Original subtitles

Honestly, such a thrill to be here.

- I'm a huge fan. - Oh, you're sweet.

I'm a fan of yours.

So "Siege on Olympus."

This must be so exciting for you both.

How's it feel?

Yeah, just incredible.

Um, I mean, it really takes a team

to put together something like this.

And I am just so happy

and proud of everyone involved.

- And I feel nothing. - [awkward laughter]

There's been a lot of talk about the chemistry

that your characters have on screen.

- What's the secret there? - I, uh...

Well, I guess we're just good at our jobs.

- [chuckles lightly] - Yeah.

I mean, we have had sex a couple of times.

[forced laughter]

He's such a laugh!

It's actually pretty common on set.

Everyone's fucking.

I mean, in our case, I think it's that

Sophie and I are fundamentally

incompatible.

And we realized that actually,

we don't really like each other.

That... I can cut that bit out.

No, that was fun. Keep it in.

I thought it was fun.

It was so nice to meet you.

Okay, bye. Thank you.

[indistinct chatter]

[door clicks]

[exhales]

Ow!

You are too strong to do that.

[sighs] That was not okay.

Look, I'm sorry if I'm not gonna play along

with your media-baiting bullshit.

Honestly, no one cares if you think you're too good for this.

You're an actor.

This is your job.

Poor you.

I honestly don't know what's going on with you.

And I don't even care.

Okay.

[phone buzzing]

Also, we only had sex twice.

And both times were absolutely fine.

Hi!

Hi, I was literally just talking about you.

How are you?

[bouncy piano music]

♪ ♪

Advertise your product or brand here contact www.OpenSubtitles.org today

- Hello. - [chuckles nervously]

Hi.

I donated a couple of bags of clothes

a few weeks ago.

I was just wondering... I just never see them on the display.

Why?

'Cause I live in the area,

and I always have a little peek

to see what's... What's going on in the window.

And I... I know that I donated some pretty nice stuff, so...

- Breakup? - Sorry?

We get a lot of donations after breakups.

Or breakdowns.

Keira Knightley coming in once just weeping.

Donated free "Pirates of the Caribbean" box sets.

Wow. Did she?

That's... yeah, wow.

My heart goes out to Keira.

But, um, I haven't...

I haven't broken up with anyone, so...

I'm of sound mind!

I can't give them back to you,

if that's what you're asking.

That's not what I'm... sorry.

Okay... ugh! I feel like

I'm not explaining myself here.

We're kind of

ships in the night here, communication-wise.

I-I just know that you change your window displays

really... like, quite often.

And I never see my clothes.

And I think they really do deserve

to be up there, you know?

Once you donate the goods, it's our discretion

as to how we sell them.

Okay.

Great use of the word "discretion" there.

Mm-hmm.

♪ ♪

[chuckles]

This is nice, actually.

I just... you and I, we never do this.

We're never just hanging out,

just like, you know, pals.

It feels like fun and illegal somehow.

You mean, like, in a pedophile kind of way?

You think me having you over makes me a predator?

No, I mean, 'cause you're my boss.

I mean, I'm not that much older than you.

It's not like I'm old enough to be your mother.

I know, but...

It would have ruined my life.

Ruined my life!

- Have I missed something? - Are you okay?

I'm sorry. I... I'm not okay.

Uh, and if I'm being honest, I'm upset.

Oh, I'm sorry...

- With you. - With me?

When I hired you,

I knew you were a risk.

I mean, you were wearing ballerina flats

and you didn't "believe in peanut allergies."

- I'm still 50/50 on that. - But you know what?

I liked you.

You're not an idiot, and, I mean,

you pose absolutely no threat to my marriage.

- Jeez. - What I'm trying to say is,

this cannot continue.

- Okay, can I just interrupt... - No, no. No, no.

- I need to say... - I need to say my piece, okay?

Because I feel like

I know where this conversation is going.

I love this job, okay?

And I know that I'm not the most conventional nanny,

and I know the kids can say a lot of things about me,

but I feel like what's really important to remember

is that kids lie.

A lot, you know?

And I'm the fun one! I'm fun Jessie!

You know, like, and you need a fun nanny.

And, okay, of course, I haven't been that much fun lately.

I'll be the first to admit that.

And I... I've just been

going through a lot of stuff personally,

but I know for a fact

it is actually good for a child's development

to see an adult cry at a young age.

I fully know that I need to step up,

and I'm gonna do that.

I'm gonna be more professional.

I'm gonna be on time.

I'm gonna be...

I'm gonna be there. I'm gonna be on it.

So you don't need to worry.

It's okay. It's totally fine.

[exhales]

Thank you for listening.

This is not a warning thing.

You're fired.

I am firing you.

Oh, God!

That felt so good getting that out.

I have been anxious about this

for weeks!

[exhales]

♪ ♪

Do you want a scone?

[sighs] Yes, please.

[hushed chatter] [groans]

Why do they make these so hard to get to?

[grunts] Okay.

[exhales]

Oh, I can't wait for that film.

[forced laughter]

Okay.

- Whoops! - Oh, God.

- [bell dings] - Sorry.

Okay, sorry.

Quick survey.

Who here is

working on their screenplay?

Well, anyone?

Yeah? Don't be shy.

Yeah, yeah. Hands up.

That's great. That's so good.

Okay.

Up!

Up you get. Get out.

- No, she's joking. - I'm not.

I'm not kidding. I'm not kidding!

I'm not joking. I'm deadly ser...

Get out. Get out!

What do you not understand about "up"?

Where's the broom? Okay. Here.

Get out. Shoo! Shoo. Shoo.

We are here to sell tickets, not to inspire you.

We are a business!

Take a little walk. Take a little walk.

[groans] Okay, here we go.

[hisses]

- What are you writing? - Just some ideas.

Let me see.

"Toothbrush with a tiny speaker in it."

You need to go for a walk.

So you could listen to music while you brush your teeth.

Sorry. What was that?

Both: So you could listen to music

- while you brush your teeth. - Mm-mm. No.

Get out. Get out.

That is the stupidest thing I've ever heard.

In my life!

Bye-bye! [Sighs]

I see you here all the time, so you can actually stay.

'Cause it's just nice seeing women in the cinema, you know?

- Okay, cool. - I'm just editing my vlog.

Oh, I wish you hadn't said that.

'Cause, yeah, you have to leave now.

Because I don't like that. I don't like it.

Please... please leave. Yeah.

Laters! [imitates trumpet tooting]

She's off. Whoo!

And let that be a lesson to you all!

Uh, what are you doing here?

- I'm just at work. - Just... just working.

Well, it's a pretty slow day, so you can probably go home.

I know you've been avoiding me,

and I know why you're angry.

It was a very awkward conversation.

I was... flustered.

And if you asked him what I said, technically,

I didn't say you had a boyfriend.

It's not about that.

I don't care what he thinks.

It just wasn't your place to say anything.

I know.

I'm sorry.

It's fine. It's fine.

Have you seen him again?

No.

I am actually glad you brought this up, though,

because I am seeing someone new.

I wanted you to be the first to know.

He's called the Babadook.

He's got a top hat. He's really good with kids.

- You know? - Look.

Can I say something?

No.

No?

I like you.

No! No.

- Excuse me? - I reject that.

I just reject everything

about what you just said.

It's actually very hard for me to say that.

You have a crush. That's fine.

That's totally fine.

I had a crush on a guy I saw using a leaf blower yesterday.

It's more than a crush.

Okay, Mandy Moore.

Sorry. Sorry.

Okay, before you decide this is how you wanna feel,

how about you write a list

of everything that you don't like about me?

- But I like... - everything about you!

You know that's not true.

Last year, Christmas party, you got super drunk.

You told me I was stacking the drinks cups wrong.

There's your first thing for the list.

Yeah, because I was trying to help you

- stack the cups properly. - Whatever.

Also, I clearly had a system for that

and you just obviously didn't understand it,

because we'd use the large ones first,

so they obviously go on the left, and...

Don't write that one down.

Actually, do not write that one down.

'Cause I was right,

and I'm gonna reinstate that.

[panting]

Okay. Okay.

I don't wanna sound ungrateful for this job, but...

- Here she goes. - London is fucked.

And everyone here... can get fucked.

Whoo! She's in a mood.

Why would anyone choose to live here?

If it's good enough for Rihanna,

it's good enough for you.

Okay, I forgot she lived here for a bit.

Yeah, it's so sick. Oh!

This is for last week, before I forget.

[panting]

What?

This is so... This is so much money.

I told you, there's some serious cash in the flower biz.

I've never held this much money before in my life.

What do you do with it?

I'll buy stocks. Is that what people do?

[gasps] I should buy stocks.

Hey, you still got a few more deliveries first,

my little Wolf of Wall Street.

- Let's get you going. - [howls]

You like that? Wolf of Wall Street.

- It sounds good. - Okay!

That's the spirit.

Oh...

All right. Good luck.

All right. Okay.

- Bye. - See ya.

Bye-bye.

Hello? I...

Hello?

I have a flower delivery for you.

[bike clatters]

[grunting]

[car horn honks]

I am going as fast as I can!

[car horn honks] Fuck off, dude!

[sighs] Okay.

Sorry. I have flowers

from someone who loves you.

Can you just buzz me? [Groans]

Oh, my God.

[bike bell chimes]

How does a bike get a ticket?

"Polite notice," my fucking ass.

[panting]

Are you fucking kidding me?

[upbeat piano music]

♪ ♪

- Hello. - Hello again.

Yes. Okay.

Well, um, I would actually like

to lay a complaint with your boss.

I am the boss.

Congratulations.

Well, I would like to lay a complaint with you, then,

because you were wrong.

I haven't gone through a breakup.

I haven't gone through a breakup because

you have to be with someone in order to break up with them.

And that... I'm not... That's not ha...

I didn't do that.

That wasn't me, so you were wrong

and quite... Quite rude, actually.

Right.

Yeah.

Also, I would like to purchase my clothes back.

I can't stop you from doing that.

No, you cannot.

[huffs]

Where are they?

Over there.

[chuckles] Okay.

Well,

being the generous member of the community that I am,

and considering this is a charity shop,

I am more than willing to pay double for those clothes.

Oh, you've come into some money.

Yes, I have.

Yes, I have. [Chuckles]

I have, actually.

I have.

No.

No. No!

No, no.

This has been a real roller coaster.

Fuck.

Fuck. Fuck.

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck! [Sighs]

- It's not in there. - Then check your bag!

Why would I check my bag?

I specifically remember giving it to you.

- Then you rode off with it. - Yeah. Okay.

You check your pockets?

Of course I checked my fucking pockets!

All right! Don't go off at me.

Fuck!

Whoa! Stop!

Why would you give it to me this time of the day?

It's like you don't even know who I am.

Of course this was gonna happen.

Now it's my fault?

It's... it's England's fault, okay?

And you're a part of that, so...

I have to go to my other job, which I'm late for.

Well, good riddance, 'cause you're sacked from this one!

- You can't sack me! - I don't work for you!

- Hit the showers! - You need to cool off, bitch!

I am so sorry I'm late.

Oh, um, you're not late.

- [chuckles] - Oh, my God.

Good thing you're here, though.

- I have the list. - What?

The list of things I don't like about you.

- Oh, yeah. - Today's not a great day...

You're a snob.

You're stubborn.

You're insanely competitive.

You've got us banned from most pub quizzes

in a five-mile radius of this place.

You blame most things on capitalism

even though you buy a lot of things online,

and I know that because you get most of it sent here,

which is against work policy.

Sometimes you pretend to see films when you clearly haven't

just to seem smart.

Bod... poser? What was that one?

Oh, bad posture. Yeah, that's it.

Bad posture.

You can hit me quite hard sometimes,

and even though I know you're joking,

it's still technically assault.

Sometimes you're mean, you give the worst apologies,

you give really bad hugs,

and you wear too much perfume.

Sometimes.

And... that's it.

Was that enough?

Yeah, I reckon.

Do you feel better now?

- Yeah. - [chuckles]

I don't feel anything for you now.

Cool.

Great.

What are you doing here?

I have no idea.

I just spent a day doing a shitty job,

because I can't afford not to do it,

because I just got fired from my other shit job.

So... I'm busting my ass

to stay in the city I'm not even from.

Like, I... I didn't choose to move here.

Obviously, I moved here because of,

you know, and... that didn't work out.

So I decided to stay,

and I don't know why I did,

because I fucking hate it here half the time anyway.

People are so... mean here.

The air is literally poison.

Everyone I know here is an alcoholic.

Everyone's like, "Oh, go overseas, Jessie.

Do your overseas experience. It's gonna be great,"

which is fine. That's totally fine,

but I don't anything to show for my time here.

I work at a cinema for

pretty much no money,

I haven't done anything.

I haven't done anything.

And I'm old now. I'm so old!

I'm 28!

I mean, I thought that I would at least

have been divorced by now.

At least be with someone.

It's not like I have any family here either.

[sighs]

I don't have a person.

I mean, Kate is my emergency contact.

Kate.

Do you know how scary it is

to have Kate as your emergency contact?

And I know as I'm saying it out loud,

I can feel myself... I feel like a whiny piece of shit.

I can hear that, but I...

I know it's my own fault.

It's my own fault that I'm here.

And that I'm me.

And this is my life.

And then, I have bod poser.

I-I actually meant, why are you here?

'Cause

you're not rostered on tonight.

[laughs]

Fucking hell.

Oh, my God.

I'm sorry. I've had a really bad day.

- [groans] - Oh, mate.

[chuckles]

Also, I didn't get us banned from that last pub quiz.

- Yes, you did. - No, I didn't.

'Cause he was a dick.

Jessie, you yelled at the quizmaster.

- Yeah, but he... - He deserved it. [Chuckles]

That list was savage.

You told me to do it.

No, but I thought at least it would have,

like, a fun twist at the end.

[both laugh]

I can't believe you're over me already.

Sorry.

- I was kidding. - Sorry.

Ow?

[knocks on door]

Why are you knocking?

'Cause I'm afraid.

[sighs]

Come in here.

Sorry I was a bitch.

Good.

Because I brought you a present.

[chuckles]

Oh, my... oh, Kate.

I didn't even want any of these.

Well, neither did the general public apparently.

They were a steal.

Like, so cheap.

- Great. - [chuckles]

I feel sad.

What's going on, then?

I think I have to go home.

You are home.

"Home" home.

Well, um, you can't.

I burned your passport.

[both chuckle]

Like, I want to go home.

Right.

[sighs]

You can't go!

What am I gonna do?

You survived before I got here.

Well, I don't want some random weirdo

living in your room.

I'll get someone nice, and normal,

and really hot.

You're really hot.

Well, someone who could pay rent.

- That'd be nice. - [chuckles]

If you go, you'll forget about me.

You're not gonna remember me when you're old.

Yeah, I'll try really hard not to.

[both chuckle]

My dear, remember those heady days

when your gorgeous flatmate

brought you back these clothes you never even cared for?

How could I forget the most utterly charming?

My darling, weren't our 20s outrageous?

You bedded a damn movie star

and tossed him aside like a plaything.

[both chuckle]

I'm gonna miss you.

I know.

I'm great.

[both chuckle]

You want a tea?

Yes, please.

[melancholy music]

♪ ♪

[sighs]

This could be the last video I ever take of you.

Shut up! You can't say that.

Kate?

Kate, I...

I didn't consent to any of this!

What did you do?

Oh, my God.

Let's not get upset in my own videos.

This could be the last video I ever take of you.

Shut up! You can't say that.

That's horrible.

[laughter]

Oh! Cute!

Yeah, a little flower girl.

Are you taking a photo, or a video?

- No, it's a video. - Kate, no.

- Aw. - Okay. Okay, go on.

[sighs]

♪ ♪

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