All language subtitles for The Nanny s05 e17

[grunting]

What are you doing?

We're arm wrestling
to see who gets your room.

Niles, she's a little girl.

[sobs] You're hurting me.

Oh, I'm sorry.

Ow!

Sucker.

Meanwhile, you're so busy
deciding who gets my room

where am I supposed to sleep?

Well, Fran, once you're married
you'll move in with Daddy.

Oh, my God.

This just keeps getting
better and better.

Oh, there's my adorable
new roommate now.

-Morning, darling.
-You know, sweetie

last night, you didn't give me
that little something

that I'm used to getting
from you every week.

Oh, Fran, since we got engaged

I didn't think I had to
give it you anymore.

Wait. I know what
I'm talking about.

-What are you talking about?
-Your paycheck.

Oh, thank God. That's what
I'm talking about, too.

But honey, even though
we're getting married,
I still wanna work.

We have always been
a two-income family.

Yes, dear, but your income
always came out of my income.

I still wanna have a career.

I don't wanna be
one of those wives
that just sits around

having lunch with the girls,
or shopping

or getting their hair done.

All right, well, you know what?

Maybe I'll try it
for a couple of weeks.

[theme song playing]

♪She was working
In a bridal shop
In Flushing, Queens

♪Till her boyfriend
Kicked her out

♪In one of those
Crushing scenes

♪What was she to do?
Where was she to go?

♪She was out on her fanny

♪So over the bridge
From Flushing
To the Sheffield's door

♪She was there to sell make-up
But the father saw more

♪She had style! She had flair!
She was there!

♪That's how she became
The Nanny

♪Who would have guessed
That the girl we described

♪Was just exactly
What the doctor prescribed?

♪Now, the father
Finds her beguiling

♪Watch out C.C.!

♪And the kids
Are actually smiling

♪Such joie de vivre

♪She's the lady in red

♪When everybody else
Is wearing tan

♪The flashy girl
From Flushing

♪The Nanny named Fran!

[music playing]

C.C., I'm going through
these wedding responses

and I see that you've only
R.S.V.P.-ed for one.

You sure you don't want
to bring a guest with you?

Well, I thought
I might go with you.

Is that inappropriate?

Well, I am marrying Fran.
I thought I might sit with her.

Of course.
You think I'm serious?

Can I catch a ride
with you guys?

Maxwell, I have two
very important things

to talk to you
about the wedding.

I say we honeymoon
in the Caribbean

and we don't leave our suite
for 36 hours.

Wow, I was thinking
kishka or potato,

but your way is good, too.

Maxwell, will you get off
this damn wedding!

We are on a deadline
for this musical.

Maybe we should just cancel it.

C.C., we have investors
we have to answer to.

I meant the wedding.

You know, C.C.,
I am a little concerned
about this whole idea

of us producing
an urban rap musical
in the first place.

We're not exactly cutting edge,
are we?

Oh, come on. Who is more
cutting edge than you?

Who is the one that thought of
putting Charles Nelson Reilly

and Rip Taylor inLove Letters

Ooh, in love!

Nanny Fine, we have work to do.

Now he may belong to you
in every other room
in this house

but in this room, he is mine!

-C.C., would you
give us a minute?
-Okay!

[music playing]

Ma, put the rosette down.

It's plaster.

You wanna scrape
your esophagus again?

Miss Fine, Mrs. Fine.

-Welcome, welcome.
-Hi.

I'm Dirk,
your wedding coordinator.

And may I say,
we are honored that
you selected us

for the Fine-Sheffield
reception.

It's truly
the wedding of the century.

Well, it took nearly
that long to happen.

Now, Dirk,
I just wanna tell you,

ours is a mixed marriage.

He's from drinkers,
we're from eaters,

so let's plan the menu
accordingly.

Oh, fun, fun, funny, fun, fun.

Now, may I suggest,
as your guests arrive

we wow them
with an ice sculpture
of the Trevi Fountain.

-Oh!
-Oh!

A fountain sounds nice,

but can they make it
out of chopped liver?

Oh, challenge,
challenge, challenge.

I love it. I love it.

Okay, now we have
over 75 hors d'oeuvres
to choose from.

Would you like to taste them,
or would you trust me--

-[both] Taste.
-Okay.

Assistant! Assistant!

Oh. [clears throat]
I'm working with a new person.
Forgive me.

Look at me, I'm like Regis
without Kathie Lee.

Ma, you know,
I have a little problem
I need to talk to you about.

Mr. Sheffield doesn't want me
to work anymore.

And the conundrum would be...

I mean, it's not as if
I'm not gonna be busy enough

performing my wifely duties

and God knows I've had that
stored up for five years.

Who's gonna have
the energy to work?

But still, I wanna feel like
I contribute something
to the marriage.

Oh, sure you will.
You're his partner in life.

You're the woman behind the man.

Help him. Support him.

Be there for him.

Never refuse him.

You get me?

Yeah, I get you.
You're talking about dinner,
right?

What else is there?

Now, would it be
too presumptuous to ask about
the releasing of the doves?

Oh, no doves.
There's no meat on them.

[music playing]

You call this a wedding menu?

Ceviche, sashimi, squid?

Who the heck is the chef,
Jules Verne?

The seating plan is a nightmare.

I've got a lord,
a lady and a countess

sitting next to a Cookie,
an Izzy, and a Schmooey.

We're back. Sammy, Yetta,

we're leaving in an hour.

So start putting on
your coats...

now.

-Uh, Fran.
-Yeah?

Before we hit the road,

I have a favor to ask of you.

Do you think Mr. Sheffield
could get my grandson
a job on Broadway?

Oh, I don't know, Sammy.

I mean, I really don't like
to interfere

in Maxwell's business.

[all] Since when?

Since I got a lot more
than six bucks an hour to lose.

Oh, he's a brilliant rapper.

A great artist.

Last December,

uh, he rapped for Puff Daddy.

Oh! A brilliant rap artist?

Oh, Ma. Ma, come here.

Did you hear that?
This is my opportunity.

Maxwell is producing
a rap musical.

It's all about violent gangs

that fight in the street
and every so often

stop to sing poignantly
about it.

Well, darling,
here's your chance.

What are you waiting for?

Now you can be the woman
behind the man.

You know where your father
would be today

if I hadn't pushed him?

Not collecting disability?

Well, Ty,
you can rest easily tonight.

Yes, I have found
the perfect star
for your rap musical.

Mm-hmm.
Oh, he's fresh off the streets,

he's talented, he's dynamic.

You can see for yourself
Tuesday night.

Have you found someone yet?

Make that Wednesday night.

Oh, God, I knew
this was a mistake
to try and do this musical.

Maxwell, you know what you need?
You need a break.

Why don't you and I
charter a yacht

and just sail down
to St. Barths.

C.C., that's where
I'm taking Fran
for our honeymoon.

Well, doesn't Miss Special
get to do everything!

Oh, Maxwell,

I have found the perfect star
for your new musical.

It's a relative of mine.

Nanny Fine,
no one wants to hear
your relative speak,

let alone sing.

Darling, you shouldn't go
worrying your pretty little head

with all our business.

No, you should be busy
planning our wedding.

Are you patronizing me?

No, no, baby.

No, of course not.

Wait a minute. Wait a minute.
Why won't you let me help you?

I mean, it's not as if
I've ever screwed up...

Okay, switching gears.

My guy Irwin
rapped with Puff Daddy.

-Really?
-That's right.

Well, he turned us down.

He didn't think
we were hip enough for him.

Oh, no, don't tell me
you bored him

with that Mary Martin trivia.

Well, a lot of people don't know
she's Larry Hagman's mother.

C.C., look,
maybe it's worth a chance.

Maybe this Irwin
has some talent.

Maxwell, our entire
professional reputation

is resting on the expertise
of a woman

who thinks
The Importance of Being Earnest

is the sequel
toErnest Scared Stupid!

Well, it's not like
we've done any better, is it?

Besides, maybe Fran
has exactly what we need.

Whoa! Now just wait a minute.

This is business
and business is my turf!

-No, I want to go with her guy.
-Okay!

Oh, are you still upset
about the wedding?

I have something
that'll cheer you up.

Single girls, gather round.

Listen, I still have a chance
with Maxwell

as long as
I am his business partner

and I am in this house
every single day.

Yes, and why should you
lose your job?

I mean, it's not as though
she's in there

with some brilliant
casting idea.

Come on.
That won't break up
your partnership.

When Yoko married John,
did that break up The Beatles?

[music playing]

Fran, I know that
this is last minute,

but can I bring a date
to the wedding?

He's really cute.

[gasps] Does he have a brother?

Force of habit.
I got to stop that.

Sure, sweetie.

-[bell dings]
-Ooh!

That's Sammy's grandson,

the future star
of your father's new musical,

thanks to me.

But I don't want to
toot my own horn.

Beep, beep.

Oh, hi, Sammy.
I didn't know you were coming.

Well, somebody
had to drive Irwin.

Well, where is he?

Hi. I'm Irwin.

Hi. I'm scared.

Do you always
dress that way to sing

or were you just audited?

I don't sing

and I don't make enough
to get audited.

What do you mean you don't sing?

Your grandfather told me
that you're a great rapper.

Oh, I'm the best, I'm the best.

You got Scotch tape,
paper, and a ribbon?

You're a gift-wrapper?

Sammy, why did you tell me
that he rapped for Puff Daddy?

Well, he did last Christmas.

Yeah. Puff likes lots of bows
and those little plastic Santas.

Who cares!

Why did you
tell your grandfather

that you wanted
to work on Broadway?

Well, I live on 8th Avenue.
I figured I could just walk.

[music playing]

[music playing]

Sammy, do you realize
that Mr. Sheffield

has one of the most important
composers on Broadway

coming here to listen
to a gift-wrapper

from Crate and Barrel?

Pottery Barn. We were first.

Look. It's not the first time
that I've screwed up.

What's he going to do?
Take back the ring? [gasps]

Give me something salty.
I'll bloat.

He'll never get this ring off.

Listen, I don't want to ruin
everything for you.

You know, maybe this is
a blessing in disguise.

I don't want to be
a gift-wrapper all my life.

Maybe I do have some talent.

My grand-daddy,
he plays the piano
and sings great.

Oh, stop,
you're making me blush.

Just let me try.

Okay, well,
what have I got to lose?

Try really hard.

♪Home, home on the range

♪Where the deer
And the antelope play

-Who's that?
-Irwin.

Miss Fine!

Oh, oh, oh, oh.

Mr. Sheffield, um, uh...

you know what,
I was just thinking.

-Rap is dead.
-What are you talking about?

It's the hottest thing
on Broadway.

Well, then it must be me
that's dead.

Now would you excuse us
a minute, please?

I want to see you in my office.

Get something salty!
Salty pretzels!

Wait till you meet the mother.

I have a very important composer
coming to this house

in less than 24 hours

expecting to meet
Puff Daddy's protege.

Well, I never said protege.

That was your embellishment.
Bye, now.

Miss Fine!

You're calling me Miss Fine?
That can't be a good thing.

Oh.

It's not. Trust me.

Why did I listen to you?

Why did I think things
were going to be different

just because we got engaged?

Well, first of all,

we are still engaged, aren't we?

Oh, now,
'Home, Home On The Range'

happens to be
a very complicated number.

That does not mean
he isn't an excellent rapper.

So why don't you
stop adding gray

to that beautiful
head of hair of yours?

He does rap?
You're not patronizing me?

No, baby.

No, I can look you straight
in the eyes and say

Irwin is one
professional wrapper.

Yes, a gift wrapper
for Crate and Barrel.

Is that true?

No, it is not.

It's Pottery Barn.
They were first.

[music playing]

Niles, have you seen
Mr. Sheffield?

Oh, I have never seen him
this angry at me before.

Well, I have, but not today.

I'm not speaking to you.

Why? What did I do to you?

You have ruined our wedding.

For five years,
I've been waiting for this day.

What am I going to say
to the other butlers
in the market?

Do you know what it's like
to be the only one in the park

with no wedding pictures
to show?

Yes, I do.

Well, don't just stand there.

I beat Miss Grace playing hoops
and I want your room.

Well, what am I supposed to do?

Turn Irwin into some kind
of a street rapper?

I don't know anything about rap.

Well, either that
or call your mother

and tell her the wedding's off.

Whuzzup, Irwin?
It's time to get bomb-biggity.

You go, girl.

[hip-hop music playing]

♪So Mr. Twister
Hit him with her
Fame's M.C.'s quicker

♪This is what I picture
When tipsy off liquor

♪Sitting thinking of a style
Like no other

♪Honk and run for cover
Dipping in my Hummer

And so.

Thank you, Blue.

Oh, excellent.
Really. Truly, excellent.

Well, I'll be getting in touch
with your, uh, posse.

No, no, no, no.

Why can't I express to you
what I'm looking for?

It's in the rhythm, Max,
the rhythm.

You see, I see things
in geometric shapes.

This is what I want.

You know, bring me this guy.

Uh, yes.

Uh, can't get him.
He's in Ragtime.

So is that it?
Is that all of them?

What about the guy
you hyped on the phone?

Well, you know,
he turned out to be a bust.

He was discovered by Maxwell's
nanny slash fiancée

slash back to nanny again.

Listen, Ty, if you can
see your way to give us
a few more days,

I know there has to be another

him in this town.

I'm sorry, Max, but, uh...

I don't think
we're on the same page.

[hip-hop music playing]

♪You can try to throw salt

♪But I keep my game face on

♪And the only thing
On your mind

♪Is stalking more digits
Than a telephone

♪Me and thirty-nine thieves

♪Jumping out of white Hummer

♪From Compton
While your crew
Get dumb and dumber

♪Grew up
Straight out of low cash
Like C.B. fo'

♪Now I got dough
And you got one night stands
Like gangsta, yo

♪See on the low
It's all gravy

♪But the threat
Of this new world order
Is about to drive me crazy

♪And all you want
Is the Lex and gold Visa

♪And bomb singles
And stacking your chips
Like Pringles

♪While my rhymes
Jack for platinum plaques

♪Quicker than one time
Jack Blacks
I twist sacks and sip yac

♪Plus the Invisible Man
Got my back like a spine

♪So why you all up in mine?

♪Keep the money and the fame
Because all I really
Want to hold

♪Is my artistic freedom
And control of my soul

Bravo.

The guy's great.
What are you saving
the best for last?

Yes, he was

because that's his style.

Slow to the point of madness

and then he proposes.

Well, Ty, why don't we
step into my office
and talk some business, huh?

-Fran, why don't you
bring Irwin along.
-Okay.

-Oh, Irwin. Irwin.
-I'm so excited.

Fran, this is so phat, Fran.

Oh, Irwin, I know that phat
is a good thing,

but please don't say it
so near to my name.

Well, Niles.

I guess I know where I stand.

Outside the door.

Well, at least it's over.

The pain.

The degradation.

The shame.

I'm frightened.

I don't want to be alone.

Well, you finally went crackers.

Yes, hello, Dr. Balk.
This is Niles.

Yes, it's about Miss Babcock.

Yes, well, I think
we have a little problem.

She's behaving
in a very strange way.

Well, I wouldn't
call it delusional.

Grandmama, is that you?

Yes, child. Maybe I would.

Come along.

[music playing]

Come on, Chester. Yes.

-Hi, Chester.
-There you go.

Hi, sweetie.

Fran, this fun.
How long do we get
to keep Chester here?

Oh, until Miss Babcock
is released...

I mean comes home.

Yeah, you mean,
from her vacation?

Uh-huh.

You know, it's really so funny.

Usually when a pet
misses its master,

it's really depressed
and walks around whimpering.

Hey.

-Frannie.
-Oh. Hi, kids.

Sammy has a niece that wants
to sing at your wedding.

Oh, I'm sorry, Sammy,

but Maxwell has a new policy.

No more relatives.

Okay, Aretha, she said no.

Aretha? Aretha?

Call her back! Call her back!

-You want her?
-Yes! Wait till Maxwell hears.

Uh, D.M.V.

Aretha Jones, please.

[music playing]

[theme music playing]

[music playing]