Original subtitles

Provided by explosiveskull https://twitter.com/kaboomskull

I didn't expect to see you tonight.

Same.

Um, Donna asked if I would take some photos

of the improv show.

I'm not stalking you or anything.

Did you play?

Yeah.

Yeah, I played.

It's not as bad as you think.

- It's not. - You didn't see it.

You're too hard on yourself.

I'm sorry for not calling you after...

I should have called you and I didn't.

Oh.

Um, ah...

It's alright.

I know you're really busy.

You are busy, right?

Yes.

Very busy.

Okay.

This was a mistake.

I should go.

Okay.

Focus on the future.

Get away.

Hey!

A great show today.

What?

Um, your show, the place with all the chairs.

It was great. So...

- What? - Yeah.

I saw the show and I thought you were great,

so I thought it would be okay to just tell you

that I saw the show and that you were great.

You were really great. I just want you to know

you were really great at the show.

You came to the show?

- Um hmm. - Why did you chase me?

- What? - Why did you chase me?

You started running.

I thought I wouldn't be able to get you to say, "Good show."

I was just waiting to say, "Good show,"

then I caught up to you and I wanted to say "Good show."

You're very fast.

Jesus.

Okay, I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. I didn't mean it.

It's fine. I'm Barnaby.

Yeah...

I should probably get going, it's late, you know.

But...

It was real nice to meet you, and...

I just wanted you to know that, um,

you're a great man.

Talented and courageous. Just really great, so...

Thank you for that.

Okay.

- Okay. - Okay.

Okay. Okay.

It was good.

Okay.

So, just...

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Did you play?

Hey, this is Barney Bates

from the sketch group Fart Squad Five.

I've just got a text from Vince

saying he was cancelling the drinks meeting

we had set for tonight,

and I was just calling let you guys know

that we are available for rescheduling

whenever it works best for Vince.

We can come to him,

or if he wants to meet us somewhere,

we can meet somewhere else.

We are very flexible,

and we'd love to make this happen.

This is very important for us.

We would love to make this happen.

So, give me a call.

I will be available 24/7 for you guys.

I will make sure my phone is on and in my pocket at all times.

Just really want this to happen.

Okay, thanks so much. Bye.

Shit!

I can't.

Okay, Fart Squad.

Today's focus is on million hit ideas.

If we can't generate at least a million views,

I don't want to waste time talking about it.

Thursday to do list: 9:00 a.m. sketch group.

But what if we have an idea that only we think is fun?

Fame and fortune first, Zoe, then we can start having fun.

10:30 screenwriting.

Hook.

We need to be able to sell these scripts in a single line.

If I can't pitch this in an elevator,

it's not worth pitching.

Twelve thirty, sketch marketing.

We want to be taken seriously.

Okay, we want agents

not to cancel on us last minute for no reason.

It's never gonna happen if we're walking around town

with Fart Squad Five t-shirts on.

Did you get a whole box of them?

2:00 p.m. Improv.

Hey, you're back.

Yeah, I had a big meeting

I had to cancel, so I have some time.

- I'll use it to my advantage. - Great.

Listen, Barnaby, you know,

you've taken this workshop half a dozen times,

and I haven't seen you get off the back line once.

Improv's not for everybody.

No, I'm fine. I just need reps.

Okay, you can do whatever you want. It's $20.

Okay, guys, it's about three o'clock,

so we'll just go ahead and get started.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God. I'm so sorry. Are you okay?

I'm okay. How are you?

I'm fine.

What?

Are you here for the workshop?

Mm.

Okay, well, it's $20.

Okay.

I'm sorry it's crumbled. I bought it.

- Okay. - Okay.

- What's your name? - What?

What is your name?

My name's Copper.

Copper. Like the metal.

- Okay. - Yeah?

How do you spell your last name?

What?

Can you please spell your last name for me?

Okay. Yeah. F E N C I N G.

- Copper Fencing? - Hello.

Okay, uh...

Take a seat.

Okay, today to begin,

we are going to be doing a world building exercise.

Improv's not for everybody.

Did he play?

What is your deal?

He's climbing the tree.

He's eating cake.

What are you doing? What are you looking for?

What is that?

What the hell is that?

I shouldn't be following him.

Okay.

Hello?

Hey.

Ow.

Don't be mad at me.

I shouldn't have been at the show,

I shouldn't have gone. Like, it's my fault.

So, it's all my bad, so, I'm sorry for that.

- I'm sorry for doing... - No, you're fine.

Everything's fine. Listen.

I don't care about any of this stuff, okay?

It doesn't matter. Nothing matters.

We're good. We're fine, okay?

Hey...

You were following me, right?

- No! - No...

Hey, it's crazy how similar we are.

It was kinda like I'm looking in the mirror.

I was following you too, so...

You probably put it together, right?

Who I am and what I'm doing here?

I didn't put anything together.

Okay, I didn't put anything together.

I didn't put anything together.

Hey, you don't know who I am?

I don't know who you are.

You don't have to tell me anything.

Isn't it obvious?

I'm your son.

Yeah, you're my son. Totally. Yes.

Absolutely. I should have seen that.

I know that that sounds crazy. I'm too old to be your son.

Hey, it's crazy,

but there's a perfectly reasonable explanation for that.

I'm from the future.

I believe you.

I believe you're my son from the future.

Now let dad go, and I will leave here, okay?

That's you, right?

The guy in the picture. It's you, isn't it?

I don't know what that is.

Oh.

Um...

I've had this picture for as long as I can remember.

My mother left it for me.

She told them to tell me that the man in the picture,

the man in that jacket with his head turned,

that that was my father.

So, um...

There is some writing on the back,

like a scribble, a name and a date.

And...

I know I shouldn't have gone there,

I know it was a mistake, but...

I just had to see, so...

Okay, listen.

You need to let me go, okay?

You need to let me go right now, because I cannot die.

I have a lot of things

that I still need to do with my life.

Oh no, you don't, you're okay.

No, I... What?

Look, I'm gonna let you go,

because I don't know what else to do.

And I really got to stop talking,

because people will get real angry at me,

but just so you know,

if there's anything you want to do,

with your life, I mean, you should do it soon,

'cause you've only got, like, ten months left.

What does that mean?

Okay, nap time now.

What?

- Don't freak out. - What!

What are you doing here?

I needed to talk to you

and you're not answering my texts.

Okay. How did you get in the apartment?

You still leave this under the mat.

So, really, that's on you.

Okay, you got to go.

No, Barnaby, listen to me. We need to talk.

- Not now. - This can't wait.

- It's not safe. - I'm pregnant.

What?

I tried to tell you last night.

I tried.

It's yours.

We haven't...

We haven't been together since...

The last time we...

Before last night. The last time before last night.

I know this is the last thing you want to hear right now,

and I'm not asking you for anything.

But I'm keeping this baby.

And I thought you deserve to know.

Say something.

Barnaby, say something.

Say something!

Did you ever develop those photos?

What?

From your camera the other night at the show?

Do you have them?

What does that have to do with anything?

Do you have them?

Never finished the roll.

There's no way.

I gotta go.

Barnaby, where are you going?

Barnaby!

What is this?

What the hell is going on?

It's long story, you know.

Is that cake?

So, at some point, like ten months from now,

there's going to be a big disaster.

Something real bad

that wipes out all of the plants and people and things.

Okay, what kind of disaster?

- What? - What kind of disaster?

Oh, I don't know.

Okay. He doesn't know. Well, who's responsible for it?

Oh, I don't know.

- You don't know? - Hmm mm.

Why don't you know?

Oh, they don't really tell us much.

Most days I just sit in my cell waiting, so...

That isn't very good.

- I don't believe you. - Okay.

Okay, that's...

Won't you try to convince me you're telling me the truth?

Oh, I am.

Okay, well, I don't believe you.

- Okay. - Stop saying "Okay."

Okay.

I mean... alright.

Hey, you want to see my time machine?

How does it work?

Oh, it's just simple, actually.

You just close this main door here,

and then you take some of the black rocks

and you put it in with green rocks.

And then it takes you back to the moment you left.

but, like, a few seconds forward, which is nice.

Right, but like time travel, how does time travel work?

Oh, how does time travel work? Sure, a great question.

Not really sure.

It's space crystals or something, I think.

That's what Barry said, so...

- Space crystals? Or something? - What?

Space crystals or something?

What?

Do you have frustrating this is?

- No. - You're a time traveler.

You've traveled through time.

But you don't know anything about anything.

You don't know anything about the future or time travel.

Sorry, Dad.

Don't call me Dad.

Right, sorry.

Stop apologizing for everything.

Right, sorry. I mean, okay.

Alright.

- Let's go back inside. - That's where my cake is.

I can't believe this is happening.

This can't be happening right now.

I shouldn't have let him in. He's like a homeless fisherman.

With a dead body in his house.

He showed me his time machine.

I wonder if he's telling the truth?

We have to stop it.

Okay. Yeah, absolutely.

What are we talking about?

I don't know.

The thing that will wipe out half of civilization.

We have to figure out what's gonna make it happen

and not let it happen.

Okay. How do we do that?

I don't know. I have no idea.

But I think I know some people that can help.

Okay, Fart Squad, new concept I want to workshop.

How do we save the future?

I don't get it.

- Same. - We should get coffee.

Oh, yeah, coffee.

No, no coffee. Listen, focus, okay.

Think of it as like an interactive experience.

Right?

We're gonna give the viewers a scenario,

like an end of the world scenario, right?

With a limited amount of information, right?

And then they're gonna use those specifics

to try to figure out how to save the future.

So, it's kind of like an escape room?

Or a murder mystery.

Sure. Yeah. Just like those things.

Oh, that can be fun.

Hey, who's that?

Him? Don't worry about him. He's industry.

Ooh... Industry.

So, the kid comes back from the future

and tells you the world's gonna end?

Yeah, that's the end of the first act, right.

And I'm trying to brainstorm what to do next.

Like, I know that they save the future, right?

They're gonna save the future.

I just don't know how to get from point A to point B.

Any thoughts?

What if the kid just knows

how to save the future. Something simple like that?

Can't do it. First act's locked. The specifics are what they are.

Why?

I don't know, Frankie.

Because I want to make my life difficult.

Can you just not be part of the problem?

Wow.

Well, why is the kid traveling through time?

What's his purpose?

Copper. Go ahead.

- Me? - Yeah.

Okay. Hello. What was your question?

Why is he traveling through time?

Oh, he's on a mission.

What kind of mission?

Oh, a cleanup, mostly.

Do you mean metaphorically,

like, he has to clean up people's past mistakes?

Oh, um...

No, it's more like bodies, like dead human bodies.

I don't follow.

- Stop. - Okay.

Okay. Alright.

The way it was pitched to me was that there's two groups.

There's these bad assassin guys and then their cleanup crews,

and the assassin guys come back to take out specific targets.

Well, who are these targets?

Are they like the leaders of the rebellion force

in the future?

We don't know. and it doesn't matter, right?

These assassins, they come back for whatever reason,

and then they take out targets,

and then they leave the bodies

for the cleanup crews to dispose of.

What do you mean, dispose of?

Oh, he means we cut them up,

or we burn or we bash them, and we bury them.

Whatever it takes to make sure

people don't ever find a single piece of them.

You know what I mean?

Does anyone want a cookie? I have cookies.

I didn't say anything.

Okay, so your protagonist is like a time janitor.

Time janitor... That's catchy.

Yeah, super catchy. The catchiest.

How does it help us save the future?

How do the janitors know where to pick up the bodies?

Do the assassins call them, or something?

No, it's in his bag with cards. Red and green cards.

They're laminated. That's why they're hard.

And what are the cards for?

Okay, so the green ones are places to be,

times, places, and people,

and red ones are places never to be,

times, places and people.

Do the time assassins get cards too?

Oh, time assassins, that's good.

Is it good? Does that help us at all?

Do they have cards?

- I... - I'm worked up.

- Do they have cards? - No.

Okay, they don't have cards. Cool.

Okay, where do they get their information from?

Oh, they just know stuff.

Okay, well, what if you captured one of them?

That's smart.

Wait, what's smart? What did I just miss?

She's saying if you know when and where the time assassins

will drop off their targets, then theoretically,

you could get there beforehand and ambush them.

Get your answers directly.

Yeah, exactly. Does that work?

Does it?

Okay, so two days from now assassin guy's gonna come,

and drop off a body.

Right.

We'll ambush him. Get our answers directly.

Yeah...

I'm not sure about that.

What do you mean?

Don't be mad.

I'm just saying, they tell us never to do this.

It's one of the things they say never to do.

They say that,

so I just don't want anyone get mad at me,

or be upset or angry.

Hey, we're a team, right?

- What? - We are a team.

- We're a team? - Oh, yeah, absolutely.

I need you.

You need me?

Are you kidding me?

I can't save the future by myself.

I need you to help me.

- You need me to help you? - Oh, yeah.

If we're gonna save it, we gotta save it together.

- Okay. - Alright?

Yeah, okay. Yeah, together.

We're gonna save, and we'll do it together.

Oh, yeah.

- As a team. - Yeah.

- Okay. - Alright.

- Okay. - Good.

Okay.

Just two days.

What do we do till then?

Nothing. We just lay low.

Stay out of sight.

Can we do more improv?

Want to do more improv?

Oh, yeah, I mean, yeah, it's just at class...

The lady was...

No, yeah, no.

I don't want to explain where you come from or anything.

- Yeah. - Too complicated.

It's really complicated. I get that.

- Yeah. - I don't want to be complicated.

Hey, can I ask you something, or are you asleep already?

No, that's fine. What?

All that paper...

- The stacks of paper. - My screenplays?

Oh, okay.

Do you know what that is?

- What? - You know what that is?

- What? - The screenplay.

- No. - It's a story.

- Okay. - I write stories.

Oh, okay. That's what the tall stacks are.

- Um hmm. - Okay.

Okay.

Did your parents write stories?

Is that why you did it?

Like, your parents wrote stories

and then you write stories, is that why?

No, my parents never wrote stories.

- Okay. - We should get some sleep, okay?

Yeah, okay.

- Good night. - Good night.

- Thank you. - You're welcome.

Floor feels good.

Okay.

But like, what do you mean?

Are you mad at me?

- No, I'm not mad. - You just seem mad.

I just wanted to add, it's making sense to me.

You said you wrote stories, and then...

but your parents didn't, but they don't care.

I just didn't understand that. So, I'm sorry.

- Okay. - Okay.

Listen, my mom wasn't around.

And my dad was miserable.

- Okay. Yeah. - Okay?

- Okay. - Um, okay.

So, you're just going to sleep, right?

- Yeah. - Okay. Yeah.

I'm gonna ask you something tomorrow, okay?

- No. - It's okay.

You want to sleep. It's okay to sleep.

I just want to ask you something tomorrow, okay?

What?

Just don't get mad at me. So I'll ask you tomorrow, okay?

- Just ask me now. - What?

- Just asked me now. - I know you want to sleep.

- Just ask me now. - Are you sure?

Okay.

When you say he was miserable, what do you mean by that?

Okay, listen...

- He wanted to be an actor. - Right.

- Alright? He went to New York. - Okay.

He studied with a great teacher.

And he tried to do it. And he wasn't successful.

- Okay. - And then he blamed me for it.

- For not being a success. - Okay.

Because he had to take care of me.

- Okay. - Can we go to bed?

- Yeah. - Alright, great.

Well, like, that's what parents do, right?

Like, they take care of their kid. That's it.

- Yeah, that's what they do. - Okay.

I'm sorry.

You don't have to be sorry.

Listen, there's a class tomorrow.

Another class, if you want to go.

We can do that.

Yeah.

- Yeah, I would love that. - Okay.

- Thanks, Dad. - Don't call me Dad.

Okay, yeah, I get it.

Good. Everybody see what she's doing?

Okay? Now...

Add to the stage picture.

Great. Next.

Alright. Great. Okay.

Where are we?

Copper? Where are we?

Hey, can I ask you something?

- Sure. - How do you do it?

Do what?

Improv.

I don't really.

Okay. It's just I've seen you do it.

So, it's like, what are you talking about?

I get on stage a bunch,

but I never really step off off the backline.

What does that mean, step off the back line?

In an improv scene,

if you are standing against the back wall,

and never leave it,

that's never getting off the back line.

So, you're not really in a scene

till you step off the back line and play.

Which I have a problem with.

Hi.

- Hello. - I'm Hannah.

- Okay. - Barnaby.

Oh, yeah, I've seen you before.

You're on the Team Diarrhea Dance party?

Yeah, I am.

But I've never seen you around before.

What's your name?

- Copper. - Are you on any teams?

- Teams? - Yeah, like improv teams.

Oh, no.

Do you come to shows here a lot?

I saw a show. My dad played it.

I have a show tonight. Butt Lumps.

It's at eight o'clock.

Hosted by the Orlasi Brothers. Do you know them?

The Orlasi Brothers...

- No. - Well, they're great.

The show's got free beer and water, candy.

You should come. You both should.

It's very nice of you, but we have plans.

Okay, well, you can still come if your plans fall through,

or, like, if you don't want to be where he is.

I'll be here anyway. Nice meeting you, Copper.

It's nice to meet you, too.

I left my soup in there.

I'll go get it. Bye.

- Bye. - Bye.

Bye.

- What was that? - I have no idea.

But we should probably avoid her going forward,

and the underground too, just to be safe.

Okay, yeah.

We'll just... Whatever you think, Dad.

We'll just avoid her and the underground.

Sounds good. Let's do that.

We could do something else, if you want.

- Whatever you want. - Can I meet my mother?

Or we can go to that show, yeah.

- Okay. - Yeah.

We should just clean you up first.

To avoid suspicion.

Okay. Clean me up.

Hi Zoe, it's Barnaby.

Listen, I'm gonna be busy for the next few days

working on projects.

Very hush hush. Can't talk about it.

If you want to get a hold of me, just text me.

Okay, bye.

I'll leave some clothes out here for you

on the chair, okay?

Thanks, Dad.

Don't call me Dad.

I'm sorry, I didn't hear the last part you said.

Just...

- It's cool. - Okay.

I'm gonna go back in.

♪ I'm getting clean ♪

Alright.

I studied really hard for it.

I did a lot of research and I credited all my sources.

You did, I know one source,

and the quote you took from that source

took up nine of the ten pages of your essay.

Well, it was just a really long quote,

and I felt that it was pertinent information

to what the essay was about.

You've got me there.

Alright. Don't forget to throw some money in the bucket.

Hi.

This is gonna sound crazy, but my whole team bailed on me.

- Will you guys play? - No.

Please, it would mean so much to me.

No.

Hey, guys, we're Last Minute Mistakes.

We're gonna do some improv for you.

All we need is a word, please.

- Time. - Time, thanks.

Honey, you're home late.

Are you cheating on me?

Honey?

Honey, come out into the bedroom, please.

You're home so late.

Just tell me, are you cheating on me?

Honey!

Honey, you're coming home so late.

Are you cheating on me?

- Are you...? - Yes, you.

Come out.

- Okay. - Yes. A little more.

A little more. It's okay.

Yes. Thank you.

Come have a conversation with me.

Okay.

Now you've just got home so late.

What's going on? Are you cheating on me?

- No. - No? Then what were you doing?

Nothing.

Well, I called your office

and your boss said you weren't there.

What?

Your boss. You weren't at work.

Okay.

You weren't there late. So where were you?

- I'm gonna go back. - No, wait.

- Were you with Karen? - What?

Were you with Karen, your secretary?

I don't know who Karen is.

Oh, my God.

- Then where were you? - What?

Where were you if you weren't cheating on me?

Just... what were you doing? Just anything?

I don't know what you want.

He doesn't know what you're asking him.

Because he's from the future.

- What? You're from the future. - Uh huh.

Why didn't you tell me?

He told me not to.

Oh, my God. I don't know what to say.

I knew there was something different about you.

Ask him something about the future.

What's it like in the future?

It's weird.

No one talks to you and they all smell like shoes.

Hey, why did you tell Barnaby and you didn't tell me?

Because I'm his father.

Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

- It was good, right? - It was great.

- Yeah. - It was great.

That was amazing. Thank you so much.

You saved my life.

- Yeah? - No big deal.

Yeah, no biggie.

What are you guys doing now? You want to get a drink?

Is that something we can do?

Yeah, why not?

- Okay. - Cool.

I think that's my favorite show.

- It was a good show. - Did you like it?

- Did you enjoy tonight? - Um hmm.

- Is that it? - What?

Is that all you can say?

- No. - Okay, what else?

- What? - What else do you have to say?

- Okay. - Okay, that's fine.

- You're very sweet. - Okay.

Okay.

Hey Copper, I'm going to get another beer.

Want to come to the kitchen with me?

Okay, I'm going to get a beer with my Dad.

Okay, I'll be here.

- Come back. - I will.

Hey, she likes you.

- What? - Hannah, she really likes you.

Danny didn't hiss one time... At all. It was great.

Why?

- Does it matter? - No.

- What do I do? - What do you want to do?

I want to try to hold her hand.

- Why? - Why is it funny?

Why do you want to hold her hand?

Have you ever held anyone's hand before?

- Of course. - I haven't.

Okay.

There's nothing like it where I come from.

I see people doing it in the park

all that time, and I've always wanted to try.

Okay, so try to hold her hand.

- Yeah? - Yeah.

- This is crazy. - Okay.

- Alright. Come on. - Okay.

...a crazy few days. My mom's going nuts.

And I go back in for producer notes on Wednesday.

That's amazing.

Thank you.

What did we miss?

Kerry sold a script.

Wow. Congratulations.

I don't know if I introduced myself.

Sorry, I'm Barnaby.

- Oh, Kerry. - Nice to meet you.

- Nice to meet you, too. - I'm also a writer.

Oh, really, where're you repped?

I'm not repped right now.

But my sketch team has a lot of heat

and I have a meeting with Vince from the LA Group.

Oh, that's a great agency.

I know. What's your movie about?

Oh, can I give you my pitch?

Please.

Lights, camera, money.

We open on...

I couldn't do it.

Why not?

I was scared, you know.

Like, why would she want to hold my hand, right?

Like, who am I? I'm nobody.

You know, like...

I don't even have a real name, so...

I should probably give you these clothes back, too.

You don't have to.

It's okay. I don't want to mess them up.

I'll just give them back to you. That's okay.

Can I ask you something?

Yeah.

How did you meet my mom?

It's a long story.

Were you scared?

I was terrified.

How did you do it?

I didn't. She did.

What do you mean?

We were on an improv team together,

and we would practice here,

and then one day she just didn't leave.

Didn't leave?

Yeah, everyone left, and then...

She just sat down at my kitchen table

and started talking to me

like that wasn't the strangest thing in the whole world.

We talked all night long.

That sounds wonderful.

It was. She was. She was great.

Just sweet, easy to talk to.

We spent a lot of time together.

So, what happened?

Craziest thing.

I just started wanting to spend all my time with her.

That's what I knew it had to end.

Why?

'Cause I didn't come out here to meet a girl.

I came here to be successful.

We should get some rest. We have a big day tomorrow.

Save the future.

Together?

Yeah, together.

This was a mistake.

I should go.

Okay.

What time are you scheduled

to pick up the body?

After dark, like any time after dark.

So, he could show up any time before then?

Yeah. Any time before then.

Okay.

Oh, what's he gonna look like?

Um...

He'll be messy. Like me.

We're trying to blend in, you know?

He could be any one of these guys.

The homeless guys?

Oh yeah, 75% of all homeless people

are really just time travelers waiting to start their mission.

How do we pick them out?

It won't be hard.

Hey.

Hey, what's happening? Where am I?

Okay, I'm gonna ask the questions here, asshole.

How do we stop it?

Stop what?

The terrible thing that wipes out

most of civilization.

I want to know what it is and how we stop it.

I was just looking for some food.

Alright, I'm...

I was just hungry.

Hey, I know who you are.

What? No, you can't.

My name is Jay Casey. I am from Arlington.

I have a family. I got kids.

You don't want to do this.

That's not true.

Time assassins aren't allowed to have families.

Just like cleanup crews can't, so...

It's a lie.

What have you done?

- What? - Hey, don't talk to him.

Talk to me.

Hey, Barnaby...

I don't have to talk to you.

Where I'm from, you're already dust.

And now, so are you.

That's right. Focus on the guy

that will keep spraying you in the face with bleach

until you answer his questions.

Now, how do we stop it?

How do we stop it?

How do we stop it?

- You can't. - Why not?

Because if you try and change anything,

you will destroy everything.

What do you mean destroy everything?

Paradox.

- What's a paradox? - They're bad.

They made us run drills, paradox drills, all the time,

in case we ever get stuck in one.

Explain!

That won't help.

Try me.

Okay.

Time is like a stack of bricks.

Each moment stacked one on top of the other,

like a wall.

And the wall's already been built.

Every second in existence is already perfectly placed.

Past, present, future.

So, if you go back and you try to change something,

if you try to move a brick,

the whole wall

could come crashing down around you.

That's why time travel's so dangerous.

That's why you can't go back and change anything.

But you travelled through time. You change things.

It's a calculated risk.

And the laminated cards

tell us where to be and where not to be.

You stick to the greens.

Changes are minor.

But if you interact with anyone on a red card,

there's no telling how much damage could be done.

Bullshit. You're just trying to scare us.

Well, you should be scared.

Time isn't a toy to be played with by children.

Changing things is dangerous.

This conversation is dangerous.

Every moment the three of us spend in the same room together

is a second that time never could have anticipated.

We could be changing things right now

and I'd be the only one who'd know the difference.

Why?

Why what?

Why would you be the only one

that would notice a change?

His bracelet.

Don't do it. Don't...

If you try, you could kill us all.

He's an idiot. He's a nothing.

That nothing is my son.

- We have to test it. - What?

To see if what he's saying is true

or if he's just trying to scare us.

- How do we do that? - Simple.

He said if we interact with anyone on a red card,

it will cause a paradox, right?

- Right. - Well, let's do that.

Let's interact with one and see what happens.

I got his bracelet.

I've got a red card. What else do we need?

- A phone book. - What if we're wrong?

We're not wrong.

- But what if we are? - I'm concentrating.

Okay.

- In case. - For what?

What's it feel like?

It tingles.

Messerly... We got them.

What?

Miles Messerly, right?

First name on the card.

It's the only one in this book. This has got to be him.

What do we do?

Let's give him a call.

We have to be touching.

What?

Oh, well, the bracelet protects you,

you and anyone you're touching, skin to skin.

- Does that make sense? - Yeah.

But everyone else in the world is at risk, okay.

So, if a paradox happened and we weren't touching,

the bracelet, and then skin to skin.

I don't know what could happen, you know?

I could become a dog, or fall through the wall,

or just stop existing altogether.

Like, anything's possible.

- Yeah. - Skin to skin.

Yeah, okay.

Take my arm.

Okay.

- Okay? - Yeah.

What's with the cake?

Oh, it's a test.

If you call someone on a red card

and this cake stops being this cake,

then we know a paradox has happened,

because we changed something.

Call it the cake test.

It doesn't matter. It's not a big deal.

Skin to skin.

Skin to skin.

Alright, let's do this.

It's ringing.

Ah... Hello.

Is this Miles Messerly?

The cake's still cake.

Oh, great. How's your day, sir?

- The cake's okay. - Hang on a moment.

- Maybe you should talk to him. - What?

Something different may happen if you talk to him.

- What do I say? - It doesn't matter.

Okay.

Hi, um...

Why do you think you're on the red cards?

Cake's still cake.

- We should check the door. - What?

- What? - Check the door?

Oh, hold on one second.

So, a paradox can happen real fast,

or can take a long time,

depending on how much is changing.

Okay?

Okay, so why the door?

I remember them telling the assassins once

if you walk through a door

and you end up in a place you weren't expecting,

that means that paradox is happening.

Like it's still happening, you know what I mean?

What do you if that happens?

Find another door. Go through it.

Keep doing that until you end up

back in the place you started.

If you do that,

then you know you're saved and the paradox is over.

And then you check to make sure the cake's okay.

Alright, so we should check the door?

We're going to check the door.

Okay.

We're going to go for the door in three.

Okay.

One... two... three...

It's the same.

It's all the same.

What does that mean?

It means your friend was full of shit.

Everything's fine.

How long before anyone notices he's missing?

I'm not sure. Maybe like a week.

The next pick up probably isn't for a week,

so maybe like a week.

Okay. That's good.

Yeah.

That'll give us plenty of time.

Yeah, absolutely.

For what? What are we talking about?

To get him to talk.

Why is Tom calling me right now?

Hey, stay right here.

Hey, what's up?

What?

When?

No, I can't. I'm in the middle of something.

Okay. Alright, stop. Fine. I'll be there in 20 minutes.

Yeah, I'll be there in 20 minutes.

Bye.

Hey, I gotta go.

- What, go? - Yeah.

Something came up, so just stay with him.

- Alone? - Yeah, you'll be fine.

I'll be gone for an hour.

If something happens, just knock him out again.

Keep doing that till I get back.

You can do that, right?

- Yeah. I can do that. - Okay.

Wait, what are you doing?

I gotta save my future.

Where have you been? I've been texting you for hours.

I turned my phone off. What's going on?

That idiot guy submitted us to the Crank Network.

Yeah, but why?

I don't know,

but I guess some big gig opened up at Crank

and he thought we'd be perfect, so he submitted us.

It doesn't make any sense.

He never even sat down with us. He cancelled the meetings.

I know, but I guess he sent over

a bunch of sketches, they liked what they saw,

because we've got a pitch meeting tomorrow at noon.

Noon tomorrow?

It's crazy fast.

We'll set up a conference call tomorrow with Vince

so we can all get on the same page,

and then he's gonna meet us over at Crank,

and then we'll all sit down with the VP of development.

I can't believe this is happening right now.

That's what we said.

This is it, everything we've been waiting for.

He sent contracts for all of us to look at.

Yours on is the box of T-shirts.

Vince wants anything we can give him,

so sketches, concepts, character ideas.

This is awesome.

I need the HD files, I'll cut together a sizzle reel.

Do you have the hard drive?

I gave it to Zoe like a month ago.

Who?

Zoe, she wanted to fix up her website,

so she has the drive.

Who?

Zoe.

Zoe Katz.

Our writing partner. Your roommate.

Oh, Zoe Katz...

Our writing partner.

My roommate.

I don't understand the joke.

I don't either, dude. You tell me.

Seriously.

I don't get it. Like, where's Zoe?

I don't know,

maybe she's off riding around on her unicorn.

Good one.

Fart Squad Four.

Are you okay?

I gotta go.

She's gone.

Zoe Katz, from my sketch group. She's gone.

What do you mean?

I went to her apartment.

Her own roommate didn't even know who she was.

It's like she never even existed.

Do you understand what that means?

We paradoxed her, by making that phone call,

we paradoxed Zoe out of existence.

Why are you out here?

Don't be mad at me.

For what?

What happened?

I'm real sorry.

He said he needed to use the bathroom...

And I am not an idiot.

I was just gonna, like, give him a bucket,

but he must have gotten, like, a hand lose or something,

because when I got close, he just jumped up.

He was just on me, and that's what happened.

I'm sorry.

Which way did he go?

I'm sorry, what?

He saw him get up. Which way did he go?

Oh... Forward, I think.

- What does that mean? - What?

What does that mean, forward, you think?

He got loose and went for the time box.

So, forward... in time.

Wait. He...

He got into the time box?

Yeah, he's not here anymore.

You saw him get into the time box?

Yeah, he went right for it. So, he's back.

Where he started from. You know what I mean?

That's a problem...

Dad, that's a problem.

- Do you get what I mean? - Yes.

- Do you? - Yes.

- Do you know what I mean? - Yes.

Because now he's telling them what's going on.

He's telling them what we did.

And they're going to put it together,

and they're going to send people here.

You know, bad people. Worse than him. Lots of them.

So, we can't stay here.

- We've got to go. - Shut up!

- What? - Shut up!

- I'm trying to... - Just shut up! Alright?

Just grab anything that matters. Let's get out of here.

Okay.

- Dad! - Hurry up!

- Wait, Dad. - Come on, move!

- Dad, I'm going, wait. - Come on!

- What do we do? - I don't know.

- Where do we go? - I don't know.

- Why are you yelling at me? - I'm not yelling at you.

Hey.

Do you have change for the bus?

Change for the bus?

I was just telling my dad, he's got a bunch of change.

Run! Run! Run!

Go! Go! Go!

- You think he followed us? - I don't know.

- Maybe when we doubled back? - I don't know.

Okay, I think we lost him.

Lost who?

Rose. How do you keep getting in here?

The key. Same key.

Okay. You can't be here.

We need to talk.

- Now's not a good time. - It's never a good time.

- Okay, but not now. - I'm leaving.

Okay, great. I'll text you tomorrow.

No, I mean, I'm leaving for good.

What?

My aunt Alice has a place in Philadelphia,

and she told me to stay with her until...

Until the baby is born.

I'm sorry, what did you say?

Copper, bathroom.

- But she said baby. - You know, paradox.

Okay, wait in the bathroom now.

Go.

Okay.

When would you go?

You're not going to try to stop me?

I don't know what I'm supposed to say.

Say what you feel.

It's complicated.

No...

It's not.

It is incredibly simple.

Do you love me?

Rose...

Do you love me?

Yes, of course I love you.

Then show me, Barnaby, for once in your life.

Make an effort. Ask me to stay.

But you won't.

I am so stupid.

I should go.

I keep waiting for this moment.

I must be crazy.

I keep telling myself that someday you'll see.

See what?

Goodbye, Barnaby.

Was that my mom?

You have to go.

What?

This is too dangerous.

Everything that we're doing is crazy,

and the more time we spend together

the more crazy stuff can happen.

But we've got to save the future so I can't go anywhere.

How are we doing that? Because I don't know anymore.

I don't know, but we can figure it out.

Like, we can capture another time assassin,

or ask one of your friends who have all the ideas, whatever.

One doesn't exist anymore.

Do you remember that? She's gone.

Why are you yelling at me?

You have to go.

Okay, I get what you're saying.

It's just, we're a team, so we've got to stay together.

We're not a team.

We're idiots that don't know what they're doing.

We're a dumpster fire.

This was a mistake. I'm sorry.

Okay, that's fine. Just don't make me go, okay?

Just don't make me go. Don't tell me to go.

You've got to go.

Okay, just don't ask me to go.

Copper, I don't have a choice.

You always have a choice, so don't say that.

Copper...

- Copper. - It's not my name.

You have to go. You have to go!

Why is it always so easy for you to get rid of me?

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Hey, Dad.

Are you mad at me?

They're gonna figure out what happened here.

It's gonna take them some time, but they'll figure it out.

And then people will be coming.

You know what I mean when I say that?

Like, bad people are coming here.

- So... - Grab anything that matters.

You're Barnaby's friend, right?

I'm sorry, what?

You were with Barnaby last night in his apartment.

Oh, yeah, that was me. I was there.

I didn't mean to scare you.

Oh, it's okay. I'm scared all the time.

So, it's normal for me.

How are you?

I'm fine. Are you bleeding?

Probably, yeah.

What happened?

Oh, I got into a big fight. In a big brawl with people.

Are you okay?

Yeah, I got away this time, so it's all good.

You look really bad. Let me just...

Come to the couch. I'll clean you up.

Let me take care of it. Come on.

Come on, I'll clean you up.

- You? - Yeah.

My house stuff. You sit right there.

Okay.

Alright, now.

Okay, so let's just take off your coat,

so that I can clean you.

Okay.

Can you take it off?

Take off your jacket.

It's also a little bit big for you,

so next time get a smaller one.

- It'll fit you better. - Okay.

Alright.

- This may sting. - What?

- It may sting. - Okay.

- Are you ready? - Um hmm.

Okay.

A bit too much?

It's good.

Okay.

Um...

How far along are you?

Is it okay to ask that?

- It's six weeks. - Um hmm.

What do you think you're gonna do?

Well, I've been looking at a lot of adoption agencies,

and they have some really great programs, so...

So, you don't want to keep it?

I want to do what's best for everybody.

That makes sense.

- I'm sorry to ask about it. - It's okay.

I was adopted.

- You were? - Um hmm.

I know what it feels like, if you are wondering.

You can tell me.

It makes you feel small.

Like nothing you do matters, you know?

Like, these people made you, then toss you in the garbage.

Everyone else has parents and a family,

but not me.

I don't have anything.

They didn't leave a name, you know?

So, I mean, who am I, right?

Just makes you feel like less.

That nothing you do really matters, you know?

You're wrong.

- What do you mean? - It's so wrong.

If I give up my child,

it's because I want something more for them.

If I give up my child,

that's giving them a chance to have things

that I can never give to them.

Um hmm, so you love your son?

Son? Did Barnaby say that?

No, I was just guessing.

It was like a girl or boy, I thought boy was nailing it.

Well, it's too early to know the sex,

but I have a feeling.

But you love your child?

Do I love my child?

With everything that I am.

And I'm sure that your mom does, too.

Okay, I should go.

It'd been great, but thank you.

Thank you for my face. Um...

Okay, I've got to go.

Hey, I'm sorry, I know it's too early,

but any thought to what you might name the baby?

Her name is Everly Rose Dorset.

Okay.

2002, I came in the Hollywood Hills.

I'd just signed Andrew Shen

to a multi-picture deal for the rich and hot franchise.

I'm talking about I made $3 million that day.

And you know how I felt? Good.

Just like you guys, okay?

- How are you guys feeling? - I feel good.

- How are you feeling? - Good.

- Good. - Great. Barnaby?

Barnaby!

What was the question?

How are we feeling?

Good.

It'll just be another minute. Can I get you guys anything?

Water? Juice?

- We're good. Thanks. - Okay, great.

Guys, this is it.

You're going to slay it.

Hey, Barnaby, could you turn that shit off?

Everybody, take out your cell phones right now.

Turn them off now.

- Hello? - I'm going to do something.

- Copper! - Yeah, like 20 minutes.

What do you mean 20 minutes? For what?

I don't know, but it'll be something.

Barnaby!

Where are you?

- I saw mom. - What?

She was taking out photos of the underground.

She is wonderful.

Listen, whatever it is you think you're going to do,

do not do it. It is too dangerous.

- Hey, Barnaby? - Just one second.

I know what happens if I don't do anything.

And I know it's bad.

- But you can make it worse. - Or better.

Okay, listen, as your father,

I'm telling you not to do anything, okay?

I thinking about your father, actually.

About how you said he was miserable,

because he never made it.

And I thought about mom and how great she is.

And how wonderful it would be

to have someone in your life like that.

And I was thinking,

maybe your dad wasn't miserable because he never made it.

Maybe he was miserable

because he never realized he had.

What are you going to do?

The only thing I can do. Make a choice and play.

Copper, what are you going to do?

I'm going to paradox everything.

- They're ready for you guys. - Thank you so much.

- Follow me back. - Right this way. Okay.

Hey, Barnaby, let's go.

The future's waiting.

What am I doing here?

Come on, come on!

No!

Rose, it's Barnaby, listen...

You got to call me back. It's an emergency.

Dammit!

Hey, guy!

What the hell's going on here, man?

Oh, you are a red card. I get it.

You'll see. It'll only take a minute.

Rose, listen, if you're still at the underground, stay there.

I'm coming to you.

This is not gonna make any sense at all,

but we have to be touching, or otherwise

you could be wiped out of existence.

Whatever... I'm coming to you.

Who the hell are you?

What the hell is this?

Who the hell are you?

What the hell is this?

Hey, you turn around and look at me!

I want answers.

What the hell's going on?

Who are you?

I'm Everly Rose Dorset.

I heard them tell the assassins once

if you walk through a door,

and you end up in a place you weren't expecting,

that means a paradox is happening.

Like, it's still happening. You know what I mean?

What do you do if that happens?

Find another door. Go through it.

Keep doing that until you end up back

in the place you started. If you do that,

then you know you're safe and the paradox is over.

Hey, man. What are you doing in my house?

What?

What are you doing in my house?

Do you love me?

Rose.

Do you love me?

I mean, I get on stage a bunch,

but I never really step off the back line.

Yes, of course I love you.

Then show me.

Gas leak?

What?

There's a gas leak in this house.

We got to get out of here.

What are you talking about?

I'm with the gas authority.

You gotta get out of here. It's dangerous.

This house does not even run on gas.

This house used to run on gas.

There's a line underneath that's leaking.

- Do you want to live? - Yes.

Okay, open those windows. I gotta open the door.

- Okay. - Open those windows. Go!

Hey!

- Hey. - You're new to the building?

Yeah, I just moved in.

Oh, cool. What unit?

Four.

I'm in four.

Great. I'll see you, then.

- Delivery for Micah. - Who?

Wrong house.

Same place.

- Second delivery for Micah. - Who?

What?

Okay.

I'm pregnant.

You won't try to stop me?

Rose.

Rose!

Rose!

Rose!

Barnaby...

What are you doing here?

Showing you.

Stay.

I want you to stay.

I don't know what's gonna happen tomorrow.

I don't care, as long as it's with you.

It's about time.

But we need to find cover.

It'll be dark soon, and the lobster people,

they'll be looking for us.

What?

We have to go.

What? Wait, what?

Provided by explosiveskull https://twitter.com/kaboomskull