All language subtitles for The Nanny s05 e18

Well, in just seven weeks

-this is going to be our room.
-[Val and Sylvia] Oh.

-Our bed.
-Oh.

-Our chair.
-Oh.

-Our lamp.
-Oh.

And my closet.

-[gasps]
-Oh.

And who says size
isn't important in the bedroom?

Mm-hmm.

Val, this is what I picked out
for Maxwell to wear to
my high school reunion party.

It's like having
a great big Ken doll.

Uh-huh.

Only mine
is anatomically correct.

Please, God.

Meanwhile,
this is the first time

you got a reason
to go to your reunion.

You should be more concerned
with what you're gonna wear.

You know, I just thought
I'd wear a simple,
drop-dead gorgeous fiancé

-and accessorize it with this.
-[chuckles]

You know, I can't wait to see
Naomi Demble's face
when you walk in.

-Oh! She was so mean to us
in high school.
-Twice.

She told everyone
that we were lesbian lovers.

[chuckles]

Yeah, but you know,
it backfired on her

-because we were never
so popular with the boys.
-Yep.

[humming]

-Oh!
-[women scream]

[laughing]

All right, hands up,
anyone who doesn't
belong in here.

Well, I bet you weren't
expecting three gorgeous gals
in your bed.

Yeah.

Now, don't go getting
any ideas.

Yes, well, I think
this has sufficiently put
that fantasy to rest, Sylvia.

I'm sorry, honey.
I wanted to show the girls

what you're wearing
to my high school reunion
Saturday night.

Uh, Saturday night?
I thought you said
it was next Saturday.

Well, it was next Saturday
when I told you about it
last Saturday.

Ah. Well, this Saturday,
I have to fly to Washington
to talk

at the National Endowment
for the Arts.

Oh, no, you have to come.

The last two reunions,
I carried a man's coat

and said my fiancé was
in the bathroom.

I don't think that they'll go
for it a third time.

What do you want me to do?

Cancel on the President
of the United States?

Well, he's been known to put
pleasure before business.

Why can't you?

♪ She was working
In a bridal shop ♪

♪ In Flushing, Queens ♪

♪ Till her boyfriend
Kicked her out ♪

♪ In one of those
Crushing scenes ♪

♪ What was she to do?
Where was she to go? ♪

♪ She was out on her fanny ♪

♪ So over the bridge
From Flushing ♪

♪ To the Sheffield's door ♪

♪ She was there to sell make-up
But the father saw more ♪

♪ She had style!
She had flair!
She was there ♪

♪ That's how she became ♪

♪ The Nanny ♪

♪ Who would have guessed
That the girl we described ♪

♪ Was just exactly
What the doctor prescribed? ♪

♪ Now, the father
Finds her beguiling ♪

♪ Watch out C.C. ♪

♪ And the kids
Are actually smiling ♪

♪ Such joie de vivre ♪

♪ She's the lady in red ♪

♪ When everybody else
Is wearing tan ♪

♪ The flashy girl
From Flushing ♪

♪ The Nanny named Fran! ♪

[groovy music playing]

Oh, Val, I cannot believe how
our entire graduating class
has aged.

-Everybody looks so old.
-Yeah.

You wanna sign the guest book?

Oh, no.
I'll tell you, my joints are
all stiff from the dampness.

You know what?
Let's hit the buffet

-and see what they got.
-Yeah. Good. All right.
You know what?

Let's load up
on the finger food

because I want it
to look really organic
when I flash my new ring

-under Naomi Demble's new nose.
-Okay.

Excuse me, could you pass me
a quiche?

[women] Oh!

Oh.

-Ray Barone.
-Hey. You look great.

-Look at you.
-Thank you.

-Oh, you brought your fiancé.
-[laughs] No.

Hey, right there.

Nice to see you again, buddy.

Uh-uh. Oh, no, Ray.
Fran's not making up
ridiculous excuses anymore.

Her fiancé
had to go to Washington
to talk to the President.

Mm-hmm.

He's in the bathroom.

[laughs]

You know, Raymond,
in highschool

-I had such a crush on you.
-No.

[chuckling]
Well, who didn't?

Everybody loved Raymond.

[laughs]

You know, Ray, I understand
congratulations are in order.

I read in the newsletter
that you just had twins.

-That must be fabulous.
-Yeah. Yeah.

-I have a 5-year-old
and twin 2-year-old boys.
-Wow.

So, you know,
I don't care
how this reunion goes

I'm just happy to be out
of the house.

[laughing]

That was always you, Ray.
Funny and fertile.

Oh!

Thank you.
And we just got
a deal on a house too.

No one wanted to live there
because of the noise factor.

Why? Are you near the airport
or something?

No, no, across the street
from my parents.

[laughs]

Oh, boy, Ray,
I think you better
get back to your table.

It looks like your wife
is getting a little annoyed

that you're talking so long
to the two of us.

No, it's because
this is her plate. Yeah.

-Bye. See you.
-Bye, Ray.

-Fran.
-What?

Naomi Demble, 11 o'clock.

Where?

That's 1 o'clock, Val.

Fran, it's me, Naomi.

Hi, Naomi. How are you?
You look fabulous.

I know.

You two, you look stunning.

-Your hair, your outfits.
-Thank you. Thank you.

You see? You wait long enough,
everything comes back again.

Let's hope the same doesn't
apply to yourschnoz.

-Oh.
-[chuckles]

-Just like old times.
-I know.

Come sit at my table.
Gayle, Ivy, Dolores,
they're all here.

-They hated us.
-I know. Come sit.

Look who it is.

-Hi.
-Hi.

Oh, my God.

-You look awesome.
-Oh, my God.

-Oh, Dotty, tell me...
-Pretty.

How is that husband of yours,
Mr. Park Avenue Doctor?

Oh. Oh, well, the older we got,
the less we found
we had in common.

-Oh.
-Yeah. He liked to sleep with
18-year-olds, and I wasn't one.

[gasps]

-How awful.
-You're divorced?

-Honey, we all are.
-[Val gasps]

But you all seemed so happy
at the last reunion.

You were flashing
your wedding pictures

and showing off
your engagement rings

which, if you ask me,
I thought was very obnoxious.

You're happy
for two minutes,

and then everything's
an argument.

I think it's cold.
He thinks it's hot.

I like Letterman.
He likes Leno.

I dislike his friends.

He thinks all mine are shrill,
foul-mouthed boozers.

He could bite me.

Franny, you were
the smart one.

Marriage is the surest way
to ruin any relationship.

[sighing] So, what's new
with you?

I'm engaged.

-Oh, Franny. Oh.
-Oh.

You know, Niles,
ever since those men came
to take Miss Babcock away...

Ho-ho, hee-hee, ha-ha.

You're acting kind of strange.
I mean, why don't you just admit
you miss her?

Because I don't miss her.

Oh, really?
Explain tonight's dessert.

So, what of it?

All my years of torment
and torture have put her
where she is today.

There's not a moment
that goes by
that I don't blame myself.

But, Niles, it was
Dad's and Fran's engagement

that sent her
over the edge.

That's what I think,
but I didn't wanna say.

You want a piece of chin?
She's got three.

-Just gonna pass.
-Okay.

Okay, home sweet home.

Come on in.

So, tell me, Mary Ann,
what does your daddy do?

He's Chairman and CEO
of Amcon International.

What does your father do?

Eats pudding.

Is anyone hungry?
I'll cut you a slab
of Miss Babcock.

-No.
-No.

Isn't Fran cool?
I can't wait till her and
my Dad get married.

Ever since my Dad
married my stepmother,
I became invisible.

I guess I got a little blurry
when they tried to focus on me

through a martini glass
in St.Bart's.

Well, that won't happen to me.

-Oh, hello, darling.
-Hi, sweetie.

-Hello. I'm here.
-Oh, sorry, sweetie.

-Sorry, didn't see you there.
-Didn't see you.

Mm-hmm.

Well, my plane
landed a little late.

How was your reunion?

Oh, I'll tell you,
everybody was so self-absorbed

with their divorces
and their child custody battles

that it was nearly impossible
to steer them back
to me and my engagement.

Mmm, there you go.

That's why I hate reunions.
I'll come up with
any excuse I can to avoid...

Oh, well, no, this was real.
I actually went to Washington.

Look, I stole you
a White House coaster

to go with your collection
of pilfered memorabilia.

Oh.

Thank you, sweetie.

Oh, you know me so well.

See, that's why we're never
gonna have the problems

that my friends have.

You wouldn't believe
the idiotic reasons that
broke up their marriages.

I mean, who cares what
television show you watch
before you go to bed?

Well, exactly.Nightline.

OrTV Land.

Whatever. [chuckles]

What difference does it make
if you spend every Sunday

coordinating bathroom towels
with wallpaper?

Or going to the driving range.

-Whatever.
-Whatever.

The important thing is
I'm gonna wake up every morning

with your arms
around me like this.

Well, actually,
to be strictly honest

it will be more like this
because I sleep on
the left side of the bed.

Oh, but

that's my side.

-Well, not anymore.
-[chuckles]

But Jews always lie
to the left of center.

Politically, Fran.
Not Posturepedically.

Well, now, wait a minute here.

It seems like I'm making
all the compromises.

I mean, I'm the one that's
moving out of my place.

-I'm moving into your place.
-Yes, well, your place
is my place

and my place
is where it's always been

on the left side of the bed.
It's been there for 40 years.

Yeah, well, I've been
on the left side for...

Oh, nice try.

You know, Fran,
one of these days you have
to tell me your exact age.

Oh, all right. Fine.

You sleep on the left.

-Thank you, Niles.
-Mm-hmm.

Do you have anymore
of that Miss Babcock cake?

Tons and tons.

Just as in life,
no one's touched her.

Oh, Ma, do you think that it's
bad that me and Mr. Sheffield

are already fighting
and we aren't even
married yet?

Darling, do you realize
that your father and I
wouldn't even speak

if it weren't for fighting?

That and ordering.

You know, Fran, it's healthy
to get out all your differences

-before you make a commitment.
-I suppose.

Look, Kenny and I
had to work through
a lot of things

before I would let him live
with me.

Val, Kenny's a dog.

Let's just say, you know,
we're already fighting

over what side of the bed
we sleep on.

Darling, trust me,
once you have children

you'll be too exhausted
to fight.

You'll sleep wherever you land.

I guess you're right.

Oh, this is all so trivial.

I mean, the important thing is,
Maxwell is a wonderful man

-and we love each other.
-Mm-hmm.

We're gonna make
beautiful babies together.

All before I'm 30.

-Who wants cake?
-[women] Ooh.

She's loaded with rum,
just like the original.

-Oh, Maxwell.
-Oh, Fran.

-I apologize.
-I'm sorry.

-Oh, you first.
-No, you first.

-No, you first.
-No, I insist. You first.

Oh, look at this. We're fighting
over who ends the fight first.

[both chuckling]

Well, I did.

Well, technically it was me,
but whatever.

Sweetie, if you want
the left side of the bed,
you got the left side.

The point is,
that is the bed

that we're going to sleep on
for the rest of our lives.

The bed we're gonna
raise a family on.
The bed we're gonna...

-Excuse me?
-What?

A family?

Well, yeah, a family.
I mean...

You know, we've never really
discussed this before,

but you do wanna
have a family with me,
don't you?

Well, I...
You know, I...

I haven't really given it
much thought yet.

I mean, we do have
three children already.

Yes, and I love them
like they were my own,

but, well, I never got
to experience them
taking their first steps.

I never got to rock them
in my arms.

Except for that one time
that Maggie came home sick
from a frat party.

What frat party?

Oh, frap...

-Frap party.
Frappuccino, cappuccino.
-Oh.

All that caffeine
made her very dizzy.

The point is, I want to
experience motherhood.

I wanna know
what it feels like
to be pregnant.

I wanna wake up and throw up
and be sick

and not just because I opened
my Visa bill.

Fran, the thing is,
I'm not sure I'm prepared
to have more children.

Well, the time
on my biological clock
is running out

so you better decide
in the next 15 years.

Fran.

I wanna have a baby.

Uh-oh. She wants a baby
of her own.

Once that happens,
you'll get shipped off

to some miserable
boarding school.

Well, why? You don't go
to boarding school.

-You go to the same school I do.
-My father had a vasectomy.

Now, darling,
I'm sure it's not
half as bad as it seems.

What could he have said?

[sobbing] He doesn't
wanna have a baby.

Where is he?
I'll kill him.

Five long years
he strings me along

and then he pulls
this crap on me seven weeks
before my wedding.

My wedding, Ma.

It's not natural.
I never heard
of such a thing.

What man
doesn't wanna procrastinate
with the woman he loves?

Procreate, Ma.

I don't get it.

Why doesn't he wanna have
children with me?

I mean, is there
some trait of mine

that he's afraid
I'm gonna pass on
to the kids?

What could it be?

Amy Irving.

Ninety-two million she got
when she split from Spielberg.

You think she would
have gotten 9 cents

if she didn't
have a kid with him?

Ma, what does that
have to do with us?
[sniffling]

I don't know.
It just seemed pertinent.

Fran, I am telling you
right now.

If I don't get grandchildren
out of him,

I will never set foot
in this house again.

Oh, well, congratulations, Ma.

You have just invented the first
fool-proof male contraceptive.

[knocking on door]

Excuse me, sir.
I put together a little card
to cheer up Miss Babcock.

-Would you care to sign?
-Oh, yes.

"Let's hope your recovery is
faster than your metabolism."

Niles?

Oh, I see
what you're getting at.

Keep up the insults.

Maintain a sense
of normalcy, huh?

-Um, yeah.
-There you go.

Oh, Niles...

I need a little help
with something.

Why can't Fran just be happy
with what she has?

I mean,
we haven't even walked
down the aisle yet.

What are you talking about, sir?

Niles, are you telling me that
for the first time in 25 years

you don't know
about something in this house?

Yes.

What's happening to me?

Without Miss Babcock,
me muse is gone.

Oh, don't be so ridiculous.

Even before
Miss Babcock was here,

you were always
a big, fat gossip.

Excuse me.
I have better things
to do than...

You thought I was fat?

Look, Fran wants to have
a baby with me.

What? You've forgotten
how to do it?

This is serious, Niles.

I'm not sure I--

I don't think I wanna go
through that again.

You know, all the crying
and the diapers

and the waking up at 4:00
in the morning.

Oh, sir, it's really not so bad,
when you consider
I did all that.

You know, come to think of it,
you are too old to have a baby.

I'm not that old.

You have three
children already.

Why can't Miss Fine
be happy with that?

Because they're not ours.

Having a baby
is one of those things
that bonds a couple together.

Oh. That's why
we're so close.

You know,
maybe it would be fun

to have a baby
around the house again.

Niles, do you remember
when the children were little

that Christmas
we baked cookies

and I pretended to come down
the chimney as Santa Claus?

That was me too, sir.

You thought I should
play Santa.

Probably because I was so fat.

What's wrong with Blossom?

Well, I'm worried about
what's gonna happen to me

after Fran and Daddy
get married.

Gracie found a brochure
for boarding school.

Oh, man. What ages?
What ages? Come on.

-Eight to 14.
-Oh, I'm cool. Write me.

Don't worry about him.
He's an idiot.

I will always be here
for you, Gracie.

[horn honks]

Starting tomorrow.
That's Rick.

Hi, sweetie.

What's the matter?

Okay, Fran. I wanna calmly
discuss the situation.

-Okay.
-I don't wanna go
to the place

where I'm saying,
"I hate you! I hate you both!"

Gracie, honey.

What are you talking about?
What situation?

Well, it has to do
with my friend.

Your friend?

Oh, your friend.

Oh, my God.
You got your friend.

-What?
-Don't worry, sweetie

these mood swings
are normal.

Before your cycle,
during your cycle
and after your cycle.

No, Fran,
I'm talking about
my friend Mary Ann.

She said that once
you and Daddy got married,
you'd get rid of me.

And then I found this.

"Miss Porter's Boarding School"?

Oh, sweetie,
this has gotta be
a mistake.

And, you know,
it isn't nice for little
girls to go snooping

through their father's mail.

I don't know where
you learn these things...

Oh, maybe I shouldn't ask
so many questions.

Come on. We'll go talk
to your father.

Maxwell, we need to talk.

Now, it's one thing
not to want to have
any more children with me

but now to send my youngest
off to boarding school.

[sighing] Well, if you had
bothered to steal the insert

that goes with that brochure,
you would know
that it was actually

a summer drama camp
on Miss Porter's campus.

Well, I don't care
what it is.

I am not sending
poor little Gracie off
to some miserable camp.

Hey, Fran, wait.
This place looks awesome.

Eighty-six it, honey.
I'm winning this compromise.

And furthermore,
if this is the way
you're going to behave

maybe it's a good thing
that we're not having
a child together.

Fran, I'd like
to re-visit that discussion.

Go look at your fun
brochure, honey.

Darling, it's not that I don't
want to have children with you.

It's just that
we've waited so long
to be alone together.

Anyway,
you have a lot of time
to have children.

You're still so young.

Oh, come on.
I mean, you got a point.

I want us to spend some time
traveling the world together.

Eating at exotic restaurants

sipping champagne
on beautiful yachts
as they pull into foreign ports.

Well, I was thinking about
a weekend in the Poconos

with a complimentary
bagel breakfast,

but once again,
I'll compromise.

Oh, I guess it's okay
if we wait a while.

I mean, after all,
you don't make a baby

necessarily on
the first time out.

-We're gonna need
a lot of practice.
-Mmm.

You know, you're awfully cute
when you compromise.

And you're awfully cute
when you tell me
I'm awfully cute.

[chuckling]

[clicking]

It's a bit more normalcy
for Miss Babcock.

Got a stamp?

Oh, well, you see,
here's yet another reason

why I should be
on the left side of the bed

because when I put
my mini-fridge in here,
it's gonna open to the right.

You know, you could put in
a full-size in that corner

-with a faux wooden door...
-Uh-huh.

...it would pass
for an armoire.

Oh, look, picture-in-picture.

Mister Ed,
and who's Madeleine Albright?

She's the Secretary of State.

Now, would you please
get out of my room?

Honey...

[theme music playing]

[theme music ends]