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The following programme
contains strong language,
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violence and adult humour,
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00:00:05,120 --> 00:00:06,320
from the start.
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♪ There was an old lady
who swallowed a fly. ♪
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♪ I don't know why she
swallowed a fly... ♪
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♪ Perhaps she'll die. ♪
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♪ There was an old lady who
swallowed a spider, ♪
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♪ that wriggled and jiggled
and tickled inside her... ♪
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♪ She...
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♪ ..swallowed the spider
to catch the fly... ♪
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♪ I don't know why
she swallowed a fly. ♪
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♪ Perhaps she'll die... ♪
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Woah, woah!
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Come on, let's have you.
15
00:00:48,766 --> 00:00:51,480
- Why's he got a boat?
- I have NO idea why he's got a boat.
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00:00:51,520 --> 00:00:52,720
That's the thing with Chinese Dan.
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You never know what he's got lying
around. Come on! Check this out.
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A great thick idiot
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will magically appear at the door.
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00:00:59,280 --> 00:01:00,640
- Hello.
- Y'alright Calvin?
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I got some gear for Chinese Dan
there in van...
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Your mate not with you?
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Small one, flamboyant shirt?
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Well do you see him, Calvin?
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No, so he's not here?
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He's not here. No, he's not...
27
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He's not here.
Tell him to go and get Chinese Dan.
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00:01:12,200 --> 00:01:14,079
- Get Chinese Dan.
- Go and get Chinese Dan!
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00:01:14,080 --> 00:01:15,680
- Wait there.
- Oh we'll wait there.
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00:01:15,720 --> 00:01:17,920
This isn't even bloody...
locked, dude.
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Bloody hell fire.
32
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- Dear, dear...
- Never mind dear, dear!
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Them's some good treads them, Dan.
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00:01:24,640 --> 00:01:25,719
Jesus Christ...
35
00:01:25,720 --> 00:01:26,959
He's not Chinese.
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00:01:26,960 --> 00:01:28,440
No. It's-It's a nickname.
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Are these knock off?
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00:01:29,720 --> 00:01:31,039
Yeah, ish...
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00:01:31,040 --> 00:01:32,220
What's with the boat, man?
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What? You want it?
Can't shift the bloody thing!
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I'm sick of the sight on it.
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I've no use for a boat have I Dan?
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What did you bring it up for then?!
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'Cause I was bloody curious!
45
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Curious?! Does it look like
I've got time for curious?!
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I don't buy stolen goods, Vinnie.
47
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Never. I'm an honest businessman.
48
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- That's just complete bollocks.
- But...
49
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...as a favour to you...
50
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I'll take them off your hands
for half price.
51
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Half normal price... You penis!
52
00:01:54,480 --> 00:01:55,760
Listen to him. Tell him he's a penis.
53
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He is bloody...
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...screwing me ain't he!
55
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You're a penis
and you're screwing him.
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A penis? That hurts!
57
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You're screwing him double time.
58
00:02:02,840 --> 00:02:03,680
What's going on love?
59
00:02:03,681 --> 00:02:05,460
It's me mum, Vinnie!
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00:02:05,820 --> 00:02:07,340
She's gone!
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00:02:07,900 --> 00:02:09,360
She's dead Vinnie...
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00:02:09,415 --> 00:02:11,695
- Oh... Shit! Shit! Oi, oi!
- How come you're calling me a penis?
63
00:02:11,720 --> 00:02:13,240
Go and get in that bloody van.
Get in the van.
64
00:02:13,280 --> 00:02:15,240
Do your fly up!
Your shirt's sticking out of it.
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Make sure you bring your mate
next time.
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00:02:16,720 --> 00:02:18,200
I will do. Sod off, Calvin!
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00:02:30,964 --> 00:02:32,164
Who is he?
68
00:02:32,329 --> 00:02:33,889
He's me mate, he sounds like Orville.
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00:02:34,000 --> 00:02:35,480
Who's Orville?
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00:02:35,520 --> 00:02:37,760
Green duck, wore a nappy,
sat on an old bloke's knee.
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00:02:37,800 --> 00:02:39,320
And when I was your age,
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weirdly, that were entertainment.
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Giddy, come on love!
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00:02:43,920 --> 00:02:46,080
Oh Vinnie, I've run out of tea bags.
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00:02:46,120 --> 00:02:47,280
And Mum always said to...
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00:02:47,320 --> 00:02:48,840
- ..make a pot of tea...
- Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey.
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It's alright, we'll get you some.
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We'll get you some tea bags.
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00:02:52,160 --> 00:02:53,160
- Listen to me.
- She's gone.
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Oi. When did she pass away?
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Um... about five minutes ago.
82
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Christ...
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00:02:58,160 --> 00:02:59,360
I rang you straight away.
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- Is she, uh...?
- Yeah.
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00:03:00,840 --> 00:03:02,080
Still up there? Yeah, alright...
86
00:03:02,120 --> 00:03:04,600
Oh! Your friend's very little.
87
00:03:05,100 --> 00:03:07,015
- Well, he's seven in't he?!
- Oh.
88
00:03:07,040 --> 00:03:08,040
He's a child.
89
00:03:08,080 --> 00:03:10,080
Oh, I thought he was just small.
90
00:03:10,120 --> 00:03:11,600
My cousin O'Sheen's that size
91
00:03:11,640 --> 00:03:12,960
and he's 42.
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00:03:13,000 --> 00:03:14,720
It's a genetic disorder.
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00:03:14,760 --> 00:03:16,480
Something to do with
the soil composition
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00:03:16,520 --> 00:03:17,880
in the West of Ireland.
95
00:03:17,920 --> 00:03:20,200
Christ... Do you want to come
and see the creepy house?
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00:03:20,240 --> 00:03:21,599
- Yeah.
- Get in there!
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00:03:21,600 --> 00:03:22,679
Who are all these?
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00:03:22,680 --> 00:03:24,599
These are dead folks, all these, love.
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00:03:24,600 --> 00:03:25,880
- Really?
- Yeah.
100
00:03:25,920 --> 00:03:27,080
- Even him?
- Ooh. He's new!
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00:03:27,120 --> 00:03:28,280
Giddy, sweetheart.
102
00:03:28,320 --> 00:03:30,320
- Who's that?
- Oh yeah, em...
103
00:03:30,360 --> 00:03:32,840
He got his foot infected
on holiday in Beaverlick.
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00:03:32,880 --> 00:03:33,880
Beaverlick?!
105
00:03:33,920 --> 00:03:35,040
Yeah, it's, um...
106
00:03:35,080 --> 00:03:36,960
..where they make the chicken.
What's it called?
107
00:03:37,000 --> 00:03:38,000
Eh... Kentucky.
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00:03:38,040 --> 00:03:39,480
Gor, that's not a thing dude.
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00:03:39,520 --> 00:03:40,639
Not even slightly.
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00:03:40,640 --> 00:03:42,560
- Tyler?
- Yeah?
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00:03:42,898 --> 00:03:45,199
What do you want to do?
Do you wanna stay here...
112
00:03:45,200 --> 00:03:47,559
..or do you want to check out
Gideon's dead mum?
113
00:03:47,560 --> 00:03:48,839
Will she look asleep?
114
00:03:48,840 --> 00:03:50,479
Oh yes, she's still warm!
115
00:03:50,480 --> 00:03:52,600
That's a really weird thing to say.
116
00:03:52,640 --> 00:03:53,839
Do you wanna stay here?
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What do you want to do?
118
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- I'll go in.
- Ah!
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00:03:57,120 --> 00:03:58,440
Sickness and diarrhoea!
120
00:03:58,480 --> 00:03:59,960
You're so brave dude.
121
00:04:00,498 --> 00:04:01,880
Let's have a look at her th-
122
00:04:01,920 --> 00:04:03,200
Ooh, Christ!
123
00:04:03,780 --> 00:04:05,640
- Sat up.
- Oh, I did that.
124
00:04:05,680 --> 00:04:07,279
Why has she got a brew in her hand?
125
00:04:07,280 --> 00:04:09,120
One last cuppa together.
126
00:04:09,160 --> 00:04:10,759
But you've no tea bags have yer?
127
00:04:10,760 --> 00:04:13,120
Well, no...
There's no tea in it, Vinnie.
128
00:04:13,160 --> 00:04:14,640
There's no point, she's dead!
129
00:04:14,920 --> 00:04:16,839
Just get her ankles will yer?
130
00:04:16,840 --> 00:04:18,300
Let's lie her down.
131
00:04:18,559 --> 00:04:19,599
Alright.
132
00:04:19,600 --> 00:04:22,480
- Mum, it's just Vinnie and Tyler.
- Some mime tea there.
133
00:04:24,941 --> 00:04:26,640
It's alright, sweetheart.
134
00:04:26,680 --> 00:04:28,880
Inappropriately
going under the covers to...
135
00:04:28,920 --> 00:04:30,040
.. just...
136
00:04:30,080 --> 00:04:31,600
Oh, fuck!
137
00:04:31,640 --> 00:04:33,600
Fuck me, man.
138
00:04:33,640 --> 00:04:34,879
Why... is the cat...?
139
00:04:34,880 --> 00:04:36,840
One last stroke of Mr Mittens.
140
00:04:36,880 --> 00:04:38,160
Did he die too?
141
00:04:39,186 --> 00:04:40,906
Ages ago.
142
00:04:40,931 --> 00:04:42,851
We're gonna need an undertaker,
y'know?
143
00:04:43,000 --> 00:04:44,679
Do you know an undertaker?
144
00:04:44,680 --> 00:04:46,040
I'm seven.
145
00:04:53,720 --> 00:04:54,760
Once!
146
00:04:54,800 --> 00:04:55,960
It's not ping ping fuckin' ping!
147
00:04:56,000 --> 00:04:57,240
It's not a children's toy!
148
00:04:57,280 --> 00:04:58,640
I swear to God, people see a bell
149
00:04:58,680 --> 00:05:00,720
and they're fuckin' three again!
They regress.
150
00:05:00,760 --> 00:05:02,480
Would you like a fuckin' rusk
in your mouth?
151
00:05:02,520 --> 00:05:04,320
Are you wearing
a fuckin' trainer nappy? No!
152
00:05:04,360 --> 00:05:05,560
You don't have rusks at three.
153
00:05:05,600 --> 00:05:07,880
Well, I wouldn't know, 'cause I
don't have any children, do I?
154
00:05:07,920 --> 00:05:09,880
And nor do I want any,
the baldy little dribbling fucks.
155
00:05:09,920 --> 00:05:10,880
What do you want?
156
00:05:10,881 --> 00:05:12,640
- Vinnie sent us.
- What now?
157
00:05:12,680 --> 00:05:14,920
- Well, somebody's sort of dead...
- Yeah...
158
00:05:14,960 --> 00:05:16,080
Ah, for fuck's-
159
00:05:16,120 --> 00:05:17,479
I'm having me lunch!
160
00:05:17,480 --> 00:05:19,799
You can tell him,
I'm not doing ANYTHING...
161
00:05:19,800 --> 00:05:21,660
..until I've finished my rarebit.
162
00:05:22,400 --> 00:05:23,400
That's cheese on toast.
163
00:05:23,440 --> 00:05:25,600
It's fucking rarebit!
164
00:05:26,644 --> 00:05:28,120
Cheese on toast.
165
00:05:28,520 --> 00:05:29,520
Sluts!
166
00:05:32,148 --> 00:05:33,680
Uh, girls...
167
00:05:33,720 --> 00:05:35,120
Avoiding us, Tommo?
168
00:05:35,160 --> 00:05:36,880
Aww, no, girls...
169
00:05:36,920 --> 00:05:38,800
Hey, why would I be avoiding you, eh?
170
00:05:38,840 --> 00:05:40,080
Because you owe us two months pay.
171
00:05:40,120 --> 00:05:41,440
- We want our money.
- Ah, huh...
172
00:05:41,480 --> 00:05:43,800
Girls, look, you've got it
all wrong, haven't yer?
173
00:05:43,840 --> 00:05:45,720
The reason I was popping in there,
174
00:05:45,760 --> 00:05:47,320
is to get you your money.
175
00:05:47,360 --> 00:05:49,200
- Yeah...
- So, if you'll just let me go,
176
00:05:49,240 --> 00:05:50,440
for one second...
177
00:05:52,680 --> 00:05:55,400
See? Not bad, in't it, eh?
178
00:05:55,440 --> 00:05:57,240
- Help me!
- Get him!
179
00:05:57,280 --> 00:05:58,280
Rape!
180
00:06:01,040 --> 00:06:02,040
Get in!
181
00:06:03,320 --> 00:06:04,480
Ah! What the fuck?!
182
00:06:04,520 --> 00:06:06,160
- Why the fuck's Tommo running?
- Get over!
183
00:06:06,200 --> 00:06:07,480
Tommo, get in the back! Get over!
184
00:06:07,520 --> 00:06:09,640
- Hurry up!
- Go on!
185
00:06:09,680 --> 00:06:12,200
- Where's our money?!
- What's wrong with you?
186
00:06:13,280 --> 00:06:15,240
Tommo, what have you done
to those girls?
187
00:06:15,280 --> 00:06:17,960
I will kill you if it's got
anything to do with the club, Tommo!
188
00:06:25,200 --> 00:06:26,760
Why don't you just pay 'em?
189
00:06:26,800 --> 00:06:28,720
Yeah, great question,
Co-assistant Manager.
190
00:06:28,760 --> 00:06:30,480
"Why I don't just pay 'em?"
Maybe it's because...
191
00:06:30,520 --> 00:06:32,200
- ..I haven't got any fucking money!
- Move.
192
00:06:32,240 --> 00:06:34,520
And aside from
a few thousand ecstasy tablets,
193
00:06:34,560 --> 00:06:35,560
which I can't shift because
194
00:06:35,615 --> 00:06:37,615
Carl Slater's breathing down me
fuckin' neck,
195
00:06:37,640 --> 00:06:38,959
I've got zero collateral.
196
00:06:38,960 --> 00:06:40,280
I'll take a pill off you.
197
00:06:41,415 --> 00:06:43,000
- One pill?
- Well, alright, two.
198
00:06:43,040 --> 00:06:44,480
So I'll get one for Cardi.
199
00:06:44,520 --> 00:06:45,640
Right. Hallelujah!
200
00:06:45,680 --> 00:06:47,320
All me cash flow problems are sorted.
201
00:06:47,367 --> 00:06:48,687
Do you want the sale or not?
202
00:06:54,600 --> 00:06:56,040
- Hello?
- She has to be buried.
203
00:06:56,080 --> 00:06:57,320
She-she hated fire.
204
00:06:57,360 --> 00:06:59,040
Even on holiday,
she'd lie under a towel...
205
00:06:59,080 --> 00:07:00,560
- Calm down a bit.
- We got some funny looks
206
00:07:00,600 --> 00:07:02,200
when we were in Turin.
She loved hymns!
207
00:07:02,240 --> 00:07:03,680
All Things Bright and Beautiful.
208
00:07:03,728 --> 00:07:05,928
And what's the one about
the shell suit? How did that go?
209
00:07:05,967 --> 00:07:10,607
♪ Ooooohhhhh, ooooohhhhh, oooohhh...
210
00:07:10,640 --> 00:07:12,160
♪ Yer nana in a shell suit. ♪
211
00:07:12,200 --> 00:07:13,440
"Ding Dong Merrily on High!"
212
00:07:13,480 --> 00:07:14,960
Hosanna in excelsis.
213
00:07:15,000 --> 00:07:16,160
Not your nana in a shell suit.
214
00:07:16,200 --> 00:07:17,640
I don't think it matters
though, does it?
215
00:07:17,680 --> 00:07:18,960
Matters to Gloria Hosanna.
216
00:07:19,000 --> 00:07:20,400
She's hailed for her glory to God,
217
00:07:20,440 --> 00:07:22,120
not... 80s attire!
218
00:07:22,160 --> 00:07:23,320
Isn't that a Christmas song?
219
00:07:23,345 --> 00:07:25,465
It is. Well, yeah, it is a
Christmas song. Do you want it?
220
00:07:25,528 --> 00:07:27,728
Yes, please. I'd like that,
"All Things Bright and Beautiful",
221
00:07:27,768 --> 00:07:29,319
and "Living in a Box"
by Living in a Box.
222
00:07:29,320 --> 00:07:32,040
Giddy? Calm yourself a little bit now.
223
00:07:32,080 --> 00:07:34,400
- Sorry. I am upset Vinnie.
- It's alright.
224
00:07:34,440 --> 00:07:36,040
- Go and make a cup of tea or something.
- Ooh, yes.
225
00:07:36,080 --> 00:07:37,080
Just calm down a little bit.
226
00:07:37,120 --> 00:07:38,800
- Is that the tea bags there?
- Yeah. - Aww, thank you.
227
00:07:38,840 --> 00:07:40,640
Go and sort that out.
Do you want to go and help Giddy?
228
00:07:40,680 --> 00:07:42,280
OK. What a good lad.
229
00:07:42,320 --> 00:07:43,720
Look, I promised his mam,
230
00:07:43,760 --> 00:07:45,360
I'd take care of him
once she'd passed.
231
00:07:45,400 --> 00:07:46,480
He's like a little lad!
232
00:07:46,520 --> 00:07:48,119
He's never done anything for
himself...
233
00:07:48,120 --> 00:07:50,760
if you're looking for a free funeral,
you can go fuck yourself.
234
00:07:50,800 --> 00:07:52,160
No way, nada, nein, nicht.
235
00:07:52,200 --> 00:07:54,360
Stop fucking me in German for a
minute! What about mate's rates?
236
00:07:54,400 --> 00:07:56,240
- What mate?
- Me, you dickhead!
237
00:07:56,280 --> 00:07:57,680
Oh, let me think about that
for a second.
238
00:07:57,720 --> 00:07:58,760
Eh... No!
239
00:07:58,800 --> 00:08:00,640
His fuckin' mum's died!
240
00:08:00,680 --> 00:08:01,880
He's got nothing and no one.
241
00:08:01,920 --> 00:08:04,040
She's the only person
that ever cared for him.
242
00:08:04,080 --> 00:08:05,800
Have you SEEN the price of coffins?!
243
00:08:05,840 --> 00:08:07,160
Oh fuck, you are horrible. Tight that!
244
00:08:07,200 --> 00:08:08,840
- Shocking.
- That's really mean. Oh that's right!
245
00:08:08,880 --> 00:08:11,040
That's right, guilt trip me.
It's all my fault!
246
00:08:11,080 --> 00:08:12,920
I've got cystitis and a bunion
on my right foot
247
00:08:12,960 --> 00:08:14,600
but you don't see anyone
crying for me!
248
00:08:14,640 --> 00:08:15,920
They are painful.
249
00:08:15,960 --> 00:08:18,000
- Which?
- Both.
250
00:08:18,040 --> 00:08:19,440
I know none of you know him.
251
00:08:19,480 --> 00:08:20,720
Alright? I get it.
252
00:08:20,760 --> 00:08:22,120
But I fucking do.
253
00:08:22,160 --> 00:08:24,520
I care about him.
I feel responsible for him.
254
00:08:24,560 --> 00:08:25,840
Help me or don't help me,
255
00:08:25,880 --> 00:08:27,200
I'm burying his mam with dignity.
256
00:08:27,240 --> 00:08:29,759
- Oh, for God's sake! Fine. FINE!
- Fuck me...
257
00:08:29,760 --> 00:08:31,320
Let me tell you what I can do.
258
00:08:31,480 --> 00:08:33,220
There was a couple in last week,
259
00:08:33,520 --> 00:08:34,520
the Kennerleys...
260
00:08:34,560 --> 00:08:36,000
Brian and Maureen...
261
00:08:36,040 --> 00:08:37,480
Christ! Once!
262
00:08:37,520 --> 00:08:39,040
Ping ping fuckin' ping...
263
00:08:39,080 --> 00:08:40,280
Let me tell you, this pair...
264
00:08:40,320 --> 00:08:43,360
..won "Cunt Couple of the Year"
competition... five years running.
265
00:08:43,400 --> 00:08:44,599
Is that a thing?
266
00:08:44,600 --> 00:08:46,900
We need... gold.
267
00:08:47,280 --> 00:08:49,800
Gold trim, gold handles...
268
00:08:49,840 --> 00:08:51,020
..and mahogany.
269
00:08:51,240 --> 00:08:52,940
The finest mahogany...
270
00:08:53,160 --> 00:08:55,180
..known to humanity.
271
00:08:55,580 --> 00:08:56,460
Oi!
272
00:08:56,980 --> 00:08:58,340
Are you listening?
273
00:08:58,720 --> 00:09:00,020
Yes, I'm listening.
274
00:09:00,480 --> 00:09:01,580
It's the eye.
275
00:09:02,180 --> 00:09:03,799
Looks like you're not listening.
276
00:09:03,800 --> 00:09:05,560
It gives me the creeps.
277
00:09:05,600 --> 00:09:06,680
He was looking at me, Brian was,
278
00:09:06,720 --> 00:09:07,760
going on about the eye,
279
00:09:07,800 --> 00:09:09,320
pointing it out, all morning!
280
00:09:09,360 --> 00:09:10,640
- It's not funny!
- It's not...
281
00:09:10,680 --> 00:09:12,840
He was calling me Gar-eye
by the end! Asking me to do things.
282
00:09:12,880 --> 00:09:14,720
Do this, Gar-eye. Do that, Gar-eye!
283
00:09:14,760 --> 00:09:16,720
Raging I was with him! RAGING!
284
00:09:17,445 --> 00:09:18,960
Anyway it went on like that
285
00:09:19,000 --> 00:09:20,720
til we buried his mother bitch
in the ground.
286
00:09:20,760 --> 00:09:22,840
- And I am not a spiteful man...
- Oh, fuck off!
287
00:09:22,880 --> 00:09:24,320
You're horrible.
You're a horrible man.
288
00:09:24,360 --> 00:09:25,800
Alright, I'm a little bit spiteful,
289
00:09:25,840 --> 00:09:27,480
but they were RUDE, Vin!
290
00:09:27,520 --> 00:09:28,600
Hurtful!
291
00:09:29,720 --> 00:09:31,280
And that coffin is too good
292
00:09:31,320 --> 00:09:33,440
for any cunt that pushed that cunt
out of her cunt!
293
00:09:33,480 --> 00:09:34,760
Tea's up everybody.
294
00:09:34,800 --> 00:09:35,840
Oh, brilliant!
295
00:09:36,840 --> 00:09:38,040
Fuck me!
296
00:09:55,920 --> 00:09:56,920
Oww!
297
00:10:00,160 --> 00:10:02,240
All sorted. No one's getting in now.
298
00:10:06,480 --> 00:10:09,200
I tell you what, I'm just feeling
a bit anxious about all of this.
299
00:10:09,240 --> 00:10:10,600
I've just been in the nick
300
00:10:10,640 --> 00:10:12,360
for "preventing a lawful burial"
301
00:10:12,400 --> 00:10:14,239
and now I'm pissing about in here
with Beth-
302
00:10:14,240 --> 00:10:15,840
God, she looks boring doesn't she?
303
00:10:15,880 --> 00:10:17,599
It's Gideon that's in need
of the coffin.
304
00:10:17,600 --> 00:10:18,880
I'm just asking...
305
00:10:18,920 --> 00:10:20,880
Is there not another way,
is all I am saying?
306
00:10:20,920 --> 00:10:22,040
What are you talking about?
307
00:10:22,080 --> 00:10:23,640
You want a coffin, I want revenge.
308
00:10:23,680 --> 00:10:25,119
It's win-win. Oh...
309
00:10:25,120 --> 00:10:27,360
Alright then.
But I just want to say a few words.
310
00:10:27,400 --> 00:10:28,840
Bit of dignity
before she goes in the oven.
311
00:10:28,880 --> 00:10:30,000
She's dead. She's had her words.
312
00:10:30,040 --> 00:10:32,600
For fuck's sake, Gary, you maniac!
313
00:10:32,640 --> 00:10:34,080
You're desensitized, you!
314
00:10:34,120 --> 00:10:36,160
Do you know that...
these are all people?
315
00:10:36,200 --> 00:10:38,480
They were children.
All of them, at some stage.
316
00:10:38,520 --> 00:10:40,480
She was cradled in her mother's arms-
317
00:10:40,520 --> 00:10:41,880
And now she's dead, in the ground.
318
00:10:41,920 --> 00:10:43,200
Dig the fuckin' earth!
319
00:10:45,480 --> 00:10:47,000
It's funny being dead, in't it?
320
00:10:47,040 --> 00:10:48,680
All that shit
everyone worries about, you know-
321
00:10:48,720 --> 00:10:51,280
Oh no, I've missed me deadline!
322
00:10:51,320 --> 00:10:53,560
Oh no, I've hurt their feelings!
323
00:10:53,600 --> 00:10:55,520
Oh no, I've been to visit my
elderly neighbour,
324
00:10:55,560 --> 00:10:57,720
and ended up road hoggin' her
in front of Countdown...
325
00:10:59,755 --> 00:11:01,199
When you're down there,
326
00:11:01,200 --> 00:11:02,480
none of it fuckin' matters.
327
00:11:02,520 --> 00:11:03,800
Woah, woah, woah!
328
00:11:03,840 --> 00:11:05,280
You'll damage the coffin!
329
00:11:05,320 --> 00:11:06,880
Let's get in and do the rest by hand.
330
00:11:06,920 --> 00:11:08,800
Go on, Ashley! Get in there, love.
331
00:11:08,840 --> 00:11:10,160
Go on, Dildo...
332
00:11:10,200 --> 00:11:11,760
There we go, lad.
333
00:11:15,080 --> 00:11:16,480
Yeah, mind! Mind!
334
00:11:18,640 --> 00:11:21,000
Have I told you I've taken up magic?
335
00:11:21,040 --> 00:11:22,880
No, but now is the perfect time.
336
00:11:22,920 --> 00:11:24,600
Yeah, I've been learning it
on YouTube.
337
00:11:24,640 --> 00:11:26,520
Magic her alive and maybe
she could dig herself out...
338
00:11:26,560 --> 00:11:27,960
Oh, oh, d'you know,
339
00:11:28,000 --> 00:11:30,520
I'm-I'm getting pretty good. Carol
reckons I could earn a living at it.
340
00:11:30,560 --> 00:11:32,200
Do you want to
shut the fuck up about magic?
341
00:11:32,240 --> 00:11:33,600
- I think we are there now.
- Hey, just...
342
00:11:33,640 --> 00:11:35,240
..pull top layer off. Come on.
343
00:11:37,000 --> 00:11:38,160
- Looks good, that!
- Yeah.
344
00:11:38,200 --> 00:11:40,720
- That's a beauty that. Look at that!
- Right, right. Shift, shift, shift!
345
00:11:40,760 --> 00:11:42,840
- I'm gonna lift off the lid.
- Wait, what do you mean open the lid?
346
00:11:42,880 --> 00:11:44,560
Why are you talking about
lifting the lid for?
347
00:11:44,600 --> 00:11:45,639
To get her out.
348
00:11:45,640 --> 00:11:47,000
Was I unclear about that?
349
00:11:47,040 --> 00:11:48,640
Yeah, you fuckin' were!
350
00:11:48,680 --> 00:11:50,400
How do you think
we're gonna get a giant coffin
351
00:11:50,440 --> 00:11:51,520
out of a tiny hole?
352
00:11:51,560 --> 00:11:53,200
You have to up end and push!
353
00:11:53,240 --> 00:11:54,960
You wouldn't move a chest of drawers
354
00:11:55,000 --> 00:11:56,600
with the contents inside,
now would ya?
355
00:11:56,640 --> 00:11:57,840
Fair point. No flipping way, mate.
356
00:11:57,880 --> 00:11:58,880
You can count me out.
357
00:11:58,920 --> 00:12:01,319
It's disgusting! It's bloody immoral
and it's degrading!
358
00:12:01,320 --> 00:12:03,039
Oh by the way, to get my own back...
359
00:12:03,040 --> 00:12:04,680
I buried her in...
360
00:12:04,720 --> 00:12:06,400
..tights and suspenders.
361
00:12:06,440 --> 00:12:08,880
Oh! Ooh!
362
00:12:09,960 --> 00:12:11,520
For fuck sake Gary...
363
00:12:11,560 --> 00:12:12,720
Is it just me...
364
00:12:12,760 --> 00:12:14,440
- ..or is that still quite erotic?
- Fuck off, Tommo!
365
00:12:14,480 --> 00:12:16,960
Hang about, just because I'm in
touch with my experimental side..
366
00:12:17,000 --> 00:12:18,240
Can we just get on with this?
367
00:12:18,280 --> 00:12:19,840
Dude, I think I'm gonna fuckin' puke.
368
00:12:19,880 --> 00:12:21,760
Right, one of you two needs to
climb up there
369
00:12:21,800 --> 00:12:22,920
- and help us at the top.
- I'll go.
370
00:12:22,960 --> 00:12:24,320
That's a bad choice.
371
00:12:24,360 --> 00:12:25,920
Right, 1, 2, 3...
372
00:12:25,960 --> 00:12:28,160
Careful lads. Care-Careful!
Up. Up. Up.
373
00:12:28,200 --> 00:12:29,360
I'm not sure I've got him...
374
00:12:30,240 --> 00:12:31,880
Oh! Oh!
375
00:12:33,680 --> 00:12:35,640
You have crushed her entire body!
376
00:12:35,680 --> 00:12:38,240
Dude, I think one of her boobs
just popped...
377
00:12:38,280 --> 00:12:39,400
Oh Cardi...
378
00:12:39,440 --> 00:12:41,640
That is a fucking nightmare, man!
379
00:12:41,680 --> 00:12:43,120
She's fucking stiff!
380
00:12:43,160 --> 00:12:44,280
She's not the only one.
381
00:12:45,027 --> 00:12:46,440
You get out.
382
00:12:46,740 --> 00:12:47,740
NOW!
383
00:12:50,140 --> 00:12:51,480
Do you not take her shoes off?
384
00:12:51,520 --> 00:12:54,080
No, she had the most disgusting
trotters I have ever seen.
385
00:12:54,120 --> 00:12:55,360
Right. There you go.
386
00:12:55,400 --> 00:12:57,440
Go ahead, say your words.
387
00:12:57,480 --> 00:12:58,880
- Like that?
- No.
388
00:12:58,920 --> 00:13:00,520
- It is like that, dickhead.
- No, it's not.
389
00:13:00,560 --> 00:13:01,560
It is like that!
390
00:13:01,600 --> 00:13:03,200
Go on, say your words.
391
00:13:03,420 --> 00:13:04,840
Beth, listen love...
392
00:13:06,680 --> 00:13:08,320
I'm sure...
393
00:13:09,276 --> 00:13:12,116
..that when you were on this earth,
you were a good...
394
00:13:12,320 --> 00:13:13,760
mother and good wife-
395
00:13:13,800 --> 00:13:15,720
What are you doing, you dickhead?
Why've you done that?!
396
00:13:15,760 --> 00:13:17,280
Come on, why don't we have a brew?
397
00:13:17,320 --> 00:13:19,760
I haven't finished what I was
saying! Gary, you've ruined-
398
00:13:19,800 --> 00:13:21,720
I'm sorry for nicking
yer coffin, love.
399
00:13:21,760 --> 00:13:22,840
For fuck's sake...
400
00:13:22,880 --> 00:13:24,640
♪ Shakedown
401
00:13:24,680 --> 00:13:27,240
♪ Dreams walking in broad daylight ♪
402
00:13:29,160 --> 00:13:31,000
- Don't you want some of this?
- No, ta.
403
00:13:32,280 --> 00:13:34,200
- ♪ Burning down the house ♪
- Giddy!
404
00:13:34,240 --> 00:13:35,680
P-pick a card. Any card.
405
00:13:35,720 --> 00:13:36,960
- OK.
- Got one?
406
00:13:37,000 --> 00:13:38,440
Right, don't show me.
407
00:13:38,480 --> 00:13:39,840
- Yeah, OK.
- Put it back.
408
00:13:39,880 --> 00:13:41,320
Anywhere... anywhere you like...
409
00:13:41,360 --> 00:13:42,680
- OK.
- Back in?
410
00:13:42,720 --> 00:13:44,399
- It's back in there.
- Right, OK.
411
00:13:44,400 --> 00:13:46,280
Alright, just... now, just...
412
00:13:46,320 --> 00:13:48,800
On three, just snap your fingers
near the deck.
413
00:13:48,840 --> 00:13:49,720
Alright?
414
00:13:49,721 --> 00:13:51,679
One, two...
415
00:13:51,680 --> 00:13:52,959
- Three!
- Woah!
416
00:13:52,960 --> 00:13:54,200
Is that your card?
417
00:13:54,240 --> 00:13:55,180
Six of diamonds?
418
00:13:55,580 --> 00:13:56,980
Yes...
419
00:13:57,540 --> 00:13:59,040
Magician! That's it.
420
00:13:59,080 --> 00:14:00,200
That's a class act.
421
00:14:00,240 --> 00:14:01,520
And for my next trick...
422
00:14:01,560 --> 00:14:03,320
Get away... Aww...
423
00:14:03,360 --> 00:14:04,640
Magic!
424
00:14:04,680 --> 00:14:06,000
Vinnie, I...
425
00:14:06,040 --> 00:14:08,200
I think I look plump in this suit.
426
00:14:08,240 --> 00:14:09,240
Yeah, you do. I mean, yeah.
427
00:14:09,280 --> 00:14:11,000
You look plump in
fuckin' everythin' don't you?
428
00:14:11,040 --> 00:14:13,000
You're plump!
429
00:14:13,040 --> 00:14:14,640
I think it's cool, man.
430
00:14:14,680 --> 00:14:15,960
Very sharp.
431
00:14:16,140 --> 00:14:17,760
Come here, sweetheart. Put that on.
432
00:14:17,800 --> 00:14:18,840
It's bloody freezin'.
433
00:14:18,880 --> 00:14:21,040
Thanks. There's a good lad.
434
00:14:21,080 --> 00:14:23,040
You-You're a good friend, Vinnie.
435
00:14:24,080 --> 00:14:25,280
Thank you.
436
00:14:25,320 --> 00:14:27,759
What are you thanking me for?
Of course I'm your friend!
437
00:14:27,760 --> 00:14:29,440
I told your mum I'd look after you.
438
00:14:29,480 --> 00:14:30,960
That's exactly what I'm gonna do.
439
00:14:31,000 --> 00:14:32,880
Well, you're a credit to your mum.
440
00:14:32,920 --> 00:14:34,480
She-she brought you up well.
441
00:14:34,520 --> 00:14:35,640
Maybe.
442
00:14:36,528 --> 00:14:38,200
Boys need their mums, don't they?
443
00:14:38,240 --> 00:14:40,080
Tha-That's what my mum used to say.
444
00:14:40,120 --> 00:14:40,940
Yeah...
445
00:14:41,260 --> 00:14:43,320
I reckon you're definitely right
with that one, Giddy.
446
00:14:43,360 --> 00:14:44,600
Christ...
447
00:14:44,640 --> 00:14:45,640
Ow! Oww!
448
00:14:45,680 --> 00:14:46,960
Ooh you fuckers!
449
00:14:47,000 --> 00:14:48,000
Hey! Owww!
450
00:14:48,040 --> 00:14:49,160
Dude, I'm sorry!
451
00:14:49,200 --> 00:14:51,320
I said I am fucking sorry...
452
00:14:51,360 --> 00:14:52,640
Ash stop it. Stop. Stop.
453
00:14:52,680 --> 00:14:53,840
Stop! The pair of yer.
454
00:14:53,880 --> 00:14:54,919
What the fuck's going on?
455
00:14:54,920 --> 00:14:56,740
He handcuffed us together.
456
00:14:57,220 --> 00:14:58,860
What've you done that for?
457
00:14:59,500 --> 00:15:01,320
- Magic!
- Fucking magic?
458
00:15:01,360 --> 00:15:02,960
- He's swallowed the key.
- Have yer?
459
00:15:03,000 --> 00:15:04,919
I was supposed to hold it
under my tongue.
460
00:15:04,920 --> 00:15:06,340
Have you got a spare one?
461
00:15:06,700 --> 00:15:08,680
- Not on me.
- Why do you keep saying "not on me"?
462
00:15:08,720 --> 00:15:10,200
- You don't HAVE a spare one!
- Oww!
463
00:15:10,240 --> 00:15:11,920
You either have one or you don't!
Stop it!
464
00:15:11,960 --> 00:15:13,560
Stop it. Stop it.
465
00:15:13,600 --> 00:15:14,520
Christ...
466
00:15:14,521 --> 00:15:16,320
Listen, you are going to
have to fucking go.
467
00:15:16,360 --> 00:15:17,479
It's a funeral!
468
00:15:17,480 --> 00:15:19,500
You look like you're on
day release, lads.
469
00:15:19,820 --> 00:15:21,280
Behave yourselves!
470
00:15:21,320 --> 00:15:21,980
Hey.
471
00:15:22,220 --> 00:15:24,360
We will.
It was my favourite trick as well.
472
00:15:24,400 --> 00:15:26,880
You've upset him there.
You have bloody upset him.
473
00:15:26,920 --> 00:15:28,000
- Dylan!
- What?
474
00:15:28,040 --> 00:15:29,439
Why are you letting them do magic?
475
00:15:29,440 --> 00:15:31,200
Do you know what I mean?
476
00:15:31,640 --> 00:15:33,380
It's always my fault in't it?
477
00:15:43,000 --> 00:15:45,660
♪ Oh she may be weary
478
00:15:47,660 --> 00:15:51,280
♪ And them young girls
♪ they sure get weary
479
00:15:51,920 --> 00:15:55,720
♪ Wearing that same old
480
00:15:55,760 --> 00:15:59,200
♪ Ragged dress, yeah ♪
481
00:16:03,480 --> 00:16:07,060
♪ But when they get weary
482
00:16:08,520 --> 00:16:13,400
♪ Try a little tenderness ♪
483
00:16:18,840 --> 00:16:21,820
♪ You might not believe it, but...
484
00:16:23,560 --> 00:16:26,340
♪ You know, she's waiting
485
00:16:28,080 --> 00:16:30,660
♪ Just anticipating... ♪
486
00:16:31,680 --> 00:16:35,160
♪ All things bright and beautiful,
487
00:16:35,207 --> 00:16:39,247
♪ All creatures great and small,
488
00:16:39,600 --> 00:16:43,240
♪ All things wise and wonderful,
489
00:16:43,280 --> 00:16:46,080
♪ The Lord God made them all. ♪
490
00:16:46,120 --> 00:16:47,320
Go on, Giddy! Give us a song!
491
00:16:47,360 --> 00:16:51,360
♪ The Lord is always listening,
492
00:16:51,400 --> 00:16:55,520
♪ To give us what we need,
493
00:16:55,560 --> 00:16:59,600
♪ Like when I've run out of tea bags
494
00:16:59,640 --> 00:17:02,440
♪ And Vinnie needs some weed... ♪
495
00:17:02,480 --> 00:17:03,960
Yeah!
496
00:17:04,000 --> 00:17:06,800
OK, this is the, uh,
the main bar area.
497
00:17:06,840 --> 00:17:08,080
And at the back there
498
00:17:08,120 --> 00:17:09,320
is the staff quarters.
499
00:17:17,005 --> 00:17:19,360
Uh, these-these are the numbers
500
00:17:19,400 --> 00:17:21,200
from the books this year so far.
501
00:17:21,240 --> 00:17:24,560
As you can see, obviously, 'cause of
the current climate...
502
00:17:24,600 --> 00:17:27,280
We commit Gideon's mum to the ground.
503
00:17:28,253 --> 00:17:29,580
Earth to earth.
504
00:17:29,960 --> 00:17:31,620
Ashes to ashes.
505
00:17:32,040 --> 00:17:33,400
Dust to dust.
506
00:17:34,440 --> 00:17:36,640
Bye, Mum...
507
00:17:41,440 --> 00:17:42,440
Jesus, Cardi...
508
00:17:45,840 --> 00:17:47,160
D'you think I made it worse?
509
00:17:47,200 --> 00:17:49,560
Hit it in the middle
of the plastic bit...
510
00:17:51,900 --> 00:17:53,720
Never pay to have it sucked again.
511
00:17:53,760 --> 00:17:55,840
The AutoBlow 2, Titan edition...
512
00:17:55,880 --> 00:17:57,360
Me-Me mum's just died.
513
00:17:57,400 --> 00:17:59,120
Well, you'll need it all the more
then, won't yer?!
514
00:17:59,160 --> 00:18:01,720
Motty will you fuck off
with your blowjob machine?!
515
00:18:01,760 --> 00:18:03,400
Fucking Autoblow 2.
516
00:18:03,440 --> 00:18:04,760
Have you improved it on the last one?
517
00:18:04,800 --> 00:18:06,200
Well, the first one snagged,
didn't it?!
518
00:18:06,240 --> 00:18:07,919
You are never gonna sell that, love.
519
00:18:07,920 --> 00:18:09,520
Thanks for all this, Vinnie.
520
00:18:09,560 --> 00:18:11,000
Eh, can I buy you a drink?
521
00:18:11,040 --> 00:18:12,080
Nah, you don't have to do that.
522
00:18:12,120 --> 00:18:13,660
Oh please... I-I insist.
523
00:18:14,500 --> 00:18:15,980
Sod it. Go on then.
524
00:18:16,260 --> 00:18:17,279
Pint of lager.
525
00:18:17,280 --> 00:18:18,840
Eh, pint of lager please Dylan
526
00:18:18,880 --> 00:18:20,560
and whatever your having mate...
527
00:18:20,600 --> 00:18:22,120
Where is me wallet now?
528
00:18:22,260 --> 00:18:24,160
Oh, there's so many pockets in here.
529
00:18:24,200 --> 00:18:26,040
Can I give you a hand there?
530
00:18:26,080 --> 00:18:27,080
Vinnie!
531
00:18:27,120 --> 00:18:28,600
It'll be down here...
532
00:18:28,640 --> 00:18:29,680
Vinnie that's rude!
533
00:18:31,400 --> 00:18:33,040
Oh Vinnie... that...
534
00:18:33,367 --> 00:18:34,767
That's mum's handwriting.
535
00:18:34,800 --> 00:18:35,800
- Is it?
- Yeah.
536
00:18:35,840 --> 00:18:36,680
Yeah?
537
00:18:36,681 --> 00:18:38,280
Well that might be a bloody note!
538
00:18:38,320 --> 00:18:40,200
What does it say?
What does she mean? What does-?
539
00:18:40,240 --> 00:18:41,679
Chill out, let's have a look.
540
00:18:41,680 --> 00:18:43,080
Oh, looksee...
541
00:18:43,120 --> 00:18:45,319
"For when I'm gone."
542
00:18:45,320 --> 00:18:48,200
Vinnie, do you think she wrote it
from beyond the grave?!
543
00:18:48,240 --> 00:18:50,080
Do I?! Bloody hell, you lunatic.
544
00:18:50,120 --> 00:18:51,560
She has wrote you a little letter,
545
00:18:51,600 --> 00:18:53,200
and snuck it in there so you'd find it
546
00:18:53,240 --> 00:18:54,480
- once she's passed away.
- Ah...
547
00:18:54,520 --> 00:18:55,520
That makes more sense.
548
00:18:55,560 --> 00:18:56,760
- It does, dun't it?
- Yeah.
549
00:18:56,800 --> 00:18:58,240
- There you go then, come on.
- Oh, no.
550
00:18:58,280 --> 00:19:00,280
- Can you open it?
- Oh, Giddy love it's-
551
00:19:00,320 --> 00:19:01,600
I don't know about that.
552
00:19:01,640 --> 00:19:03,040
Oh please, Vinnie. I'm dead nervous.
553
00:19:03,080 --> 00:19:04,080
Please...
554
00:19:04,081 --> 00:19:05,400
- Are you sure?
- Yes.
555
00:19:05,440 --> 00:19:06,280
- Yeah?
- Yes.
556
00:19:06,304 --> 00:19:07,175
Alright then...
557
00:19:07,200 --> 00:19:08,760
Let's just get it over and done with.
558
00:19:09,100 --> 00:19:11,120
Oh! What lovely handwriting!
559
00:19:11,160 --> 00:19:12,260
Look at that!
560
00:19:12,691 --> 00:19:14,111
Funeral instructions...
561
00:19:14,160 --> 00:19:15,600
Oh no, what have we forgotten?! It...
562
00:19:15,624 --> 00:19:17,640
It's alright. It's alright. Sweetheart,
it's alright.
563
00:19:17,680 --> 00:19:20,040
I bet there's not a thing on this
list we haven't already covered.
564
00:19:20,080 --> 00:19:21,320
We've had a lovely day, haven't we?!
565
00:19:21,360 --> 00:19:22,679
Magic, yeah...
566
00:19:22,680 --> 00:19:24,639
- Yep. Yeh.
- Uh-huh.
567
00:19:24,640 --> 00:19:26,439
Yeh. Yeh... Mhm.
568
00:19:26,440 --> 00:19:27,460
Yep...
569
00:19:28,620 --> 00:19:30,720
Buried... at sea?
570
00:19:30,760 --> 00:19:31,600
Fuck!
571
00:19:39,295 --> 00:19:41,919
Cheers mate. Cardi here swallowed
the key and we don't have a spare.
572
00:19:41,920 --> 00:19:43,080
Let me get this straight.
573
00:19:43,120 --> 00:19:44,359
You don't want to buy it?
574
00:19:44,360 --> 00:19:46,360
No, I don't want to buy it.
I want to borrow it!
575
00:19:46,400 --> 00:19:47,839
- Borrow?
- Yeah.
576
00:19:47,840 --> 00:19:49,160
You mean rent?
577
00:19:49,200 --> 00:19:50,880
No, I don't mean fucking rent!
578
00:19:50,920 --> 00:19:53,640
I want to borrow it, for a sea burial.
579
00:19:53,680 --> 00:19:54,960
Our mate's mam's died!
580
00:19:55,000 --> 00:19:56,440
No one's making any money on this.
581
00:19:56,480 --> 00:19:58,840
We're just... doing it
out of the goodness of our hearts.
582
00:19:58,880 --> 00:20:00,560
Goodness of your hearts?
583
00:20:00,600 --> 00:20:03,360
Let me tell you,
I once signed up to a charity once.
584
00:20:03,400 --> 00:20:04,280
What happened?
585
00:20:04,281 --> 00:20:06,080
Same day, crashed me car
586
00:20:06,120 --> 00:20:07,580
and got Laryngitis!
587
00:20:07,980 --> 00:20:09,220
And that were it.
588
00:20:09,460 --> 00:20:11,159
I got out of the nice game.
589
00:20:11,160 --> 00:20:13,199
How come you've got
so many keys in here?
590
00:20:13,200 --> 00:20:15,260
I unlock LOTS of things.
591
00:20:15,780 --> 00:20:17,100
Like what?
592
00:20:17,740 --> 00:20:18,980
Doors...
593
00:20:19,580 --> 00:20:20,900
Hearts...
594
00:20:21,260 --> 00:20:22,920
Look, you said yourself,
595
00:20:22,960 --> 00:20:24,759
you're sick of the
fuckin' sight of it!
596
00:20:24,760 --> 00:20:26,719
We only need it
for a couple of days, man.
597
00:20:26,720 --> 00:20:27,860
Come on.
598
00:20:28,156 --> 00:20:29,880
- Couple of days?
- Yeah.
599
00:20:30,280 --> 00:20:31,280
Let me see...
600
00:20:32,640 --> 00:20:33,660
Yes...
601
00:20:34,100 --> 00:20:35,240
..or no?
602
00:20:35,280 --> 00:20:36,640
Dick.
603
00:20:36,680 --> 00:20:37,820
Yes...
604
00:20:38,220 --> 00:20:39,580
..or no?
605
00:20:40,780 --> 00:20:42,000
- Yes.
- Yeah?
606
00:20:42,040 --> 00:20:43,519
- On one condition.
- Go on.
607
00:20:43,520 --> 00:20:44,760
You don't bring it back.
608
00:20:44,800 --> 00:20:46,199
- You what?!
- You heard!
609
00:20:46,200 --> 00:20:47,399
You take it,
610
00:20:47,400 --> 00:20:48,900
you sail it away...
611
00:20:49,300 --> 00:20:51,140
..you drop off your dead person...
612
00:20:52,320 --> 00:20:53,920
..and I never see it again.
613
00:20:53,960 --> 00:20:55,440
Fuck me, you are hard work.
614
00:20:55,480 --> 00:20:57,100
Insured is it? Eh?
615
00:20:57,620 --> 00:20:59,720
Yes, as a matter of fact, it is, yeah.
616
00:21:00,560 --> 00:21:02,320
But I resent the accusation.
617
00:21:03,760 --> 00:21:05,240
I fuck-I hate you Dan.
618
00:21:05,280 --> 00:21:06,700
I know. You're horrible.
619
00:21:07,000 --> 00:21:08,220
Link the fucking thing up.
620
00:21:08,520 --> 00:21:10,360
Calvin, no worries but...
621
00:21:11,066 --> 00:21:13,000
Oh, here, maybe take a laxative.
622
00:21:13,040 --> 00:21:14,280
Poop the key out.
623
00:21:14,320 --> 00:21:16,174
You might as well get your mates
to handcuff us together.
624
00:21:16,199 --> 00:21:16,916
Come on.
625
00:21:16,941 --> 00:21:19,060
Fucking hell mate!
Harassment, that is.
626
00:21:19,460 --> 00:21:20,839
Hashtag Me Too, pal.
627
00:21:20,840 --> 00:21:22,720
Tommo, stop flirting!
628
00:21:22,760 --> 00:21:24,799
Get in the fucking van dude,
we've gotta get laxatives!
629
00:21:24,800 --> 00:21:26,520
Christ, he's a dickhead.
630
00:21:28,500 --> 00:21:29,960
All this Gideon stuff,
631
00:21:30,000 --> 00:21:31,780
it's got me thinkin' about
me mum a lot.
632
00:21:32,120 --> 00:21:33,020
Y'know?
633
00:21:33,380 --> 00:21:34,759
Why the fuckin' hell...
634
00:21:34,760 --> 00:21:36,820
..do you just leave your child?
635
00:21:37,398 --> 00:21:38,839
I mean let's just...
636
00:21:38,840 --> 00:21:40,760
If we gave her
the benefit of the doubt for a sec,
637
00:21:40,800 --> 00:21:42,079
and just say...
638
00:21:42,080 --> 00:21:43,919
..that me dad was fucking useless,
639
00:21:43,920 --> 00:21:45,159
which he would have been
640
00:21:45,160 --> 00:21:47,360
and she needed some space,
that's fair enough.
641
00:21:47,400 --> 00:21:48,720
But you'd come back, wouldn't you?
642
00:21:48,760 --> 00:21:49,640
I'd never...
643
00:21:49,840 --> 00:21:52,258
...EVER leave my little boy. Ever.
644
00:21:52,283 --> 00:21:54,840
No, no phone call, no f...
Here you are.
645
00:21:55,320 --> 00:21:56,320
This is all I've got.
646
00:21:56,360 --> 00:21:57,960
All I've got to remind me of her.
647
00:22:02,340 --> 00:22:03,380
Nice.
648
00:22:03,483 --> 00:22:04,683
She were bonny...
649
00:22:06,675 --> 00:22:08,195
I get these flashbacks...
650
00:22:09,727 --> 00:22:12,207
..to the moment she left me,
when I was little.
651
00:22:12,388 --> 00:22:13,720
Y'know?
652
00:22:14,240 --> 00:22:16,120
And fuck, I wonder...
653
00:22:16,160 --> 00:22:18,719
I-I wonder in a funny kinda way,
whether...
654
00:22:18,720 --> 00:22:21,440
..maybe that's the reason
I don't trust anyone.
655
00:22:21,580 --> 00:22:23,020
Especially girls.
656
00:22:24,820 --> 00:22:27,320
Fuck I am just terrified
of falling in love,
657
00:22:27,360 --> 00:22:29,300
in case they bloody leave me, y'know?
658
00:22:30,100 --> 00:22:31,600
Leave me on my own...
659
00:22:34,582 --> 00:22:35,880
Amazing knees.
660
00:22:35,920 --> 00:22:37,280
- Dickhead.
- Oh, they're smashers.
661
00:22:37,320 --> 00:22:39,120
Dude, I'm pouring me heart out here
662
00:22:39,160 --> 00:22:41,160
and you're just perving on me
missing mum's knees.
663
00:22:41,200 --> 00:22:42,840
- You fu...
- I'm just saying, she was a looker!
664
00:22:42,880 --> 00:22:43,880
You should be pleased!
665
00:22:43,920 --> 00:22:44,920
- Pleased?
- Yeah!
666
00:22:44,960 --> 00:22:46,600
I mean, I would.
I mean not now, but...
667
00:22:46,640 --> 00:22:47,640
..back then I would.
668
00:22:47,680 --> 00:22:49,000
Honestly, you've crossed a line here.
669
00:22:49,040 --> 00:22:50,120
No, that's a good thing!
670
00:22:50,160 --> 00:22:51,960
- There's your weed.
- Vinnie!
671
00:22:52,000 --> 00:22:53,080
- I'm storming out.
- What?
672
00:22:53,120 --> 00:22:54,978
You'd rather I'd said
she was a munter?!
673
00:22:56,680 --> 00:22:58,335
Don't you crease it! Right, now...
674
00:22:58,360 --> 00:23:00,440
- Come up with another plan... again.
- This plan...
675
00:23:00,480 --> 00:23:02,119
- ..is simple...
- Oh?
676
00:23:02,120 --> 00:23:03,640
...yet genius.
677
00:23:03,680 --> 00:23:05,360
Now we live on an island.
678
00:23:05,400 --> 00:23:06,400
- Yeah?
- Yep.
679
00:23:06,440 --> 00:23:08,560
What is an island is surrounded by?
Dylan!
680
00:23:08,600 --> 00:23:10,160
We're not fucking five, Vin.
681
00:23:10,200 --> 00:23:11,560
Oh w-water? Oh.
682
00:23:11,600 --> 00:23:13,880
Correct!
You're fucking spot on, clever lad!
683
00:23:13,920 --> 00:23:15,920
Right now, off this island,
684
00:23:15,960 --> 00:23:17,240
there's another island.
685
00:23:17,280 --> 00:23:18,280
Voila!
686
00:23:18,281 --> 00:23:20,520
- Douglas.
- Capital of the Isle of Man.
687
00:23:20,560 --> 00:23:22,640
That's right, Dyldo! And THAT...
688
00:23:22,680 --> 00:23:24,399
That's where we'll be sailing to.
689
00:23:24,400 --> 00:23:26,240
- Are you fucking joking?
- Hang about...
690
00:23:26,280 --> 00:23:27,560
Why the Isle of Man?
691
00:23:27,600 --> 00:23:29,560
Well, I'm glad you asked.
It's a fuckin' good question.
692
00:23:29,600 --> 00:23:32,280
The Isle of Man, has a MASSIVE
boating community.
693
00:23:32,320 --> 00:23:33,960
Right? This is what I think.
694
00:23:34,000 --> 00:23:35,640
We do our sea burial with Gideon,
695
00:23:35,680 --> 00:23:37,240
we sell that boat,
696
00:23:37,280 --> 00:23:38,680
and we just tell Dan
697
00:23:38,750 --> 00:23:40,605
that we sunk it all the way
698
00:23:40,640 --> 00:23:42,399
- to the bottom of the bloody ocean.
- Someone's gonna drown.
699
00:23:42,400 --> 00:23:43,599
- 100 percent.
- How do we get back?
700
00:23:43,600 --> 00:23:45,880
You're gonna love it.
It's a win-win situation.
701
00:23:45,920 --> 00:23:47,840
- The ferry.
- Ah, go on!
702
00:23:47,880 --> 00:23:50,440
Oh yeah.
Unbelievable. Genius, man. Genius.
703
00:23:50,480 --> 00:23:52,440
Fuck, Dylan! What the fuck
is wrong with that plan?!
704
00:23:52,480 --> 00:23:53,720
Well, let me think... Uh...
705
00:23:53,760 --> 00:23:55,679
None of us can sail a fucking boat.
706
00:23:55,680 --> 00:23:56,900
He can.
707
00:23:57,580 --> 00:24:00,680
For fishing, yes.
Not across the fucking Irish Sea!
708
00:24:00,720 --> 00:24:02,160
What's the difference?
709
00:24:02,200 --> 00:24:04,200
Well, tides, currents,
bloody hidden rocks!
710
00:24:04,240 --> 00:24:06,280
We're gonna need
like GPS, tidal maps...
711
00:24:06,320 --> 00:24:07,840
JJ... It's a straight line,
712
00:24:07,880 --> 00:24:09,519
it just lists off to the left.
713
00:24:09,520 --> 00:24:10,540
I'll sail it.
714
00:24:10,820 --> 00:24:12,320
Oh. Can you sail?
715
00:24:12,360 --> 00:24:14,080
I've dabbled mate, in me youth.
716
00:24:14,120 --> 00:24:15,680
Forward, reverse, like a car int'it?
717
00:24:15,720 --> 00:24:17,080
Except on water.
718
00:24:17,120 --> 00:24:19,520
Can I just say, yeah,
tidal navigation requires practice,
719
00:24:19,560 --> 00:24:20,600
and fucking experience.
720
00:24:20,640 --> 00:24:22,200
You can't sail, you cunt...
721
00:24:22,240 --> 00:24:23,720
Skipton reservoir.
722
00:24:23,760 --> 00:24:24,840
- Yeah?
- Yeah!
723
00:24:25,589 --> 00:24:27,520
Well that'll do won't it?
I mean, it's, you know,
724
00:24:27,560 --> 00:24:28,560
a couple of fingers that -
725
00:24:28,600 --> 00:24:30,440
Can I come? On the boat trip?
726
00:24:30,480 --> 00:24:31,680
Oh, well...
727
00:24:33,003 --> 00:24:34,720
You might have to ask your mam.
728
00:24:34,760 --> 00:24:36,240
- Yeah!
- That was a shit idea.
729
00:24:36,280 --> 00:24:37,480
As long as I can come.
730
00:24:37,520 --> 00:24:38,920
Listen, Erin I don't know whether...
731
00:24:38,960 --> 00:24:40,840
- Sug?
- No, absolutely not.
732
00:24:40,880 --> 00:24:42,560
What could possibly go wrong?
733
00:24:45,485 --> 00:24:47,480
Dude, we shouldn't be
doing this in broad daylight!
734
00:24:47,504 --> 00:24:48,056
Oh shit.
735
00:24:48,080 --> 00:24:49,320
These fishing rods...
736
00:24:49,360 --> 00:24:50,559
Phew!
737
00:24:50,560 --> 00:24:53,040
- Cumbersome...
- Bloody help I can't wait...
738
00:24:53,080 --> 00:24:54,480
Jesus wept... Dude.
739
00:24:54,520 --> 00:24:56,200
Can you believe
we've had to dig her up?
740
00:24:56,240 --> 00:24:57,480
Huh? Two bodies in one week.
741
00:24:57,520 --> 00:24:58,840
I've pulled my groin!
742
00:24:59,340 --> 00:25:00,960
Just hurry up, for Christ sake!
743
00:25:01,000 --> 00:25:03,240
Oi, stop being grumpy!
We're comin' as fast as we can!
744
00:25:03,280 --> 00:25:05,480
Yeah, you bellend. Why don't you
give us a hand, you lazy bastard?
745
00:25:05,520 --> 00:25:07,400
In the fishing community,
this is bloody frowned upon.
746
00:25:07,440 --> 00:25:09,680
They don't even LIKE humans down
there! They get eaten to the bone!
747
00:25:09,720 --> 00:25:11,800
His mum's gonna turn up
in a bloody Lobster Thermidor!
748
00:25:11,840 --> 00:25:13,440
- Shhhh!
- Lobster Thermidor?!
749
00:25:13,480 --> 00:25:14,560
Shit... Oi!
750
00:25:14,600 --> 00:25:15,680
They suck your eyes out first.
751
00:25:15,720 --> 00:25:16,880
Dude, what the fuck...?!
752
00:25:16,920 --> 00:25:18,720
Right, now we've done
everything she asked for
753
00:25:18,760 --> 00:25:19,800
on that list, haven't we?
754
00:25:19,840 --> 00:25:21,359
This is what she wanted Gid...
755
00:25:21,360 --> 00:25:24,440
Yeah, but I don't like the thought
of her down there, being...
756
00:25:24,480 --> 00:25:25,880
..eaten by the fishes...
757
00:25:25,920 --> 00:25:27,880
You know, honestly, her soul, Gid,
758
00:25:27,920 --> 00:25:29,120
that's up in heaven now.
759
00:25:29,160 --> 00:25:30,300
This is just a...
760
00:25:30,620 --> 00:25:32,000
- ...shell.
- Oh, so...
761
00:25:32,040 --> 00:25:34,000
That's just like a... a vessel.
762
00:25:34,032 --> 00:25:35,992
She's like a vessel! Eh?
763
00:25:36,040 --> 00:25:37,120
- Shall we get her on board?
- Yes.
764
00:25:37,160 --> 00:25:39,000
Let's get her on board! Come on.
765
00:25:39,040 --> 00:25:40,440
JJ, get underneath, JJ...
766
00:25:40,480 --> 00:25:42,040
With dignity now. With dignity.
767
00:25:42,080 --> 00:25:43,440
Careful now, boys...
768
00:25:43,480 --> 00:25:45,400
Oh fuck! Oh, my god!
769
00:25:46,400 --> 00:25:48,160
What the fuck are you playing at?
770
00:25:48,310 --> 00:25:50,520
What if they check the boat
at the Isle of Man?
771
00:25:50,920 --> 00:25:52,720
Why would they check the boat Ashley?
772
00:25:52,760 --> 00:25:55,120
In case there are dickheads
smuggling drugs?
773
00:25:55,160 --> 00:25:56,600
You should have told Vinnie
about this.
774
00:25:56,640 --> 00:25:57,920
Yeah well, I couldn't tell Vinnie
775
00:25:57,960 --> 00:26:00,120
because he's brought a CHILD on board.
776
00:26:00,160 --> 00:26:02,400
Yeah, and you knew
he was bringing Tyler.
777
00:26:02,440 --> 00:26:03,680
Why did you bring the drugs anyway?
778
00:26:03,720 --> 00:26:04,920
Because I had it all worked out.
779
00:26:04,960 --> 00:26:06,319
In my fucking head.
780
00:26:06,320 --> 00:26:08,039
Listen. Listen. Listen, right.
781
00:26:08,040 --> 00:26:09,800
I've got a contact on the Isle.
782
00:26:09,840 --> 00:26:12,680
One Sniffy Jones, not his real name,
he is a mate of Gary's. Anyway...
783
00:26:12,720 --> 00:26:15,040
He runs hen-dos, stag-dos
and God knows what the fuck else,
784
00:26:15,080 --> 00:26:16,760
so I can shift some of these,
785
00:26:16,800 --> 00:26:18,120
get a little bit of cash,
786
00:26:18,160 --> 00:26:20,040
pay off them strippers
and maybe, just maybe,
787
00:26:20,080 --> 00:26:21,600
keep a bit to one side for meself.
788
00:26:21,640 --> 00:26:22,840
I don't like this Tommo.
789
00:26:22,880 --> 00:26:23,880
I don't like it a bit.
790
00:26:23,920 --> 00:26:25,780
Look... Ashley.
791
00:26:26,200 --> 00:26:28,399
We'll get to the other side, right?
792
00:26:28,400 --> 00:26:31,400
I'll pop off for an hour max,
job done.
793
00:26:31,440 --> 00:26:33,400
No one will be any the wiser.
794
00:26:34,600 --> 00:26:35,660
Will they?
795
00:26:36,760 --> 00:26:38,260
Oh...
796
00:26:38,500 --> 00:26:40,559
Oh yeah, yeah it's happening now.
797
00:26:40,560 --> 00:26:43,040
The laxatives are working. Go on,
I'm gonna shit myself. Hurry up.
798
00:26:43,080 --> 00:26:45,080
We really didn't think this plan
through...
799
00:26:45,120 --> 00:26:47,240
Tyler, you be careful there you!
800
00:26:47,280 --> 00:26:48,960
Oh, its so wobbly!
801
00:26:49,000 --> 00:26:50,880
Is it gonna be like this all the way?
802
00:26:50,920 --> 00:26:52,080
We haven't even left yet.
803
00:26:52,120 --> 00:26:53,440
We're still tied up, Giddy, love.
804
00:26:53,480 --> 00:26:55,680
Vinnie, I've got no sea legs.
I'm gonna be sick.
805
00:26:55,720 --> 00:26:57,240
Are you bloody hell gonna be sick.
806
00:26:57,280 --> 00:26:58,560
Oh, I am. I feel awful.
807
00:26:58,600 --> 00:27:00,080
If you stand on one leg
808
00:27:00,120 --> 00:27:01,120
and touch your nose,
809
00:27:01,121 --> 00:27:02,319
you can't be sick.
810
00:27:02,320 --> 00:27:04,480
Really? Is that true?
811
00:27:04,520 --> 00:27:05,679
- That's a thing.
- Yeah.
812
00:27:05,680 --> 00:27:06,560
Try it.
813
00:27:06,561 --> 00:27:07,780
I'll try it.
814
00:27:08,340 --> 00:27:09,620
Okay...
815
00:27:10,000 --> 00:27:11,000
Ooh...
816
00:27:12,440 --> 00:27:13,620
Oooh!
817
00:27:13,940 --> 00:27:16,079
- Hey, it's working.
- There you are!
818
00:27:16,080 --> 00:27:17,080
Oh!
819
00:27:17,081 --> 00:27:19,079
This sickness has left me...
820
00:27:19,080 --> 00:27:20,799
Oh!
821
00:27:20,800 --> 00:27:22,280
Gideon, man!
822
00:27:23,360 --> 00:27:25,679
Christ, why is it so yellow?!
823
00:27:25,680 --> 00:27:27,680
I had battered sausage
with curry sauce...
824
00:27:29,480 --> 00:27:31,359
Hurry up, will you?!
825
00:27:31,360 --> 00:27:34,080
Hurry up?! Do you think I'm fuckin'
wanting to be down here,
826
00:27:34,120 --> 00:27:35,160
fishing through shit?!
827
00:27:35,200 --> 00:27:36,560
Vinnie, I feel awful!
828
00:27:36,600 --> 00:27:38,560
- I know, sweetheart.
- I feel like it's gonna last forever!
829
00:27:38,600 --> 00:27:40,480
It's not gonna last forever.
830
00:27:40,520 --> 00:27:42,600
- Let's get you in this toilet here...
- Yes, please!
831
00:27:44,280 --> 00:27:45,560
Is there someone in there?
832
00:27:45,600 --> 00:27:46,760
We're busy!
833
00:27:46,800 --> 00:27:48,160
- The key best be here, man.
- Guys listen!
834
00:27:48,200 --> 00:27:49,880
No, no, no, no.
We have got a situation!
835
00:27:49,920 --> 00:27:51,680
Gideon's throwing up in the sink!
836
00:27:51,720 --> 00:27:54,320
Oh, we have got a situation as well!
837
00:27:54,360 --> 00:27:55,880
Would you believe? Fuck.
838
00:27:55,920 --> 00:27:59,120
I've got a fucking situation
too, dude!
839
00:28:00,200 --> 00:28:00,960
Dig through it!
840
00:28:00,961 --> 00:28:02,360
- Dig through it?!
- Dig through it!
841
00:28:02,400 --> 00:28:04,280
Dig through it?!
What do you think I'm fucking doing?
842
00:28:04,320 --> 00:28:06,280
- I'm digging through it.
- You're not digging THROUGH it!
843
00:28:06,305 --> 00:28:07,785
You're just going in and out.
844
00:28:07,840 --> 00:28:09,280
- What are they doing in there?
- I dunno.
845
00:28:09,320 --> 00:28:11,320
- What are you fucking doing in there?
- What are they doing?!
846
00:28:11,360 --> 00:28:13,440
I don't know dude.
It looks fucking ridiculous.
847
00:28:13,480 --> 00:28:14,480
I'm coming in!
848
00:28:14,520 --> 00:28:16,680
- No! Do not fucking come in!
- Do not come in here!
849
00:28:16,720 --> 00:28:17,839
Do not!
850
00:28:17,840 --> 00:28:19,960
- Woah! Eugh! Ah!
- Don't come in!
851
00:28:20,000 --> 00:28:22,040
Don't! Don't fuckin' come in here!
852
00:28:23,360 --> 00:28:24,720
Vinnie!
853
00:28:24,760 --> 00:28:25,760
Right!
854
00:28:25,800 --> 00:28:27,240
Are we ready to set sail?
855
00:28:28,120 --> 00:28:29,780
Yeah, yeah...
856
00:28:31,760 --> 00:28:32,880
Right, JJ, dude.
857
00:28:32,920 --> 00:28:34,919
We really need to make sure we're
hugging that coastline.
858
00:28:34,920 --> 00:28:35,680
Right.
859
00:28:35,681 --> 00:28:37,416
- If we follow the coastline...
- Sorry darling.
860
00:28:37,440 --> 00:28:38,720
..all the way to Barrow,
861
00:28:38,760 --> 00:28:40,879
there's less chance of
veering wildly off course.
862
00:28:40,880 --> 00:28:42,980
Then we can just
hop across to the Isle.
863
00:28:43,280 --> 00:28:44,880
And dude, watch out for sandbanks.
864
00:28:46,421 --> 00:28:48,860
Don't look at me.
Literally, stare over there.
865
00:29:13,600 --> 00:29:14,460
Alright?
866
00:29:14,640 --> 00:29:16,340
Alright, gorgeous girl?
867
00:29:16,980 --> 00:29:18,860
- It's nice in't it?
- It's lovely, yeah...
868
00:29:20,266 --> 00:29:21,720
Do you know what it reminds me of?
869
00:29:21,880 --> 00:29:22,700
What?
870
00:29:23,100 --> 00:29:25,039
- Titanic...
- Mmm!
871
00:29:25,040 --> 00:29:26,840
It is a bit Titanic.
872
00:29:27,929 --> 00:29:29,560
- Do you want to do it?
- Yeah.
873
00:29:29,600 --> 00:29:31,360
- Yes?
- Yes, I want to do Titanic.
874
00:29:31,400 --> 00:29:32,839
Alright.
875
00:29:32,840 --> 00:29:34,160
- Do you trust me?
- Yeah.
876
00:29:34,200 --> 00:29:36,559
Well, not really. 65 percent.
877
00:29:36,560 --> 00:29:38,319
Right, OK, now put your arms out.
878
00:29:38,320 --> 00:29:39,260
Alright.
879
00:29:39,900 --> 00:29:41,560
- Close your eyes.
- OK...
880
00:29:43,200 --> 00:29:44,680
Right, now...
881
00:29:46,160 --> 00:29:47,680
Right, open them.
882
00:29:49,380 --> 00:29:51,100
It's quite nice in't it?!
883
00:29:52,020 --> 00:29:53,900
It's like we're flying isn't it?!
884
00:29:59,820 --> 00:30:01,240
Christ, you're so beautiful...
885
00:30:01,280 --> 00:30:02,280
Ah!
886
00:30:02,320 --> 00:30:04,840
Shit! Oh my god!
887
00:30:04,880 --> 00:30:06,160
JJ I warned you!
888
00:30:06,200 --> 00:30:07,280
What going on?
889
00:30:07,320 --> 00:30:08,840
I think we hit the sandbank!
890
00:30:08,880 --> 00:30:11,280
Vinnie! Vinnie!
891
00:30:11,320 --> 00:30:12,320
Erin!
892
00:30:12,321 --> 00:30:13,359
Man...
893
00:30:13,360 --> 00:30:16,160
I'm adjusting that... percentage by...
894
00:30:16,200 --> 00:30:17,679
..sixty percent, dude!
895
00:30:17,680 --> 00:30:19,900
Chuck me the fucking ring!
896
00:30:20,002 --> 00:30:22,320
Dickhead! What fuckin' use is that?!
897
00:30:22,360 --> 00:30:23,940
See you in Antarctica, love!
898
00:30:27,280 --> 00:30:29,300
I'm coming round, I'm coming round!
Hang on!
899
00:30:40,680 --> 00:30:42,160
It's bloody freezing!
900
00:30:45,580 --> 00:30:46,599
Vin...
901
00:30:46,600 --> 00:30:47,879
Yeah?
902
00:30:47,880 --> 00:30:49,320
I've summat to tell you...
903
00:30:49,360 --> 00:30:50,300
Oh yeah...?
904
00:30:51,180 --> 00:30:53,220
It's about the Rat and Cutter.
905
00:30:54,060 --> 00:30:55,639
What about the Rat and Cutter?
906
00:30:55,640 --> 00:30:56,879
I'm the new owner.
907
00:30:58,960 --> 00:31:00,300
How does that work?
908
00:31:00,740 --> 00:31:02,540
I got some money to set it up.
909
00:31:03,420 --> 00:31:05,960
Like, do proper nights.
910
00:31:05,992 --> 00:31:07,832
Not just about women shaking
their tits about.
911
00:31:07,880 --> 00:31:09,360
- I mean like a different vibe, you know?
- Hmm.
912
00:31:09,400 --> 00:31:10,999
Where have you got the money from?
913
00:31:11,000 --> 00:31:13,080
- I mean, it sounds dodgy.
- It's not dodgy.
914
00:31:13,120 --> 00:31:14,480
I got... I loaned it.
915
00:31:14,924 --> 00:31:17,200
I borrowed it from some...
Yeah, I borrowed it.
916
00:31:17,224 --> 00:31:18,279
- You got a loan?
- Yes.
917
00:31:18,280 --> 00:31:20,160
- I got a loan.
- Well, where from?
918
00:31:21,068 --> 00:31:22,108
The bank.
919
00:31:22,931 --> 00:31:24,200
- The bank?
- Yes!
920
00:31:24,240 --> 00:31:25,520
I got a loan from the bank...
921
00:31:25,560 --> 00:31:27,679
..to... get it reopened, yeah.
922
00:31:27,680 --> 00:31:29,800
- The bank gave you a loan?
- Yes.
923
00:31:32,038 --> 00:31:33,080
- Where...
- Vin!
924
00:31:33,120 --> 00:31:35,079
Where does Tommo fit in, tell me that?
925
00:31:35,080 --> 00:31:36,760
He is Co-Assistant Manager.
926
00:31:38,660 --> 00:31:41,080
Oh, fuck, he's gonna lose his shit.
927
00:31:41,120 --> 00:31:42,280
I know.
928
00:31:42,500 --> 00:31:44,400
Vin look, it's a means to an end.
929
00:31:44,440 --> 00:31:45,360
You know?
930
00:31:45,361 --> 00:31:47,759
So I can get money together,
so I can start making some plans.
931
00:31:47,760 --> 00:31:49,600
- Like, I did it at college didn't I?
- Mhmm.
932
00:31:49,640 --> 00:31:51,440
Business, Hospitality and all that.
933
00:31:51,480 --> 00:31:52,480
- I know.
- I'm good at it.
934
00:31:52,520 --> 00:31:53,520
I know...
935
00:31:54,424 --> 00:31:56,080
Are you telling me porky pies?
936
00:31:57,093 --> 00:31:58,000
No.
937
00:31:58,024 --> 00:32:00,160
I hope you're not
telling me any porkies...
938
00:32:00,420 --> 00:32:02,400
Vin, I'm not lying.
939
00:32:04,896 --> 00:32:07,000
I just love you and that boy.
940
00:32:08,020 --> 00:32:10,320
I just don't want anything
happening to you, ever.
941
00:32:10,360 --> 00:32:11,420
Do you understand me?
942
00:32:12,760 --> 00:32:13,620
Hmm?
943
00:32:14,320 --> 00:32:15,360
Yeah.
944
00:32:25,880 --> 00:32:27,040
Fuck!
945
00:32:28,180 --> 00:32:30,199
What the FUCK?!
946
00:32:35,980 --> 00:32:37,480
For FUCK'S sake!
947
00:32:40,640 --> 00:32:42,320
Huh... Dog bummers.
948
00:32:42,360 --> 00:32:44,360
Huh! Warrant to search the premises.
949
00:32:44,400 --> 00:32:45,440
Out the fucking way!
950
00:32:45,480 --> 00:32:46,759
- Don't touch me!
- A coffin's gone missing...
951
00:32:46,760 --> 00:32:48,080
You creep!
952
00:33:01,422 --> 00:33:04,102
Violating a grave, Gary.
953
00:33:04,440 --> 00:33:05,880
Undertaker.
954
00:33:07,400 --> 00:33:09,140
Imagine the reaction!
955
00:33:09,980 --> 00:33:12,240
You'll be Britain's Most Hated Man.
956
00:33:12,280 --> 00:33:13,719
What do you think, Hoskins?
957
00:33:13,720 --> 00:33:16,100
Uh, criminal record, career over...
958
00:33:16,460 --> 00:33:18,080
Yeah, you might be right.
959
00:33:18,708 --> 00:33:20,068
Unless...
960
00:33:21,087 --> 00:33:22,407
Unless what?
961
00:33:22,491 --> 00:33:24,280
Well, I'm just thinking aloud sir,
962
00:33:24,320 --> 00:33:26,380
but sometimes things can, uh...
963
00:33:26,780 --> 00:33:27,940
...go away.
964
00:33:28,380 --> 00:33:29,799
Go away?
965
00:33:29,800 --> 00:33:31,399
And how would it just...
966
00:33:31,400 --> 00:33:32,620
...go away?
967
00:33:33,020 --> 00:33:35,679
Well, perhaps he's not
the real perpetrator?
968
00:33:35,680 --> 00:33:37,720
Perhaps there were
other people involved...
969
00:33:37,760 --> 00:33:38,960
You want me to rat?
970
00:33:39,080 --> 00:33:41,520
I want you to tell me...
971
00:33:41,560 --> 00:33:42,959
...where O'Neil fits in...
972
00:33:42,960 --> 00:33:44,360
...and where he is now.
973
00:33:53,518 --> 00:33:55,447
Alright, so where are we now then?
974
00:33:55,471 --> 00:33:56,711
- Do you want to tell him?
- Where is it?
975
00:33:56,760 --> 00:33:57,760
There!
976
00:33:57,800 --> 00:33:58,640
Oooh!
977
00:33:58,641 --> 00:33:59,719
Good lad.
978
00:33:59,720 --> 00:34:01,359
It's going quite well innit, eh?
979
00:34:01,360 --> 00:34:02,340
Not bad.
980
00:34:02,580 --> 00:34:05,360
Oh ye of little faith.
981
00:34:08,426 --> 00:34:09,999
Vin, no! It's not what it-
982
00:34:10,000 --> 00:34:11,320
- It wasn't us! Vin!
- Let me explain...
983
00:34:11,360 --> 00:34:12,640
- It wasn't us!
- Get the fuck outside!
984
00:34:12,680 --> 00:34:14,800
- Get off me!
- No, no, Vinnie! You fucking mug.
985
00:34:14,840 --> 00:34:15,920
- What the fuck?!
- Dude!
986
00:34:15,960 --> 00:34:17,640
Dude, don't hit me!
They're Tommo's, man.
987
00:34:17,680 --> 00:34:19,640
- Why-?!
- We didn't know, alright, until it was too late.
988
00:34:19,680 --> 00:34:21,280
Why the fuck has he brought them?
989
00:34:21,320 --> 00:34:22,520
To sell them to Sniffy Jones,
990
00:34:22,560 --> 00:34:24,240
to pay the strippers!
It was nothing to do with us.
991
00:34:24,280 --> 00:34:26,200
I told him it was a bad idea, Vin.
992
00:34:26,240 --> 00:34:28,720
Oi! Dickhead!
993
00:34:28,760 --> 00:34:30,200
Vinnie! VINNIE! I can explain!
994
00:34:30,240 --> 00:34:31,880
I don't want your explanations.
995
00:34:31,920 --> 00:34:34,120
There is a little lad onboard.
Why didn't you tell me about that?
996
00:34:34,160 --> 00:34:35,920
I-I KNEW you'd disapprove, you see!
997
00:34:35,960 --> 00:34:37,440
What, so you just
fucking did it anyway?
998
00:34:37,480 --> 00:34:39,120
Vinnie! Vinnie! I am fucked, right?
999
00:34:39,160 --> 00:34:40,560
I'm getting heat
left, right and centre!
1000
00:34:40,600 --> 00:34:42,600
Have you ever dealt with financially
disgruntled women?!
1001
00:34:42,640 --> 00:34:44,280
I just fucking can't believe
you've done...
1002
00:34:44,320 --> 00:34:46,320
Get off me!
1003
00:34:51,520 --> 00:34:53,480
Stop... Stop it!
1004
00:34:54,080 --> 00:34:56,199
That's thousands of pills, right?!
1005
00:34:56,200 --> 00:34:57,500
Thousands of 'em!
1006
00:34:59,380 --> 00:35:00,600
If we get caught with them,
1007
00:35:00,640 --> 00:35:02,040
that's YEARS in the pen.
1008
00:35:02,080 --> 00:35:04,600
And Carl Slater will make
fucking damn sure of that, won't he?
1009
00:35:04,640 --> 00:35:05,959
Now listen, Tom.
1010
00:35:05,960 --> 00:35:08,240
- They are gonna have to go overboard.
- No, no, Vinnie!
1011
00:35:08,280 --> 00:35:09,560
Vinnie. Vinnie. Listen to me.
1012
00:35:09,600 --> 00:35:11,440
Listen to me right...
1013
00:35:11,480 --> 00:35:13,040
Fucking little bastard!
1014
00:35:14,040 --> 00:35:16,480
Come here, shithead.
Come here, you little bastard!
1015
00:35:16,520 --> 00:35:18,120
Oh, shit!
1016
00:35:18,160 --> 00:35:20,080
Where have you fucking hidden them?
1017
00:35:20,120 --> 00:35:21,400
Stop fucking about!
1018
00:35:21,440 --> 00:35:23,319
I'll put you through the fucking wall!
1019
00:35:23,320 --> 00:35:25,720
- Where are they?
- Vin, I can't fucking do it!
1020
00:35:25,760 --> 00:35:27,560
Get off me, you cunt!
1021
00:35:30,360 --> 00:35:31,720
- Come here...
- Get off me!
1022
00:35:32,920 --> 00:35:34,560
I'm not fucking about!
1023
00:35:34,600 --> 00:35:35,760
SHIT!
1024
00:35:35,800 --> 00:35:37,560
Look what you've made me do,
you dickhead!
1025
00:35:37,600 --> 00:35:39,040
Listen to me. You don't understand.
1026
00:35:39,080 --> 00:35:41,200
Me little lad's
on this fucking boat, Tommy!
1027
00:35:43,153 --> 00:35:44,153
Your lad?
1028
00:35:44,280 --> 00:35:46,960
Yeah, he's fuckin' mine! Alright?
1029
00:35:47,000 --> 00:35:48,840
And his dad's not going back in jail
1030
00:35:48,880 --> 00:35:50,600
for love nor fucking money.
1031
00:35:50,640 --> 00:35:52,240
Never mind a load of pills!
1032
00:35:58,840 --> 00:36:00,080
You're my dad?
1033
00:36:04,061 --> 00:36:05,221
Yeah.
1034
00:36:06,113 --> 00:36:07,720
Yeah, I am, yeah.
1035
00:36:07,760 --> 00:36:09,960
I mean it wasn't meant
to come out like that...
1036
00:36:10,884 --> 00:36:13,280
But yeah, I am. I'm your real daddy.
1037
00:36:15,656 --> 00:36:16,976
Mum?
1038
00:36:18,280 --> 00:36:20,120
Um... OK...
1039
00:36:20,983 --> 00:36:23,380
Right, the reason why
we didn't tell you...
1040
00:36:24,180 --> 00:36:25,860
...is because Mummy...
1041
00:36:26,010 --> 00:36:28,380
...was with Dylan, OK?
1042
00:36:29,020 --> 00:36:31,000
And... and Dylan...
1043
00:36:31,040 --> 00:36:32,800
...wanted to be your daddy as well.
1044
00:36:35,502 --> 00:36:37,302
Come here a sec. Listen.
1045
00:36:37,452 --> 00:36:39,160
Just listen to me a minute.
1046
00:36:43,480 --> 00:36:44,620
Sometimes...
1047
00:36:44,940 --> 00:36:47,639
...grown-ups get things really wrong.
1048
00:36:47,640 --> 00:36:49,140
Y'know?
1049
00:36:50,700 --> 00:36:53,560
And for the longest time
I just didn't know...
1050
00:36:53,600 --> 00:36:55,360
I didn't know I was your daddy.
1051
00:36:56,797 --> 00:36:58,477
But now I do know.
1052
00:37:00,002 --> 00:37:01,920
And you are the best thing
1053
00:37:01,960 --> 00:37:03,680
that's ever happened to me
1054
00:37:03,720 --> 00:37:05,680
in my entire life.
1055
00:37:08,309 --> 00:37:10,000
Can I have a squeeze?
1056
00:37:19,491 --> 00:37:21,620
I love my boy.
1057
00:37:27,800 --> 00:37:29,380
Shall we go and sail the boat?
1058
00:37:29,780 --> 00:37:30,799
Yeah?!
1059
00:37:30,800 --> 00:37:32,000
Come on, sausage.
1060
00:37:32,040 --> 00:37:33,300
Come with me, buddy.
1061
00:37:36,000 --> 00:37:38,160
Can you see any whales?
1062
00:37:38,960 --> 00:37:39,960
No...
1063
00:37:40,000 --> 00:37:41,740
Can you see any dolphins?
1064
00:37:42,140 --> 00:37:43,559
Can I have a kiss?
1065
00:37:43,560 --> 00:37:44,840
Nom nom nom. Mwah!
1066
00:37:46,320 --> 00:37:47,520
I tell you what Tyler,
1067
00:37:47,560 --> 00:37:49,640
you are doing such a good job!
1068
00:37:49,680 --> 00:37:51,240
Woah! Straight, straight, straight!
1069
00:37:51,280 --> 00:37:52,800
Woah!
1070
00:37:55,120 --> 00:37:57,640
♪ From the top of my head
1071
00:37:57,680 --> 00:38:02,640
♪ Down to the tips
♪ of the toes on my feet
1072
00:38:02,680 --> 00:38:05,640
♪ So go ahead and love me
1073
00:38:05,680 --> 00:38:08,060
♪ While it's still a crime
1074
00:38:08,240 --> 00:38:11,500
♪ Don't forget you could be laughing
1075
00:38:11,840 --> 00:38:15,780
♪ Sixty-five percent
♪ more of the time
1076
00:38:16,247 --> 00:38:22,087
♪ You could be laughing sixty-five ♪
percent of the time ♪
1077
00:38:22,120 --> 00:38:23,360
God help me.
1078
00:38:24,580 --> 00:38:26,980
Do not stand at my grave and weep,
1079
00:38:27,005 --> 00:38:29,500
I am not there, I do not sleep.
1080
00:38:29,900 --> 00:38:32,000
I am a thousand winds that blow,
1081
00:38:32,040 --> 00:38:34,340
I am the diamond glints on the snow.
1082
00:38:35,940 --> 00:38:38,559
I am the sunlight on ripened grain,
1083
00:38:38,560 --> 00:38:40,319
I am the gentle Autumn rain...
1084
00:38:40,320 --> 00:38:43,400
It's the fucking cops.
Hey! It's the fucking cops!
1085
00:38:43,860 --> 00:38:45,805
- I am the..
- What?! Eh?!
1086
00:38:45,830 --> 00:38:47,159
Shit!
1087
00:38:47,160 --> 00:38:48,640
The police?
1088
00:38:48,740 --> 00:38:51,600
Well, we've done nowt wrong. We've
nothing to worry about, have we?
1089
00:38:51,640 --> 00:38:53,480
Do we need a permit to bury her?!
1090
00:38:53,520 --> 00:38:54,640
What-what-what-
1091
00:38:54,680 --> 00:38:56,719
What if we've crossed a border?!
What if they think we're pirates?!
1092
00:38:56,720 --> 00:38:58,559
- Giddy. Calm down.
- What if they make us walk the plank?
1093
00:38:58,560 --> 00:39:00,160
- I've got my best shoes on!
- Gideon, stop it!
1094
00:39:00,185 --> 00:39:01,342
Calm down.
1095
00:39:01,343 --> 00:39:02,240
What's happening?
1096
00:39:02,241 --> 00:39:04,559
Nothing, nothing! We're fine, OK?
We're fine, we're fine.
1097
00:39:04,560 --> 00:39:05,480
Tommy!
1098
00:39:06,295 --> 00:39:07,615
Tommy. Hey!
1099
00:39:07,640 --> 00:39:08,920
The fucking sea police are out there!
1100
00:39:08,960 --> 00:39:09,960
We've gotta throw 'em over
1101
00:39:10,000 --> 00:39:11,480
or we're gonna get
fucking banged up, man!
1102
00:39:11,520 --> 00:39:13,120
- What if they float?!
- Shit.
1103
00:39:13,160 --> 00:39:15,480
Ah! Shit, this is bad,
this is really fuckin' bad!
1104
00:39:15,520 --> 00:39:16,720
Just give them to me.
1105
00:39:16,760 --> 00:39:18,360
I'll do it on the sly.
Just fucking hurry up man!
1106
00:39:18,400 --> 00:39:19,400
Vinnie, Vinnie, Vinnie...
1107
00:39:19,440 --> 00:39:20,920
If they're outside and they film it
1108
00:39:20,960 --> 00:39:23,199
and they catch you doing that,
that's you in the shit.
1109
00:39:23,200 --> 00:39:25,220
If anyone is going down for this,
it's me.
1110
00:39:25,820 --> 00:39:27,480
- Hang on. Hang on.
- What?
1111
00:39:27,520 --> 00:39:28,959
I've got it.
1112
00:39:28,960 --> 00:39:30,600
- She is still up there...
- Mmhmm.
1113
00:39:30,640 --> 00:39:32,000
The mother, she hasn't gone in yet.
1114
00:39:32,040 --> 00:39:33,260
Hmm.
1115
00:39:33,560 --> 00:39:36,140
Get out. Fuck, I'll do Gideon.
1116
00:39:39,760 --> 00:39:41,040
Oh here's Vinnie.
1117
00:39:41,080 --> 00:39:42,320
Come here, sweetheart.
1118
00:39:42,360 --> 00:39:44,040
- Are you okay?
- I'm alright. I was just...
1119
00:39:44,080 --> 00:39:45,560
Cover me so they can't see
what I'm doing.
1120
00:39:45,600 --> 00:39:47,520
I know, yeah... Yeah. I know that.
1121
00:39:47,560 --> 00:39:49,160
So, um, listen to me.
1122
00:39:49,200 --> 00:39:51,840
It's just like that poem said,
innit, you know...
1123
00:39:52,000 --> 00:39:54,959
Do not stand by my graveside and cry,
1124
00:39:54,960 --> 00:39:57,440
- for I was not there...
- There we go love!
1125
00:39:57,480 --> 00:39:58,839
Think of it as one last high.
1126
00:39:58,840 --> 00:40:01,360
- She did die though, didn't she, Vinnie?
- Well, yes, physically.
1127
00:40:01,400 --> 00:40:03,400
She was cold, stiff as a board!
1128
00:40:03,440 --> 00:40:04,719
Dude, it's poem talk.
1129
00:40:04,720 --> 00:40:06,240
She is in there.
1130
00:40:06,280 --> 00:40:07,480
Shall we sit you down?
1131
00:40:07,680 --> 00:40:09,640
- Maybe say a few words?
- OK.
1132
00:40:09,664 --> 00:40:10,815
Alright, sweetheart.
1133
00:40:10,840 --> 00:40:12,322
Do not throw anything from the boat!
1134
00:40:12,347 --> 00:40:13,200
Fuck!
1135
00:40:13,200 --> 00:40:14,180
Bye, Mum.
1136
00:40:15,060 --> 00:40:18,319
You were the best mother
a son could ever have.
1137
00:40:18,320 --> 00:40:19,900
You were always there for me,
1138
00:40:20,260 --> 00:40:21,780
through good times and bad.
1139
00:40:22,340 --> 00:40:25,260
Like when Martin McCulloch
used to pick on me,
1140
00:40:25,700 --> 00:40:27,220
and I'd come home crying.
1141
00:40:27,620 --> 00:40:29,679
You'd wipe me tears...
1142
00:40:29,680 --> 00:40:31,679
- Turn off your engines!
- ...and make me crumpets,
1143
00:40:31,680 --> 00:40:33,359
...with honey on them...
1144
00:40:33,360 --> 00:40:35,260
And... IN she goes!
1145
00:40:35,780 --> 00:40:37,519
Oh Mum!
1146
00:40:37,520 --> 00:40:39,060
Goodbyes should be sudden.
1147
00:40:39,300 --> 00:40:40,740
Bye, Mum...
1148
00:40:42,820 --> 00:40:44,340
Should we get arrested?
1149
00:40:44,740 --> 00:40:46,740
Hey, yeah... why not, eh?
1150
00:40:48,700 --> 00:40:51,520
Do not throw anything overboard!
1151
00:40:51,600 --> 00:40:56,080
♪ Cold, cold eyes upon me they stare
1152
00:40:56,120 --> 00:40:59,200
♪ People all around me,
1153
00:40:59,240 --> 00:41:01,159
♪ and they're all in fear... ♪
1154
00:41:01,160 --> 00:41:03,143
Hey, you couldn't release
them for us, could you?
1155
00:41:03,168 --> 00:41:04,420
No.
1156
00:41:08,221 --> 00:41:10,060
Who's my special little man?
1157
00:41:10,620 --> 00:41:12,420
- Me.
- Is it you?!
1158
00:41:12,860 --> 00:41:13,959
Listen to me.
1159
00:41:13,960 --> 00:41:15,680
No matter what happens,
1160
00:41:16,055 --> 00:41:18,815
I will never ever leave you.
1161
00:41:18,840 --> 00:41:20,279
Do you hear me?
1162
00:41:20,280 --> 00:41:21,580
Alright?
1163
00:41:24,410 --> 00:41:27,360
Go to sleep. My boy...
1164
00:41:29,180 --> 00:41:30,920
I wish he were my dad.
1165
00:41:32,440 --> 00:41:35,040
♪ Having hard times
1166
00:41:35,080 --> 00:41:37,680
♪ In this crazy town
1167
00:41:37,720 --> 00:41:40,240
♪ Having hard times
1168
00:41:40,280 --> 00:41:42,960
♪ There's no love to be found
1169
00:41:43,000 --> 00:41:45,300
♪ Having hard times
1170
00:41:45,560 --> 00:41:48,020
♪ In this crazy town
1171
00:41:48,200 --> 00:41:50,540
♪ Having hard times
1172
00:41:50,840 --> 00:41:53,620
♪ And no love to be found ♪
1173
00:41:58,160 --> 00:42:02,100
♪ From my party house,
♪ I feel like meeting others
1174
00:42:02,780 --> 00:42:06,920
♪ Familiar faces, creed and race
♪ a brother
1175
00:42:08,200 --> 00:42:12,460
♪ But to my surprise
♪ I find a man corrupt
1176
00:42:13,000 --> 00:42:17,640
♪ Although he be my brother,
♪ He wants to hold me up
1177
00:42:17,880 --> 00:42:20,640
♪ Having hard times
1178
00:42:20,680 --> 00:42:23,380
♪ In this crazy town
1179
00:42:23,800 --> 00:42:25,300
♪ Having hard times... ♪
1180
00:42:26,292 --> 00:42:27,855
- We're on the way.
- What's going on?
1181
00:42:27,880 --> 00:42:29,520
Something's happened with Doolan.
1182
00:42:29,560 --> 00:42:30,799
He's been kidnapped.
1183
00:42:30,800 --> 00:42:32,999
You won't let us down Vinnie.
1184
00:42:33,000 --> 00:42:35,200
We are asking you
to save a man's life here!
1185
00:42:36,800 --> 00:42:38,400
We are doing this by the book, boys.
1186
00:42:38,440 --> 00:42:39,680
We're gonna go to them kidnappers.
1187
00:42:39,720 --> 00:42:40,960
Ah, Fuck!
1188
00:42:41,000 --> 00:42:42,720
We're going to drop
that money off, save Doolan,
1189
00:42:42,760 --> 00:42:43,840
be bloody heroes,
1190
00:42:43,880 --> 00:42:46,080
and off we go
to Tyler's birthday party.
1191
00:43:00,120 --> 00:43:01,760
You know when he said Isle of Wight,
1192
00:43:01,800 --> 00:43:03,400
do you think he meant Isle of Man?
1193
00:43:03,440 --> 00:43:06,959
♪ I've got soul control in my mind ♪
1194
00:43:06,960 --> 00:43:08,240
Hey, it's-I'm alright.
1195
00:43:08,280 --> 00:43:12,080
♪ Soul control in my mind
1196
00:43:12,120 --> 00:43:15,260
♪ Give me the strength to carry on
1197
00:43:20,680 --> 00:43:23,520
♪ 'Cause everything I got
♪ is just about gone
1198
00:43:23,560 --> 00:43:27,159
♪ And I think about it... ♪
1199
00:43:27,160 --> 00:43:30,760
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1200
00:43:30,784 --> 00:43:33,824
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