All language subtitles for Ben.Ara.2015.1080p.WEBRip.x265-RARBG2_English

(soft piano music)

(water splashing)

- [Professor] You
realize this draft isn't

anywhere near being
ready to defend?

- I thought it was pretty
good progress considering.

- Bullshit!

- Excuse me?

- [Pofessor] Ben, you and I
both know that's bullshit.

- I have the ideas there.

- Look, I get it.

It's a lot more fun to spin
theories out loud than it is

to sit at your computer
and make things make sense.

- With a little more time.

- You don't have any more time.

This is your seventh year.

Your clock has run out, man.

If you don't defend on schedule

all your coursework
becomes invalid.

Now, your argument and
dialectic isn't bad,

an overview of the
philosophical spread

of Calvinism across
Western Europe.

- I'm focusing on how the idea

of predestination
shaped society.

How it affected
politics, culture.

- Yeah, yeah, I get it.

Not bad.

But, you gotta stop
procrastinating.

That may have gotten you
through your masters,

but it won't work here.

Now, focus and get to work.

- [Girl] You started it!

- [Boy] No, you started it!

- [Girl] No, you started it!

- [Boy] No, you started it!

- [Girl] No, you started it.

- [Boy] No, you started it.

- [Girl] No, you started it.

- [Boy] No, you started it.

- Stop it.

Mohammed, be nice
to your sister.

She's a girl.

- But, she started it.

- Mohammed, drink
your orange juice.

- I want apple juice!

- Enough!

We ran out.

Ara, is that food almost ready?

- Almost.

- She let us have
donuts last time.

- Ara!

- I didn't give them donuts.

- Myriam, you know what
Allah says about lying.

I spoke to your
grandmother today.

Every time I call her
she's asking about you.

When are you going
to call that woman?

- It's always the
same conversation
about great-grandkids.

I'll give her a call later.

- Oh, and Najeeb's
mother called.

She's insisting that you join
them for dinner this week.

- It's not a good week for that.

- When is it going
to be a good week?

A good man like Najeeb isn't
going to chase you forever.

Ara, you have to start taking
your place in the community.

(keyboard clacking)

I take it you're
finished for the night?

- I just started proofing.

I'd like to get a
little more finished

before I have to get up tomorrow
and do it all over again.

- Maybe it's time to
give the dissertation

a break for the night.

Give yourself some rest.

- Mom.

- For your own sake.

Remember the scriptures
says, "To the righteous soul

it will be said: O thou soul,

in complete rest
and satisfaction."

- What would a righteous
woman do tonight?

- Didn't you say something
about your friend's art exhibit?

Why don't you take the evening
off and go support her?

- Sasha wouldn't miss me.

- Would you stop it.

Go see it, if just
for curiosity's sake.

- I guess I'm
obsessing over this

because it's my last
paper as a student.

- If you give it too much
power it will control you.

Sweetheart, go to the gallery.

(soft piano music)

(phone vibrating)

- Hey.

- Hey, how's the work coming?

- Slow.

- Okay, well are you going
to be there all night?

- I don't know.

I may break for a few,
then get back to it.

- All right, well,
you are still coming

to the family dinner
on Sunday, right?

- Nah, I need to skip this week.

- Please, stop being a martyr

because you could
come if you wanted to.

And do you understand that
you're wasting your time

on a PhD that is
essentially worthless?

- I don't need this
from you right now.

- You are afraid
of the real world.

- What is the real world?

- Really?

Here we go again.

- No, tell me.

Accounting firms are the real
world and academia isn't.

Is that right?

You're going to cure
cancer with your MBA?

- You know what I think?

I think that I'm going to
go out with Manny tonight.

Is that cool with you?

- What, are you asking me now?

- People change and
frankly, I really don't need

any more drama in my life.

So, yes, I'm asking.

- That's the deal, right?

We can see whoever we want.

- Name, please.

- Vivian.

- Okay, you're good.

- Name, please.

- Ara Jalali.

- Sasha's friend, right?

- Yeah.

- Go ahead.

- Thanks.

- Name, please.

- Alice.

- Excuse me.

I didn't think you'd make it.

- Wow.

It all looks so beautiful.

- Thank you.

- It's amazing.

- I am so glad you are here.

- [Ara] Me, too.

- [Sasha] You know, here's going

to be coming here later.

- [Ara] Okay, which
one is it this time?

- [Sasha] Jean-Marc, of course.

My Frenchman.

- [Ara] Hmm.

- [Sasha] What about you?

- [Ara] What about me?

- Don't play dumb.

- There's no time.

- Why don't you make time?

You keep staring
at my champagne.

You want some?

- No.

I just like the smell.

- (laughs) I love you, Ara.

- Excuse me.

You have a buyer.

- Excuse me.

- Okay.

(upbeat jazz music)

- What were you thinking?

- Beg your pardon?

- When they took the
photograph of you.

What were you thinking?

- Don't know.

My friend took it.

It's more of a favor to her.

- Hmm.

You didn't answer
the question though.

- The answer is nothing.

It was a windy day,
kind of chilly.

I was just looking
up at the clouds.

- That's impossible.

No one really thinks
about nothing.

- Excuse me?

- Maybe you were thinking
about how cold it was outside,

or about how you want this
to turn out for your friend.

- It's just a turn of phrase.

- Why not say, "my
mind was wandering",

or "nothing in particular"?

Saying just "nothing"
is inaccurate.

- You take things
pretty literally.

- (laughs) I go to
school with you.

We're in the same department.

Ben Johnson.

- Oh.

- It's an amazing photograph.

Everyone's really
raving about your work.

You about to defend?

Fourth year in?

- Is it every really ready?

What about you?

- I am woefully behind actually.

That was helpful.

- What?

- What we did earlier.

Back and forth
about nothingness.

(laughs)

It was helpful.

Thank you.

Do you have five
minutes actually?

Just to bounce some
ideas off of you.

If that's cool?

- Okay.

- Yeah?

- Sure.

- I'm writing about
the concept of fate

and John Calvin's teachings
on predestination.

How they effected
western philosophy.

- So where's your trouble?

- I compiled this
great reading list,

I did all this research,

and then my first
draft just sucked.

- You didn't send any
segments to your adviser?

- Something like that.

I don't know, I think
philosophy is more about

the talking, and
flushing out of truths.

- Sounds like maybe
you procrastinate.

- How do you know
its procrastination?

- You're in your last
stage of a PhD program.

You must have written
papers in your masters

that were good enough
to get you here, right?

- Right.

- So, you've probably had
this habit for awhile.

- What about yours?

- My dissertation?

- Yeah.

- It's about Cameroonian
Philosophy, pre-colonization.

How their ideas might
have been different

without European intrusion.

It's like trying to
un-graft a vine from a tree.

- How would it have
looked, you think?

Better?

- That's subjective.

I believe thought develops
best out of captivity,

so in that respect,
yeah, better.

What about you and Calvin?

- Would it have been better
had he not come along?

- Or if his teachings
never took off.

- I don't know.

I never really weighed in
on that specific topic.

- You don't have an
opinion on how a major

movement like that
affected your religion?

- I'm agnostic.

I don't have a religion.

- Ah.

- Well, that can't
be a surprise.

Most of the
department's that way.

- Not everyone.

- Sorry.

(laughs)

Um, I'm not religious, but
I think the reformation

was more about freedom
from Rome and the Pope.

I mean, King Henry, come on.

That had nothing to do with
God, he just wanted a divorce.

I mean, maybe separation from
the papacy was a good thing.

Who wants to be Catholic, right?

(laughs)

(phone ringing)

- Um, I'd better get going.

It was nice running into you.

- Yeah, you, too.

Um, do you want to
maybe meet up again?

Like, can I get your number?

- Uh, sure.

Okay, um, here.

Let me have yours.

- Well, I'll text it to you.

- Nice try. (laughs)

Just put it in here.

- Here you go.

- Thanks.

- It was good running into you.

- You, too.

(upbeat guitar music)

- [Mother] Ara, don't forget
to schedule dinner with

Najeeb's parents this week.

I know you hear me!

(phone beeps)

(speaking foreign language)

- My faith in Allah
has been a source

of strength and peace for me.

It feels like a lifeline really.

Something that saves me from
drowning when I'm at my lowest.

That's why staying pure
before Allah is so important.

We're created to crave
God, to want Allah,

but its the human challenge
to make our bodies

and our minds sync
up with Allah.

Last Friday we talked
about how The Holy Prophet,

sallallaho alaihi wasallam said,

"The best treasure
is an obedient wife

"having a good disposition
so that her husband

"is pleased to see her
and when the husband

"is not home, she
protects her chastity."

But, at the same time I feel
like God wants us to explore

the world that He gave us.

I think that's a big part of
our relationship with Him, too.

(phone ringing)

Hello?

- Dr. Jalali, I presume?

- Not yet, Mom.

- Can you stop by the Mosque
and get the tablecloth

that I loaned to Najeeb's mom?

- Okay.

- Why don't you have
dinner with them this week?

- Mom.

(phone beeps)

Uh, Mom, I'll think about it.

I have to go.

Love you.

Bye.

(phone beeps)

(sighs)

- Here you go.

- Thanks.

- You're welcome.

- So, did you make
any progress today?

- Yeah, I finally started
my second draft last night.

- Wait.

You're just now writing
your second draft?

- I know.

I'll make it.

- You're crazy.

- You'd be proud.

I spent all morning writing.

I got through 10 pages.

- Out of what 150?

You should be
chained to your desk.

- Nah, I work better
under pressure.

- Why not set an appointment
to write everyday?

Set an alarm if you have to.

- What gave you the
inspiration for your topic?

- My experiences in Cameroon.

I would always hear my
grandmother talk about

the cycle of the human soul.

It wasn't until I was in
undergrad that I realized

that that's how my people
preserved their philosophies.

A lot of our ideas survived.

Even though the country's
been Chrisianized,

people still practice some
form of ancestor worship.

- What do they say about
the cycle of the soul?

- Well, my tribe
believes that it's synced

with the world around us,
particularly the ocean.

And that the spirit of our
ancestors live in the sea.

The good ones act as an
intermediary between us and God.

- Is that what you believe?

- Well, I believe
that when you die,

your soul enters an
in-between stage.

The souls of good people
are in a state of paradise

awaiting the Last Day.

- What about the bad people?

- For them it's not so nice.

- Hmm.

Are there many other
Muslims in Cameroon?

- Some.

I actually grew up Christian,
and then my mom got married

to my step-dad, who's Muslim,
and then we converted.

He was an American
visiting Africa.

- He was a missionary?

- No, he was a lawyer.

- But, he converted
you guys though.

- Well, he wasn't an
official missionary.

(laughs)

- Did you ever know
your biological dad?

- No, he died when I was a baby.

My step-dad died
a few years ago.

- I'm sorry.

- Time to get back to work.

- Come on, that was
like two minutes.

- That's how it should be.

Go write.

I don't want you failing
to be on my conscience.

- Meet me again tomorrow?

- Um, sure.

If I have time.

- Okay, bye.

- Bye.

(soft piano music)

- Oh, you look tired.

Sit down, have some tea.

- Najeeb and his
father came by today.

Mr. Seyed just made
partner and Najeeb

is going to be an
associate at the same firm

when he's passed the bar.

- Nice.

- You know what they came
by to talk about, right?

- I thought if I played dumb
I could avoid the subject.

- Najeeb is a hot commodity,
and he's not going

to be on the market for long.

- Mom.

- You don't even act
interested in men.

- That's because it's rare to
find one who's interesting.

- You mean all these
years in college

you haven't been
interested in anyone?

- So?

- You do like men, don't you?

- Yes!

- All I'm saying is that
you could give him a chance.

Its time.

- When I'm done with my
dissertation I'll deal with it.

- You know, Ara, maybe
that's your problem.

You look at love as
something to be dealt with.

(soft piano music)

(keyboard clacking)

- Tomorrow, I want us
to stay at my place.

- Why?

- Because, it's fucking clean!

I mean, your parents, they
hooked you up with this place.

The least that you could do
is actually keep it clean.

- I'll clean when I'm
more ahead with this.

- Yeah, well,

I think that you have done

enough work for today.

- I need to finish this, okay?

- Seriously?

I mean, God forbid that we
actually take our clothes off

and touch each other.

(laughs)

I'm going to Manny's.

(phone beeps)

- [Ben] French roast with
half and half, right?

- Thanks.

- Welcome.

- Do you have a table inside?

- You know, actually, I've
been sitting all day long.

Do you want to
maybe take a walk?

- Sure.

So, you never told
me about your family.

- [Ben] What would
you like to know?

- [Ara] Where are you from?

- [Ben] I was born in Texas,
but we moved to Seattle

when my mom got out
of the Air Force.

- [Ara] So, it was
just you and your mom?

- My step-mom, too.

- [Ara] Oh.

- She's a lesbian.

- Yeah, I got that.

So, you never knew your Dad?

- Yeah, he was a bad guy.

Roughed us up a bunch.

One night he beat us
up both pretty bad.

She grabbed me and left.

- I'm so sorry.

- [Ben] You don't have to be.

Shit happens, you know?

- [Ara] I don't think stuff
like that just happens.

- I can talk about it now.

Seems like a bad dream I used
to have when I was a kid.

- Is that when you
lost your faith?

- In what?

God?

I don't recall ever having any.

- Your parents
weren't Christian?

- No, both atheists,
grandparents, too.

I guess you could say like
a third generation skeptic.

- So you've always doubted?

- I've always maintained
that anything people say

that they know about
God, is uncertain.

- So, you're first
generation agnostic

because your parents
were atheist.

- No, they felt same way.

- Right, but you just said
that they were atheists.

Atheists aren't unsure.

They're certain that
there is no God.

- There are levels of atheism.

- Which one are you?

- Atheist-lite.

- [Ara] Was it weird
when your mom came out?

- It was odd at first, but
she was so much more happy

I didn't care and I
love my step-mom, too.

- I wonder if you would have
felt the same way in Texas.

- Why would that have mattered?

- Places can affect
people's attitudes.

- I think if you're strong
enough you can keep stuff out.

Like water-resistant wood.

When you go back to Cameroon
does it affect your attitude?

- Of course.

My grandma's crazy.

She's not religious, but somehow

our converting to
Islam traumatized her.

- You ever feel oppressed
by your religion?

Like having to
wear the headscarf?

- Its called a hijab and I
wear it because I want to.

My grandma bugs
me about it, too.

- Does it make you feel angry?

- No, just alienated.

I don't fit in back home

and I don't quite
fit in here either.

Makes me wish there was
an in-between place.

- Like somewhere you can just
be without offending anyone?

- Yeah.

Well, it's time to
get back to work.

- Ara Jalali?

- Yeah.

- (scoffs) God,
she's Sasha's friend.

So, how did you two meet?

- I've known her for
awhile, actually.

We're in the same department.

Met her in an art gallery
and we started talking.

You?

- Uh,

she's Sasha's good friend.

So, um,

are you guys going to start
seeing each other more often?

- No.

- Well,

I'm gonna go spend the night

at Manny's house tomorrow night.

- Okay, have fun.

- [Ara] That's a good one.

- Come on Ara, you
should have got that.

- [Ara] I'm out of practice.

- You used to be
really good, right?

- Good enough to
not be embarrassing.

- You ever miss it?

- I miss all my free time.

- I play in a league.

It helps me blow off steam.

Wanna come watch me sometime?

Maybe we'll grab
some food after?

I.

- Woo!

Hi, Manny.

- [Manny] Hey, baby.

(slow piano music)

(motorcycle starts)

- I was up late
writing last night

and it all of a
sudden came to me.

I'm gonna throw in a
section of Spinoza's theory.

- You added a section about
Rationalistic Pantheism?

- Mm-Hmm.

- That has nothing to
do with your topic.

- It has everything
to do with it.

I'm gonna show that
Calvin paved the way

for other thinkers like Spinoza.

So, in a way Calvinism helped
move along the Renaissance.

- You have to show evidence.

Are you sure you're not just
a Rationalistic Pantheist

and this isn't your
way of infusing

your personal beliefs
into your argument?

- I'm agnostic.

I don't think it's possible
to know if any deity exists.

Not even Spinoza's.

- Maybe some people can.

- There's no certainty, though.

Certainty is gravity,
cell division, death.

- Okay, but wouldn't you say
that some people innately

have a better understanding
of physics than others?

I mean, maybe the same is
true for supernatural things.

Maybe there are physical
ways to study metaphysics

that we just don't know about.

- Based on what people
know, right here and now,

there's no certainty.

- Well, Spinoza would argue

that the universe
is deterministic.

Everything that has
happened, or will happen,

could not have unfolded
in any other way.

And you're welcome.

- Why?

- Spinoza's deterministic
theory is a tie-in

to Calvin's predestination.

- Would you mind taking a
look at some of my writing?

- Sure.

I'm curious at this point.

Not bad.

Your prose and ideas are great.

- Thanks.

- Ever heard of spell check?

I hate spell check.

- That being the hardest
part about writing a paper.

I got a call from my
friend Sasha the other day.

She said you were seeing
one of her friends.

Gabrielle?

- Yeah.

Gab mentioned meeting
you once or twice.

- Is it weird for her
that we're hanging out?

- No.

Why would that be weird?

- Seems like she'd be jealous.

- Nah, we have an
open relationship.

- What?

- We both see other people.

She has another guy named Manny.

I'm cool with it.

- And how many women
are you seeing?

- So far, just her.

I'm pickier than she is.

- You're all crazy.

- Why?

- Don't you find that
the least bit abnormal?

- [Ben] No, we don't.

- You don't want to get married?

- No.

Not right now, no.

She feels the same way.

I mean, if it
changes, it changes.

- Only in grad-school.

- You're telling me that
you've never had a boyfriend

who you didn't want to spend
the rest of your life with?

- I haven't really dated any.

- That's a little abnormal.

- (laughs) Jerk.

When everyone started
dating in high school

none of the boys seemed
interested in me.

So, by the time we got into
college, I was too busy.

- Did you make
yourself too busy?

- Well, my parents
wouldn't allow it,

and I wasn't ready
for marriage yet,

so I put all that on the shelf.

- You couldn't date until you
were ready to get married?

- No.

Plus, I was coping out.

- How so?

- Well, I guess I used
my beliefs as a way

of avoiding all the awkwardness.

It was easier to
hide behind them.

- [Ben] Well, I've been
hiding a bit myself lately.

- You?

From what?

- I don't know, life?

It's my seventh year in.

I could have defended my
fifth year if I had won.

- Why didn't you?

- I've been a
student all my life.

I don't know what
I'd do with myself.

Are you nosing
through my mp3 list?

- Maybe.

- I don't think we're at
the music sharing stage

in our relationship,
yet. (laughs)

See anything you like?

- Um, yeah.

(slow guitar music)

I used to catch my mom
listening to music like this

when she thought no
one was watching.

* I'm not gonna run

* I'm gonna do what I need to do

* Show you affection

* Treat every moment
like it was new

* You don't have to worry

* You don't have to hide

* No need to protect
your heart from me

* Girl I'll be nice

* So call me if you witness

* Your voice is on my wishlist

* I know that it's not Christmas

* But I'm longing
for your presence

* In my every day

(alarm ringing)

- Shit.

Shit, I'm sorry.

(Ben laughs)

It goes off each day
to remind me to write.

- You listened.

(Ben laughs)

Has it helped?

- Yeah, yeah.

I feel like I'm caught up.

- Maybe I can use my
super powers to help you

with other problems
in your life.

- Oh, you have
super powers, huh?

- Yes.

What were you going
to write about?

- Spinoza and the
ripples in the universe.

About how everything
that is, or will be,

are like ripples in a pond.

All outside our control and
nothing can change them.

- What about Calvin?

- I was going to use the
tie-in that you gave me.

About how Calvin's
predestination

is a Christian version
of Spinoza's theory.

- Do you believe that?

- That Spinoza copied Calvin?

- No.

In their theories.

- I believe that what we
do causes things to happen.

And that the consequences,
they're unavoidable sometimes,

but it's only because
of the choices.

- So, cause and consequence.

- Yeah.

- You don't believe
in destiny then?

- No.

- Okay, well if reality is
all action and reaction,

then could the thing that
started it all be destiny?

- So, you're saying
that whatever caused

the ripples in the
universe, that's destiny?

- Maybe.

In Islam we call it Qadar.

- Qadar?

- Yeah, it's the Arabic
word for destiny.

We believe that everything
that has happened,

or will happen,
is known by Allah.

- So, everything is
determined by God then?

- No, its still cause
and consequence,

it's just that Allah
sees everything.

What?

- Nothing.

It's just you.

Just you.

* I've never been so comfortable

* Both inside and
out I'm glowing

* Because of your light

(prayer music)

(phone beeps)

- [Ara] Where's your silverware?

- Drawer, to the left.

- [Ara] Mind if we
eat standing up?

- Okay.

(laughs)

- At home we have to sit
until everyone's done.

- [Ben] You ever get
tired of the lifestyle?

- [Ara] Yes and no.

- Which parts?

Like having to save
yourself for marriage?

- No, but when everyone
else is doing it,

it's like you're missing
out on something.

- You think what we did
the other day is a sin?

- Yeah.

- Can you let it be on me?

- Doesn't work that way.

I have to take care of it.

- Go to confession?

- You've got your
religions mixed up.

- (laughs) Sorry.

- Our repentance is called tawba

and you do it only to Allah.

- All that because we made out?

- Is that so hard to believe?

- Yeah.

A little bit, yeah.

- You've never repented
over anything you did?

- Not anything like that, no.

It sounds horrible to me.

Having to tell someone
you're sorry all the time.

Like your constantly
going to the spiritual

principal's office or something.

- You're thinking
about it the wrong way.

Its reconciliation to God.

You repent to get closer to God.

- What else do you ask God for?

- All kinds of things.

- Yeah, like what?

- I ask Him to help people.

I also pray for my step-dad.

- You said he was
passed away, right?

- Yeah, its a dua prayer.

You say it for the dead.

- What do you ask God
to do for the dead?

- I ask him to make them
among the guided ones

and fill their
graves with light.

You ever pray before?

- (laughs) Yeah.

Once when I was a little
boy, I saw bunch of Mormons

praying in a restaurant,
then I prayed

and asked God for
a million bucks.

He didn't give it to me.

It didn't work.

- I'm going to pray
say a prayer for you.

- Come on, get out.

- I'm going to.

- No, you don't have to.

- What would you pray for?

- My Mom's sick.

- What's her name?

- [Ben] Andrea.

- Andrea.

Allah, you are ever
merciful and kind.

Great healer, please
have mercy on Andrea

and cure her from her illness.

- Hey Ben, what are you making?

Oh.

Hi, Ara.

How are you?

- I'm good.

- So,

making pasta.

Good thinking, Ben.

Hmm.

No wine?

Come on.

You're being a bad host, Ben.

- She doesn't drink, Gab.

- Really?

You're missing out.

I'm gonna have some, though.

So, tell me.

What else can't you all have?

- A few things.

Actually, I have to go.

Lots of meetings tomorrow.

- Hey, hey, I'll walk you out.

- No, it's fine.

- [Gabrielle] Well,
that was weird.

Be careful with her.

- Oh my god, you're kidding?

- I swear I'm not.

- My little girl's all grown up.

- Hardly.

- You kept everything
intact, right?

- Wow.

- I just wanna make sure you're
all locked up down there.

But, seriously though,
how do you feel?

- I can't shake the feeling
that I'm screwing everything up.

- Screwing what up?

- My life, family, God.

- Sometimes you have to
do what's right for you.

(knocking on door)

- Come in.

- Oh, hi, guys.

- It's been awhile.

- Hi, Ara.

- Hi.

- I actually wanted to
talk with you a moment.

- Okay.

- Well, unless you guys are
in the middle of something.

- No, it's fine.

- I'll leave you girls to talk.

(Gabrielle clears throat)

- Look,

I know the whole thing
with you and Ben.

I just wanted to let you
know I'm cool with it.

- So, you both
have other people?

- (laughs) Well, I don't believe

that you ever truly
have somebody.

I think we're more
like jellyfish.

They don't really ever
hold onto their mates.

They just kind of float
around touching each other.

- Is that what you believe?

- It's what I think is true.

And I like you.

And just because you're
connecting with Ben,

doesn't mean that
there should be any

awkwardness between us.

(uptempo rock music)

- Mind if I have a beer?

- Sure, go ahead.

- What does it taste like?

- It has the bite like a soda,

but there's no sweetness to it.

So, bitter and sharp.

- That doesn't sound very good.

- Want a sip?

- Okay.

That's gross!

- Eileen, tell your
daughter I said thank you

for watching the kids.

- She was glad to do it.

How long before Ara
finishes her degree?

- This semester, thank Allah.

- Is that Ara?

- You need your eyes checked.

Ara's a good two inches
shorter than her.

(phone beeps)

- You okay?

- It's just that all my
life I've been taught

never to this before marriage.

- Is that what you want?

Hey, hey.

We don't have to do anything

that you don't want to do, okay?

I think people should
be able to explore

this kind of stuff
when they're ready.

If you're not, that's okay.

That's okay.

(guitar strings plucking)

(breathes deeply)

Hey.

- I can't stay here.

I just need my things.

- [Ben] So, what?

You're not gonna
give us a chance?

- There is no us.

Hi, Mom.

- Hi.

- Are you okay?

- I'm just a little tired.

Did you have a good
time last night?

- It was all right.

- Hmm.

- Allah, forgive me.

Allah, forgive me.

Allah, forgive me.

Hey.

Can we talk for a minute?

- Yeah, come.

- I owe you an apology
for the other night.

- I just want to know what I did

to make you run out
of there like that.

- No, it has nothing to
do with you, I swear.

I know you don't get it,
but I can't live like this.

You're a great guy and
it wasn't fair for me

to make you think that I could.

I'm sorry.

- Well, apology
accepted, I guess.

- You sure?

- Yeah, I'm fine.

I was worried about you.

- I'll be okay.

- Tawba?

- Tawba.

- Okay.

- Well, I have to go.

- Okay.

- Okay.

Bye.

(phone beeps)

- [Ben] Did you have a
bad weekend or something?

- No, I was just thinking
about us and I reconsidered.

- Okay.

- I was torn between
what I wanted and God.

I didn't think I
could have both.

- But, you're not torn anymore?

- I think...

I have hope that God won't

cast me out for
being with someone.

- What if there wasn't
a god and you spent

your entire life doing
things you didn't have to do

to impress an imaginary friend?

- You really believe
God is imaginary?

- Most intellectuals
in society think so.

- There are other
intellectuals in the world

besides the ones in
the US and the UK.

If you interview
professors in India

they'd give you very
different answers.

- That doesn't
mean they're right.

- Look at the cognitive
difference between
us and insects.

You have creatures whose
memory lasts a few seconds

and then there's humanity that

can decipher how stars function.

- So?

- So, if we're that much
greater than creatures

we can observe, doesn't
it stand to reason

that there are creatures
higher than us?

- Sure.

Worthy of our worship?

Not so much.

- So arrogant.

- Why, because I don't want
to pay senseless homage

to something that could be
as made-up as Santa Clause?

- No, because you think
there's a possibly

that a God exists, but you
don't think it's worth our time.

- I was reading the other
day how a group of scientists

figured out how to create
matter out of light.

(laughs)

Why isn't that praiseworthy?

Why can't humanity focus
on our own accomplishments?

- The atheist is most happy
when he gets to play god.

- All cultures invent
these tall tales,

or exaggerate things, to
give themselves significance.

Like what you were telling
me about your tribe

submersing themselves
in the ocean

so they can talk to ghosts.

You actually believe that?

- What if I did?

The West declared the
City of Troy was a myth

until someone found it and then
they had to eat their words.

The earth was flat until the
West decided it was round.

Before they were forcing
us to be Christians,

now they want us to be agnostic.

God only exists when
you say He does, right?

Those ideas and
stories you're mocking

are the dignity of
a lot of people.

- I think it's the kind of thing

you make up when you have none.

- This was a mistake.

Thanks for clearing
it up for me.

(soft piano music)

- So, are you going to
tell me what's wrong?

Ara, please.

Sweetheart, tell me.

I'm here for you.

I know what you're
going through.

I thought I was in love with a
man I met at university, too.

- Before you met my father?

- Yes.

It's hard when you meet
folks in a certain way

at a certain time.

It's like they were
tailored just for you.

- What was he like?

- Oh, you know, nice, and fun.

For the first time I felt
free, like I had my own life

and I could do
whatever I wanted.

- [Ara] Why didn't it last?

- I realized he wasn't
really serious about life.

He was more interested in going
to one party after another

than settling down
and having a family.

His lifestyle was unstable.

Just too crazy for me.

When I came to my senses,
I broke off with him,

and soon after that,
I met your father,

and he was the right man for me.

- Did you ever hear
about these couples

in open relationships?

- Of course, it happens
back home all the time.

Some of the women,
they just put up with.

Ara, are you?

Oh, why would you be in that
kind of relationship, huh?

- He has this woman he's been
seeing since before we met.

- Ara, you know
that isn't right.

I can see how unhappy
you are about it.

Ara, this is going to make you
an outcast in our community.

You know that, right?

The men in this
country, they will not

understand something like that.

They'll judge you.

- I just don't know how
I got wrapped up in it.

- You can unwrap yourself.

Sweetheart, you deserve better.

When all this fire and passion
dies away, and it will,

you'll only find true
freedom and peace in Allah.

(keyboard clacking)

(knocking on door)

- Come in.

(knocking on door)

- You're Ben Johnson?

- Yeah.

You must be Ara's mom?

- No, sir.

I do not wish to
shake your hand.

- I beg your pardon?

- You have been
defiling my daughter

and you should make this right.

- I don't know what
you're talking about.

- You have been with her.

She's never been
with a man before.

You understand?

You're ruining her
for her husband.

My daughter is a good woman
and she deserves to be with

someone who's going to
treat her with respect.

- I don't think there's
anything wrong with what we did.

- If you want what's best
for her, leave her alone,

or you have to marry her.

And women in Islam
cannot marry outside it.

So, are you going to
convert and then break up

with that other friend of yours?

Do you see yourself
married to Ara?

You heard what I asked you.

You understand?

You're making her an outcast

in the community
if this continues.

She'll have trouble finding
a good husband, and for what?

So you can feel like a big man?

If you don't have honorable
intentions for her,

then leave her alone
and let someone

who deserves her step up.

- Hey.

I hate to just drop
in on you like this.

- [Ben] It's okay.

- Look, I know you're busy,

but have you seen
Gabrielle today?

- No, it's been
a couple of days.

- Not a word?

- No.

She does this all the time.

She's probably with her folks.

- She hasn't been returning my
calls and I just got worried.

Anyways, I just wanted to
make sure she's all right.

- I'm sure she's okay.

Is there something
else on your mind, man?

- Do you love her?

- I don't know.

- Right, that's a no.

- What is love?

- Jesus, I forgot I'm
talking to damn philosopher.

- I'm not being facetious.

How do you know you're
in love with someone?

- I can't stop
thinking about her.

I go crazy when she's gone, I
go crazy when she's over here.

I have never felt like
this with another woman.

- Yeah?

- When we're together
it just feels,

it feels dangerous and right.

You feel the same way?

- No.

With Gabrielle, it's
comfortable and easy.

But no,

the planets don't align.

- What about with the
other woman you're seeing?

- In a weird way, yeah.

- There's your answer, man.

Do the right thing.

Make us all happy.

I think she should
move in with me.

(motorcycle starts)

(guitar strings plucking)

- Hey, I am so sorry
I was such an ass.

Can you forgive me, please?

I'm sorry.

Sorry.

- You're better than this.

You know that.

- Mom, I just need some
time alone with him

to figure some things out.

- Have you thought
about the example

you're setting for
Mohammed and Myriam?

- Did you tell them?

- No.

Are you going to marry this man?

Have children with him?

- Mom, I love you,
but I have to go.

- How are you
feeling after today?

- Good.

- That's good.

- Are you still
talking to Gabrielle?

- No.

- Did you love her?

- There were times
when I thought I did.

Being with her was
comforting, easy.

But, we, uh,

we didn't fit in a lot of ways,

and I felt guilty for
not making it fit.

Was afraid of being
alone, I guess.

- Why?

- Ever since I moved
out of my Mom's house,

I always have to have
a woman around me.

It's ironic, since I was
afraid of committing myself.

It felt like the
beginning of death.

Thought love would step
in and solve everything,

but what is love?

(Ara laughing)

You believe God hears
all your prayers?

- Of course.

- [Ben] Hmm.

- You think its crazy, I know.

- Nah, actually I'm
a little jealous.

- Why would that
make you jealous?

- Because its something
I can't experience.

I need evidence for everything.

The fact that you're so
sure without it, well,

makes me a little jealous.

- You've never thought
there might be a God?

- [Ben] I thought there
could be one once.

- When?

- This one time I
was thinking about

the origins of everything,
and the universe.

- What do you think
about the soul?

- I don't know.

Define it and I will tell
you what I think about it.

- Its your immaterial essence.

The youness of you.

- Like a part of you that's
separate from your body?

- [Ara] Yeah.

- Sounds like a nice idea.

Makes me wish I had one.

- You have a soul, silly.

- I'm Nosferatu.

- Stop it.

- I'm Nosferatu.

(Ara laughing)

I'm gonna have some
friends over tomorrow.

Is that okay?

- Okay.

- You sure?

- Yeah, I'm fine.

- [Ben] They want to meet you.

- [Man] Yo, shot.

(upbeat rock music)

- All right, all
right, all right.

Okay, um, black horsey.

(laughing)

- Checkmate.

That's on you.

- Fuck you, asshole.

Huh?

I yield.

- No, it's not.

- Are you even listening?

- No, listen to me.

What I'm telling you, it's
complete and utter bullshit.

- No, it's not.

- You're telling me
with a straight face

that the sexual revolution
didn't liberate women?

- What I'm saying is
that women, as a group,

stopped paying attention
to who they gave it up to.

That's caused us to be
objectified more, that's all.

- (laughs) Its true.

We usually don't say
no if its offered.

- But, why shouldn't a woman
fuck whoever she wants to fuck?

- Because we're the ones
who get stuck with the kids

when the asshole runs.

Like you.

You wouldn't want a baby with
some random dude, would you?

- [Ben] Morning.

Sorry to interrupt.

- That's okay.

- You all done?

- Yeah.

- Yeah.

Every morning, right?

- Yeah.

Did you have fun last night?

- Yeah, it wasn't bad.

It was kind of awkward for you.

(Ara laughs)

Sorry.

- A little bit.

- Yeah.

My friends drink a lot, sorry.

- Yeah.

- Yeah.

- The girls were pretty funny.

They were talking
about what kind of man

they'd want to have kids with.

- God.

(laughs)

- You ever want kids?

- Uh, one day, yeah.

Think it'd be a nightmare
now though, jeez.

- Why would it be a nightmare?

- Take over your life.

Tie you down to some
screaming spawn.

- Well, You were a screaming
spawn once, too, you know?

- Yeah.

Drove my dad nuts.

Think it's partly why
he was such a psycho.

One half PTSD and the other
half unwanted children.

You know he won all these
medals in the Air Force

for leadership, so it
couldn't have been the stress.

He used to throw
glasses at my head.

Crazy shit.

I honestly think that if he
would have had just the room

to be himself, he could
have been a better man.

- You busy today?

- [Ben] I've got a
meeting with my adviser.

You?

- I was going to work
on my dissertation.

- Okay.

I'm going to be late.

- Okay.

- [Ben] Don't clean, okay?

- Okay.

(slow strings music)

(knocking on door)

- Ara, can we talk to you?

This isn't the answer.

I love you.

Allah loves you.

- Mom.

- Is this what you want?

Are you really happy like this?

- Mom, you know I love you.

This is just something I
need to figure out on my own.

- I will wait on you forever.

Do the right thing, Ara.

- Wow.

I don't know how you did it,
but this looks ready to defend.

- Not bad, huh?

- It's good.

Thoughtful, well-written.

What happened?

(laughs)

I'm serious.

This is a world away
from your last draft.

- Yeah, I guess it is.

- Ergo my question,
what happened?

(water splashing)

(determined music)

- [Qismah Voiceover] Do
the right thing, Ara.

(rhythmic clapping)

(waves crashing)

- Ara.

- [Gabrielle] Hi.

- [Ben] Hey.

- So, how did your meeting go?

- Great.

All I have to do is defend now.

- Hmm.

Well, I have some good news.

I was accepted into
Georgetown law.

- Wow.

Congrats.

- (laughs) Thank you.

It was the first school
that I applied to.

- So, you'll be moving
there after the summer?

- Right after
graduation, actually.

- You didn't even tell
me you were applying.

- Yeah, well, I'm probably
going to be heading there in May

because I want to get
the lay of the land

before the fall semester starts.

And, um, well,

I wanted to see if you
would come with me.

I'm pregnant.

- Are you sure?

- Yep.

I missed my period and
I went to the doctor

and I got the call today.

I'm keeping the baby.

- I'm not saying
this to be an ass,

but are you sure it's mine?

- Yes, I'm sure it's yours.

You are the only one I have
had unprotected sex with.

You know, I just
assumed that you would

want to be involved in
the life of your child.

- No, I mean, you're right.

I'm just processing this.

- [Andrea] Brr,
it's getting chilly.

Should have brought
a jacket today.

(phone ringing)

Oh, it's Ben.

Hi, Ben.

What's going on, stranger?

I miss talking to you.

- Tell Ben I love him.

- Lana says hi and
that she loves you.

- I missed you all.

Sorry, I've been busy getting
my dissertation together.

- [Andrea On Phone]
How's it coming?

- It's ready to go.

- Are you all right, Benny?

You're voice sounds strange.

- I haven't been too
careful here lately.

Gabrielle's pregnant.

- Oh, wow.

- Crazy, huh?

- [Andrea On Phone] How
do you feel about this?

- Shaken up.

She's going to
Georgetown in the fall

and she wants me
to come with her.

- And you don't want to?

- No.

There's someone else.

- [Andrea On Phone]
Someone else?

Benny, this is soap
opera stuff, hon.

- We have an open relationship.

I'm an idiot for getting
myself into this.

Gabrielle, she and
I were just good

for the time being, you know?

Then, I met this other
girl who I have a real

connection with, and I
just think I ruined it.

Just like that.

- Ben, Ben, Benjamin.

You couldn't be like
that man if you tried.

Do you want to live the rest
of your life with Gabrielle?

- No.

No.

- Well, could you
be a good father

if you weren't living with her?

- Yeah.

- Well, it sounds
to me like you've

answered your own question.

- [Ben] Hey.

- Hey.

How'd your day go?

- Not bad.

I didn't mean for you
to clean all this.

- It's okay.

- I said I'd clean.

- It's fine.

- You're too good to me.

You shouldn't have to
take care of my mess.

- I work better when
things are clean.

You hungry?

- Yeah, food sounds good.

There's something
I've got to tell you.

- Something wrong?

- Yeah.

I had a weird day today.

I got some news.

- What is it?

- I don't know how
to tell you this.

- [Ara] What?

- Gabrielle's pregnant.

I just found out today.

Listen, I'm going to tell
her that even with the baby,

I'm still going to be with you.

Ara.

Can you listen?

Fuck.

I didn't do this on purpose.

Can you give me the dignity of
listening to me for a second?

I need you to listen to me.

(thunder rumbling)

- It's very early in
your first trimester,

so you have lots of options.

I have an opening as
early as next Wednesday.

- Will it hurt?

- Some women have pain like
cramps during the procedure,

but it's very safe.

But, you don't have to
make a decision today.

(solemn music)

- Hi.

I talked to your mom.

She's worried about you.

- I figured as much.

- [Najeeb] I've been
worried about you, too.

There anything I can do?

- I don't think anyone
can help me now.

- Ara, my father and
I have been pushy.

I'm sorry for that.

Look, I don't care
what's happened.

I want to help you,
if you'll let me.

- Professors, thank you
for your time here today.

My dissertation focuses on
the tenants of Calvinism

and how that philosophy's
spread across Western Europe.

It affected the
politics, and culture.

- And contrary to statistics,
Cameroonian philosophies

still thrive within
Christianity much like

the Cult of Isis survives
within Roman Catholicism

as the veneration of Mary.

- [Female Professor]
That was brilliant, Ara.

- Thank you.

- [Female Professor]
Congratulations on
a remarkable defense

and on your engagement.

- Thank you.

- [Female Professor] So,
will you be Dr. Jalali?

- No, I'm choosing to
take my husband's name.

(solemn piano music)

- Just have a seat over there.

- [Ben] How'd it go in there?

- I did okay.

You?

- Pretty sure I passed.

- You think so?

- If I would have
done this a month ago

I would have said no.

You?

- I passed, I think.

- I heard you got engaged.

- Yeah.

- Congrats.

- Thanks.

What are you going
to do after this?

- Move to DC to
be near Gabrielle.

I got a teaching
fellowship there.

I hope you two are happy.

- [Secretary] Ben, Ara.

- Listen, I just want to say.

- No, Ben.

Not here.

- [Secretary] They're
ready for you, Ben.

- [Ara] What were you
going to write about?

- [Ben] Spinoza and the
ripples in the universe.

About how everything
that is, or will be,

are like ripples in a pond.

All outside our control and
nothing can change them.

- [Ara] Do you believe that?

(slow guitar music)

* I see wind in the trees

* I see the leaves
shiver in the breeze

* And the stone so
carelessly thrown

* Will change the surface
of the water as we've known

* I see stars standing my ground

* They've shifted like
they've moved around

* My dimming sight

* Oh, sweet time

* When I was yours
and you were mine

* Fate's a cold face

* She stares unmoved

* As we make our plans
and do the things we do

* But how we tempted
her until the end

* Though we loved and lost

* I'd do it all again

* Since the start

* Since the fall

* There's someone trying
to make sense out of it all

* It seems a waste to give
the tools to till the land

* Then turn around and take
the harvest from our hands

* Fate's a cold face

* She stares unmoved

* As we make our plans
and do the things we do

* And how we tempted
her until the end

* Though we loved and lost

* I'd do it all again

(guitar strings plucking)

(dramatic string music)