Original subtitles

This programme contains very strong language

MUSIC: I Love The Sound Of Breaking Glass by Nick Lowe

Oh, do you need a hand, mate?

Oh, no.

Don't worry. No, no.

I'll make sure you get over safely.

But... It's no problem.

Happy to help.

But I don't wan...

But I was going...

..there.

Who cares?

SIREN WAILS

All right, come on, stay with me, sir.

Ooh, you're handsy!

OK. All right.

We are going to take you to hospital.

Can you just answer a few basic questions?

Yeah, sure, if you want, but can you pass me my walker?

That's yours? You had that already?

Yeah, I have cerebral palsy.

Oh, thank fucking God!

I thought it was going to be complicated.

I'm supposed to be knocking off in 20 minutes.

It's all right, love - he was like this already!

Oh, thank fuck for that!

Wait...

Can I still get a ride to the hospital? My shoulder really hurts.

Well, we can give you a lift,

but you've got to find a better way of crossing the street.

I mean, zebra crossings exist for a reason.

So, Tim, what did the doctor say?

He just set up an appointment for this physio.

Hey, this is at Ball's Gym.

That's where I work out.

You work out?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I take pride in my body.

You should definitely come to the gym. That'd be great.

Go to the gym? Hm?

As a qualified carer, I'm a level eight physio.

Perfect, you can help Tim.

What?

Naw, he couldn't afford my rates.

Yeah, that's true.

She's super expensive.

PHONE CHIMES

Hey, Mrs Renkow.

It's Idris. Look, Tim's doctor says he needs exercise to

fix his shoulder, but he's refusing.

Idris! No-one tells my son what to do!

You little worm!

You little no-good son of a bitch!

Go fuck yourself.

Hey, Mom! Hey, Timmy.

Timmy... Yeah?

OK, listen.

You should go to the gym.

Really, you don't want to be weak,

it's hard enough for you to walk around and eat and drink and shit.

HE EXHALES

I know, Mom.

So, get yourself to the gym, get yourself strong

because a human platypus is no fun to play with.

I get it, Mom.

And get yourself some better friends.

Idris is like a weasel.

YOU come here?

Yeah, I do. It's a bit of an obsession, to be honest.

What if one of these monsters sit on you?

You'll die.

Yeah, of envy.

THEY SNIGGER

Hey, Ruth, look at that big motherfucker.

What do you think he's compensating for?

I'd say lack of a mother's love.

Hey, momma's boy, spot me!

Oof!

You know, I could sell steroids in here.

Although the ones I've stole recently from clients

are for eczema, so...

Positivity is a muscle that gets stronger with use.

Be positive!

Jesus, she's intense.

Remember, there is never an excuse for a bad attitude!

Scary lady's coming!

Hey, you must be Tim.

I'm two-time Paralympic gold medallist, founder of Ball's Gym

and creator of Wreck Fit, Claire.

People call me The Wrecking Ball

cos I take a wrecking ball to your perceptions of the possible.

I don't want to assume cerebral palsy, but...

..cerebral palsy, yeah?

I'm mostly here cos I hurt my shoulder.

Life gave you CP.

I can give you two things.

Inspiration.

Inspiration is the spark.

Motivation.

Motivation is the fire.

I don't like your enthusiasm.

Yeah, I definitely can't handle this.

No, we-we don't use the C-word here.

We're all about the "can".

Nothing bad starts with "can".

Like, can...

..taloupe or...

Whit? You can't spell "cancer" without the word "can"

so that's not a great rule of thumb, is it?

Oh, oh, really? I had cancer once.

I did not have time for cancer.

I said, "You know what I'm going to do? I'm going to become a two-time

"Paralympic gold medallist." So I did.

I'm going to make you say the word "can't".

No, you're not.

Are you ready to be the best you?

Come on, get changed. I'm about to change your life.

Because I can.

Exciting. Come on, Tim, I'll show you the changing rooms.

Chop chop.

So...would you say that you can breathe underwater?

With positivity, anything's possible.

Hmm.

When Wreck Fit makes it up to Scotland, you people will be

so much happier. We can achieve anything.

Anything?

So you're saying at some point, you will say the word "can't".

No. Because you can't?

I like you.

You think you can test me.

That's just adorable.

You WILL say it.

Oh, honey.

You go toe-to-toe with me in a battle of wills

and I will destroy you.

It's just about getting used to the gym, Tim.

You know, body confidence can be a spring board to

so many other things.

I don't know, man,

listening to that inspirational bullshit is enough of a workout.

Here, let me give you a hand.

Tim?

Weird.

So, as a Paralympian, the first thing to grasp is the only

limit to what we can achieve is in the mind.

I mean, my problem is literally brain damage.

SHE CHUCKLES

Yeah, you're funny.

Let's go!

Come on, Tim, you can do this.

Yeah, but I just don't want to.

Pain is our friend!

Barriers are there to be smashed!

Work the muscle!

Commit to the zone, Tim!

Yeah...

I really don't want to!

Drive! Drive! Drive through your limitations! Oh!

HE GRUNTS

Come on. Keep up that energy!

I've got to do that again?

Yeah. It's about building core strength.

We build these sessions throughout the week.

I've got to come back every week?

Yes, it's about a new way of life.

HE GROANS

Do you know the greatest thing I got from becoming a double

gold medal-winning Paralympian?

An incomplete vocabulary?

The power to inspire.

Mate, no-one remembers Paralympians.

We don't even remember Olympians.

Come on, Tim, let's go.

No! Failure is not an option.

I have another disabled client coming.

I'd love for you to talk to him!

Tim seemed a bit weird with me, then.

I know I can be a bit annoying, but...

Oh, God. That'll be it.

Probably intimidated him with my body confidence.

Being positive isn't always good.

Erm...

Look at coronavirus.

She must have got some other sad sack to fall for her bullshit.

They must be simple in the head!

ELECTRONIC VOICE: Rude boy coming at cha with the will to kill.

What the fuck?!

The boy with da bod of a god.

Oh, what the fuck are you doing here?

AIR HORN BLASTS

Keifer. Wagwan?

Did you just say "wagwan"?

Oh, great, you two know each other?

Did you bring me a Jell-O shot?

Oh, no, it's Tiny Tim.

Tiny Tim! Like the character.

That is so funny. Isn't he funny?

Keifer is one of my proudest achievements with Wreck Fit.

A shining example of the power to inspire others.

Tim can't inspire anyone because he has a small dick.

Even Keifer said "can't"!

Yes, he did. 50 reps.

Let Keifer be your inspiration to find your inner athlete.

He's intimidated by athletes.

I'm not because I've got size and stamina.

Unlike you, you have...

Oh, "a small dick".

You're so predictable, Keifer.

I was going to say "no muscle".

BOTH: Oh.

And by muscle, I mean "dick".

Irie.

Keifer, why are you Jamaican?

Rastafari, you weak bloodclaat.

Are computers allowed to say that?

I will beat you any time, anywhere.

No, you can't.

Oh, yeah, well, let's race.

Yeah, around Pye Park.

It'll look great on Instagram.

I'm going to win and when I do, you need to post...

..you're a...

..shit sandwich where the bread is also shit.

Oh-ho, nothing like raising the stakes.

It's going to be so inspirational. I'll train you both up...

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

You and your little Wreck Shit won't be coming anywhere near Tim.

If anyone's going to train him, it'll be me.

Have you ever trained anyone before?

Yeah.

Loads.

Why? Do you think I can't?

Well, this gives me the perfect opportunity to show you

how superior my techniques are.

Thank you.

Bring it.

T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-S-S-S-S-S.

What are you doing?

Sucking my teeth, fam.

RUTH SCOFFS

Bye.

Have you really trained anyone before?

Nah.

Thought I could just break their kneecaps.

That might be pointless.

Yeah.

Right, move, we need the couch.

For exercise!

OK, Tim, give me 20.

Yes, coach!

20 what?

Crisps. Ooh.

Tim, just, er...

..just wanted to apologise for making you feel uncomfortable

earlier with my body confidence.

Just want you to know I never set out to, er, body-shame you

by flaunting my own "normal" body.

What? I didn't see anything.

You didn't see the...?

Oh, I just thought, you know, cos of my abs and things, you...

But that's, er... We're cool?

As cool as we ever are, dude.

Now what, coach?

Now...we train.

MUSIC: Harder Than You Think by Public Enemy

OK, Tim, are you ready to become a superhuman?

No.

Thank fuck for that.

MUSIC INTENSIFIES

Let's just forget about it.

Yeah, let's just not show up.

TV: ..special way. Our next guests believe disability is just...

What the fuck?!

..a state of mind so we'd like to welcome inspired performance artist

and Instagrammer Keifer Young and his personal trainer,

Claire "The Wrecking Ball" Ball.

THEY SCOFF

I'm a former Paralympian and Keifer

has been training with Wreck Fit at my gym,

Ball's Gym, for a little over a year now, right?

She gets mad props.

Wicked trainer. Blap.

Well, Keifer here has been doing an excellent

job of documenting his progress on Instagram,

but he also gets trolls.

One troll, she started saying some very horrible things about me

and my positive Wreck Fit programme.

As a Paralympian, I want to show that hope wins over hate,

so I've...

Well, we've accepted the challenge.

Noble sentiments.

The race is 12 o'clock on Sunday at the race track at Pye Park.

Why don't you come and join us?

Thanks, Adrian.

I cannot believe she thinks she can beat a troll.

You need to beat him.

Right, off to bed.

You've got a big race tomorrow.

But it's ten in the morning!

Who's the coach?

I need you well rested, so get to bed!

Yes, coach.

OK, Tim.

I want you to eat thunder and shit lightning.

Wait, shouldn't you be massaging me?

No.

Hey, Tim, we just wanted to come and wish you good luck.

We don't need your luck.

Why do you look so tired?

Oh, man.

I've been up since midnight.

It's what happens when you go to bed at ten in the morning.

Oh, because I knew you weren't with a lady because your dick is beanie.

HE EXHALES

Hey! Just wanted to wish you all good luck.

It's not about the winning, losing, it's the taking part that counts.

What kind of fuckin' nonsense is that?

Why would I do this if I didn't want to win?

It's all about the winning!

Oh, so just because we're disabled, we shouldn't be competitive?

That is so offensive.

We worked too hard to buy that loser BS.

Fuck off and take your tiny dick with you.

IDRIS: "Tiny dick?"

Tim, did you tell him that because I body-shamed you? What?

You spread all these juvenile rumours about the size of my...

..rather than just talk to me?

That's...

That's a bit much, Tim.

Well, as we always said in the Paralympics,

"No point in wasting the sunshine."

Let's do this!

MUSIC: The Marriage of Figaro

GUNSHOT

MUSIC INTENSIFIES

INAUDIBLE

MUSIC STOPS

We can't show this.

We'd be accused of exploiting the disabled

or, even worse, laughing at 'em or something. Come on.

Dude...

..I'm fucking exhausted.

How far do you think we've gone?

100 times as long as your dick.

Do you think we're close to the finish line?

Yes, but only because it's a circle, so the end is that line.

Do you think we'll finish by nightfall?

Let's just call it.

Keifer, why the fuck are you stopping?!

Wreck Fitters can do anything!

Yeah, I don't think that's true.

Er, but even if it was, he just doesn't want to.

No, I'm not saying that.

OK, fine.

Keifer also says, "Babylon"!

You have fucked everything.

If this had gone well, Wreck Fit would've been officially

endorsed by the Adrian Chiles Show.

Do you know how much that would have advanced my gym?!

I hope you're happy.

Pretty happy.

I think I went 200 feet in one go!

We can't use any of this.

Where's that archery for the deaf competition?

I'm going to go and speak to Adrian to see if I can salvage today,

in the name of Wreck Fit and the Paralympics!

Look guys, I-I've got to say something.

Look, I harbour no malice as to what transpired earlier,

but, equally, I make no apologies about being proud of my body.

It's just not something I'm ashamed of.

Oh, Keifer just tells everyone they have a small dick.

It's of no importance to me what he says. I've got nothing to hide.

I stand corrected!

That is so much bigger than I expected.

Just below average.

I know. I hope that ends the matter.

Adrian, can I have a word?

Ade!

Fucking cunt!

She said it!

I knew she'd say it.

Jezahel

Jezahel

Jezahel

Jezahel

Will we both go home

So we can be together?

Oh, oh, oh...

Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0