Original subtitles

♪ [ Gentle Music ] ♪

I remember before I was born...

Wadded up like a fur ball in the highly overrated fetal position.

Luckily, I'm not claustrophobic,

but on rainy days I feel a tightness in my left shoulder.

So now that my stepmother's pregnant,

I understand what the baby's going through.

And I'm not jealous at all. Really...not at all.

-Hey, you're not eating your meat loaf. -If I eat it, I'll throw up.

Well, you should at least try a little bit.

Then I'll throw up a little bit.

Are you sure you want to get involved in this?

[ Chuckles ]

♪ [ Singing ]

♪ Sunshine through them

♪ Fiery gems for you

♪ Only for you

♪ Our house

♪ Is a very, very, very fine house

♪ With two cats in the yard

♪ Life used to be so hard

♪ Now everything is easy 'cause of you

♪ [ Humming ] ♪

Vada, try to scrunch these chairs together a little more.

Dad, I'm trying. They're chairs. They don't scrunch.

-[ Doorbell rings ] -Arthur: I'll get it!

Well, I guess we'll just set up more chairs in the library

and pipe the sermon in like we did with Old Man Hasselmeyer.

Better fix that speaker.

Makes the minister sound like an astronaut.

-Oh, hello, Judy. -Hi, Arthur.

-Hi, Judy, come on in! -Hi, Mr. Sultenfuss.

-Look who I found. -Hi, Judy.

Hi.

Come on in.

That's okay.

It's just a corpse.

I know that.

You should be here when they bring in a body

that's been dead a couple of days...

And they haven't found it yet 'cause it was in an apartment...

Vada: And no one came to visit.

Or floating in a river.

Then the body starts turning this weird shade of green,

You know, like watery pea soup?

Vada: The arms and legs deteriorate first.

The body looks like a raisin with four fat legs.

Anyway, this is why I'm seriously considering cremation.

-Judy? -[ Door Opens and Closes ]

Vada: Judy?

I think you lost on the raisin with the four fat legs, honey.

Did you hear that, Dean? You can stay!

Dean?

Yeah, Dean Martin. Look at his eyes.

-[ Laughter from television ] -They're pink.

Exactly! Dean Martin.

[ TV ] The cage is all set.

Where's the bathroom?

- Are you kidding? -[ Harry and Shelly laughing ]

- Hamsters don't go to the bathroom. -[ Chuckling ]

- Did you look in the bag? -[ Laughter from television ]

[ Laughing ]

I got a card from your Uncle Phil in Los Angeles today.

Said he went body surfing.

[ Chuckles] I don't know if I can picture

Uncle Phil body surfing.

-I don't know if I want to. -[ Both chuckle ]

Vada, I want to ask you a favor, and remember, you can absolutely

say no if you want to.

I'm just bringing it up for discussion.

But, Harry, I thought we decided we weren't going to do this.

Do what?

Well, the thing is your room is right next door to ours.

And so we thought... I thought, if you were willing,

We might move you to Gramoo's room and could use your old room

for the nursery.

See, we're gonna be up half the night with a newborn.

-Harry: It'd be a lot of noise-- -You want me to move?

Well, not far. Just down the hall.

Plus, Gramoo's room's a lot bigger, and you get a view

of the whole neighborhood.

[ Quietly ] Okay. No problem.

Harry: Okay, thanks. Atta girl.

[ Tuba bellowing ]

Harry!

Harry!

Harry! I'm sorry to interrupt, honey, but Vada's upset.

Oh, she's fine. She'll love her new room.

Look, we react to every kick this baby gives.

Maybe Vada's trying to tell us something too.

[ Dog barking ]

The thing to remember is you must visualize a spare.

The parabola of the arcing ball must intersect with the pyramid

of the pins at precisely this angle of attack.

[ Scraping ]

[ Whispers ] Shit.

Visualize a spare?

Well, you know what I mean.

So, what's on your mind?

Me? What makes you think there's something on my mind?

You're passing up Archie Bunker to go bowling.

You've got to have an angle.

No. I just thought it'd be nice if the two of us had an evening out...

so we could talk.

-Shelly's already told me all about sex. -She told me too.

I mean, she told me she told you about sex.

I personally knew about sex long before I met Shelly.

I figured you did.

[ Thud ]

Yes!

Ah! Strike!

Not-- not bad at all.

No, this talk isn't about sex.

It's, well, there have been a lot of changes,

and I know you're upset about losing your room.

But the baby's got to go somewhere!

No, it's okay. I understand, really.

Honey, that's very mature.

I'm proud of you, Vada.

Maybe I should just move to China.

One kid per family. That way you don't lose your room.

Hey. Why don't you just keep your room, and we'll put the baby in the backyard?

Don't do that. You've got the whole garage.

Oh, yeah. Right between the power mower and the weed killer.

Dad, I'm kidding. You can have the room.

Seriously?

Seriously.

-Great! -I'm thirteen.

Maybe it's about time I got my own apartment.

[ Thud ]

-My mother can't have any more kids. -Neither can mine.

-She's dead. -It's Shelly who's pregnant.

-What do you think? -[ Sniffing ]

I think I'm leaning toward passion flower.

"It combines the traditional floral scent with the musky aroma of sandalwood."

-[ Boys laughing ] -What are you staring at?

Judy: It's Kevin.

I don't want him to see me.

See you? He can smell you from there.

Oh, God! He's coming over here.

Act natural. Totally natural.

-Hi, Kevin. -Hi.

You look cool, Sultenfuss. You look like a grasshopper.

[ Snickering ]

-What's the matter? -He likes you.

Likes me? He said I look like a grasshopper.

Boys always pretend they hate you when they really like you.

That's ridiculous!

So, if you really can't stand someone,

then you pretend you're really crazy about them?

I don't know, and I don't care!

Kevin's a jerk, and I don't like him anymore.

He's all yours!

[ Thinking to herself ] If grasshopper's a term of endearment,

I've got a lot to learn.

So have you guys thought of any new names for the baby?

[ Thud ]

Um, yeah. If it's a girl, I'm kind of leaning towards Esme.

-Esme? -Yeah, you know, that kind of sounds like

a noise your nose makes.

You know, "es-me." I mean, it's--

-And what if it's a boy? -Well, Harry Jr. Of course.

Dad, when a boy likes you, does he pretend that he doesn't like you?

And if he pretends that he doesn't like you, how can you tell

-that he likes you? -[ Sternly ] What boy likes you?

It's just a question. It's not about anybody.

-Uh-oh. Here comes puberty. -Vada, I think what you're talking about

is the fear of rejection.

See, men will do anything to avoid looking foolish.

Oh, Shell, that's ridiculous. Where are my needle-nose pliers?

Listen, if a boy wants to do homework with you,

It really means he didn't have the nerve to ask you out on a date.

So you'll get your homework together and pretend to be studying,

and the next thing you know...

You're ordering pizza and talking about your favorite movie stars.

So, you're saying...

What are you saying?

Honey, uh...

Guys don't want to appear overanxious.

So if you think there's a boy that might like you,

let him know that you like him...

So he won't feel he's taking such a risk when he's thinking of asking you out.

Okay?

♪ I wanna jump but I'm afraid I'll fall

♪ I wanna holler but the joint's too small

♪ Young man rhythm's got a hold of me too

♪ I've got the rockin' pneumonia and the boogie woogie flu

♪ Some other things and that ain't all

♪ I wanna kiss her, but she's way too tall

♪ Young man rhythm's got ahold of me too

♪ I've got the rockin' pneumonia and the boogie woogie flu ♪

-Hi. -Hi.

Wanna help me pick out wallpaper for my new room tomorrow?

-Uh, I don't know. I mean-- -Okay if I drink this?

It's okay with me. Hi, Kevin.

Well, if it isn't Vada, the grasshopper girl.

Stop it, Kevin!

I was kidding. It's a joke, okay?

We were just doing our homework and studying for the test.

And the next thing know, you're ordering pizza

And talking about your favorite movie stars.

See ya!

[ Thinking ] In the future, I'll stick to asking dad for advice on embalming.

♪ [ Harry on tuba ]

♪ [ Shelly ] Baby, baby

♪ Baby love, my baby love

♪ I need you oh, how I need you

♪ Why do you do me like you do

♪ Haven't I been good to you

♪ So deep in love with you

♪ Baby, baby ♪

I read an article that says if you sing to the baby

-it's a calming influence. -Assuming the baby's a Supremes fan.

Bet your mom sang to you.

Well, if there was an article about it, I'm sure she did. She was always reading.

Yes, I know. It runs in the family. New book?

"The Collected Works of Alfred Beidermeyer."

-Harry: Her favorite poet. -Never heard of him.

[ Burps ] Excuse me.

-How 'bout a nice glass of milk? -With taco chips so I can dunk.

[ Chuckles ]

You know, Vada, being an older sister,

you're going to be very important in this baby's life.

[ Laughs ]

They're enormous, I know.

Is there milk in them already?

No. The milk comes when the baby comes.

When did you, um--

-I mean, um-- -Oh.

I was a very late developer. They used to call me "Shelly two-backs."

All my friends had real bras, not like the training ones I had.

Why do they call them training bras?

-It's not like learning to ride a bike. -I know.

I guess it's just sort of preparing you for the rest of your life.

It's not easy being a woman.

You're telling me.

[ Thinking ] All the great writers pondered the meaning of life and death.

I've been thinking a lot about my mother recently,

Even though I don't have any memories of her.

I wish I could see her just once, even if it were only in a dream.

I know she'd help me figure things out.

[ Man ] "Bless me now with your fierce tears, I pray.

Do not go gentle into that good night.

Rage! Rage against the dying of the light."

What do you think Dylan Thomas is saying here?

"Rage against the dying of the light."

He's mad 'cause they shut off his electricity?

[ Class laughing ]

I think he was referring to life energy, Mr. Phillips.

Which in your case wouldn't cause much of a power shortage

-now would it? -Class: Ooh!

Vada.

The poem's really about attitude.

It's about not giving up.

It's easy to be overwhelmed sometimes,

but that's when we should force ourselves to push on.

Alfred Beidermeyer said:

"To heed the urgent inner voice,

Embracing destiny, not choice."

That's very good, Vada.

All right, moving on!

I want to give you guys a chance to write.

-[ Class groaning ] -Hey, hey, hey! Listen up!

I want you to write about someone very special.

Someone interesting, someone you admire.

Someone who's achieved something worth writing about.

It's got to be a stranger, someone you've never met.

Mr. Owett: I want you to investigate the personal side.

Play Perry Mason, see what you can come up with.

All right? Any ideas?

Remember two things:

Someone who's achieved something, and someone you've never met.

-Kevin. -Elvis, the king.

Elvis, the king!

-Devin! -Farrah Fawcett.

I love to watch that girl run.

Why is that, Mr. Reed?

-N-never mind. -[ Class snickering ]

Vada, what about you? Who have you come up with?

My mother.

[ Class whispering ]

Your mother?

I never met my mother.

I know my mom's favorite color was pink,

And she ate peanut butter and banana sandwiches for breakfast,

But that's not what I would call hard-hitting facts.

-I told you about the pumpkin, didn't I? -No.

Ha, well. I bought her this huge pumpkin for Halloween.

But she couldn't bear to carve it. So she saved it for weeks,

and it ended up under the Christmas tree.

Then Gramoo said on Christmas Eve there was this sickening smell

-permeating the entire house. -Shelly: Oh no.

Yeah, when I picked it up, it sort of exploded and liquefied

at the same time.

It wasn't funny. It soaked clear through Gramoo's Oriental.

-[ Shelly laughing ] -There's still a big spot on the floor.

Okay, we need wallpaper paste. Hey, Steve.

Isn't there anything else you remember?

How did you propose? Was it romantic?

Well, I kind of just blurted it out over a root beer float.

Mmm, root beer float. That sounds good.

Did she mention any contests that she won?

She must have had some awards. She was so talented and all.

She was talented. But honey, I wish I could help you a little more.

It's just that your mother and I had kind of a whirlwind courtship.

She came to town with this traveling theater group.

I proposed on our second date. Two weeks later we married,

and almost nine months later, you were here, and she was gone.

Was it a nice funeral?

Oh, yes, lovely funeral.

Grenaldi brothers did a beautiful job.

Lots of pink roses, and I used the white hearse.

Hey, how 'bout this flowered wallpaper for your room?

How 'bout this?

[ Students talking indistinctly ]

-Hi, Mr. Owett. -Hey, Vada.

[ Bell rings ]

-How's your report coming? -Great!

I have so much to say, I hardly know where to start.

You know, I've been re-reading Virginia Woolf.

She'd be a natural for you.

She led a fascinating life.

Thanks, but I think I'm gonna stick to my mom.

She led a fascinating life too.

I'm sure she did.

-Hey, guys! -Hi.

Vada, he was giving you an easy out, so you didn't

have to write about your mother.

-But I want to write about her. -You're crazy!

What was her big achievement?

-Did she invent gravity? -No one invented gravity. It just exists.

Then what did she do?

Well, I'm not supposed to talk about it, but since I'm gonna write about it

I might as well tell you.

She was a spy against the Russians.

Oh, please! Who do you think you're kidding?

Where did she spy on the Russians from? Here in Pennsylvania?

Not here in Pennsylvania!

She went to Russia undercover with her acting troupe,

and got a lot of highly-sensitive, secret plans sent back.

Just when she was about to go home,

-she got caught and they killed her. -All right.

So when did she have you between all of her acting

and spying and getting caught?

That's simple: She was pregnant with me...

When she went to Russia, and she didn't know.

When the Russians found out, they waited to shoot her...

'cause you're not allowed to kill pregnant women anywhere in the world.

So she had you in jail in Russia?

Well, actually, I was born in Siberia.

Then they shot her, and sent me home with my dad.

Vada, if bullshit wore a bra, you'd be top-heavy.

C'mon, Judy.

Ask anyone. Ask my dad.

It could be true.

[ Thinking ] How come guys talk so much when they have nothing to say,

and girls have plenty to say, but no one will listen?

I used to come down here and sleep on this spot when I was little.

[ Sighs ] My report's gonna be a disaster.

Everything I know about her fits into one, little box.

A box?

Oh, Vada! What a sweet baby book!

It's only filled out to page two.

Vada: I was eight pounds, four ounces.

There's so many programs.

She was in a lot of plays.

Dad said when she was on stage, she held the audience

in the palm of her hand.

What's this? "December 8th, 1958."

I don't know. Dad doesn't either.

Well, it must mean something.

She was obviously very sentimental.

This is one of my favorite things: Her passport.

Oh, Vada, she's so beautiful.

"Margaret Ann Muldovan,

Born in Los Angeles, California, February 7th, 1936."

Aquarius. Margaret's my middle name.

Everybody called her Maggie. Los Angeles.

-Have you ever been there? -No.

You know, they say that it never rains.

That you can barbecue on Christmas Day.

And instead of riding your bike, you just surf over to your friend's house.

Oh, and the place is just crawling with celebrities.

I know someone who saw Walter Matthau picking up his dry cleaning.

Is that why Uncle Phil moved there?

Uncle Phil just needed a change.

A little adventure.

I wonder why she got a passport if she never went anywhere?

Well, you've got to be prepared.

I'm definitely traveling someday.

Why not now?

What do you mean?

How would you like to go visit your Uncle Phil in Los Angeles...

Next week during your spring vacation?

You could do research on your mom!

But what about you and the baby? You need me.

Oh, but I'm not due to have the baby for another six weeks or so.

It would be kind of great.

It would be fantastic!

But Dad will never go for it.

You leave your father to me.

You should encourage her to spread her wings!

She can spread her wings right here in Pennsylvania.

You don't send a child alone to Los Angeles.

She could come back with her ears pierced, her legs shaved,

-and God knows what else! -She is not a child, Harry.

She's a young woman. She is on the brink of--

Disaster.

-Disaster lurks behind every... palm tree. -You're being narrow-minded.

Look, maybe when she's a little older, I'd be more than happy to bring up--

-Hi, Vada. -We were just having a little--

You were just having a fight about me.

Wouldn't you like to hear my opinion?

Of course.

I think that if I'm old enough to accept a new baby,

and I'm old enough to accept a new room, I'm old enough to go to California.

Honey, I know it's fun to think about these things, but--

I already bought a ticket.

What?

I used my own money and got a great deal.

It's a Q47NR, five-day fare, which means that I have to change planes

in Dallas, and stay over a Saturday. There's no exchanges or refunds.

So if you don't let me go, then I will have wasted my entire life's savings.

Uh, I, I-- but, but--

I, I--

Isn't it against the law to sell airline tickets to minors?

Don't tell me you aided and abetted this little scheme?

Well, Vada needed me.

Besides, the airline requires the signature of an adult and--

They forgot to ask for one who wasn't having hormone surges.

Oh, come on, Harry! We're talking about five days here!

I really think we're going overboard for just a simple school assignment.

Shelly: But it's not a little school assignment.

Maybe all of this is happening for a reason.

Harry: Reason? What reason?

Shelly: Phil's moving to LA, Gramoo's passing,

The baby being born, Vada's report.

Maybe all of these are signs...

Signs that it's time for Vada to take this trip.

Signs. Whoo-oo!

Let me get the Loch Ness monster on the phone.

You two have a lot to talk about.

No, I'm sorry. Vada is not going to Los Angeles.

Now, I have made my decision, and that is final.

Remember, don't talk to anyone.

Even if a nun sits next to you, don't talk to her.

-No nuns. Got it. -And no boys, promise me.

Those LA People are all so corrupt.

You'll end up pregnant and on drugs!

Don't come running to me when you wake up in city morgue

with a tag on your toe having been beaten

to an unrecognizable pulp by some surfer.

And don't make eye contact!

It communicates an implied vulnerability.

What does that mean?

It means I'm a paranoid nitwit who's never let his baby girl out of his sight

for the simple reason he's a paranoid nitwit.

So just say, "Oh, Dad," and get on the damn plane already.

Bye, Dad. I'll miss you.

Thanks. I needed that.

I'll be back in 137 hours.

Have fun.

♪ Blue-jean baby

♪ LA Lady ♪

Not too much.

♪ Seamstress for the band

♪ Pretty eyes

♪ Pirate's smile

♪ You marry a music man ♪

[ Thinking ] It's hard to believe that my mother's whole life

fits into this box.

I've just got to think of this stuff as clues.

Or good luck charms.

But I need more than luck to solve this puzzle. I need a miracle.

♪ Now she's in me

♪ Always with me

♪ Tiny dancer in my hand ♪

[ Indistinct chatter ]

[ PA System ] Arriving passengers, Flight 627,

Your baggage is now available on the carousel.

Arriving passenger, Mrs. Crane, please see the ticket agent

at the airline reservations counter.

Arriving passenger, Mrs. Crane, please see the ticket agent

at the airline reservations counter.

Are you waiting for someone?

Excuse me. I asked you a question.

I'm not supposed to talk to strangers, not even nuns.

You're Vada, right?

-How did you know my name? -Your Uncle Phil told me.

-Where is he? He was supposed to meet me! -Hey, relax!

Do you think I kidnapped him or something?

This is California. Anything's possible.

If I was looking for a victim, I definitely wouldn't pick

your Uncle Phil, who outweighs me by about 150 pounds.

Besides, who would I ask for ransom? You?

Are you suffering from a chemical imbalance,

-or is it just an attitude problem? -My only problem

Is that your Uncle Phil's giving me five bucks to pick you up,

-But I don't get paid until delivery. -Gee, that is a problem.

Put that down! I'll call the police!

What are you gonna do?

Tell them a polite person helped carry your bag?

-I don't think you're polite. -Yeah, well, I don't think

you've very grateful.

A lot of people in your position would say thank you.

-Thank you. -Don't mention it.

-I don't even know your name. -It's Nick. There you go.

-Okay. -Thanks.

Oh, great. No cabs.

-I have a gift for you. -Thanks.

No, thanks.

-He said it was a gift. -Yeah, right.

-I don't need you to be telling me-- -Taxi!

Get in! Get in!

Okay, you look like a man who knows where he's goin'.

Where're we headed?

Take the 405 to Santa Monica, Santa Monica to Whittier,

and Whittier to Sunset.

♪ Ooh-ooh

♪ Ooh-ooh ooh-ooh-ooh

♪ Ooh-ooh

♪ Ooh-ooh ooh-ooh-ooh

♪ Come on and dance come on and dance

♪ Let's make some romance

♪ You know the night is fallin' and the music's callin'

♪ And we got to get down to Swingtown

♪ We been workin' so hard

♪ We been workin' so hard

♪ C'mon, baby c'mon, baby, let's dance

♪ Do-do-bump-bump-bump do-do-bump-bump-bump

♪ Do-do-bump-bump-bump

♪ Ooh-ooh ooh-ooh-ooh

♪ Ooh-ooh

♪ Ooh-ohh ooh-ooh-ooh ♪

Nick: Here you go.

See that building? My grandfather built it.

"Budapest Auto Repair."

That's my room right up there.

One of these days, this is all gonna be mine.

[ Machines whirring ]

Uncle Phil!

Vada!

Look at you! Oh, hi!

Hi! How are you? You look great.

-How's Shelly, your dad? -They're great.

How 'bout Nick? Did he take good care of you?

He was very polite. Worth the entire five dollars.

Aha. Well, good to know.

Thanks.

Give it back, Nicholas!

But we made a business deal!

What happened to a good, old-fashioned favor, huh?

Now Irving, our family's been dealing with your company over 40 years,

Now either the timing chain is here or it isn't here.

And from what I can see, it isn't here.

Now you want to come down and explain to the customers

why we can't reassemble the cars 'cause not all the parts are here?

Now come on. I have enough trouble keeping my weight down.

I don't need this flubber from you. Now are we clear on this, Irving,

or do I have to speak with your father? Thank you.

[ Chuckles ]

Yes, yes. I love you, too, Irving.

You must be Vada!

Oh, what a face! Oh!

If I had a face like that, I wouldn't have to yell so much.

I'm Rose. Rose Zsigmond,

-Nick's mother, among other things. -You're Nick's mother?

What, did you think he was raised by a pack of wolves?

-Don't be misled by the haircut. -Oh, mom!

Who knew when I started working in the finest foreign car shop in LA,

-I would also find the light of my life? -Yeah, well, he left out a couple steps.

Look, I've got to get back to these bills. Phil, will you help Vada get settled?

C'mon, I'll show you where you're gonna stay.

Here we go!

Not what you expected from downstairs, right?

Now, we'll put your stuff over here in this closet.

-You can unpack later. -[ Door closes ]

And this is where you sleep.

Luckily, this sofa bed is really comfortable.

I can tell you that from personal experience.

Bathroom.

You have to...?

Rose and my room.

She lives here too?

Uh, that's right. One big happy family.

This is Nick's room.

Are you engaged or something?

Dating. Seriously dating.

You're thirsty. Want something to drink?

Sure you do! Been a long trip.

You see, Vada, marriage...

Marriage is a very big step.

And...

Not something to be entered into lightly.

See, I just...

I just want to make very sure...

That everything is absolutely right...

Before I go jumping into some kind--

Sounds like you have a fear of commitment, Uncle Phil.

[ Chuckles ] That's ridiculous. I'm very...what do you call it?

-Committed? -Committed.

Does that mean that you sleep here every night?

Yes, it does.

Well then, that's not exactly dating, is it?

Vada, I know that traditionally...

You're not supposed to do a lot of these things...

Before you're officially married.

But these are very, very special circumstances.

[ Thinking ] When sex is involved, it's always special circumstances.

My parents had a brief, but intensely fulfilling relationship.

She's remained a woman of mystery to this day.

And you're gonna solve the mystery?

I've got it figured out. I know she went to Wilson High School.

So first thing tomorrow, I'm gonna go there

and get a copy of her yearbook.

That way, I can get the names of all the people she was in clubs with,

-And find out who her friends were. -Then you'll be all set.

-Sounds like you're very organized. -I have to be. I only have five days.

[ Sighs ] So, just point me in the right direction.

I'll do better than that. I'll send you off with your own, private guide.

Me?

I'd consider it a personal favor.

Phil: It's not like you had a whole lot planned for this week right?

It'll be okay.

Hey, here you go.

-What's that? -Ten bucks.

What's it for?

For the mini-bike fund.

Wow.

Phil: Well I know you're not crazy about taking Vada around tomorrow, so...

I just want you to know I appreciate it though.

No problem.

You're a good man, Nicholas.

Phil, I think you should consider...

♪ Doctor my eyes have seen the years

♪ Through a slow parade ♪

I thought my mom went to school in LA, we've gotta be closing

in on the Grand Canyon.

But I'm sure for a trip to the Grand Canyon

You'd charge a little more than ten dollars.

You know eavesdropping is a very unattractive habit.

I wasn't eavesdropping, I was overhearing.

I didn't ask for the money, Phil just gave it to me.

Well look, I know that all you care about

is your precious mini-bike.

It's obvious you have no sense of historical perspective,

-I think we're here. -[ Dings ]

Getting off, please.

Excuse me, pardon, thank you, excuse me.

Vada: Where's the school?

"Due to a devastating fire June 17, 1963

Wilson High School was closed."

I can't believe it!

My mother's high school burned down.

They have no sense of historical perspective either.

It's not funny! I mean, what am I gonna do?

Without that yearbook, I'm lost.

I can't just walk around town looking for someone

with a Wilson High School letter sweater!

-Vada? -What?

Calm down. We just have to ask ourselves where yearbooks come from.

I mean, they don't appear out of thin air.

Watch these machines now.

This is really very nice of you.

It's no problem. I had a mother once myself.

-[ Machines whirring ] -[ Door opens ]

If it's in here at all,

It's in the back two rows.

-Vada: Okay, thank you very much. -Happy hunting.

I don't mean to alarm you, but I'm getting a nosebleed from the altitude.

Just remember the needle in the haystack.

I never did understand that story.

Did someone find a needle or not?

What difference does it make?

A big difference.

If someone found it, we should keep looking.

If they didn't, we're just wasting our time.

Oh, my gosh! Here it is!

Look, here she is. "Margaret Ann Muldovan.

"Newspaper, Literary magazine, French Club, Drama Club

Glee Club, girls' basketball and swim team."

"With Maggie's combo of good looks and talent,

We're sure to be seeing her name in lights."

She was going to be famous.

Year books always set you up for disappointment.

I want mine to say:

Nick probably won't amount to much.

So don't be surprised if you never hear anything about him again.

Can we go?

It's smells like someone left their gym bag in here.

It's the leather bindings.

I love the fragrance of vintage books.

I love the fragrance of chili dogs.

He was on the school paper with my mom.

Great. A full page of Tanakas, fifteen with the initial "D."

-This is gonna be tough. -Don't forget,

the girls changed their names if they got married.

-I'd never do that. -Get married?

Change my name.

What? You think the guy should change his name?

I don't think anybody should change their names.

That way you can find them when you need them.

What if you don't want to be found?

[ Sighs ] Why do you argue with everything I say?

-[ Indistinct conversation ] -[ Phones ringing ]

-[ Typewriters clicking ]

-Hi. -Can I help ya?

Um, yeah. Does someone named Daryl Tanaka work here?

Hey, Tanaka! You got company!

It's too bad about your mom, but at least she went peacefully.

I've seen a lot of people go out the hard way.

What do you remember about her?

Well, we worked on the school paper together.

I remember when the Legion of Decency

declared Rebel Without A Cause unfit.

Boy, that Jim Backus, what an actor, huh? What an actor.

[ Chuckles ]

She wrote this article about censorship and the First Amendment.

She was really something.

Graduation? Some big congressman saying

Senator McCarthy was the greatest American ever.

Maggie gets up in front of 500 people, walks out.

Couple people followed her too.

-Took a lot of guts. -Wow, you walked out with my mother?

Are you kidding? My parents would've shot me.

I was the president of the Young Republicans.

Nisei, second generation.

Hall monitor. I didn't want to start World War III.

You saved a lot of lives. You should be very proud.

Um, I'm trying to find out her greatest achievement.

[ Chuckling ]

She was the first girl ever suspended for smoking.

Suspended from school? My mother?

Everyone was really surprised when Maggie was turned in.

She got kicked out for two weeks.

What kind of sleazoid geek would turn her in?

-I would do it again in a minute! -You ratted on my mother?

Who are you? Hitler's hall monitor?

Maybe you should join a hippie commune.

But let me tell you something, sooner or later

it's gonna be your turn to take out the garbage.

What about giving the other guy a break?

What about living in the real world, pal?

[ Buzzing ]

[ Intercom ] Tanaka, got a minute?

I'll be right there.

Oh, uh...

I'd be a little more careful of who I hung around with.

Care for a smoke?

This'll be great in my report.

My mother was suspended for smoking.

I think it's cool.

You would.

You'd rather have a mother

that's a member of the police state?

Rules are made to be broken.

[ Nixon talking on TV ]

Just ask him.

[TV ] ...that the president has nothing to hide

In this matter.

-[ Engine rumbles ] -[ Tires squeal ]

[ Bell clanging ]

♪ [ Classical music playing on radio ] ♪

-Hello. -Hi.

-What can I do for you? -I'm staying at The Chateau,

and the guy who runs the garage there said you're the best Jag people in town.

Well, Enrique is great, and we are the best.

-Well then, I have come to the right place. -I guess you have.

I'm Sam Helburn. Sam.

Rose.

-So, what's wrong? -Nothing. Nothing at all.

I mean...with your car.

Oh! Uh...oil change.

I just drove in from Chicago and...

-Nice hair. -Excuse me?

I was commenting on your hair.

Oh, are you a hairdresser?

[ Chuckles ]

I'm a pediatric cardiologist.

Oh, you mean you...

Fix the hearts of little babies?

Mostly little babies, but not exclusively.

Sam: It's all in the hands. You know, you have nice hands.

-Do you operate? -[ Chuckling ] Yes, I do.

So, I guess I'll always teach.

You know, it makes a good relief from the operating room.

-I feel I have an obligation to-- -Hi. Phil Sultenfuss.

Oh, sorry. Some kind of problem here?

No, there's no problem. Dr. Helburn just needs

to have his oil changed.

Oh, I see.

'Cause usually that doesn't require such a lengthy consultation.

[ Chuckles ] Well, Rose was being very thorough.

Was Rose?

Uh, Dr. Helburn, why don't you come in tomorrow morning at 8:00.

That's when we open. We'll get you started.

-I'l be here. -I look forward to it.

Oh, I'm sorry. I'll get that for you tomorrow.

Whoa! Made it worse. [ Chuckles ]

Get that for you in the morning. Nice wheels.

-[ Engine turning over] -Thanks.

-[ Tires screech ] -[ Engine revs ]

[ Bell clanging ]

What's with the touching? Why was he touching you?

He wasn't touching me. He was just...gesturing.

-He was caressing. -Phil, for God's sake!

God? No. I didn't think you'd want to invoke God, Rose,

because he saw even more than I did.

Look, Phil, if you want the rights of a husband,

you're gonna have to ask me something.

But if not, you're gonna have to get accustomed

to the rights of what you are.

Oh? What's that?

Right now?

An intimate boarder with mechanical skills.

-Hi. -Oh, hi. How's the investigation going?

-Just call us the dead end kids. -May I use the phone please?

Oh, yes. Sure. Help yourself.

Anyone with taste, anyone with breeding--

A gentleman would choose British racing green...

with maybe a tan interior.

But when you buy a red car...

With a black interior and wire wheels,

You have only one thing on your mind and one thing only.

And I'm too much of a gentleman to say what that one thing

is in front of the children.

Even if I am just a glorified boarder.

♪ [ Radio blasting rock music ] ♪

♪ ♪

Hi. I'd like the number for Stanley Rosenfeld Photo Studios.

♪ Close your eyes and I'll kiss you

♪ Tomorrow I'll miss you ♪

You know, photography is an art form if you take it seriously enough,

which I happen to do.

Esther, Esther, you gorgeous thing, you! Smile for the birdie.

-Hold, hold! -Stomach in, Harold.

Beautiful!

-Thank you. -Stanley: Thank you!

Your mother was something special, Vada. To tell you the truth,

-I had quite a crush on her. -Really?

Who didn't?

She could play basketball like Jerry West.

She danced like Cyd Charisse.

Then she'd look at you with those big, blue eyes! Forget about it!

I asked her out a couple times, but she always said no.

Lenny, Nancy, you just got married!

Look happy! Look Happy! Look like you mean it.

Beautiful!

Stanley: I remember those days. Then we all went off to UCLA,

and she started hanging around with those drama department types.

There was this one guy, Peter Webb, he's become a big director

in Hollywood now.

The reason I know him at all is that we were all together

in this big poetry class with this crazy guy,

-Albert Boderfelder. -Beidermeyer?

Beidermeyer, that's it! What a mad man!

-He's a great poet! -He is?

Did you know him?

Everybody did.

Walk along Citrus between Fountain and Sunset any afternoon.

He'll remember my mother for sure.

It was a big class, Vada, and...

But, of course he'll remember. Who could forget Maggie?

Just one more thing. Does this mean anything to you?

No, it doesn't, but I wish it did.

Well, thanks for your help, Mr. Rosenfeld.

And I'm sorry my mother wouldn't go out with you.

I'm sure she would've had a really great time.

I would have tried to show her a good time.

I promised her when she left that I would never forget her,

and I never did.

Stanley Rosenfeld does not forget.

[ Dogs barking ]

This is the street he walks down every day.

-When he needs inspiration-- -Boy, you're really into this!

He is one of the great poets.

I think it's him.

He's writing.

Hello?

If you're selling Girl Scout cookies, I'm borderline diabetic.

You're Alfred Beidermeyer, aren't you?

You had to remind me?

Are you writing a poem?

No, I'm writing the phone company...

Because they keep charging me for calls to Caracas, Venezuela.

Do you know anybody in Caracas, Venezuela?

-No. -No.

-Neither do I. -[ Alarm ringing ]

"Ask not for whom the bell tolls."

Time for my medication and my nap.

-[ Crash ] -Oh! Oh.

Here. We'll help you carry this stuff.

I can handle it. I can handle that!

Oh, thank you. I'm in the penthouse.

Penthouse "A." It's there over on the left.

If he has a heart attack, you're carrying the body down yourself.

[ Panting ]

At least it gives you plenty of exercise.

It keeps me young.

Um, where do you want this?

Just put it over there.

-Do you still teach? -No, no, no.

I gave it up ten years ago. Actually, it gave me up.

My mother took this course with you at UCLA.

"Foundations of Poetic Thought."

UCLA. My cardigan sweater period!

Her name was Maggie Muldovan.

Oh.

-Remember her? -I've been blessed with a very bad memory.

People say she looked like me.

I was drinking a little in those days.

I'm drinking a little these days too.

I'm sure she found your lectures fascinating.

Oh, I doubt it.

Writers are notoriously boring.

No, they're not.

Vada: I want to be a writer. I want to be just like you.

[ Chuckles ]

Me? My dear,

This is not a country that rewards poetry.

This is a country that rewards gas mileage.

Besides, people don't read poetry anymore.

They watch television.

Don't be a poet. Be a TV repairman!

Vada, c'mon.

Got a place I always go when I need cheering up.

The tar pits? This is where you come to get cheered up?

Look at it this way. However bad I feel,

It isn't as bad as becoming extinct in a bottomless pit of tar.

And I thought I was weird!

You are weird.

-Let's just go. -Oh, no. Wait.

I like that you brought me here.

Hey, what do I care? I mean, consider the source.

A chick from Pennsylvania who wears a mood ring.

This isn't just a mood ring.

Does it work?

Well, it doesn't open cans or anything,

But it's sort of a reminder of a friend of mine.

Boyfriend?

Well, he was a boy. He was my friend.

He was my best friend.

When we were kids, we were gonna move out here

and live with the Brady Bunch.

Then I lost this ring in the woods.

And when he went to find it...

He got stung by bees, and he died.

Do you think your friend's up in heaven now,

Lookin' down on you and watching you all the time?

Well, I hope he's not watching me all the time.

[ Chuckles ]

Let me see if it changes colors on me.

Uh, okay.

But be careful.

It has a lot of sentimental value.

Maybe it'll fit my pinkie.

-Don't force it. -You'll break it.

I'm not gonna break it. I just want to see it change colors.

I want it back now. I never should've taken it off.

-I want it back. -Hey, relax. I'm not gonna break it.

-Give it to me. -Come and get it!

-Just give it to me! -It's right here. Just come and get it.

-Come on! -It's right here.

-Don't! Come on! -Watch it!

-Don't! -[ Laughing ]

Uh-oh.

What do you mean, "uh-oh"?

I dropped it.

-Vada: In the tar? -[ Bubbles ]

It was an accident. I'll get you a new one.

Where are you going?

Vada, wait up! Wait!

What are you doing? You can't go in there.

Oh, no?

-It's dangerous. -Leave me alone!

That ring is the only thing I have left of Thomas J.

I have to get it!

You mean this ring?

[ Chuckles ]

Jerk! You idiot!

You hit pretty good... For a girl.

-[ Rose whispering ] Nicholas! -[ Sighs ]

What are you doing up?

Uh, i--

-I'm thirsty. -There's water in your bathroom.

I want juice.

-Don't wake up Vada. -I won't.

Peter Webb: I think Maggie could've been a major player.

She had talent.

God knows, that face was made for close-ups.

Everything was magic with Maggie!

I remember walking down Hollywood Boulevard.

We put our feet in the stars' footprints like tourists do.

Maggie could not believe it. Her feet were the same size as Judy Garland.

Of course, mine matched perfectly with Orson Welles.

[ Chuckling ] Just kidding.

[ Snaps ] You should call Hillary Mitchell.

She and Maggie were very close.

She's got this funky clothing store over here on Melrose.

I'd call her for you, but well, we kind of had this thing,

you know. It got a little messy.

Thanks.

Mm, would you know what this is?

Well, not really.

Could be the date of an opening, an audition.

Uh, birthday? Hmm? Not my birthday.

I don't know. Who writes dates on paper bags?

My mom.

Whoa! I have got to get the dailies. Gotta break this up.

Well, thanks for your time. I know you're very busy.

You are Maggie all over again!

You let me know if you ever want to be a movie star.

-You've got the face for close-ups too. -Thanks.

Nick: What a doofus.

[ Horse grunting ]

We may go out for coffee after the meeting,

so don't expect us before midnight.

-There's plenty of fruit. -You know where the fire extinguisher is.

If the fruit bursts into flames, I'll be prepared.

You're so clever!

Are you all right, honey?

I'm just tired.

All right. Well, get to bed early, and don't let anybody in.

-Bye. -Phil: Lock the door.

We have liftoff.

Vada: Joan Crawford! Oh, I love her.

There's the Marx Brothers.

-Carole Lombard. My dad's favorite. -Nick: Never heard of her.

Vada: Montgomery Clift! Wait 'til I tell Shelly.

Here's Judy Garland!

My mother stood on this very spot.

I'm afraid your feet won't fit there.

That's 'cause I was cursed with Sultenfuss bear claws.

My hands fit.

Big deal.

[ Coughs ]

What's he smoking?

What do you think?

Really?

♪ She's got electric boots, a mohair suit

♪You know I read it in a magazine, oh

Hey, look.

♪ B-B-B-Bennie and the Jets

Nick: This is a totally barbaric custom.

So, if Phil marries my mom, she'd be your aunt, right?

-Right. -And you'd be my cousin?

Yeah, I guess. Sort of.

But we wouldn't really be related, right?

Oh, no. We wouldn't be from the same bloodlines or anything.

We'd be like two total strangers,

who accidentally had relatives who got married.

Good. I mean...

Marriage can really complicate things.

So, aren't you going to say anything about my earrings?

I already did. It's a totally barbaric custom.

But on you...

It looks good.

♪ B-B-B-Bennie and the Jets

-We should've called. -It's not that late.

[ Door opens ]

-[ Nick sighs ] -[ Door closes ]

-You're grounded 'til you're 50. -You're overreacting.

Make that 60. And I'm docking your allowance for two weeks.

-Mom! -You think this is easy for me?

You go on the town, and I get to be the bad guy.

Look, I don't want you to be some punk hoodlum delinquent,

but I can't do my job as a parent if you don't do your job as a kid.

-It's not his fault. -No. It was me.

I'm sorry, mom. Really. Just tell me what to do. I'll do anything.

Go to your room.

And you, I don't suppose your father gave you permission

-to pierce your ears, did he? -Not exactly.

Well, just don't shave your legs.

He'll never let you visit us again if I send you home hairless

and full of holes.

[ Engine revving ]

[ Door closes ]

-Good morning. -Well, maybe for you.

-Something wrong? -Well, let's say you're lucky you deal

with kids who are under anesthesia.

Well, even without anesthesia,

I always tell my patients to...relax.

Isn't it time for your coffee break or something?

-There must be someplace we can go, talk. -Oh, no, I couldn't.

-You couldn't? -Well, I'm sort of involved.

-Sort of. -Let's just say...I'm involved.

Where I come from, involvement generally calls

for a pretty substantial piece of jewelry.

Oh, well. I don't wear a lot of jewelry.

All right, so you don't like jewelry.

but you do like good music. Liszt, one of my favorites.

Liszt was my parents' favorite. They were Hungarian.

Hungarian.

Famous for their beautiful music, their beautiful women.

Dr. Helburn! What a surprise!

Last couple of days we've changed your oil, relined your brakes,

balanced and rotated your tires,

aligned your front end, and flushed out your entire cooling system.

I really didn't expect to be seeing you for another 3,000 miles.

[ Chuckles ] What can I say, Phil? It's just I feel so welcome here.

And you are.

Uh, why don't I come in first thing in the morning?

You can check out that left blinker for me.

Oh, sure, okay.

I'll see you then. I look forward to it.

-[ Door closes ] -[ Engine turns over ]

[ Tires screech ]

We really Oughta flush out that line of bullshit he's got.

"Hungarians are famous for their beautiful women."

What's wrong with a little flattery?

What's wrong with a little appreciation?

Wait, are you saying that I don't appreciate?

I'm saying, he asked me out for coffee like a real date.

When was the last time you did that?

W-what do you mean?

-We have a date every night. -No, that's not a date.

A date is when I don't cook.

[ Door closes sharply ]

I do the dishes.

[ Thinking ] I'd go to a fortune teller,

but they can only predict the future.

I need someone who can predict the past.

[ Bells jingle ]

[ Door closes ]

Hi. Can I help you?

Are you the Hillary Mitchell who went to school

with Maggie Muldovan?

Maggie Muldovan! Did you know her?

She's her daughter, Vada.

Oh, of course!

Oh, look at you.

Well, it's the eyes, mostly, and the hair too.

And now she's gone. She's gone.

She'll never get to see how well you've turned out.

[ Gasps ] Oh! Oh, my god!

[ Sobs ] Maggie! You poor thing!

[ Cries ]

It's okay, really. I was just a baby.

I'm sorry, it's just...

I've been taking all these seminars to get in touch with my feelings,

and sometimes it gets out of hand.

Here.

Oh, thank you. You're very sweet.

So how did you find out where I was?

Peter Webb told us.

Peter?

You saw Peter?

[ Sobs ] Oh, God!

Oh, forgive me. I'm making such a scene here.

-Why don't you have a seat? -Thanks.

I remember Maggie, and your dad too.

You know, we used to all pile into his old '54 Ford pickup.

"Chuck the Truck," we used to call it.

It was pitch black with red leather interior.

Does he still drive that?

No, but sometimes he drives a hearse.

He's an undertaker.

You're kidding.

Jeffrey Pommeroy's an undertaker?

[ Chuckles ]

His name's Harry Sultenfuss.

Oh!

Oh.

What are you saying?

Um, look, I...

Are you saying my mom had another husband?

Oh, honey.

Back then, people did crazy things.

They sure did! They got kicked out of school.

They married truck drivers!

These are my mother's greatest accomplishments?

I'm sure glad I came all the way out here to find them out.

-[ Bells jingle ] -[ Door opens ]

Vada, wait up!

Just because your mother was married before...

It doesn't mean... It doesn't mean anything.

Maybe not. But maybe it does.

If no one told me about this, I mean...

-Maybe they're trying to hide something. -Like what?

Maybe this Jeffrey guy is my real father.

I mean, look at me.

I have the hair of a dead person.

And my nose.

No one in my family has this nose.

It could be the nose of a complete stranger.

I mean...

I came out here to find out about my mother, and I found...

Oh, God.

Don't cry.

Come on.

The lady in there looked pretty flaky to me.

How about Phil? Maybe he knows something about all this.

At least you should talk to him before you get worked up.

[ Chuckles ]

Before I get worked up?

You don't think this is worked up?

That thing you said about your nose?

It was a stranger's nose?

Well, it's not. It's...I mean...

It's yours. You know?

-Nick? -Yeah?

This has been a real confusing day.

How could dad let me visit here and find out like this?

I'm going to call him and make him tell me everything.

Ah, sweetie, [ Stuttering ] I wouldn't...

Don't worry, I'll do it in my own subtle way.

[ Receiver ringing ]

Harry : Hello? Sultenfuss parlor.

-Hi, Dad. -Hi, honey!

I just called to say that I'm having a really great time.

Good. You should go over and watch them tape Carson.

Actually, I want to see Jeffrey Pommeroy.

Is he some kind of new rock star or something?

Yeah.

-Totally groovy, huh? -Totally.

Ask him if he needs a good tuba player.

I will. How's Shelly?

Ah, she's fine.

Uh, the just doctor told her to stay in bed, get a little rest

and, and stay quiet, just to make sure that...

[ Sighs ] Okay.

Bye, Daddy. I love you.

-I love you too, sweetie. Bye. - My love to Shelly.

Shelly's sick. I have to get to the bottom of this whole thing and get back there.

She'll be all right, baby.

Yeah. Right.

It's pointless to worry.

I'm not authorized to trace licenses for civilians.

His name is Jeffrey Pommeroy and he used to drive a '54 Ford pickup,

black with red interior.

Please?

Give us a break. All you have to do is make a phone call.

I thought I told you to lose this guy.

Nick: Look, Sergeant,

I know I said some things last time that I shouldn't have said at all, but...

I think the phrase was "sleazoid geek."

I'm sorry. Okay?

We gotta find this guy because he knew Vada's mom,

and he could tell her stuff that no one else knows.

You're still asking me to break the law.

No, we're asking you to stand up with Maggie Muldovan

like you should've years ago.

[ Sighs ]

Yeah, this is Sgt. Tanaka from Hollenbeck.

I need a current address for a Jeffrey...

Pommeroy.

Pommeroy.

He may or may not be driving a black, '54 Ford pickup.

Monday.

I'm leaving Sunday.

Could you hold on for a second?

Look, I can't get priority without a criminal charge.

So, charge him with something. Who's gonna know?

Me! I'll know.

Do you want to be a hall monitor all your life?

Hello. I'm going to need this right now.

This guy...

Well, we think he might be going after the governor.

Twenty minutes? Fine.

[ Receiver clicks ]

So, give him a call. The worst he can do is hang up on you, right?

I feel like before I can talk to him, I have to see his face.

How's this for a solution?

We'll take a drive over to his place.

-You can introduce yourself. -I'd like to see his house, but...

I don't know if I'd have the nerve to just go up knock on his door.

I don't think I can go through with it.

Then we'll keep driving. You'll decide.

♪ [ Radio ] Someone like you

♪ makes it hard to live without somebody else

You're awfully quiet.

Do you think I should tell my dad about Jeffrey Pommeroy?

I don't know. He's got an awful lot on his mind right now.

Maybe someday when the time is right.

Maybe.

Then again...

Your dad's got his own memories and his own life now.

I think this is a secret just between you and your mom.

A secret. I like that.

[ Engine rumbling ]

This is it, I guess.

Well, we've come this far.

The least I can do is knock on the door.

-Want me to come with? -I should do this myself.

Okay. Take your time.

I'll go for a walk around.

[ Door opens ]

[ Door closes ]

[ Birds chirping ]

Go ahead, honey. Go ahead.

[ Doorbell rings ]

[ Door opens ]

Hi, there.

Can I help you?

Are you Jeffrey Pommeroy?

I sure am. Who are you?

I'm Vada Margaret Sultenfuss.

My mother was--

Maggie. You're Maggie's little girl.

I was hopin' I'd get to meet ya.

You mean...

You knew about me?

-Woman: Who is it, honey? -It's Maggie's girl, Vada.

Oh. Oh, my.

-This is my wife, Emily. -Hi.

Hi.

Um, can you come in for a minute?

I'd like to. Thanks.

[ Door closes ]

Mommy, daddy, I painted you a rainbow. Come and see!

This is Vada. Vada, this is our little girl, Katie.

Hi.

Hi.

Um, why don't we let Daddy and Vada visit for a little while?

-Okay? -Okay.

-Bye. -Vada: Bye.

he looks a little like me when I was a little girl.

Does she?

I'm glad you're here.

You are?

Yeah. Come on, let's talk.

Vada: We had this school assignment to write about somebody we never met,

and I chose my mother.

She was born in Los Angeles.

And since my Uncle Phil moved out here, I came in to visit him.

And then I looked in her high school yearbook, and I called a few people.

One guy said that she went to UCLA,

Another guy said that I should call Hillary Mitchell so--

Hillary Mitchell. How's she?

Oh, she's great. She's a little crazy, though.

Anyway, Hillary said you had a black Ford truck.

And this policeman I know got in touch with Motor Vehicles,

and he gave me your address. And here I am.

[ Laughing ]

-I told you it was a long story. -That's all right.

You know what? You sounded just like your mother. She told great stories.

Stories with crazy accents and special effects.

-Special effects? -Yeah.

Like switching a lamp on and off when she was talking about lightning.

Audiences love stuff like that.

And your mom knew how to work an audience.

I don't know very much about her.

I was hoping that you could help me.

I'll try.

No one else knows what this means.

[ Sighs ]

[ Sighs ]

See...

The thing is always wanted to work in the theater...

So we drove out to New York,

to Broadway where it was,

Where it was all happening.

And...New York was just full of fancy French restaurants,

And we wanted to get married in one.

But we were totally broke.

So your mom found this little coffee shop with tables around the back

and real tablecloths on them.

And a minister who worked cheap.

When we got down to the coffee shop,

There was a sign on the door that said, "closed by the Board of Health."

By that time it had started snowing,

so we just got married right outside in the snow.

It was freezing.

But it was wonderful.

For our wedding feast, we had a bag of hot roasted chestnuts.

This is the bag.

She saved it.

Well, we didn't have a camera,

so she just wrote the date on the bag and said,

"This will be our wedding album.

This will be a day we'll never forget."

We never did.

Do you have any pictures of her?

I've got something better.

[ Projector clicking ]

We called ourselves "The Appearing Nightly Players."

[ German accent ] Darling, where is my chauffeur?

You don't want I should walk to the stage.

An actress of my overwhelming talent.

[ Chortles ]

[ Door closes ]

She's beautiful!

[ Door closes ]

[ Women laughing and shouting ]

Jeffrey: We performed on the beach one summer.

[ Chuckles ] Everything went wrong.

[ Laughing ]

[ Chatting, laughing ]

[ Applause ]

-Send me away happy. -Send him away!

[ Laughter ]

[ Clears throat ]

♪ Smile though your heart is aching

♪ Smile even though it's breaking

♪ When there are clouds

♪ In the sky you'll get by

♪ If you smile

♪ Through your fears and sorrows

♪ Smile and maybe tomorrow

♪ You'll see the sun

♪ Come shining through

♪ If you'll

♪ Light up your face with gladness

♪ Hide every trace of sadness

♪ Although a tear

♪ May be ever so near

♪ That's the time

♪ You must keep on trying

♪ Smile, what's the use of crying

♪ You'll find that life

♪ Is still worthwhile

♪ If you'll just

♪ Smile ♪

-Group: Aww. -Jeffrey: Thank you.

Man: That was beautiful.

Thanks. You do it. You do it all the time.

-That was beautiful. -Thank you.

[ Sighs ]

She had a [ Clears throat ] Beautiful voice.

Would you like to have these movies?

Ah... More than anything in the world.

It's good to see Maggie again...and you.

Didn't you ever wonder about me?

Well, I didn't know about you until after she was gone.

I thought that maybe you'd be curious about how I turned out.

-I'd say you turned out just fine. -I guess what I mean is,

my mother married my dad after you, and then I was born.

So I thought that maybe you got divorced because of me.

Wait, whoa, whoa! Wait a minute.

Do you think I'm your father?

Well...

Honey, I'd be proud to be your father.

Really.

It just isn't so.

[ Door creaks open ]

Maggie wanted to have a baby.

And, uh... I didn't.

Oh.

She didn't want to miss out on anything, especially motherhood.

It got to be a real problem with us.

I thought she had plenty of time. She didn't.

Anyway, that's why I was grateful when she met your father.

He had the sense to love her the way she deserved.

Most of all, I was glad when she had you.

The baby she always wanted.

I want you to know that.

Vada: And I'm gonna use the movies when I give my report.

Jeffrey says audiences love special effects.

You better ace it. We sacrificed our whole vacation.

Well, it's a wonderful story with a very happy ending.

[ Engine revs ]

Sorry, doc. We closed for business at 3:00 today.

[ Door closes ]

This isn't business.

You know, I found this wonderful little Hungarian restaurant

that makes its own strudel.

I thought you might like a taste of the old country.

See, there's apple in there, and cherry, and this is cheese.

But I gotta say I think the cherry is really...

Phil: Okay, that does it. That does it. The strudel does it.

First it's the brakes, then it's the light...

I mean, I'm not going to let some podiatrist with a Jaguar full

of strudel come waltzing in here and--

I'm not a podiatrist. I'm a cardiologist.

Who cares? Rose, tell him we have an arrangement.

-Well, what kind of arrangement? -Yes, what kind of arrangement?

I'd be interested to know what kind of arrangement we have.

You know exactly what kind it is.

Come on, Rose, what do you want from me?

I don't want anything you don't want to give me.

And you certainly shouldn't settle for any less than you deserve.

You stay out of this! Look, if I had a red XK150

with black interior, I sure as hell wouldn't be handing out

relationship advice.

I don't think the color of the interior is--

Rose, this is not the place to be having this--

I think this place is just fine.

You know how I feel about you.

You like the way I cook? You think I make out a great invoice?

You and Nick and this garage are my whole life.

I love you.

Sure, you don't have the greatest taste in music,

but there's not another woman who could look so sexy in that smock.

What I'm try-- what I'm trying--

What I mean to say--

Rose, will you marry me?

You really think I look sexy in a smock?

Is that a "yes"?

[ Sighs ]

[ Jet engines buzzing ]

Thanks for everything. You're the best.

No, you're the best, and I don't want you talking to anybody on the plane.

Dad already gave me this lecture.

He's gonna meet me at the airport.

Then we'll go for some pizza and have dinner in bed with Shelly.

Sounds great. Well, you give 'em both one of these for me.

Bye, Aunt Rose.

Bye, niece Vada.

Thanks.

Well, bye.

Um, listen, I'm sorry.

You had to sacrifice your entire vacation.

Some sacrifices are worth it.

You mean, it wasn't that terrible?

I wouldn't say it was terrible.

It was kind of...

An adventure?

Part adventure...

Part miracle.

Write me a poem?

-No? -I'll write you ten poems.

[ PA System ] Ladies and gentlemen, this is your final boarding call.

-Bye. -Bye.

Look in your backpack.

Okay.

♪ Ah, ah, ahh...

♪ Ah, ah, ahh...

[ Seat belt sign beeps ]

♪ Well, it's been building up inside of me

♪ For, oh, I don't know how long

♪ I don't know why, but I keep thinking

♪ Something's bound to go wrong

♪ But she looks in my eyes

♪ And makes me realize

♪ And she says don't worry, baby ♪

[ Thinking ] "In memory of barbaric customs. Love, Nick."

♪ Don't worry, baby don't worry, baby ♪

Life is full of barbaric customs.

I just hope they all end with a kiss like that.

[ Plane screeching ]

[ Indistinct conversation ]

-Arthur, where's my dad? -Well, he took Shelly to the hospital.

-Is she okay? -Well, she was making a lot of noise.

-[ Motor running ] -[ Tires screech ]

-[ Phones ringing ] -[ Voices over PA system ]

Dad!

-What happened to Shelly? -She just had a baby, that's all.

-We have a baby? -Mm-hmm. A boy.

You've got a new brother.

-Can I see him? -You can do anything you want.

You're his sister.

Hey, what's on your ear?

-Shelly? -Hey!

[ Baby coos ]

Mmm, look.

-[ Laughing ] -He's so tiny.

I know. Look at his little hands.

I'm sorry I couldn't come pick you up, honey.

Oh, I was pushing as fast as I could.

Did it hurt a lot?

[ Chuckling ] You have no idea.

-[ Crying ] -Shh.

-Here. Let me hold him. -Okay.

-Got his head? -Yeah.

You like that. Yes.

Maybe he's wet.

Maybe he's hungry.

He's okay. You just have to sing to him.

♪ Smile though your heart is aching

♪ Smile even though it's breaking

♪ Although a tear

♪ May be ever so near

♪ That's the time

♪ You must keep on trying

♪ Smile, what's the use of crying

♪ You'll find that life is still worthwhile

♪ If you'll just smile ♪

[ Thinking ] Thing's haven't exactly calmed down around here.

I got an A+ on the report.

Dad's getting used to my pierced ears, and Nick's coming to visit this summer.

Other than that, I'm busy being a big sister.

I like to tell my brother about my mom.

How I got to meet her friends and find out how special she was.

I mean, she may not have her footprints in cement,

but she definitely left her imprint on the world.

And I told him that even though it sounds conceited,

her greatest achievement was me.

♪ [ "My Girl" performed by The Temptations ] ♪