visa!

The highlight of my day is writing my letters to you.

I miss you.

The nights are the hardest.

I've been having a lot of trouble falling asleep.

The only thing that keeps me going

is knowing that you're safe.

You won't get the virus out there.

When I think about that, I'm able to get to sleep.

- Oh my god.

Oh my god, they all knew.

Mistress Jupiter knew! And what's this about a virus?

- Nora...you should go. - What about you?

- It's too late for me to go to the outside world.

But I will always love you, Nora Bukkake Lin.

- No, my--my-- my name wouldn't be--

I wouldn't have that Bukkake--

- But we're married. I give you--

- Last name. I get your last name.

- Oh! - Yeah, yeah.

- I see. Then you would be an Aynusslahfer.

- You know what?

Maybe I'll stick with the Nora Bukkake Lin.

- It's a beautiful name.

- NORA: Amos, I really have to go.

But before I do, I think I should give this back to you.

Um, I know that you gave it to me out of love, but I want you--

- You really, you should take it.

- Really, Amos?

- Unless...it is my favorite one that I've ever found.

- Okay, just keep it, Amos!

- ♪

- Mistress Jupiter!

How could you not tell me about this?

- Oh--

- Is that a fucking tablet?

- No, it's a baking sheet.

- Oh, does your baking sheet have Evernote Premium?

- All right. It's a tablet. You got me.

- I thought you guys said all this stuff was toxic.

- JUPITER: So we have the internet!

We just got it because Phobos and Deimos

wanted to play Animal Crossing.

Plus I may have gotten really into Temple Run.

- You guys have just been lying the whole time while there's

a goddamn pandemic sweeping the world?

- The virus isn't coming here. This doesn't affect us at all.

- What about my grandma?

- What about her? Think about yourself.

You were doing so well, Nora.

Don't you feel good? Don't you feel whole?

- Yeah, I've been having a great time cooking and cleaning,

chopping up wood, while you guys

have sex with each other in a pyramid!

- You needed this, Nora.

You finally found your true purpose.

- No, 'cuz you guys are just a bunch of privileged,

post-hippie, ex-yuppie, people from Orange County

who came all up in here because they can.

But guess what?

I can't.

- I don't think it's a good idea to leave.

It looks like New York is closing its borders.

- [ding]

- Oh good, Deimos finally Venmo'd me.

- ♪

- [engine turns over]

- OPERATOR: Please say your name.

- Nora.

- [line trilling]

- Grandma?

- Nora?

- [static]

- Hey, Ma, I'm just dropping off some stuff from the store.

You stay right there. - Okay.

- You still got that spray stuff I got you to kill all the germs?

- Yeah. - All right.

- Can't you just stay for a few minutes?

- I gotta go, Ma. I love you, okay?

We just gotta stick it out a few more weeks

and everything will go back to normal.

- Okay.

- All right, I'll see you soon, Ma.

- Hey! Where the fuck

are those Reese's Pieces I asked for?

- Hello, sir, howdy doody.

Wondering if you have a phone I could use.

- No. Stand back. Where's your goddamn mask?

- My mask? I'm not gonna cause you trouble.

I need a map or a phone!

- Don't make me get my gun! - Okay, okay, I'm leaving!

- ♪

- Okay. I don't need to make any stops

'cause I'm gonna pee and shit right in this car.

- ♪

- So, how you guys been? - Not so good.

My grandkids are afraid to visit me and I'm afraid to go outside.

- Yeah, it's scary out there.

- SIQI: Why I am a potato?

- Wally won't even stay for longer than five minutes.

He says it--if he stays longer, then the chance of infection

will increase by 100%!

- I've heard that if you drink hot tea, you can't catch it.

- Iris, can you move your screen?

We can't see your face.

- Is that better?

- SIQI: How did I just become a cat?

- Siqi! You are impossible!

- What happened to Shu Shu? The screen is black.

Well, at least we still have Helen!

Hi, Helen!

[laughs]

- Oh, which way?

- [knocking]

- Hi, Nora. I told you I'd see you again.

- Wait are--are you the same psychic?

- I met your mom before you were born.

I told her all about you.

- How did you know where I am?

- She asked me back then to check on you

in times of trouble. I think you're gonna need this.

Just keep on going where you're going, Nora.

Go where life takes you.

- ♪

- WOMAN ON RADIO: There was blood all over the place.

It was on the walls and even on the ceiling.

And the murderer had left a bloody note

that simply said, "RIP."

- [sobs] - ♪ I don't wanna sleep ♪

- I need to pee! Not in a funnel!

- [truck horn honks] - Oh, holy shit!

- ♪

- Bye, Ma! - Bye, Wally!

- Are you okay?

- Yeah.

Just worried about my mom.

- Yeah.

- And Nora, who's who the hell knows where in New Mexico.

I--I think I'm overwhelmed.

And you know, we were on track.

We were gonna get a place together

and now that's all fucking derailed!

- No! - I'm sorry.

I don't like you seeing me like this.

- It's one of the first things I saw about you,

your dedication to your family.

- Yeah, but I can't even be with them!

- I know. I know.

- What would I do if I didn't have you?

- I don't know. - [laughs]

- No, Wally, you're a great man.

And at this point in my life, that's all I care about.

That and my sourdough starter.

It's true.

- I love you. - And I love you.

- That's something. - Yes, it is.

- ♪ Games, changes ♪

- This is a good song! - Ah, Nora loves this song.

- NORA: Come on, baby!

Come on, baby, don't die on me now!

- ♪ I believe that fate ♪

- NORA: Almost there. I--I can smell it.

Shit, shit, shit!

Hoo, hoo, hoo, hoo!

Oh, it's smoking. It's smoking.

Oh, no. No, no, no, no, no.

Oh, that's so fucking tight!

- ♪ I try to say goodbye and I choke ♪

♪ Try to walk away and I stumble ♪

♪ Though I try to hide it, it's clear ♪

♪ My world crumbles when you are not near ♪

♪ Goodbye and I choke ♪

♪ I try to walk away and I stumble ♪

- Nora! - Hey.

- Haven't seen you in a while. Where you been?

- I'm a bubble person! - All right, whoa!

- I'm a bubble person! - Okay, bubble.

- I'll talk to you later, I'll email you.

- Okay, bye.

- ♪

- Grandma?

Grandma?

- ♪

- Grandma?

Grandma?

Grandma?

- ♪

- Wake up, Grandma.

Wake up, slippyhead!

- Garbage Boy?

- No.

- Nora?

Nor--Nora!

- I drove all the way from New Mexico.

And--and I didn't make any stops.

And I didn't touch anyone. And I'm not infected.

- I don't care! I love you, Bao Bao! Oh!

- I'm home, Grandma.

- [sniffs] Oh. - What?

- Oh, oh, oh. - What?

- You smell terrible!

- Yeah, because I just ran here from Flushing Meadows Park.

I've been taking little birdbaths in a cesspool

for ducks.

- Oh, okay, well, why don't you go take a shower, dude?

And take off your damn shoes!

You're not supposed to wear 'em in the house.

Ooh! - This one melted on to my foot.

- NORA: It's just--it's such a mischievous play,

because I--I--I could either jump you or I can block you.

And I don't--I'm not sure, uh, which one to do.

And it-- - [whines]

Hurry up already! - Yeah, hurry up.

We're all waiting for you, princess.

Come on! - Okay, okay.

- EDMUND: Uh oh! Don't make the wrong move.

- BRENDA: Oh, I just saw it!

- Mm, yup, it's pretty obvious.

- I am a Bobby Fischer at Chinese checkers, okay?

Don't question me!

- Can you just go in this century?

- You guys ready for some magic?

- Oh, come on!

- [laughs] Oh no!

- [laughs gleefully]

- No. Oh, don't showboat.

- Here, and here, and here, and here, and here.

[laughs]

- BRENDA: Whoo!

- I win! Suck it, everybody!

- Oh, you're such a dumbass, Nora.

I was gonna win!

- NORA: Oh, I'm a dumbass?

You didn't do shit, dude! Look at your green.

- Hey, how about another one, everybody?

- Yeah.

- [clapping] - This is fun.

- Okay, one more round. One more round.

- No, no, I'm winner. I'm getting tired.

- One out of three, one out of three.

One out of three, one out of three!

Come on, I gotta redeem myself here!

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