Original subtitles

to survive

isn't always about prevailing over some

gigantic force

it's about evolving evolving past what

doesn't work

opening ourselves to new possibilities

and letting go

of the person we no longer are

when i died emma went through a natural

period of grief

or as i prefer to call it a transition

transition from one life to another she

fell in love again

continued her journey as a submissive

and it fulfilled her for a while but it

didn't last

she kept wanting to recreate what she

had with me and when that didn't happen

she let the relationship go

she let go of a lot of things most

significantly being a submissive

the desire just wasn't there anymore she

couldn't accept that no two

relationships or experiences

are ever the same she was moving on from

the life she'd known

and it seemed that her sister nadia was

as well

there is nothing better than hate sex

i bet i could think of a few things i'm

serious

ever since rey and i have split up it

has been orgasm

central it's like i cannot stop coming

i've come more times with him being

broken up than i have in our entire

marriage that's actually sad it's the

best sex i've had in my life

how is that sad because you waited for

your marriage to end to have it at least

i'm having it

oh and i'm intentionally making the

divorce process harder

so that it gets them all riled up for

when we're alone

that sounds perfectly healthy you should

have heard what i said last week

it's my [ __ ] house and i'm staying in

it you didn't even like the house when

you moved in

too many windows too much sunlight

you've been bitching the last five years

and you think you deserve to live in it

i'm sorry i don't want to uproot our

child

our child rey or have you forgotten

about her and all of this

of course i haven't nadia but you don't

have a job

and how are you going to afford to live

in it i'll get roommates

we'll split the mortgage and besides i

get child support and alimony oh really

how much alimony do you think you're

gonna get

50 i get 50

and you'll most likely spend on all that

overpriced

garbage designer [ __ ] bed sheets and

[ __ ] these cartons i got these [ __ ]

curtains because i couldn't stand the

windows

and i can spend your money however i

want do you hear yourself

what's yours is mine remember wow

what happened to you i don't know

marriage

um

i thought you said you couldn't stab me

anymore

um

um

um

oh [ __ ]

i can smack you around

me

oh my god

oh

oh

oh my god

oh

[ __ ]

oh my gosh

oh yeah

yes

oh my

oh my god yes

oh my god

oh my

god

oh [ __ ] you i know you like it when they

do that

oh my god

right there oh my god

oh my right there i'm gonna make me come

oh my god

i want you to [ __ ] me

oh my gosh

oh my god the [ __ ] he is right there

yeah right there yeah

yes

oh my god

oh my god

oh

oh my god

oh my god

oh my god

yes

my god

oh

oh

oh

my god

oh

oh

oh

oh my god

he is [ __ ] [ __ ] me right there baby

yeah oh

[ __ ]

oh my friend he [ __ ] hit that [ __ ]

it's so

good yeah

oh my god

right there

all over

oh yeah

oh my god oh [ __ ]

um

you'll

he still see you there's no small feat

given how difficult you can be

yeah well i'm not getting back with him

okay it's better being alone anyways

besides i've got you now nadia this is

only temporary

until you get back on your feet

oh and i forgot to tell you if you see a

girl wearing all

black and acting kind of weird that's

mariah the other roommate

the other roommate yeah i can't afford

this place without two roommates

don't worry you won't even notice her

but emma did know she was there

from the death metal music

to the laundry she left in the dryer for

days on end

and the male visitors laughing in the

wee hours of the night

emma never once saw mariah she was just

this invisible presence keeping her

company

while most people would have been

annoyed by the lack of silence

emma welcomed it mariah was like a

companion to her

even though the two had never met but it

was only a matter of time before

fate or the universe or something would

bring them together

tell mom i said hey i will but you

should really just come

we can have a girls weekend i don't need

a girls weekend

and i definitely don't need to see mom

you don't need anyone emma

make sure the house doesn't burn while

i'm gone i will

oh and isabelle staying with ray for the

weekend so just make sure to call me if

anything bad happens

like the house burns down bye

have fun

that afternoon the house was

uncharacteristically quiet

no sounds of mariah's music or sex

echoing through the halls

it was just emma alone with her thoughts

hello

our level of discretion is my decision

not yours

i control what you do

how you act what you say

what you think for this relationship to

work

we need to surrender

just a little something i'd like you to

wear tonight

this place is huge hello

hello what the [ __ ] are you doing i have

roommates

i just wanted to hear my echo

so what do you like everything like what

let's start thinking oh you're a naughty

girl huh

that's me

yes

keep on manning me up

um

is

god

ah

oh

oh

oh

i want you to guide me with your fingers

grab my [ __ ] knife

me

please

it's so [ __ ] hot

oh god

me

hmm

i want you to suck my little throat

um

oh

um

ah

um

oh

my throat

quack

uh

hmm

[ __ ]

make me

oh

oh

oh my um look it's gonna feel so [ __ ]

good

oh

please

um

oh

oh

hmm

i am

is

look at this

oh my god

um

please

oh my god yes

me

ugh

please

oh

oh

my god

so where's your shower no no showers

what do you mean a shower we're not

dating dude

no showers i've never hooked up with a

girl and she didn't at least let me have

a shower

well now you have

spanking choking

handcuffs that's all fine

but a shower out of the question pretty

much nice to meet you

later

enjoy the show

i was just uh i'm sorry

i'm sorry i i just you know if you're

gonna try to spy on someone you might

want to do a better job adam

sneaking in their room i wasn't spying

on you i was just it's fine

it i wasn't snooping you know it's just

we never met before

and it's a little awkward you know

and mariah now we've met

i'm not sure emma had ever met anyone

quite like mariah

they were complete opposites in a lot of

ways and yet

emma liked her it was the first time in

a long time that emma really smiled

smiled at the absurdity of what had

happened

smiled remembering the callousness of

mariah toward her date

the unabashed unapologetic way in which

this young girl

approached life and then of course she

smiled knowing there was another girl

out there

turned on by kink

so

if you're worried i'm a psychopath you

should be

sorry i invaded your privacy yesterday

it's fine

oh these this is nothing

you should see the type of bruises i

come home with

rope actually works a lot better

what nope does the same trick with

handcuffs and

it's much safer how do you know that

this is

all your stuff

you you've used all this stuff

at one point or another over the years

most of them were kips

from who jesus

i thought you were like

i never thought you were like this

that's an electric wand i've heard of

these things

i've just never people actually use

these

of course but it's not about the pain

it's more about exercise and control and

anticipation

that's a butt plug you're going to want

to warm up to that

how do you know about this stuff

can i borrow any of it i mean

not the butt plug that would be weird

but

i'm into really rough crazy [ __ ] too

so we have something in common roomie

i'm not into rough crazy [ __ ]

electrocuting people is pretty [ __ ]

crazy

no it's psychological

that's what i used to be into it used to

be

it's just not a turn on for me now

these things just don't turn off emma

well it did for me

after that day mariah spent less time

holed up in her room

and more time looking for opportunities

to connect with emma

mariah felt a kinship to her even though

emma did everything to keep her at arm's

length

but avoiding conversation with someone

who lives just down the hall

is pretty much impossible what are you

guys cooking

oh actually i was going to make a

cucumber salad and eventually emma would

have to come to terms with the fact that

mariah

in some ways reminded her of her former

self

i'm sorry if i crossed the line i don't

seem like the kind of person that makes

it a habit

of apologizing i'm not

but i like you look

i know you're probably ashamed of i'm

not ashamed

okay that was me a long time ago and i'm

not that person anymore

then why do you still have all that

stuff

it has sentimental value

whether you're over that part of your

life or not i'm just getting into it

and i'd like you to teach me

teach you what kink bdsm

all of it and what do you want me to

teach you

how to tie a rope how to use a butt plug

no

the psychological part i want to explore

experiment and learn from

somebody who clearly knows

you know submissives aren't usually the

teacher so you're submissive

well i used to be but i'm not anymore

but you were oh this is amazing

teach me i'm in dire need of discipline

and

i want to learn right it's not just a

two-hour conversation

it's about practice and training i'll

train

i'll practice

why do you want this so badly because i

do

it's who i am it's what i want

and you think you're submissive yes as

surprising as that may be

wow i can't believe a place like this

actually exists

i mean i've seen pictures dude

this is legit

do you stick your head in there

are you here for the shock value or do

you have any actual interest

interest but i mean come on let's be

honest this stuff is shocking

for as long as i can remember i've

always wanted something like this

what a dungeon no an experience

something that excites me and scares me

all in the same breath what excites you

not knowing what's coming next

then what part scares you not knowing

what's coming next

every guy that i've ever dated just

doesn't get it

as soon as they find out i'm into kink

they just go straight to my ass and

start spanking it they just don't

realize

the turn on is the moment before this

thing

yes not every guy is going to know how

to properly dominate a woman

nope

we'll find you a good one find me what

dominant a dominant but until then

i'll fill in my

temporary dominant temporary

mistress emma oh boy that's what i'm

going to call you

that's the rule while we're working

together

mr sema that will be the first

and only rule you ever make

submitting isn't just about obeying it's

about surrendering

letting go of every need you have to

control

limitations will change as you change

what scares you today

might not tomorrow

let me down are you using your safe word

good girl safe words know when to use

yours

resist the compulsion you might feel to

rush and use it

pineapple pineapple

know the difference between what is a

hard no and what is simply

uncomfortable the goal is to stay open

and take each day each moment each fear

each desire as it comes

and refrain from judgment no matter how

much you disagree with the task

cute dress

arms up practice

as often as you can spread your legs

allow your practice to become part of

you

an extension of yourself straighten your

back chin up

okay slave driver

practice all of it the physical the

mental

do it anywhere and everywhere that you

can impressive

now try six

get to know your body well what part of

your body responds the most

intensive to touch bring yourself to the

verge of an orgasm

and then deny yourself the pleasure of

finishing

remember that trust is the most

important aspect of any bdsm

relationship

trust must be there or all else is

irrelevant

seek perfection at your craft never stop

learning

never stop growing seven

understand that if punishment feels like

a reward

it's not punishment one you'll know when

it's punishment

you will be asked to do things solely to

please your dominance

those tasks are a way of showing your

gratitude

you do realize that we have a washing

machine right i know

so what is that like your only pair of

non-black panties

but most importantly don't smush

find joy in what you're doing when it

stops being enjoyable

then it's probably not for you anymore

you may relax

so why'd you stop the bdsm thing

well it wasn't really enjoyable anymore

i could never recreate the magic of my

first relationship

believe me i tried whatever happened

with that relationship

well i called him mr frederick

it's funny because he

always knew i was submissive deep down

even before i met him

probably actually be pretty disappointed

now to know that i'm not

he likes being right maybe he was

well at the time that he said he was but

i have changed a lot since then

back to work

so ray wants to move back in really

yeah i think it might be a good idea i

thought you were going to take him back

those are just words anyways i don't

want to start dating again

so you're just going to stay with him

because you don't want to date yeah

but hey don't worry you and i can stay

i mean i really want you to stay nadia

i don't think it's a good idea for us to

stay when you and ray are trying to save

your marriage

why not it's the perfect distraction

as much as nadia pleaded with emma to

stay she and mariah would be moving out

by the end of the month going on

you guys staying here won't make that

much of a difference

it was something that mariah feared she

had grown so attached to emma in the

last few months

that the thought of her being out of

reach terrified her

permission to speak permission granted

i'm worried about what

this whole arrangement what do you mean

when we move out

i'll never get to see you again

you seem to forget that for weeks while

we're living at nadia

we never even saw each other that's

different

i like what we're doing now

i want to be around you i don't want to

be around anyone

but i want to be around you

we'll still see each other then we can

still practice

i do think that this is the right time

to take things a step

further

what do you mean

today is the day you meet your first

real

dumb aren't you my real dumb

no i'm just to stop in dom's clothing

for this particular task i want you to

remember

a few things okay

first your safe word

pineapple second

to trust me and third

remember your senses my senses

yes your senses will guide you to the

right man

the right man so there's

more than one you can't exactly audition

the perfect dom without a few options

can you no [ __ ] no and if you don't find

him today

that's okay you will

eventually

gentlemen you may answer

how will i know which one to pick if i

can't see

i can't touch i can't see with your mind

touch with your mouth smell

taste and when you find someone

that opens up something inside you tell

me

yeah but how will i know

stop trying to control everything mariah

be

submissive not a control freak

this is your first real sexual encounter

in a truly submissive role be present

and enjoy

um

um

ugh

oh my god

him i want him

you chose wisely i approve

hi hi

this is nicholas you are to obey him for

the next half hour

yes mistress you're going to experience

something that

you and i have never done before

are you ready yes mistress

what are you gonna do now

you'll see

i'll bring you some toys

that will play with your body

you're gonna like them i wanna feel

everything

you wanna feel everything what did you

forget to say

sir exactly

if you don't call me sir are you

misbehaving

you will be punished

hmm

um

not that quickly my dear

before i go there i have something

prepared for you

oh yes

huh

all right

is

um

uh

yet

oh it's so wet

you're making me so excited

something more

i have something for you

not that easy

what do you say please give me your [ __ ]

i want it in my mouth so fast so much

better

so much better look at it

open wide

just like that

please please up

holy

i want you to [ __ ] me bro i want you to

use my mouth

not that easy

ah

what

you've had enough of it for now you have

to be patiently waiting for more

i have more toys for you but before i go

for it

i need your hands

let's take this off

ah

uh

huh

i have a request don't you

a request please i want to feel your

[ __ ] inside me

i've been waiting so long to do it

please put it inside me please

i want you to use my little

i don't think you wanted that much

please please give it to me sir i want

it too bad

my little [ __ ] is crazy

i was feeling every part of you inside

my [ __ ] sir

oh you made me feel so good

please

please

hmm

yes nice and slow show me what you can

do with your feet

oh

you forgot something what did you forget

please sir please please i want it

please

thank you sir thank you

nice

please

please give me your call

don't oh things that i told you to write

here

keep stirring

the person needs more punishment yes

i went to see

oh please

thank you thank you

hmm

ah

please

um

no you can

[ __ ] me

thank you

i love you girl

stand up

spread your legs

right

my god

oh

thank you thank you

give you permission to come up

oh

thank you thank you

oh

and i'm gonna stop feeling

yes

i think it's my turn now

i want you to give you what you deserve

i want you to [ __ ] that up i don't want

you to use me until you come

i forgot to work please come here to

come

thank you i think

thank you

thank you

thank you

it's so sweet

thank you sir for my first experience

you're very welcome

how will i ever go back to normal sex

after that

this is normal you can just exist in

this space

i guess he will take care of you from

now on

what about you ryan this is never a

permanent arrangement

i'm not a dom and i don't do this stuff

anymore

you've been doing this stuff yeah that

was for you

not for me for me

oh okay so you haven't gotten anything

out of this

i honestly don't believe you why would

you get yourself into this situation if

you were

so over it because they felt complicated

obligated yes i'm sorry if that hurts

your feelings

look i understand because i was you

years ago and i was so lucky to have

found someone

who understood me and helped me explore

my sexuality

i want that for you too so now you're

just gonna pawn me off to someone else

is that how this works is that what your

dom did to you

this is [ __ ] [ __ ]

no i no don't

mariah left without a word

no note no forwarding address

just one final rent check left on the

kitchen counter

emma tried to locate her see if she was

okay

but the calls and the emails went

unreturned

things had changed that chapter had

ended it was bittersweet for emma

she had found someone she truly

connected with someone who needed her

but she wasn't quite sure what to do

with that you don't have to leave

emma yes i do

you have your own life to live nadia

what about you

i'll be fine i've always been fine

hey cars loaded

i want you to be happy i am

as happy as it can be

don't start worrying i'm only a 10

minute drive away

it feels farther you take care of you

nadia

and who's going to take care of you me

thanks for doing all the heavy lifting

all right that's what a man does

no matter how much we want to stop life

from moving on

we can't things change people come

they go and we evolve

it was three months before emma finally

heard from mariah

dear emma i thought about never speaking

to you again

that's what i would have done if it was

the old me

i would have just run off and found

another guy on craigslist to spank me

which i did by the way

but afterwards all i could think about

was you

how disappointed you would be in my lack

of restraint

and so i thought i would write to

apologize and

also share a few things i got your

address from nadia

i swung by your place hoping you hadn't

moved out yet

but you were gone

she told me about mr frederick and how

you've never been the same since he

passed away a few years ago

he was the dominant you told me about

right

the one that taught you about bdsm the

man who loved you and

changed you i think it's important for

you to know that

you have been that person for me you've

changed me

i guess in some ways you're my mr

frederick

so thank you i know that you said you've

given up bdsm

but i'd like you to reconsider and

continue your journey with me

i saw the joy in your face when you were

teaching me

and i don't think you're ready to just

let it all go

please don't let it go

in order to move forward you have to

make decisions that move you forward

and this was emma's she knew that if she

was going to put her work as a

submissive behind her

she had to give herself one final first

time experience

something that she could always have as

her last memory of that life

so

foreign

uh

hmm

um

um

hmm

um

hmm

um

me

um

hmm

hmm

hmm

any holy desire

ah

let it go

thank you

hmm

thank you

hmm thank you

you want him to [ __ ] your eyes

hmm

oh

me

oh

hmm

oh

oh

oh yes thank you

oh my gosh

oh my gosh oh my goodness

oh

thank you so much oh thank you so much

my gosh

oh

oh

hmm

oh

god

yes

yes thank you

oh

oh my goodness

oh it's so deep there's so much

oh

me

oh thank you

thank you

hmm

hmm

hmm

that was the last day emma ever

performed as a submissive

she had moved beyond that life and was

ready to evolve into something new

i want you to know that this isn't about

your letter

sure it is are you disagreeing with me

yes emma

you can't honestly say that you haven't

enjoyed every moment

of being my dog did i say

that you could speak

you may speak thank you

for coming back thank you for convincing

me to

never in a million years did i imagine

that this would be my reality

what domain is submissive

happiness mrs

you taught me that i still belong in

this world

just not the way that i came to know it

now whatever you do don't come

to survive we have to let go it's part

of moving forward

acknowledging what no longer works for

us

acknowledging that who we were five

years ago

five months ago five days ago might not

be the person we are today

life is a constant journey of

self-discovery and evolution

part of me wonders if i still had a hand

in emma's evolution

you always hear people say that when

someone dies

they live on in those they've left

behind and maybe this was me

living on in emma

mr

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