All language subtitles for The Nanny s05 e19

[sniffs]

Niles, what is that sickeningly
sweet, overpowering smell?

The cologne you gave me
for my birthday.

Don't you just love it?
What's it called again?

"Tester."

Say, wait a minute.

Cologne? What's that?
New oven mitts?

And you're wearing a girdle.

Ms. Babcock is coming home
from the sanitarium.

This has nothing to do with her.

I'm wearing it
because I pulled my back.

Oh yeah, sure
and I wear a Wonderbra

because I sprained my breasts.

-Oh, hi, darling.
-Good morning, darling.

Oh, what have we here?

The proposal
from the wedding planner?

-Uh, yeah.
-Now, tell me,

is the caterer
gonna be charging us

by the person or by the couple?

Well, after all the samples
that me and Ma consumed,

the caterer decided to charge
my side of the family

per person as a couple.

Well, that's outrageous.

The bartender's doing
the same thing with your side.

We don't really have
to use this guy.

I mean, I could plan this
wedding myself.

Oh, no, no, no, no.
We want it to be nice.

I mean, you know, fancy. Classy.

[clears throat]
When do they need the deposit?

You don't think that I can make
a nice affair?

Listen, I know how it's done.
You just need a very good theme.

Something that's elegant
and understated.

Starlight Express. Do you skate?

Fran, it's not that
the Duchess of Kent

wouldn't love to arrive
at the dais

on Rollerblades,
but you're my princess.

I want this to be the wedding
of your dreams.

But...

This is the wedding of mydreams.

Sir, it's your brother
with some urgent news.

Oh, yes, Nigel, what is it?

Oh, my God. I see.

Yes. Well, thank you
for calling.

-Goodbye.
-What?

That was Nigel.
Apparently, last night,

my father passed away.

Oh, honey. I'm so sorry.

Hello, hello, I'm back.

Well, what's with
the sourpusses? Who died?

♪ She was working
in a bridal shop ♪

♪ In Flushing, Queens ♪

♪ Til her boyfriend
kicked her out ♪

♪ In one of those
crushing scenes ♪

♪ What was she to do?
Where was she to go? ♪

♪ She was out on her fanny ♪

♪ So over the bridge
from Flushing ♪

♪ To the Sheffield's door ♪

♪ She was there to sell makeup
but the father saw more ♪

♪ She had style, she had flair
she was there ♪

♪ That's how she became ♪

♪ The Nanny ♪

♪ Who would have guessed
that the girl we described ♪

♪ Was just exactly
what the doctor prescribed? ♪

♪ Now, the father
finds her beguiling ♪

♪ Watch out C.C. ♪

♪ And the kids
are actually smiling ♪

♪ Such joie de vivre ♪

♪ She's the lady in red ♪

♪ When everybody else
is wearing tan ♪

♪ The flashy girl
from Flushing ♪

♪ The Nanny named Fran ♪

Let's have the Sheffields
in here, please.

-Max, hello.
-Chandler.

-Thank you.
-Sit here.

I'm just so embarrassed.

I mean, I hardly knew Grandpa.

But I felt close to him,
after all those heartfelt cards

his secretary wrote us
on our birthdays.

She never forgot.

Oh, you know, honey,
just let it out.

But at least you know
what happened to your grandpa.

Mine stepped into a magician's
box in the Catskills

and was never seen again.

Many years later,
someone spotted him

with a magician's assistant
in Miami.

But nothing was ever proven.

Please be seated.

First of all, uh, let me say
how sorry I am for your loss.

[sobbing]

Oh, Maggs, it's okay.

I cried like a baby, too,
when I realized

how much money
we're gonna inherit.

Brighton, please.

Not everything is just
about money, you know.

Really, Brighton,
have a little more sensitivity.

It happens to be very traumatic
when a man loses his father.

He's no longer the son
looking up to somebody.

He's now the one
that's next in line to die.

It's lonely. It's aging.

Thanks, dear.

Lean on me, baby.

Anyway, getting down
to business,

your father left you all...

What? The racehorses,
the Ferrari,

the country house in Tuscany?

-A videotape.
-Damn.

Brighton, please, look,
your grandfather

may have been cold, selfish
and detached,

but to me,
he will always be "sir."

In any case, uh,
Mr. Sheffield Sr. made this tape

to convey his plans,

uh, regarding his estate.

I can never get this thing
to work.

Oh, give me that.

Channel three, video one,
extended play. Go, go, go.

To my three children

who have enjoyed
all the privileges

of the Sheffield name
and upbringing,

I leave my sincere wishes
for a long and happy life

and a few little trinkets
for the grandchildren.

Please tell me the racehorse's
name is "Trinket."

Yes, and what about the bulk
of his estate?

You may be wondering
what's the plan are

for the bulk of my estate.

Yes.

Well, let me explain.

Gee, too bad you two
couldn't communicate like this

when he was alive.

There's a woman who was never
able to enjoy the privileges

that come along
with being a Sheffield.

My fourth child,

Concepcion.

[stutters] What? Well, where did
this fourth child come from?

Well, I guess Concepcion
wasn't immaculate.

To her, I leave
my entire estate.

Well, that's that then.

Good luck.

Goodbye.

Ta-ta.

I can't believe this.

Send her in, please.

Hola.

I'm Maria de la Concepcion
Bustillo Garcia Delamo

Sheffield.

It is your father's wish
that his estate

in the amount of $100 million
goes to her.

Auntie Concepcion.

Brighton, would you
knock it off?

Look, my father
was such a philanderer,

he'd believe anyone
who claimed to be his child.

What proof do we have this woman
and I are related?

Well, let's get to know her
a little bit.

Hi, honey. Are you married?

Oh, well, I was living
with a man for five years,

but I couldn't make
a commitment.

Well, there's your DNA test.

Oh, I cannot believe
how many people

showed up for that memorial.

My tongue is so dry
from putting stamps

-on all these thank-you notices.
-Hmm.

Are you sure I wasn't mentioned
in the will?

He always said
I was like a son to him.

You were. You got bubkes too.

I'm supposed to be jumping up
and down

because Grandpa left me
a cracked porcelain doll?

I mean, you could buy a car with
how much that stamp collection

you inherited is worth.

You know, most people don't have
what we have.

Maybe this will give you
the opportunity to understand

something beyond
your privileged existence.

You do know that if Dad
hasn't socked anything away,

he's gonna have
to dip into your trust fund.

He can do that?

You know,
I don't believe you kids.

You just lost your grandfather,
you just found out

that you have a new member
of the family

and all you three are focused on
is the money.

I'm very disappointed in you

and I think you should go
to your rooms

-and really think about this.
-Sorry, Fran.

-Yeah, well.
-Well, Brighton brought it up.

She's always been poor.
What's it to her?

Can you believe those kids?

Making something out of nothing?

They are making something
out of nothing, aren't they?

[exclaims] After not having been

in my apartment
for three months,

I really had to air it out.

It smelled like
a cat died in there.

[gasps]

-You have a dog.
-Oh!

[gasps]

We're taking care of him.

Perhaps what you smelled
in your apartment

was the stench
of your decaying youth.

You know, Niles, I learned
something at the place.

If 220 volts of electricity
can't hurt me,

300 pounds of butler sure can't.

Well, are you happy to have
your little friend home?

Oh, it's all right.

So, isn't it a pity that

Maxwell's father left
all his money to a trollop?

Oh, he left something for me?

Oh, you meant her.

So Nanny Fine,
what are you gonna do

now that the wedding's off?

Well, who said anything
about the wedding being off?

[chuckles] Nanny Fine,
without his inheritance,

Maxwell will run out of money
like that.

It takes a lot of money
to keep you looking that cheap.

Well, for your information,
it would not matter to me

if Maxwell
were completely broke,

because I am not in it
for the money.

I'm in it for love.

Well, isn't that sweet?

We'll see if you feel
the same way

when Maxwell has to move in
with you and your mother.

Think about it, Nanny Fine.
[laughing]

[burps]

Hi, honey.

Bad news. The doctor says
I gotta quit the paper route.

I'm getting too big
for the bike.

Darling, come here and let Daddy
give you some sugar.

[burps]

Uh... Look, here. I was looking
through the want ads.

I thought I'd circle a few
things you were qualified to do.

But there's nothing
circled here, my pet.

No kidding.

Oh, now, this is ridiculous.
We're overreacting.

I mean, a smart man
like Mr. Sheffield

isn't gonna burn through
his own money

because he knows that he's got
his father's hundred mil coming.

We would, but he wouldn't.

Oh, I'm sure you're right.
There's nothing to worry about.

If Maxwell were seriously
counting on his inheritance,

he'd be rushing off to London
to contest the will.

Just off to London
on the Concorde.

Nothing to worry about.

Uh-oh...

Well, I must say.
So far, I am enjoying

my return to sanity very much.

I can't believe
this is happening.

I love this house.

Well, get used to it, Ma.

Because we're one step away
from the poor house.

[sobs] I hate the poor house.

Look, we're just going to have

to learn to economize.
That's all.

I mean, the kids will get used
to wearing hand-me-downs.

Maggie will give her skirts
to Gracie.

Gracie will give
her skirts to me.

What are you, nuts?

What is the one thing
that I taught you?

Death begins in the colon?

That and don't give up
without a fight.

Go and get that inheritance back
from Conception.

Why should she wind up
with our money?

She's not even
a real Sheffield like us.

Ma, we're just gonna have
to learn

to save like normal people.

Beginning with,

why is Mr. Sheffield
paying for this wedding?

Isn't it traditional

for the bride's parents
to pay for it?

Haven't you guys
been saving for years?

Well, we were,
but when you turned 30,

we thought it was safe
to spend it on a Buick.

Oh, Ma, I'm just so worried
about the Sheffields.

I mean, they're used
to the finer things in life.

They're not like me.

I know what it's like to scrimp,
struggle, go hungry.

You're gonna march your tuchus

right down
to that gold digger's hotel

and protect your family
from losing all of this.

I know. Max and the kids
mean everything.

What Max? I'm talking about me
and Daddy.

-Hola!
-Francesca.

Muy!

I love what you're wearing.
You got such great taste.

Ma, I want you
to meet Concepcion.

-And this is my mother.
-Consuela.

Uh, Sylvi-oh.

[both] You see,
that's how I want my hair.

Consuelo, you really had
a pretty hot affair

with Maxwell'sfather, huh?

Yes, I was a flamenco dancer.

[exclaims]

So, why did you stop?

Who says I stopped?

-Fran, come sit down.
-Okay.

So, what can I do for you?

Look, let's not
beat around the bush.

Where is the room service menu?

-Here it is.
-Okay.

It's so hard for me to accept
that this is all mine.

-But I guess I'll have to adapt.
-Ha! [laughs]

-You know, Concepcion.
-Mm.

Uh, me and your brother
are gonna be married

in less than a month

and if you and your mother
are still in town,

I'd just love you to come
and pay

for the wedding.
Did I say pay?

-We'd love to come.
-Oh, good. [laughs]

Oh, this platter looks like
it's enough for us.

No, no, no. It says,
"Served from 8:00 to 11:00."

Hmm.

Well, that's no good.

Let me offer you
something to drink.

Okay.

You know, Connie.
Just a little hypothetical here.

What if, like, you had
all of my money?

What would be a tactful way
for me to ask for it back

and still come out
smelling like a rose?

Oh, you're so funny,chica.

-"Funnychica",
-[laughs]

Oh, you and I
are gonna be good friends.

Oh, good. [laughs]

-Oh, Fran.
-Yes?

You know, my whole life,
I felt I was nothing

and that my father
was ashamed of me.

-Oh.
-But him leaving me

all this money proves that
I lived in his heart.

Oh! Oy.

You're so lucky.

You have a home,
beautiful children

and a man who loves you.

Double oy.

You know, Niles,
when I was away at the...

place.

It was really scary

because when I was all doped up,
I kept hearing these voices.

"Maxwell loves Fran.

You're alone and old."

"You have to wear
a straightjacket

to feel a man's arms
around you."

That was you?

You did come and visit me,
you old softy.

Oh, God, all is right
with the world.

Maxwell's father is dead.

He left Maxwell broke and in
desperate need of a rich wife.

Oh, welcome home, sir.

Oh, is it hot in here?

Oh, welcome home, Maxwell.

How's the family, sir?

Well, they're dealing with it
as best they can, Niles.

Nigel wanted
to contest the will,

but the lawyer seems to think
it's ironclad.

Oh, that is despicable.

Maxwell, let me
put this delicately.

I have 20 mil, I'll buy
my own ring, I have no pride.

Oh, I've missed that
sense of humor, C.C.

Heh-heh-heh-heh-heh.

[sighs] Oh, hi, honey.
Oh, I'm so glad you're home.

-I missed you.
-Darling.

-I've missed you too.
-How'd it go?

Well, the will
is incontestable I'm afraid,

but, Niles, now, there's a list
here of things

from my father's estate
that have to go to Concepcion.

Just a few dusty old antiquities
we can live without.

Oh, sir, this just isn't fair.
Ms. Babcock's not on the list.

Honey, I wanna talk to you.

I've given this a lot of thought
and, you know,

I have been poor and I can be
poor again.

But you don't know what it is
to be broke.

And you got the kids
to think about...

No, wait, Fran,
what are you saying?

Well, I'm saying that

if you need to marry a woman
with money

to preserve your lifestyle,

I will understand

and I'll let you
out of your commitment.

It's just as easy
to marry a rich girl

as it is to marry a poor one.

That's an interesting saying.
I've not heard that one before.

Me and my big mouth.

Fran, are you sure
you don't want to reconsider?

I mean, it is just as easy
to marry a rich man

as it is to marry a poor one.

Actually, it's not.

Fran, I'm not broke.

Far from it. I'm a very
successful Broadway producer.

Sometimes, I'm a very successful
producer.

I have had a hit on occasion.

Oh, come on. Look, they're not
taking everything.

Oh, honey. Tell me the truth.

-You can be honest with me.
-We are not going to starve.

Unless your mother
moves in with us.

Oh, look, we're not
down and out yet.

Don't you worry, I've still got
a few things up my sleeve.

Your watch, sir.

Thank you.

Oh, sweetie,
don't worry about it.

I'll replace it wholesale
from Avenue K.

Which incidentally is gonna be

the first letter
of your new Cartier. [laughs]

That is so sweet of you.

Honey, you know, I was trying
to help you today

and I... I went over
to Waldorf Towers...

Oh, no. Oh, Fran. Dear God.
You didn't go traipsing over

to see Concepcion
and try to talk her

into giving back the money

against my father's
dying wishes?

-Oh!
-What did she say?

I couldn't ask her
for it, sweetie.

I just felt so sorry for her.

I mean, she's got all that
money, but I've got you.

Darling.

Do you know what worried me most
about my father dying

and leaving me nothing?

The leaving you nothing part?

No.

The thought of I'd be losingyou.

Aww!

I mean, you know,
I'm not the man

I was when I proposed to you,
Fran.

[giggles]

Wait a minute. We are still
talking about the money.

I mean, there wasn't like
an accident or anything?

No, no, just the money.

Oh, sweetie, I love you so much.

For rich or for poorer.

Which I'm hoping is at least
a split-level in Long Island?

Oh!

Darling, it won't have
to cometo that.

I want you to have the house
of your dreams.

But that is the house
of my dreams.

[doorbell rings]

-Sir.
-Niles.

Chandler, what on Earth
are you doing here?

I have just come from a meeting
with Concepcion

who has decided to share

her inheritance
with her new siblings.

-What?
-What?

But I don't understand.

I thought you said you didn't
ask for the money back.

I didn't. I just welcomed her
into the family.

Which is all she ever
really wanted.

-Aww!
-Oh.

Baby, you're the greatest.

You know, Ms. Babcock.

With Mr. Sheffield and Ms. Fine
doing so well,

no one would fault you
if you went back to the asylum

for a little jolt.

Actually, Niles, I think
I'm handling it very well.

What?

I'm just responding
to what you said.

I didn't say a word.

What do you mean
you didn't say anything?

I distinctly heard you say
something about the asylum.

Are you insinuating that I am
in some way...

Wasn't Niles just here?

I didn't see him.

Tell your father that
I'll be back in a few weeks.

[theme music playing]

[theme music ends]

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