All language subtitles for The Nanny s06 e16

Yetta, I love you.
I gotta go, sweetie.

No, you can't
talk to them now.

Okay, here they are.

Oh, we need to talk.
I've got such
exciting news.

Uh, calm down, calm down.

They're not geniuses.
That was Niles talking.

Okay, I'm gonna go now.
I love you too.

[kissing] Bye.

What is the one thing
that separates me

from all the
successful people
in this world?

Success?

-This.
-Oh, no.

You didn't write another
Seinfeld episode, did you?

Sweetie, it's over.

No, no, no.
No, this is a new play.

A friend of mine wrote it
and it's wonderful.

-Oh.
-I'm going to show it
to Mr. Sheffield,

he'll love it, produce it,

I'll be his partner,
become rich,

and finally be able
to get out
of this stinking,

rotten excuse
for an existence.

Not that it hasn't
been a blast.

-Good morning.
-[Niles] Oh, sir.

I got something
very important
to discuss with you.

And I know you'll listen
since you have great respect
for my opinions.

Oh, uh, by the way,
have you scraped off
my riding boots like I asked?

Yes, yes.

Sir, I have discovered
a wonderful new play

-that I would
consider selling--
-Hmm?

Okay, giving,
to Sheffield/Babcock
Productions

-in exchange for
becoming a partner.
-What?

Okay, co-part-- Associate.
Junior. Assistant.

All right,
I'll fetch the lattes.

But we are partners,
old man.

I run the business,
you run the home.

I'm good at my specialty,
you are wonderful at yours.

Now, you wouldn't
want to go and fiddle
with what I consider

to be one of the most
successful partnerships

everyone has ever known,
would you?

No, of course not, sir.
Thank you, sir.
Goodbye, sir.

Thank you.

-Oh, well, I lost
that exchange, didn't I?
-Oh, yes, sir.

[groans]

Well, forget it.
What was I thinking?

She's only ever
going to think of me
as just a domestic.

-Who?
-Oh, no one.

Niles, are you doing
all this to impress
a woman?

Well, maybe. A little.

Sorta. Kinda.

-Oh, are you in love?
-Oh, maybe.

A little.

Sorta. Kinda.

[sighs] But I'm...
I'm just dreaming.

There's no way that
she would ever consider me.

Oh, no, you're not still
writing to Petula Clark,
are you?

Oh, no, no, no. This...
This isn't an infatuation.

No, this is deep.

I think... I think
this might really be it.

-Well, have you told her
how you feel?
-Oh, God, no.

Well, you gotta
let her know.

I mean, what woman
wouldn't be thrilled

-to have you in her life?
-Oh. [chuckles]

Hello, hello.

♪ She was working
In a bridal shop ♪

♪ In Flushing, Queens ♪

♪ Til her boyfriend
Kicked her out ♪

♪ In one of those
Crushing scenes ♪

♪ What was she to do?
Where was she to go? ♪

♪ She was out on her fanny ♪

♪ So over the bridge
From Flushing ♪

♪ To the Sheffield's door ♪

♪ She was there to sell make-up
But the father saw more ♪

♪ She had style!
She had flair!
She was there ♪

♪ That's how she became ♪

♪ The Nanny ♪

♪ Who would have guessed
That the girl we described ♪

♪ Was just exactly
What the doctor prescribed? ♪

♪ Now, the father
Finds her beguiling ♪

♪ Watch out C.C. ♪

♪ And the kids
Are actually smiling ♪

♪ Such joie de vivre ♪

♪ She's the lady in red ♪

♪ When everybody else
Is wearing tan ♪

♪ The flashy girl
From Flushing ♪

♪ The Nanny named Fran! ♪

Niles, I have been buzzing
for over an hour.

What do I have to do

to get some milk
for my coffee?

Hover over a bucket.

[chuckles]

You find that funny?

No, I'm laughing
at the way

that little thing
under his chin

jiggles back and forth
when he talks.

What is this, foreplay?

Uh, Ms. Babcock, let me have
a word with you.

You know,
if you wanna have

a long-term relationship
with a man

you know, other than
my husband...

Let me give you
a little bit of advice.

-We're friends.
-Nanny Fine,

I may have to
accept the fact

that you snagged
my boyfriend

and are about to breed
what should be my babies.

C.C.

My babies!

You do realize
that's my wife

you're speaking to,
don't you?

Of course.

I just didn't know
you were standing
right behind me.

Well, this animosity
has been going on

far too long, C.C.

And frankly,
I'm sick of it.

Now, either you make friends
and get along with my wife,

or there's no place
for you in our home

and I'll have to
dissolve our partnership.

Ooh!

Maxwell, I was just
funning with her.

We're friends,
just like I was

with your first wife Sally.

-Sara.
-[C.C] Sara!

I love the smell of Nair
that lingers when
she leaves a room.

Who are you?

Are you telling me that
all those years that

you put dishwater
in her coffee

and changed her lip balm
for glue stick,

and called her a cow,
you were flirting?

What? No good?

Oh, Niles, why don't you
just tell her how you feel?

Oh, God, no. Not until I have
a successful career.

A substantial income.
A home.

-Oh, God.
-What?

She's never gonna know.

Well, here's what
you're gonna do.

You are going to produce
this play yourself, mister.

And I am going to help you.

Because you're my friend
and I love you,
and I want you to be happy.

Is this your way
of telling me

that you've upped
the number of
baby shower guests

I'm going to have to
cook for to 75?

Well, maybe. Kinda.
Sorta. 100.

Okay, partner,
the first thing

you need to do is
read the play

and tell me what you think.

Very good. Great.
I'll do that.

You know, it's so heavy.

I don't need to read it.
If you say it's great,
it's great.

Now, come on, if you're
going to be a producer,

you have to do the work.

You're right. Okay.

I'll have Gracie read it.

Hey, uh, kid.

Listen, I really screwed up
with your old man.

And I need your help
to weasel back
into his good graces.

Uh, why should I help you?

I'll give you $10,000.

Okay.

-It's Grace.
-Oh, thank you.

Wait a minute.
I don't want you.

You're the little one.
I want the big one.

-Uh, Maggie.
-What?

I was right?

You know, I have always felt
a special closeness to you.

I watched you grow up.

I danced at your wedding.

Did you have a good time?

Well, let's just say,
I didn't go home alone.

She's never been married.

Where's the boy?
Where's the boy?
Oh, oh, Trevor.

[groans]

Yeah.

[gasps] I was right again?

Listen, I have always felt
a special closeness to...

Ah, should be here.

-How's it going, partner?
-Oh, terribly.

Bernadette Peters' agent
wouldn't even take my call.

They've never heard of me.
Me, Niles.

They do backflips
for me at the A&P.

Well, I've been watching
Maxwell and Ms. Babcock
do this for years.

We're gonna have to do
what they do
to get things done.

-What's that?
-We'll use their names.

But then people will think
that we're them.

Hello?

Or should I say,
"Hello, hello."

And you'll have to
be Maxwell.

-Can you do an English accent?
-I'll try.

Oh, but we still have
one big problem.

We can't afford
to send a messenger

to give the scripts out
to people to read.

What are we gonna do
for money?

[Niles clears throat]

Oh, no. I mean,
it's one thing
to steal their names,

but it's very, very wrong
to use his business account.

-Mmm.
-I'll use our joint account.

Yeah. That's what I'll do.

You know, Maxwell gave me
full access to that.

Oh, how much is in there?

Not a lot. He says that
I'm not good with money.

And everybody knows that
you have the first penny
that you ever earned here.

Well, that will pay
for the messenger.

Well, we'll worry
about that later.

-Get into your position.
-What position?

-Your Maxwell position.
-Oh.

-[dialing]
-Well, I'll just call
that agent right now.

[phone ringing]

[woman on phone]Hello?

Uh, yes. This is
Sheffield/Babcock Productions.

And Mr. Sheffield
has a property

and he would like to speak
with Bernadette Peters' agent.

ASPCA.

[woman on phone]
One moment, please.

"One moment, please."
This is gonna be
a piece of cake.

Oh, C.C., you're brilliant.

-Oh, Maxwell.
-Ah.

We make such a great couple.

But I know I can't compete

with that gorgeous
sexy brunette
you married.

Ooh.

I got you.

We knew you were
coming in here.

[Niles and Fran laughing]

-You see, I told you
he wouldn't find this funny.
-Yeah, he said it.

-Now, if you don't mind,
I have work to do.
-Okay.

It was her idea.

It was his idea.

Oh, would you look at you,
Mr. Producer man.

Oh, C.C. is gonna be
so major league turned on
when she sees you.

You know,
women love powerful men.

Strong, confident.
[sniffing]

-What's that smell?
-Nice, huh?

I lemon-Pledged
all the folding chairs.

Well, we'll just leave
that part out.

You know, I've been thinking.
This is such a star vehicle.

I... I really wish
we'd been able

to get a bigger name
than Madeline Porter.

Why? She's a huge
soap star.

Didn't you ever watch
Edge of Life?

Of course, 30 years ago
before it was canceled.

What has she done
since that?

This.

Hello, darlings.
Oh, sorry I'm late.

I was held up at lunch.

Oh, Ms. Porter,
did you enjoy the script?

Oh, I didn't read it.

Much too heavy.

This is ridiculous.

No one is going to buy
that she is
a 24-year-old ingénue.

Oh, sure they will.

We can't afford any lights.

But, you know,
my Uncle Heffy

is supplying us
with the tickets.

And they turn into sponges
when you wet 'em.

Wouldn't it be ironic
if this was a big hit
and they got all the credit?

And we were the best things
that ever happened

to Sheffield/Babcock
Productions.

Maxwell Sheffield
and C.C. Babcock?

Uh, you know
what they look like?

-No.
-Then, yeah,
sure, that's us.

-This is for you.
-[both] Oh, thank you.

-What is it?
-Mmm.

"Sheffield/Babcock Productions
is hereby notified

that they are in violation
of city codes,"
a bunch of numbers...

"Hereby ordered to pay
a fine of $250,000."
[gasping]

Go pick up my dry cleaning,
put gas in the limo,

and bring me
a double decaf cappuccino.

What are you yelling
at him for?
We're the ones in trouble.

Oh, just clinging
to my final moments
as a producer.

Well, on the bright side,

there are still
two theater codes
that we didn't violate.

Oh, no, I'm wrong.

What am I going to do?

All the dreams I had of
impressing Ms. Babcock
have gone up in smoke.

Oh. Why don't you just
tell her how you feel?

I mean, maybe she's got
more depth than you
give her credit for.

Listen, people don't have to be
in the same position in life

-to fall in love.
-Well, that's certainly true.

Mr. Sheffield fell
in love with you

-when you were just a nanny.
-That's right.

And you didn't have
any formal education

or fit into
his circle of friends.

Yeah, but I could fit into
a size 2 mini skirt

and that kind of
gave me an edge.

But that's not the only reason
he fell in love with me.

I let him know how I felt.

Every chance you got.

For five long years.

Well, since you're
so used to telling him things,

are you going to tell him
that we cost his company
a quarter of a million dollars?

Yes, I am. But with
one little change.

I'm gonna blame
the whole thing on you.

-[groans]
-Well, I can't take
the risk anymore.

-I can't fit into
a size 2 nowadays.
-Mmm.

-[softly] There's Ms. Babcock.
-Go talk to her.

-No, what do I say?
-Now. Go.

Tell her how you feel.

-I love you. Nothing.
-What?

Nanny Fine,
you look so pretty.

Mrs. Sheffield,
I love the way...

Oh, I cannot do this.

I have got to
find some way
to not hate you

or Maxwell is just gonna
kick me out on my butt.

All right, from now on,
no matter what you say,

no matter what you do,
I am going to treat you
with courtesy and respect.

-No matter what?
-No matter what.

Even if you're
totally justified
in hating me?

Yep.

Niles and I used your names
to produce a play of our own

and ended up getting
Sheffield/Babcock
Productions sued

for a quarter
of a million dollars.

I'm gonna kill you,
you stupid, useless,
big head...

Angel, what lucky babies.

Look how nicely
the two of you
are getting along.

Now, that's very nice,
C.C. You keep it up.

[whispers] Okay.
Here's the deal, Ms. Babcock.

If you help me and Niles
out of this jam,

I will tell Maxwell
that you're being
nice to me

and you really
don't have to be.

I've got a better idea.

Why don't I just wait
for Maxwell to find out

that you used his name
to produce a play,

and then I won't have to
worry about liking you

because he'll despise you
as much as I do.

Oh, it's gonna be
a bloodbath.

I don't know
what he sees in her.

Fran, I'm a really bad actor.
He's gonna see
right through this.

It's not fun. Don't.

-Tell him what
I told you to say.
-Please, please, please.

Um, Dad, uh, you know,

Fran's in the living room
crying

and I think
she really needs some...

[Fran whispering]
Comfort. Oy.

Comfort. Oy.

Oh, the poor thing.

She's feeling a little more
emotional these days
because of the pregnancy.

Thank you.

Fran, darling,
what's the matter?
Is anything wrong?

Did one of the children
do something?

Did I do something?

Oh. Are you feeling
a little bit neglected?

-Mmm.
-Oh.

Because I'm so busy
working on this sitcom?

-Yeah.
-Oh, darling, I'm sorry.

It's just, there are
so many things
to take care of

before this move
to California.

I've never produced
a television show before.

-Mmm.
-You know what I think?

I think you need to
get out there
a little more.

Have some fun.
Go create some
new projects for yourself.

Uh... And you
wouldn't mind if I...
I did that?

No, of course not,
my darling.

I'd fully support you
in anything you wanted to do.

Anything?

[Maxwell] You what?

[both] She told him.

Oh, this just isn't right.

She's in there taking
all the blame herself.

-She's such a good friend.
-[Maxwell] Niles!

[groans]

-Thank you.
Thank you so much.
-Bravo. Bravo.

Thank you. Aw.

What a glorious
opening night.
I wish I could stay.

Oh. Do you have
another party to go to?

No, I've got to refill
the sugar dispensers
for the morning rush.

Oh, okay.

Would you care
for a donut, Yetta?

None of these have bones
in them, do they?

No. The bear claws might.

Oh, sweetie, I really like
this whole producing thing.

I think that maybe
we should become a team.

I mean, you gotta admit,
I was pretty good at it.

Uh, well... Well, darling,
you almost cost me
a quarter of a million dollars.

I had to come down here
and fix everything myself.

Oh, well,
what kind of a team
would we be

if we both screwed up?

-Niles. Niles.
-Mmm.

You're a successful producer
and you're standing over here.

[Niles] Mmm-hmm.

There's Ms. Babcock,
the woman that you love
over there.

-Mmm. Oh!
-Not good.

-Go ahead.
-Oh.

I don't know
what to say. I...

I'm as giddy
as a school girl.

Yeah, well,
don't open with that.

Niles, listen to me.

I'm your friend
and I love you.

Don't spend the rest
of your life wondering.

Carpe diem.

[exhales sharply]

Ms. Babcock.

Well, I gotta admit,
you surprised me tonight.

You finally pulled off
something bigger
than your shorts.

[laughs]

Oh, yeah? Well, you...

You're a...
You walk like a...

Marry me.

[music playing]

Ma, come on.

Morty's waiting
in the car.

I'm coming.

[theme music playing]