All language subtitles for Bobs Burgers s12e03 The Pumpkinening.eng

♪ ♪

LINDA: Oh, my God.
GAYLE: So, we smashed

all the pumpkins...
Yep.

in the pumpkin contest.
Yep.

And Principal Rosenthal

is supposed to announce
the winner tomorrow.

We have to promise each other
to never speak of this again.

BOTH:
We'll never speak of this again.

(thud)
Wait, what was that?

I don't know.
Let's get out of here.

Ugh, Gayle,
what was that on your finger?

It smells terrible.
How do you know it isn't your finger?

Oh, yeah. It's me.

♪ Goblins, ghouls and ghosts ♪

♪ And bears,
why'd I say bears? ♪

♪ I don't know, they're scary ♪

♪ It's Halloween. ♪ Aah!
(door opens)

Oh, Mike. Ooh, are you dressed
as a mailman for Halloween?

Just kidding. Ha!

That's very funny.
Here's your mail.

And here's some candy.
I think those are cough drops.

Nah, they taste like
cough drops,

but they're technically candy.

They're very good, Mike.
Try one.

I think I'll just wait
until I can eat real candy. Bye.

Hey, kids.
Hi, Mr. Mailman.

I mean, Mr. Mike.
(gasps) Costume parade.

Wow. You kids look great.

I'm a Gradiator, a gladiator
who just got his master's.

Ooh, smart and historical.

Tina, let me guess. You're a...

dinosaur.
Nice try.

I'm the Sherlockness Monster.

I'm a mystery
who solves mysteries.

Oh, I love it.
Louise, uh, what about you?

I'm Peter Pan's Labyrinth.

That's terrifying.

What? This?
Linda, make her stop.

Louise,
stop scaring your father.

No.
Hey, you kids put your costumes on

a little early this year,
didn't you?

You're gonna help out down here

before you go trickortreating,
right?

We put 'em on early
so they can stretch out.

Each of us
is gonna go up a size tonight.

All right, well,
start wiping menus

and keep an eye out
for any little kids

that are
trickortreating early.

Ugh.
Not looking forward to seeing

the sad looks
in their little eyes

when I give them Dad's
quote, unquote "candy."

That candy is sophisticated,

and some people
just don't get it.

It tastes like old leaves.

Yeah.
That's what they were going for.

Oh, quick thing. Your Aunt Gayle
is gonna be here any minute.

Do not say
how good my hair looks.

Even though I just had it done
and it looks amazing.

Let's just tamp down
the compliments, okay?

That's gonna be hard, Mom.
You look... (kisses)

Why are we tamping again?

It's just,
Gayle's doing so well lately

and I don't want to mess
with that, you know?

Did you know she's working
with a life coach?

Is that someone who coaches her
to be better at that board game?

I don't think so.
BOB: Wait,

we're not paying
for this life coach, are we?

I think the first two sessions
are free.

So she just has to fix her life
in two sessions.

I don't think Aunt Gayle
is a twosession lady.

Shush, shush, shush,
here she comes.

Hey, Gayle.
Hi, kids.

Linda, I need to speak
with you in private.

My world is crumbling around me!

Yeah, I think
she's in a good place.

Bob, we need the kitchen.

Little sister talk.
Okay.

Uh, I was just wiping stuff,
but I can go wipe other stuff.

So, what is going on, Gayle?

I got a strange letter
in the mail today. Look.

LINDA:
"Pumpkin smasher!"

(gasps)
Yeah, Linda.

Because of what we did

27 years ago.

But it's crazy.
I mean, maybe it's just a flyer

for a Smashing Pumpkins concert.

I already considered that.

But I looked it up
and they're in Italy this week

playing the pope's birthday.

Okay, maybe you're right.

Maybe this is about that day.

But who would send this?

I don't know.
What do we do? What do we do?

Let me get you some lunch.
I think you're just hoopy.

That's my expression
for hungry and loopy. Hoopy.

Bob, Gayle needs a burger.
She's hoopy.

So go back in the kitchen.

We didn't try to listen
through the passthrough at all.

But if we had,
we would've had trouble hearing.

Could you talk louder next time?

All right, sit here.
Relax. Breathe.

(gasps)
Not like that.

No. Linda, your mail.

Look!
That's the same envelope I got.

Wait, what? That's weird.
(gasps)

Is it a letter
from Hugh Jackman?

Uh, yeah.
It's just, uh...

It's just Hugh Jackman.
That's right. Nice.

Uh, Gayle.
Uh, kitchen.

Bob, sorry.
We need the room. Again.

Uh, okay.
Uh, flip this in a minute.

Yeah.
Yeah, I got it. Yeah.

Sounds like you're not
gonna do it. It's fine.

(door closes)
"Pumpkin smasher!"

Who the hell is sending these?

That's what I was saying.

I know.
Gayle, let me think.

TINA:
Talk louder.

Kids, shoo!
LOUISE: Ugh, fine.

(Gene groans)
Bob, hold the kids down.

BOB: Did you flip the burger?
Yep.

Yep, so much.

Okay, something's going on.

Someone's messing with us.

We need to go back home.
What? Why?

Because we need to find out
who's messing with us.

I say we ignore 'em.
Throw 'em away. (grunts)

Take that, letter.
(grunts)

My life coach, Dane Kang,

says you have to confront
your past.

So you can either
hide your head in your butt

or you can come with me
and we face this together.

Also, my license is suspended
'cause I let my cat drive.

Little bit.
So I need a ride.

Uh, all right.
Uh, let me talk to Bob.

Bob, do you remember that
terrible secret I told you about

that Gayle and I did
in high school?

When you pooped
in the convertible?

No, different secret.
Worse.

The pumpkin contest thing?
Yeah.

Yeah. II think the convertible
thing was worse, but...

Look at this.
Whoa. That's weird.

Gayle got one, too.
She wants to go back home

and figure out who sent 'em,
and I think

I have to go with her.
No, you don't.

I'll be back before the kids
leave to trickortreat.

Oh, God.
I thought it would be fun

to be
in one of these secret meetings,

but it's not.
Now kiss me

like it's the last time
you'll see me. Wait, what?

No, nothing.
Just kiss me regular.

LOUISE: Sick!
I didn't even know you were dating.

I'll be back.
Maybe. Probably.

Uh, everything's fine.
Love you. Bye.

♪ ♪

(floor creaking)

(gasps)
Gayle, what are you doing here?

Did you follow me?
I always follow you.

You should turn around
more often. Why'd you come here?

I, uh... I just wanted
to give my pumpkin some eyebrows

so he can make more expressions.

Yeah, that's a good point.
But you're not allowed

to change it
the night before the contest.

It's not fair for the rest of us

and my pumpkin,
Mr. Face Holes, over here. I know.

I was just embarrassed
by how bad mine was

compared to your...
Whoa! WhWhoa! Aah!

Oh, my God. Linda!
Whoops.

I'm such a klutzobuttso.

All right,
let's just clean this up

and get out of here.
Okay.

Whoa, whoa, whoa. Whoa!

Gayle, no! No, no! Oh, my God.
(grunts)

Are you okay?
Yeah.

I broke my fall with my wrists
like you're supposed to.

Oh, this is bad, Gayle.

You smashed one, too.

Yeah, but that was mine.

You smashed someone else's.

How the heck
are we gonna explain this?

Oh, God, you're right.
What are we gonna do?

We got to tell somebody.
It's not our faul...

Oh, whoa!

Why did they put
these stupid pumpkins

so close to the edge
of the table?

So, now we have to tell someone

that we smashed three pumpkins.
Or...

we push over the whole thing,
smash all the pumpkins,

pull out a screw in the table,
make it look like an accident

and slip out of here
without anybody seeing us.

Are you serious?
Linda, we could get in big trouble.

It would send us
down a dark path in life.

You in jail, me on the run
with an endless list of lovers.

Gayle.
Sorry.

Okay, let's do it. Oh,
you're already doing it. Okay. (grunts)

Goodbye, Mr. Face Holes.

(both grunt)

LOUISE:
So, let me get this straight.

Mom and Aunt Gayle
just disappeared

on a mysterious mission?

She just has to tend

to a little business
in Hunkawtaway.

Uhhuh. Uhhuh.
Tend to a little business, yeah.

That doesn't sound shady at all.

Is Mom a Breaking Bad?

No. She's just supporting
your Aunt Gayle.

Are Mom and Aunt Gayle
getting new boobs together?

Or switching boobs?

- Like Face/Off but Boob/
- Off?

Mm... no.
(door opens) BOY: Trick or treat.

BOB: Oh, we got
our first trickortreater.

Hi, there.
Happy Halloween.

Here you go.
Uh, take a few of these.

Um, do you have
anything different?

These are actually pretty good.
KIDS: Eh.

JJust try one.
Youyou might like it.

He doesn't want one, sir.
Come on, buddy. Let's go.

How does he know
he doesn't want it?

He never tried one.
(door opens)

Trick or treat.
Don't go here.

Bye.

Wait, no. Oh, my God.
(door closes)

We're officially
a "don't go there" place.

You live
by the weird, old candy,

you die by the weird, old candy.

All right, we're closing
for a little bit.

I'm gonna go buy
different candy.

Stay here.
Lock the door behind me.

You sweep, you dustpan,

you, um, make sure
they sweep and dustpan.

You know we're not gonna
do any of that stuff, right?

I know, I know.
Just pretend, please.

I'm pretending we're done.
Mm.

Okay. "Who sent us
those letters?" brainstorm. Go.

It has to be somebody
who saw us that night.

But who?
We were so careful.

I mean, were we?
Wait a minute.

What about Marty DeblusioKlein?
Remember?

We bumped into him
on our way out of school.

GAYLE:
(gasps) That's right.

LINDA:
He came back because he forgot his trumpet.

We told him we were doing
marijuanas under the bleachers.

GAYLE: It was
the perfect alibi. LINDA: Or maybe

it wasn't.
Maybe he was suspicious.

Hmm. Maybe we should pay
Marty DeblusioKlein

a little visit,
see if he sent us those letters.

I heard he's living
at his mom's old house.

Because he murdered her?

No.
She moved to Florida.

Because she murdered someone?

No. Not everyone
murders someone, Gayle.

That's not true.

What is happening?

GENE: We're exhausted
from watching the restaurant.

How does it somehow
look worse in here?

We actually did sweep a little,
but then we played in it.

TINA:
We're taking a dirt nap.

All right, so, I think
I did pretty good candywise.

We want to trust you, Dad,

but we don't want
to get hurt again.

Are you sure it's candy
and not vitamins?

I don't know.
Why don't you guys tell me.

(kids exclaim)

Sour Sack Babies?
Yeah, that's right.

I asked a kid in the store
what the best candy was.

His dad was concerned,

but they both agreed
these were a huge get.

I can't believe
these weren't sold out.

Believe it, baby.
I found these three bags

shoved back
behind some candy corn.

Ugh. Now we have to give
these out to other people.

It's not right.
(dry heaves)

Tina, don't make that sound.
Look, how about this:

whatever's left
at the end of the night,

you kids can keep
for yourselves.

Deal.
Yay! There he is. (sniffs)

Whoa!

Uh, okay.
Uh, take it easy, Louise.

Give me some.
I want to rub them on my face.

Tina, stop.
(whispering): Don't worry.

We're gonna get you
out of there.

Oh, my God.

Wow, the house
hasn't changed a bit.

They still have the cute
little bars on the windows.

Wait, what are we
gonna say to him?

Don't worry, Linda. I've been
working on talking to humans

with my life coach, Dane Kang.
(doorbell rings)

Happy Halloween.

You didn't think we'd come here,

did you, Marty?
Aah!

You messed
with the wrong sisters.

Wait, Gayle?
From high school? Linda?

Hi, Marty.

What is happening?

You know what's happening.

This is about
the pumpkin carving contest.

What pumpkin carving contest?

Uh, you know,
the one from 27 years ago?

When we were in high school?

Wait, you mean
the one that got canceled?

Aha! Suddenly
Mr. "I Don't Know Anything

About Pumpkin Carving Contests"

knows a lot about a certain
pumpkin carving contest.

So, you think I'm the one
who smashed all the pumpkins?

And you waited 27 years
to confront me about it?

I didn't do it, I promise.

We know you didn't.
But you did write some letters,

and we'd like to look
at your marker collection.

Gayle, I'm starting to think

that Marty
didn't write the letters.

What letters?
Eh, maybe you're right.

You know, I always thought
it was Scary Terry

who smashed all those pumpkins.

Huh.
Why would you think that?

I mean, it's Scary Terry.

And I heard
she entered the contest,

so, you know, maybe she thought

she wasn't gonna win,
so she smashed 'em all.

(gasps) Maybe she's the one
who sent the letters.

Do you know
where Scary Terry lives?

I don't know where she lives,
but I know where she works.

She's a pet groomer
down at To Groom It May Concern.

We're out of here.
Aw, so nice to catch up with you, Marty.

I'm so glad we stopped by.
Love your costume.

You're a great Smurf!

I really hope Scary Terry's
not the one sending

those notes.
I know.

Remember when she ate that spider?

Remember when she set
that bus stop on fire? Yeah.

Oh, boy.
This is it.

Huh. Doesn't look
like they're open.

Nobody's in there.
Wait, look. There's a dog in there.

Or some kind of big squirrel?

I don't know. I'm a cat person.
LINDA: That's creepy.

It's just sitting there.
By itself.

I guess they are open.
Should we go in?

Hello?

Oh, hello.

Aah!
Aah! (dog barking)

Oh, it is a dog.

Hi, Terry.
Linda? Gayle?

Yeah. Yeah, it's us.
Surprise.

What are you doing here?

And why are you backing away
from me?

Uh, we're here 'cause, uh...

our car broke down.
I have a UTI!

What?
Yeah, we were driving and then our car broke down

and then Gayle's pee
was burning. Bad. Unrelated.

So, we called a tow truck
and came in here to wait.

(chuckles)
Anyway, what a surprise.

You're here.

Well, it's a real treat
to see both of you.

Like "trick or treat"?

(laughs loudly)

I get it.

(laughs loudly)
I like this.

I better finish up
with Jasper here.

Do you two want to sit?
We have chairs.

I'd offer you something to eat,
but we only have dog treats.

I'll try a dog treat.
Gayle, no.

Uh, how long
you been grooming pooches?

Long enough to do this.

Aah!
Oh! (laughs)

That's a fun trick

that you shouldn't do again.

I cut people hair, too.

Not officially.
But I'll give you a great rate.

Gayle, you look like
you could use a little touchup.

Or Linda?
No. More you.

She seems like
she just got a haircut.

It looks great.
Nope. Looks terrible. Awful.

Uh, but we're fine.
We don'twe don't...

we don't want
to take up your time.

(whispers):
They're scared.

(laughs)

No, we're not scared.

You know what?
On the house. Gayle, come.

Come.
Come, come.

(whimpers)

Good girl.

Oh, Gayle.

Leave the bangs.

Happy Halloween.
(door opens)

I don't want to get ahead
of ourselves,

but I think we might be turning
into a "do go there" place.

Ugh.
We need to slow this down

if we're gonna have
any left for us.

Or we just go trickortreating
ourselves?

No.
Later for that.

Right now, we need to stay here
and figure out

how to protect these poor,
innocent Sour Sack Babies

from these horrible
actual babies.

Should we just give them cash?
(door opens)

Dang it. Here comes another one.
What's their problem?

Trick or treat.

Welcome.
Hope you like great candy,

'cause we have Sour Sack Babies.

Yeah, I know.
You know? (door opens)

Trick or treat.
Trick or treat. Hey, there.

Hang on. Just taking care
of grim reaper here.

Here you go.
(door opens)

KIDS: Trick or treat.
Oh, my God.

You got to be
freaking kidding me!

They're like ants.

Gimme, gimme, gimme!
I want one!

OOkay, here. Everybody,
please, just wait your turn.

Do you have
tropical Sour Sack Babies?

What?
Tropical. Sour. Sack. Babies.

No.
We have this kind.

YYou've done Halloween before,
right?

Wait, grim reaper?

YYou just took some.
(door opens)

Thanks. Bye.
KIDS: Trick or treat.

Aah!
Make it stop!

Good girl.
You're doing great.

Yes, you are.

You know, it's kind of funny

that we're all together,
hanging out on Halloween.

What do you mean?
Well,

we were all
in that pumpkin contest

that got canceled
back in high school.

Oh, yeah.
That was a shame.

You know, some people think

that someone smashed
all the pumpkins on purpose.

What? Who would
do something like that?

Oh, I'm sure
they had a good reason.

But if you knew who it was,
what would you do?

Maybe send weird letters
to them?

Something worse?
(chuckles)

(barks)
Don't worry.

Your daddy's coming soon.

You guys know Mr. Rosenthal.

Mr. Rosenthal?
Our principal from high school?

Yeah. This is his dog.
He's on his way to pick him up.

I'm sure he'd love to see you.

FYI, he's older now.
It's noticeable.

(chuckles):
Oh, wow.

Yeah, yeah,
that'd be nice to see him.

Linda got older, too.
You know what?

Can I go get some product?
It's for wirehaired terriers,

but your hair
has the same texture.

Okay.

(squeak)
BOTH: Aah! Dog toy.

Gayle,
we got to get out of here.

What? No. We got to figure out
if Terry sent the letters,

and if she did,
we got to confront her

and say "Stop it."
You'll do that part.

Or my new plan.
We get out of here

and send her
a stronglyworded email

when we get home.

And maybe
a negative Yelp review.

KIDS: Trick or treat.

(indistinct chatter)
I was here first.

Trick or treat.
Ooh, Sour Sack Babies!

Okay. Trytry and form a line.
Everyone.

Parents, iif you could
please control your kids?

Grim reaper?
Are you serious?

I can see that you just
put a baseball cap

on top of your costume.

Does your dad know
you're doing this?

It's my dad's hat.

Okay, fine.
Just take one.

But that's it.
Father!

Stop giving away candy!

I can't help it.
It's stupid Halloween.

Wait.
What's in Dad's bowl

is our last bag!
We don't have any left

for ourselves!
Somebody, do something!

Here. Here. Take it.
There's just too many of them!

Here. Take it. Here.
Why did Mom have to leave us alone on the day

of the child zombie
candypocalypse? Here. Take it. Here.

Gayle, come on.

She's gonna come back
any second.

No.
We're gonna see this through.

What's she gonna do, kill us?

I should trim your claws.
Uh, II mean, nails.

Both of you.
I've got a great cutter.

It's really sharp.

Yeah, okay, let's go.
LINDA: Run. Run!

Run for the car!
(barking)

Oh!
And now the dog's chasing us!

Hey!

Run, Gayle, run!
We're gonna die!

I'm too young to die!

I'm so much younger than you!

Aah!
Aah! Scary Terry! (barking)

Linda! Gayle!
Jasper, come!

Oh, God, why did we
park so far away?

I don't know!
It seemed like a good spot!

Wait.
Somebody's here.

Help! Help!
We're being chased!

Forget it, Gayle.
Let's just go!

Linda? Gayle?
Is that you?

Oh, hi, Principal Rosenthal.

Well, hello.
I haven't seen you in years.

How are you?
We're very good.

You're still alive.
That's nice.

It is nice.
I'm here to pick up my dog.

He needed a haircut
'cause he's dressing up

as James Spader from Blacklist
for Halloween.

(Jasper barking)
Ja...

Jasper?
LINDA: Oh, God,

here she comes!
Help us.

She's chasing us!
Aah!

You come here, little man.
(kissing)

I'm so sorry, Mr. Rosenthal.
He got out.

Somebody opened his pen.

Oh, sorry.
That was an accident.

We were running because
we thought you were chasing us,

but you were chasing the dog?

No, I was chasing you, too.

I have this great product.

Remember? The thing I said
two seconds before you ran out?

Why did you run out?
We were catching up.

We were talking about
the pumpkin carving contest

that got canceled.
Oh, God, I remember that.

Uh...
You know, Linda,

the sad thing is
we never got to announce

that you were...
Shush, shush, shush, shush, shush, shush, uh...

Oh, I w... II was just gonna
say we were gonna announce...

♪ Oh, we're singing ♪

♪ Halloween, Halloween ♪
Oh, I was just gonna say you were...

♪ It's such beautiful time
of year. ♪ What? What? What? What? What?

Linda, you're being weird.
(Linda vocalizing)

We never got to announce

that you were the winner!

And you said it.
Wait, what?

Linda was gonna win?
Yeah.

Linda, did you know
you were gonna win?

I found out at school
the day before.

I was in the hall
on my way to poop

when I heard
some teachers talking

in the principal's office
about the pumpkin contest.

Then I heard Mr. Rosenthal say
that I was gonna be the winner.

That mine was the most creative.

Creative?
I knew you'd be crushed.

I knew how hard
you worked on yours,

and I just
couldn't let it happen.

Wait, you dropped your pumpkin
on purpose?

Sorta.
Yeah.

So you smashed all the pumpkins?

Sorry. If you want to arrest us,
I understand.

Uh, I mean, me.
Gayle wasn't there.

Wait a second. So, who sent us
those freakin' letters?

I don't know.
MAN: I did.

ALL:
Huh?

Who the hell are you?
I'm life coach,

personal trainer
and inventor Dane Kang.

Hi, Dane Kang.
Wait, it was you?

Yes, Gayle. Of course
I sent you the letters.

And I'm proud of you.
You did it.

I did?
What did I do?

What the heck is going on?

I knew the only way to get Gayle

to confront her past
was to bring it back

and shove it in her face.

And if she rose
to the challenge,

she could move forward
in all areas of her life

and to the gold star level
of my program.

Ooh.

I didn't know
life coaches did that stuff.

Oh, they don't.
Can I have your card?

Well, why did you bring me
into all this?

Gayle talks about you a lot.

No, not that much. Maybe once.
We've had one session,

and I feel like I've known you
all my life.

Though I expected you
to be older and very ugly.

Anyway, you're welcome.
You're all welcome.

Now I got to go pretend to be
a client's longlost love child.

Bye, Dane Kang.
I'll call you Monday.

Well, this was fun.

You're gonna want to rub this in
with your fingertips.

Give me your hand.
Okay.

KIDS: Trick or treat.

Here. Last one.
Yeah.

No more Sour Sack Babies, okay?

Oh, no. Don'tdon't cry.

Here. WWe have these.
Take as many as you want.

(sobbing)
Oh, my God.

Ugh.
Total disaster.

And now we don't have
any Sour Sack Babies.

This feels like rock bottom.

I don't even know
if I have the energy

to trickortreat anymore.

I mean, we'll go,
but my heart won't be in it.

Just my mouth.

(sighs)
Well, good thing I saved

three of these things
for you kids, huh?

TINA: Yay!
GENE: Oh, my God! LOUISE: Yes!

I could kiss you.
And I will.

Give me those lips!

I am never handing out
good candy again.

Mmhmm.
Yeah. Yep, yep, yep.

I mean, what kind
of life coach does that?

He's the best.
That's why

he's $400 a session.
What?!

But, you know,
the first two are free.

And I think I'm fixed now,

so I just need to cancel
your credit card.

Oh, God.
(sighs) Linda,

I wish you would've just told me
that you were gonna win

that pumpkin carving contest.

I know. But I guess
sometimes I don't tell you

good stuff that happens to me
'cause I don't want to,

you know, rub it in.

When good things happen to you,
it does make me happy.

Is this just because

sometimes I fly
into violent rages of jealousy

and cry in the closet
until I throw up?

Yeah, maybe.
Well, I still want to know

what's happening in your life.
I love you.

You're my sister
and my best friend.

And my archnemesis.

I love you, too, Gayle.

Also, my pumpkin
was way better than yours.

Mr. Rosenthal's stupid.
Oh, speaking of pumpkins,

look at those.
They're good.

Too good.
I want to go smash them! Gayle, no!

♪ Goblins, ghouls,
ghosts and bears ♪

♪ Why'd I say bears? ♪

♪ I don't know, they're scary ♪

♪ It's Halloween ♪
Aah!

♪ Okay, bears
aren't that scary ♪

♪ They're just big and hairy ♪

♪ They eat nuts and berries,
not scary ♪

♪ But what the heck,
it's Halloween ♪ Aah!

♪ Halloween, ooh ♪

♪ Halloween, scary, scary ♪

♪ Halloween ♪

♪ Halloweenweenween ♪

♪ Goblins, ghouls,
ghosts and bears ♪

♪ Why'd I say bears? ♪

♪ I don't know, they're scary,
it's Halloween. ♪ Aah!

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