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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,139 --> 00:00:03,244 Viewers like you make this program possible. 2 00:00:03,279 --> 00:00:05,350 Support your local PBS station. 3 00:00:24,748 --> 00:00:28,649 [Will] The measure of aman is not in his beliefs but in his actions. 4 00:00:28,683 --> 00:00:29,822 Who said that? 5 00:00:29,857 --> 00:00:31,100 Was it G. K. Chesterton? 6 00:00:31,134 --> 00:00:32,170 Never mind. 7 00:00:33,378 --> 00:00:34,793 Whoever it was, they knew what they were talking about. 8 00:00:35,242 --> 00:00:36,691 This vocation of ours, 9 00:00:36,726 --> 00:00:39,280 it's about so much more than just preaching the word of God. 10 00:00:39,315 --> 00:00:40,592 It's about living it. 11 00:00:42,214 --> 00:00:44,803 It's about getting out there amongst the people, not just giving our time. 12 00:00:44,837 --> 00:00:47,495 We're giving ourselves. What we're doing isn't important. 13 00:00:47,530 --> 00:00:50,464 Who cares if we're sleeping, eating. These people need us. 14 00:00:51,534 --> 00:00:53,501 We can't just sit on the sidelines praying. 15 00:00:53,536 --> 00:00:56,435 What use is that on its own? It's no bloody use at all. 16 00:00:56,470 --> 00:00:58,575 Our door must always be open. 17 00:00:58,610 --> 00:01:00,681 Day and night, night and day. 18 00:01:01,233 --> 00:01:03,856 We have to do as well. We have to act. 19 00:01:03,891 --> 00:01:05,824 We are the helpers. 20 00:01:06,480 --> 00:01:10,415 Every minute of every hour of every day, it is our duty to help. 21 00:01:10,449 --> 00:01:11,554 [Leanard] Might I make a suggestion? 22 00:01:12,175 --> 00:01:13,245 Of course. 23 00:01:14,177 --> 00:01:16,559 Do you think perhaps you need a little holiday? 24 00:01:17,353 --> 00:01:18,595 [MOTORBIKE ENGINE ROARING] 25 00:01:23,600 --> 00:01:25,361 [man over loudspeakers] Welcome to Merries, 26 00:01:25,395 --> 00:01:29,123 where there's never a dull day, and the sun always shines. 27 00:01:29,158 --> 00:01:33,369 Leave your worries far behind you and forget about everyday strife. 28 00:01:33,403 --> 00:01:36,026 We're here to put a smile on your face. 29 00:01:36,061 --> 00:01:41,998 This is your time to relax, to unwind, to enjoy life to the fullest. 30 00:01:42,032 --> 00:01:44,311 You can be who you please at Merries. 31 00:01:44,345 --> 00:01:48,038 So put on you glad rags, dust off your dancing shoes, 32 00:01:48,073 --> 00:01:52,319 and get ready to make friends and memories you'll never forget. 33 00:01:52,353 --> 00:01:56,116 I wish you and yours a truly wonderful day. 34 00:01:56,150 --> 00:01:57,151 [Cathy] Off you go then. 35 00:01:57,186 --> 00:01:59,049 [Ivy and Dora] Summer holiday! 36 00:02:00,223 --> 00:02:03,192 I'm pretty sure hell is two hours in a car with that lot. 37 00:02:03,951 --> 00:02:05,159 So mature. 38 00:02:05,194 --> 00:02:08,128 They're excited. They're allowed to be excited. 39 00:02:08,162 --> 00:02:10,820 -It's hell, Cathy. It's absolute hell. -[chuckles] 40 00:02:10,854 --> 00:02:12,373 It is absolute hell. 41 00:02:13,029 --> 00:02:14,582 Sylvia, where's my hat? 42 00:02:14,617 --> 00:02:16,066 On your head, Jack. 43 00:02:17,413 --> 00:02:19,898 I need to make a call. I didn't cancel Bible study. 44 00:02:19,932 --> 00:02:21,520 -Oh, no. No, no, no, no. -What? 45 00:02:21,555 --> 00:02:23,488 No talking about work. We're on holiday. 46 00:02:23,522 --> 00:02:24,558 [Mrs Chapman] How was the train? 47 00:02:24,592 --> 00:02:25,973 Busy. What have I missed? 48 00:02:26,007 --> 00:02:27,181 Will, talking about work. 49 00:02:27,216 --> 00:02:28,596 Oh, I don't talk about it that much. 50 00:02:28,631 --> 00:02:30,391 -You're still talking about it now. -Yeah. 51 00:02:31,668 --> 00:02:32,738 Where's Leonard? 52 00:02:32,773 --> 00:02:34,326 Looking for his Gorky. 53 00:02:34,361 --> 00:02:36,949 [Cathy] Oh, Sylvia! They do donkey rides. 54 00:02:36,984 --> 00:02:38,019 [Leonard] A-ha! 55 00:02:38,054 --> 00:02:40,746 Only Maxim can get me through this torment. 56 00:02:40,781 --> 00:02:44,474 To hell with Maxim. We're getting drunk and going on a pedalo. 57 00:02:44,957 --> 00:02:46,959 -Good Lord. -[Roy] You all right? 58 00:02:46,994 --> 00:02:48,306 [train tooting] 59 00:02:48,340 --> 00:02:49,479 Oi, oi! 60 00:02:50,825 --> 00:02:53,863 Oh! [laughing] 61 00:02:56,210 --> 00:02:57,211 Davenport party? 62 00:02:57,246 --> 00:02:58,316 That's us. 63 00:02:58,350 --> 00:03:00,180 [both] Welcome to Merries! 64 00:03:00,214 --> 00:03:02,872 I'm Roy Reeves, your most venerated host. 65 00:03:03,217 --> 00:03:04,632 This is the other half, Babs. 66 00:03:04,667 --> 00:03:06,186 We met at castanet class. 67 00:03:06,220 --> 00:03:08,498 Yeah, I don't know what it was. We just clicked. 68 00:03:08,533 --> 00:03:09,568 [both click tongue] 69 00:03:09,603 --> 00:03:10,845 [both laughing] 70 00:03:12,330 --> 00:03:15,229 Sunny, would you mind showing these fine folk to their chalets, please? 71 00:03:15,264 --> 00:03:16,541 Absolutely, Mr Reeves. 72 00:03:17,335 --> 00:03:19,026 Castanet class... [chuckling] 73 00:03:19,371 --> 00:03:20,372 Ta-da! 74 00:03:20,648 --> 00:03:23,064 I hope you're all ready for a merry time. 75 00:03:23,099 --> 00:03:24,307 [Will] Yep. [others] Yes. 76 00:03:24,342 --> 00:03:26,413 Doesn't sound very merry to me. 77 00:03:26,447 --> 00:03:28,932 Are you ready for a merry time? 78 00:03:28,967 --> 00:03:30,451 [all] Yes! [Sunny] Yes! 79 00:03:30,486 --> 00:03:32,488 [upbeat music playing] 80 00:03:42,601 --> 00:03:43,775 [Ivy] Yay! 81 00:03:56,753 --> 00:03:58,617 -[Jack speaks indistinctly] -Hey! 82 00:04:01,793 --> 00:04:03,484 [indistinct chatter] 83 00:04:09,766 --> 00:04:10,871 Hi, there. 84 00:04:10,905 --> 00:04:12,182 [indistinct chatter] 85 00:04:13,598 --> 00:04:14,806 [imperceptible] 86 00:04:17,809 --> 00:04:19,189 Ooh. Smile. 87 00:04:32,306 --> 00:04:35,447 Sorry, we're a little delayed due to... 88 00:04:35,482 --> 00:04:37,277 -Snoozing. -Good to know. 89 00:04:37,311 --> 00:04:38,485 [Leonard] We'll be right behind you. 90 00:04:43,110 --> 00:04:46,286 Sorry we're late. Er, we were...having a snooze. 91 00:04:49,841 --> 00:04:51,291 Sorry. Sorry. 92 00:04:51,636 --> 00:04:52,775 Having a snooze? 93 00:04:52,809 --> 00:04:53,983 If you say so. 94 00:04:54,639 --> 00:04:56,365 -Jack! -What? 95 00:04:56,710 --> 00:04:57,780 [all chuckling] 96 00:04:57,814 --> 00:04:59,851 [Roy] Welcome, one and all. 97 00:04:59,885 --> 00:05:04,131 Hope you're ready to have fun, fun, fun tonight, you merry lot. 98 00:05:04,614 --> 00:05:08,653 Welcome to the stage, the one, the only 99 00:05:08,963 --> 00:05:11,345 Merries house band! 100 00:05:11,380 --> 00:05:13,243 -[crowd clapping] -[playing Rock 'n' roll music] 101 00:05:17,109 --> 00:05:18,628 [singing] When i get to my job 102 00:05:18,663 --> 00:05:20,043 It just gets me down 103 00:05:20,078 --> 00:05:22,874 A needle and a record just to keep me sound... 104 00:05:23,219 --> 00:05:26,187 "Fun." Was there ever a more insipid word? 105 00:05:26,912 --> 00:05:28,397 You know what I hate more than fun? 106 00:05:28,431 --> 00:05:29,812 [both] Enforced fun? 107 00:05:29,846 --> 00:05:33,298 If someone has to tell you something's fun, it generally isn't. 108 00:05:33,471 --> 00:05:35,404 Oh! Neighbours. 109 00:05:35,438 --> 00:05:36,577 Nice. 110 00:05:36,612 --> 00:05:40,547 I'm Sid Danker. This is my, er, wife, Margie. 111 00:05:40,995 --> 00:05:42,342 -Nice to meet ya. -Hello. 112 00:05:42,376 --> 00:05:43,653 How'd you do? Ooh. 113 00:05:44,171 --> 00:05:46,104 Mwah. [chuckles] 114 00:05:46,484 --> 00:05:47,623 You been here before? 115 00:05:47,657 --> 00:05:48,969 No. First time. 116 00:05:49,314 --> 00:05:52,386 Quality of guest isn't what it was. Too many Northerners. 117 00:05:53,042 --> 00:05:54,043 Is that right? 118 00:05:55,320 --> 00:05:58,081 He had promised he was going to take me to the...this year. 119 00:05:58,116 --> 00:06:00,290 Who needs the... when you've got all this, huh? 120 00:06:00,325 --> 00:06:01,775 [chuckles] I'll tell you what. 121 00:06:01,809 --> 00:06:03,397 We'll get on your table tomorrow, shall we? 122 00:06:03,432 --> 00:06:04,778 We'll have a good chin wag. 123 00:06:05,295 --> 00:06:06,780 -Lovely. -[Cathy] Yeah. Lovely. 124 00:06:07,297 --> 00:06:09,783 -Wouldn't that be lovely? -[others] Yeah, lovely. 125 00:06:21,657 --> 00:06:23,037 [indistinct chatter] 126 00:06:25,868 --> 00:06:27,663 Scouts! I didn't cancel them. 127 00:06:27,973 --> 00:06:29,527 [Jack] Will. [others] Will! 128 00:06:29,561 --> 00:06:30,976 Relax. 129 00:06:31,805 --> 00:06:33,462 [Geordie] Tiptoe through the roses. 130 00:06:33,496 --> 00:06:34,739 Tulips. 131 00:06:34,773 --> 00:06:35,809 Exactly. 132 00:06:35,843 --> 00:06:37,466 Breathe the fresh air. 133 00:06:37,500 --> 00:06:38,743 Look at the stars. 134 00:06:38,777 --> 00:06:40,227 Have a snooze, maybe. 135 00:06:40,607 --> 00:06:43,541 It's, er, been a while since you had a lady friend. 136 00:06:43,575 --> 00:06:45,405 Romance. That's what you need. 137 00:06:45,439 --> 00:06:47,441 -Find yourself a nice girl. -[Will] All right, all right. 138 00:06:47,476 --> 00:06:50,548 Thank you, everyone, for that sage and unsolicited advice. 139 00:06:50,582 --> 00:06:53,240 Photograph? Two bob for five copies. 140 00:06:53,274 --> 00:06:54,379 Oh, lovely. 141 00:06:54,414 --> 00:06:58,003 [Cathy] Nice. Smile. Come on. 142 00:06:58,418 --> 00:07:00,454 [Bryan] Say "Merries." 143 00:07:01,075 --> 00:07:02,352 [all] Merries! 144 00:07:04,251 --> 00:07:05,252 [chuckling] 145 00:07:06,702 --> 00:07:09,014 I couldn't help but overhear. 146 00:07:09,256 --> 00:07:11,258 If it's a nice girl you're looking for... 147 00:07:12,846 --> 00:07:14,019 [laughs] 148 00:07:17,782 --> 00:07:19,059 She's not my type. 149 00:07:19,300 --> 00:07:23,235 Mmm. Too attractive? Too friendly? 150 00:07:23,270 --> 00:07:25,341 Too uncomplicated? 151 00:07:26,100 --> 00:07:27,101 [sighs] 152 00:07:30,070 --> 00:07:32,106 [rock music playing] 153 00:07:32,141 --> 00:07:33,591 [indistinct chatter] 154 00:07:43,428 --> 00:07:44,602 [inaudible] 155 00:07:48,813 --> 00:07:50,297 [crowd cheering] 156 00:07:59,271 --> 00:08:00,272 [sighs] 157 00:08:03,241 --> 00:08:05,105 [Roy] The Merries house band, everyone. 158 00:08:05,139 --> 00:08:07,901 -Weren't they fantastic, yeah? -[crowd clapping] 159 00:08:07,935 --> 00:08:10,317 Now before we crack on, 160 00:08:10,351 --> 00:08:16,530 regulars Margie and Sid have been married two years today. 161 00:08:16,565 --> 00:08:17,842 Hurray! 162 00:08:18,670 --> 00:08:21,052 Come on, jump in. Come, up you come. 163 00:08:21,811 --> 00:08:22,916 Come on. 164 00:08:22,950 --> 00:08:24,504 [crowd clapping] 165 00:08:27,127 --> 00:08:28,508 Ain't she beautiful? 166 00:08:30,130 --> 00:08:33,029 Come on, give 'em a spin. Give 'em a spin. 167 00:08:33,064 --> 00:08:34,203 [crowd cheering] 168 00:08:36,412 --> 00:08:38,138 Happy anniversary, darling. 169 00:08:41,106 --> 00:08:42,625 You're the light of my life. 170 00:08:42,660 --> 00:08:46,180 [Roy] Let's see how that light's going in a decade, eh, folks? 171 00:08:46,215 --> 00:08:47,319 [crowd laughs] 172 00:08:47,803 --> 00:08:49,425 Margie and Sid. 173 00:08:50,426 --> 00:08:52,221 [crowd clapping and cheering] 174 00:08:56,881 --> 00:08:58,745 For goodness' sake, Sid, did you have to make such a show? 175 00:08:58,779 --> 00:09:00,643 -Everyone's staring. -[scoffs] 176 00:09:00,678 --> 00:09:02,058 [crowd laughing] 177 00:09:06,338 --> 00:09:08,582 Had my cheque book stolen the other day. 178 00:09:08,617 --> 00:09:10,342 I didn't report it to the police. 179 00:09:11,620 --> 00:09:14,001 Nah, the thief spent less than the wife. 180 00:09:14,036 --> 00:09:16,107 But that is marriage for you. 181 00:09:16,141 --> 00:09:18,212 It a very expensive way of getting your laundry done for free. 182 00:09:18,247 --> 00:09:21,077 I'm not sure I can sit through this for the next five minutes. 183 00:09:21,112 --> 00:09:23,632 Try a whole summer. It's intolerable. 184 00:09:24,115 --> 00:09:27,428 [Roy] You know, marriage, it's like a deck chair, innit? 185 00:09:28,291 --> 00:09:31,916 It's ever so comfy at first, bloody impossible to get out of. 186 00:09:31,950 --> 00:09:33,469 [crowd laughing] 187 00:09:34,574 --> 00:09:36,127 -Whoa! -Sid! 188 00:09:36,852 --> 00:09:37,956 [man] Sid! 189 00:09:42,685 --> 00:09:44,411 Help me get him back to the chalet. 190 00:09:48,346 --> 00:09:50,175 Quality of guest isn't what it was. 191 00:09:50,210 --> 00:09:52,799 [Roy] Look! I've got 'em rolling in the aisles down here. 192 00:09:53,144 --> 00:09:54,524 It's not that funny, Sid. 193 00:09:54,559 --> 00:09:56,423 [crowd laughing] 194 00:09:58,321 --> 00:10:02,602 She said to me, she said, "You wanna try being more affectionate." 195 00:10:02,636 --> 00:10:04,396 So I got myself a girlfriend. 196 00:10:04,431 --> 00:10:05,639 [crowd laughs] 197 00:10:06,502 --> 00:10:09,678 But don't get me wrong. Don't get me wrong. 198 00:10:09,712 --> 00:10:14,303 Me and the missus were both very happy for 30 years. Yeah. 199 00:10:14,337 --> 00:10:16,374 -And then we met. -[laughter] 200 00:10:19,688 --> 00:10:21,448 [music playing over speakers] 201 00:10:24,865 --> 00:10:26,522 [Will sighs] Nightcap? 202 00:10:27,696 --> 00:10:33,909 I would, but I thought it might be nice to take in the evening air. 203 00:10:33,943 --> 00:10:34,944 Right. 204 00:10:43,125 --> 00:10:44,644 [rhythmic knocking at door] 205 00:10:48,578 --> 00:10:49,718 That's not the knock. 206 00:11:16,848 --> 00:11:18,919 [indistinct chatter, laughter in distance] 207 00:11:22,751 --> 00:11:24,166 [distorted music playing] 208 00:11:36,247 --> 00:11:38,698 Do you wanna join in? No? Oh. 209 00:11:38,732 --> 00:11:42,287 [Sunny] Simon says, hop like a bunny rabbit! Hop, hop, hop. 210 00:11:42,322 --> 00:11:43,703 Good Lord. 211 00:11:45,497 --> 00:11:47,430 Oh, come on. I'm starving. 212 00:11:48,155 --> 00:11:50,330 My stomach thinks my throat's been cut. 213 00:11:50,882 --> 00:11:53,229 -I know. I understand. -[man] I've been standing here 214 00:11:53,264 --> 00:11:54,403 for 25 minutes. 215 00:11:54,437 --> 00:11:55,784 [woman] I want a refund. 216 00:11:55,818 --> 00:11:58,683 Er, ladies and gentlemen, if you could just bear with us... 217 00:11:58,718 --> 00:11:59,857 Come with me now. 218 00:11:59,891 --> 00:12:01,928 ...we'll be serving breakfast as soon as we can. 219 00:12:01,962 --> 00:12:04,206 Standards have slipped. Didn't I say? 220 00:12:04,240 --> 00:12:06,484 Probably all those Northerners, eh? 221 00:12:07,450 --> 00:12:08,486 Oh. 222 00:12:08,520 --> 00:12:10,833 Looks like somebody had the dodgy salmon. 223 00:12:13,767 --> 00:12:17,219 Nah. I'm on my holidays. 224 00:12:30,508 --> 00:12:32,648 -Guests aren't allowed in here. -I'm a vicar. 225 00:12:49,458 --> 00:12:51,149 [indistinct chatter] 226 00:12:53,876 --> 00:12:55,291 [bell ringing] 227 00:13:04,093 --> 00:13:05,094 [sighs] 228 00:13:06,302 --> 00:13:07,821 Wife's in a terrible state. 229 00:13:08,166 --> 00:13:09,719 It's none of my business. 230 00:13:09,961 --> 00:13:11,273 Police haven't sealed off the scene. 231 00:13:11,307 --> 00:13:15,553 My only business is relaxing with my thoughts. 232 00:13:15,587 --> 00:13:17,417 Already seen the laundry men go in. 233 00:13:17,451 --> 00:13:19,488 Guests leaving without being interviewed. 234 00:13:21,662 --> 00:13:22,732 Absolutely not. 235 00:13:25,874 --> 00:13:27,876 Absolutely bloody not. 236 00:13:30,671 --> 00:13:32,018 [indistinct conversation] 237 00:13:32,052 --> 00:13:34,779 You might want to photograph the body before you move him. 238 00:13:36,298 --> 00:13:39,611 Detective Constable Gerry Wicks. 239 00:13:39,991 --> 00:13:41,165 And who the hell might you be? 240 00:13:41,890 --> 00:13:43,719 Detective Inspector Keating. 241 00:13:44,927 --> 00:13:45,963 I see. 242 00:13:45,997 --> 00:13:47,792 Technically, "I see, sir." 243 00:13:49,759 --> 00:13:51,900 Wife says he had a dodgy ticker. 244 00:13:51,934 --> 00:13:54,626 Few too many beers. Few too many ciggies. 245 00:13:54,661 --> 00:13:56,697 Hits the deck like a sack of potatoes. 246 00:14:00,046 --> 00:14:03,670 Apologies. It's, er, natural causes. 247 00:14:03,704 --> 00:14:05,189 I'd stake my life on it. 248 00:14:06,500 --> 00:14:07,501 [Will] Geordie. 249 00:14:08,778 --> 00:14:11,609 Soil. Here, you see? 250 00:14:13,922 --> 00:14:14,992 He was dragged in. 251 00:14:15,924 --> 00:14:16,994 [Gerry] Lidocaine. 252 00:14:18,271 --> 00:14:20,031 Might not wanna stake your life on natural causes just yet. 253 00:14:20,066 --> 00:14:21,412 Was he taking painkillers? 254 00:14:21,895 --> 00:14:24,829 Roy had a slipped disc. It had bothered him for years. 255 00:14:25,726 --> 00:14:26,935 Was it bothering him last night? 256 00:14:26,969 --> 00:14:28,108 [Babs] Well, I wouldn't know. 257 00:14:28,143 --> 00:14:31,146 He comes here to practice his routine after closing. 258 00:14:31,836 --> 00:14:32,872 I was in bed. 259 00:14:34,183 --> 00:14:35,391 Yep, thank you. 260 00:14:35,426 --> 00:14:40,569 Thank you for your concern, sir. 261 00:14:41,604 --> 00:14:43,296 I look forward to speaking again, Gerry. 262 00:14:44,366 --> 00:14:45,470 [Geordie sighs] 263 00:14:46,368 --> 00:14:48,370 You don't mind if I call you Gerry, do you? 264 00:14:52,098 --> 00:14:55,929 If you could be as discreet as possible, I would really appreciate it. 265 00:14:56,688 --> 00:14:59,277 You seemed upset by your husband's jokes. 266 00:15:00,278 --> 00:15:01,486 They're terrible jokes. 267 00:15:01,935 --> 00:15:03,385 About his terrible wife. 268 00:15:04,144 --> 00:15:05,939 It's an act. It's not real. 269 00:15:05,974 --> 00:15:07,527 A little close to the knuckle. 270 00:15:07,561 --> 00:15:14,534 A joke isn't a joke if it's not close to the knuckle, wouldn't you say? 271 00:15:14,568 --> 00:15:15,569 [door opens] 272 00:15:16,881 --> 00:15:17,882 [door closes] 273 00:15:20,609 --> 00:15:22,542 Five whole days without a carcass. 274 00:15:22,956 --> 00:15:24,130 Is it too much to ask? 275 00:15:24,164 --> 00:15:25,303 [Babs] We keep going. 276 00:15:25,338 --> 00:15:29,169 We keep giving our guests a merry old time. For Roy. 277 00:15:29,652 --> 00:15:30,964 She seems pretty stoic. 278 00:15:32,793 --> 00:15:34,692 And, er, where do you think you're off, young lady? 279 00:15:34,726 --> 00:15:37,281 It's not a Stalinist state, the last time I checked. 280 00:15:38,040 --> 00:15:39,283 Too much time with Leonard. 281 00:15:39,317 --> 00:15:40,905 Stay close, please. 282 00:15:41,147 --> 00:15:42,389 I mean it, Es. 283 00:15:47,153 --> 00:15:48,395 Howdy there, fellas. 284 00:15:50,018 --> 00:15:50,984 Howdy, Sid. 285 00:15:51,571 --> 00:15:52,641 Is it a murder? 286 00:15:52,675 --> 00:15:53,711 Is it the wife? 287 00:15:53,745 --> 00:15:54,919 Sylvia! 288 00:15:54,954 --> 00:15:57,370 In my Agatha Christies, it's always the wife. 289 00:15:57,404 --> 00:15:59,786 Er, well, it looks like natural causes. 290 00:15:59,820 --> 00:16:01,305 Aw. Poor chap. 291 00:16:01,339 --> 00:16:02,892 Time to join our conga line! 292 00:16:02,927 --> 00:16:04,273 Conga line, Sylvia! 293 00:16:04,308 --> 00:16:06,275 Ooh! I love a conga line. 294 00:16:07,311 --> 00:16:08,553 Sorry about Mr Reeves. 295 00:16:08,588 --> 00:16:10,383 He'd want us to enjoy ourselves. 296 00:16:12,902 --> 00:16:15,250 [Babs through speakers] Let's make this a day to remember. 297 00:16:15,284 --> 00:16:18,080 The longest conga line yet! 298 00:16:18,115 --> 00:16:19,357 [music playing] 299 00:16:22,567 --> 00:16:24,673 Did you hear that music blast last night? 300 00:16:26,951 --> 00:16:28,884 It was ten past midnight, I checked. 301 00:16:30,782 --> 00:16:32,267 Come and join the conga line. 302 00:16:32,543 --> 00:16:34,338 Come on, you two. No excuses. 303 00:16:34,579 --> 00:16:37,479 Because nothing says in memoriam like a conga line. 304 00:16:37,513 --> 00:16:38,721 [scoffs] 305 00:16:39,412 --> 00:16:40,827 -Is that an Argus? -[Daniel] It is. 306 00:16:41,621 --> 00:16:43,795 -Bit old, but, er... -I use an Argus. 307 00:16:44,589 --> 00:16:46,074 You're a photographer? 308 00:16:46,108 --> 00:16:48,352 Yeah, I've actually just had some photos accepted for an exhibition. 309 00:16:48,386 --> 00:16:51,010 Really? We'd love to take a look. 310 00:16:51,286 --> 00:16:54,358 [Babs through speakers] Calling mr marlowe to the conga line. 311 00:16:54,392 --> 00:16:56,291 [Cathy through speakers] Daniel Marlowe. Hurry up. 312 00:16:56,325 --> 00:16:57,464 [Daniel] Duty calls. 313 00:16:57,499 --> 00:16:58,741 Another time, perhaps. 314 00:17:02,504 --> 00:17:03,608 Oh, Gorky. 315 00:17:04,540 --> 00:17:05,610 Have you read it? 316 00:17:05,783 --> 00:17:06,922 Half of it. 317 00:17:07,750 --> 00:17:08,751 It's quite... 318 00:17:10,477 --> 00:17:12,548 Impenetrable? Dull? 319 00:17:12,755 --> 00:17:15,172 [chuckles] So unbelievably dull. 320 00:17:16,276 --> 00:17:17,760 I prefer Dostoyevsky. 321 00:17:17,795 --> 00:17:20,280 Ah. "To live without hope... 322 00:17:20,315 --> 00:17:22,144 [both] "...is to cease to live." 323 00:17:22,800 --> 00:17:25,527 [Cathy through speakers] Calling Leonard Finch to the conga line. 324 00:17:25,561 --> 00:17:28,978 Leonard Finch to the conga line. Hurry up! 325 00:17:29,013 --> 00:17:30,325 Leonard Finch. 326 00:17:31,222 --> 00:17:32,706 Bryan Stanford. 327 00:17:33,776 --> 00:17:35,778 [music playing over speakers] 328 00:17:41,991 --> 00:17:44,028 So, he's listening to this. 329 00:17:48,136 --> 00:17:50,138 [music playing through record] 330 00:17:51,242 --> 00:17:52,243 He slumps forward... 331 00:17:53,313 --> 00:17:55,315 [distorted music playing over speakers] 332 00:17:59,043 --> 00:18:01,735 Okay. But then how does he end up in the ballroom? 333 00:18:15,197 --> 00:18:16,198 Geordie? 334 00:18:26,208 --> 00:18:27,347 [Sunny] Excuse me? 335 00:18:28,314 --> 00:18:29,832 Guests aren't allowed in here. 336 00:18:30,316 --> 00:18:32,318 Sorry, we, er... We didn't realise. 337 00:18:33,698 --> 00:18:35,355 Ah, would you look at that. 338 00:18:35,390 --> 00:18:36,805 Mmm, fancy. 339 00:18:38,496 --> 00:18:39,532 This safe... 340 00:18:39,808 --> 00:18:41,982 Where does Mr Reeves keep the key? 341 00:18:42,604 --> 00:18:44,364 -You shouldn't be in here. -[Will] He's a detective. 342 00:18:44,399 --> 00:18:45,538 He's just doing his job. 343 00:18:45,572 --> 00:18:47,126 And I'm doing mine. 344 00:18:47,160 --> 00:18:48,989 Perhaps you'd like to answer his question. 345 00:18:49,024 --> 00:18:51,785 [scoffs] Perhaps you'd like to obey the sign. 346 00:18:55,410 --> 00:18:57,722 [Geordie] Mmm. Mmm-hmm. 347 00:18:57,757 --> 00:18:59,724 [Sunny] Enjoy rifling through a dead man's belongings. 348 00:19:02,486 --> 00:19:04,108 Does she ever stop smiling? 349 00:19:04,143 --> 00:19:05,144 [door closes] 350 00:19:10,218 --> 00:19:13,082 Sorry, you were probably just being polite, saying you'd see my work. 351 00:19:13,117 --> 00:19:14,153 Not at all. 352 00:19:14,808 --> 00:19:16,362 Beautiful light. 353 00:19:16,845 --> 00:19:19,882 -Not that I'm an aficionado. -Huh. 354 00:19:19,917 --> 00:19:24,128 Well, anyone who says they're an aficionado is lying. 355 00:19:26,372 --> 00:19:28,512 -[Leonard] Firenze. -Have you been? 356 00:19:28,960 --> 00:19:29,961 No. 357 00:19:30,203 --> 00:19:31,618 Ah! Me either. 358 00:19:32,826 --> 00:19:33,827 I've never been anywhere. 359 00:19:34,311 --> 00:19:35,312 Thank you. 360 00:19:36,623 --> 00:19:38,763 I went to Morocco once. 361 00:19:39,626 --> 00:19:42,284 It was transcendent. 362 00:19:44,252 --> 00:19:46,702 Hard to find transcendence in this place. 363 00:19:46,909 --> 00:19:48,359 -I can imagine. -[chuckles] 364 00:19:50,223 --> 00:19:53,640 How is it you can be surrounded by all these people and still feel so... 365 00:19:54,538 --> 00:19:55,780 Alone? 366 00:19:56,264 --> 00:19:57,955 -Yeah. -[both chuckle] 367 00:20:08,379 --> 00:20:10,519 [Will] There's hours' worth of cine film here. 368 00:20:14,558 --> 00:20:16,560 [Geordie] Mmm, Margie gets about a bit. 369 00:20:18,044 --> 00:20:20,253 Not just the Northerners lowering the tone then. 370 00:20:20,978 --> 00:20:24,775 [Geordie] She's no ordinary holiday maker. She was working the camp. 371 00:20:28,019 --> 00:20:30,194 Roy sets his male guests up with Margie, 372 00:20:30,229 --> 00:20:31,851 -takes these. -Then what? 373 00:20:32,334 --> 00:20:33,611 He blackmails them. 374 00:20:35,268 --> 00:20:38,340 Not exactly the souvenir snap you'd want your wife to see, is it? 375 00:20:44,243 --> 00:20:45,623 Well, would you look at that. 376 00:20:46,175 --> 00:20:49,558 Well, that is certainly one way to meet the light of your life. 377 00:20:49,593 --> 00:20:52,630 -[music playing] -[Dance instructor] Bodies square, please. 378 00:20:54,356 --> 00:20:55,357 Right. 379 00:20:56,324 --> 00:20:57,394 May I? 380 00:20:58,843 --> 00:21:01,294 All right, got my eye on you. Keep your hands north of the border. 381 00:21:01,329 --> 00:21:02,537 Sid, please. 382 00:21:02,571 --> 00:21:03,572 [laughs] 383 00:21:11,028 --> 00:21:12,409 [Will] So how long you been coming here? 384 00:21:13,410 --> 00:21:14,790 I used to work here, so... 385 00:21:15,204 --> 00:21:17,345 Let me guess. You're a dancer. 386 00:21:18,242 --> 00:21:20,589 Dancer, singer. 387 00:21:21,210 --> 00:21:23,454 Entertainment was something back then. 388 00:21:24,006 --> 00:21:28,356 Local paper used to say I was destined for the West End. [chuckles] 389 00:21:31,290 --> 00:21:33,050 Is this where you and Sid met? 390 00:21:34,362 --> 00:21:36,260 Place must hold happy memories. 391 00:21:36,674 --> 00:21:39,953 I think you should concentrate on your footwork, Mr Davenport. 392 00:21:42,128 --> 00:21:44,510 Margie, we've seen the photographs. 393 00:21:45,994 --> 00:21:47,616 The ones Mr Reeves took. 394 00:21:51,655 --> 00:21:52,794 Excuse me. 395 00:21:57,419 --> 00:21:58,420 Margie? 396 00:21:59,041 --> 00:22:00,319 What did you say to her? 397 00:22:10,018 --> 00:22:12,123 What is it, my love? Come here. 398 00:22:12,158 --> 00:22:14,229 Stop fretting, Sid. Please. 399 00:22:15,195 --> 00:22:16,645 I demand to know what you said to her. 400 00:22:17,059 --> 00:22:19,890 "Demand?" Oh, don't be so dramatic. 401 00:22:19,924 --> 00:22:21,029 They know. 402 00:22:21,374 --> 00:22:22,582 About me. 403 00:22:23,203 --> 00:22:25,033 What sodding business is it of yours? 404 00:22:26,828 --> 00:22:28,588 I thought you were on your holidays. 405 00:22:29,175 --> 00:22:30,418 So did I, Sid. 406 00:22:31,936 --> 00:22:33,524 So Margie has a past. 407 00:22:34,560 --> 00:22:36,734 ...even pretty boy here has a past. 408 00:22:38,529 --> 00:22:39,806 Was Roy blackmailing you? 409 00:22:42,257 --> 00:22:44,190 How we met is of no importance. 410 00:22:44,224 --> 00:22:45,881 Actually it really is. 411 00:22:49,022 --> 00:22:50,576 I saved her from that bastard. 412 00:22:51,887 --> 00:22:54,821 What matters is Margie's with me now, and she's happy. 413 00:22:54,856 --> 00:22:56,582 You got nothing to be ashamed of, my love. 414 00:22:56,616 --> 00:22:58,480 Do you have to make such a song and dance, Sid? 415 00:22:58,515 --> 00:22:59,792 [crying] 416 00:23:04,175 --> 00:23:05,832 You must've despised him. 417 00:23:06,661 --> 00:23:08,283 Us and anyone who met him. 418 00:23:08,939 --> 00:23:10,009 So why come back? 419 00:23:10,043 --> 00:23:11,217 [Sid] To rub the bastard's nose in it. 420 00:23:12,287 --> 00:23:15,394 He tried to ruin me. I got the girl. 421 00:23:16,464 --> 00:23:18,051 I got the happy ever after. 422 00:23:19,259 --> 00:23:20,985 Good riddance to him, I say. 423 00:23:26,991 --> 00:23:29,373 Do you ever feel different from other people? 424 00:23:29,856 --> 00:23:34,309 I think the more appropriate question might be do I ever feel remotely 425 00:23:34,620 --> 00:23:35,621 [chuckles] 426 00:23:37,416 --> 00:23:39,970 You know, I... I look around here and I see all these people 427 00:23:40,004 --> 00:23:42,179 smiling and enjoying themselves. 428 00:23:42,213 --> 00:23:45,493 All this inane bloody nonsense. 429 00:23:45,527 --> 00:23:47,011 They're just having fun. 430 00:23:48,185 --> 00:23:50,946 It is terribly inane though, isn't it? 431 00:23:51,947 --> 00:23:56,607 I am hosting the Fullest Head of Hair contest in an hour. 432 00:23:56,642 --> 00:23:58,954 Maybe I should put myself forward. 433 00:24:04,304 --> 00:24:08,274 Being different isn't so terribly bad. 434 00:24:08,826 --> 00:24:11,415 Better than being something you're not. 435 00:24:14,970 --> 00:24:16,455 You'll go there one day, 436 00:24:17,007 --> 00:24:19,872 sell your photographs outside the Duomo. 437 00:24:20,493 --> 00:24:22,771 Make an absolute fortune. 438 00:24:24,532 --> 00:24:25,498 No. 439 00:24:27,880 --> 00:24:28,881 Sorry. 440 00:24:30,227 --> 00:24:32,816 No, I'm... Sorry. I... I'm sorry. 441 00:24:52,525 --> 00:24:55,010 [Geordie] Bringing your wife back to the place she turned tricks. 442 00:24:55,045 --> 00:24:57,012 [Will] To show off to your blackmailer. 443 00:24:57,047 --> 00:24:58,773 Who says romance is dead? 444 00:24:59,877 --> 00:25:01,361 Who turned tricks? 445 00:25:01,638 --> 00:25:02,949 Who's a blackmailer? 446 00:25:04,641 --> 00:25:05,676 No one. 447 00:25:06,988 --> 00:25:08,645 I've, er, set up the projector in the main office, Inspector. 448 00:25:08,679 --> 00:25:09,749 [Geordie] Thank you. 449 00:25:10,405 --> 00:25:12,752 It's just a bit of film I've got to watch, Cathy. 450 00:25:12,787 --> 00:25:14,236 Natural causes, you said. 451 00:25:15,030 --> 00:25:16,618 As natural as they come. 452 00:25:17,654 --> 00:25:19,621 And Detective Wicks will be here shortly. 453 00:25:19,897 --> 00:25:21,347 Mmm-hmm. Mmm-hmm. Mmm-hmm. 454 00:25:21,381 --> 00:25:24,419 [Cathy] Promise me there is not a murderer on the loose. 455 00:25:24,453 --> 00:25:25,869 What about the kids? 456 00:25:26,386 --> 00:25:28,147 Wouldn't fancy his chances against our lot. 457 00:25:29,562 --> 00:25:31,426 We don't know if it's a murder. 458 00:25:33,670 --> 00:25:34,878 Not for sure. 459 00:25:37,087 --> 00:25:39,503 [sighs] Five days, you said. 460 00:25:43,576 --> 00:25:45,751 Do you know what's worse than enforced fun? 461 00:25:46,648 --> 00:25:48,512 Someone that sulks their way through it. 462 00:25:50,825 --> 00:25:51,895 Don't be angry. 463 00:25:53,828 --> 00:25:55,070 Why would I be angry? 464 00:25:56,209 --> 00:25:59,212 I was convivial with Bryan. 465 00:26:00,420 --> 00:26:02,975 He got the wrong impression and... 466 00:26:03,009 --> 00:26:04,010 [barman] Sir? 467 00:26:05,460 --> 00:26:06,461 And? 468 00:26:08,636 --> 00:26:10,085 [softly] He tried to kiss me. 469 00:26:11,017 --> 00:26:14,676 -Bryan? Bryan, Bryan? -Shh. 470 00:26:15,781 --> 00:26:17,299 Take it as a compliment. 471 00:26:18,231 --> 00:26:20,406 You're a handsome chap. He's a handsome chap. 472 00:26:25,066 --> 00:26:26,205 [Merries band playing] 473 00:26:26,239 --> 00:26:28,725 [sInging] I can't, no matter how hard I try 474 00:26:28,759 --> 00:26:31,210 So why don't you join and face your fears? 475 00:26:31,244 --> 00:26:34,247 Sit still, honey and I'll check you here 476 00:26:34,282 --> 00:26:36,042 It better hit you, woman There's no turning back 477 00:26:36,077 --> 00:26:38,286 And it's about to hit you, baby Like a train on a track... 478 00:26:38,320 --> 00:26:39,528 [Gerry] It's overdose. 479 00:26:40,875 --> 00:26:43,463 There's enough lidocaine to kill that bloody donkey out there. 480 00:26:43,498 --> 00:26:45,983 You know, I still think there's a chance it could be natural causes. 481 00:26:48,054 --> 00:26:50,781 I mean, he could've taken it of his own accord. 482 00:26:52,680 --> 00:26:54,820 When was the last time you had a murder case? 483 00:26:55,441 --> 00:26:57,270 '36, I believe. 484 00:26:59,514 --> 00:27:00,619 Where were you? 485 00:27:02,655 --> 00:27:03,691 School. 486 00:27:04,588 --> 00:27:07,177 I'll look this over for ya. How about that, hmm? 487 00:27:08,074 --> 00:27:11,146 I doubt it'll make much difference, but if you must... 488 00:27:11,181 --> 00:27:12,423 [singing continues] 489 00:27:12,458 --> 00:27:15,392 'Cause there's rhythm in my body from my head to my feet 490 00:27:15,426 --> 00:27:17,877 I need a small dose just to keep me sane 491 00:27:17,912 --> 00:27:20,431 While the rock and roll music flows through my brain 492 00:27:20,466 --> 00:27:24,194 I can't live without it Now don't you doubt it, baby 493 00:27:24,539 --> 00:27:28,439 Well, you may think I'm crazy but it's my desire 494 00:27:28,474 --> 00:27:30,752 'Cause I do it just for it gets me high 495 00:27:30,787 --> 00:27:33,755 You can tell me to quit but I have to admit... 496 00:27:33,790 --> 00:27:35,274 [imperceptible chatter] 497 00:27:36,206 --> 00:27:39,140 So why don't you join me and face your fears... 498 00:27:39,899 --> 00:27:41,176 Mrs Reeves... 499 00:27:41,211 --> 00:27:42,453 [Babs] Evening, Miss Grant. 500 00:27:42,488 --> 00:27:43,731 Lovely dress. 501 00:27:44,110 --> 00:27:45,698 [Will] Were you aware of your husband's dealings? 502 00:27:45,733 --> 00:27:47,251 We having a merry old time? 503 00:27:48,114 --> 00:27:49,702 Did you know he was blackmailing the guests? 504 00:27:49,737 --> 00:27:51,083 Of course I bloody did. 505 00:27:51,117 --> 00:27:52,325 Yet you didn't stop him? 506 00:27:53,775 --> 00:27:56,605 This place was my father's. Then I married, and it belonged to Roy. 507 00:27:57,399 --> 00:27:58,607 He ruined it. 508 00:27:59,505 --> 00:28:01,403 That's the way it goes, isn't it? 509 00:28:01,714 --> 00:28:03,992 What's mine is by husband's, 510 00:28:04,268 --> 00:28:07,789 what's his, he can do what the heck he likes with. 511 00:28:08,134 --> 00:28:12,898 So, yes, I knew what he was doing. And, no, I didn't stop him. 512 00:28:12,932 --> 00:28:14,658 Does that answer your question? 513 00:28:18,697 --> 00:28:19,698 Lidocaine. 514 00:28:21,216 --> 00:28:22,217 Injected? 515 00:28:23,978 --> 00:28:25,255 Swelling in the throat. 516 00:28:25,531 --> 00:28:28,776 So he ingested it. Where, his supper, maybe? 517 00:28:29,259 --> 00:28:31,433 Starting to wish I hadn't had that hot pot. 518 00:28:31,468 --> 00:28:32,918 He was fine on stage. 519 00:28:33,919 --> 00:28:35,679 It must be someone who knew him. 520 00:28:35,714 --> 00:28:37,681 Excuse me. Would you like to dance? 521 00:28:37,716 --> 00:28:38,717 Not now. Sorry. 522 00:28:41,271 --> 00:28:43,031 Someone who knew he took Lidocaine. 523 00:28:47,104 --> 00:28:48,105 What? 524 00:28:50,729 --> 00:28:52,247 You only live once. 525 00:29:00,221 --> 00:29:02,050 I think I was a little rude. 526 00:29:02,085 --> 00:29:03,189 A little? 527 00:29:03,431 --> 00:29:05,053 Inordinately rude. 528 00:29:05,295 --> 00:29:08,470 -Extremely, supremely... -Extraordinarily? 529 00:29:08,885 --> 00:29:10,438 Extraordinarily rude. 530 00:29:11,025 --> 00:29:12,543 I'd love to dance with you. 531 00:29:16,996 --> 00:29:18,066 [Will sighs] 532 00:29:18,101 --> 00:29:19,447 You coming or not? 533 00:29:43,471 --> 00:29:44,748 Now who's smiling? 534 00:30:03,905 --> 00:30:05,804 [both chuckling] 535 00:30:09,048 --> 00:30:10,291 [Will] So, tell me. 536 00:30:10,843 --> 00:30:13,121 [Sunny] Pamela. My real name's Pamela. 537 00:30:13,432 --> 00:30:14,709 Pamela's nice. Pamela's... 538 00:30:14,743 --> 00:30:16,331 Middle aged with too many kids. 539 00:30:16,366 --> 00:30:18,368 [chuckles] And a husband she hates. 540 00:30:19,334 --> 00:30:21,785 Pamela Smith doesn't get top billing at the Palladium. 541 00:30:22,303 --> 00:30:25,099 Besides, everyone here's pretending to be someone they're not. 542 00:30:25,996 --> 00:30:27,239 I bet even you are. 543 00:30:27,653 --> 00:30:29,862 Sadly, I am deeply uncomplicated. 544 00:30:29,897 --> 00:30:34,108 Mmm. No. This face is hiding all sorts of secrets. 545 00:30:34,522 --> 00:30:36,524 Go on then, try me. 546 00:30:37,249 --> 00:30:38,802 You've got a love child. 547 00:30:38,837 --> 00:30:40,079 Not that I know of. 548 00:30:40,908 --> 00:30:44,083 -Doomed affair with a beautiful widow. -Ah, if only. 549 00:30:44,497 --> 00:30:45,947 There must be something. 550 00:30:47,880 --> 00:30:50,331 I am my work. My work is me. 551 00:30:50,676 --> 00:30:53,092 -That's as scandalous as it gets. -[chuckles] 552 00:30:54,853 --> 00:30:56,371 [both chuckle] 553 00:30:57,303 --> 00:30:58,511 [Bryan sighs] 554 00:31:05,484 --> 00:31:06,692 We're closed. 555 00:31:06,726 --> 00:31:10,385 I feel as though I owe you an explanation. 556 00:31:11,076 --> 00:31:13,250 [inhales] I understand... 557 00:31:14,010 --> 00:31:16,046 That's what I wanted to say. 558 00:31:16,909 --> 00:31:19,636 I know it may not seem like it, 559 00:31:20,154 --> 00:31:23,640 but I understand what you may be feeling... 560 00:31:24,365 --> 00:31:26,505 And how confusing that can be. 561 00:31:27,333 --> 00:31:30,716 It's confusing, and it's...terrifying. 562 00:31:32,649 --> 00:31:36,066 And...you feel terribly lonely. 563 00:31:37,999 --> 00:31:40,760 [inhales] I'm sorry if I misled you. 564 00:31:41,969 --> 00:31:44,937 Please know that was the last thing I intended. 565 00:32:04,267 --> 00:32:05,509 [inaudible] 566 00:32:08,996 --> 00:32:10,618 [suspenseful music playing] 567 00:32:16,693 --> 00:32:19,661 Do you ever feel like you work because there's something missing? 568 00:32:19,696 --> 00:32:21,146 That got serious suddenly. 569 00:32:21,456 --> 00:32:22,941 We can do serious, can't we? 570 00:32:24,839 --> 00:32:27,876 I love what I do. I love making people laugh. 571 00:32:28,084 --> 00:32:30,500 No, I... I love my job, too. I just... 572 00:32:30,534 --> 00:32:31,673 [inhales, sighs] 573 00:32:31,708 --> 00:32:34,331 Sometimes I feel like there must be something else. 574 00:32:34,849 --> 00:32:35,884 Like what? 575 00:32:37,438 --> 00:32:38,542 I don't know. 576 00:32:39,647 --> 00:32:40,751 Yes, you do. 577 00:32:46,930 --> 00:32:48,725 You know how this goes, right? 578 00:32:48,759 --> 00:32:50,416 We have a few nice nights, 579 00:32:50,451 --> 00:32:52,901 you go back to your life, I go back to mine, 580 00:32:53,350 --> 00:32:54,903 and we never see each other again. 581 00:32:54,938 --> 00:32:57,147 -Mmm. It's a terrible idea. -Mmm. 582 00:32:57,458 --> 00:32:58,493 Terrible. 583 00:32:58,528 --> 00:33:00,219 Truly, truly awful. 584 00:33:13,301 --> 00:33:15,510 [Geordie] Er, I'm afraid I'm gonna have to stop you there. 585 00:33:42,779 --> 00:33:44,229 He told me he'd destroy this. 586 00:33:44,505 --> 00:33:47,301 [Geordie] He used you, like he used Margie. 587 00:33:47,956 --> 00:33:50,338 Not like Margie. I'm not cheap. 588 00:33:50,994 --> 00:33:53,445 You don't like what Roy was making you do? 589 00:33:55,930 --> 00:33:57,725 Him dying certainly put a stop to that. 590 00:33:58,484 --> 00:33:59,899 You think I killed him? 591 00:34:00,383 --> 00:34:01,453 Did you? 592 00:34:01,487 --> 00:34:03,903 A hundred times in my head, but no. 593 00:34:05,112 --> 00:34:06,492 Did you sleep with them? 594 00:34:09,668 --> 00:34:10,738 [scoffs] 595 00:34:12,326 --> 00:34:13,810 Is that all this was to you? 596 00:34:14,397 --> 00:34:16,054 Just a way to blackmail me? 597 00:34:21,197 --> 00:34:23,716 -[door opens and shuts] -[sighs] 598 00:34:26,478 --> 00:34:29,136 [Daniel] Oh, this is the most uncomfortable bed I've ever slept in. 599 00:34:29,170 --> 00:34:33,623 It's cheap and it's gaudy, and I'd quite like Mrs C to boil these sheets. 600 00:34:33,657 --> 00:34:35,970 Hmm. Doesn't seem so bad. 601 00:34:36,004 --> 00:34:37,592 -[knock at door] -Just a minute. 602 00:34:40,733 --> 00:34:41,976 Might I talk with you? 603 00:34:44,806 --> 00:34:45,807 Bryan. 604 00:34:52,538 --> 00:34:53,539 [door closes] 605 00:35:01,961 --> 00:35:05,103 [Geordie] I never had Sunny down as a younger version of Margie. 606 00:35:06,069 --> 00:35:07,105 Are you upset? 607 00:35:07,139 --> 00:35:09,521 -No. -You liar. 608 00:35:11,281 --> 00:35:12,938 You're right about one thing. 609 00:35:13,732 --> 00:35:15,389 You do not have a type. 610 00:35:19,151 --> 00:35:20,635 From a nun to a prostitute... 611 00:35:20,670 --> 00:35:22,775 -Geordie. -It's almost biblical. 612 00:35:26,262 --> 00:35:28,988 [Will] It's Roy. Well, if he's in it, 613 00:35:29,644 --> 00:35:30,852 then who took it? 614 00:35:32,337 --> 00:35:33,717 [crowd clapping] 615 00:35:34,546 --> 00:35:36,306 [Sunny] Thank you, contestant five. 616 00:35:36,341 --> 00:35:37,514 And the scores are? 617 00:35:37,790 --> 00:35:39,723 [Sid] Go on, Margie, get up there. 618 00:35:40,207 --> 00:35:41,863 I don't want to, Sid. 619 00:35:41,898 --> 00:35:43,175 [crowd clapping] 620 00:35:49,388 --> 00:35:51,390 And our final pair of pins. 621 00:35:52,150 --> 00:35:53,599 [Jack] Go on, Sylvia. 622 00:35:53,634 --> 00:35:56,533 [Sunny] Contestant number six is housekeeper to Reverend Davenport 623 00:35:56,568 --> 00:35:58,121 and his curate, Mr Finch. 624 00:35:58,915 --> 00:36:01,124 What did God say after creating man? 625 00:36:01,159 --> 00:36:02,367 "I can do better." 626 00:36:02,401 --> 00:36:04,576 And these legs are living proof. 627 00:36:04,610 --> 00:36:06,681 -[crowd exclaim] -Bloody hell. 628 00:36:06,716 --> 00:36:08,925 -Higher. Higher! -[Will] Lower. 629 00:36:08,959 --> 00:36:10,168 [both] Lower! 630 00:36:10,513 --> 00:36:11,928 [Sunny] Thank you, contestant number six. 631 00:36:12,687 --> 00:36:13,826 And the scores are? 632 00:36:13,861 --> 00:36:16,104 -[Cathy] Well done, Sylvia. -[crowd clapping] 633 00:36:16,346 --> 00:36:19,142 And the winner is contestant number six! 634 00:36:19,177 --> 00:36:20,178 Oh! 635 00:36:24,975 --> 00:36:27,495 This might be the happiest day of my life! 636 00:36:28,082 --> 00:36:30,118 Our wedding apart, of course. 637 00:36:30,533 --> 00:36:33,674 You know, they give it to the old girls out of sympathy. 638 00:36:35,952 --> 00:36:37,988 Know that from experience, Margie? 639 00:36:39,818 --> 00:36:41,095 [Daniel] Mrs Chapman. 640 00:36:43,131 --> 00:36:44,512 -[camera clicks] -Excellent. 641 00:36:46,790 --> 00:36:47,895 [Geordie] A word. 642 00:36:48,482 --> 00:36:49,586 If you don't mind. 643 00:36:51,933 --> 00:36:54,833 Mr Reeves would set up the men with Sunny. 644 00:36:55,937 --> 00:36:57,180 I'd film them. 645 00:36:57,974 --> 00:36:59,217 In flagrante? 646 00:36:59,665 --> 00:37:01,736 No, Sunny would never go that far. 647 00:37:02,323 --> 00:37:05,326 She'd dance with them. A kiss, maybe. 648 00:37:07,570 --> 00:37:09,123 What other footage do you have? 649 00:37:09,779 --> 00:37:11,884 You were filming the night Mr Reeves died. 650 00:37:12,713 --> 00:37:15,233 Uh, just his comedy routine. 651 00:37:16,199 --> 00:37:17,200 [clears throat] 652 00:37:20,168 --> 00:37:22,481 Comedy, in inverted commas. 653 00:37:22,516 --> 00:37:24,380 [Geordie sighs] 654 00:37:25,139 --> 00:37:26,244 Can I take this? 655 00:37:26,968 --> 00:37:28,038 Absolutely. 656 00:37:30,489 --> 00:37:31,835 You're a clergyman? 657 00:37:32,802 --> 00:37:33,906 That's right. 658 00:37:35,218 --> 00:37:37,703 It's a rather delicate matter. 659 00:37:38,601 --> 00:37:40,637 Anything you say will be in confidence. 660 00:37:41,742 --> 00:37:42,950 [Will sighs] 661 00:37:44,917 --> 00:37:46,264 Your curate. 662 00:37:47,679 --> 00:37:50,198 I saw him with a man. 663 00:37:51,234 --> 00:37:52,822 They were in bed together. 664 00:37:54,720 --> 00:37:56,101 That can't be the case. 665 00:37:57,689 --> 00:37:59,725 You... You doubting what I saw? 666 00:37:59,760 --> 00:38:01,934 I'm doubting your reading of the situation. 667 00:38:01,969 --> 00:38:03,695 What other way is there to read it? 668 00:38:05,006 --> 00:38:06,353 -I'll speak to him. -I should report it. 669 00:38:06,387 --> 00:38:07,388 I'll speak to him. 670 00:38:10,115 --> 00:38:12,324 Please just... Just leave it with me. 671 00:38:15,948 --> 00:38:18,468 Action has to be taken, Mr Davenport. 672 00:38:20,194 --> 00:38:21,782 He has to be dealt with. 673 00:38:26,131 --> 00:38:27,235 [door closes] 674 00:38:37,073 --> 00:38:38,177 [inaudible] 675 00:38:54,539 --> 00:38:56,955 Bugger. Nothing. 676 00:38:58,197 --> 00:38:59,475 Let's watch it again. 677 00:39:00,338 --> 00:39:02,823 No, no, no, you don't. 678 00:39:03,306 --> 00:39:04,997 You're gonna have dinner with me. 679 00:39:05,032 --> 00:39:07,206 Then we're going to dance 680 00:39:07,241 --> 00:39:11,970 before you walk me out under the stars to tell me that you love me. 681 00:39:12,004 --> 00:39:13,178 Understood? 682 00:39:14,110 --> 00:39:16,008 That sounds pretty comprehensive. 683 00:39:16,906 --> 00:39:17,907 Mmm. 684 00:39:26,536 --> 00:39:28,538 -[music playing] -[indistinct chatter] 685 00:39:39,687 --> 00:39:41,033 He keeps staring. 686 00:39:42,483 --> 00:39:44,312 Have a drink. Stop worrying. 687 00:39:50,767 --> 00:39:51,803 I'm so scared. 688 00:39:51,837 --> 00:39:53,805 [Babs] Go on. You'll be great. 689 00:40:02,158 --> 00:40:04,229 Roy promised he'd make her a star. 690 00:40:05,161 --> 00:40:07,335 What she had to do wasn't her choice. 691 00:40:07,370 --> 00:40:09,441 Roy wasn't there when she made a play for me. 692 00:40:09,855 --> 00:40:11,788 Who said she was making a play? 693 00:40:12,824 --> 00:40:16,137 Did it ever cross your mind that it was as simple as she liked you? 694 00:40:30,151 --> 00:40:32,499 [sighs] Not now. I've got butterflies enough. 695 00:40:32,706 --> 00:40:35,916 I'm sorry. You can understand why I thought what I thought. 696 00:40:35,950 --> 00:40:37,435 That I was cheap? 697 00:40:37,814 --> 00:40:40,610 -That your intentions towards me were... -Cheap. 698 00:40:41,508 --> 00:40:42,509 I'm not Margie. 699 00:40:42,716 --> 00:40:43,889 I didn't say you were. 700 00:40:43,924 --> 00:40:45,201 I didn't sleep with them. 701 00:40:45,926 --> 00:40:48,342 I'm not hitching my wagon to the first miserable old sod 702 00:40:48,376 --> 00:40:49,723 who can get me out of here. 703 00:40:50,413 --> 00:40:51,587 I liked you. 704 00:40:53,002 --> 00:40:54,659 "Liked?" Past tense? 705 00:40:56,350 --> 00:40:57,558 [music stops] 706 00:40:57,593 --> 00:40:59,042 [crowd clapping] 707 00:40:59,733 --> 00:41:01,976 The Merries house band. 708 00:41:04,254 --> 00:41:07,568 Now, please give a very warm welcome 709 00:41:07,603 --> 00:41:12,228 to tonight's act, Miss Pamela Smith. 710 00:41:12,262 --> 00:41:13,505 [crowd clapping] 711 00:41:14,195 --> 00:41:15,265 We'll see. 712 00:41:21,202 --> 00:41:22,549 Thank you. Thank you. 713 00:41:23,550 --> 00:41:25,828 I've been doing some decorating recently. 714 00:41:25,862 --> 00:41:29,659 Do you know how many men it takes to wallpaper a bedroom? 715 00:41:30,418 --> 00:41:32,869 Well, depends on how thinly you slice them. 716 00:41:32,904 --> 00:41:34,388 [crowd laughing] 717 00:41:37,253 --> 00:41:38,357 [inaudible] 718 00:41:42,430 --> 00:41:44,709 A friend of mine once said that marriage is a... 719 00:41:44,743 --> 00:41:46,400 -The stout. -What? 720 00:41:47,574 --> 00:41:49,230 The lidocaine was in his stout. 721 00:41:49,265 --> 00:41:51,716 [Sunny] ...engagement ring, wedding ring, suffering. 722 00:41:51,750 --> 00:41:53,062 [crowd laughing] 723 00:41:58,032 --> 00:42:00,725 [Geordie] Right. Don't take your eyes off that glass. 724 00:42:02,347 --> 00:42:03,590 Oh, bugger. 725 00:42:03,624 --> 00:42:04,625 No, no, no. No. 726 00:42:05,315 --> 00:42:07,214 Look how much stout's in his glass now. 727 00:42:08,387 --> 00:42:09,734 Maybe he got a top-up. 728 00:42:11,183 --> 00:42:13,254 [Geordie] Or someone gave him that glass. 729 00:42:16,741 --> 00:42:19,709 [Sunny] I sometimes think wives are like ventriloquists. 730 00:42:19,744 --> 00:42:22,816 They sit there nodding whilst the dummy does all the talking. 731 00:42:22,850 --> 00:42:23,851 [laughing] 732 00:42:25,025 --> 00:42:27,924 [Sunny] You know what I mean, ladies. Yak, yak, yak. 733 00:42:28,546 --> 00:42:33,136 [sighs] My grandmother had it right. She buried three husbands. Three. 734 00:42:33,171 --> 00:42:34,759 Two of them were only napping. 735 00:42:35,483 --> 00:42:37,796 My granny was on to something, she really was. 736 00:42:37,831 --> 00:42:41,593 She said the quickest way to a man's heart was through his chest. 737 00:42:42,352 --> 00:42:43,733 She wasn't wrong. 738 00:42:43,768 --> 00:42:46,771 You put the lidocaine in your own drink and you gave it to Roy. 739 00:42:47,150 --> 00:42:48,496 I don't follow ya. 740 00:42:48,531 --> 00:42:49,670 Outside. 741 00:42:49,705 --> 00:42:52,086 [Sunny] ...which is pretty much like having a husband. 742 00:42:52,121 --> 00:42:55,193 A dog who growls all morning, a parrot who swears all day, 743 00:42:55,227 --> 00:42:57,436 and a cat who comes home late at night. 744 00:42:58,127 --> 00:43:00,439 If your husband brings you flowers, ladies, 745 00:43:00,474 --> 00:43:03,408 and says it's for no reason, there's a reason. 746 00:43:03,442 --> 00:43:05,548 There is most definitely a reason. 747 00:43:05,583 --> 00:43:06,722 [Sunny] I'm not Margie. 748 00:43:06,756 --> 00:43:07,826 [gasps] 749 00:43:09,138 --> 00:43:10,898 I'm not hitching my wagon to the first miserable old sod 750 00:43:10,933 --> 00:43:12,382 who can get me out of here. 751 00:43:12,417 --> 00:43:15,593 [Margie] For goodness' sake, Sid, did you have to make such a show? 752 00:43:15,627 --> 00:43:17,008 Everyone's staring. 753 00:43:31,160 --> 00:43:33,369 Roy set out to ruin you, Sid. 754 00:43:34,025 --> 00:43:36,579 You put enough lidocaine in that drink to kill him. 755 00:43:37,476 --> 00:43:39,375 -That's right, isn't it? -No. 756 00:43:41,584 --> 00:43:42,827 No, it isn't right. 757 00:43:44,311 --> 00:43:47,417 It's pretty insensitive to bring your wife here for your anniversary. 758 00:43:47,728 --> 00:43:50,420 A place where everyone knew about her past. 759 00:43:51,180 --> 00:43:53,769 Perhaps that was the final humiliation. 760 00:43:58,221 --> 00:44:00,465 You put the lidocaine in Sid's pint. 761 00:44:05,159 --> 00:44:15,618 And then Roy accidentally took the pint intended for your husband. 762 00:44:15,653 --> 00:44:19,277 When Sid fell, you must've thought it was all going to plan. 763 00:44:19,311 --> 00:44:21,210 But he was drunk, not poisoned. 764 00:44:21,244 --> 00:44:22,487 Sid! 765 00:44:23,177 --> 00:44:24,834 I... I don't understand. 766 00:44:26,422 --> 00:44:28,217 You took Sid back to your chalet. 767 00:44:28,251 --> 00:44:31,185 -[Sid snoring] -He wasn't dying. So you panicked. 768 00:44:31,220 --> 00:44:33,463 And then for some reason, you went out again. 769 00:44:35,983 --> 00:44:37,640 I still had the vial on me. 770 00:44:38,054 --> 00:44:39,538 I had to get rid of it. 771 00:44:39,573 --> 00:44:41,748 Margie, my love. What are you saying? 772 00:44:43,577 --> 00:44:45,717 [Will] We know Roy was in his office because of the music. 773 00:44:45,752 --> 00:44:46,994 [music playing] 774 00:44:48,409 --> 00:44:50,170 And we know he made it outside because of the mud on his shoes. 775 00:44:50,204 --> 00:44:51,343 [Roy gagging] 776 00:44:57,833 --> 00:45:00,490 You knew Roy practised his routine after hours. 777 00:45:00,974 --> 00:45:03,148 So you dragged him into the ballroom. 778 00:45:04,702 --> 00:45:06,496 When I saw him, I knew. 779 00:45:10,811 --> 00:45:12,157 Knew what, Margie? 780 00:45:14,056 --> 00:45:16,265 That I'd killed the wrong man. 781 00:45:18,336 --> 00:45:19,647 You don't mean that. 782 00:45:20,856 --> 00:45:22,478 I... I don't understand. I don't. 783 00:45:23,444 --> 00:45:26,137 You brought me here to score points. 784 00:45:26,344 --> 00:45:28,035 How do you think that makes me feel? 785 00:45:28,795 --> 00:45:31,004 Roy was the one who humiliated you. 786 00:45:31,038 --> 00:45:33,972 [Margie] You treat me like some kind of prize. 787 00:45:34,455 --> 00:45:36,388 I feel worthless, Sid. 788 00:45:37,044 --> 00:45:39,426 You were nothing but a whore when I met you. 789 00:45:40,220 --> 00:45:42,601 And you still make me feel like one. 790 00:45:43,016 --> 00:45:44,811 [Sid] I saved you from the bastard. 791 00:45:44,845 --> 00:45:46,226 [Margie] That's not enough. 792 00:45:46,260 --> 00:45:47,814 I gave you everything. 793 00:45:48,228 --> 00:45:49,574 [Margie] Not love, Sid. 794 00:45:50,264 --> 00:45:52,094 You never gave me love. 795 00:45:58,169 --> 00:45:59,170 [sighs] 796 00:46:08,800 --> 00:46:11,147 [Leonard] Even on holiday, we can't be us. 797 00:46:15,876 --> 00:46:18,499 Bryan would be a damn fool to take it any further. 798 00:46:19,224 --> 00:46:20,639 It's more than that. 799 00:46:21,848 --> 00:46:23,781 We can never be ourselves. 800 00:46:25,644 --> 00:46:27,612 I long to hold hands. 801 00:46:31,789 --> 00:46:33,894 Imagine if we could hold hands every day. 802 00:46:34,792 --> 00:46:44,871 It would become very dull very quickly. We'd just be like the rest of them. 803 00:46:44,905 --> 00:46:46,010 Come here. 804 00:46:48,978 --> 00:46:49,979 [chuckles] 805 00:46:50,738 --> 00:46:51,739 [chuckles] 806 00:46:55,467 --> 00:46:57,849 -Right, now, straight to the car. -[Ivy] Come on! 807 00:46:57,884 --> 00:47:00,162 Stop running! Ivy! Oh. 808 00:47:02,716 --> 00:47:05,339 [Mrs Chapman] Knew that Margie had a glint in her eye. 809 00:47:05,374 --> 00:47:08,411 -Oh, that's definitive. -I was right, though. It was the wife. 810 00:47:08,446 --> 00:47:09,827 [Will] You thought it was Roy's wife. 811 00:47:09,861 --> 00:47:11,483 You can't just pick any wife. 812 00:47:14,383 --> 00:47:16,074 I hear it's you I've got to thank. 813 00:47:16,109 --> 00:47:17,489 And with such sincerity. 814 00:47:17,524 --> 00:47:20,147 Oh, I still think there's a chance it could be natural causes. 815 00:47:20,182 --> 00:47:21,183 But there you go. 816 00:47:21,666 --> 00:47:22,943 She confessed. 817 00:47:22,978 --> 00:47:24,600 ...isn't it? 818 00:47:25,497 --> 00:47:29,674 Well, safe travels...sir. 819 00:47:30,399 --> 00:47:33,747 20% off next year. How does that sound? 820 00:47:34,334 --> 00:47:35,853 Thirty, and you've got a deal. 821 00:47:36,129 --> 00:47:37,268 We're doing this again? 822 00:47:38,096 --> 00:47:40,892 -I think we should make it a yearly event. -No. 823 00:47:40,927 --> 00:47:42,860 No way. We're never coming back here. 824 00:47:49,211 --> 00:47:50,591 [Bryan] Er, these are yours. 825 00:47:50,833 --> 00:47:51,903 [Will] Thank you. 826 00:47:57,219 --> 00:47:58,910 I've, er, spoken to Mr Finch. 827 00:47:59,462 --> 00:48:00,532 And? 828 00:48:01,740 --> 00:48:03,846 I'll be taking up the matter on our return. 829 00:48:05,434 --> 00:48:06,884 I felt it was my duty. 830 00:48:07,677 --> 00:48:09,990 More than that, I felt it was a moral obligation. 831 00:48:10,818 --> 00:48:12,199 I hope you understand. 832 00:48:12,682 --> 00:48:15,237 I'd appreciate it if you'd let me handle it from here. 833 00:48:15,651 --> 00:48:16,721 Of course. 834 00:48:21,691 --> 00:48:23,003 What did he want? 835 00:48:23,521 --> 00:48:24,763 Photographs. 836 00:48:24,798 --> 00:48:25,903 That all? 837 00:48:27,214 --> 00:48:28,491 What else would it be? 838 00:48:28,802 --> 00:48:30,804 -Oh. -Now, I don't know about you, 839 00:48:30,838 --> 00:48:33,048 but I am really looking forward to getting home. 840 00:48:38,708 --> 00:48:41,677 The thing about this place, everyone always leaves. 841 00:48:42,574 --> 00:48:43,610 You could leave, too. 842 00:48:43,644 --> 00:48:45,646 I'm going to. End of the season. 843 00:48:46,095 --> 00:48:47,372 You're wrong, by the way. 844 00:48:47,407 --> 00:48:49,409 I seem to be making a habit of that. 845 00:48:49,650 --> 00:48:51,825 Maybe you work because you love it. 846 00:48:52,170 --> 00:48:54,103 Not because there's something missing. 847 00:48:59,522 --> 00:49:02,836 Shame. I think I could've fallen in love with you. 848 00:49:10,223 --> 00:49:13,812 [Babs on speakers] Welcome to Merries, where there's never a dull day, 849 00:49:13,847 --> 00:49:16,091 and the sun always shines. 850 00:49:16,746 --> 00:49:19,887 Forget work, leave your worries far behind, 851 00:49:19,922 --> 00:49:25,169 and get ready to make friends and memories you'll never forget. 852 00:49:25,203 --> 00:49:29,759 For those guests who are leaving us, we wish you bon voyage. 853 00:49:29,794 --> 00:49:32,486 But don't despair, it's not forever. 854 00:49:33,384 --> 00:49:38,492 Though you may be far away, no distance can keep us apart. 855 00:49:38,527 --> 00:49:42,013 We'll hold you safe in our hearts. 856 00:49:42,393 --> 00:49:46,604 And in time, we'll meet again. 857 00:49:47,018 --> 00:49:48,986 [theme music playing] 858 00:49:49,036 --> 00:49:53,586 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 61485

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