All language subtitles for The Nanny S04 E15

[MUSIC PLAYING]

Oh, would you
look at you?

Working like a dog
on a Saturday night.

That's why the man
pays you the big buck.

[CHUCKLES]

You know, it's nice that
you're becoming this
independent woman

who feels good
about staying at home

but could you at least
wear thigh-high boots

so I can feel good
about staying at home too.

Come on, let's watch
a real tear-jerker.

Oh, how many times can we watch
James Mason walk into the ocean?

No. This is a real
gut-wrenching,
cry-your-eyes-out time.

I taped Bryant Gumbel's goodbye
on theToday

Mmm!

[SOBS]

Oh, why did you
make me watch this?

I was just getting over
Deborah Norville.

Oh. Hmm.

Mmm.

[SIGHS]

[SNIFFLES] Hmm.

Ahh!

Well, thank you so much
for driving me home

from the party, Danielle.

Oh, the pleasure's all mine,
Maxwell.

Ah. Oh, well.

Um... oh, whew!

Look at the time.

And I've got
an early day tomorrow.

Then, um,
let's stay up all night.

Um...

Well, now, look, Danielle,
we've only just met

and the thing is,
I'm afraid I've had
a bit too much to drink.

Maxwell, you're not involved
with someone, are you?

- Yes.
- Who?

I don't know.

Well, then, um,
let's not tell her. Okay?

DANIELLE: [MOANS SOFTLY]

[MOANING CONTINUES]

Good night, Mister--

Oh, my God!

In our own home?

Ah, yes, let me--

Why don't I introduce--?

You know, I have three kids
upstairs that
you are responsible for.

There better be a good
explanation for this.

Is this the woman you're
involved with?

Hmm?
Oh, of course not.

This is my nanny.

She seems very strict.

Now, look here, honey,

we don't need some cheap floozy
in tight clothes

turning his head around.

That's what I'm here for.

Now, it's not
what it looks like.

Um, we were both
at a banker's party.

She was, um,
a guest of the host.

I had just a little teeny
martini and I--

Wait a minute.
Why am I explaining this to
you?

You're not my wife.

Ohh!

Oh...

[STAMMERS] I can't even process
that, it was so mean.

That's it. I'm going home to
my
mother.

Wait a minute.
I didn't do anything wrong.

She's coming here.

♪♪ She was working
in a bridal shop
in Flushing, Queens ♪♪

♪♪ 'Til her boyfriend
kicked her out ♪♪

♪♪ In one of those
crushing scenes ♪♪

♪♪ What was she to do?
Where was she to go? ♪♪

♪♪ She was out on her fanny ♪♪

♪♪ So over the bridge
from Flushing to the
Sheffield's door ♪♪

♪♪ She was there
to sell makeup,
but the father saw more ♪♪

♪♪ She had style!
She had flair!
She was there! ♪♪

♪♪ That's how
she became the nanny! ♪♪

♪♪ Who would have guessed that
the girl we've described ♪♪

♪♪ Was just exactly what
the doctor prescribed? ♪♪

♪♪ Now the father
finds her beguiling ♪♪

♪♪ Watch out, C.C.! ♪♪

♪♪ And the kids
are actually smiling ♪♪

♪♪ Such joie de vivre! ♪♪

♪♪ She's the lady in red ♪♪

♪♪ When everybody else
is wearing tan ♪♪

♪♪ The flashy girl
from Flushing ♪♪

♪♪ The nanny named Fran! ♪♪

Good morning, everyone, but you.

Tart, sir?

Been there. Done that.

Would you excuse us
a moment, children?

Miss Fine and I need to
discuss
something in private.

Dad, it's no big secret.

Fran was asleep on the couch.

You came home ripped
with a blond model.

Then you kissed her.
Fran snagged you.
Now you're in the dog house.

Pass the Smucker's.

How did you know?

Well, Dad, if you just
learned
to trust us like Niles does.

He tells us everything.

Come along, children.

Time to take some Kaopectate
for that verbal diarrhea.

Miss Fine, it's all
perfectly innocent.

That young lady--

Young? Ha!

Maybe the new parts.

I don't know why I'm always
having to defend myself to
you.

Hmm?
I'm a grown man.

I can come and go as I please.

I don't know who you are
anymore.

I am your boss.

You are the nanny.

And that is an end to the
discussion.

Fine. Then I'll say no more.

Thank you.

Oh, Dr. Miller, I keep seeing
him with that woman

over and over again
in my head.

I mean, if all he wanted was
a night of cheap, tawdry sex

with some floozy, well

I'm already on the payroll.

Fran, you don't really
mean that, do you?

Yes.

Oh, God, how could he
do this to me?

Fran, the problem is

you're elevating Mr.
Sheffield
to the role of a husband.

Of course, you're gonna be
jealous if he goes around
behaving like a single man.

Fran?

Are you following me?

Oh, I'm sorry, Dr. Miller.

It's just, after you put
"Mr. Sheffield" and "husband"
in the same sentence

everything else
kind of went underwater.

Don't you see?
You're responding to him as
though you're in a
relationship.

- Now, listen to me
carefully.
- Okay.

He's your boss.

You are the nanny.

Wow!

You mean, no one's ever pointed
that out to you before?

Oh, constantly.

But, you know, when you're
paying 140 bucks an hour

it's got so much more
resonance.

Niles, did my boyfriend call?

Oh, for heaven's sake,
you're almost 50.

Do you have to call him
your boyfriend?

You're just jealous
because I have a lover

and you have her.

C.C., I've got your ticket
to the Broadway Guild Awards.

Ooh, I hope there's an extra
one
because I'll need two.

Hello, Mr. Sheffield.

Oh, Miss Fine.

Well, you seem to have moved
past the unpleasantness
of the other morning.

Did you have a good
therapy session?

Oh, Mr. Sheffield,

what goes on in a therapist's
office is confidential.

You really shouldn't pry into
the private lives of others.

Oh, the newPeople.

Well, I'm glad you're
feeling
better, Miss Fine.

Oh, I am.
Dr. Miller is a genius.

He is so intelligent
and insightful.

I swear, I have never met a man
that understood me more.

Ooh-hoo, sounds to me
like someone

might have a little crush
on their therapist.

Sounds to me like someone
is a little jealous.

See what you're doing,
don't you?

You are elevating me
to the status of wife.

That's why you can't stand
to see me act like
a beautiful, single woman.

I can assure you, Miss Fine,
I'm not jealous.

- Denial.
- I'm not in denial.

Denying denial.

So, what was this breakthrough
your genius therapist brought
you to?

You are my boss

and I am your nanny.

And that is what I am paying
$140 an hour for?

I said the same thing to you
the other day.

Yes, but you said it with anger.

You really must learn
to communicate in a way
that I can absorb.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

So you gotta remember,
when the movie starts

turn up your hearing aid.

They got sound now?

- Your turn.
- Oh, yeah.

Um, I'll have a, um,
a large popcorn,

no butter, no oil, dry,
air-popped with a Diet Coke.

- Anything else?
- Yeah, a Goobers,
a large Snickers

and a nachos
with extra cheese.

Fran, you can eat all
that stuff in The Zone?

- Yeah, the Twilight Zone.
- Mmm.

Why can't I lose weight?

Maybe I should see a therapist
to help me stop eating.

You know, it's the only thing
I haven't tried besides
diet and exercise.

You know, Dr. Miller could help
you. He is an absolute genius.

I'm telling you,
he's the next Sigmund Freud.

He's an excellent doctor.
The best.

You've been to Dr. Miller?

No. Freud.

FRAN: Oh, my God.

There's Dr. Miller. There he is.

Oh, let's go over and say
hello.
Oh, no. Wait a minute.
Wait a minute.

If he asks me how I am
and I answer him,
is he gonna charge me?

Fran, look at you.
You're so nervous.

- Well, Val, we are in the
presence of genius here.
- Oh.

My only goal is that someday
I be as confident and
brilliant

and sophisticated
as that man.

You mean the one
picking his nose?

Oh, Yetta, a man as
distinguished as Dr. Miller

doesn't pick his nose-- Wow,
he's really digging up there.

Oh, my God.

You know, it must be so nice

to be so comfortable
with yourself.

What's your shrink trying to
do,
pick his own brains?

Oh, he's coming over.

- He's coming--
- Oh, Fran, what a surprise.

- Hi.
- How are you?

Have you met my friend, Val?

[MUSIC PLAYING]

Honey, what are you doing home?
Don't you have therapy now?

Oh, no. I canceled it.

You know, I think I'm very
disillusioned by Dr. Miller.

It reminds me of the time when
Mrs. Brady started dating Greg.

Adds a whole new meaning
to being busy with
three boys of your own.

Honey, what did the doctor do?

Oh, Ma, something so repulsive
and disgusting, I can't even
talk about it.

-Ma, he picked his nose
in public.
-[GASPS]

Ohh!

Some people are
so unaware about how
they look to other people.

Oh, Ma, swear that you're not
gonna tell Mr. Sheffield.

I built this guy up
to be such a genius

that I don't wanna look
like ashmegegge.

Sweetheart, you live with him.

You raise his three children
without a ring on your
finger.

You're already ashmegegge.

Ma, that is my job. I happen
to
be a child care professional.

MAGGIE: Fran?

What's that?

One of the kid's calling.

Oh! Coming.

Niles, where's my--? Never mind.

Oh, Sylvia,

if you're looking for your
daughter, she's on her way to
therapy.

No. She's upstairs.

She's not going
to that doctor anymore.

Oh, why? What happened?

Well, he did something
very inappropriate.

She doesn't want me to tell
you.
She's afraid you'll overreact.

Well, what did he do?

Let's just say he put his
hand
someplace he shouldn't have.

Oh, my God! And nobody's
gonna do anything about it?

What are you gonna do,
call the police?

They would come to arrest
every man on the subway.

Oh, look at you.

You look very '60s.

It's a Dolce & Gabbana.

Mmm, I was talking
about your face.

Oh, by the way,
this came for you.

What are all those
big creases in it?

It was stuffed
in the mailbox.

I was talking about your neck.

Oh, things are heating up
with Chandler.

- He sent me the key
to his apartment.
- Mmm!

"Dear C.C.,

you're suffocating me.
Here's your key back."

Oh, you poor thing.

No date for your big
award ceremony Saturday?

That ungrateful--
I waited on him hand and foot.

Every morning at 6:30,
I brought him a hot latte.

I called him 40 times a day to
make sure he was eating right.

How could he say
I was suffocating him?

You poor thing. I can't
imagine
anything more humiliating.

Oh, yeah? How's this?

What are you doing
Saturday night?

What makes you think
I'd be caught dead

at an award ceremony with you?

Two hundred-fifty bucks?

Pick me up at 8 and
buy yourself a corsage.

I don't wanna look chintzy.

- [KNOCKING]
- MAXWELL: Miss Fine,
are you decent?

Uh, yeah, but I can get
indecent in a minute.

I just want you to know
that what your therapist did

was reprehensible.
And I support you 100 percent.

How could Ma have told you?

I left her with so much food.

You-- Do you wanna
talk about it?

Oh, Mr. Sheffield,
it's just that I always
thought of Dr. Miller

as being so professional
with such impeccable
character.

I would have never thought
he could do anything so...

[SHUDDERS] ...disgusting.

The man should have
his license revoked.

Well, I don't know about that.

I mean, all guys need
to do it now and then.

But usually they have
the decency to wait until
they get into the car.

Excuse me. I don't mean
to be presumptuous

but you are one
of the most beautiful women

I have ever seen.

Oh, well, thanks.

Gee, you know,
you seem pretty together.

What are you doing
going to therapy?

Oh, I'm a compulsive liar.

Oh, Mr. Sheffield,
what are you doing here?

I've come to give this
doctor,
and I use the term loosely,

a piece of my mind.

More important question is,
what
are you doing here, Miss Fine?

Well, I wanted to confront him.

And I felt like you already
paid for the session,

I might as well work
through the trauma of
seeing my parents in bed.

Having sex?

No. Whitefish.

Oh, I'm next.

So, do you want me
to go in with you?

Oh, no. I really need
to learn how to handle these
situations like an adult

and not always expect you
to be there to take care of
me.

- I understand.
- Can I have a little
huggy-poo first?

You're Maxwell Sheffield,
the producer.

Well, I've seen every one of
your shows. You're brilliant.

Oh, thank you.

- So did you enjoy the movie?
- Oh, not really.

Thank God I bought a box of
boogers-- I mean, Goobers.

You, uh, seem a bit anxious.

Well, it's just that I do
have something on my mind

and I just find it
so difficult articulating

that I saw you
picking your nose.

You did?

And you found that
so offensive?

Yeah. I could vomit.

You catch me doing
something perfectly human

and now you've changed
your entire opinion

just because you saw me
with my finger in my nose?

Well, don't you see
what you're doing?

You're doing the same thing to
me as you do to Mr. Sheffield.

It is very common
for a woman to idealize
the men in her life,

hoping that she'll find one
as perfect as her father.

Oh, you're right, doctor.

A guy who sleeps all day,
wears a bad wig

and stinks of chopped liver
doesn't fall off trees.

No way are you old enough
to have a 17-year-old daughter?

Yeah, yeah, sincerely.
I'm 44-years-old.

- What?
- Yes, I am.

Oh, so how did it go?

Well, he explained that
what he did wasn't so wrong.

I mean, men are human

and he had an itch,
he had to scratch it.

That is such a crock!

Let me get in there.

What the hell do you think
you're doing to this woman?!

You should have
your license revoked!

Well, you must be looking
for Dr. Pepkin.

No. I'm looking for a doctor

who takes advantage of poor,
vulnerable patients.

Yes, that's Pepkin.

Stand back, Miss Fine.
I'm gonna teach this genius
of yours a lesson.

Mr. Sheffield, why are you
acting so macho, like an
animal?

It's good.

I'm not gonna let him take
advantage of you, Miss Fine.

Wait a minute. Does everyone in
your world react in such a way

to someone picking their nose?

You're damn right!

Excuse me a moment.

He picked his nose?

Yeah. What did you think he did?

Not that.

Where would you get that from?

What? From the same place
I get every other idiotic,
meshuganah

From you!

You're gonna drive me
into a bloody institution,
you know that?

Now, do you see how he yells
at me, makes me feel this big?

Then you wonder why
I elevate him to "husband".

Come on!

You know, can I just say you two

make the most beautiful, most
perfect couple I have ever
seen.

- Who is this guy?
- Oh, he's just--

He happens to be

one of the most well-respected
marriage counselors
in the business.

[JAZZ MUSIC PLAYS]

♪♪ Our love is here to stay ♪♪

♪♪ Not for a year ♪♪

Oh, what a night.

I don't know how I had
the presence of mind

to keep my acceptance speech
down to 30 seconds.

You didn't thank anyone.

Oh, right.

Oh, Niles, thank you
for escorting me.

You know, you're actually
almost charming

when you're not being
a mean, miserable old man.

Funny, I was gonna say
the same about you.

[HEARTY LAUGH]

You know, I'm really glad

that this little fling
between
you and Chandler is over.

- Oh?
- Yes. He was beneath you.

Not anymore.

BOTH: [SNICKERING]

Oh, I almost forgot.

Here is your... check.

This one's on me.

♪♪ Our love is here ♪♪

♪♪ To stay ♪♪

[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]