All language subtitles for The Neighborhood 4x04 - Welcome to the Porch Pirate (English)

I gotta say I'm pretty excited about
Gemma and Dave having a baby.

Friends' babies are like rental cars.

You treat it like it's yours
until the gas light come on,

and then you take it back.

Yeah. And since we're not grandparents,

guess we have to lavish love
on other people's babies.

Hey, Ma, can you, uh, hold the
guilt and pass the creamer?

Alexa, add Baby No Cry mobile
to my shopping list, please.

I've added Baby No Cry
mobile to your shopping list.

Well, Uncle Calvin is sending
over the perfect baby present.

As you both know, I have
a gift for givin' gifts.

Really?

What about the hockey equipment
you got me when I was 12?

I was trying to make you
the Tiger Woods of hockey.

But 14 little stitches and you quit.

And if you think that's bad,

he tried to give me that hockey
equipment for my birthday.

Okay.

So I guess nobody in this
house wants a gold medal.

Hello, family.

How y'all doing?

Me, you ask? I am doing great.
I have a date tonight

with a verified model from Instagram.

What are y'all staring at?

No, I'm just trying to figure
out who your friend is.

My what?

That little dude that's on your face.

No, no, no, no, Dad, stay back.

I've seen this movie before.

That thing is gonna bust out of his face

and take over the world.

Y'all are not funny, okay.
This is just a little pimple.

Look, don't hate because I have a date.

Well, I hope you got a table for three.

It is not that noticeable. Is it?

It look like you got another nose, man.

Stop exaggerating, Marty.

Damn, that thing is as big
as one of these muffins.

- Synced & corrected by MementMori -
-- www.addic7ed.com --

How you feeling?

Fine.

Are you just saying you're fine

because you want me to be
fine? Because it's-it's...

It's-it's totally okay
if you're not fine.

Dave, I'm the same fine I was

when you asked me at
the doctor's office,

and in the car, and on the porch.

Sorry. I'm just...

I'm worried about you.

I don't know how we're gonna tell
people that we lost the baby.

It was just supposed to be
a ten-week routine checkup.

Yeah. Everything was moving
along nice and happy,

and then all of a sudden, life gives
you a swift kick in the puckus.

I think you meant "tuckus."

But, you know, puckus works, too.

You know, my mom will
say this was God's will.

Your mother was banned from
church for skinny-dipping

in the baptismal pool.

I was just so shocked when
there wasn't a heartbeat.

Apparently this is really common.

I guess sometimes it's
just not meant to be.

Yeah, and... I know, but...

this is also one of the hardest things
we'll ever have to deal with.

I know, but we'll get through it

if we keep busy and we stay strong.

I know what we can do.

Let's repaint the living room.

We'll pick a color that's
bright and cheerful.

Do you really think that that's the
best way for us to approach this?

Yes.

It'll help us set a positive
example for Grover

on how to handle grief.

Okay. All right, um...

Great.

Okay, I'm gonna, uh, I'm
gonna go buy some paint.

What color should I get?

Pick any color, as long as it
comes with a bottle of wine.

- Hey, Devona.
- Hey.

I'm making an Alavay Makeup delivery.

Got some goodies your mother ordered.

- Oh, cool. She's home.
- Stop!

She can wait.

I see we have a breaking
news story on your face.

I've got a product that
will cover that right up.

Sorry, Devona, but I am not a
makeup kind of dude, all right?

Oh, no worries. I've got
a concealer so good

no one will ever even
know you're wearing it.

You're right, 'cause I'm not.

Okay, but...

it's only gonna get bigger.

Judging from the size and shadow,

it's gonna blow in about two hours.

Call me.

Oh, whoa, 7-Up cake,

peach cobbler, bread pudding.

What do you need me to fix?

Oh, baby back ribs. Fried snapper.

This can't be fixed.

What do you need me to buy?

Well, the food is for Dave and Gemma,

and, um, I've got some bad news.

They lost the baby.

What?

Oh, no, Mama. That's terrible.

It is.

You okay, hon?

Yeah. Just feeling bad
for Gemma and Dave.

I know.

Whoa, whoa, Ma,

don't you think you're
going a little overboard?

This is a lot of food.

I know, but food is my love language.

Oh, Mommy, you are the sweetest,
kindest woman I know.

Yes, you can have a piece.

Okay, thanks, 'cause eating
is my love language.

I'm sure this is stirring
up some sad memories,

and I know you don't like going there.

Yeah, I-I don't.

So can we not, babe? You know.

Besides, that was a long time ago.

Yeah.

- Oh, damn.
- What?

I just remembered I sent Gemma
and Dave that baby gift.

It's supposed to arrive tomorrow.

Oh, well, you were just
trying to do something nice.

How could you have known?

Well, I don't want to make
them feel any worse.

I gotta grab that package
before they see it.

You're a good friend.

You want to come with me
to drop this stuff off?

Uh, no. You know, I'm
still dirty from work,

and they probably don't want to deal

with a lot of people right now.

You know, just tell 'em
I send my love, okay?

- Will do.
- Okay.

- Devona?
- Mm-hmm?

This right here has got to stay
just between the two of us.

Don't worry, I take artist-client
confidentiality very serious.

All right, good, because none of
the guys I know wear makeup.

You mean none that you know of.

Wait. Really? Who?

Is it Trey? I knew it.
I knew he wore mascara.

That boy got eyelashes like a horse.

The men's makeup market is blowing up.

Even Alex Rodriguez uses it.

Wait, A-Rod wears makeup?

Mm-hmm. He's even got his own line.

There is nothing wrong with a
man wanting to look his best.

Oh, damn. You made it disappear.

Can you do that with my student loans?

If I could, I'd start with mine.

Okay, so I'll drop your
products off tomorrow.

Meantime, have fun on your date

- with the Instagram model.
- Oh, I will.

I may not be A-Rod, but tonight,

I see a home run in my future.

Oh, crap, that's Marty. Uh, close this.

Hey, Devona. What are you doing here?

Oh, she was just, um...

Just showing Malcolm some products

I think your mother would
love for her birthday.

Right. Right. 'Cause you know Mama.

Mama loves all that girly makeup stuff.

Cool. I'll split it with you.

- All right.
- Okay, perfect, then.

- Malcolm, I'll talk to you soon.
- All right.

Oh, hey, man,

did you hear Gemma and Dave's bad news?

Oh, yeah, yeah. Mom told me.

Maybe we should get them
some flowers and-and a card.

Yeah. I just wish there was
something more we could do.

All we can do is just be there
for 'em and keep them in prayer.

Yeah, speaking of prayer,

how did you get rid of that zit so fast?

I don't know.

I guess God just likes me being pretty.

- Oh, hey, Tina.
- Hey.

I brought you a little something to eat.

Hey.

How you feeling?

Okay. Just keeping busy, you know.

Painting the walls, painting the door.

And evidently painting Grover.

Uh, yeah. I guess I'm
a little distracted.

Well, I just wanted to
drop off a few meals,

just in case you didn't
feel like cooking.

Well, thanks, Tina. This should,
uh, carry us through winter.

Gemma, I know I made too much food,

and I know there is nothing that
I can say to ease your pain.

But I...

I lost a baby between Malcolm and Marty,

and it is devastating.

- But you still have to...
- Move on. I know.

That's what I'm trying to do.

Well, I was gonna say

you still have to take
the time to grieve.

Thanks.

I'm just trying to stay
in a positive space.

Good. Good, good, good.

How you doing, Grover?

I'm sad about the baby.

I wanted to be a big brother.

Oh, honey, of course you did.

Grover, I know what'll cheer you up.

You and I are going to the arcade.

I'm in the mood for a
Ms. Pac-Man rematch.

Okay, I'll play some old people games.

I'm gonna pretend I didn't hear that.

Dave, I'm, uh, worried about Gemma.

She seems a little disconnected.

I've tried to talk to her,

but she doesn't want
to dwell on the loss.

Yeah, well, I'm sure she's
coping the best way she can.

Losing a baby...

is heartbreaking.

Unfortunately, there's
no amount of paint

that's gonna cover up her pain.

Well, how about you? How you feeling?

That was your baby, too.

I know it was, Tina.

Thank you for being here.

You're welcome.

Damn it, this ain't it.

"Brooks Brothers"?

Yeah, this ain't for the real brothers.

- Oh, hey, Calvin.
- Oh, hey.

These, uh... these are for you.

Ooh, my camo Crocs.

It confuses the insects.

So, uh, where's your
usual too-short shorts?

Oh, I don't know. Too
depressed to run sexy.

Yeah, yeah, I get it.

Listen, did Tina tell you that
I sent my love? Because I did.

Yeah, she did, and I really
appreciate your support.

She also mentioned you
guys had a miscarriage.

Mm-hmm.

Yeah. That was a long time ago.

You know what, I'm gonna
let you get to your run.

'Cause you know, times like these,
exercise is very important.

Matter of fact, I'm gonna jog home.
Okay? All right. Bye, Dave.

Mama, your favorite son is here.

Hey, Malcolm.

Ooh, your pimple's not
joining us for dinner?

I set a place at the table
for it and everything.

Well, that zit is gone, and
thanks to these smooth cheeks,

my date last night was amazing.

'Cause forget Instagram,

she followed me straight back to my...

to my church meeting, Mama.

Yeah, don't bring God
into your ratchetness.

What, Ma?

I don't know, you're looking
especially handsome today.

Oh, yeah?

- Yeah.
- Yeah.

Oh, yeah. You do look good.

You losing some weight?

Uh, yeah, you know,
I'm just drinking water,

eating clean, working out, doing me.

Oh, good, you intercepted the baby gift.

Oh, no, not yet.

I just saw Devona, your makeup lady,

dropping your makeup at Malcolm
and Marty's by mistake.

I didn't order any makeup.

You know what, Mom, let
me go ahead and grab this.

God knows what else that
lady is hiding on my porch.

Uh-uh, there might be some free
samples in here or something.

"Man-Kup. Strong enough for a woman,

but weak enough for a man."

Hmm. Not any men that I know, all right.

We don't need these kind
of samples in this house.

Wait, wait, wait.
Stop, stop. It's for me.

All right, you know what
I was dealing with.

I have a pimple the size
of Kilimanjaro on my face.

I had to do something.

Oh, so that's why you been
looking extra Denzel.

You ain't drinking no water.

Look, it's... it's not a big deal, okay?

It's just a little cover-up for men.

Oh, it's okay, honey,
there's nothing wrong

with a little glow-up to make
you look and feel your best.

- Thank you, Ma.
- Hey, man, look, I'm with Mom, okay.

Do what makes you feel good.

Although, with this flawless skin,

I don't ever need to wear makeup.

My dermatologist says I have
the pores of a six-year-old.

What in the RuPaul is going on in here?

All right, look, look, Pop,

at first it did feel weird, right?

But then I thought why
shouldn't I do something

if it makes me feel better?

I'm still me, I'm just
a little bit smoother.

Son, men aren't supposed to be smooth.

Supposed to be rough and bumpy.

That's what makes us men.

Pop, those are outdated
gender roles, okay?

Look, even A-Rod has a makeup line.

Well, if you hit that many home runs,

sure, you could wear a little mascara.

I don't use mascara, Pop.

It's concealer.

Well, it's a slippery slope, son.

I mean, today it's concealer,

tomorrow it's a Brazilian butt lift.

I'm telling you. Hold on.

She's trying to say something.

Alexa, what are my notifications?

Your package has been delivered.

Oh, damn, I gotta go.

Did she tell you the name of the shade

of that concealer she used on you?

Oh, come on, Ma.

What? I'm just mad that
you look prettier than me.

Hey, Gemma, look, I'm sorry.
I, uh... I sent that before I...

Oh, no, no, no. It's-it's all good.

I'm-I'm... I just need to
get back to my painting.

I'm fine. It's fine.

- Gemma.
- No, no, no. I just...

The color's all wrong,

and it's taking longer than I thought.

And I just... I need to get it right.

I need to get it right.

Sorry, Calvin.

Don't be.

All right? What you're
going through is awful.

I just don't want to feel this.

It makes it real.

My baby's gone.

Ugh. I just want to be numb.

I-I know that you're afraid that
if you... if you let the hurt in,

it'll just swallow you up.

I mean, that's how I
felt when Tina and I...

lost our little girl.

But, uh, you know,

the more I tried to... avoid
the pain, the more it lingered.

And I just don't want that for you.

It just feels like I'm never
gonna be okay again.

Did it ever go away?

I thought it did, I mean, but...

when this thing happened to you guys,

it all came rushing back.

And I didn't want to
talk about it either.

And now that I'm here,
sharing this moment with you,

I realize I needed to hear
these words myself.

Yeah.

You're gonna get through this, Gemma.

Promise?

I promise, sweetheart.

I got you.

So it's okay to talk about
what happened now?

Yeah, of course, sweetie.

I'm sorry I didn't let you
talk about your feelings.

But that's why we're planting this tree,

so that we can always remember the baby.

I'm still sad, though.

We all are, buddy, but
you know, it's okay.

We're a family, and we'll
always be there for each other.

Even in the toughest times.

The Butlers will always be
there for you guys, too.

- Hey.
- Thanks for coming, guys.

- Hey, honey.
- Of course, Dave.

- You okay?
- Yeah.

Hey, Tina, I hope I'm not
putting you on the spot, but...

would you sing something?

Oh. Of course I will.

Um, what should I sing?

You know what, Ma?

How about "Gone Too Soon"?

Oh, that's a beautiful idea, son.

? Like a comet ?

? Blazing in the evening sky ?

? Gone too soon ?

? Like a rainbow ?

? Fading in the twinkling of an eye ?

? Gone too soon ?

? Shiny and sparkly ?

? And splendidly bright ?

? Here one day ?

? Gone one night ?

? Like a sunset ?

? Fading with the rising ?

? Of the moon ?

? Gone too soon ?

? Gone too soon. ?

- ? Like a comet... ?
- Okay...

- No.
- No, David!

Baby!

Babe...

... did you move my skin toner?

Oh, it's in the upper right cabinet.

Oh.

You know, you've got some
nerve teasing Malcolm

when you use cosmetics, too.

Oh, well, hold on now.

Foundation and mascara, that's makeup.

My stuff is toiletries.

Hardcore, manly toiletries.

Looking for your beard dye, Idris?

Mind your business, Tina.

- Synced & corrected by MementMori -
-- www.addic7ed.com --