All language subtitles for The Premise s01e05 Butt Plug.eng

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Original subtitles

It doesn't matter what I'm saying.

It's just, "Oh, that's nice. He showed up."

[music]

The season finale of The Premise is a philosophical fable

about the power of redemption versus the drive for revenge

and whether it's possible for a human being to outrun his fate

or rewrite his destiny.

It's called "โ€œButt Plug".

[music]

[dramatic classical music]

We could dip into the kids' college funds.

That's their future.

I know, but if we lose the house,

we're going to have to move out of the school district, so...

I really think you should just-

No, no, no, no, no...

What do you have to lose?

You're working on a financial services company.

He is the biggest international banking CEO--

No.

No.

I was terrible to him.

It's a shame in my life how I treated that kid.

It was 30 something years ago.

I would think he would forgive you.

He shouldn't forgive me.

I wouldn't forgive me.

What did you tease him for?

[exhales]

You know, for whatever.

For being...

different.

for being poor.

For being poor?

Eli, he's one of the richest men in the world,

of all the things in the world

to have a sense of humor about.

Look, that's what you should say to him.

How sorry you are.

How funny this is.

That obviously, this is karma.

That you ended up having to turn to him.

He'd never take the meeting.

Just reach out and see.

Swallow your pride.

It's not pride.

It's shame.

Nobody ever says swallow your shame.

Yeah, no, I agree.

It's a weird phrase.

[phone intercom]

Eli Spector, he says you grew up together.

Eli Spector.

After all these years.

No, no. To the contrary.

For you, I can make the time.

[music]

Hi.

[laughs]

Um, wow.

Nice to uh--

It's been so long.

So long.

Obviously, so much has changed and...

for you, especially.

You still live in Victory?

Yeah.

Yeah.

I remember you were living in this beautiful house

right next to Crystal Lake,

always in the newest, finest clothes.

Yeah, the, the--

the place has changed,

you know.

Not what it used to be.

Do you know the story of the ship of Theseus?

[laughs]

Never paid much attention in school.

A ship at sea over time has its planks replaced one by one.

At a certain point after many years,

none of its planks are the same.

Is it still in fact the same ship?

[chuckles]

[poof]

I mean uh...

I just uh...

Your success, it just blows me away,

and then you really earned everything on pure merit.

What is merit, when you really think about it?

Inner qualities, outer influences,

Is any of that really merit?

Or are we just sailing blindly along a scripted sea of fate

on a winding path that would seem all too obvious

to anyone looking back?

Hey, man, I---

I just have to get this out of the way.

I uh...

I feel terrible,

absolutely awful, um...

about the way I was,

and um...

I just want a chance to raise my kids right.

And um...

[clears throat]

We were children, Eli.

We're different now.

And without those obstacles, I wouldn't be who I am today.

It motivated me, Eli.

It still motivates me.

And the more success I have, the more I realize that

the only things that really matter are the elemental things,

the personal things,

like this lunch with you.

So---

How can I help?

[exhales]

Okay.

[clears throat]

You've heard of the blockchain and

I've heard of the blockchain,

but 97% of insurance providers have never heard of-

I'd say no--

Stop, I'm sorry.

Um,

You're still doing it.

Blockchain...

You're still following what the popular kids are doing.

You're better than that, Eli.

See, in business, I've learned to not follow

what the popular kids are already doing because

the opportunity is definitionally marginal.

If you want a transformational opportunity,

you need to find something that everyone else sees as worthless

and elevate it to something priceless.

Well, that um--

sounds very wise and uh,

it's certainly worked for you,

so thanks.

Do you know what would be of interest to me?

A butt plug.

A butt plug?

Just a butt plug?

No,

not just a butt plug.

A great butt plug.

A butt plug the likes of which the world has never seen.

A but plug that once the world does see it, changes the world.

If you were to bring me that product,

yes, that would be of great interest to me.

You see,

the difference between your face and mine right now,

the difference between our faces is the human definition

of an arbitrage opportunity.

That is profit.

I don't quite-

Of course it would have to be something extraordinary,

something that would require your complete and total focus.

You would have to quit your project and

devote yourself full time to developing a product that

would be worthy of my consideration,

but if you did,

I would schedule a meeting of the full board

of my company a year from today,

and you would have the full and undivided attention

of me and my associates.

Are you saying...

you want me to quit my job--

and...

spend the next year of my life developing a--

butt plug?

Would there be a contract?

No, no contract,

no promise of any kind other than a meeting.

No, you would be pursuing this on pure speculation

based on the well-established history

I have of proposing things

that sound outlandish at first

only to be met with unprecedented success.

This could be the next one of those,

or it could be the worst decision you ever make.

Of course, at the end of the day,

you don't bet on an idea,

you bet on a person, so you need to place a bet.

You need to look into my eyes and ask yourself

whether for a person in my position,

mercy is a stronger satisfaction

than revenge.

You can stay on the path you're currently on,

or...

drop what you're doing and come to my office a year from today

with a butt plug that will change the world and

your life along with it.

Um, what ah--

is a butt plug?

Sounds like you have a long journey ahead,

and you've already taken the first step.

Hm, butt plug.

I had to look it up.

Well...

How hard is it to make a butt plug?

The way he wants to do it?

Take everything I've got.

There's no half-ass in this, Susie,

so to speak, I'd have to--

quit the startup.

You'd have to take a second job.

Is he fucking with you?

What if he is?

What if he's not?

[phone rings]

Eli...

I'm glad to hear it.

Yeah, we'll be in touch.

[music]

One of the keys to a butt plug is

you don't want to go too small.

- Ahh... - Small ones fall out.

It needs to be wide enough for the sphincters to grip it and

hold it in place.

[background conversations]

Got you.

[background conversations]

Fuck!

[TV: Oh, God. Oh, God.]

[moans]

Uh, good, not great.

I feel like you're losing sight of how the insertion goes.

Right. Right.

I definitely think material-wise, metal is perfect.

It feels better in your butt, in my opinion.

[music]

[manufactuing sounds]

[alarm goes off]

[rhythmic music playing]

My friend.

Oh... [laughter]

Oh, my God.

Are you excited?

Oh--

I'm fucking terrified.

[laughs]

Well, the whole board is here as promised.

London, Dubai, Buenos Aires,

they all flew in from around the world.

- Really? - Mm-hmm

Just for a butt plug.

[chuckles]

It's not just a butt plug, is it?

I asked for something transcendent,

something revolutionary,

something worth an hour of my time and a year of yours.

You're not telling me now that it's just a butt plug?

Everything I have--

is riding on this butt plug.

Okay.

The people you're about to meet are my colleagues,

and in many cases, they're my friends,

but they are not my peers.

My peers are the other chairmen

of the world's largest companies.

You see what I'm saying?

We grew up shoulder to shoulder

but we were not peers.

You see what I'm saying?

No.

I don't want an object whose peers are other butt plugs.

I want a butt plug whose peers are

the other great objects in existence.

Whenever you're ready.

My friends, thank you all for coming.

It's my great pleasure to introduce you to Eli Spector.

We've known each other since childhood.

And the time has changed us all so much.

Uh, [laughs]

None more than your chairman here.

[laughs]

Eli, it's a pleasure to introduce you

to the board of directors.

To your immediate left, with the confident smile, is Sandy.

Sandy has led two Fortune 500 companies,

but her sense of humor has remained very down to earth.

To her left is Alice.

Alice comes all the way to us from London and this is in fact

her first time traveling since the loss of her husband.

My condolences, Alice.

The man with the generous light shining through

his eyes is Charles.

Charles and his partner Steven run our charitable foundation.

Wonderful to meet you, Eli.

Thank you for the work you do.

And, of course, you'll recognize Gail Truesdale.

Ambassador.

Troy is the youngest member of our board,

a former Fields Medal winner.

That's a prize given out to--

The most gifted statistical analyst of his generation.

I'm well aware, Troy, or if I may, Dr. Ozdemir.

Last but not least is Marcus 'The Moneyman' Stevens

[chuckles]

representing our emerging investments arm.

Excited and pumped.

[chuckles]

All of us, Marcus, all of us are very excited and pumped.

[chuckles]

Eli.

[clears throat]

I'm here to present a butt plug.

Come on. Laugh.

Butt plug.

Come on, it's funny.

And, those are funny words.

It's funny that I'm here, a stranger,

a total nobody standing in front of all of you saying,

I'm here to present a butt plug,

right?

Come on, let's be honest, when we hear a butt plug,

we assume it's a crude punch line to a cruder joke or a--

cheap accessory to a--

cheaper experience.

That ends today.

[swooshing sound]

How do you find the most value?

You search for that which is the most undervalued.

One of the great financial thinkers of our time said that.

In fact, that thinker happens to be in this room right now.

But, I want to take you on my journey in finding value

in the undervalued today.

Now, the sex toy industry, is a $50 billion a year industry

growing at nearly 25% a year for the last 5 years.

Now, as Marcus will be the first to tell you,

those numbers are enough to motivate

just about any company in the world,

but that's not this company's philosophy.

Follow the magic and the math will follow.

The world, since Daniel and I were children, has changed.

And, the inspiring story of our time is

the revolution we're living through

and our approaches to intimacy and identity.

Once marginalized,

orientations and identities are rapidly fighting

for representation and respect in a more

inclusive society they're defining.

With that sexual practices once trivialized and diminished,

with even harmless-seeming mockery and jokes,

move from the shadows into the sunlight of society.

So, that leaves us with a great story,

but with all due respect to the foundation Charles runs,

you guys aren't a charity-- [chuckles]

and a great past but--

you guys don't have a time machine.

You don't, do you?

[laughter]

No, what you want to know about is the future.

Now, when we've seen this growth parabola and

comparable industries that develop in tandem with

a cultural shift, there's a fascinating commonality.

Whether it's computing or high-end coffee,

a product at the center of a cultural shift reaches

the exact point we're at today when an object,

a singular object emerges that hits the nexus between

elite status and mass appeal and powers the leap from

cultural uniqueness to cultural ubiquity.

With coffee in the 1990s, it was the Starbucks cup.

With computing in the 2000s, it was the iPhone.

This point of no return is when an industry coalesces around

its DSO, its dominant singular object.

Where are you getting this--

This theory of analysis?

This is my original analysis.

It's proprietary, but I'd be more than honored

to share it with you if we work together and

apply it to all sorts of phenomenon.

But um...

Back to the bottom line--

[laughter]

if you will--

What will be that object in this industry?

The Harvard Medical School Center for Study of

Sexual Practices conducted studies on every

sexual and gender identity.

I obtained a researcher pass to visit them and

see what they learned.

Their conclusion was the obvious.

There is one anatomical point with a far higher incidence

of sexual responsiveness across all human beings than any other.

Not more sensitivity, mind you,

but more universally reported sensitivity by a mile.

Why are the numbers so high?

Because it's a body part virtually every human being has.

[laughter]

So,

we've established the potentially dominant

universality of this object in response to one cultural shift:

sexual and gender identity.

But, there's a second shift we're experiencing:

the nature of intimacy.

The two fastest-growing intimacy statuses with which people

self-identify are, one, people who are solitary by preference,

and two, people in a relationship in which

another partner is not physically present.

Now, the object I'm presenting today is not only an object

with near-identical responses across all sexual and

gender identities, it's also an object with near-identical

responses across all intimacy identities.

That means, in intimate partnerships as well as

those without partners or

without partners physically present.

And Troy, you don't need a Fields Medal to know that when

you overlay two growth curves, the curves don't double,

they grow-

Exponentially.

But that's just the dominance of a $50 billion a year industry.

Why quit there?

Stop.

Stop.

I need a break.

[background noise]

This is him?

He is a madman.

- Oh, adorable. - Yeah.

So, we've established the potential of this object

to ride this cultural wave,

Right? But--

How could it do something more important?

How could it expand the wave all together?

Let me start with an example you might find amusing.

Vibrators are a $3 billion a year business.

Not bad. Not bad.

You know what's a $7 billion dollar a year business?

Hand-held personal massagers.

[laughter]

[laughter continues]

[laughter continues]

I'll wait.

The point being, many consumers need a cover story

to purchase an object designed for sexual pleasure

which alone accounts for enormous hidden numbers.

But, what if their cover story wasn't just a cover story?

What if this were an object that--

provided relief to nearly 40 million

people a year who suffer from constipation?

What if it had a built-in Wi-Fi-enabled camera

that could automatically operate a colonoscopy

saving as many as 10,000 lives a year?

Do you think $599 is too much to charge

for a previously marginalized object?

I did.

So, I took it upon myself to lead a dozen focus groups

all of which came to the same conclusion.

Even though $411 is the break-even point,

the price point the consumer preferred wasn't $499, $599,

or even $799.

Customers want to pay $999 for this object.

Because the extra cost was what helped

counteract the stigma of a butt plug

and turn it into a genuine "Veblen good."

Like a Lamborghini or a bottle of fine cognac,

this is the type of good where the customer

actually wants to overpay.

$1,000 bucks is a lot, but it's my health, you know.

It's important.

Accounting for this astronomical profit margin.

incredible--

But what really makes something worth it to a consumer?

If it's a great investment.

I know what you're thinking.

How could something like this be a great investment?

Well, it would be if, say--

it were made with zinc.

And if I had pre-negotiated zinc futures with the government

of Bolivia to ensure that even a moderate order hits a threshold

that will drive up the price of the metal

so high that anyone who owns the object

can rest assured it will appreciate in value

whether or not they ever take it out of the box...

which I didn't.

Put another way, anyone who owns this butt plug can

at any point in times of financial emergency,

melt it down for parts in case times get tight,

and make a substantial profit on their purchase.

But I don't think they'll want to.

How do you find the most value?

You search for that which is the most undervalued.

We all know what it's like to be undervalued,

but I know both sides of it.

I undervalued someone.

I know I undervalued him not because he went on

to become one of the richest men in the world,

but because when he had no reason to--

he still gave me a project

to change the last plank

on a ship.

Some say a man's character is his fate.

Others say fate is the joke a man's life

plays on his character.

Where are you getting this?

Revenge is the expression of our yearning to bend

the chaotic world towards balance, justice, logic,

but mercy--

mercy has no logic.

It's the divine.

It's the expression of a universe that makes no sense.

A universe that has something when it should have nothing.

It's the spark of the divine,

of a new beginning out of nothing

with the potential of the infinite.

Anyway...

that's what this butt plug means to me.

I'm curious to hear what it means to you.

You spent a year on this?

Yes.

It shows.

Thank you.

Look, Daniel, brought us in from all over the world.

He clearly wanted us to be here for this,

and I can see why.

We're more of a financial services company,

but, the principles that you applied to this

couldn't be more in line with what we've been searching for.

We haven't done products here.

We've always had a family-friendly brand.

But you have made a great case

as to why that might not rule this out.

I'm curious as to what Daniel thinks.

You can look me in the eyes and tell me you put

your entire heart

and soul

and vulnerability into this presentation?

Answer carefully--

Answer honestly.

Yes.

The answer is yes.

I'll tell you exactly what you can do with your butt plug.

You can shove it--

up your ass.

[laughter]

[classical music playing]

[laughter continues]

Thank you.

[exhales]

How did it go?

Now I'll be the greatest regret--

of his life.

[classical music plays]

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