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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:18,368 --> 00:00:21,204 Growing up, the mount Everest of big wave riding 2 00:00:21,238 --> 00:00:22,606 was just down the street, 3 00:00:22,639 --> 00:00:24,976 and tai Alonzo was leading the pack. 4 00:00:25,009 --> 00:00:26,744 And I just wanted to be him. 5 00:00:26,778 --> 00:00:28,378 He was like Superman to me. 6 00:00:28,412 --> 00:00:29,981 Tai was am atomic bomb, man. 7 00:00:30,014 --> 00:00:31,883 He blew up big time. 8 00:00:32,249 --> 00:00:34,284 He was a bomb in the water, 9 00:00:34,317 --> 00:00:37,955 and maybe too much of a bomb on land, too. 10 00:00:37,989 --> 00:00:39,691 The first time I saw this image 11 00:00:39,724 --> 00:00:40,925 on the cover of a magazine, 12 00:00:40,958 --> 00:00:42,760 I was like, "oh, what is this?" 13 00:00:42,794 --> 00:00:44,628 Like, it's this guy, like, 14 00:00:44,662 --> 00:00:48,632 all like, tan and, you know, there was a coconut tree behind. 15 00:00:48,666 --> 00:00:50,267 Oh, my god! Like, I didn't know 16 00:00:50,300 --> 00:00:51,869 that was existing, you know? 17 00:00:51,903 --> 00:00:53,738 The fame thing, it just builds and builds 18 00:00:53,771 --> 00:00:55,811 and everywhere you go, it's just people wanting you. 19 00:00:55,840 --> 00:00:58,810 They want you to stand with them at the beach. 20 00:00:58,843 --> 00:01:00,712 They want to take you out to dinner. 21 00:01:00,745 --> 00:01:03,246 They want you to do something because of the prestige 22 00:01:03,280 --> 00:01:04,949 of being with you. 23 00:01:05,315 --> 00:01:08,285 You expect him to get covers like surfer magazine, 24 00:01:08,318 --> 00:01:10,722 but when he got time magazine, no one could believe it. 25 00:01:10,755 --> 00:01:13,557 It's crazy how, you know, sometimes 26 00:01:13,590 --> 00:01:15,425 you can be the best ever, 27 00:01:15,459 --> 00:01:17,729 but if you fly too close to the sun, 28 00:01:17,762 --> 00:01:19,897 you're gonna get burned. And that's it. 29 00:01:19,931 --> 00:01:21,899 You hear all kinds of stories about 30 00:01:21,933 --> 00:01:25,302 what ultimately led to his getting booted from the tour. 31 00:01:25,870 --> 00:01:29,606 But to me, it's... It's just stories. 32 00:01:30,041 --> 00:01:32,275 It's part of why he's a legend. 33 00:01:32,309 --> 00:01:33,745 You go climb the mountain, 34 00:01:33,778 --> 00:01:35,579 and you climb the mountain, and eventually, 35 00:01:35,612 --> 00:01:37,024 I mean, the mountain has a slope going down the other side, 36 00:01:37,048 --> 00:01:39,549 and there's a cliff on the other side. 37 00:01:39,583 --> 00:01:41,418 It appears that he climbed the mountain, 38 00:01:41,451 --> 00:01:43,386 turned around, looked backwards, and fell over. 39 00:01:43,420 --> 00:01:45,790 You know, I don't know what happened to tai. 40 00:01:45,823 --> 00:01:47,658 One day he was riding the biggest waves, 41 00:01:47,692 --> 00:01:49,593 he was winning world championships, 42 00:01:49,626 --> 00:01:51,294 he was on the cover of magazines. 43 00:01:51,328 --> 00:01:52,797 And then, he sort of disappeared. 44 00:01:57,567 --> 00:01:58,803 Mr. Alonzo! 45 00:01:59,837 --> 00:02:01,038 Mr. Alonzo! 46 00:02:06,778 --> 00:02:09,479 Not cool! I was in the flow. 47 00:02:09,881 --> 00:02:11,314 We need to have a word. 48 00:02:11,648 --> 00:02:13,885 Meredith hammer, your new Dean of student affairs. 49 00:02:15,086 --> 00:02:17,320 What, here to drop the hammer on me? 50 00:02:17,354 --> 00:02:19,891 I know, I began my new position today, Mr. Alonzo. 51 00:02:19,924 --> 00:02:23,694 Now, if you'll just follow me into my office. 52 00:02:23,728 --> 00:02:26,764 We can talk right here. I got some choice papayas, 53 00:02:26,798 --> 00:02:29,000 some apple bananas. 54 00:02:29,033 --> 00:02:31,368 - Some mangoes somewhere. - No, no. 55 00:02:31,669 --> 00:02:32,870 My office, now. 56 00:02:34,071 --> 00:02:36,373 Sister! Oh, I mean, Dean. It don't have to be this way. 57 00:02:36,841 --> 00:02:38,642 I'm just showing you some aloha. 58 00:02:39,811 --> 00:02:41,411 I can tell she just landed. 59 00:02:41,444 --> 00:02:43,047 Cuz, you better hurry up 60 00:02:43,080 --> 00:02:45,817 before she calls up some real cops and everything. 61 00:02:46,284 --> 00:02:47,718 What you supposed to be? 62 00:02:48,418 --> 00:02:49,720 Security. 63 00:02:49,754 --> 00:02:51,022 Now means today, Mr. Alonzo. 64 00:03:03,134 --> 00:03:06,103 It says here you've been a student for 17 years. 65 00:03:06,137 --> 00:03:08,973 Oh, yeah. Unreal how much I've learned. 66 00:03:09,273 --> 00:03:12,342 It's a scam. 67 00:03:12,777 --> 00:03:14,411 Why you gotta say it like that? 68 00:03:14,444 --> 00:03:16,814 Oh, I don't know. Maybe because you've taken 69 00:03:16,848 --> 00:03:20,117 introduction to astronomy for 21 semesters in a row. 70 00:03:20,151 --> 00:03:24,521 Yeah, I dig the stars. I'm on point. A minus student. 71 00:03:24,554 --> 00:03:27,024 Yeah. And you're getting a scholarship to be here. 72 00:03:27,058 --> 00:03:28,092 100%. 73 00:03:28,926 --> 00:03:30,061 100% what? 74 00:03:30,094 --> 00:03:32,395 100% what, what? 75 00:03:33,630 --> 00:03:36,667 Okay. What are we even talking about right now? 76 00:03:37,168 --> 00:03:40,403 Yeah, my girl Cheryl in the financial aid department. 77 00:03:40,437 --> 00:03:42,773 She's awesome. Fill out all my paperwork. 78 00:03:42,807 --> 00:03:44,041 Check all the boxes. 79 00:03:44,407 --> 00:03:46,677 I don't know whether you're aware, Mr. Alonzo, 80 00:03:46,711 --> 00:03:48,779 but this college is now part of a national 81 00:03:48,813 --> 00:03:50,882 accredited institution of higher learning. 82 00:03:52,116 --> 00:03:53,617 Yeah, I heard about that. 83 00:03:53,651 --> 00:03:55,485 Offering legitimate degree programs. 84 00:03:55,786 --> 00:03:57,855 Perfect, then! I'm the perfect student. 85 00:03:57,889 --> 00:04:00,758 A minus, I would be the perfect poster boy. 86 00:04:00,791 --> 00:04:03,160 Nope. As of today, your scholarship's cut off. 87 00:04:03,194 --> 00:04:04,896 - What? - Until I see you actually 88 00:04:04,929 --> 00:04:06,664 progressing through a degree program. 89 00:04:06,697 --> 00:04:09,033 Unnecessary for being that way. 90 00:04:10,768 --> 00:04:12,770 You know what? Can't we just maybe, you know, 91 00:04:12,803 --> 00:04:14,805 do a whole do-over... 92 00:04:14,839 --> 00:04:17,041 - We're finished for today. - Press the reset button 93 00:04:17,074 --> 00:04:18,876 - on the whole morning. - No reset. 94 00:04:19,877 --> 00:04:21,145 So uncool. 95 00:04:22,713 --> 00:04:25,783 Here, take this. 96 00:04:26,751 --> 00:04:32,455 Maybe, just maybe, you might reconsider to reconsider. 97 00:04:41,866 --> 00:04:44,802 Hey! That's my Van! 98 00:04:44,835 --> 00:04:46,603 That's where I stay! 99 00:04:48,773 --> 00:04:49,773 Wait! 100 00:04:53,177 --> 00:04:54,178 Wait! 101 00:04:59,582 --> 00:05:01,618 Wait! Wait! 102 00:05:05,122 --> 00:05:06,122 Wait! 103 00:05:12,897 --> 00:05:14,665 Fuck! Right there! 104 00:05:14,699 --> 00:05:16,934 That's my vehicle! Why are you stealing my vehicle? 105 00:05:16,968 --> 00:05:19,737 - I'm just doin' my job. - That's where I live! 106 00:05:20,637 --> 00:05:22,740 And that right there is the board I'm shaping! 107 00:05:22,773 --> 00:05:24,875 Campus police said you've been out there six years 108 00:05:24,909 --> 00:05:26,277 in a six-hour parking spot. 109 00:05:26,310 --> 00:05:28,578 Who cares? Nobody counting! 110 00:05:28,611 --> 00:05:30,748 That right there is my daughter's birthday gift! 111 00:05:30,781 --> 00:05:32,950 Look, man, you can come by the yard a little later on 112 00:05:32,984 --> 00:05:35,162 and pick it up, but you're gonna have to pay the tow fee. 113 00:05:35,186 --> 00:05:36,787 - How much? - $500. 114 00:05:36,821 --> 00:05:38,122 Plus the impound fee. 115 00:05:38,155 --> 00:05:41,092 Cuz, me and you, we'll cut one deal. 116 00:05:41,125 --> 00:05:45,696 I got like $80, maybe $73. 117 00:05:45,730 --> 00:05:47,665 But it's in the vehicle! 118 00:05:47,698 --> 00:05:49,200 With my choice papayas! 119 00:05:51,936 --> 00:05:53,536 So basically, the same as... 120 00:05:53,570 --> 00:05:55,806 You know, yesterday, and probably tomorrow. 121 00:05:55,840 --> 00:05:57,640 And I'm gonna be honest with you folks, 122 00:05:57,675 --> 00:05:59,143 probably for the rest of the month. 123 00:05:59,176 --> 00:06:01,145 Let's take a look at the satellite map. 124 00:06:01,178 --> 00:06:04,982 Oh, wow! Would you look at that! No precipitation. No clouds. 125 00:06:05,016 --> 00:06:08,119 Steady daytime temperatures of 85 degrees. 126 00:06:08,152 --> 00:06:09,619 So whatever. 127 00:06:09,653 --> 00:06:10,921 Back to you, mahina. 128 00:06:10,955 --> 00:06:12,757 - Thank you, Doug... - Psst. 129 00:06:12,790 --> 00:06:14,634 - For that in-depth report. - How'd you get in here? 130 00:06:14,658 --> 00:06:16,327 You suck as a weatherman. 131 00:06:16,360 --> 00:06:18,662 Yeah. No doubt, brah. I hate it. 132 00:06:18,696 --> 00:06:20,606 Besides, everyone just checks their phones, anyway. 133 00:06:20,630 --> 00:06:22,342 What's the point? The weather on the island is the same 134 00:06:22,366 --> 00:06:23,801 every single day. 135 00:06:23,834 --> 00:06:25,212 Yeah, except during hurricane season. 136 00:06:25,236 --> 00:06:27,271 Oh, it's different then? Thanks a lot, tai. 137 00:06:27,304 --> 00:06:29,173 - Yeah. - Guys, I'm on air. 138 00:06:30,041 --> 00:06:31,574 What are you doing here? 139 00:06:31,608 --> 00:06:33,077 Hey brah, I need to borrow some cash. 140 00:06:33,110 --> 00:06:35,179 No, no can. Martini has me on a budget again. 141 00:06:35,212 --> 00:06:36,914 I got kicked out of college. 142 00:06:36,947 --> 00:06:38,315 Took my Van, everything. 143 00:06:38,349 --> 00:06:39,582 For real? How come? 144 00:06:39,616 --> 00:06:41,584 Some Dean from the mainland 145 00:06:41,618 --> 00:06:43,187 with her panties in her bunches. 146 00:06:43,654 --> 00:06:45,588 Wait, she had her panties in a bunch? 147 00:06:45,622 --> 00:06:47,658 You know what I mean! She just snapped. 148 00:06:47,691 --> 00:06:49,160 Kicked me out of her school. 149 00:06:49,193 --> 00:06:51,594 Sorry to hear that. But maybe it's time 150 00:06:51,628 --> 00:06:53,173 to pull the big boy pants on like everyone else. 151 00:06:53,197 --> 00:06:55,966 Brah, I've been wearing this since 2001. 152 00:06:56,000 --> 00:06:57,600 It's my lucky board shorts. 153 00:06:57,634 --> 00:06:58,969 Maybe your luck's run out. 154 00:06:59,003 --> 00:07:00,938 Or maybe, you know, you strangled it, 155 00:07:00,971 --> 00:07:03,140 - because you got too fat. - Hey! Shh. 156 00:07:03,174 --> 00:07:05,109 Guys, I'm live on the air. 157 00:07:06,911 --> 00:07:07,945 So what's up? 158 00:07:07,978 --> 00:07:11,148 All I need is $700 and 17 cents. 159 00:07:11,182 --> 00:07:14,318 I'll pay my child support, my car, and my food. 160 00:07:14,351 --> 00:07:16,720 Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Check this out. 161 00:07:16,754 --> 00:07:19,223 Mahina. You did that story on nalu ha'i cottages, right? 162 00:07:19,256 --> 00:07:21,268 - And what they're looking... - Doug, I'm live on air. 163 00:07:21,292 --> 00:07:24,128 For like two people. Take it down a notch. But for real. 164 00:07:24,161 --> 00:07:25,663 Come on. Weren't they looking 165 00:07:25,696 --> 00:07:26,873 for a surf instructor or something? 166 00:07:26,897 --> 00:07:28,365 That was in my report. 167 00:07:28,399 --> 00:07:30,633 - Yes. - There you go. 168 00:07:30,668 --> 00:07:31,836 Big boy pants time. 169 00:07:32,870 --> 00:07:35,206 Here. Use my phone. Call 'em. 170 00:07:35,605 --> 00:07:38,909 Hey! You guys! I'm trying to report the news. 171 00:07:39,310 --> 00:07:40,945 Can you please go? 172 00:07:40,978 --> 00:07:43,247 I apologize to both of you. 173 00:07:53,224 --> 00:07:54,992 Big boy pants. 174 00:07:55,025 --> 00:07:57,928 Wasn't his lesson supposed to start at 2:00? 175 00:07:57,962 --> 00:08:00,798 2:00 Hawaiian time means more like 2:30. 176 00:08:01,265 --> 00:08:03,767 - Okay. Well, it's almost 3:00. - Exactly. Um... 177 00:08:03,801 --> 00:08:05,870 He's down at the coast guard checking on waves 178 00:08:05,903 --> 00:08:06,937 and tidal conditions. 179 00:08:08,205 --> 00:08:10,040 I think you should just forget it, babe. 180 00:08:10,074 --> 00:08:12,109 Are you kidding? We just hired the best instructor 181 00:08:12,143 --> 00:08:14,812 on the island. I mean, you've probably heard of him. 182 00:08:14,845 --> 00:08:16,046 Tai Alonzo? 183 00:08:16,080 --> 00:08:18,149 Gonzo Alonzo. 184 00:08:18,182 --> 00:08:20,718 You definitely don't want to miss out. 185 00:08:21,986 --> 00:08:23,220 Do you really want to do this? 186 00:08:37,134 --> 00:08:39,303 Woo-hoo! 187 00:08:41,939 --> 00:08:45,476 - You sure he's coming? - Yeah. Totally. Um... 188 00:08:45,509 --> 00:08:47,444 Why don't you guys head down to the beach, 189 00:08:47,478 --> 00:08:49,246 and get some sunscreen going. 190 00:08:49,280 --> 00:08:51,015 You know, that might take a while. 191 00:08:51,549 --> 00:08:53,684 - Okay. - Take your time. 192 00:08:55,019 --> 00:08:56,887 Totally. 193 00:09:05,529 --> 00:09:08,999 - What's up, sistah? - Hoy! Over here. 194 00:09:09,366 --> 00:09:11,402 - Woo! - Over here. Tai. 195 00:09:13,204 --> 00:09:15,439 Woo-hoo-hoo-hoo! 196 00:09:16,207 --> 00:09:17,241 Oh, my... 197 00:09:17,942 --> 00:09:19,910 - Hey, how's it... - You're here. 198 00:09:19,944 --> 00:09:21,478 - I love your enthusiasm. - No. 199 00:09:21,512 --> 00:09:23,948 You were supposed to be here, like, two hours ago. 200 00:09:23,981 --> 00:09:25,916 - What is this? - Employment documents. 201 00:09:25,950 --> 00:09:28,452 Just sign it and get out there. You have students waiting. 202 00:09:28,485 --> 00:09:30,321 - I have students? - Babymooners. 203 00:09:30,354 --> 00:09:32,156 Babymooners? What is that, babymooners? 204 00:09:32,189 --> 00:09:34,458 They're pregnant. I guess that's what people do now. 205 00:09:34,491 --> 00:09:36,160 - They, like, surf? - Just him. 206 00:09:36,193 --> 00:09:38,429 But she's definitely the one wearing the pants. 207 00:09:38,796 --> 00:09:40,798 Hey, let me know if you need pointers. 208 00:09:40,831 --> 00:09:42,866 - I can help you. - What are you talking about? 209 00:09:42,900 --> 00:09:45,069 On the phone. You said you surf. You, like, compete... 210 00:09:45,102 --> 00:09:48,305 Nah, I'm good. Thanks. 211 00:09:48,339 --> 00:09:51,308 Remember, the flip side of fear is commitment. 212 00:09:51,342 --> 00:09:53,377 That's a laird Hamilton quote. 213 00:09:53,410 --> 00:09:56,880 Not even! We said that at the same time. 214 00:09:58,849 --> 00:10:00,017 Okay. 215 00:10:03,120 --> 00:10:04,221 Oh! 216 00:10:05,356 --> 00:10:09,226 I'm loving those fierce warriors I'm seeing this morning. 217 00:10:09,728 --> 00:10:13,297 Now, find that giggling newborn 218 00:10:13,330 --> 00:10:16,100 as you ease into 219 00:10:16,133 --> 00:10:20,104 ananda balasana. 220 00:10:21,538 --> 00:10:24,141 Oh, yeah. Looking good. 221 00:10:24,541 --> 00:10:26,944 Happy baby pose. That's my favorite. 222 00:10:27,878 --> 00:10:29,113 Stay focused. 223 00:10:30,114 --> 00:10:31,215 Stay with the plan. 224 00:10:32,283 --> 00:10:36,987 And imagine me feeling each and every one of you 225 00:10:37,021 --> 00:10:40,291 with my life-giving manna. 226 00:10:40,324 --> 00:10:42,226 If you're looking for the real stuff, 227 00:10:42,259 --> 00:10:44,928 hit me up for some surf lessons at the beach. 228 00:10:44,962 --> 00:10:46,864 They gonna be on point. 229 00:10:46,897 --> 00:10:50,901 Oh, shotay, shotay, shotay. Oh, shotay... 230 00:10:50,934 --> 00:10:53,937 Ignore the infantile and breathe. 231 00:10:54,938 --> 00:10:58,175 Stay focused. Fight through with the breath. 232 00:11:03,414 --> 00:11:05,349 Aloha, everybody. Coming at you 233 00:11:05,382 --> 00:11:07,351 with today's daily rubber neck surf check. 234 00:11:07,384 --> 00:11:09,486 And the surf today, oh, still pretty flat. 235 00:11:09,520 --> 00:11:11,588 But gets some rogue waves every now and then. 236 00:11:11,622 --> 00:11:14,124 You better watch out, don't wanna get caught by them. 237 00:11:14,158 --> 00:11:16,093 Low tide at 8:00 A.M. 238 00:11:16,126 --> 00:11:18,862 And high tide coming in at 4:30 P.M. 239 00:11:18,896 --> 00:11:21,565 That wraps it up for today's rubber neck surf check. 240 00:11:39,083 --> 00:11:40,617 Lose the booties, 241 00:11:40,652 --> 00:11:42,495 because we don't let nobody know you're tourists. 242 00:11:42,519 --> 00:11:44,355 I'm sorry, who are you again? 243 00:11:44,388 --> 00:11:47,491 I usually tell my students to lose the rashguard too. 244 00:11:47,524 --> 00:11:50,294 Youreviewhawaii.com says that there might be urchins 245 00:11:50,327 --> 00:11:52,463 or coral heads out there. 246 00:11:52,496 --> 00:11:54,598 Don't worry about that, sistah. I get 'em. 247 00:11:54,631 --> 00:11:57,134 This is my church. This is my playground. 248 00:11:57,167 --> 00:11:59,636 I know every inch of this place. 249 00:11:59,671 --> 00:12:01,372 Uh, are you the guy on the website? 250 00:12:01,405 --> 00:12:03,374 What you looking at, brah? Huh? 251 00:12:03,407 --> 00:12:05,677 It's just... she said we'd be getting instruction 252 00:12:05,710 --> 00:12:07,478 from an actual pro surfer. 253 00:12:07,511 --> 00:12:11,215 You know Kelly slater? You know laird Hamilton? 254 00:12:11,248 --> 00:12:13,150 You know Andy irons? Dave kalama? 255 00:12:13,183 --> 00:12:14,985 - You know them? - Yeah, of course, but... 256 00:12:15,018 --> 00:12:16,420 Well, then, okay! 257 00:12:16,453 --> 00:12:18,690 So you still compete, or... 258 00:12:18,723 --> 00:12:21,492 - Ranked number three. - Okay, you are ranked 259 00:12:21,525 --> 00:12:24,094 number three, or you were ranked number three? 260 00:12:24,128 --> 00:12:27,331 Exactly. All right. Let's go surfing! Come on! 261 00:12:33,337 --> 00:12:36,206 Don't worry. Paddle out. Looking good. Looking good. 262 00:12:36,240 --> 00:12:39,076 - Keep paddling. - You're doing great, babe. 263 00:12:39,109 --> 00:12:40,577 Keep paddling out. 264 00:12:40,611 --> 00:12:42,379 He's got a strong stroke. 265 00:12:42,413 --> 00:12:44,047 You've got a strong stroke! 266 00:12:44,081 --> 00:12:45,649 All right. 267 00:12:45,683 --> 00:12:47,652 Go to the right towards the peak. 268 00:12:47,685 --> 00:12:49,420 That's right. Paddle out to the peak. 269 00:12:49,453 --> 00:12:51,021 Go to the right! 270 00:12:51,054 --> 00:12:53,557 Right there! Keep going! 271 00:12:53,590 --> 00:12:55,592 Paddle like he showed you! 272 00:12:56,994 --> 00:12:58,529 - Hey, let me see that. - What? 273 00:12:59,263 --> 00:13:00,631 What is it? 274 00:13:00,665 --> 00:13:02,366 Holy! 275 00:13:03,233 --> 00:13:05,502 Holy! 276 00:13:05,536 --> 00:13:07,604 Oh, my gosh. What's happening? 277 00:13:07,638 --> 00:13:11,041 Turn the board around! Turn the board around! 278 00:13:11,408 --> 00:13:14,712 Now paddle! Paddle like I showed you! 279 00:13:14,746 --> 00:13:17,247 Paddle like he showed you! 280 00:13:17,281 --> 00:13:19,717 - Go! Go! Go! Go! - Go! Go! 281 00:13:23,554 --> 00:13:25,657 Swim to the light! 282 00:13:25,690 --> 00:13:28,592 Do something! I am not gonna be widow! 283 00:13:30,327 --> 00:13:32,996 Martha! 284 00:13:33,030 --> 00:13:35,199 Ah! Right there! 285 00:13:35,232 --> 00:13:37,334 - Go get him! - Yes! Good job! 286 00:13:43,440 --> 00:13:46,510 Hoo! That was the real stuff right there! 287 00:13:46,543 --> 00:13:49,346 Not everybody gets to experience that the first time! 288 00:13:49,379 --> 00:13:51,515 The what? You almost killed him! 289 00:13:51,548 --> 00:13:54,051 Yeah, but you will always remember that. 290 00:13:54,084 --> 00:13:57,254 I think maybe I should have worn the booties after all. 291 00:13:57,689 --> 00:14:00,257 Nah. Don't worry. The best way to treat vana, 292 00:14:00,290 --> 00:14:01,659 you gotta let me piss on 'em. 293 00:14:01,693 --> 00:14:04,027 It will disinfect and will push them out. 294 00:14:04,061 --> 00:14:05,697 - Wait, what? - Yeah, I drain coco water. 295 00:14:05,730 --> 00:14:07,164 I take care of that. 296 00:14:07,197 --> 00:14:09,566 - I just... - Keep him right there. 297 00:14:11,769 --> 00:14:16,073 The divinity within me honors the divinity within you. 298 00:14:16,106 --> 00:14:17,675 Namaste. 299 00:14:17,709 --> 00:14:18,810 Oh. 300 00:14:18,843 --> 00:14:20,544 - Nice work, coach. - Brah. 301 00:14:20,577 --> 00:14:23,180 Can't you see I'm in the middle of a surf lesson? 302 00:14:23,213 --> 00:14:25,582 As was I. A word, please? 303 00:14:26,049 --> 00:14:28,519 - Let's go. - Baby. Hi, baby. 304 00:14:28,552 --> 00:14:30,722 You are forbidden to talk to my students. 305 00:14:30,755 --> 00:14:33,357 Not during class, not outside of class. 306 00:14:33,390 --> 00:14:35,359 - Not ever. - Forget that. 307 00:14:35,392 --> 00:14:37,194 This is where we start and end. 308 00:14:37,227 --> 00:14:39,429 We've been surfing this spot for hundreds of years. 309 00:14:39,463 --> 00:14:42,432 And your loin cloth gymnastic yoga, that's all new. 310 00:14:42,466 --> 00:14:48,105 Yoga has been around for literally 10,000 years. 311 00:14:48,138 --> 00:14:50,173 - So has your breath. - What? 312 00:14:50,207 --> 00:14:51,441 - And your Bo. - What? 313 00:14:51,475 --> 00:14:53,811 - What, you deaf? - My breath? 314 00:14:53,845 --> 00:14:56,179 My breath is scented with Jasmine 315 00:14:56,213 --> 00:14:58,348 from the himalayan foothills. 316 00:14:58,382 --> 00:15:01,819 Brah, I don't even know your name, but you make no sense. 317 00:15:01,853 --> 00:15:05,255 - I make no sense? - What? You deaf, too? 318 00:15:05,289 --> 00:15:06,724 Try this on for scent. 319 00:15:13,865 --> 00:15:17,367 The peace of inner yoga also has a name! 320 00:15:17,401 --> 00:15:20,170 Hey! You're not even wearing underwears! 321 00:15:20,203 --> 00:15:21,471 My practice doesn't allow it. 322 00:15:22,172 --> 00:15:24,308 - Whose breath is stinky now? - Get off me! 323 00:15:24,341 --> 00:15:26,443 Come on! Get off me! 324 00:15:27,879 --> 00:15:30,180 Diaper boy attacked me out of nowhere. 325 00:15:30,213 --> 00:15:31,783 Please, my name is shivandranda. 326 00:15:31,816 --> 00:15:34,652 - Whatevers. - He was looking at my students 327 00:15:34,686 --> 00:15:37,889 with lust just oozing from his sacral chakra. 328 00:15:37,922 --> 00:15:40,257 Brah, with that accent where are you even from? 329 00:15:40,290 --> 00:15:42,330 I am the only one allowed to look at them like that. 330 00:15:42,359 --> 00:15:44,461 Okay. Shh, both of you. 331 00:15:44,494 --> 00:15:46,129 Listen, I didn't want to say anything, 332 00:15:46,163 --> 00:15:48,398 but you leave me no choice. Here's the deal. 333 00:15:48,432 --> 00:15:50,868 Mr. Kahele is way behind on bills. 334 00:15:50,902 --> 00:15:52,704 The hotel might get foreclosed on. 335 00:15:52,737 --> 00:15:55,138 I thought his family owned this place for, like, 100 years. 336 00:15:55,172 --> 00:15:57,407 If we don't get shut down by the county first. 337 00:15:57,441 --> 00:16:00,177 - Wait, wait. County? - Shh. 338 00:16:00,210 --> 00:16:03,513 Point is, if we want to keep our jobs, we need every guest 339 00:16:03,547 --> 00:16:05,717 to have the best experience they've ever had. 340 00:16:05,750 --> 00:16:08,886 Yes. Each one must have a true, 341 00:16:08,920 --> 00:16:11,188 divine experience of aloha 342 00:16:11,221 --> 00:16:14,191 as do my disciples each and every day. 343 00:16:14,859 --> 00:16:17,194 Yeah. 344 00:16:17,227 --> 00:16:19,664 Brah, brah, brah. 345 00:16:20,765 --> 00:16:23,433 Brah. Hey. 346 00:16:23,467 --> 00:16:26,904 The babymooners, you really messed them up today, brah. 347 00:16:26,938 --> 00:16:29,172 Those two? He'll never go surfing again. 348 00:16:29,206 --> 00:16:31,241 And you never lose money off of them. 349 00:16:31,274 --> 00:16:33,310 No, I'm not in the surfing business. 350 00:16:33,343 --> 00:16:35,612 I'm in the hotel business. 351 00:16:35,646 --> 00:16:38,315 You ever heard of youreviewhawaii. Com? 352 00:16:38,348 --> 00:16:40,685 The wife has super viewer status. 353 00:16:40,718 --> 00:16:44,454 A bad review from her gets read by thousands of people. 354 00:16:44,488 --> 00:16:47,557 - Thousands. - Thousands upon thousands. 355 00:16:47,591 --> 00:16:49,426 I think you guys are all exaggerating. 356 00:16:49,459 --> 00:16:50,459 No. 357 00:16:51,595 --> 00:16:55,265 She wrote a glowing review about the ka'anapali beach hotel. 358 00:16:55,298 --> 00:16:57,434 Which got picked up by the huffington post. 359 00:16:57,769 --> 00:17:00,203 Okay. I'll go talk to 'em. 360 00:17:00,237 --> 00:17:02,439 - Hoo! You do that. - Shh. 361 00:17:02,472 --> 00:17:05,677 Brah. I know back in the day, 362 00:17:05,710 --> 00:17:07,712 you were somebody, a big-time surfer. 363 00:17:07,745 --> 00:17:10,580 I respect that. Alonzo galonzo, galonzo Alonzo. 364 00:17:10,614 --> 00:17:12,950 I respect that. But you gotta respect us, brah. 365 00:17:12,984 --> 00:17:16,353 This hotel, this place, has been in my ohana 366 00:17:16,386 --> 00:17:18,956 way before missionary times. 367 00:17:19,724 --> 00:17:22,927 Kings and queens would stay right here. 368 00:17:22,960 --> 00:17:26,998 My ohana made like a refuge. A safe haven for everybody. 369 00:17:27,031 --> 00:17:28,966 Yes, boss, I already told him all of this. 370 00:17:29,000 --> 00:17:30,968 He just doesn't listen, you know? 371 00:17:31,002 --> 00:17:32,636 - Shh! - Okay. 372 00:17:33,104 --> 00:17:35,439 Bro, we also had plenty of celebrities. 373 00:17:35,472 --> 00:17:38,308 Elvis Presley, frank Sinatra. 374 00:17:38,341 --> 00:17:39,911 - You know jfk? - Yeah. 375 00:17:39,944 --> 00:17:41,879 Jfk and Marilyn Monroe, brother, 376 00:17:41,913 --> 00:17:42,990 they'd come over here in a disguise, 377 00:17:43,014 --> 00:17:44,514 take cottage number six. 378 00:17:44,548 --> 00:17:45,950 - You know what I mean? - For real? 379 00:17:45,983 --> 00:17:47,952 For real, brah. I no kid you. 380 00:17:47,985 --> 00:17:50,520 And I know you would never disrespect... 381 00:17:53,691 --> 00:17:55,358 The holy Trinity. 382 00:17:58,562 --> 00:18:00,230 Definitely not, boss. 383 00:18:01,298 --> 00:18:02,566 My cousins. 384 00:18:03,935 --> 00:18:07,504 Each one of them have enjoyed our ohana's hospitality. 385 00:18:08,238 --> 00:18:09,615 So you know what I'm gonna do, brah? 386 00:18:09,639 --> 00:18:11,541 I'm gonna cut you some slack. 387 00:18:11,575 --> 00:18:13,754 'Cause I like you. And I really need a surf instructor here. 388 00:18:13,778 --> 00:18:15,479 And you can make Hawaii great again. 389 00:18:15,512 --> 00:18:17,481 All you need to do is make things right 390 00:18:17,514 --> 00:18:19,951 with the honeymooners. The honeyboomers. 391 00:18:19,984 --> 00:18:23,855 The honeybabes. Make it right. Make it pono. 392 00:18:23,888 --> 00:18:26,691 - Make it right. - Yes, make it pononui. 393 00:18:26,724 --> 00:18:28,760 With them and with me. 394 00:18:30,795 --> 00:18:34,065 I forgive you, hermano. Embrace me. 395 00:18:34,098 --> 00:18:35,867 - Just get it over with. - No. 396 00:18:35,900 --> 00:18:37,434 Why's he always got to do this? 397 00:18:37,467 --> 00:18:39,771 - Aw, man. - Hold me, big man. 398 00:18:39,804 --> 00:18:41,906 - Okay. - Let our natural chakras 399 00:18:41,939 --> 00:18:43,540 commingle. 400 00:18:43,573 --> 00:18:45,308 Oh, man, this is getting weird, okay? 401 00:18:45,342 --> 00:18:46,744 We don't have this kind of time. 402 00:18:46,778 --> 00:18:48,679 - No, it's not weird. - It is weird. 403 00:18:48,713 --> 00:18:50,081 - No, it's weird. - We are one. 404 00:18:50,114 --> 00:18:51,716 No, we're not. 405 00:18:55,720 --> 00:18:58,355 Remember, your eyes are the steering wheel. 406 00:18:58,388 --> 00:19:00,825 - Your core is your engine. - The. 407 00:19:00,858 --> 00:19:02,860 Where your power pumps are. 408 00:19:20,610 --> 00:19:22,079 Ya-hoo! 409 00:19:24,048 --> 00:19:25,549 Nice! 410 00:19:27,718 --> 00:19:30,988 Perfect! You listened to instructions perfectly! 411 00:19:31,656 --> 00:19:33,590 I couldn't hear anything you were saying. 412 00:19:33,623 --> 00:19:35,092 - Yeah, right. - No, serious. 413 00:19:35,126 --> 00:19:36,828 I didn't hear a thing you said. 414 00:19:37,195 --> 00:19:40,097 Hey, you know what? We'll review everything tomorrow. 415 00:19:40,131 --> 00:19:42,332 Okay? Perfect first sesh. 416 00:19:42,700 --> 00:19:44,001 You're going out? 417 00:20:01,686 --> 00:20:04,956 Hey! No gliders over here! Get out of the water! 418 00:20:04,989 --> 00:20:06,757 No gliders over here! 419 00:20:08,659 --> 00:20:11,929 Only surfers, no gliders! No gliders! 420 00:20:11,963 --> 00:20:15,565 Ha ha! This is for gliders. Woo! 421 00:20:20,037 --> 00:20:21,571 White boy, let's rap! 422 00:20:21,605 --> 00:20:23,975 Hey! Come on! Wait, come back! 423 00:20:24,008 --> 00:20:26,543 Come on back! Come on! 424 00:20:26,878 --> 00:20:29,446 You hang up there! I only say that because 425 00:20:29,479 --> 00:20:33,117 - I can see it when you fly over! - Woo-hoo! 426 00:20:33,150 --> 00:20:35,619 Come on, boy, let's go! 427 00:20:38,956 --> 00:20:41,424 This is our spot. Get out of here. 428 00:20:43,227 --> 00:20:45,462 Careless meth nut! 429 00:20:50,034 --> 00:20:51,568 Dougie! 430 00:20:59,977 --> 00:21:02,046 - Dougie boy! - What? 431 00:21:02,079 --> 00:21:03,681 Dougie! 432 00:21:03,714 --> 00:21:05,515 He doesn't live here anymore. 433 00:21:05,548 --> 00:21:06,817 - Again? - Yeah. 434 00:21:06,851 --> 00:21:08,219 - You kick him out again? - Uh-huh. 435 00:21:08,252 --> 00:21:10,087 I was just talking to him the other day. 436 00:21:10,121 --> 00:21:11,822 - Everything seemed to be good. - Bye. 437 00:21:12,690 --> 00:21:14,792 - Psst. Hey! - Dougie! 438 00:21:17,695 --> 00:21:19,697 What up, brah? Got kicked out again? 439 00:21:19,730 --> 00:21:21,498 For buying a new video game system. 440 00:21:21,531 --> 00:21:22,599 So? 441 00:21:23,734 --> 00:21:25,236 And I stole some of her pakalolo. 442 00:21:25,269 --> 00:21:27,705 - Okay? - Okay, shh. All right? 443 00:21:28,139 --> 00:21:31,108 And she thinks I'm flirting too much with the intern at work. 444 00:21:31,142 --> 00:21:32,743 - You did that? - No. 445 00:21:35,112 --> 00:21:37,848 Okay, maybe. And the other day, 446 00:21:37,882 --> 00:21:39,684 the chick actually smiled at me. 447 00:21:39,717 --> 00:21:42,086 Like, a friendly smile. You know those kind it's like... 448 00:21:42,619 --> 00:21:44,221 - You know? - Feel good. 449 00:21:44,255 --> 00:21:46,857 It felt real good. 450 00:21:46,891 --> 00:21:49,193 - Anyway, what's up? - I got that job. 451 00:21:49,226 --> 00:21:51,996 Oh, shoot! Brah, congratulations. 452 00:21:52,029 --> 00:21:54,564 But I didn't get my Van back yet. 453 00:21:54,597 --> 00:21:57,068 So I was hoping maybe I can sleep your place. 454 00:21:57,600 --> 00:22:00,671 Brah, there's no way. I was just about to come cruise down 455 00:22:00,705 --> 00:22:03,506 and check you out to see if I could crash with you in the Van. 456 00:22:04,909 --> 00:22:06,711 Hey, we'll dig. We'll figure something out. 457 00:22:18,689 --> 00:22:20,992 Hey! I know it's you. 458 00:22:22,693 --> 00:22:26,030 Listen. Finish mowing, 459 00:22:26,063 --> 00:22:28,199 I'll pay you $20 at the end of the week. 460 00:22:28,232 --> 00:22:29,967 - For real? - All yours. 461 00:22:31,836 --> 00:22:34,138 But no messing around. Okay? 462 00:22:34,171 --> 00:22:37,708 - Who's that? - Eh! Nobody. 463 00:22:38,376 --> 00:22:41,212 Best run. I'm gonna sit on your ugly ass. 464 00:22:41,245 --> 00:22:43,613 Don't sit. I gotta go. 465 00:22:44,315 --> 00:22:46,250 Cannot bring your homeless friends to work. 466 00:22:46,283 --> 00:22:48,319 I don't even know who that guy is. 467 00:22:48,352 --> 00:22:52,156 Hey, so what? I can get a cash advance for the lawn mowing? 468 00:22:52,857 --> 00:22:54,158 Mm... no. 469 00:22:55,059 --> 00:22:56,827 Don't forget the babymooners. 470 00:22:56,861 --> 00:22:59,096 Make it pono. Make it what? 471 00:22:59,130 --> 00:23:02,199 - Hey? Make it what? - Pono. 472 00:23:02,233 --> 00:23:03,801 Pono. 473 00:23:05,669 --> 00:23:07,138 Yeah. 474 00:23:39,036 --> 00:23:42,139 Wait! Ho! Wait! 475 00:23:43,874 --> 00:23:46,110 Hey! Hey, hey, hey, hey. Hold up. 476 00:23:46,477 --> 00:23:49,213 Hey, I just wanted to apologize about yesterday. 477 00:23:49,246 --> 00:23:52,216 Swami boy, he can be a prima Donna. 478 00:23:52,249 --> 00:23:54,018 We are cutting the babymoon short. 479 00:23:54,051 --> 00:23:55,820 There's no use in being on vacation 480 00:23:55,853 --> 00:23:57,888 - with him in pain like this. - Why? 481 00:23:57,922 --> 00:24:00,291 We have so much to do here in the islands. 482 00:24:00,324 --> 00:24:02,359 - Oh, yeah? Name one. - Yoga. 483 00:24:02,393 --> 00:24:04,762 Oh, pfft. What? For like $90 a session? 484 00:24:04,795 --> 00:24:07,064 No, no, everything on the house. 485 00:24:07,098 --> 00:24:12,002 I'm talking golf, surfing, we have deep sea diving. 486 00:24:12,036 --> 00:24:14,939 We can do, you ever did paper, scissors, stone? 487 00:24:14,972 --> 00:24:18,142 Huh? We got dot-to-dots, connect four... 488 00:24:18,175 --> 00:24:21,011 All right. We'll try the yoga. But no more surfing. 489 00:24:21,045 --> 00:24:22,246 - Ever. - Okay. 490 00:24:22,279 --> 00:24:23,347 - Okay. - Yeah. 491 00:24:23,380 --> 00:24:24,715 Come on. 492 00:24:29,153 --> 00:24:31,222 So, you guys want me to get your bags? 493 00:24:42,166 --> 00:24:44,268 - You work here? - Why? Who are you? 494 00:24:44,301 --> 00:24:46,670 Are you or are you not employed by this hotel? 495 00:24:46,704 --> 00:24:48,339 Brah, do I even know you? 496 00:24:49,039 --> 00:24:51,108 Come on, man. Just answer my question. 497 00:24:51,142 --> 00:24:53,144 Why? You a cop? Fed? 498 00:24:54,111 --> 00:24:56,380 Dude, that wasn't even here this morning. 499 00:24:56,914 --> 00:24:59,116 Oh, so you do work here. 500 00:24:59,850 --> 00:25:02,086 What is this supposed to even be? 501 00:25:02,119 --> 00:25:04,321 I'll tell you what it is. It's vulgar. 502 00:25:04,355 --> 00:25:07,825 And it's a clear violation of code 14716527a 503 00:25:07,858 --> 00:25:10,327 of the hotel and recreation use act of 2014. 504 00:25:11,061 --> 00:25:13,397 Yeah, well, it looks like somebody squatting 505 00:25:13,430 --> 00:25:15,299 - and taking a dump. - Come on, man. 506 00:25:15,332 --> 00:25:16,767 Yeah, because, look, 507 00:25:16,800 --> 00:25:18,402 if you look good, they're squatting, 508 00:25:18,435 --> 00:25:20,171 and you get boom, boom. 509 00:25:20,204 --> 00:25:22,406 It's gonna cost the hotel $1,000. 510 00:25:22,439 --> 00:25:25,075 And it's gonna cost them $500 511 00:25:25,109 --> 00:25:27,144 for each additional day it's there. 512 00:25:28,913 --> 00:25:30,714 Give that to your boss. 513 00:25:31,515 --> 00:25:34,218 It's a self-portrait of a guy, that's what that is. 514 00:25:34,251 --> 00:25:36,453 - Taking a dump. - I heard that. 515 00:25:36,487 --> 00:25:40,224 Whoa. Like bionic ears and stuff. 516 00:25:40,257 --> 00:25:42,259 - Whoa. - I can still hear you! 517 00:25:42,293 --> 00:25:43,904 This thing's supposed to be on top of the roof. 518 00:25:43,928 --> 00:25:45,038 I thought they were going on the side. 519 00:25:45,062 --> 00:25:46,197 - Hey, boss. - Yeah? 520 00:25:46,230 --> 00:25:48,098 The county inspector came by. 521 00:25:48,132 --> 00:25:50,243 They're gonna fine you because of the graffiti on the wall. 522 00:25:50,267 --> 00:25:51,902 Shoot, brah! I knew that guy. 523 00:25:51,936 --> 00:25:53,971 He's gonna kill me and make me maki. 524 00:25:54,004 --> 00:25:55,248 I'm tellin' you, boss. It's a scam. 525 00:25:55,272 --> 00:25:56,874 What are you talkin' about, tai? 526 00:25:56,907 --> 00:25:58,351 I think they're trying to squeeze you out. 527 00:25:58,375 --> 00:26:00,010 Oh, brah, I never think about that. 528 00:26:00,044 --> 00:26:01,512 I didn't think about that one. 529 00:26:01,545 --> 00:26:02,856 Hey boss, if you need somebody for dig around, 530 00:26:02,880 --> 00:26:04,481 I'm your dig around guy. 531 00:26:05,216 --> 00:26:07,051 Okay, dig around guy, I tell you what. 532 00:26:07,084 --> 00:26:09,286 You get any information, and you got 533 00:26:09,320 --> 00:26:11,021 another $20 for you at payday. Okay? 534 00:26:11,388 --> 00:26:12,923 Hey, boss, I got another question. 535 00:26:12,957 --> 00:26:14,491 I know it's not the right time, but... 536 00:26:14,525 --> 00:26:16,427 - Qué? Qué? - You know my daughter, Alana? 537 00:26:16,460 --> 00:26:18,796 - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - I get her one weekend 538 00:26:18,829 --> 00:26:20,431 - for the whole month. - Uh-huh. 539 00:26:20,864 --> 00:26:22,433 She from the big island, boss. 540 00:26:22,933 --> 00:26:24,468 And I was thinking, you know, 541 00:26:24,501 --> 00:26:26,303 she usually stay with me 542 00:26:26,337 --> 00:26:27,938 in my Van. 543 00:26:27,972 --> 00:26:29,506 The Van's in the shop and... 544 00:26:29,540 --> 00:26:32,276 I'm looking around, you got some vacancies. 545 00:26:32,309 --> 00:26:34,378 You think you can hook her up with a room? 546 00:26:38,015 --> 00:26:39,250 Vacancies? 547 00:26:40,884 --> 00:26:44,755 You pay, can can. No pay, no can. 548 00:26:45,189 --> 00:26:46,189 Let's go. 549 00:26:48,125 --> 00:26:49,793 Do you know how to fix solar panels? 550 00:26:49,827 --> 00:26:52,196 I did one installation and I took a repair class 551 00:26:52,229 --> 00:26:53,230 a couple years back. 552 00:26:54,064 --> 00:26:55,165 If you can fix them... 553 00:26:55,734 --> 00:26:58,035 And repaint the wall with the graffiti, 554 00:26:58,535 --> 00:27:01,939 then, I'll throw in another $20 come payday. 555 00:27:01,972 --> 00:27:04,308 Hey, uh, you think I can get an advance? 556 00:27:07,011 --> 00:27:08,979 Oh, also, boss said you need to fill in 557 00:27:09,013 --> 00:27:10,814 for the tennis pro later today. 558 00:27:10,848 --> 00:27:12,283 A couple from China just booked. 559 00:27:28,899 --> 00:27:31,235 Okay! Whenever you're ready! 560 00:27:31,502 --> 00:27:34,271 Let's warm up nice and slow. 561 00:27:42,287 --> 00:27:43,455 Typical American. 562 00:27:43,580 --> 00:27:45,749 Fat and slow and too much talking. 563 00:27:45,849 --> 00:27:49,320 Good one! Good. Plenty of power right there. 564 00:27:49,788 --> 00:27:53,023 Maybe we can work on your lobs, like the real high ones. 565 00:27:53,057 --> 00:27:57,428 No, no, no. My wife wants to work on her first serve. 566 00:27:57,461 --> 00:27:59,997 It's most important part of game. 567 00:28:00,030 --> 00:28:03,100 All right. Okay. Give me one minute. 568 00:28:03,133 --> 00:28:05,069 Ow, my nutsack. 569 00:28:05,737 --> 00:28:08,939 No, no, no. The first serve. The serve. 570 00:28:09,373 --> 00:28:11,909 Yeah, well, this is how I like to do it sometimes. 571 00:28:17,548 --> 00:28:20,050 Oh! 572 00:28:23,287 --> 00:28:26,323 Hold on, sistah. Not much I can teach you there. 573 00:28:27,124 --> 00:28:28,625 I was thinkin' maybe... 574 00:28:29,593 --> 00:28:32,262 Today, maybe tomorrow, 575 00:28:33,063 --> 00:28:34,865 do a surfing lesson? 576 00:28:36,200 --> 00:28:38,635 - Huh? - Okay. But lob practice first. 577 00:28:38,670 --> 00:28:41,238 Okay. Lob practice first. 578 00:28:42,005 --> 00:28:44,041 All right, then. Okay. 579 00:29:27,351 --> 00:29:28,619 What the hell is that? 580 00:29:30,621 --> 00:29:32,956 Hey! No pigs in the water! 581 00:29:35,025 --> 00:29:36,560 See the wave coming? 582 00:29:36,593 --> 00:29:38,595 Right. Now, get up! Come on, big boy! Get up! 583 00:29:38,629 --> 00:29:41,031 There you... ah! No! 584 00:29:41,733 --> 00:29:45,469 I see it. Fire of a champion. I love the hunger. 585 00:29:45,502 --> 00:29:47,971 Yeah. Surfing's my passion. 586 00:29:48,773 --> 00:29:51,341 She placed third in a contest in Manhattan beach. 587 00:29:51,375 --> 00:29:53,076 That's why I brought her out here. 588 00:29:53,110 --> 00:29:54,178 She said she wants 589 00:29:54,211 --> 00:29:56,013 - to place first. - Oh, yeah? 590 00:29:56,046 --> 00:29:57,691 We're actually here 'cause she just got divorced. 591 00:29:57,715 --> 00:29:59,550 - You shut it. - Again. 592 00:29:59,583 --> 00:30:01,285 I am warning you, Maya. 593 00:30:02,152 --> 00:30:04,455 Thing is, I actually already know how to surf. 594 00:30:04,488 --> 00:30:08,091 - I really don't need a lesson. - See, that's where you're wrong. 595 00:30:08,125 --> 00:30:11,028 It doesn't matter at what level you are, 596 00:30:11,061 --> 00:30:13,765 everybody can improve. Everybody. 597 00:30:13,798 --> 00:30:16,099 Yeah, preach, preacher. 598 00:30:16,801 --> 00:30:19,436 You better listen to this little sermon, you hear me? 599 00:30:19,470 --> 00:30:23,240 Yeah, I do, and I noticed that he said everybody can. 600 00:30:23,273 --> 00:30:25,075 Maybe you should work on yourself, mom. 601 00:30:25,609 --> 00:30:28,078 All right. All right. All right. Hey, that's enough. 602 00:30:28,111 --> 00:30:30,647 Hey, you know what? You know how I calm down? 603 00:30:30,682 --> 00:30:33,317 - I jump in the water. - Great. So I can paddle out? 604 00:30:33,350 --> 00:30:36,053 Yeah. Go ahead. We'll be out there in a second. 605 00:30:36,086 --> 00:30:38,288 I'm gonna talk to your mom a little bit, you know. 606 00:30:38,322 --> 00:30:40,524 - Go over the basics. - Okay. 607 00:30:42,493 --> 00:30:44,394 You got a good girl there. 608 00:30:44,428 --> 00:30:47,130 She's a spoiled brat. You see how she talks to me? 609 00:30:47,164 --> 00:30:48,766 Well, you know how teenagers are. 610 00:30:49,166 --> 00:30:52,369 It's her father's fault. He is a full-blown narcissist. 611 00:30:52,402 --> 00:30:54,638 Yeah, but you saw her do this. 612 00:30:54,672 --> 00:30:56,708 She understands there's a higher power. 613 00:30:56,741 --> 00:31:00,077 Oh, she's just pretending to be a good little Christian girl. 614 00:31:00,110 --> 00:31:03,113 Really, she's vicious and cruel. Don't trust her. 615 00:31:03,614 --> 00:31:04,682 Oh, yeah? 616 00:31:06,350 --> 00:31:07,551 - Question. - Yeah? 617 00:31:08,318 --> 00:31:11,054 Do surf instructors ever get lonely? 618 00:31:11,088 --> 00:31:14,057 This is all new to me. 619 00:31:14,625 --> 00:31:16,326 What if I told you... 620 00:31:17,628 --> 00:31:22,099 That I like to give really big... 621 00:31:22,834 --> 00:31:24,702 Tips. 622 00:31:25,803 --> 00:31:27,705 You know, it just came to me that, 623 00:31:27,739 --> 00:31:30,507 you know the yoga instructor? He's lonely. 624 00:31:30,975 --> 00:31:33,143 You know what I'm noticing right now? 625 00:31:33,176 --> 00:31:35,646 I'm just really into your skin color. 626 00:31:35,680 --> 00:31:38,248 Hey, tai. Over here real quick. 627 00:31:38,282 --> 00:31:40,617 Hey, that's my manager. 628 00:31:40,651 --> 00:31:43,220 Hold on for a second. I'll be right back. 629 00:31:43,788 --> 00:31:47,591 Okay, my little dirty chai latte. I'll be waiting. 630 00:31:48,058 --> 00:31:51,663 - No flirting with the guests. - She called me chai latte. 631 00:31:51,696 --> 00:31:53,665 Okay. No going back to their rooms. 632 00:31:53,698 --> 00:31:57,134 - No hanky-panky in the bushes. - You gotta be joking. 633 00:31:57,167 --> 00:31:58,535 Why would I be joking? 634 00:31:58,569 --> 00:32:00,237 You seeing that action? 635 00:32:00,270 --> 00:32:02,372 That was one hot, vicious cougar, 636 00:32:02,406 --> 00:32:04,608 fangs out, she was going for it. 637 00:32:04,641 --> 00:32:07,879 Okay. Point is, you gotta stop screwing up. 638 00:32:07,912 --> 00:32:10,514 If occupancy rates drop more, we're gonna get laid off. 639 00:32:10,547 --> 00:32:12,684 Well, good, maybe more time for surf. 640 00:32:13,017 --> 00:32:14,686 I know that's how you like to live, 641 00:32:14,719 --> 00:32:16,721 but you can't expect the rest of us to also. 642 00:32:16,754 --> 00:32:20,490 Used to be like that for me. Prize money. Sponsorship. 643 00:32:20,524 --> 00:32:21,859 But I wasn't happy. 644 00:32:23,360 --> 00:32:24,360 And you are now? 645 00:32:27,164 --> 00:32:29,566 Look. I have the ocean. 646 00:32:29,600 --> 00:32:32,102 I get my daughter once a month. 647 00:32:32,737 --> 00:32:35,205 Once a month? And that's cool with you? 648 00:32:37,207 --> 00:32:39,543 Seriously? You never wanted to compete again 649 00:32:39,576 --> 00:32:41,578 after you got booted from the tour? 650 00:32:41,612 --> 00:32:44,247 Doesn't it piss you off to see all the other ex-pros 651 00:32:44,281 --> 00:32:46,818 with big houses and endorsement deals? 652 00:32:48,452 --> 00:32:50,788 Okay. Well, I haven't had my shot yet. 653 00:32:51,188 --> 00:32:54,625 I want to go pro. But to do that takes money. 654 00:32:54,993 --> 00:32:57,427 - Well, get a sponsor. - That's the thing. 655 00:32:57,795 --> 00:32:59,563 No one will sponsor me unless I score big 656 00:32:59,596 --> 00:33:01,498 at one of the contests. And to do that, 657 00:33:01,531 --> 00:33:04,601 I have to have time to train. Find a coach. 658 00:33:05,036 --> 00:33:07,204 Well, you don't have to worry about a coach, 659 00:33:07,237 --> 00:33:08,639 you got one right here. 660 00:33:08,673 --> 00:33:10,407 I've been doing this for a long time. 661 00:33:10,440 --> 00:33:11,743 Look how you ended up. 662 00:33:11,776 --> 00:33:13,610 Oh. Shoot. 663 00:33:13,644 --> 00:33:15,913 I have to get back to reception, but... 664 00:33:16,748 --> 00:33:19,884 Just try to keep your board shorts on, okay? 665 00:33:19,917 --> 00:33:22,586 A hundred percent. Rash guard, too. 666 00:33:22,619 --> 00:33:23,620 Good. 667 00:33:33,865 --> 00:33:34,865 Look at you. 668 00:33:35,700 --> 00:33:37,467 Hey! 669 00:33:38,836 --> 00:33:42,339 - Oh. How was your flight? - Good. Good. 670 00:33:43,206 --> 00:33:44,976 So what? You actually have a job now? 671 00:33:45,009 --> 00:33:47,344 Yeah, surf instructor. But... 672 00:33:47,377 --> 00:33:49,546 You know, they got me doing everything over here. 673 00:33:50,114 --> 00:33:51,916 You know, I got cut off at the college. 674 00:33:51,949 --> 00:33:53,517 Cut off? How? 675 00:33:53,550 --> 00:33:54,986 Yeah. You know that scholarship 676 00:33:55,019 --> 00:33:56,854 that I was using for my living expenses, 677 00:33:56,888 --> 00:33:59,891 - paying for your child support¿ - mom said you're behind. 678 00:33:59,924 --> 00:34:02,626 - By like this much. - Like, by three grand. 679 00:34:02,660 --> 00:34:05,797 And she said if you don't pay then I can't see you next month. 680 00:34:05,830 --> 00:34:08,866 Hey, you know, I got a special birthday gift for you. 681 00:34:08,900 --> 00:34:10,702 I don't need anything, dad. 682 00:34:10,735 --> 00:34:12,704 Just please pay her what you owe her. 683 00:34:13,637 --> 00:34:15,707 Hey, see that? That's your room. 684 00:34:15,740 --> 00:34:17,641 - Really? - Yeah, yeah. Don't get excited. 685 00:34:17,675 --> 00:34:20,510 It's not the presidential suite or anything like that, 686 00:34:20,544 --> 00:34:23,280 but it's something, you know? 687 00:34:23,948 --> 00:34:25,717 Wow. It's nice. 688 00:34:26,150 --> 00:34:27,819 Hey, by the way, how's mom? 689 00:34:29,486 --> 00:34:30,955 Why you looking at me like that? 690 00:34:30,988 --> 00:34:32,522 Because you're looking at me like that. 691 00:34:32,556 --> 00:34:34,424 All puppy dog eyes. Come on, dad. 692 00:34:34,458 --> 00:34:36,259 Your chances are not good. 693 00:34:36,293 --> 00:34:37,594 Why not? 694 00:34:37,627 --> 00:34:39,329 Because you owe her a lot of money. 695 00:34:39,362 --> 00:34:42,265 And you already messed it up like 150 times. 696 00:34:42,299 --> 00:34:44,434 Yeah, you're right, like your mom. 697 00:34:44,468 --> 00:34:46,771 Look, I have a lot to do around here. 698 00:34:46,804 --> 00:34:49,639 I have to teach surf lessons. Maybe teach a yoga class. 699 00:34:49,674 --> 00:34:51,809 Tennis. I gotta put up solar panels. 700 00:34:51,843 --> 00:34:55,412 I gotta paint a wall. Look, you hang out. 701 00:34:55,445 --> 00:34:58,716 Go surf. Room service! It's all yours. 702 00:34:59,117 --> 00:35:02,419 - Thanks, dad. Love you. - Love you, too. Come on. 703 00:35:02,452 --> 00:35:03,553 All right. 704 00:35:18,936 --> 00:35:21,505 Yo, brother. Brother, I'm right here. 705 00:35:21,538 --> 00:35:23,273 Right in front of you. Look. 706 00:35:26,043 --> 00:35:28,913 No, no, no. No, no. I got one quick question. 707 00:35:35,219 --> 00:35:38,522 There. Now, you may speak. 708 00:35:38,890 --> 00:35:40,524 All right. You know those babymooners? 709 00:35:40,557 --> 00:35:42,069 They're taking your classes the whole week. 710 00:35:42,093 --> 00:35:43,928 Wonderful, tai. Thanks. 711 00:35:43,961 --> 00:35:45,462 Have them book with kaila. 712 00:35:45,997 --> 00:35:48,032 Here's the deal. You gotta do it for free 713 00:35:48,065 --> 00:35:49,934 because that's the deal I gave them. 714 00:35:49,967 --> 00:35:51,601 So you will be paying, then. 715 00:35:51,635 --> 00:35:53,336 It's not for me, it's for the hotel. 716 00:35:53,738 --> 00:35:56,007 I don't know, like, they're super reviewers. 717 00:35:56,040 --> 00:36:00,377 A bad review would be the result of your pathetic lesson. 718 00:36:00,410 --> 00:36:02,713 Come on, bro. It's no cost to you. 719 00:36:03,014 --> 00:36:08,886 However, it would cost you $90 per person per session. 720 00:36:08,920 --> 00:36:10,587 What? No more employee discount? 721 00:36:11,454 --> 00:36:13,423 Perhaps you didn't hear me. 722 00:36:14,158 --> 00:36:18,395 Ninety dollars per person per session. 723 00:36:18,896 --> 00:36:20,630 That accent, where are you from? 724 00:36:30,775 --> 00:36:33,010 Two words: Breath mint. 725 00:36:34,477 --> 00:36:35,477 Think about it. 726 00:36:55,900 --> 00:36:57,702 Oh, it's you. You here for the Van? 727 00:36:57,735 --> 00:36:59,502 - Is that a... - Yeah. 728 00:36:59,536 --> 00:37:02,039 - It's a blue ribbon attack pig. - Can I pet it? 729 00:37:02,073 --> 00:37:04,709 Go ahead. He might take your arm off, though. 730 00:37:04,742 --> 00:37:05,742 For real? 731 00:37:07,444 --> 00:37:09,080 - Nah, nah. - Go ahead. 732 00:37:09,113 --> 00:37:11,414 Pet him. Sweetest creature you'll ever meet. 733 00:37:11,448 --> 00:37:14,584 No, no. I'm good. Hey, look. I got like $23 in my pocket, 734 00:37:14,618 --> 00:37:17,088 and maybe, possibly, $70 in my Van. 735 00:37:17,121 --> 00:37:19,690 Look, tow bill alone is $600, man. 736 00:37:19,724 --> 00:37:22,093 - You told me it was $500. - Inflation, man. 737 00:37:22,126 --> 00:37:24,662 Plus, every night, man, it goes up another $50. 738 00:37:24,695 --> 00:37:27,631 - Bro, why you gotta do this? - Brah, I'm just doin' my job. 739 00:37:27,665 --> 00:37:29,432 You don't think you can help me out? 740 00:37:29,466 --> 00:37:31,769 Maybe put me on a payment plan, like child support? 741 00:37:31,802 --> 00:37:34,005 Wish I could, man. But I got bills to pay too. 742 00:37:34,038 --> 00:37:36,774 Thing is, bro, the vehicle doesn't even run right now. 743 00:37:36,807 --> 00:37:39,143 Look, man, $400 is the best I can do, brother. 744 00:37:39,844 --> 00:37:43,748 - I don't got it. - Well, come back when you do. 745 00:37:43,781 --> 00:37:46,083 You think I can get my daughter's surfboard? 746 00:38:13,911 --> 00:38:15,913 - Hey. - Hi. 747 00:38:18,182 --> 00:38:19,984 Hi, aloha, I'm Gina. I'm in charge 748 00:38:20,017 --> 00:38:21,651 of sponsorship opportunities. 749 00:38:21,686 --> 00:38:23,220 Well, thanks for meeting up with me. 750 00:38:23,254 --> 00:38:26,589 Yeah. So who do you want to pitch to me? 751 00:38:26,623 --> 00:38:29,559 - Oh, we'll talk over here? - Right, right here. 752 00:38:29,592 --> 00:38:31,729 Oh, it's not for me. It's for my student. 753 00:38:31,762 --> 00:38:33,998 Kaila Vincent. You guys gotta sponsor her. 754 00:38:34,031 --> 00:38:36,767 - Okay. Is she ranked? - Trust me. 755 00:38:36,801 --> 00:38:39,036 You gotta get in on the ground floor with this one. 756 00:38:39,469 --> 00:38:41,504 Who are you again? 757 00:38:42,440 --> 00:38:45,508 - You asking me that for real? - Yeah. Yeah. Who are you? 758 00:38:46,277 --> 00:38:49,146 Sistah. Right there. See there? Huh? 759 00:38:49,180 --> 00:38:50,748 In the flesh. 760 00:38:51,682 --> 00:38:53,150 - Gonzo Alonzo? - Yeah. 761 00:38:55,186 --> 00:38:57,288 Sorry. They said you just fell off the radar. 762 00:38:57,321 --> 00:38:58,956 I'm back on it. 763 00:38:59,323 --> 00:39:01,624 - Come follow me. - Shoot, sistah. 764 00:39:19,810 --> 00:39:22,880 Okay. What you doing now, you little perv? 765 00:39:23,314 --> 00:39:26,217 I see you. What you doing now? 766 00:39:52,676 --> 00:39:55,713 - Can I help you with something? - Oh! Sorry! 767 00:39:55,746 --> 00:39:57,715 This is where I usually score my meth. 768 00:39:57,748 --> 00:40:00,084 - What, you the new drug dealer? - You're joking, right? 769 00:40:00,550 --> 00:40:02,053 Do I look like I'm joking? 770 00:40:02,086 --> 00:40:04,155 Do I look like a meth dealer to you? 771 00:40:04,188 --> 00:40:06,223 Do I look like a meth head to you? 772 00:40:06,257 --> 00:40:10,294 You literally just said, "this is where I score my meth." 773 00:40:10,327 --> 00:40:13,197 All I'm saying is that you could be a drug dealer. 774 00:40:18,069 --> 00:40:19,069 Got him. 775 00:40:19,837 --> 00:40:21,437 I'm telling you, this whole thing stinks! 776 00:40:22,139 --> 00:40:24,341 You find anything on the license number? 777 00:40:24,375 --> 00:40:26,844 Looks like it's registered to conquistador club. 778 00:40:26,877 --> 00:40:28,145 I knew it! 779 00:40:30,948 --> 00:40:32,016 What? 780 00:40:32,049 --> 00:40:34,118 Dad, you need to calm down. 781 00:40:34,151 --> 00:40:36,253 No, Alana, this is wrong! 782 00:40:36,287 --> 00:40:39,156 They're gonna shut this place down so some donkey 783 00:40:39,190 --> 00:40:42,359 from the mainland comes here, build his hotels, 784 00:40:42,393 --> 00:40:45,196 so that they can mess up the surf for everybody. 785 00:40:45,229 --> 00:40:49,033 No. This is not gonna be like waikiki. 786 00:40:49,066 --> 00:40:50,968 So what are you gonna do about it, dad? 787 00:41:31,308 --> 00:41:33,410 - There you are, boss. - Hey, brother, what's up? 788 00:41:33,444 --> 00:41:35,746 The inspector guy, I think he's taking bribes. 789 00:41:35,779 --> 00:41:37,314 For real? I've heard that before. 790 00:41:37,348 --> 00:41:39,016 All them guys are taking bribes. 791 00:41:39,049 --> 00:41:40,985 They're taking money from the big hotel. 792 00:41:41,018 --> 00:41:43,187 Oh, man, I knew it. I knew it! 793 00:41:43,220 --> 00:41:45,022 I'm gonna bust that guy. You watch. 794 00:41:45,055 --> 00:41:46,757 Go ahead and bust him. But I tell you what. 795 00:41:46,790 --> 00:41:48,435 Take care of your responsibilities around here. 796 00:41:48,459 --> 00:41:51,362 The lady in number six. You know, Christian wahine. 797 00:41:51,395 --> 00:41:53,898 Na ke akua. God bless them. Everything's good. 798 00:41:53,931 --> 00:41:55,733 - But they like what you did. - For real? 799 00:41:55,766 --> 00:41:58,435 She wants another one-on-one lesson. Do 'em. 800 00:41:58,469 --> 00:42:00,271 - For sure. - For sure? Of course, for sure. 801 00:42:00,304 --> 00:42:02,106 'Cause I'm for sure, you for sure. 802 00:42:02,139 --> 00:42:03,807 You know how to fix toilets? 803 00:42:03,841 --> 00:42:05,809 I took one year of plumbing. 804 00:42:05,843 --> 00:42:07,745 Oh! Guarantee you know how to fix toilets. 805 00:42:07,778 --> 00:42:10,014 You know this right here, if I give you another $20 806 00:42:10,047 --> 00:42:11,892 you can fix this toilet. I'll give it to you on payday. 807 00:42:11,916 --> 00:42:13,751 When is payday? 808 00:42:13,784 --> 00:42:15,795 Next payday, I'm gonna give you $20. You can handle? 809 00:42:15,819 --> 00:42:17,855 Well, you know about this toilet right here? 810 00:42:17,888 --> 00:42:21,425 It's special. Elvis Presley went 811 00:42:21,458 --> 00:42:23,961 - right here in this toilet. - Ugh. 812 00:42:23,994 --> 00:42:27,231 March 1966. 813 00:42:27,731 --> 00:42:29,300 - You know how to do it? - Yeah. 814 00:42:29,333 --> 00:42:31,302 Help me up, brah. 815 00:42:31,335 --> 00:42:33,003 Hey... 816 00:42:33,037 --> 00:42:35,439 Now, we turn, and we balance on your left foot. 817 00:42:36,941 --> 00:42:38,075 Stay focused. 818 00:42:38,542 --> 00:42:41,912 And remember that the blessing is your breath. 819 00:42:44,114 --> 00:42:46,417 No, you, in the back, your left foot! 820 00:42:46,450 --> 00:42:49,787 Left foot. Yeah, no. This one, okay? 821 00:42:49,820 --> 00:42:52,056 This one. Yeah. Okay. 822 00:42:52,089 --> 00:42:54,258 All right. Get out of here. Please, leave. 823 00:42:55,059 --> 00:42:58,729 Now, roll it up like a burrito. Burrito boy, roll it up. 824 00:42:59,930 --> 00:43:01,865 Very good. Yeah. 825 00:43:01,899 --> 00:43:05,169 Indeed, yoga is not for the crippled or the meek. 826 00:43:05,869 --> 00:43:10,274 Okay? Now, your breath is like your breastmilk. 827 00:43:10,709 --> 00:43:16,914 It nourishes us in a cocoon of lactose-free lactose. 828 00:43:17,348 --> 00:43:21,051 Okay. Oh, no, you don't. Okay, everyone, take a break. 829 00:43:21,085 --> 00:43:23,053 Yeah, take a water break. Back in five. 830 00:43:23,554 --> 00:43:25,322 - What are you doing? - When's cat cow? 831 00:43:25,356 --> 00:43:28,259 - I like watching cat cow. - What are you doing here? 832 00:43:28,292 --> 00:43:30,227 The boss got you on a special mission. 833 00:43:30,594 --> 00:43:32,496 Then why doesn't he come ask me himself? 834 00:43:32,529 --> 00:43:35,366 'Cause he cannot stand your accent and your halitosis. 835 00:43:36,533 --> 00:43:38,035 Okay, I respect that. 836 00:43:38,502 --> 00:43:41,105 - What is the mission? - You know the lady in cabin six? 837 00:43:41,138 --> 00:43:42,506 She wants a one-on-one. 838 00:43:42,539 --> 00:43:45,276 She wants to... You know what I mean? 839 00:43:45,309 --> 00:43:47,978 You know, she wants to see what's inside your man diaper. 840 00:43:48,012 --> 00:43:49,847 She's got the hots for you. 841 00:43:49,880 --> 00:43:51,915 - Really? - Yeah! 842 00:43:51,949 --> 00:43:54,251 Oh, yes. Yes, definitely. 843 00:43:54,285 --> 00:43:56,053 Of course, you know, that makes sense. 844 00:43:56,086 --> 00:43:59,523 I felt our chakras resonating. 845 00:43:59,556 --> 00:44:01,058 Ooh, oh! 846 00:44:06,096 --> 00:44:08,832 Mm! 847 00:44:08,866 --> 00:44:13,137 Okay. Do I look like a beautiful man? 848 00:44:13,170 --> 00:44:14,405 - Yeah. Yeah, go. - Okay. 849 00:44:14,438 --> 00:44:16,073 - Yeah. - All right. 850 00:44:16,106 --> 00:44:17,374 - Wish me luck. - Okay. 851 00:44:17,408 --> 00:44:19,510 - All right! - All right! 852 00:44:19,543 --> 00:44:21,378 Yeah! Go. 853 00:44:27,351 --> 00:44:30,120 Okay. Come on, class. Come on. Come on. 854 00:44:30,154 --> 00:44:33,223 I got something for you guys. All right. 855 00:44:34,358 --> 00:44:37,561 All right. I got a special pose. 856 00:44:37,594 --> 00:44:39,997 It was developed right here in the islands. 857 00:44:40,030 --> 00:44:42,099 It's called the urchin. 858 00:44:42,132 --> 00:44:45,135 Or sometimes, the crouching vana. 859 00:44:51,141 --> 00:44:52,543 - Well, hello. - Hi. 860 00:44:52,576 --> 00:44:55,245 Delivery for kaila. 861 00:44:56,013 --> 00:44:59,416 - Sure. This is for me? - Oh, that's, your name is kaila? 862 00:44:59,917 --> 00:45:02,119 - That's me. - That's my grandmother's name. 863 00:45:02,152 --> 00:45:04,154 - Beautiful name. - Thank you. 864 00:45:06,123 --> 00:45:08,359 All right. Anything else? 865 00:45:08,392 --> 00:45:10,928 Oh, that's just the inventory. 866 00:45:15,165 --> 00:45:17,301 - Uh... wow. - This is the delivery. 867 00:45:18,168 --> 00:45:20,137 Are you sure this is for me? 868 00:45:20,170 --> 00:45:23,507 - Who sent this? - Sticky, stickybumps. 869 00:45:23,540 --> 00:45:25,218 Last name. I don't know. First name? I don't know. 870 00:45:25,242 --> 00:45:27,344 Okay. 871 00:45:27,378 --> 00:45:29,346 What are you doing later? 872 00:45:29,781 --> 00:45:32,916 In life? Or later on tonight? Either-or. Doesn't matter. 873 00:45:32,950 --> 00:45:34,686 - I'm busy. Thank you. - Okay. Okay. 874 00:45:34,719 --> 00:45:36,420 - Have a great day. - I'll be back. 875 00:45:36,453 --> 00:45:38,288 I'll be back for this hand truck tomorrow. 876 00:45:38,322 --> 00:45:39,923 Aloha. 877 00:45:41,291 --> 00:45:42,660 I won't be here. 878 00:45:43,627 --> 00:45:47,665 A field that has rested gives a bountiful crop. 879 00:45:48,365 --> 00:45:50,033 Whatever you say. 880 00:45:50,067 --> 00:45:52,035 So I guess you know what this is, then? 881 00:45:52,503 --> 00:45:53,637 Stickybumps. 882 00:45:53,971 --> 00:45:56,039 I have no idea what you're talking about. 883 00:45:56,073 --> 00:45:59,009 It's a surprise. You got sponsored! 884 00:45:59,042 --> 00:46:01,612 I mean, we did it together. 885 00:46:03,347 --> 00:46:05,249 It's all just wax? 886 00:46:06,083 --> 00:46:07,384 That's what they make. 887 00:46:07,786 --> 00:46:10,120 Well, I can't use all this. I need cash. 888 00:46:10,154 --> 00:46:11,522 You gotta start some place. 889 00:46:12,322 --> 00:46:15,926 To me, this new stuff, too fruity. 890 00:46:17,628 --> 00:46:19,029 It's not bad. 891 00:46:22,332 --> 00:46:24,435 - You see this right here? - Oh. 892 00:46:24,468 --> 00:46:27,271 They don't make wax like this anymore. 893 00:46:28,472 --> 00:46:29,606 It's my special wax. 894 00:46:30,507 --> 00:46:32,976 Are you kidding me? Move it, please. 895 00:46:33,377 --> 00:46:35,979 This wax, I keep in my pocket 896 00:46:36,013 --> 00:46:39,316 ever since I beat Kelly slater, and I took the crown. 897 00:46:40,317 --> 00:46:42,586 This wax have mana. 898 00:46:44,455 --> 00:46:47,257 Mana that will win it for you. 899 00:46:47,291 --> 00:46:48,459 Hmm. 900 00:46:50,527 --> 00:46:55,599 And that is why I wish to pass this on to you. 901 00:46:55,632 --> 00:46:58,535 - Wow. - Instructor to instructee. 902 00:47:00,137 --> 00:47:01,472 Thank you. 903 00:47:07,511 --> 00:47:08,511 Ugh. 904 00:47:09,513 --> 00:47:11,982 Mission accomplished. 905 00:47:13,417 --> 00:47:15,385 Mission accomplished, brah? I have no idea 906 00:47:15,419 --> 00:47:18,222 - what you're talkin' about. - Cottage six is booked 907 00:47:18,255 --> 00:47:20,324 for another week, at the minimum. 908 00:47:20,758 --> 00:47:22,359 Oh, okay. Well, that's good. 909 00:47:22,392 --> 00:47:24,261 They probably liked tai's lesson. 910 00:47:24,294 --> 00:47:27,397 No, it was I. Not tai. 911 00:47:27,431 --> 00:47:29,066 - It was you? - Yeah, man. 912 00:47:30,567 --> 00:47:33,403 Okay, well, they happy, you happy, everybody's happy. 913 00:47:33,437 --> 00:47:36,106 - Mahalo. - Mahalo. 914 00:47:36,139 --> 00:47:39,276 Aloha. Malama pono. 915 00:47:40,310 --> 00:47:42,045 Malama pono. Yeah. 916 00:47:42,079 --> 00:47:43,079 Okay, then. 917 00:47:43,681 --> 00:47:48,151 Well... 918 00:47:51,488 --> 00:47:52,790 Mahalo, then. 919 00:47:55,292 --> 00:47:57,628 And for the record, I myself am ecstatic. 920 00:47:57,662 --> 00:47:59,396 Oh, that's good, brah. 921 00:47:59,429 --> 00:48:00,597 Happy for you. 922 00:48:01,098 --> 00:48:04,301 Yes, because I'm in love. 923 00:48:05,703 --> 00:48:08,505 Love. Great, brah. 924 00:48:08,539 --> 00:48:11,208 - Love is a wonderful thing. - I know. I know. 925 00:48:11,241 --> 00:48:14,411 And furthermore, she is in love with me. 926 00:48:16,681 --> 00:48:19,082 - She's in love with you? - Mm-hmm. 927 00:48:19,449 --> 00:48:22,720 - The lady in six? The mom? - Yes. Mm-hmm. 928 00:48:23,387 --> 00:48:25,556 She's a bit older, but it's cool. 929 00:48:25,589 --> 00:48:27,558 We have a mutual understanding. 930 00:48:27,591 --> 00:48:30,828 She actually said this to you, she was in love with you? 931 00:48:30,862 --> 00:48:33,196 She did not say it with her lips, my friend. 932 00:48:34,531 --> 00:48:36,768 She said it with her pindink-ioni. 933 00:48:37,367 --> 00:48:40,571 - Pinka-dinka-oni. - Yeah. 934 00:48:40,604 --> 00:48:44,374 And she impindinka await my return, so... 935 00:48:45,777 --> 00:48:49,179 Good talk. Okay. Bye. 936 00:49:05,162 --> 00:49:09,232 Yeah! My trap worked! 937 00:49:09,767 --> 00:49:12,536 So it was you that would tag the walls. 938 00:49:12,937 --> 00:49:13,905 Release me! 939 00:49:13,938 --> 00:49:15,505 So it was or wasn't you 940 00:49:15,539 --> 00:49:17,207 that would spray graffiti on the walls? 941 00:49:17,240 --> 00:49:18,843 Release me at once! I command you! 942 00:49:18,876 --> 00:49:20,912 So, are you claiming you never tagged the wall? 943 00:49:20,945 --> 00:49:22,780 I have no idea what you're talking about. 944 00:49:22,814 --> 00:49:25,148 But if you don't get me out of this immediately, 945 00:49:25,182 --> 00:49:26,516 I'll be forced to use 946 00:49:26,550 --> 00:49:28,452 my kalaripayuttu skills on you again. 947 00:49:28,485 --> 00:49:31,154 - Just answer my question. - Release me at once! 948 00:49:31,188 --> 00:49:32,857 All right, look. I'll release you, but... 949 00:49:32,890 --> 00:49:35,359 Kalaripayuttu is known to be lethal. 950 00:49:35,392 --> 00:49:37,494 I'm not taking you off my suspect list. 951 00:49:37,527 --> 00:49:38,562 There you go. 952 00:49:38,963 --> 00:49:40,597 Get up. 953 00:49:47,872 --> 00:49:49,172 My pindinka awaits. 954 00:49:49,741 --> 00:49:52,309 And I sense that she is not always patient. 955 00:49:52,744 --> 00:49:54,378 Cool. 956 00:49:54,411 --> 00:49:56,948 You go handle padinka. Hey, I'm watching you. 957 00:49:56,981 --> 00:49:59,383 - I'll be watching you. - I'm gonna be watching you. 958 00:49:59,416 --> 00:50:01,418 - I'll be watching you. - I'll be watching you. 959 00:50:01,451 --> 00:50:03,220 - You. - I'll be watching you. 960 00:50:03,253 --> 00:50:05,422 - I'll be watching you. - You. 961 00:50:10,560 --> 00:50:12,229 Yes! Yeah! 962 00:50:12,897 --> 00:50:15,933 Deep bottom turn. Kisses the lip. 963 00:50:15,967 --> 00:50:18,703 Boom! Perfect ten! 964 00:50:18,736 --> 00:50:22,272 Oh! She gonna be a champ! Hey, you should get in there. 965 00:50:22,840 --> 00:50:25,475 - I don't have a board. - Use mine! 966 00:50:26,711 --> 00:50:27,779 What's the matter? 967 00:50:29,013 --> 00:50:30,614 Hey, you know what I was thinking? 968 00:50:31,448 --> 00:50:32,917 You can come live with me. 969 00:50:32,950 --> 00:50:35,285 - For high school. - In your Van? 970 00:50:36,020 --> 00:50:37,789 Nah, I can get us an apartment. 971 00:50:38,188 --> 00:50:40,590 Get rid of the Van. For you. 972 00:50:40,992 --> 00:50:42,894 - Mom. - Oh. Don't answer that. 973 00:50:42,927 --> 00:50:44,428 She's gonna ask for money. 974 00:50:45,897 --> 00:50:48,231 Hey, tell her I'm working on it. 975 00:50:48,265 --> 00:50:49,667 - Hey, mom. - Tell her I'm working, 976 00:50:49,701 --> 00:50:51,334 I'm working really hard on it. 977 00:51:00,745 --> 00:51:02,880 That's my student. I'm her coach. 978 00:51:03,280 --> 00:51:06,483 - Qualifiers next week. - You? Her coach? 979 00:51:06,784 --> 00:51:11,723 100%. Hey, remember, we all equals before a wave. 980 00:51:11,756 --> 00:51:14,424 - Who said these words? - I just did. 981 00:51:16,293 --> 00:51:18,896 - What do you mean? - What does it mean to you? 982 00:51:23,633 --> 00:51:27,772 My wife said it was laird Hamilton 983 00:51:27,805 --> 00:51:28,840 who said these words. 984 00:51:28,873 --> 00:51:30,574 That guy's a freakin' liar. 985 00:51:30,607 --> 00:51:32,944 I just googled, no lie. 986 00:51:32,977 --> 00:51:34,946 Yeah, well, let me see what your Google say. 987 00:51:35,278 --> 00:51:36,748 Let me see. 988 00:51:38,548 --> 00:51:41,351 Google said that. 989 00:51:45,422 --> 00:51:47,557 Look, hey. The thing is, 990 00:51:47,591 --> 00:51:50,460 you cannot believe what the Internet says. 991 00:51:50,494 --> 00:51:51,863 Especially here in the U.S. 992 00:51:51,896 --> 00:51:54,832 The guy, laird Hamilton, is a thief! 993 00:51:54,866 --> 00:51:57,400 He stole half the things I said and did! 994 00:51:57,434 --> 00:52:00,604 The big picture is that cell phones are rotting your brain! 995 00:52:00,637 --> 00:52:03,975 No critical thinking. You should be surfing. 996 00:52:04,008 --> 00:52:06,409 Instead of taking selfies all day and all night. 997 00:52:06,443 --> 00:52:09,346 Hey! You gotta watch the placement on your back foot. 998 00:52:09,379 --> 00:52:12,016 On the drop, you gotta watch the placement of your back foot. 999 00:52:12,049 --> 00:52:15,019 A couple more inches up front, you'll be a lot more powerful. 1000 00:52:15,052 --> 00:52:17,688 - Sounds good, coach. - How's my special act? 1001 00:52:17,722 --> 00:52:19,824 Working it? 1002 00:52:19,857 --> 00:52:22,894 - Is everything okay? - Yeah, we're just talking. 1003 00:52:22,927 --> 00:52:25,930 Good session. I gotta go for my evening dip. 1004 00:52:25,963 --> 00:52:27,932 Maybe find some lobster for dinner. 1005 00:52:27,965 --> 00:52:30,067 Or people's cell phones. 1006 00:52:30,101 --> 00:52:33,637 - Hey, boy. Come here. - I'm comin'. 1007 00:52:34,504 --> 00:52:36,707 Hey! Hold up. Hey! Hey! 1008 00:52:53,958 --> 00:52:57,594 Woo! Woo! 1009 00:52:57,627 --> 00:52:59,362 Brah, you know my fire knife dancer? 1010 00:52:59,396 --> 00:53:01,933 He's sick. He no can do this. 1011 00:53:01,966 --> 00:53:04,367 So I need you, brah. I need you to go ahead 1012 00:53:04,401 --> 00:53:06,469 and do the fire knife dance with me, okay? 1013 00:53:06,503 --> 00:53:08,605 Say-hoo! Okay? 1014 00:53:09,006 --> 00:53:10,942 I'll throw in another $20 come payday. 1015 00:53:10,975 --> 00:53:14,477 - Say-hoo! - Say-hoo! 1016 00:53:14,511 --> 00:53:17,715 - Ah-ha! - Ah-ha! 1017 00:53:23,888 --> 00:53:26,858 Let's do this! 1018 00:53:30,761 --> 00:53:32,897 This next song I would like to play 1019 00:53:32,930 --> 00:53:36,701 comes straight from the heart. Kind of tugs at me sometimes. 1020 00:53:36,734 --> 00:53:39,536 So I'd like to just give you my mana'o 1021 00:53:39,569 --> 00:53:42,439 and my aloha to you guys, okay? 1022 00:54:02,093 --> 00:54:06,063 ♪ When I think about my island home ♪ 1023 00:54:06,764 --> 00:54:08,866 ♪ I smile ♪ 1024 00:54:12,636 --> 00:54:16,040 ♪ and when I think about my island home ♪ 1025 00:54:16,874 --> 00:54:19,977 ♪ sometimes I cry ♪ 1026 00:54:22,646 --> 00:54:26,918 ♪ because some people came to my island ♪ 1027 00:54:26,951 --> 00:54:30,788 ♪ and they took it all away ♪ 1028 00:54:33,724 --> 00:54:37,194 ♪ and sometimes I'd like to hit them ♪ 1029 00:54:37,228 --> 00:54:41,564 ♪ and kick them in the shin and make them go away ♪ 1030 00:54:44,501 --> 00:54:47,071 ♪ and then captain cook came on the ships ♪ 1031 00:54:47,104 --> 00:54:49,006 ♪ they brought some diseases ♪ 1032 00:54:49,040 --> 00:54:52,944 ♪ and my people they can't live... ♪ 1033 00:54:53,510 --> 00:54:56,180 Oh, what a wonderful song. I feel your pain. 1034 00:54:56,213 --> 00:54:59,717 Okay, ladies and gentlemen, coming up we're gonna get... 1035 00:54:59,750 --> 00:55:01,651 Every time I sing that song. 1036 00:55:01,686 --> 00:55:05,156 Wonderful dancer coming up right after this. 1037 00:55:05,189 --> 00:55:07,490 On the bounty. 1038 00:55:07,524 --> 00:55:10,493 Ladies and gentlemen, from the islands of Tahiti, 1039 00:55:28,012 --> 00:55:29,146 Woo! 1040 00:55:43,127 --> 00:55:44,895 Whoa, whoa, whoa! 1041 00:55:44,929 --> 00:55:49,800 Hey! 1042 00:55:52,336 --> 00:55:55,605 Yeah! Ha-ha-ha! 1043 00:55:55,638 --> 00:55:57,108 - You ready to eat some fire? - What? 1044 00:55:57,141 --> 00:55:58,309 Ready to eat some fire? 1045 00:55:58,342 --> 00:56:00,111 Anybody want to eat some fire? 1046 00:56:13,224 --> 00:56:15,326 Eat the fire! Woo! 1047 00:56:21,132 --> 00:56:23,234 - Makes no sense. - Tell me about it. 1048 00:56:23,267 --> 00:56:25,169 They're the ones acting like little kids. 1049 00:56:25,202 --> 00:56:27,671 Worse. I mean, my mom hits on everything that moves. 1050 00:56:27,705 --> 00:56:29,639 It's disgusting. 1051 00:56:29,673 --> 00:56:32,877 Oh, yeah? This is the first job my dad has had in forever. 1052 00:56:32,910 --> 00:56:35,079 And I don't think he's gonna have it long. 1053 00:56:35,112 --> 00:56:37,782 I even saw him trying to teach yoga. 1054 00:56:38,516 --> 00:56:41,018 And they're the ones always telling us how to act. 1055 00:56:41,052 --> 00:56:43,054 - Oh, please. - Yeah, I know. 1056 00:56:55,266 --> 00:56:59,003 Kaila! Kaila, over here! 1057 00:57:07,044 --> 00:57:09,847 Hey! Busted! 1058 00:57:09,880 --> 00:57:11,348 - Now, what? - It wasn't my idea. 1059 00:57:11,382 --> 00:57:13,217 Take your mask off. 1060 00:57:14,919 --> 00:57:16,887 No way. 1061 00:57:16,921 --> 00:57:21,725 Second violation, $1,500 by tomorrow morning. 1062 00:57:21,759 --> 00:57:23,626 So how much you pay the kid to do that? 1063 00:57:23,661 --> 00:57:25,729 - Excuse me? - Come on, man. 1064 00:57:25,763 --> 00:57:28,399 Same thing every day. When are you gonna get creative? 1065 00:57:28,432 --> 00:57:30,334 Don't think I can't see through your scam. 1066 00:57:30,367 --> 00:57:32,403 I recommend you watch yourself. 1067 00:57:32,436 --> 00:57:35,339 What you gonna do? Hit me with your county clipboard? 1068 00:57:35,372 --> 00:57:38,742 Oh, no, let me see. You're writing chapter three 1069 00:57:38,776 --> 00:57:41,011 of your book how you sold out the Hawaiian islands. 1070 00:57:41,045 --> 00:57:42,146 Don't think I never see you 1071 00:57:42,179 --> 00:57:43,747 with the developer guy 1072 00:57:43,781 --> 00:57:45,325 - in the parking lot. - Clear violation of 1073 00:57:45,349 --> 00:57:49,687 a4221242242-a, insulting and intimidating 1074 00:57:49,720 --> 00:57:52,289 of a county employee, punishable by five grand 1075 00:57:52,323 --> 00:57:54,058 or one year in prison. 1076 00:57:54,758 --> 00:57:56,260 You! 1077 00:57:56,894 --> 00:57:59,163 $5 grand or one year in prison. 1078 00:57:59,897 --> 00:58:02,766 Okay. Mahalo. So we'll see you next week. 1079 00:58:03,467 --> 00:58:05,736 Okay. Aloha. 1080 00:58:06,737 --> 00:58:08,873 You sold my poster. 1081 00:58:09,573 --> 00:58:11,809 I know I'm probably late for something. 1082 00:58:11,842 --> 00:58:14,211 Okay, so someone from the college called for you. 1083 00:58:14,245 --> 00:58:17,014 A Dean hammer? She wanted you to stop by her office. 1084 00:58:17,047 --> 00:58:18,916 - Why? - Didn't say. 1085 00:58:20,217 --> 00:58:22,686 She wants to give me back my scholarship? 1086 00:58:22,720 --> 00:58:24,421 She didn't say. 1087 00:58:24,455 --> 00:58:28,425 - What, it's selling? - Made like $8 so far. 1088 00:58:28,459 --> 00:58:31,228 Like, yeah, you'd have to pay for a surf coach. 1089 00:58:31,262 --> 00:58:33,364 - Yeah, thanks. - Hey. 1090 00:58:33,397 --> 00:58:36,200 It's not tragic doing something you love. 1091 00:58:36,233 --> 00:58:38,202 Yeah, okay. Also, you make no sense. 1092 00:58:38,235 --> 00:58:40,304 And you gotta stop using other surfer's quotes 1093 00:58:40,337 --> 00:58:42,973 - like they're yours. - Oh, sorry. 1094 00:58:44,441 --> 00:58:46,944 Whatever. Don't forget to call Dean hammer back. 1095 00:58:48,045 --> 00:58:50,381 And remember, if you're a hammer, 1096 00:58:50,414 --> 00:58:52,416 you tend to see all the problems 1097 00:58:52,449 --> 00:58:55,753 as a nail. Okay, I gotta go. 1098 00:58:56,921 --> 00:58:59,323 If I'm a hammer... 1099 00:59:04,895 --> 00:59:07,331 Hey. Where are you going? 1100 00:59:07,364 --> 00:59:09,166 - Home. - What? 1101 00:59:12,002 --> 00:59:13,337 Hey, what you doing here? 1102 00:59:13,370 --> 00:59:15,172 She's not even supposed to be here. 1103 00:59:15,206 --> 00:59:17,141 I told her she couldn't come, but she came. 1104 00:59:18,108 --> 00:59:19,376 Is that true? 1105 00:59:22,947 --> 00:59:25,249 Do you really think I want to be doing this, tai? 1106 00:59:25,282 --> 00:59:27,952 Be the bitchy ex? I got bills too. 1107 00:59:27,985 --> 00:59:31,322 No, things at the college are changing. I... 1108 00:59:31,355 --> 00:59:33,791 Things change all the frickin' time, for everybody. 1109 00:59:33,824 --> 00:59:35,826 Brotha, you gotta grow up already. 1110 00:59:38,095 --> 00:59:39,964 This is from family court. 1111 00:59:39,997 --> 00:59:42,766 If you don't pay it, you don't get to see her. 1112 00:59:42,800 --> 00:59:44,268 Simple. 1113 00:59:46,870 --> 00:59:49,840 Alana, I promise, I'm gonna fix this. 1114 00:59:49,873 --> 00:59:51,809 I'm gonna make everything good. Hey. 1115 00:59:52,309 --> 00:59:55,145 Don't forget, I got that birthday gift for you, okay? 1116 00:59:55,179 --> 00:59:57,414 Tai. Please put it in the mail. 1117 00:59:57,848 --> 01:00:00,351 'Cause if you show up and you haven't paid, 1118 01:00:00,384 --> 01:00:02,286 I really don't want to have you arrested. 1119 01:00:07,057 --> 01:00:09,226 I may have underestimated you. 1120 01:00:09,260 --> 01:00:12,296 And I definitely underestimated you! 1121 01:00:12,329 --> 01:00:14,531 And how you messed things up for me and my family. 1122 01:00:14,565 --> 01:00:17,768 I'm sorry. The thing is... 1123 01:00:18,402 --> 01:00:21,939 I looked back over your file. Okay? 1124 01:00:22,506 --> 01:00:25,876 Prior to taking astronomy 101 for 21 semesters in a row, 1125 01:00:26,377 --> 01:00:28,846 you actually took a wide variety of courses 1126 01:00:28,879 --> 01:00:30,914 in a wide variety of disciplines. 1127 01:00:30,948 --> 01:00:33,083 Yeah, except math. I don't dig math. 1128 01:00:33,117 --> 01:00:36,520 Oh! You see, that's exactly why I called you in here today. 1129 01:00:36,553 --> 01:00:41,191 This is precisely about digging or not digging math. 1130 01:00:41,225 --> 01:00:45,029 Yeah, well, you know it's just if you was a guy, 1131 01:00:45,062 --> 01:00:47,231 I would want to kick your ass right now. 1132 01:00:47,264 --> 01:00:50,901 But I'm digging the new look. 1133 01:00:50,934 --> 01:00:53,904 Yeah, the blouse. Your hair. 1134 01:00:53,937 --> 01:00:58,242 The plumeria in your ear. Wow! Looking sharp. 1135 01:00:58,275 --> 01:01:01,178 Real sharp. Look, you're wearing slippers. 1136 01:01:01,211 --> 01:01:03,914 I'm digging the whole tropical makeover. 1137 01:01:03,947 --> 01:01:07,618 Now, all you have to do is wear that with some aloha 1138 01:01:07,651 --> 01:01:10,220 instead of the mainland attitude. 1139 01:01:10,254 --> 01:01:13,390 Okay. So the reason I called you here today, 1140 01:01:14,058 --> 01:01:16,360 if you could complete just one math credit, 1141 01:01:16,393 --> 01:01:19,063 you would actually have your associate's degree 1142 01:01:19,096 --> 01:01:20,931 in several different disciplines. 1143 01:01:20,964 --> 01:01:24,134 Nah, no need. Math isn't for me. 1144 01:01:24,168 --> 01:01:26,904 You could even take the course online. 1145 01:01:26,937 --> 01:01:29,073 It would really help your job prospects. 1146 01:01:29,106 --> 01:01:30,607 Nah, I'm good. 1147 01:01:31,542 --> 01:01:33,277 Please, just think about it. 1148 01:01:33,310 --> 01:01:36,146 We want to see our students actually graduate. 1149 01:01:36,647 --> 01:01:38,382 It's the key to our success as well. 1150 01:01:38,415 --> 01:01:42,086 Please, just, you're so close. 1151 01:01:43,487 --> 01:01:45,055 Okay. 1152 01:02:13,217 --> 01:02:15,886 No! No! No! 1153 01:02:34,505 --> 01:02:37,007 Hey, little man. Come up with that five grand yet? 1154 01:02:37,040 --> 01:02:39,042 What, you surf? Would you like a surf lesson? 1155 01:02:39,076 --> 01:02:40,978 - Excuse me? - Huh? On the house. 1156 01:02:41,011 --> 01:02:43,313 - That's not how citations work. - For real. For free! 1157 01:02:43,347 --> 01:02:46,150 On the house, brah. On me. What? 1158 01:02:46,183 --> 01:02:48,352 I already boogie board. 1159 01:02:48,887 --> 01:02:51,221 Tai, boss wants a word in the office. 1160 01:02:53,624 --> 01:02:55,426 Hey, brah, where's shivy pupu? 1161 01:02:55,860 --> 01:02:58,028 I haven't seen diaper boy in a few days. 1162 01:02:58,061 --> 01:03:00,732 Yeah, he missed his awakening your magma class yesterday. 1163 01:03:00,765 --> 01:03:04,501 And maybe the day before, too, now that I think about it. 1164 01:03:06,136 --> 01:03:08,706 You know I avoid that fool at all costs. 1165 01:03:10,742 --> 01:03:13,477 Okay, we're gonna go with this meeting without him. 1166 01:03:14,578 --> 01:03:15,979 I, uh... 1167 01:03:17,047 --> 01:03:18,615 I got some really sad news. 1168 01:03:21,251 --> 01:03:22,653 They're gonna shut us down, brah. 1169 01:03:23,420 --> 01:03:26,390 Something that existed before the county. 1170 01:03:26,423 --> 01:03:29,460 Something that existed before there was a state. 1171 01:03:29,493 --> 01:03:32,196 Something that existed 1172 01:03:32,229 --> 01:03:35,733 before they stole the Hawaiian lands from our people. 1173 01:03:35,767 --> 01:03:38,068 What? Why? 1174 01:03:38,101 --> 01:03:41,238 'Cause I can't pay the fines, brah. 1175 01:03:41,605 --> 01:03:44,141 The graffiti thing that was on the wall. 1176 01:03:45,042 --> 01:03:46,176 That was number eight. 1177 01:03:46,878 --> 01:03:50,080 Then they said something about the cottages, 1178 01:03:50,113 --> 01:03:52,750 the zoning is not working. 1179 01:03:54,451 --> 01:03:57,488 Oh. We got 48 hours, brah. 1180 01:03:57,956 --> 01:04:00,658 - There's nothing we can do? - Like what? 1181 01:04:00,692 --> 01:04:02,626 I don't know. Take a pay cut? 1182 01:04:02,993 --> 01:04:05,429 You know, I really wanted to pay all you guys, 1183 01:04:05,462 --> 01:04:07,564 but that bank froze my accounts 1184 01:04:07,598 --> 01:04:11,401 until I can make everything right with the county. 1185 01:04:11,435 --> 01:04:14,104 Wait, so we're not gonna get paid for the last two weeks? 1186 01:04:14,137 --> 01:04:16,273 No guarantee, my friend. 1187 01:04:16,741 --> 01:04:18,542 Maybe you could go ahead 1188 01:04:18,575 --> 01:04:21,111 and teach the yoga class, brah, for tips. 1189 01:04:21,478 --> 01:04:23,213 I mean, I would really like, 1190 01:04:23,247 --> 01:04:25,649 and I hope you guys would really like that these guests 1191 01:04:25,683 --> 01:04:29,052 get one last mahalo nui. 1192 01:04:29,620 --> 01:04:32,122 One last aloha from us. 1193 01:04:32,155 --> 01:04:37,160 Wait. So you let me teach yoga. What about moe? 1194 01:04:38,195 --> 01:04:40,397 What 'bout moe? Let's go. 1195 01:04:45,803 --> 01:04:47,538 You know, in the positive column, 1196 01:04:47,571 --> 01:04:49,841 you can I can train together really hard. 1197 01:04:49,874 --> 01:04:51,809 'Cause you gotta win this surf contest. 1198 01:04:51,843 --> 01:04:54,311 - Not happening. - What are you talkin' about? 1199 01:04:54,712 --> 01:04:56,547 It's just a stupid pipe dream. 1200 01:04:56,580 --> 01:04:59,650 I started too late. I should have already won juniors by now. 1201 01:04:59,684 --> 01:05:02,553 What are you talking about? You got all the skills! 1202 01:05:02,586 --> 01:05:05,589 Right now, it's the best time to be a female pro. 1203 01:05:05,622 --> 01:05:07,591 You know what? It's actually better this way. 1204 01:05:07,624 --> 01:05:09,526 My aunt in Vegas has been trying to get me 1205 01:05:09,560 --> 01:05:12,730 to move out forever. And she could hook me up with a job. 1206 01:05:12,764 --> 01:05:13,831 And I'd be set. 1207 01:05:13,865 --> 01:05:16,066 We gotta do this one last one. 1208 01:05:16,400 --> 01:05:18,435 I've already decided, tai. 1209 01:05:18,468 --> 01:05:20,537 Taking this job, and thinking I can make it 1210 01:05:20,571 --> 01:05:22,774 on the pro tour was a stupid idea. 1211 01:05:22,807 --> 01:05:25,242 I got a sponsorship and everything. 1212 01:05:25,275 --> 01:05:27,444 Free wax? Come on! 1213 01:05:28,612 --> 01:05:30,614 No. I'm booking my ticket tonight. 1214 01:05:33,350 --> 01:05:34,484 What's that? 1215 01:05:36,653 --> 01:05:37,855 This? 1216 01:05:39,924 --> 01:05:41,625 - Don't worry about it. - Hey! 1217 01:05:42,760 --> 01:05:44,294 Thanks for coaching me. 1218 01:06:01,178 --> 01:06:04,348 Hey! You should have let me piss on his leg 1219 01:06:04,381 --> 01:06:05,683 when you had the chance. 1220 01:06:13,557 --> 01:06:15,827 The infection spread all the way up to his knee. 1221 01:06:15,860 --> 01:06:17,829 We're just now getting back from the er. 1222 01:06:17,862 --> 01:06:20,698 Hey, look, I'm sorry. I'm really sorry. 1223 01:06:20,732 --> 01:06:22,800 No, it's too late. The babymoon is over. 1224 01:06:25,703 --> 01:06:27,137 Are those good? 1225 01:06:28,572 --> 01:06:29,674 Come, sit down. 1226 01:06:34,277 --> 01:06:36,413 So take a look at me for a second. 1227 01:06:36,981 --> 01:06:39,650 I'm, like, maybe 43 years old. 1228 01:06:39,684 --> 01:06:41,418 Got kicked off the pro tour. 1229 01:06:41,786 --> 01:06:45,355 I messed it up with the one lady that I really love. 1230 01:06:45,389 --> 01:06:47,257 And I get my daughter one weekend 1231 01:06:47,290 --> 01:06:49,226 out of the whole month. 1232 01:06:49,259 --> 01:06:51,395 And even that might be ending. 1233 01:06:51,796 --> 01:06:53,731 And now, the hotel's getting shut down. 1234 01:06:54,132 --> 01:06:56,600 - What? - The county inspector came. 1235 01:06:56,633 --> 01:06:58,903 - Shutting us down. - Why? 1236 01:06:59,369 --> 01:07:02,774 Some big developer gonna come, tear this place down, 1237 01:07:02,807 --> 01:07:04,274 and put up a big resort. 1238 01:07:04,876 --> 01:07:08,245 And you're just gonna sit here and stuff your face? 1239 01:07:09,914 --> 01:07:12,582 You're like a cautionary tale. 1240 01:07:12,950 --> 01:07:14,919 I heard that one before. 1241 01:07:15,485 --> 01:07:17,989 You know, it's like that half glass full, 1242 01:07:18,022 --> 01:07:19,791 half glass empty thing. 1243 01:07:19,824 --> 01:07:22,459 You know, I'm in Hawaii with the man I love. 1244 01:07:22,492 --> 01:07:26,396 Pregnant. Weather in Portland is sleeting, like 13 degrees. 1245 01:07:26,430 --> 01:07:28,365 - Exactly! - You know. 1246 01:07:28,398 --> 01:07:30,600 And I get to meet people like you. 1247 01:07:30,902 --> 01:07:32,302 You know, real people. 1248 01:07:32,970 --> 01:07:35,773 Not those fake, smiling concierges. 1249 01:07:35,807 --> 01:07:39,309 Or the aloha, maholo, aloha maids at the big resorts. 1250 01:07:39,342 --> 01:07:42,612 I'm talking about real people. 1251 01:07:42,646 --> 01:07:44,614 I know what you're talking about. 1252 01:07:44,648 --> 01:07:47,451 You know, the kind of people that aren't afraid to show that 1253 01:07:47,484 --> 01:07:50,688 they resent you for trampling all over their paradise. 1254 01:07:56,694 --> 01:08:00,665 Or show you a little aloha if that's what they're feeling. 1255 01:08:06,037 --> 01:08:07,972 And that's the thing, tai. 1256 01:08:08,572 --> 01:08:11,274 They shouldn't tear this place down. 1257 01:08:11,308 --> 01:08:14,011 This is an authentic experience we're having. 1258 01:08:14,045 --> 01:08:16,546 Yeah. This hotel has been in the family 1259 01:08:16,580 --> 01:08:18,281 for almost 200 years! 1260 01:08:18,648 --> 01:08:20,818 Well, then, why are you just sitting there! 1261 01:08:21,384 --> 01:08:23,755 When you're down in a surf competition, 1262 01:08:23,788 --> 01:08:26,623 did you just paddle in? Or throw in the towel? 1263 01:08:27,125 --> 01:08:28,993 No. I never owned a towel. 1264 01:08:29,026 --> 01:08:31,896 Damn right you didn't! It's the same thing here. 1265 01:08:33,731 --> 01:08:36,299 You gotta fight for this place. Come on. 1266 01:08:36,768 --> 01:08:38,602 - Let's go! - Hustle. 1267 01:08:40,570 --> 01:08:42,506 As if there was a point to any of this, 1268 01:08:42,539 --> 01:08:43,540 let's check the radar. 1269 01:08:43,573 --> 01:08:45,042 Oh, boy. There it is. 1270 01:08:45,076 --> 01:08:47,577 Daily temperatures of 84 degrees. 1271 01:08:47,611 --> 01:08:49,412 Let's see if there's any precipitation. 1272 01:08:49,446 --> 01:08:51,716 Nope. And not a cloud in the sky. 1273 01:08:51,749 --> 01:08:53,961 I don't even have to look at that when I know there's none. 1274 01:08:53,985 --> 01:08:55,887 And that's about it from here in weather. 1275 01:08:55,920 --> 01:08:58,588 So sending it right back to you, mahina. 1276 01:08:58,622 --> 01:09:01,424 Psst. Dougie! Dougie. 1277 01:09:05,797 --> 01:09:08,666 Brah, amazing how bad you suck. 1278 01:09:08,699 --> 01:09:10,868 I know. To be honest with you, 1279 01:09:10,902 --> 01:09:13,436 sometimes I feel like I want to off myself on air. 1280 01:09:13,470 --> 01:09:16,473 Dude, forget that. Hey, didn't you tell me one time 1281 01:09:16,506 --> 01:09:19,342 you wanted to be like a big, investigative reporter? 1282 01:09:19,777 --> 01:09:21,378 Maybe in high school. 1283 01:09:21,411 --> 01:09:23,090 Brah, I got the perfect case you can crack! 1284 01:09:23,114 --> 01:09:24,648 We're gonna blow this thing up! 1285 01:09:24,682 --> 01:09:26,684 Do I look like I'm gonna blow anything up? 1286 01:09:26,717 --> 01:09:28,920 Brah, plus the way you're doing weather, 1287 01:09:28,953 --> 01:09:30,864 you're either gonna get fired, or you're gonna look 1288 01:09:30,888 --> 01:09:32,455 just like that guy right there. 1289 01:09:32,990 --> 01:09:34,725 Yeah, you're probably right. 1290 01:09:34,759 --> 01:09:36,661 That's too bad. Can I just be honest with you? 1291 01:09:36,694 --> 01:09:38,461 - Sure. - You're not as good-looking 1292 01:09:38,495 --> 01:09:39,596 as you was before. 1293 01:09:40,031 --> 01:09:42,399 - I know. - Every time I see you, 1294 01:09:42,432 --> 01:09:44,534 - you're a little fatter. - That's not my fault. 1295 01:09:44,568 --> 01:09:46,403 I eat when I get bored or hungry. 1296 01:09:46,436 --> 01:09:48,614 - Your hair's thinning out. - Nothing I can do about that. 1297 01:09:48,638 --> 01:09:50,041 I take the pills. Nothing works. 1298 01:09:50,074 --> 01:09:51,608 You gotta remember, 1299 01:09:51,641 --> 01:09:53,577 do the things you fear the most, 1300 01:09:53,610 --> 01:09:56,479 the death of fear is certain. 1301 01:09:57,315 --> 01:10:00,885 - Are you quoting laird again? - Hey, f-u! That's Mark twain. 1302 01:10:01,384 --> 01:10:04,487 Maybe confucius. Or maybe even me. 1303 01:10:07,058 --> 01:10:08,558 Let me grab my camera. 1304 01:10:09,160 --> 01:10:10,695 Yeah. That's my boy. 1305 01:10:10,728 --> 01:10:13,430 Dougie! You're rolling! Roll, Dougie! 1306 01:10:13,463 --> 01:10:17,034 Roll 'em! Yeah! Yeah! 1307 01:10:17,068 --> 01:10:19,436 Woo! 1308 01:10:19,469 --> 01:10:22,106 Yeah, come on, you frickin'. Woo! 1309 01:10:28,445 --> 01:10:30,181 Hey! 1310 01:10:30,214 --> 01:10:33,184 Help! 1311 01:10:33,217 --> 01:10:35,820 - Yeah! - Help! 1312 01:10:35,853 --> 01:10:37,788 Come on. Come on. 1313 01:10:40,791 --> 01:10:43,194 - What's your name, boy? - Ethan. 1314 01:10:43,227 --> 01:10:45,696 - Your last name. - Leftin. 1315 01:10:45,730 --> 01:10:48,065 - Are you getting this, Dougie? - Yeah, copy that. 10-4. 1316 01:10:48,099 --> 01:10:50,167 Camera's rolling. Sound is speeding. 1317 01:10:50,201 --> 01:10:52,535 - Hey. Calm down, Dougie. - I'm calm. We are live! 1318 01:10:52,569 --> 01:10:55,039 Hey, now that we rescued your skinny ass 1319 01:10:55,072 --> 01:10:56,941 out of the water, you're gonna tell us 1320 01:10:56,974 --> 01:10:59,509 who would pay you for graffiti that wall. 1321 01:10:59,542 --> 01:11:02,179 - You're on national TV! - International! 1322 01:11:02,213 --> 01:11:04,916 - It was the guy from the county. - Louder! 1323 01:11:04,949 --> 01:11:08,652 - Describe the lowlife. - He gave me $75 each time. 1324 01:11:08,686 --> 01:11:11,454 - And I only did it... - Okay, spare us the reasons why, 1325 01:11:11,488 --> 01:11:14,659 you skinny-ass punk. Describe the guy that paid you. 1326 01:11:14,692 --> 01:11:16,861 - Calm down, Dougie. - I'm calm! 1327 01:11:16,894 --> 01:11:18,461 I think his name was Peter poulet. 1328 01:11:18,930 --> 01:11:21,832 You know, the guy who wears his pants a little too high. 1329 01:11:21,866 --> 01:11:24,135 Yeah, and the male camel toe situation. 1330 01:11:24,168 --> 01:11:26,503 - I noticed that too. - Ugh, disgusting. 1331 01:11:26,536 --> 01:11:29,472 Yeah. But who paid him? Who are you working for? 1332 01:11:29,506 --> 01:11:32,475 - Yeah, who's paying him? - I don't know. 1333 01:11:32,509 --> 01:11:34,879 Hey, boy. You like who shut down this hotel? 1334 01:11:34,912 --> 01:11:36,948 You like this place called waikiki? 1335 01:11:36,981 --> 01:11:40,251 That means no more kiting for you and the crew! 1336 01:11:40,284 --> 01:11:41,919 So what you gonna do? 1337 01:11:41,953 --> 01:11:43,620 I don't know. I'm sorry. 1338 01:11:43,653 --> 01:11:46,791 I only did it so I could buy a new kite. 1339 01:11:46,824 --> 01:11:49,193 I'm not done with you yet. You're coming with us. 1340 01:11:51,594 --> 01:11:53,530 The office should be right down there. 1341 01:11:54,098 --> 01:11:55,933 Hey, after we do this, I gotta get back, 1342 01:11:55,967 --> 01:11:57,234 teach my yoga class. 1343 01:11:57,268 --> 01:11:59,203 - You do yoga? - Yeah. Shut up. 1344 01:11:59,236 --> 01:12:01,906 Don't judge eagles based on opinions of turkeys. 1345 01:12:01,939 --> 01:12:04,942 Wo-ho, snap. I was rolling live on that one, brotha. 1346 01:12:04,976 --> 01:12:07,144 Wait, how is that thing even live? 1347 01:12:07,178 --> 01:12:10,047 - How 'bout I kick your ass live? - Dougie! Come on, Dougie. 1348 01:12:27,630 --> 01:12:30,067 All right. On the count of three, go ahead. 1349 01:12:30,101 --> 01:12:32,635 Three, two... 1350 01:12:32,670 --> 01:12:35,072 Wait, wait, wait. On one, or go after? 1351 01:12:35,773 --> 01:12:37,775 - Three. - Three, two, and then one? 1352 01:12:37,808 --> 01:12:39,176 - Yes. - Or go... 1353 01:12:39,210 --> 01:12:41,746 - Three, two, one, then go. - Okay. On one. 1354 01:12:41,779 --> 01:12:43,280 - Yes. - Or one, and then go? 1355 01:12:43,314 --> 01:12:44,949 One and then go, okay. 1356 01:12:55,359 --> 01:12:59,063 All right, class. It's time for the crouching vana. 1357 01:12:59,096 --> 01:13:01,766 Some of you guys who wasn't here, or missed it, 1358 01:13:01,799 --> 01:13:04,601 basically, what you're gonna do is, you're gonna put yourself 1359 01:13:04,634 --> 01:13:06,303 into a tight ball. 1360 01:13:06,337 --> 01:13:08,638 Okay? You're gonna hold your breath. 1361 01:13:08,672 --> 01:13:11,308 Okay. Everybody, come on. Follow me. Get down. 1362 01:13:11,342 --> 01:13:13,911 Into a ball. Like an urchin. There you go. 1363 01:13:13,944 --> 01:13:16,646 That's the crouching vana. Now, hold your breath. 1364 01:13:18,849 --> 01:13:21,352 All right? All this breathing thing 1365 01:13:21,385 --> 01:13:25,656 that shiv is talking about, how breath is the breastmilk, 1366 01:13:25,689 --> 01:13:28,225 that's disgusting! It's not even important! 1367 01:13:28,259 --> 01:13:30,294 What's important? Holding your breath. 1368 01:13:30,327 --> 01:13:32,763 What if we get wiped by a big-ass wave, 1369 01:13:32,797 --> 01:13:35,199 or someone drops a nasty pooey on you? Huh? 1370 01:13:35,232 --> 01:13:36,767 Hold your breath. 1371 01:13:37,701 --> 01:13:39,236 Speaking of farting, 1372 01:13:39,270 --> 01:13:41,705 anybody have to share something with the class? 1373 01:13:42,339 --> 01:13:44,607 Okay, because, you know, that kind of offering 1374 01:13:44,641 --> 01:13:47,344 is acceptable. 1375 01:13:47,378 --> 01:13:49,313 It actually sounds like someone needs help. 1376 01:13:49,346 --> 01:13:51,315 Okay. Hold on. 1377 01:13:51,348 --> 01:13:53,784 Stay there in urchin! 1378 01:13:53,818 --> 01:13:56,586 And remember, don't breathe! 1379 01:13:58,889 --> 01:14:01,358 And don't forget, tip, tip. 1380 01:14:09,233 --> 01:14:11,368 I knew you were kinky. 1381 01:14:14,105 --> 01:14:17,875 Hey, but if it feels good for you, then it's okay with me. 1382 01:14:17,908 --> 01:14:20,711 If you okay with it, not passing any judgment. 1383 01:14:26,317 --> 01:14:28,052 Always gotta be the good samaritan. 1384 01:14:45,202 --> 01:14:47,404 What? 1385 01:14:50,107 --> 01:14:52,176 I can't understand what you're saying. 1386 01:14:52,209 --> 01:14:54,778 What? You want me to set you free? 1387 01:14:54,812 --> 01:14:56,914 If I do that, 1388 01:14:56,947 --> 01:14:58,983 you better play fair. For example, 1389 01:14:59,016 --> 01:15:00,784 who has priority over the beach? 1390 01:15:00,818 --> 01:15:03,187 Anytime, anywhere, forever? 1391 01:15:03,220 --> 01:15:04,989 - You. - Okay. 1392 01:15:05,956 --> 01:15:07,925 What took you so long? 1393 01:15:07,958 --> 01:15:09,693 What are you talking about? 1394 01:15:09,727 --> 01:15:12,763 I've been here for 17 days and 17 nights. 1395 01:15:12,796 --> 01:15:15,332 More like five hours, but nobody care. 1396 01:15:15,866 --> 01:15:20,171 I've got to get out of here. Untie my hands and feet. 1397 01:15:21,105 --> 01:15:23,974 I do that, you're gonna owe me. 1398 01:15:30,514 --> 01:15:33,217 Oh! You want a green goddess too? 1399 01:15:33,250 --> 01:15:35,486 Added a splash of vodka. 1400 01:15:35,519 --> 01:15:38,255 Nah, I'm good. That stuff make me crap my board shorts. 1401 01:15:38,289 --> 01:15:40,858 Who said you could take his gag off? 1402 01:15:40,891 --> 01:15:43,294 What you doing gagging him? I mean, like, I understand, 1403 01:15:43,327 --> 01:15:46,197 because there are many times that I wanted to gag him. 1404 01:15:46,230 --> 01:15:48,999 And who gave you permission to ask for help? 1405 01:15:49,033 --> 01:15:50,768 But I was saying the safe word. 1406 01:15:51,835 --> 01:15:53,771 Well, I couldn't understand you. 1407 01:15:53,804 --> 01:15:55,839 You know what? Hey, get out of here. 1408 01:15:55,873 --> 01:15:57,408 I'll handle this. Get out of here. 1409 01:15:57,441 --> 01:16:00,177 But we had something special. 1410 01:16:00,211 --> 01:16:03,147 - But it hurts too much. - Well, love hurts sometimes. 1411 01:16:04,348 --> 01:16:06,383 Hey. Hold on. Hold on. 1412 01:16:06,417 --> 01:16:08,986 Get ready, Hawaii, because the real story 1413 01:16:09,019 --> 01:16:12,389 is going live this afternoon. Press conference and everything 1414 01:16:12,423 --> 01:16:15,125 scandal of the century right here! 1415 01:16:15,159 --> 01:16:18,362 No, mahina, stay right there. People want to know the truth. 1416 01:16:18,395 --> 01:16:20,431 We're gonna go to commercial break. 1417 01:16:20,464 --> 01:16:22,866 Wait, stop. Get off me. 'Cause we are not gonna go 1418 01:16:22,900 --> 01:16:25,236 to commercial because people want to know the truth. 1419 01:16:25,269 --> 01:16:27,204 I have secret footage to show everybody. 1420 01:16:27,238 --> 01:16:30,107 No, because I am sick of being just a weatherman, okay? 1421 01:16:30,140 --> 01:16:32,943 I have more potential than that everyone has more potential, 1422 01:16:32,977 --> 01:16:34,478 even miss mahina has more potential. 1423 01:16:59,169 --> 01:17:00,771 And here we go. 1424 01:17:01,305 --> 01:17:03,240 Thank you, boss. 1425 01:17:03,274 --> 01:17:06,343 So what we have uncovered here 1426 01:17:06,377 --> 01:17:09,413 is that this guy right here 1427 01:17:09,446 --> 01:17:13,250 is a pawn. And the kid he paid money to 1428 01:17:13,284 --> 01:17:17,354 even more of a pawn, and getting money for somebody else, right? 1429 01:17:18,489 --> 01:17:20,557 So why don't you tell everybody, 1430 01:17:20,591 --> 01:17:22,259 why don't you tell the whole world, 1431 01:17:22,293 --> 01:17:24,128 right now, who you work for. 1432 01:17:26,163 --> 01:17:29,466 I was taking bribes from an executive at conquistador. 1433 01:17:29,500 --> 01:17:30,567 What else? 1434 01:17:31,568 --> 01:17:34,104 Their goal was to run this place into the ground. 1435 01:17:34,138 --> 01:17:37,241 Buy the land cheap and build a luxury resort. 1436 01:17:37,274 --> 01:17:39,576 Ba-bam! I got that. I was rolling, 1437 01:17:39,610 --> 01:17:42,313 - and I got that on tape. - Hey! Dougie, calm down! 1438 01:17:42,346 --> 01:17:44,615 - Calm down. - You're going down. 1439 01:17:44,648 --> 01:17:47,584 So why don't you tell everybody where this guy's at right now. 1440 01:17:47,618 --> 01:17:49,887 I think he's at that surf competition. 1441 01:17:49,920 --> 01:17:51,288 What? 1442 01:17:51,822 --> 01:17:55,426 Yeah. The conquistador club is the main sponsor 1443 01:17:55,459 --> 01:17:57,294 trying to get in good with the locals. 1444 01:17:58,896 --> 01:18:00,197 For real? 1445 01:18:00,564 --> 01:18:02,900 Surf competition today? 1446 01:18:04,301 --> 01:18:07,438 Yeah. Swell filled in. I got called this morning. 1447 01:18:07,471 --> 01:18:09,440 So what are we waiting for? Let's go! 1448 01:18:11,075 --> 01:18:15,379 Hey. Quitting, easy. Daring to triumph, hard. 1449 01:18:15,412 --> 01:18:17,381 - Is that Yoda? - No, it's actually 1450 01:18:17,414 --> 01:18:19,116 a laird Hamilton quote. 1451 01:18:19,149 --> 01:18:21,985 How many of you guys want to see this badass 1452 01:18:22,019 --> 01:18:24,355 surf in a competition today? 1453 01:18:27,091 --> 01:18:29,460 - Got to listen to the people. - Okay. 1454 01:18:29,493 --> 01:18:31,562 But only if you do this. 1455 01:18:31,595 --> 01:18:34,898 - What's this? - Online math class. 1456 01:18:34,932 --> 01:18:37,267 I already signed you up. And I can coach you. 1457 01:18:37,301 --> 01:18:40,137 Okay. But surf first. 1458 01:18:40,170 --> 01:18:41,939 - Okay. - Let's go. 1459 01:18:42,873 --> 01:18:45,275 Aloha! Coming at you with today's daily 1460 01:18:45,309 --> 01:18:48,345 rubber neck surf check. And surf today is unreal! 1461 01:18:48,379 --> 01:18:50,381 It's pumping in the three to five-foot range. 1462 01:18:50,414 --> 01:18:52,282 Perfect time for the finals. 1463 01:18:52,316 --> 01:18:55,085 And I think I'm going to enter the longboard event myself. 1464 01:18:55,119 --> 01:18:57,454 'Cause the water is so perfect today. 1465 01:18:57,488 --> 01:19:00,424 And that wraps it up for our rubber neck surf check. 1466 01:19:00,457 --> 01:19:04,128 Pristine conditions for the 22nd annual 1467 01:19:04,161 --> 01:19:06,263 international competition. 1468 01:19:10,134 --> 01:19:14,338 Okay. Patience. Patience. 1469 01:19:14,371 --> 01:19:16,674 Come on. Come on. There you go. 1470 01:19:17,174 --> 01:19:20,010 There you go! Perfect! 1471 01:19:21,145 --> 01:19:24,481 Okay. All right. Bottom turn. 1472 01:19:24,515 --> 01:19:28,585 Smack the lip. Smack the lip hard! 1473 01:19:28,619 --> 01:19:31,689 Ba-boom! Oh. Tuck in. 1474 01:19:31,723 --> 01:19:35,259 Tuck in. Aha! There you go! 1475 01:19:37,461 --> 01:19:39,229 - Yay! - Yes! 1476 01:19:39,263 --> 01:19:40,732 You saw that? Ten! 1477 01:19:40,765 --> 01:19:44,468 I'll take a perfect ten from you, and you, 1478 01:19:44,501 --> 01:19:47,204 and you! Yes! 1479 01:19:47,237 --> 01:19:48,972 - Yes! Yes! - I tell you, 1480 01:19:49,006 --> 01:19:51,308 she might be a newcomer, but she surfs like a pro. 1481 01:19:51,341 --> 01:19:55,145 All that confidence and poise. And you know what I heard? 1482 01:19:55,179 --> 01:19:58,215 Her coach is tai Alonzo. 1483 01:19:58,248 --> 01:19:59,717 - You remember that name? - What? 1484 01:19:59,751 --> 01:20:01,652 That's one of the great surfers of Hawaii. 1485 01:20:01,686 --> 01:20:04,555 I know, I know. What ever happened to him? 1486 01:20:04,588 --> 01:20:06,256 - I thought he was dead. - Gonzo. 1487 01:20:06,290 --> 01:20:08,392 Gonzo Alonzo. 1488 01:20:08,425 --> 01:20:10,394 Hey, are you signing up for open longboard? 1489 01:20:10,427 --> 01:20:13,163 - I don't compete anymore. - Why? 1490 01:20:13,197 --> 01:20:14,732 I got kicked off the tour. 1491 01:20:14,766 --> 01:20:17,034 But I heard it was only a ten-year suspension. 1492 01:20:17,067 --> 01:20:19,069 - Yeah? - And it's been almost 20. 1493 01:20:19,102 --> 01:20:21,004 Yeah, maybe. 1494 01:20:21,038 --> 01:20:23,207 Look at you trying to get all mathematical on me. 1495 01:20:23,240 --> 01:20:26,109 - New woman, kaila Vincent. - Oh! 1496 01:20:26,143 --> 01:20:29,513 - Kaila Vincent. - What I told you, huh? 1497 01:20:30,380 --> 01:20:32,649 - Good job! - Yeah. 1498 01:20:32,684 --> 01:20:35,285 But now, it's your turn. Masters longboard. 1499 01:20:35,319 --> 01:20:37,387 I mean, since you say you're a master and all. 1500 01:20:37,421 --> 01:20:39,556 - Yeah, I'm good. - That's what you always say. 1501 01:20:39,590 --> 01:20:42,593 But I think we'd all like to actually see it. 1502 01:20:42,626 --> 01:20:44,428 Yeah, who wants to see him try? 1503 01:20:44,461 --> 01:20:46,230 Don't forget. 1504 01:20:46,263 --> 01:20:49,099 Stay right where you are, because coming up next is 1505 01:20:49,132 --> 01:20:52,336 the men's longboard surfing championship. 1506 01:20:52,369 --> 01:20:54,238 - Woo-hoo. - And I have to say, 1507 01:20:54,271 --> 01:20:55,673 back in the day, you know... 1508 01:20:55,707 --> 01:20:57,641 I heard about your longboard. 1509 01:20:57,675 --> 01:20:59,176 Oh! We got Alonzo 1510 01:20:59,209 --> 01:21:01,478 dropping into a beautiful wave. 1511 01:21:01,512 --> 01:21:04,081 Whoa. He's way more flexible than you'd think. 1512 01:21:04,114 --> 01:21:05,616 Look at that opu on that board. 1513 01:21:05,649 --> 01:21:07,685 Yeah! 1514 01:21:11,088 --> 01:21:12,724 He's got another one, folks. 1515 01:21:12,757 --> 01:21:15,760 Carving it like a Thanksgiving day Turkey. 1516 01:21:15,793 --> 01:21:18,128 Oh, yeah. 1517 01:21:23,500 --> 01:21:25,435 Woo! 1518 01:21:25,469 --> 01:21:27,271 Yep. There it is. 1519 01:21:27,304 --> 01:21:29,741 His signature dead cockroach. 1520 01:21:29,774 --> 01:21:32,576 He's gonna take that one all the way to the bank. 1521 01:21:34,679 --> 01:21:36,446 - Congratulations. - Yeah! 1522 01:21:37,548 --> 01:21:39,583 Yeah! 1523 01:21:43,120 --> 01:21:45,289 And of course, this comes with a $3,000 check 1524 01:21:45,322 --> 01:21:46,691 from conquistador. 1525 01:21:50,527 --> 01:21:52,596 - Alonzo! - Dougie. You rolling? 1526 01:21:52,629 --> 01:21:54,766 - We are live! - Roll. Roll. 1527 01:21:56,300 --> 01:21:58,635 And congratulations to you, Mr. Alonzo. 1528 01:22:00,637 --> 01:22:02,339 You don't remember me, huh? 1529 01:22:02,372 --> 01:22:03,775 Can't say that I do. 1530 01:22:03,808 --> 01:22:05,576 I always knew you was a criminal. 1531 01:22:05,609 --> 01:22:06,778 Okay. What do you want? 1532 01:22:06,811 --> 01:22:08,445 Hey, guys, see this executive 1533 01:22:08,478 --> 01:22:10,213 from conquistador club? 1534 01:22:10,247 --> 01:22:12,516 He's bribing the county inspector. 1535 01:22:12,549 --> 01:22:16,653 I said he's bribing the county inspector. 1536 01:22:16,688 --> 01:22:19,389 Get this guy off the stage. Get this guy off the stage. 1537 01:22:21,458 --> 01:22:23,327 Get him. Get him! 1538 01:22:24,628 --> 01:22:26,330 Come on! Dougie! Let's go! 1539 01:22:26,363 --> 01:22:28,332 Already got 'em. 1540 01:22:28,365 --> 01:22:30,367 - Come on! - I'm rolling. 1541 01:22:30,400 --> 01:22:32,336 - Stop him! - Come on! 1542 01:22:43,180 --> 01:22:45,616 Hey-hey, not today, honey. 1543 01:22:46,316 --> 01:22:48,518 Big brah. 1544 01:22:52,522 --> 01:22:55,592 - Doug! You got the footage? - You know I did, brah! 1545 01:22:57,394 --> 01:22:58,863 Five-o, what's going on over here? 1546 01:22:58,896 --> 01:23:00,865 Officer, I got everything on my camera. 1547 01:23:00,898 --> 01:23:02,800 I got confessions, incriminating evidence, 1548 01:23:02,834 --> 01:23:04,635 everything. You need it, I got it right here. 1549 01:23:04,669 --> 01:23:06,370 Calm down, Dougie. Calm down. 1550 01:23:06,403 --> 01:23:09,306 Hey, where you at? 1551 01:23:10,775 --> 01:23:13,644 Oh! Man. 1552 01:23:14,112 --> 01:23:15,813 Yeah, no, I can respect that. 1553 01:23:15,847 --> 01:23:17,547 I've done that many times myself. 1554 01:23:17,581 --> 01:23:20,183 Officer, see the guy swimming towards Tahiti? 1555 01:23:20,217 --> 01:23:21,819 - Yeah. - He bribed the county inspector. 1556 01:23:21,853 --> 01:23:23,553 Tried to shut down the hotel. 1557 01:23:23,587 --> 01:23:26,858 - Oh, Roger that. - According to U.S. code 20-218, 1558 01:23:26,891 --> 01:23:30,193 that's a felony. Three years prison time. 1559 01:23:30,227 --> 01:23:31,729 Oh, you really know your stuff, huh? 1560 01:23:31,763 --> 01:23:33,463 I took one year of criminal justice. 1561 01:23:33,497 --> 01:23:35,298 - I'll let you take that. - I'll do that. 1562 01:23:35,332 --> 01:23:36,834 I have business to take care of. 1563 01:23:36,868 --> 01:23:40,637 I gotta take my $500 check and go pick up my Van. 1564 01:23:41,204 --> 01:23:42,840 - Oh, thank you. - Yeah. 1565 01:23:42,874 --> 01:23:44,842 Hey, coach. This is for you. 1566 01:23:44,876 --> 01:23:46,711 So you can see your daughter. 1567 01:23:47,111 --> 01:23:49,579 - For real? - Yeah. 1568 01:23:51,949 --> 01:23:53,818 You can pay me back when we get paid. 1569 01:23:53,851 --> 01:23:54,886 For real? 1570 01:23:55,820 --> 01:23:58,355 It should be about next week, bully boy. 1571 01:24:05,697 --> 01:24:06,831 How's it, brah? 1572 01:24:08,265 --> 01:24:10,902 - Moment of truth, huh? - Yeah, cashed my check. 1573 01:24:10,935 --> 01:24:13,805 I got your $500, and the rest goes to my ex. 1574 01:24:13,838 --> 01:24:15,740 Look, man, I saw you on the news. 1575 01:24:15,773 --> 01:24:17,675 - For real? - Yeah, I thought that was 1576 01:24:17,709 --> 01:24:20,277 a cool thing that you did, man, stopping the developers 1577 01:24:20,310 --> 01:24:22,947 - on the hotel and the beach. - Yeah, but it wasn't only me. 1578 01:24:23,413 --> 01:24:25,783 Look, man, I hooked you up on the Van, man. 1579 01:24:25,817 --> 01:24:27,985 I put a new battery in it, man. Tuned it up, man. 1580 01:24:28,019 --> 01:24:29,921 And put some new tires on it for you, man. 1581 01:24:29,954 --> 01:24:31,856 - Solid, man. Thank you! - Yeah, man. 1582 01:24:31,889 --> 01:24:33,658 Runs good enough to get you home, man. 1583 01:24:34,158 --> 01:24:36,560 The bug over there, that is home. 1584 01:24:36,593 --> 01:24:38,763 And I found a new parking space. 1585 01:24:38,796 --> 01:24:40,330 - Yeah? Where's that? - At work. 1586 01:24:40,363 --> 01:24:42,499 My boss is solid. He's cool with that. 1587 01:24:42,532 --> 01:24:44,802 You'll never be late for work, man. 1588 01:24:45,435 --> 01:24:47,404 I never thought about it that way. 1589 01:24:47,437 --> 01:24:48,873 Right? Yeah, man! 1590 01:24:48,906 --> 01:24:50,875 - Here you go, brah. - All right, brotha. 1591 01:25:13,798 --> 01:25:16,500 Not bad! Four out of five stars. 1592 01:25:16,533 --> 01:25:18,568 - Woo! - From the super reviewer. 1593 01:25:18,602 --> 01:25:20,705 Super reviewer. You know this whole idea of time 1594 01:25:20,738 --> 01:25:22,707 wanting to change the name of this hotel? 1595 01:25:22,740 --> 01:25:26,443 Number one aloha surf hotel retreat and spa and yogurt shop. 1596 01:25:26,476 --> 01:25:29,346 Whatever he did is actually working. 1597 01:25:29,379 --> 01:25:31,381 You know, it is crazy, but we're showing up 1598 01:25:31,414 --> 01:25:33,626 at all the top of the searches. At the top of the searches! 1599 01:25:33,650 --> 01:25:35,361 - How does he even know that? - He went to school. 1600 01:25:35,385 --> 01:25:37,354 Went to college. And whatever it is, 1601 01:25:37,387 --> 01:25:39,456 he's pulling us out of this nosedive. 1602 01:25:39,489 --> 01:25:40,590 Woo-hoo! 1603 01:25:41,591 --> 01:25:43,426 - Checking out? - Yes. 1604 01:25:43,460 --> 01:25:45,529 But we also look for tennis pro. 1605 01:25:45,562 --> 01:25:47,965 Oh, sorry, he's gone for the day. 1606 01:25:47,999 --> 01:25:50,333 - Oh. - This is for pro. 1607 01:25:56,774 --> 01:26:00,443 Eight hundred eighty-eight dollar. Very lucky number. 1608 01:26:00,477 --> 01:26:02,579 - Lucky number. - What? 1609 01:26:02,612 --> 01:26:05,783 Yeah, the pro, he throw my phone in ocean. 1610 01:26:05,817 --> 01:26:07,317 It was best gift for us. 1611 01:26:08,052 --> 01:26:09,987 We know each other now. 1612 01:26:10,021 --> 01:26:11,588 Really know. 1613 01:26:11,621 --> 01:26:13,791 Only pictures in our head. 1614 01:26:14,192 --> 01:26:15,793 Romantic-y pictures. 1615 01:26:16,227 --> 01:26:18,461 We're really happy to hear that. 1616 01:26:18,495 --> 01:26:22,432 And we will tell all China about this place. 1617 01:26:22,465 --> 01:26:24,367 And the funny little tennis man. 1618 01:26:24,401 --> 01:26:27,337 He teach us the way to true love. 1619 01:26:27,972 --> 01:26:29,406 No selfies. 1620 01:26:29,974 --> 01:26:32,009 - Thank you. - Thank you. 1621 01:26:34,111 --> 01:26:37,414 - Aloha. - Mahalo. 1622 01:26:37,447 --> 01:26:38,916 You better give that to tai. 1623 01:26:43,154 --> 01:26:44,822 You okay, brah? 1624 01:26:45,488 --> 01:26:49,093 You know, being like that for 17 days and nights... 1625 01:26:49,126 --> 01:26:50,862 It was like six hours. 1626 01:26:50,895 --> 01:26:54,131 Having my voice robbed of me for the first time... 1627 01:26:54,999 --> 01:26:56,868 Gave me some time to think. 1628 01:26:56,901 --> 01:26:59,170 - That's a good thing, right? - I don't know. 1629 01:26:59,203 --> 01:27:02,740 I've been thinking I should probably go back to New Jersey. 1630 01:27:03,841 --> 01:27:05,142 Maybe not a bad idea. 1631 01:27:06,744 --> 01:27:08,679 You might ask yourself, 1632 01:27:08,713 --> 01:27:13,483 but what about the thousands of students that need me here? 1633 01:27:13,516 --> 01:27:16,754 Who love me and, like, adore me. 1634 01:27:16,787 --> 01:27:18,789 Might ask, but didn't. 1635 01:27:19,257 --> 01:27:23,460 You know, I realized that they don't really love me. 1636 01:27:24,262 --> 01:27:27,098 They just love the myth of the person 1637 01:27:27,131 --> 01:27:29,532 I'm telling them that they can be. 1638 01:27:29,934 --> 01:27:31,068 It's narcissism. 1639 01:27:31,102 --> 01:27:33,004 Oh, you're getting deep, huh? 1640 01:27:33,037 --> 01:27:35,405 It's Maya. It's an illusion. 1641 01:27:35,840 --> 01:27:36,974 Because... 1642 01:27:38,209 --> 01:27:40,945 Because I've just been really regurgitating meanless words 1643 01:27:40,978 --> 01:27:45,016 that I learned in a creepy ashram in karnataka. 1644 01:27:45,049 --> 01:27:48,585 You're right. We're in Hawaii nei. 1645 01:27:48,618 --> 01:27:51,789 We should be out there riding the waves. 1646 01:27:51,822 --> 01:27:54,491 If you like, I can show you tomorrow. 1647 01:27:55,226 --> 01:27:58,561 - Tomorrow I fly. - What you gonna do? 1648 01:27:58,595 --> 01:28:01,165 I've been taking online real estate courses. 1649 01:28:03,668 --> 01:28:06,469 Oh. You got my blessings. 1650 01:28:07,238 --> 01:28:08,940 Hey, man, don't mock me, okay? 1651 01:28:12,609 --> 01:28:16,147 Hey, what's your real name? 1652 01:28:16,981 --> 01:28:20,583 - Can you tell me your name? - No, I can't do that, man. No. 1653 01:28:20,985 --> 01:28:22,652 - How about Joe? - No. 1654 01:28:22,687 --> 01:28:24,822 How about bill? Milton? 1655 01:28:24,855 --> 01:28:26,090 - No. - Tommy? 1656 01:28:26,123 --> 01:28:27,490 - No. - Mitchell? 1657 01:28:27,524 --> 01:28:28,826 - No. - Logan? 1658 01:28:28,859 --> 01:28:29,961 Not even close. 1659 01:28:29,994 --> 01:28:31,996 Hey, you know what? Um... 1660 01:28:33,130 --> 01:28:35,066 I got something for you, okay? 1661 01:28:36,934 --> 01:28:38,535 Here, this is yours now. 1662 01:28:38,936 --> 01:28:41,072 Oh, I got something for you too, brah. 1663 01:28:41,105 --> 01:28:42,907 Here. Yours. 1664 01:28:43,374 --> 01:28:44,875 Keep it fresh, bro. 1665 01:28:46,911 --> 01:28:48,079 Hey, thanks, brah. 1666 01:28:48,913 --> 01:28:50,613 Hey, shaka, okay? 1667 01:28:58,723 --> 01:28:59,957 Dad! 1668 01:29:01,225 --> 01:29:03,060 - Dad? - Alana! 1669 01:29:03,094 --> 01:29:06,063 What you doin' here? Is this your weekend? 1670 01:29:06,097 --> 01:29:08,631 No, but you gotta get dressed and cleaned up. 1671 01:29:11,068 --> 01:29:13,804 Surprise. I made this for you. 1672 01:29:15,306 --> 01:29:16,539 Happy early birthday. 1673 01:29:16,974 --> 01:29:18,309 Whoa. 1674 01:29:18,342 --> 01:29:21,712 Dad, it's, it's really beautiful. 1675 01:29:21,746 --> 01:29:23,714 - Thank you. - You're welcome. 1676 01:29:25,883 --> 01:29:28,152 Okay, but we gotta go, and you need to get dressed. 1677 01:29:28,185 --> 01:29:30,721 - I am dressed. - At least change your shirt. 1678 01:29:30,755 --> 01:29:32,857 - Why? - You passed! 1679 01:29:32,890 --> 01:29:35,059 - I passed? - Yes. Let's go. 1680 01:29:35,092 --> 01:29:37,594 Completing just that one math credit 1681 01:29:37,627 --> 01:29:41,265 actually vaulted him into our college history book. 1682 01:29:42,867 --> 01:29:44,802 Yeah, dad! Woo! 1683 01:29:46,771 --> 01:29:48,973 Because that one final math credit 1684 01:29:49,407 --> 01:29:51,976 means he's actually completed degrees in the following... 1685 01:29:52,009 --> 01:29:53,844 And I'll list them alphabetically. 1686 01:29:53,878 --> 01:29:56,579 Alphabetization optimization, 1687 01:29:56,947 --> 01:30:00,217 astronomy, auctioneering, biohazard removal, 1688 01:30:00,718 --> 01:30:04,121 bagpiping, baking, cannabis studies, 1689 01:30:04,155 --> 01:30:07,091 couples therapy, criminal justice, 1690 01:30:07,124 --> 01:30:10,094 fermentation sciences, midwifery, 1691 01:30:10,127 --> 01:30:12,863 paralegal studies, paranormal studies, 1692 01:30:12,897 --> 01:30:16,200 plumbing, puppetry, solar installation, 1693 01:30:16,233 --> 01:30:18,903 and turtle husbandry. 1694 01:30:21,405 --> 01:30:23,741 So why don't you come on up and get your degree, 1695 01:30:23,774 --> 01:30:26,643 Mr. Tai Gonzo Alonzo! 1696 01:30:28,746 --> 01:30:30,613 Yeah! 1697 01:30:30,647 --> 01:30:34,584 What a unbelievable time. I feel official. 1698 01:30:35,052 --> 01:30:37,822 Hold on, sistah. You forgot one thing. 1699 01:30:37,855 --> 01:30:40,057 Philosophy of surf! 1700 01:30:44,261 --> 01:30:47,098 My apologies. It is also, indeed, on the list. 1701 01:30:54,839 --> 01:30:56,774 - Proud of you. - Thank you. 1702 01:30:57,141 --> 01:30:58,608 All right! Yeah! 1703 01:30:59,310 --> 01:31:01,912 So I say this to all the kids out there: 1704 01:31:02,947 --> 01:31:04,715 It pays to stay in school! 1705 01:31:40,951 --> 01:31:43,721 Ya-hoo! How's the young bums? 1706 01:31:44,188 --> 01:31:45,389 Woo! 1707 01:31:45,422 --> 01:31:47,158 You know, tai, 1708 01:31:47,191 --> 01:31:49,193 we should try kiting one of these days. 1709 01:31:49,226 --> 01:31:52,296 Brah, there's nothing more sad than a surfer that used to surf. 1710 01:31:52,329 --> 01:31:54,031 Who said that one, dad? 1711 01:31:54,798 --> 01:31:56,967 I don't know. But I think I will claim 'em. 1712 01:31:59,003 --> 01:32:00,905 - Hey! - Get out of here. 1713 01:32:04,175 --> 01:32:06,977 ♪ Watchin' people pass me by ♪ 1714 01:32:07,011 --> 01:32:09,880 ♪ anything to pass the time ♪ 1715 01:32:09,914 --> 01:32:12,483 ♪ weird to think we're all the same ♪ 1716 01:32:12,516 --> 01:32:16,153 ♪ but completely different ain't it strange, uh-huh ♪ 1717 01:32:16,654 --> 01:32:20,891 ♪ oh, I see this world surrounding me ♪ 1718 01:32:20,925 --> 01:32:23,727 No doubt. Look, I hate it, okay? 1719 01:32:23,761 --> 01:32:25,729 What's the point? They just check their phones. 1720 01:32:25,763 --> 01:32:28,265 What? Yep. Huh? Tai! 1721 01:32:28,299 --> 01:32:30,768 - You suck as a weatherman. - Hold on a second. 1722 01:32:30,801 --> 01:32:32,369 I don't suck that bad. 1723 01:32:35,039 --> 01:32:36,473 I forgot my line. 1724 01:32:36,507 --> 01:32:39,076 - Keep doing it. - Oh. 1725 01:32:39,109 --> 01:32:41,212 So what are you gonna do about it, dad? 1726 01:32:43,080 --> 01:32:45,216 Watch. 1727 01:32:45,249 --> 01:32:47,284 Okay. Cut, good. 1728 01:32:48,219 --> 01:32:49,753 Psst. Brah. 1729 01:32:51,222 --> 01:32:53,190 Cut! Can you hear that? 1730 01:32:53,224 --> 01:32:54,758 Huh? 1731 01:32:54,792 --> 01:32:56,227 You do it already? 1732 01:32:56,594 --> 01:32:59,196 Elvis Presley put his okole right here, brah. 1733 01:32:59,230 --> 01:33:00,864 And went. 1734 01:33:00,898 --> 01:33:02,866 Portuguese bean soup all over the place. 1735 01:33:02,900 --> 01:33:06,003 What's wrong with you? Hey! 1736 01:33:06,036 --> 01:33:09,807 Indeed. Yoga is for the meek and the cripple. 1737 01:33:09,840 --> 01:33:14,178 Anyways... listen! 1738 01:33:33,430 --> 01:33:36,300 I'm holding a fart so bad, you guys don't even know. 1739 01:33:36,333 --> 01:33:39,303 I'm so used to it, I wouldn't even know. 1740 01:33:39,336 --> 01:33:44,074 Do the thing you feel the most, and then you suddenly die. 1741 01:33:49,947 --> 01:33:52,516 - That's what I said. - No, you said go on one. 1742 01:33:52,983 --> 01:33:55,452 - Three. - No smiling, Cyrus. 1743 01:34:06,630 --> 01:34:08,232 - Oh. - Cut. 1744 01:34:08,265 --> 01:34:09,800 Hilarious. 1745 01:34:10,334 --> 01:34:12,936 That's all right. It's your Van seat. It's not mine. 1746 01:34:12,970 --> 01:34:15,272 - So get it on camera. - How's it? 1747 01:34:15,306 --> 01:34:17,574 - Moment of truth, huh? - Yeah, look, hey. 1748 01:34:17,608 --> 01:34:20,411 I cashed my check. I got your $500. 1749 01:34:20,444 --> 01:34:22,946 And I think... 1750 01:34:23,947 --> 01:34:25,316 Sorry. 1751 01:34:25,883 --> 01:34:28,452 - Keep rolling. - The pig's still going there. 1752 01:34:29,019 --> 01:34:32,022 ♪ One more day, oh, oh, oh ♪ 1753 01:34:32,056 --> 01:34:34,858 ♪ one more day, oh, oh, oh, oh 1754 01:34:34,892 --> 01:34:36,994 ♪ just one more day ♪ 124934