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CHORUS:
♪ The Simpsons ♪
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(bell ringing)
3
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(playing the blues)
4
00:00:37,829 --> 00:00:43,585
(playing out of tune)
5
00:00:59,017 --> 00:00:59,976
(honking horn)
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D'oh!
7
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(screams)
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MARGE: (humming)
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ANNOUNCER:
The start of television's
10
00:01:25,168 --> 00:01:29,589
Mid-season, is just 200 excitingseconds away.
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{\an8}-Door?
-Locked.
12
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{\an8}-Phone?
-Unplugged.
13
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{\an8}Dog? Cat?
14
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{\an8}-Taped and corked.
-Perfect.
15
00:01:36,304 --> 00:01:39,140
{\an8}ANNOUNCER: It's
America's funniest tornadoes.
16
00:01:40,141 --> 00:01:41,726
{\an8}(Bart and Homer laughing)
17
00:01:41,810 --> 00:01:45,522
{\an8}ANNOUNCER: And at 09:30,
All in the family 1999.
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{\an8}Oh, geez, there they got me
living with an African American.
19
00:01:49,692 --> 00:01:52,445
{\an8}A Semite American
and a woman American, there.
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00:01:52,529 --> 00:01:54,864
{\an8}And I'm glad, I love yous all.
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{\an8}I love everybody.
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{\an8}I wish I'd saved my money
from the first show.
23
00:01:58,785 --> 00:02:00,370
{\an8}Oh, I can't wait.
24
00:02:00,453 --> 00:02:02,330
{\an8}Look, Marge,
I had a scorecard printed up
25
00:02:02,413 --> 00:02:04,374
{\an8}at that all-night scorecard place.
26
00:02:04,457 --> 00:02:06,417
{\an8}Isn't mid-season
just a dumping ground
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00:02:06,501 --> 00:02:08,002
{\an8}for second-rate shows
that weren't good enough
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{\an8}for the fall schedule?
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{\an8}You're thinking
of all the other years.
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{\an8}This year's shows are classics.
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{\an8}There's The Laughter Family,
that's animated.
32
00:02:16,219 --> 00:02:17,679
{\an8}Networks like animation
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00:02:17,762 --> 00:02:19,597
{\an8}'cause they don't have to pay
the actors squat.
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{\an8}(imitation Ned)
Plus, they can replace them
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00:02:21,099 --> 00:02:22,642
{\an8}and no one can tell
the diddley-ifference.
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{\an8}ANNOUNCER: And now, mid-seasonkicks off with Admiral Baby.
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{\an8}Yee-hee-hee!
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{\an8}We're taking the entire
sixth fleet to Candy Island?
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{\an8}Those are the Admiral's orders.
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{\an8}(gurgles)
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{\an8}(loud canned laughter)
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{\an8}(groans)
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{\an8}It's hard to believe
someone that young
44
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{\an8}could have risen
to the rank of Admiral.
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00:02:43,413 --> 00:02:48,293
{\an8}Gee, I never thought
I'd say this about a TV show.
46
00:02:48,376 --> 00:02:50,461
{\an8}But this is kind of stupid.
47
00:02:51,296 --> 00:02:54,048
{\an8}Hey, Police Cops.
48
00:02:54,132 --> 00:02:56,342
{\an8}That sounds like
a lethal combination.
49
00:03:00,513 --> 00:03:02,098
{\an8}Let's get this bank
back to our hideout
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00:03:02,182 --> 00:03:03,141
{\an8}and we'll break into it later.
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{\an8}It's the cops.
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{\an8}Worse. The police cops.
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00:03:10,398 --> 00:03:11,691
(yells)
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00:03:14,277 --> 00:03:15,445
(grunting)
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00:03:17,113 --> 00:03:18,865
(screams)
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00:03:18,948 --> 00:03:21,576
-This isn't bad.
-"Isn't bad"?
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00:03:21,659 --> 00:03:24,245
Tell me one thing mankind's
ever done that's any better.
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00:03:24,329 --> 00:03:25,288
The renaissance.
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00:03:25,371 --> 00:03:26,581
This is better.
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00:03:27,540 --> 00:03:28,374
Let's book 'em and roll.
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00:03:28,458 --> 00:03:30,793
And that's the end
of that chapter.
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00:03:32,045 --> 00:03:33,963
You men saved my bank.
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00:03:34,047 --> 00:03:37,050
I'd like to donate $40
to charity in your honor.
64
00:03:37,800 --> 00:03:39,886
But I don't know your names.
65
00:03:39,969 --> 00:03:40,887
Lance Coffman.
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00:03:40,970 --> 00:03:43,848
Simpson,
detective Homer Simpson.
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00:03:43,932 --> 00:03:46,392
(gasping)
68
00:03:46,476 --> 00:03:49,145
He's named like my name!
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GIRLS: (giggling)
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(chuckles)
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00:03:52,649 --> 00:03:53,733
I don't get it, Homer.
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00:03:54,275 --> 00:03:55,235
You're a millionaire
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00:03:55,318 --> 00:03:57,111
and you've got all
the babes you want.
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00:03:57,195 --> 00:03:59,239
Why aren't you living it up
in your palace in Europe?
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00:03:59,322 --> 00:04:02,951
Well, let's just say I hate crime.
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00:04:03,034 --> 00:04:04,160
(groans)
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(grunts)
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00:04:08,039 --> 00:04:09,540
Arrest that guy.
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00:04:09,624 --> 00:04:11,918
And that's the end of that chapter.
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00:04:15,713 --> 00:04:19,676
Wow, they've captured
my personality perfectly.
81
00:04:19,759 --> 00:04:21,761
Did you see the way
daddy caught that bullet?
82
00:04:21,844 --> 00:04:23,054
That's not really you, dad.
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00:04:23,137 --> 00:04:24,472
He's just a fictional character
84
00:04:24,555 --> 00:04:26,599
who happens to have
the same name.
85
00:04:27,850 --> 00:04:29,269
Don't confuse daddy, Lisa.
86
00:04:29,352 --> 00:04:31,229
Homer, it's just a coincidence.
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00:04:31,312 --> 00:04:33,231
Like that guy named
Anthony Michael Hall
88
00:04:33,314 --> 00:04:35,149
who stole your car stereo.
89
00:04:35,233 --> 00:04:36,776
Right. Coincidence.
90
00:04:36,859 --> 00:04:38,319
(telephone rings)
91
00:04:40,822 --> 00:04:42,699
Another person wants
to congratulate you
92
00:04:42,782 --> 00:04:44,367
for having a famous name.
93
00:04:44,701 --> 00:04:45,827
Hello.
94
00:04:45,910 --> 00:04:48,705
Yes, this is
the original Homer Simpson.
95
00:04:48,788 --> 00:04:49,872
Who's this?
96
00:04:50,665 --> 00:04:52,125
The Debbie Pinson
97
00:04:52,208 --> 00:04:54,168
who was the homecoming queen
in high school?
98
00:04:54,877 --> 00:04:56,629
Yes, I'm still available.
99
00:04:56,713 --> 00:04:58,715
No, he's not.
100
00:04:58,798 --> 00:05:01,634
Marge, that was Debbie Pinson!
101
00:05:01,718 --> 00:05:04,137
Debbie Pinson!
102
00:05:04,220 --> 00:05:05,513
No dating.
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00:05:05,596 --> 00:05:06,639
Ohhh!
104
00:05:08,308 --> 00:05:10,143
Hey, Homer, Homer, check it out.
105
00:05:10,226 --> 00:05:11,394
Bottom of page 12.
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"Local man has same name.
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00:05:13,896 --> 00:05:15,148
A TV character has
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00:05:15,231 --> 00:05:18,985
the same name as Springfield
resident Homer Simpson."
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00:05:19,068 --> 00:05:20,278
Hey, you're famous.
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00:05:20,361 --> 00:05:23,489
"And that's the end
of that chapter."
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00:05:23,573 --> 00:05:24,824
(all exclaim)
112
00:05:24,907 --> 00:05:27,827
Mr. Simpson, sir,
can I get your autograph?
113
00:05:27,910 --> 00:05:29,579
All right. What's the name?
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00:05:29,662 --> 00:05:31,706
Homer, we've worked together
for ten years.
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00:05:32,749 --> 00:05:33,583
It's "Carl."
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00:05:36,210 --> 00:05:37,587
You only wrote my name.
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00:05:37,670 --> 00:05:38,921
Um, I wanted yours.
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00:05:39,005 --> 00:05:41,466
Take it or leave it... Carl.
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00:05:43,509 --> 00:05:45,053
So, uh, what kind of adventure
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00:05:45,136 --> 00:05:47,221
you going to be involved
in tonight, Homer?
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00:05:47,305 --> 00:05:48,306
Mm, who knows?
122
00:05:48,389 --> 00:05:50,350
Maybe I'll have to foil
an assassination
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00:05:50,433 --> 00:05:52,226
or stop a peace conference.
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00:05:52,310 --> 00:05:53,227
So they really based that
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00:05:53,311 --> 00:05:55,188
Homer Simpson character on you,
huh?
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00:05:55,271 --> 00:05:57,357
Yep, right down to the scarf.
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00:05:58,941 --> 00:06:00,526
-(crowd gasping)
-MOE: Ooh, there it is.
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00:06:04,655 --> 00:06:05,865
Nice beating, Lance.
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00:06:05,948 --> 00:06:07,867
Especially around the eyes.
It...
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00:06:07,950 --> 00:06:10,870
Say, where's your partner?
Where's Homer Simpson?
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00:06:10,953 --> 00:06:12,205
HOMER SIMPSON: Coming, Chief!
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Whoa! Whoa!
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00:06:14,415 --> 00:06:16,209
Now what have you done, Simpson?
134
00:06:16,292 --> 00:06:20,296
I was supervising
the "Guns for Toys" program.
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00:06:20,380 --> 00:06:22,423
It's "Toys for Guns".
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00:06:22,507 --> 00:06:24,550
Now you tell me.
137
00:06:24,634 --> 00:06:27,678
Oh, Simpson!
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00:06:27,762 --> 00:06:30,890
(all laughing)
139
00:06:30,973 --> 00:06:32,475
Hey, what's going on?
140
00:06:32,558 --> 00:06:34,143
That guy's not Homer Simpson.
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00:06:34,227 --> 00:06:35,561
He's fat and stupid.
142
00:06:35,645 --> 00:06:37,647
Hey, it looks like they
changed the character
143
00:06:37,730 --> 00:06:39,524
into a bumbling sidekick.
144
00:06:39,607 --> 00:06:41,067
No. No, he can't be.
145
00:06:41,150 --> 00:06:43,111
I know,
maybe he's just acting stupid
146
00:06:43,194 --> 00:06:45,571
to infiltrate a gang
of international idiots.
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00:06:45,655 --> 00:06:48,074
Yeah, that's got to be it.
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00:06:48,157 --> 00:06:50,535
You destroyed that drug shipment?
149
00:06:50,618 --> 00:06:52,537
Yes, indeed-y.
150
00:06:52,620 --> 00:06:54,038
That was my insulin.
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00:06:54,122 --> 00:06:56,707
Uh-oh, spaghettio's!
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00:06:58,251 --> 00:06:59,877
CHIEF: Simpson!
153
00:07:00,670 --> 00:07:03,923
Hey, Homer,
that character's you all over.
154
00:07:04,006 --> 00:07:06,926
Come on, Homer, act all stupid
like you do on TV.
155
00:07:07,009 --> 00:07:08,094
Yeah, come on, dum-dum,
156
00:07:08,177 --> 00:07:09,554
do something unintelligent there.
157
00:07:09,637 --> 00:07:10,471
(all laughing)
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00:07:10,555 --> 00:07:12,765
Shut up! I'm not your clown!
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00:07:12,849 --> 00:07:14,225
Don't diminish me!
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00:07:15,601 --> 00:07:18,438
Gentlemen, I bid you fare--
(groans)
161
00:07:18,521 --> 00:07:22,024
(all laughing)
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00:07:22,108 --> 00:07:23,609
(groaning)
163
00:07:23,693 --> 00:07:25,486
-(yells)
-(car screeches and crashes)
164
00:07:25,570 --> 00:07:27,989
HOMER: Ow!
(groans)
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00:07:28,573 --> 00:07:30,950
Geez, what an exit.
166
00:07:31,033 --> 00:07:33,953
Oh, man, what's he going
to do for an encore?
167
00:07:34,370 --> 00:07:35,496
Woo...
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00:07:35,580 --> 00:07:38,291
I don't think he'll be doing
no encores for a while.
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00:07:38,374 --> 00:07:39,500
(laughs)
170
00:07:43,087 --> 00:07:45,631
I can't understand what happened.
171
00:07:45,715 --> 00:07:47,467
Why did they change
Homer Simpson's character
172
00:07:47,550 --> 00:07:49,594
from cool to stupid?
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00:07:49,677 --> 00:07:51,804
The first episode
was just a pilot, dad.
174
00:07:51,888 --> 00:07:53,347
Producers fiddle with shows
all the time.
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00:07:53,431 --> 00:07:55,099
They change characters,
drop others
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00:07:55,183 --> 00:07:57,685
and push some
into the background.
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00:07:57,768 --> 00:08:02,356
Your character provides
the comic relief, like, oh...
178
00:08:02,440 --> 00:08:04,609
Marlon Brando in Apocalypse Now.
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00:08:04,692 --> 00:08:07,278
Wish I hadn't bought
a hundred of these.
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00:08:09,572 --> 00:08:12,074
LENNY (whispering):
Get ready, everybody.
181
00:08:12,158 --> 00:08:15,453
He's about to do something stupid.
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00:08:15,536 --> 00:08:17,246
Well, I'm sorry
to disappoint you, gentlemen
183
00:08:17,330 --> 00:08:19,457
but you seem to have me
confused with a character
184
00:08:19,540 --> 00:08:21,125
in a fictional show.
185
00:08:21,209 --> 00:08:23,711
Now, if you'll excuse me
my fondue is just about...
186
00:08:23,794 --> 00:08:25,922
D'oh!
187
00:08:26,005 --> 00:08:27,715
(laughing)
188
00:08:27,798 --> 00:08:29,133
LENNY: There goes Albany.
189
00:08:29,217 --> 00:08:31,093
Uh-oh, spaghettio's!
190
00:08:33,012 --> 00:08:34,138
Oh, man.
191
00:08:34,222 --> 00:08:36,265
(horn honking)
192
00:08:36,349 --> 00:08:38,142
OTTO: Whoa,
it's that Homer Simpson dude.
193
00:08:38,226 --> 00:08:39,352
Ha-ha!
194
00:08:39,435 --> 00:08:41,270
People are laughing at me, Marge.
195
00:08:41,354 --> 00:08:44,065
Let's get out of here.
Forget the baby's medicine.
196
00:08:44,148 --> 00:08:45,900
But her forehead's on fire.
197
00:08:45,983 --> 00:08:47,485
Fine. I'll be in the car...
198
00:08:47,818 --> 00:08:49,070
driving home.
199
00:08:49,153 --> 00:08:52,490
Well, if it isn't
that stupid cop from TV.
200
00:08:53,533 --> 00:08:55,910
Ah, yeah, that got it.
201
00:08:55,993 --> 00:08:57,328
That's Homer Simpson.
202
00:08:57,411 --> 00:08:59,497
(all clamoring)
203
00:08:59,580 --> 00:09:00,831
WOMAN: Let's crowd him.
204
00:09:00,915 --> 00:09:02,792
Your catchphrase is hysterical.
205
00:09:02,875 --> 00:09:05,503
Please say it clearly
for my answering machine tape.
206
00:09:05,586 --> 00:09:08,339
(weakly)
Uh-oh, spaghettio's.
207
00:09:08,422 --> 00:09:10,132
Worst reading ever.
208
00:09:10,216 --> 00:09:11,050
How about an autograph?
209
00:09:11,133 --> 00:09:12,885
-Picture, mister?
-Can I have your shoes?
210
00:09:12,969 --> 00:09:15,304
Come on, people. Enough is enough!
211
00:09:15,388 --> 00:09:18,391
Oh, it's never enough
not for them.
212
00:09:18,474 --> 00:09:19,600
Once they get a taste of you
213
00:09:19,684 --> 00:09:22,019
they want more and more and more!
214
00:09:22,103 --> 00:09:23,104
That reminds me.
215
00:09:23,187 --> 00:09:24,564
Do you mind if my nephew
kicks you in the belly?
216
00:09:24,647 --> 00:09:25,982
Okay.
217
00:09:27,316 --> 00:09:28,609
(groans)
218
00:09:28,693 --> 00:09:30,861
Oh, the flash didn't go off!
219
00:09:30,945 --> 00:09:33,155
You got another one in you, Josh?
220
00:09:38,953 --> 00:09:41,038
The whole town's laughing at me.
221
00:09:41,122 --> 00:09:42,540
Even that cat out there.
222
00:09:42,623 --> 00:09:44,083
Bart, kill that cat.
223
00:09:44,166 --> 00:09:45,084
BART: Okay.
224
00:09:45,167 --> 00:09:46,627
And that big yellow flower.
225
00:09:46,711 --> 00:09:50,840
Homer, your growing insanity
is starting to worry me.
226
00:09:50,923 --> 00:09:53,884
Why don't you talk
to the producers of the show?
227
00:09:53,968 --> 00:09:56,470
Maybe they'll make
your character suave again.
228
00:09:56,554 --> 00:09:59,724
Hmm... I guess I could.
229
00:09:59,807 --> 00:10:01,267
But while I'm gone
230
00:10:01,350 --> 00:10:04,979
keep an eye on that weird
looking kid down there.
231
00:10:05,062 --> 00:10:07,815
-Bart?
-Yeah, "Bart."
232
00:10:14,780 --> 00:10:17,116
Uh, so I just want to know
how come
233
00:10:17,199 --> 00:10:19,243
you made your Homer Simpson
character so--?
234
00:10:19,327 --> 00:10:20,828
Stupid?
235
00:10:20,911 --> 00:10:22,705
Well, I can assure you
it happened organically.
236
00:10:22,788 --> 00:10:24,081
It better have.
237
00:10:24,165 --> 00:10:26,876
The 13 of us began
with a singular vision...
238
00:10:26,959 --> 00:10:28,336
"Titanic meets Frasier."
239
00:10:28,419 --> 00:10:29,295
But then we found out that ABC
240
00:10:29,378 --> 00:10:31,130
had a similar project in development
241
00:10:31,213 --> 00:10:32,840
with Annie Potts and Jeremy Piven.
242
00:10:32,923 --> 00:10:35,176
-Who's Jeremy Piven?
-We don't know.
243
00:10:35,259 --> 00:10:36,552
But it scared the hell out of us.
244
00:10:36,636 --> 00:10:38,929
So we slapped together
a cop show instead.
245
00:10:39,013 --> 00:10:40,681
-Police Cops.
-No.
246
00:10:40,765 --> 00:10:43,100
Actually It was called
Badge Patrol.
247
00:10:43,184 --> 00:10:44,894
But the network idiots
didn't want a show
248
00:10:44,977 --> 00:10:47,438
about high-tech badges
that shoot laser beams.
249
00:10:47,521 --> 00:10:50,775
So we asked ourselves
"who's behind the badge?"
250
00:10:50,858 --> 00:10:52,693
-Police...
-Cops...
251
00:10:52,777 --> 00:10:54,070
Police Cops.
252
00:10:54,153 --> 00:10:55,780
Yeah, but why does
the Homer Simpson character
253
00:10:55,863 --> 00:10:57,740
have to be so stupid?
254
00:10:57,823 --> 00:10:59,158
Oh, he's not stupid.
255
00:10:59,241 --> 00:11:00,993
He's a street-smart
fish out of water
256
00:11:01,077 --> 00:11:02,703
in a world he never made.
257
00:11:02,787 --> 00:11:05,122
I'm begging you. I'm a human being.
258
00:11:05,206 --> 00:11:07,416
Let me have my dignity back.
259
00:11:07,500 --> 00:11:09,001
ALL: Mm-hmm.
260
00:11:10,044 --> 00:11:10,878
D'oh!
261
00:11:12,254 --> 00:11:14,507
Let me down, Chief.I'm begging you!
262
00:11:14,590 --> 00:11:19,929
I'm a human being.Let me have my dignity back.
263
00:11:20,012 --> 00:11:21,430
Yow!
264
00:11:21,514 --> 00:11:23,099
Now he's stupid and whiny.
265
00:11:23,182 --> 00:11:24,183
That does it.
266
00:11:24,266 --> 00:11:25,685
There's only one thing I can do.
267
00:11:27,603 --> 00:11:29,271
Your honor, I'd like to sue
268
00:11:29,355 --> 00:11:31,023
the producers of Police Cops
269
00:11:31,107 --> 00:11:34,193
for $20 million for improper use
of my name.
270
00:11:34,276 --> 00:11:36,487
Court finds in favor
of Police Cops.
271
00:11:36,570 --> 00:11:37,613
Next case.
272
00:11:37,697 --> 00:11:40,366
(mumbling)
273
00:11:40,449 --> 00:11:42,576
Then I'd like
to legally change my name.
274
00:11:42,660 --> 00:11:43,911
What name would you prefer?
275
00:11:43,994 --> 00:11:45,287
Any of these will be fine.
276
00:11:45,371 --> 00:11:50,835
Hmm, "Hercules Rockefeller.
Rembrandt Q. Einstein.
277
00:11:50,918 --> 00:11:53,379
Handsome B. Wonderful"?
278
00:11:53,462 --> 00:11:54,714
I'm going to give you the only name
279
00:11:54,797 --> 00:11:56,132
you spelled correctly.
280
00:11:56,215 --> 00:11:58,384
From this day forward,
your name shall be...
281
00:11:58,467 --> 00:12:00,219
"Max Power"?
282
00:12:00,302 --> 00:12:02,054
Dynamic, isn't it?
283
00:12:02,138 --> 00:12:03,222
I love it, Max.
284
00:12:03,305 --> 00:12:06,142
You changed your name
without consulting me?
285
00:12:06,225 --> 00:12:08,227
That's the way
Max Power is, Marge.
286
00:12:08,310 --> 00:12:12,189
Decisive, uncompromising and rude.
287
00:12:12,273 --> 00:12:13,983
Oh, wait a minute.
288
00:12:14,066 --> 00:12:17,236
The family name is
my legacy to you.
289
00:12:17,319 --> 00:12:21,240
I got it from my father,
and he got it from his father
290
00:12:21,323 --> 00:12:23,868
and he traded a mule for it.
291
00:12:23,951 --> 00:12:27,663
And that mule went on
to save spring break.
292
00:12:28,748 --> 00:12:30,666
But this will be so confusing.
293
00:12:30,750 --> 00:12:32,877
The mailman
won't know what to do.
294
00:12:32,960 --> 00:12:35,713
Did you think of the mailman
at all before you did this?
295
00:12:35,796 --> 00:12:36,839
Yes, briefly.
296
00:12:36,922 --> 00:12:39,717
And what about the tattoo
on my you-know-what?
297
00:12:39,800 --> 00:12:43,471
Oh, honey, they have acids
that can burn that off.
298
00:12:43,554 --> 00:12:47,099
But I fell in love
with Homer Simpson.
299
00:12:47,183 --> 00:12:49,935
I don't want to snuggle
with Max Power.
300
00:12:50,019 --> 00:12:51,729
Nobody snuggles with Max Power.
301
00:12:51,812 --> 00:12:54,607
You strap yourself in
and feel the Gs!
302
00:12:54,690 --> 00:12:55,858
Oh, Lord.
303
00:12:55,941 --> 00:12:57,818
And it doesn't stop
in the bedroom. Oh, no.
304
00:12:57,902 --> 00:12:59,278
I'm taking charge.
305
00:12:59,361 --> 00:13:01,947
Kids, there's three
ways to do things...
306
00:13:02,031 --> 00:13:03,449
The right way, the wrong way
307
00:13:03,532 --> 00:13:05,284
and the Max Power way.
308
00:13:05,367 --> 00:13:06,452
Isn't that the wrong way?
309
00:13:06,535 --> 00:13:08,412
Yeah, but faster.
310
00:13:09,163 --> 00:13:10,080
D'oh!
311
00:13:10,164 --> 00:13:11,874
We should really put that
in the corner.
312
00:13:15,503 --> 00:13:18,047
(Gold Finger melody)
♪ Max Power ♪
313
00:13:18,130 --> 00:13:20,549
♪ He's the man whose name ♪
314
00:13:20,633 --> 00:13:23,385
♪ You'd love to touch ♪
315
00:13:23,469 --> 00:13:27,348
♪ But you mustn't touch ♪
316
00:13:27,431 --> 00:13:31,310
♪ His name sounds goodin your ear ♪
317
00:13:31,393 --> 00:13:35,314
♪ But when you say ityou mustn't fear ♪
318
00:13:35,397 --> 00:13:39,193
♪ 'Cause his name can be said ♪
319
00:13:39,276 --> 00:13:41,111
♪ By anyone... ♪
320
00:13:41,195 --> 00:13:44,240
Ah! Max Power.
How's every little thing?
321
00:13:44,323 --> 00:13:45,908
You remembered my name!
322
00:13:45,991 --> 00:13:47,785
Well, who could forget the name
323
00:13:47,868 --> 00:13:49,995
of a magnetic individual
like you?
324
00:13:50,079 --> 00:13:51,413
Keep up the good work, Max.
325
00:13:51,497 --> 00:13:52,581
"Mr. Power."
326
00:13:52,665 --> 00:13:55,084
Yes, of course."Mr. Power."
327
00:13:58,379 --> 00:14:02,758
So I want the monogram
to read "M-A-X-P-O-W..."
328
00:14:02,842 --> 00:14:06,428
Sir, traditionally,
a monogram is just initials.
329
00:14:06,512 --> 00:14:08,138
Max Power doesn't abbreviate.
330
00:14:08,222 --> 00:14:11,475
Each letter is as important
as the one that preceded it.
331
00:14:11,892 --> 00:14:15,145
Maybe more important...
No, as important.
332
00:14:15,229 --> 00:14:16,313
(sighing)
Very well.
333
00:14:16,397 --> 00:14:17,273
And if you got enough room
334
00:14:17,356 --> 00:14:19,483
add exclamation points
and a pirate flag.
335
00:14:19,942 --> 00:14:21,277
The man knows what he likes.
336
00:14:21,360 --> 00:14:22,361
Just taking care of business.
337
00:14:22,444 --> 00:14:24,113
If you don't, who will, huh?
338
00:14:24,196 --> 00:14:25,489
Trent Steel.
339
00:14:25,573 --> 00:14:27,783
Homer Sim... Uh, Max Power.
340
00:14:27,867 --> 00:14:29,743
Ooh, hey! Great name!
341
00:14:29,827 --> 00:14:32,413
Yeah, isn't it?
I got it off a hair dryer.
342
00:14:32,872 --> 00:14:36,625
(chuckling) I like a man
who can poke fun at himself.
343
00:14:36,709 --> 00:14:39,670
Ooh, hey, my 01:00 canceled.
Have you had any lunch?
344
00:14:39,753 --> 00:14:41,755
Yeah, but I usually have
three or four.
345
00:14:41,839 --> 00:14:43,883
So where to eat? You like Thai?
346
00:14:43,966 --> 00:14:45,551
Tie good. You like shirt?
347
00:14:48,554 --> 00:14:50,139
Marge, this is Thai food.
348
00:14:50,222 --> 00:14:52,349
From now on, I want it
morning, noon and night.
349
00:14:52,433 --> 00:14:54,476
When did you start
liking Thai food?
350
00:14:54,560 --> 00:14:56,437
When Trent Steel bought me some.
351
00:14:56,520 --> 00:14:57,855
Who's Trent Steel?
352
00:14:57,938 --> 00:15:00,149
He's Max Power's
oldest and dearest friend.
353
00:15:00,232 --> 00:15:01,817
What's this wrapped
in a banana leaf?
354
00:15:01,901 --> 00:15:04,820
(sniffing)
Mmm... smells like mint.
355
00:15:04,904 --> 00:15:06,906
-Oh, I spit my gum in there.
-Eeww.
356
00:15:06,989 --> 00:15:09,742
Where'd you meet
this Trent Steel... Moe's?
357
00:15:09,825 --> 00:15:11,785
No way. This guy's a winner.
358
00:15:11,869 --> 00:15:13,287
He has a company
that makes computers.
359
00:15:13,370 --> 00:15:16,206
Or a computer
that makes companies.
360
00:15:16,290 --> 00:15:17,416
Anyway, you wouldn't understand.
361
00:15:17,499 --> 00:15:18,792
Well, I guess your new name
362
00:15:18,876 --> 00:15:21,045
is really opening doors for you.
363
00:15:21,128 --> 00:15:23,631
For all of us... look.
364
00:15:23,714 --> 00:15:27,760
"You are invited
to a garden party this Saturday."
365
00:15:27,843 --> 00:15:29,345
This is our chance to rub elbows
366
00:15:29,428 --> 00:15:32,431
with Springfield's young,
hip, power couples
367
00:15:32,514 --> 00:15:34,350
like me and Debbie Pinson.
368
00:15:34,433 --> 00:15:35,643
(grunting)
369
00:15:41,899 --> 00:15:44,151
Wow! Look at this place.
370
00:15:44,234 --> 00:15:46,820
The house number
is spelled out with letters.
371
00:15:46,904 --> 00:15:48,197
Get used to it, honey.
372
00:15:48,280 --> 00:15:50,658
From now one,
we'll be spelling everything
373
00:15:50,741 --> 00:15:51,617
with letters.
374
00:15:53,911 --> 00:15:56,830
Did you wish me to destroy
this machine for you?
375
00:15:56,914 --> 00:15:57,790
Nah. Just park it.
376
00:15:57,873 --> 00:15:59,500
Very well.
377
00:15:59,583 --> 00:16:02,211
And I counted the pennies
in the ashtray!
378
00:16:02,294 --> 00:16:03,671
(music playing)
379
00:16:06,924 --> 00:16:09,259
Oh, look!
It's Woody Harrelson!
380
00:16:09,343 --> 00:16:11,428
(laughing) I can't believe those pants
381
00:16:11,512 --> 00:16:13,097
are made entirely out of hemp.
382
00:16:14,640 --> 00:16:16,350
And there's Ed Begley, Jr!
383
00:16:16,433 --> 00:16:19,853
...and this one solar collector
can gather enough energy
384
00:16:19,937 --> 00:16:21,730
to run this colorful pinwheel.
385
00:16:24,650 --> 00:16:27,236
Wait... wait, I got it, I got it.
386
00:16:29,196 --> 00:16:30,864
Very nice, Ed.
387
00:16:30,948 --> 00:16:32,866
Your inventions
continue to impress me
388
00:16:32,950 --> 00:16:34,576
and the entire nation.
389
00:16:37,454 --> 00:16:40,165
Marge... President Clinton.
390
00:16:40,249 --> 00:16:43,836
Oh, my Lord!
I feel like Cinderella!
391
00:16:43,919 --> 00:16:46,130
Me, too. Let's sing
the Cinderella song.
392
00:16:46,213 --> 00:16:47,297
Eh, maybe later.
393
00:16:47,381 --> 00:16:48,882
(gulping)
394
00:16:48,966 --> 00:16:50,426
Uh-oh. Here comes Lorne Michaels.
395
00:16:50,509 --> 00:16:51,468
Pretend you don't see him.
396
00:16:51,552 --> 00:16:53,971
Ah, Max Power.
397
00:16:54,054 --> 00:16:57,391
Trent said I absolutely must
meet you. This is fabulous--
398
00:16:57,474 --> 00:16:58,392
(loudly) Anyway, Marge...
399
00:16:58,475 --> 00:17:00,477
How do you feel
about the economy?
400
00:17:02,354 --> 00:17:03,439
(Homer laughing)
401
00:17:03,522 --> 00:17:06,650
So I said if this
is the house of pancakes
402
00:17:06,734 --> 00:17:08,277
how come I can't eat the walls?
403
00:17:08,360 --> 00:17:10,112
(others laughing)
404
00:17:11,071 --> 00:17:12,740
Oh, you are too much, Max.
405
00:17:12,823 --> 00:17:15,909
I thought I knew
all the players in Springfield.
406
00:17:15,993 --> 00:17:17,453
Where have you been
hiding yourself?
407
00:17:17,536 --> 00:17:19,913
Well, I spend a lot of time
on the couch.
408
00:17:19,997 --> 00:17:21,040
(chuckling)
Tell me about it.
409
00:17:21,123 --> 00:17:22,291
Haven't we all?
410
00:17:25,044 --> 00:17:26,795
I know you don't think
you're good enough for me,
411
00:17:26,879 --> 00:17:29,465
but believe me... you are.
412
00:17:29,548 --> 00:17:31,091
Hell, I've done it with pigs...
413
00:17:31,175 --> 00:17:32,968
(chuckling)
Real no-foolin' pigs.
414
00:17:33,052 --> 00:17:35,929
Are you sure it's a federal law
415
00:17:36,013 --> 00:17:37,347
that I have to dance with you?
416
00:17:37,431 --> 00:17:39,808
You know, I'd change that law
if I could, Marge,
417
00:17:39,892 --> 00:17:41,477
but... I can't.
418
00:17:41,560 --> 00:17:42,728
(whispering)
419
00:17:42,811 --> 00:17:46,648
Aw, shoot.
Quebec's got the bomb.
420
00:17:46,732 --> 00:17:47,900
Well, I got to go
421
00:17:47,983 --> 00:17:49,777
but, look, if you're ever
near the white house
422
00:17:49,860 --> 00:17:51,904
there's a tool-shed out back.
423
00:17:51,987 --> 00:17:53,489
I'm in there most of the day.
424
00:17:53,572 --> 00:17:55,157
(clicking tongue)
425
00:17:55,240 --> 00:17:57,201
Attention, please. Attention.
426
00:17:57,284 --> 00:18:00,954
Um, I just want to say how
thrilled I am with this turnout.
427
00:18:01,038 --> 00:18:02,414
I'm proud to share my home
428
00:18:02,498 --> 00:18:04,333
with Springfield's
best and brightest.
429
00:18:04,416 --> 00:18:06,085
Hey, no problem.
430
00:18:06,168 --> 00:18:09,338
We've all been blessed
with privilege and success.
431
00:18:09,421 --> 00:18:11,006
Whoo! Privilege!
432
00:18:11,090 --> 00:18:14,927
Uh, but with privilege
comes grave responsibility.
433
00:18:15,010 --> 00:18:16,095
(spitting)
What?!
434
00:18:16,178 --> 00:18:18,430
We all have to give
something back
435
00:18:18,514 --> 00:18:20,182
to the world that's been
so good to us.
436
00:18:20,265 --> 00:18:24,353
Give something back?
Boo! Get a haircut!
437
00:18:24,436 --> 00:18:28,190
I'm talking, of course,
about our endangered forests.
438
00:18:28,273 --> 00:18:30,192
(murmuring agreement)
439
00:18:30,275 --> 00:18:31,401
What's happening in the forest?
440
00:18:31,485 --> 00:18:32,736
We have to protect them
441
00:18:32,820 --> 00:18:35,489
because trees can't protect
themselves...
442
00:18:35,572 --> 00:18:37,825
Except, of course,
the Mexican fighting trees.
443
00:18:37,908 --> 00:18:40,202
Somebody buy this guy a tree
so he'll shut up.
444
00:18:40,285 --> 00:18:42,663
Can we let
the wanton destruction
445
00:18:42,746 --> 00:18:44,581
of our nation's forests continue?
446
00:18:44,665 --> 00:18:45,624
ALL: No!
447
00:18:45,707 --> 00:18:48,544
If a tree falls in the forest,
will you make a sound?
448
00:18:48,627 --> 00:18:49,461
ALL: Yes!
449
00:18:49,545 --> 00:18:51,130
To the protest bus!
450
00:18:51,213 --> 00:18:52,673
(all cheering)
451
00:18:52,756 --> 00:18:54,091
Hey, stop shoving!
452
00:18:54,174 --> 00:18:55,717
I'm Max Power.
453
00:18:55,801 --> 00:18:57,261
(sobbing)
What's going on, Trent?
454
00:18:57,344 --> 00:18:58,303
Where are you taking me?
455
00:18:58,387 --> 00:19:01,723
We're going to try and save
some beautiful redwoods.
456
00:19:02,599 --> 00:19:03,725
(screaming)
457
00:19:03,809 --> 00:19:05,644
Aren't you coming, Ed?
458
00:19:05,727 --> 00:19:07,980
I prefer a vehicle
that doesn't hurt mother Earth.
459
00:19:08,063 --> 00:19:11,775
It's a go-cart powered by my
own sense of self-satisfaction.
460
00:19:21,243 --> 00:19:23,829
Oh, this is the worst party ever.
461
00:19:23,912 --> 00:19:25,038
I don't know...
462
00:19:25,122 --> 00:19:27,291
Remember that new year's
eve at Lenny's?
463
00:19:27,374 --> 00:19:28,750
He didn't even have a clock.
464
00:19:28,834 --> 00:19:31,044
Oh, Marge,
I thought it would be fun
465
00:19:31,128 --> 00:19:34,256
to be on Springfield's "A" list,
but these people are nuts.
466
00:19:34,339 --> 00:19:37,176
You can't blame them
for having a social conscience.
467
00:19:37,259 --> 00:19:40,554
Sure you can.
Bunch of no-good do-gooders.
468
00:19:40,637 --> 00:19:41,847
Hang in there, Max.
469
00:19:41,930 --> 00:19:44,850
Saving the environment
is a hard, grueling job.
470
00:19:44,933 --> 00:19:46,768
That's what I am saying.
471
00:19:46,852 --> 00:19:48,228
See, Marge? This guy gets it.
472
00:19:48,312 --> 00:19:52,065
(siren blaring)
473
00:19:52,149 --> 00:19:53,775
All right,
what's going on here?
474
00:19:53,859 --> 00:19:56,445
We can't allow you to destroy
these beautiful trees
475
00:19:56,528 --> 00:19:57,946
which have the same
rights you have.
476
00:19:58,030 --> 00:20:01,366
Man, I have really had it
with you tree-huggers.
477
00:20:01,450 --> 00:20:03,202
(chuckling)
"Tree-huggers".
478
00:20:03,285 --> 00:20:04,328
Something funny, nature boy?
479
00:20:04,411 --> 00:20:07,497
No. I just thought it was
cute when you called them--
480
00:20:07,581 --> 00:20:09,082
Yeah, all right, Max Power.
481
00:20:09,166 --> 00:20:11,710
Eddie, swab this joker's eyes
with mace.
482
00:20:11,793 --> 00:20:14,046
"Swab"?
I thought it was a spray.
483
00:20:14,129 --> 00:20:15,756
-Okay, she's second.
-Hmm?
484
00:20:17,925 --> 00:20:19,218
(nervous sobbing)
485
00:20:21,178 --> 00:20:23,555
Don't give them the satisfaction
of screaming, Max.
486
00:20:23,639 --> 00:20:25,140
-It'll only burn for--
-(Homer screaming)
487
00:20:26,600 --> 00:20:27,726
Hey, hold still.
488
00:20:27,809 --> 00:20:29,269
Keep running, Max!
489
00:20:29,353 --> 00:20:30,771
I can't lose him!
490
00:20:30,854 --> 00:20:31,897
Help him out, Lou.
491
00:20:34,149 --> 00:20:35,442
Uh, you better call
for backup, Chief.
492
00:20:35,859 --> 00:20:36,944
Just leave me alone!
493
00:20:37,611 --> 00:20:39,321
Go swab Begley. He likes it.
494
00:20:40,739 --> 00:20:41,949
Slow down, punk!
495
00:20:43,825 --> 00:20:44,952
Uh-oh.
496
00:20:45,744 --> 00:20:47,162
I'm free! Whoo-hoo!
497
00:20:47,871 --> 00:20:49,498
(screech)
498
00:20:58,423 --> 00:21:00,092
Oh, no...
499
00:21:00,175 --> 00:21:01,927
(rumbling)
500
00:21:02,010 --> 00:21:04,513
(siren blares and fades)
501
00:21:05,013 --> 00:21:06,723
Mmm, what a tragedy.
502
00:21:06,807 --> 00:21:09,184
That car was just two days away
from retirement.
503
00:21:12,938 --> 00:21:14,481
(all gasping)
504
00:21:14,564 --> 00:21:15,440
This is terrible.
505
00:21:17,192 --> 00:21:18,860
Uh, so, Trent...
506
00:21:18,944 --> 00:21:20,529
where's the party bus
headed now?
507
00:21:21,655 --> 00:21:22,531
What?
508
00:21:24,533 --> 00:21:26,785
Well, I'm glad you
changed your name back
509
00:21:26,868 --> 00:21:28,453
to Homer Simpson.
510
00:21:28,537 --> 00:21:31,707
Yes... I learned
you got to be yourself.
511
00:21:31,790 --> 00:21:33,959
-Good night, honey.
-Good night.
512
00:21:34,042 --> 00:21:35,127
(click)
513
00:21:35,210 --> 00:21:36,670
Oh, I almost forgot--
514
00:21:36,753 --> 00:21:39,631
While I was at the courthouse
I had them change your name.
515
00:21:39,715 --> 00:21:40,799
To what?
516
00:21:40,882 --> 00:21:41,800
Chesty LaRue.
517
00:21:41,883 --> 00:21:43,135
Chesty LaRue?
518
00:21:43,218 --> 00:21:44,720
Just try it for two weeks.
519
00:21:44,803 --> 00:21:46,471
If you're not
completely satisfied
520
00:21:46,555 --> 00:21:47,723
you can be Busty St. Claire.
521
00:21:47,806 --> 00:21:50,183
I don't want to be Chesty LaRue
522
00:21:50,267 --> 00:21:52,019
or Busty St. Claire.
523
00:21:52,102 --> 00:21:54,646
-Fine. Hooty McBoob it is.
-Good night, Homer.
524
00:21:55,564 --> 00:21:56,982
HOMER: Sleep tight, Hooty.
525
00:21:57,357 --> 00:21:58,567
MARGE: Let go of those.
526
00:21:58,650 --> 00:22:00,402
HOMER: Heh-heh-heh...
527
00:22:00,485 --> 00:22:02,195
(theme music playing)
528
00:22:41,026 --> 00:22:42,235
Shh.
529
00:22:45,280 --> 00:22:47,282
{\an8}Captioned by
Visual Data Media Services
37261
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