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[Will] The measure of aman
is not in his beliefs but in his actions.
4
00:00:28,683 --> 00:00:29,822
Who said that?
5
00:00:29,857 --> 00:00:31,100
Was it G. K. Chesterton?
6
00:00:31,134 --> 00:00:32,170
Never mind.
7
00:00:33,378 --> 00:00:34,793
Whoever it was,
they knew what they were talking about.
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00:00:35,242 --> 00:00:36,691
This vocation of ours,
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00:00:36,726 --> 00:00:39,280
it's about so much more
than just preaching the word of God.
10
00:00:39,315 --> 00:00:40,592
It's about living it.
11
00:00:42,214 --> 00:00:44,803
It's about getting out
there amongst the people, not just giving our time.
12
00:00:44,837 --> 00:00:47,495
We're giving ourselves.
What we're doing isn't important.
13
00:00:47,530 --> 00:00:50,464
Who cares if we're sleeping,
eating. These people need us.
14
00:00:51,534 --> 00:00:53,501
We can't just sit
on the sidelines praying.
15
00:00:53,536 --> 00:00:56,435
What use is that on its own?
It's no bloody use at all.
16
00:00:56,470 --> 00:00:58,575
Our door must always be
open.
17
00:00:58,610 --> 00:01:00,681
Day and night, night and
day.
18
00:01:01,233 --> 00:01:03,856
We have to do as well. We
have to act.
19
00:01:03,891 --> 00:01:05,824
We are the helpers.
20
00:01:06,480 --> 00:01:10,415
Every minute of every hour of
every day, it is our duty to help.
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00:01:10,449 --> 00:01:11,554
[Leanard] Might I make a
suggestion?
22
00:01:12,175 --> 00:01:13,245
Of course.
23
00:01:14,177 --> 00:01:16,559
Do you think perhaps
you need a little holiday?
24
00:01:17,353 --> 00:01:18,595
[MOTORBIKE ENGINE ROARING]
25
00:01:23,600 --> 00:01:25,361
[man over loudspeakers]
Welcome to Merries,
26
00:01:25,395 --> 00:01:29,123
where there's never a dull day,
and the sun always shines.
27
00:01:29,158 --> 00:01:33,369
Leave your worries far behind
you and forget about everyday strife.
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00:01:33,403 --> 00:01:36,026
We're here to put a smile on
your face.
29
00:01:36,061 --> 00:01:41,998
This is your time to relax,
to unwind, to enjoy life to the fullest.
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00:01:42,032 --> 00:01:44,311
You can be who you please at
Merries.
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00:01:44,345 --> 00:01:48,038
So put on you glad rags,
dust off your dancing shoes,
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00:01:48,073 --> 00:01:52,319
and get ready to make friends
and memories you'll never forget.
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00:01:52,353 --> 00:01:56,116
I wish you and yours
a truly wonderful day.
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00:01:56,150 --> 00:01:57,151
[Cathy] Off you go then.
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00:01:57,186 --> 00:01:59,049
[Ivy and Dora] Summer holiday!
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00:02:00,223 --> 00:02:03,192
I'm pretty sure hell is two
hours in a car with that lot.
37
00:02:03,951 --> 00:02:05,159
So mature.
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00:02:05,194 --> 00:02:08,128
They're excited.
They're allowed to be excited.
39
00:02:08,162 --> 00:02:10,820
-It's hell, Cathy. It's
absolute hell. -[chuckles]
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00:02:10,854 --> 00:02:12,373
It is absolute hell.
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00:02:13,029 --> 00:02:14,582
Sylvia, where's my hat?
42
00:02:14,617 --> 00:02:16,066
On your head, Jack.
43
00:02:17,413 --> 00:02:19,898
I need to make a call.
I didn't cancel Bible study.
44
00:02:19,932 --> 00:02:21,520
-Oh, no. No, no, no, no.
-What?
45
00:02:21,555 --> 00:02:23,488
No talking about work. We're on
holiday.
46
00:02:23,522 --> 00:02:24,558
[Mrs Chapman] How was the train?
47
00:02:24,592 --> 00:02:25,973
Busy. What have I missed?
48
00:02:26,007 --> 00:02:27,181
Will, talking about work.
49
00:02:27,216 --> 00:02:28,596
Oh, I don't talk about it that
much.
50
00:02:28,631 --> 00:02:30,391
-You're still talking about it
now. -Yeah.
51
00:02:31,668 --> 00:02:32,738
Where's Leonard?
52
00:02:32,773 --> 00:02:34,326
Looking for his Gorky.
53
00:02:34,361 --> 00:02:36,949
[Cathy] Oh, Sylvia! They do
donkey rides.
54
00:02:36,984 --> 00:02:38,019
[Leonard] A-ha!
55
00:02:38,054 --> 00:02:40,746
Only Maxim can get me
through this torment.
56
00:02:40,781 --> 00:02:44,474
To hell with Maxim.
We're getting drunk and going on a pedalo.
57
00:02:44,957 --> 00:02:46,959
-Good Lord.
-[Roy] You all right?
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00:02:46,994 --> 00:02:48,306
[train tooting]
59
00:02:48,340 --> 00:02:49,479
Oi, oi!
60
00:02:50,825 --> 00:02:53,863
Oh! [laughing]
61
00:02:56,210 --> 00:02:57,211
Davenport party?
62
00:02:57,246 --> 00:02:58,316
That's us.
63
00:02:58,350 --> 00:03:00,180
[both] Welcome to Merries!
64
00:03:00,214 --> 00:03:02,872
I'm Roy Reeves, your most
venerated host.
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00:03:03,217 --> 00:03:04,632
This is the other half, Babs.
66
00:03:04,667 --> 00:03:06,186
We met at castanet class.
67
00:03:06,220 --> 00:03:08,498
Yeah, I don't know what it was.
We just clicked.
68
00:03:08,533 --> 00:03:09,568
[both click tongue]
69
00:03:09,603 --> 00:03:10,845
[both laughing]
70
00:03:12,330 --> 00:03:15,229
Sunny, would you mind showing
these fine folk to their chalets, please?
71
00:03:15,264 --> 00:03:16,541
Absolutely, Mr Reeves.
72
00:03:17,335 --> 00:03:19,026
Castanet class... [chuckling]
73
00:03:19,371 --> 00:03:20,372
Ta-da!
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00:03:20,648 --> 00:03:23,064
I hope you're all ready for a
merry time.
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00:03:23,099 --> 00:03:24,307
[Will] Yep.
[others] Yes.
76
00:03:24,342 --> 00:03:26,413
Doesn't sound very merry to me.
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00:03:26,447 --> 00:03:28,932
Are you ready for a merry time?
78
00:03:28,967 --> 00:03:30,451
[all] Yes!
[Sunny] Yes!
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00:03:30,486 --> 00:03:32,488
[upbeat music playing]
80
00:03:42,601 --> 00:03:43,775
[Ivy] Yay!
81
00:03:56,753 --> 00:03:58,617
-[Jack speaks indistinctly]
-Hey!
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00:04:01,793 --> 00:04:03,484
[indistinct chatter]
83
00:04:09,766 --> 00:04:10,871
Hi, there.
84
00:04:10,905 --> 00:04:12,182
[indistinct chatter]
85
00:04:13,598 --> 00:04:14,806
[imperceptible]
86
00:04:17,809 --> 00:04:19,189
Ooh. Smile.
87
00:04:32,306 --> 00:04:35,447
Sorry, we're a little delayed
due to...
88
00:04:35,482 --> 00:04:37,277
-Snoozing.
-Good to know.
89
00:04:37,311 --> 00:04:38,485
[Leonard] We'll be right behind
you.
90
00:04:43,110 --> 00:04:46,286
Sorry we're late.
Er, we were...having a snooze.
91
00:04:49,841 --> 00:04:51,291
Sorry. Sorry.
92
00:04:51,636 --> 00:04:52,775
Having a snooze?
93
00:04:52,809 --> 00:04:53,983
If you say so.
94
00:04:54,639 --> 00:04:56,365
-Jack!
-What?
95
00:04:56,710 --> 00:04:57,780
[all chuckling]
96
00:04:57,814 --> 00:04:59,851
[Roy] Welcome, one and
all.
97
00:04:59,885 --> 00:05:04,131
Hope you're ready to have
fun, fun, fun tonight, you merry lot.
98
00:05:04,614 --> 00:05:08,653
Welcome to the stage,
the one, the only
99
00:05:08,963 --> 00:05:11,345
Merries house band!
100
00:05:11,380 --> 00:05:13,243
-[crowd clapping]
-[playing Rock 'n' roll music]
101
00:05:17,109 --> 00:05:18,628
[singing]
When i get to my job
102
00:05:18,663 --> 00:05:20,043
It just gets me down
103
00:05:20,078 --> 00:05:22,874
A needle and a record
just to keep me sound...
104
00:05:23,219 --> 00:05:26,187
"Fun." Was there ever a more
insipid word?
105
00:05:26,912 --> 00:05:28,397
You know what I hate more than
fun?
106
00:05:28,431 --> 00:05:29,812
[both] Enforced fun?
107
00:05:29,846 --> 00:05:33,298
If someone has to tell you
something's fun, it generally isn't.
108
00:05:33,471 --> 00:05:35,404
Oh! Neighbours.
109
00:05:35,438 --> 00:05:36,577
Nice.
110
00:05:36,612 --> 00:05:40,547
I'm Sid Danker.
This is my, er, wife, Margie.
111
00:05:40,995 --> 00:05:42,342
-Nice to meet ya.
-Hello.
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00:05:42,376 --> 00:05:43,653
How'd you do? Ooh.
113
00:05:44,171 --> 00:05:46,104
Mwah. [chuckles]
114
00:05:46,484 --> 00:05:47,623
You been here before?
115
00:05:47,657 --> 00:05:48,969
No. First time.
116
00:05:49,314 --> 00:05:52,386
Quality of guest isn't what it
was. Too many Northerners.
117
00:05:53,042 --> 00:05:54,043
Is that right?
118
00:05:55,320 --> 00:05:58,081
He had promised he was going to
take me to the...this year.
119
00:05:58,116 --> 00:06:00,290
Who needs the...
when you've got all this, huh?
120
00:06:00,325 --> 00:06:01,775
[chuckles] I'll tell you what.
121
00:06:01,809 --> 00:06:03,397
We'll get on your table
tomorrow, shall we?
122
00:06:03,432 --> 00:06:04,778
We'll have a good chin wag.
123
00:06:05,295 --> 00:06:06,780
-Lovely.
-[Cathy] Yeah. Lovely.
124
00:06:07,297 --> 00:06:09,783
-Wouldn't that be lovely?
-[others] Yeah, lovely.
125
00:06:21,657 --> 00:06:23,037
[indistinct chatter]
126
00:06:25,868 --> 00:06:27,663
Scouts! I didn't cancel them.
127
00:06:27,973 --> 00:06:29,527
[Jack] Will.
[others] Will!
128
00:06:29,561 --> 00:06:30,976
Relax.
129
00:06:31,805 --> 00:06:33,462
[Geordie] Tiptoe through the
roses.
130
00:06:33,496 --> 00:06:34,739
Tulips.
131
00:06:34,773 --> 00:06:35,809
Exactly.
132
00:06:35,843 --> 00:06:37,466
Breathe the fresh air.
133
00:06:37,500 --> 00:06:38,743
Look at the stars.
134
00:06:38,777 --> 00:06:40,227
Have a snooze, maybe.
135
00:06:40,607 --> 00:06:43,541
It's, er, been a while
since you had a lady friend.
136
00:06:43,575 --> 00:06:45,405
Romance. That's what you need.
137
00:06:45,439 --> 00:06:47,441
-Find yourself a nice girl.
-[Will] All right, all right.
138
00:06:47,476 --> 00:06:50,548
Thank you, everyone, for that
sage and unsolicited advice.
139
00:06:50,582 --> 00:06:53,240
Photograph? Two bob for five
copies.
140
00:06:53,274 --> 00:06:54,379
Oh, lovely.
141
00:06:54,414 --> 00:06:58,003
[Cathy] Nice. Smile. Come on.
142
00:06:58,418 --> 00:07:00,454
[Bryan] Say "Merries."
143
00:07:01,075 --> 00:07:02,352
[all] Merries!
144
00:07:04,251 --> 00:07:05,252
[chuckling]
145
00:07:06,702 --> 00:07:09,014
I couldn't help but overhear.
146
00:07:09,256 --> 00:07:11,258
If it's a nice girl you're
looking for...
147
00:07:12,846 --> 00:07:14,019
[laughs]
148
00:07:17,782 --> 00:07:19,059
She's not my type.
149
00:07:19,300 --> 00:07:23,235
Mmm. Too attractive? Too
friendly?
150
00:07:23,270 --> 00:07:25,341
Too uncomplicated?
151
00:07:26,100 --> 00:07:27,101
[sighs]
152
00:07:30,070 --> 00:07:32,106
[rock music playing]
153
00:07:32,141 --> 00:07:33,591
[indistinct chatter]
154
00:07:43,428 --> 00:07:44,602
[inaudible]
155
00:07:48,813 --> 00:07:50,297
[crowd cheering]
156
00:07:59,271 --> 00:08:00,272
[sighs]
157
00:08:03,241 --> 00:08:05,105
[Roy] The Merries house band,
everyone.
158
00:08:05,139 --> 00:08:07,901
-Weren't they fantastic, yeah?
-[crowd clapping]
159
00:08:07,935 --> 00:08:10,317
Now before we crack on,
160
00:08:10,351 --> 00:08:16,530
regulars Margie and Sid
have been married two years today.
161
00:08:16,565 --> 00:08:17,842
Hurray!
162
00:08:18,670 --> 00:08:21,052
Come on, jump in. Come, up you
come.
163
00:08:21,811 --> 00:08:22,916
Come on.
164
00:08:22,950 --> 00:08:24,504
[crowd clapping]
165
00:08:27,127 --> 00:08:28,508
Ain't she beautiful?
166
00:08:30,130 --> 00:08:33,029
Come on, give 'em a spin. Give
'em a spin.
167
00:08:33,064 --> 00:08:34,203
[crowd cheering]
168
00:08:36,412 --> 00:08:38,138
Happy anniversary, darling.
169
00:08:41,106 --> 00:08:42,625
You're the light of my life.
170
00:08:42,660 --> 00:08:46,180
[Roy] Let's see how that light's
going in a decade, eh, folks?
171
00:08:46,215 --> 00:08:47,319
[crowd laughs]
172
00:08:47,803 --> 00:08:49,425
Margie and Sid.
173
00:08:50,426 --> 00:08:52,221
[crowd clapping and cheering]
174
00:08:56,881 --> 00:08:58,745
For goodness' sake, Sid,
did you have to make such a show?
175
00:08:58,779 --> 00:09:00,643
-Everyone's staring.
-[scoffs]
176
00:09:00,678 --> 00:09:02,058
[crowd laughing]
177
00:09:06,338 --> 00:09:08,582
Had my cheque book stolen the
other day.
178
00:09:08,617 --> 00:09:10,342
I didn't report it to the
police.
179
00:09:11,620 --> 00:09:14,001
Nah, the thief spent less than
the wife.
180
00:09:14,036 --> 00:09:16,107
But that is marriage for you.
181
00:09:16,141 --> 00:09:18,212
It a very expensive way
of getting your laundry done for free.
182
00:09:18,247 --> 00:09:21,077
I'm not sure I can sit through
this for the next five minutes.
183
00:09:21,112 --> 00:09:23,632
Try a whole summer. It's
intolerable.
184
00:09:24,115 --> 00:09:27,428
[Roy] You know, marriage,
it's like a deck chair, innit?
185
00:09:28,291 --> 00:09:31,916
It's ever so comfy at first,
bloody impossible to get out of.
186
00:09:31,950 --> 00:09:33,469
[crowd laughing]
187
00:09:34,574 --> 00:09:36,127
-Whoa!
-Sid!
188
00:09:36,852 --> 00:09:37,956
[man] Sid!
189
00:09:42,685 --> 00:09:44,411
Help me get him back to the
chalet.
190
00:09:48,346 --> 00:09:50,175
Quality of guest isn't what it
was.
191
00:09:50,210 --> 00:09:52,799
[Roy] Look! I've got 'em rolling
in the aisles down here.
192
00:09:53,144 --> 00:09:54,524
It's not that funny, Sid.
193
00:09:54,559 --> 00:09:56,423
[crowd laughing]
194
00:09:58,321 --> 00:10:02,602
She said to me, she said,
"You wanna try being more affectionate."
195
00:10:02,636 --> 00:10:04,396
So I got myself a girlfriend.
196
00:10:04,431 --> 00:10:05,639
[crowd laughs]
197
00:10:06,502 --> 00:10:09,678
But don't get me wrong.
Don't get me wrong.
198
00:10:09,712 --> 00:10:14,303
Me and the missus were both
very happy for 30 years. Yeah.
199
00:10:14,337 --> 00:10:16,374
-And then we met.
-[laughter]
200
00:10:19,688 --> 00:10:21,448
[music playing over speakers]
201
00:10:24,865 --> 00:10:26,522
[Will sighs] Nightcap?
202
00:10:27,696 --> 00:10:33,909
I would, but I thought it
might be nice to take in the evening air.
203
00:10:33,943 --> 00:10:34,944
Right.
204
00:10:43,125 --> 00:10:44,644
[rhythmic knocking at door]
205
00:10:48,578 --> 00:10:49,718
That's not the knock.
206
00:11:16,848 --> 00:11:18,919
[indistinct chatter, laughter in
distance]
207
00:11:22,751 --> 00:11:24,166
[distorted music playing]
208
00:11:36,247 --> 00:11:38,698
Do you wanna join in? No? Oh.
209
00:11:38,732 --> 00:11:42,287
[Sunny] Simon says,
hop like a bunny rabbit! Hop, hop, hop.
210
00:11:42,322 --> 00:11:43,703
Good Lord.
211
00:11:45,497 --> 00:11:47,430
Oh, come on. I'm starving.
212
00:11:48,155 --> 00:11:50,330
My stomach thinks my throat's
been cut.
213
00:11:50,882 --> 00:11:53,229
-I know. I understand.
-[man] I've been standing here
214
00:11:53,264 --> 00:11:54,403
for 25 minutes.
215
00:11:54,437 --> 00:11:55,784
[woman] I want a refund.
216
00:11:55,818 --> 00:11:58,683
Er, ladies and gentlemen,
if you could just bear with us...
217
00:11:58,718 --> 00:11:59,857
Come with me now.
218
00:11:59,891 --> 00:12:01,928
...we'll be serving breakfast
as soon as we can.
219
00:12:01,962 --> 00:12:04,206
Standards have slipped. Didn't I
say?
220
00:12:04,240 --> 00:12:06,484
Probably all those Northerners,
eh?
221
00:12:07,450 --> 00:12:08,486
Oh.
222
00:12:08,520 --> 00:12:10,833
Looks like somebody had the
dodgy salmon.
223
00:12:13,767 --> 00:12:17,219
Nah. I'm on my holidays.
224
00:12:30,508 --> 00:12:32,648
-Guests aren't allowed in here.
-I'm a vicar.
225
00:12:49,458 --> 00:12:51,149
[indistinct chatter]
226
00:12:53,876 --> 00:12:55,291
[bell ringing]
227
00:13:04,093 --> 00:13:05,094
[sighs]
228
00:13:06,302 --> 00:13:07,821
Wife's in a terrible state.
229
00:13:08,166 --> 00:13:09,719
It's none of my business.
230
00:13:09,961 --> 00:13:11,273
Police haven't sealed off the
scene.
231
00:13:11,307 --> 00:13:15,553
My only business
is relaxing with my thoughts.
232
00:13:15,587 --> 00:13:17,417
Already seen the laundry men go
in.
233
00:13:17,451 --> 00:13:19,488
Guests leaving without being
interviewed.
234
00:13:21,662 --> 00:13:22,732
Absolutely not.
235
00:13:25,874 --> 00:13:27,876
Absolutely bloody not.
236
00:13:30,671 --> 00:13:32,018
[indistinct conversation]
237
00:13:32,052 --> 00:13:34,779
You might want to photograph
the body before you move him.
238
00:13:36,298 --> 00:13:39,611
Detective Constable Gerry Wicks.
239
00:13:39,991 --> 00:13:41,165
And who the hell might you be?
240
00:13:41,890 --> 00:13:43,719
Detective Inspector Keating.
241
00:13:44,927 --> 00:13:45,963
I see.
242
00:13:45,997 --> 00:13:47,792
Technically, "I see, sir."
243
00:13:49,759 --> 00:13:51,900
Wife says he had a dodgy ticker.
244
00:13:51,934 --> 00:13:54,626
Few too many beers. Few too many
ciggies.
245
00:13:54,661 --> 00:13:56,697
Hits the deck like a sack of
potatoes.
246
00:14:00,046 --> 00:14:03,670
Apologies. It's, er, natural
causes.
247
00:14:03,704 --> 00:14:05,189
I'd stake my life on it.
248
00:14:06,500 --> 00:14:07,501
[Will] Geordie.
249
00:14:08,778 --> 00:14:11,609
Soil. Here, you see?
250
00:14:13,922 --> 00:14:14,992
He was dragged in.
251
00:14:15,924 --> 00:14:16,994
[Gerry] Lidocaine.
252
00:14:18,271 --> 00:14:20,031
Might not wanna stake your life
on natural causes just yet.
253
00:14:20,066 --> 00:14:21,412
Was he taking painkillers?
254
00:14:21,895 --> 00:14:24,829
Roy had a slipped disc.
It had bothered him for years.
255
00:14:25,726 --> 00:14:26,935
Was it bothering him last night?
256
00:14:26,969 --> 00:14:28,108
[Babs] Well, I wouldn't know.
257
00:14:28,143 --> 00:14:31,146
He comes here to practice
his routine after closing.
258
00:14:31,836 --> 00:14:32,872
I was in bed.
259
00:14:34,183 --> 00:14:35,391
Yep, thank you.
260
00:14:35,426 --> 00:14:40,569
Thank you for your concern, sir.
261
00:14:41,604 --> 00:14:43,296
I look forward to speaking
again, Gerry.
262
00:14:44,366 --> 00:14:45,470
[Geordie sighs]
263
00:14:46,368 --> 00:14:48,370
You don't mind
if I call you Gerry, do you?
264
00:14:52,098 --> 00:14:55,929
If you could be as discreet as
possible, I would really appreciate it.
265
00:14:56,688 --> 00:14:59,277
You seemed upset by your
husband's jokes.
266
00:15:00,278 --> 00:15:01,486
They're terrible jokes.
267
00:15:01,935 --> 00:15:03,385
About his terrible wife.
268
00:15:04,144 --> 00:15:05,939
It's an act. It's not real.
269
00:15:05,974 --> 00:15:07,527
A little close to the knuckle.
270
00:15:07,561 --> 00:15:14,534
A joke isn't a joke if it's
not close to the knuckle, wouldn't you say?
271
00:15:14,568 --> 00:15:15,569
[door opens]
272
00:15:16,881 --> 00:15:17,882
[door closes]
273
00:15:20,609 --> 00:15:22,542
Five whole days without a
carcass.
274
00:15:22,956 --> 00:15:24,130
Is it too much to ask?
275
00:15:24,164 --> 00:15:25,303
[Babs] We keep going.
276
00:15:25,338 --> 00:15:29,169
We keep giving our guests
a merry old time. For Roy.
277
00:15:29,652 --> 00:15:30,964
She seems pretty stoic.
278
00:15:32,793 --> 00:15:34,692
And, er, where do you think
you're off, young lady?
279
00:15:34,726 --> 00:15:37,281
It's not a Stalinist state,
the last time I checked.
280
00:15:38,040 --> 00:15:39,283
Too much time with Leonard.
281
00:15:39,317 --> 00:15:40,905
Stay close, please.
282
00:15:41,147 --> 00:15:42,389
I mean it, Es.
283
00:15:47,153 --> 00:15:48,395
Howdy there, fellas.
284
00:15:50,018 --> 00:15:50,984
Howdy, Sid.
285
00:15:51,571 --> 00:15:52,641
Is it a murder?
286
00:15:52,675 --> 00:15:53,711
Is it the wife?
287
00:15:53,745 --> 00:15:54,919
Sylvia!
288
00:15:54,954 --> 00:15:57,370
In my Agatha Christies,
it's always the wife.
289
00:15:57,404 --> 00:15:59,786
Er, well, it looks like natural
causes.
290
00:15:59,820 --> 00:16:01,305
Aw. Poor chap.
291
00:16:01,339 --> 00:16:02,892
Time to join our conga line!
292
00:16:02,927 --> 00:16:04,273
Conga line, Sylvia!
293
00:16:04,308 --> 00:16:06,275
Ooh! I love a conga line.
294
00:16:07,311 --> 00:16:08,553
Sorry about Mr Reeves.
295
00:16:08,588 --> 00:16:10,383
He'd want us to enjoy ourselves.
296
00:16:12,902 --> 00:16:15,250
[Babs through speakers]
Let's make this a day to remember.
297
00:16:15,284 --> 00:16:18,080
The longest conga line
yet!
298
00:16:18,115 --> 00:16:19,357
[music playing]
299
00:16:22,567 --> 00:16:24,673
Did you hear that music blast
last night?
300
00:16:26,951 --> 00:16:28,884
It was ten past midnight, I
checked.
301
00:16:30,782 --> 00:16:32,267
Come and join the conga line.
302
00:16:32,543 --> 00:16:34,338
Come on, you two. No excuses.
303
00:16:34,579 --> 00:16:37,479
Because nothing says
in memoriam like a conga line.
304
00:16:37,513 --> 00:16:38,721
[scoffs]
305
00:16:39,412 --> 00:16:40,827
-Is that an Argus?
-[Daniel] It is.
306
00:16:41,621 --> 00:16:43,795
-Bit old, but, er...
-I use an Argus.
307
00:16:44,589 --> 00:16:46,074
You're a photographer?
308
00:16:46,108 --> 00:16:48,352
Yeah, I've actually just had
some photos accepted for an exhibition.
309
00:16:48,386 --> 00:16:51,010
Really? We'd love to take a
look.
310
00:16:51,286 --> 00:16:54,358
[Babs through speakers]
Calling mr marlowe to the conga line.
311
00:16:54,392 --> 00:16:56,291
[Cathy through speakers]
Daniel Marlowe. Hurry up.
312
00:16:56,325 --> 00:16:57,464
[Daniel] Duty calls.
313
00:16:57,499 --> 00:16:58,741
Another time, perhaps.
314
00:17:02,504 --> 00:17:03,608
Oh, Gorky.
315
00:17:04,540 --> 00:17:05,610
Have you read it?
316
00:17:05,783 --> 00:17:06,922
Half of it.
317
00:17:07,750 --> 00:17:08,751
It's quite...
318
00:17:10,477 --> 00:17:12,548
Impenetrable? Dull?
319
00:17:12,755 --> 00:17:15,172
[chuckles] So unbelievably dull.
320
00:17:16,276 --> 00:17:17,760
I prefer Dostoyevsky.
321
00:17:17,795 --> 00:17:20,280
Ah. "To live without hope...
322
00:17:20,315 --> 00:17:22,144
[both] "...is to cease to live."
323
00:17:22,800 --> 00:17:25,527
[Cathy through speakers]
Calling Leonard Finch to the conga line.
324
00:17:25,561 --> 00:17:28,978
Leonard Finch to the conga
line. Hurry up!
325
00:17:29,013 --> 00:17:30,325
Leonard Finch.
326
00:17:31,222 --> 00:17:32,706
Bryan Stanford.
327
00:17:33,776 --> 00:17:35,778
[music playing over speakers]
328
00:17:41,991 --> 00:17:44,028
So, he's listening to this.
329
00:17:48,136 --> 00:17:50,138
[music playing through record]
330
00:17:51,242 --> 00:17:52,243
He slumps forward...
331
00:17:53,313 --> 00:17:55,315
[distorted music playing over
speakers]
332
00:17:59,043 --> 00:18:01,735
Okay. But then how does he
end up in the ballroom?
333
00:18:15,197 --> 00:18:16,198
Geordie?
334
00:18:26,208 --> 00:18:27,347
[Sunny] Excuse me?
335
00:18:28,314 --> 00:18:29,832
Guests aren't allowed in here.
336
00:18:30,316 --> 00:18:32,318
Sorry, we, er... We didn't
realise.
337
00:18:33,698 --> 00:18:35,355
Ah, would you look at that.
338
00:18:35,390 --> 00:18:36,805
Mmm, fancy.
339
00:18:38,496 --> 00:18:39,532
This safe...
340
00:18:39,808 --> 00:18:41,982
Where does Mr Reeves keep the
key?
341
00:18:42,604 --> 00:18:44,364
-You shouldn't be in here.
-[Will] He's a detective.
342
00:18:44,399 --> 00:18:45,538
He's just doing his job.
343
00:18:45,572 --> 00:18:47,126
And I'm doing mine.
344
00:18:47,160 --> 00:18:48,989
Perhaps you'd like to answer his
question.
345
00:18:49,024 --> 00:18:51,785
[scoffs] Perhaps you'd like
to obey the sign.
346
00:18:55,410 --> 00:18:57,722
[Geordie] Mmm. Mmm-hmm.
347
00:18:57,757 --> 00:18:59,724
[Sunny] Enjoy rifling
through a dead man's belongings.
348
00:19:02,486 --> 00:19:04,108
Does she ever stop smiling?
349
00:19:04,143 --> 00:19:05,144
[door closes]
350
00:19:10,218 --> 00:19:13,082
Sorry, you were probably
just being polite, saying you'd see my work.
351
00:19:13,117 --> 00:19:14,153
Not at all.
352
00:19:14,808 --> 00:19:16,362
Beautiful light.
353
00:19:16,845 --> 00:19:19,882
-Not that I'm an aficionado.
-Huh.
354
00:19:19,917 --> 00:19:24,128
Well, anyone who says
they're an aficionado is lying.
355
00:19:26,372 --> 00:19:28,512
-[Leonard] Firenze.
-Have you been?
356
00:19:28,960 --> 00:19:29,961
No.
357
00:19:30,203 --> 00:19:31,618
Ah! Me either.
358
00:19:32,826 --> 00:19:33,827
I've never been anywhere.
359
00:19:34,311 --> 00:19:35,312
Thank you.
360
00:19:36,623 --> 00:19:38,763
I went to Morocco once.
361
00:19:39,626 --> 00:19:42,284
It was transcendent.
362
00:19:44,252 --> 00:19:46,702
Hard to find transcendence in
this place.
363
00:19:46,909 --> 00:19:48,359
-I can imagine.
-[chuckles]
364
00:19:50,223 --> 00:19:53,640
How is it you can be surrounded
by all these people and still feel so...
365
00:19:54,538 --> 00:19:55,780
Alone?
366
00:19:56,264 --> 00:19:57,955
-Yeah.
-[both chuckle]
367
00:20:08,379 --> 00:20:10,519
[Will] There's hours' worth
of cine film here.
368
00:20:14,558 --> 00:20:16,560
[Geordie] Mmm, Margie gets about
a bit.
369
00:20:18,044 --> 00:20:20,253
Not just the Northerners
lowering the tone then.
370
00:20:20,978 --> 00:20:24,775
[Geordie] She's no ordinary
holiday maker. She was working the camp.
371
00:20:28,019 --> 00:20:30,194
Roy sets his male guests up with
Margie,
372
00:20:30,229 --> 00:20:31,851
-takes these.
-Then what?
373
00:20:32,334 --> 00:20:33,611
He blackmails them.
374
00:20:35,268 --> 00:20:38,340
Not exactly the souvenir snap
you'd want your wife to see, is it?
375
00:20:44,243 --> 00:20:45,623
Well, would you look at that.
376
00:20:46,175 --> 00:20:49,558
Well, that is certainly one way
to meet the light of your life.
377
00:20:49,593 --> 00:20:52,630
-[music playing]
-[Dance instructor] Bodies square, please.
378
00:20:54,356 --> 00:20:55,357
Right.
379
00:20:56,324 --> 00:20:57,394
May I?
380
00:20:58,843 --> 00:21:01,294
All right, got my eye on you.
Keep your hands north of the border.
381
00:21:01,329 --> 00:21:02,537
Sid, please.
382
00:21:02,571 --> 00:21:03,572
[laughs]
383
00:21:11,028 --> 00:21:12,409
[Will] So how long you been
coming here?
384
00:21:13,410 --> 00:21:14,790
I used to work here, so...
385
00:21:15,204 --> 00:21:17,345
Let me guess. You're a dancer.
386
00:21:18,242 --> 00:21:20,589
Dancer, singer.
387
00:21:21,210 --> 00:21:23,454
Entertainment was something back
then.
388
00:21:24,006 --> 00:21:28,356
Local paper used to say I was
destined for the West End. [chuckles]
389
00:21:31,290 --> 00:21:33,050
Is this where you and Sid met?
390
00:21:34,362 --> 00:21:36,260
Place must hold happy memories.
391
00:21:36,674 --> 00:21:39,953
I think you should concentrate
on your footwork, Mr Davenport.
392
00:21:42,128 --> 00:21:44,510
Margie, we've seen the
photographs.
393
00:21:45,994 --> 00:21:47,616
The ones Mr Reeves took.
394
00:21:51,655 --> 00:21:52,794
Excuse me.
395
00:21:57,419 --> 00:21:58,420
Margie?
396
00:21:59,041 --> 00:22:00,319
What did you say to her?
397
00:22:10,018 --> 00:22:12,123
What is it, my love? Come here.
398
00:22:12,158 --> 00:22:14,229
Stop fretting, Sid. Please.
399
00:22:15,195 --> 00:22:16,645
I demand to know what you said
to her.
400
00:22:17,059 --> 00:22:19,890
"Demand?" Oh, don't be so
dramatic.
401
00:22:19,924 --> 00:22:21,029
They know.
402
00:22:21,374 --> 00:22:22,582
About me.
403
00:22:23,203 --> 00:22:25,033
What sodding business is it of
yours?
404
00:22:26,828 --> 00:22:28,588
I thought you were on your
holidays.
405
00:22:29,175 --> 00:22:30,418
So did I, Sid.
406
00:22:31,936 --> 00:22:33,524
So Margie has a past.
407
00:22:34,560 --> 00:22:36,734
...even pretty boy here has a
past.
408
00:22:38,529 --> 00:22:39,806
Was Roy blackmailing you?
409
00:22:42,257 --> 00:22:44,190
How we met is of no importance.
410
00:22:44,224 --> 00:22:45,881
Actually it really is.
411
00:22:49,022 --> 00:22:50,576
I saved her from that bastard.
412
00:22:51,887 --> 00:22:54,821
What matters is Margie's with me
now, and she's happy.
413
00:22:54,856 --> 00:22:56,582
You got nothing to be ashamed
of, my love.
414
00:22:56,616 --> 00:22:58,480
Do you have to make
such a song and dance, Sid?
415
00:22:58,515 --> 00:22:59,792
[crying]
416
00:23:04,175 --> 00:23:05,832
You must've despised him.
417
00:23:06,661 --> 00:23:08,283
Us and anyone who met him.
418
00:23:08,939 --> 00:23:10,009
So why come back?
419
00:23:10,043 --> 00:23:11,217
[Sid] To rub the bastard's nose
in it.
420
00:23:12,287 --> 00:23:15,394
He tried to ruin me. I got the
girl.
421
00:23:16,464 --> 00:23:18,051
I got the happy ever after.
422
00:23:19,259 --> 00:23:20,985
Good riddance to him, I say.
423
00:23:26,991 --> 00:23:29,373
Do you ever feel different
from other people?
424
00:23:29,856 --> 00:23:34,309
I think the more appropriate
question might be do I ever feel remotely
425
00:23:34,620 --> 00:23:35,621
[chuckles]
426
00:23:37,416 --> 00:23:39,970
You know, I... I look around
here and I see all these people
427
00:23:40,004 --> 00:23:42,179
smiling and enjoying themselves.
428
00:23:42,213 --> 00:23:45,493
All this inane bloody nonsense.
429
00:23:45,527 --> 00:23:47,011
They're just having fun.
430
00:23:48,185 --> 00:23:50,946
It is terribly inane though,
isn't it?
431
00:23:51,947 --> 00:23:56,607
I am hosting the Fullest Head of
Hair contest in an hour.
432
00:23:56,642 --> 00:23:58,954
Maybe I should put myself
forward.
433
00:24:04,304 --> 00:24:08,274
Being different isn't so
terribly bad.
434
00:24:08,826 --> 00:24:11,415
Better than being something
you're not.
435
00:24:14,970 --> 00:24:16,455
You'll go there one day,
436
00:24:17,007 --> 00:24:19,872
sell your photographs outside
the Duomo.
437
00:24:20,493 --> 00:24:22,771
Make an absolute fortune.
438
00:24:24,532 --> 00:24:25,498
No.
439
00:24:27,880 --> 00:24:28,881
Sorry.
440
00:24:30,227 --> 00:24:32,816
No, I'm... Sorry. I... I'm
sorry.
441
00:24:52,525 --> 00:24:55,010
[Geordie] Bringing your wife
back to the place she turned tricks.
442
00:24:55,045 --> 00:24:57,012
[Will] To show off to your
blackmailer.
443
00:24:57,047 --> 00:24:58,773
Who says romance is dead?
444
00:24:59,877 --> 00:25:01,361
Who turned tricks?
445
00:25:01,638 --> 00:25:02,949
Who's a blackmailer?
446
00:25:04,641 --> 00:25:05,676
No one.
447
00:25:06,988 --> 00:25:08,645
I've, er, set up the projector
in the main office, Inspector.
448
00:25:08,679 --> 00:25:09,749
[Geordie] Thank you.
449
00:25:10,405 --> 00:25:12,752
It's just a bit of film
I've got to watch, Cathy.
450
00:25:12,787 --> 00:25:14,236
Natural causes, you said.
451
00:25:15,030 --> 00:25:16,618
As natural as they come.
452
00:25:17,654 --> 00:25:19,621
And Detective Wicks will be here
shortly.
453
00:25:19,897 --> 00:25:21,347
Mmm-hmm. Mmm-hmm. Mmm-hmm.
454
00:25:21,381 --> 00:25:24,419
[Cathy] Promise me
there is not a murderer on the loose.
455
00:25:24,453 --> 00:25:25,869
What about the kids?
456
00:25:26,386 --> 00:25:28,147
Wouldn't fancy his chances
against our lot.
457
00:25:29,562 --> 00:25:31,426
We don't know if it's a murder.
458
00:25:33,670 --> 00:25:34,878
Not for sure.
459
00:25:37,087 --> 00:25:39,503
[sighs] Five days, you said.
460
00:25:43,576 --> 00:25:45,751
Do you know what's worse
than enforced fun?
461
00:25:46,648 --> 00:25:48,512
Someone that sulks their way
through it.
462
00:25:50,825 --> 00:25:51,895
Don't be angry.
463
00:25:53,828 --> 00:25:55,070
Why would I be angry?
464
00:25:56,209 --> 00:25:59,212
I was convivial with Bryan.
465
00:26:00,420 --> 00:26:02,975
He got the wrong impression
and...
466
00:26:03,009 --> 00:26:04,010
[barman] Sir?
467
00:26:05,460 --> 00:26:06,461
And?
468
00:26:08,636 --> 00:26:10,085
[softly] He tried to kiss me.
469
00:26:11,017 --> 00:26:14,676
-Bryan? Bryan, Bryan?
-Shh.
470
00:26:15,781 --> 00:26:17,299
Take it as a compliment.
471
00:26:18,231 --> 00:26:20,406
You're a handsome chap.
He's a handsome chap.
472
00:26:25,066 --> 00:26:26,205
[Merries band playing]
473
00:26:26,239 --> 00:26:28,725
[sInging]
I can't, no matter how hard I try
474
00:26:28,759 --> 00:26:31,210
So why don't you join
and face your fears?
475
00:26:31,244 --> 00:26:34,247
Sit still, honey
and I'll check you here
476
00:26:34,282 --> 00:26:36,042
It better hit you, woman
There's no turning back
477
00:26:36,077 --> 00:26:38,286
And it's about to hit you, baby
Like a train on a track...
478
00:26:38,320 --> 00:26:39,528
[Gerry] It's overdose.
479
00:26:40,875 --> 00:26:43,463
There's enough lidocaine
to kill that bloody donkey out there.
480
00:26:43,498 --> 00:26:45,983
You know, I still think there's
a chance it could be natural causes.
481
00:26:48,054 --> 00:26:50,781
I mean, he could've taken it
of his own accord.
482
00:26:52,680 --> 00:26:54,820
When was the last time
you had a murder case?
483
00:26:55,441 --> 00:26:57,270
'36, I believe.
484
00:26:59,514 --> 00:27:00,619
Where were you?
485
00:27:02,655 --> 00:27:03,691
School.
486
00:27:04,588 --> 00:27:07,177
I'll look this over for ya.
How about that, hmm?
487
00:27:08,074 --> 00:27:11,146
I doubt it'll make much
difference, but if you must...
488
00:27:11,181 --> 00:27:12,423
[singing continues]
489
00:27:12,458 --> 00:27:15,392
'Cause there's rhythm in my
body from my head to my feet
490
00:27:15,426 --> 00:27:17,877
I need a small dose
just to keep me sane
491
00:27:17,912 --> 00:27:20,431
While the rock and roll
music flows through my brain
492
00:27:20,466 --> 00:27:24,194
I can't live without it
Now don't you doubt it, baby
493
00:27:24,539 --> 00:27:28,439
Well, you may think I'm
crazy but it's my desire
494
00:27:28,474 --> 00:27:30,752
'Cause I do it just for it
gets me high
495
00:27:30,787 --> 00:27:33,755
You can tell me to quit
but I have to admit...
496
00:27:33,790 --> 00:27:35,274
[imperceptible chatter]
497
00:27:36,206 --> 00:27:39,140
So why don't you join me
and face your fears...
498
00:27:39,899 --> 00:27:41,176
Mrs Reeves...
499
00:27:41,211 --> 00:27:42,453
[Babs] Evening, Miss Grant.
500
00:27:42,488 --> 00:27:43,731
Lovely dress.
501
00:27:44,110 --> 00:27:45,698
[Will] Were you aware
of your husband's dealings?
502
00:27:45,733 --> 00:27:47,251
We having a merry old time?
503
00:27:48,114 --> 00:27:49,702
Did you know
he was blackmailing the guests?
504
00:27:49,737 --> 00:27:51,083
Of course I bloody did.
505
00:27:51,117 --> 00:27:52,325
Yet you didn't stop him?
506
00:27:53,775 --> 00:27:56,605
This place was my father's.
Then I married, and it belonged to Roy.
507
00:27:57,399 --> 00:27:58,607
He ruined it.
508
00:27:59,505 --> 00:28:01,403
That's the way it goes, isn't
it?
509
00:28:01,714 --> 00:28:03,992
What's mine is by husband's,
510
00:28:04,268 --> 00:28:07,789
what's his, he can do
what the heck he likes with.
511
00:28:08,134 --> 00:28:12,898
So, yes, I knew what he was
doing. And, no, I didn't stop him.
512
00:28:12,932 --> 00:28:14,658
Does that answer your question?
513
00:28:18,697 --> 00:28:19,698
Lidocaine.
514
00:28:21,216 --> 00:28:22,217
Injected?
515
00:28:23,978 --> 00:28:25,255
Swelling in the throat.
516
00:28:25,531 --> 00:28:28,776
So he ingested it.
Where, his supper, maybe?
517
00:28:29,259 --> 00:28:31,433
Starting to wish
I hadn't had that hot pot.
518
00:28:31,468 --> 00:28:32,918
He was fine on stage.
519
00:28:33,919 --> 00:28:35,679
It must be someone who knew him.
520
00:28:35,714 --> 00:28:37,681
Excuse me. Would you like to
dance?
521
00:28:37,716 --> 00:28:38,717
Not now. Sorry.
522
00:28:41,271 --> 00:28:43,031
Someone who knew he took
Lidocaine.
523
00:28:47,104 --> 00:28:48,105
What?
524
00:28:50,729 --> 00:28:52,247
You only live once.
525
00:29:00,221 --> 00:29:02,050
I think I was a little rude.
526
00:29:02,085 --> 00:29:03,189
A little?
527
00:29:03,431 --> 00:29:05,053
Inordinately rude.
528
00:29:05,295 --> 00:29:08,470
-Extremely, supremely...
-Extraordinarily?
529
00:29:08,885 --> 00:29:10,438
Extraordinarily rude.
530
00:29:11,025 --> 00:29:12,543
I'd love to dance with you.
531
00:29:16,996 --> 00:29:18,066
[Will sighs]
532
00:29:18,101 --> 00:29:19,447
You coming or not?
533
00:29:43,471 --> 00:29:44,748
Now who's smiling?
534
00:30:03,905 --> 00:30:05,804
[both chuckling]
535
00:30:09,048 --> 00:30:10,291
[Will] So, tell me.
536
00:30:10,843 --> 00:30:13,121
[Sunny] Pamela. My real name's
Pamela.
537
00:30:13,432 --> 00:30:14,709
Pamela's nice. Pamela's...
538
00:30:14,743 --> 00:30:16,331
Middle aged with too many kids.
539
00:30:16,366 --> 00:30:18,368
[chuckles] And a husband she
hates.
540
00:30:19,334 --> 00:30:21,785
Pamela Smith doesn't get
top billing at the Palladium.
541
00:30:22,303 --> 00:30:25,099
Besides, everyone here's
pretending to be someone they're not.
542
00:30:25,996 --> 00:30:27,239
I bet even you are.
543
00:30:27,653 --> 00:30:29,862
Sadly, I am deeply
uncomplicated.
544
00:30:29,897 --> 00:30:34,108
Mmm. No. This face is hiding
all sorts of secrets.
545
00:30:34,522 --> 00:30:36,524
Go on then, try me.
546
00:30:37,249 --> 00:30:38,802
You've got a love child.
547
00:30:38,837 --> 00:30:40,079
Not that I know of.
548
00:30:40,908 --> 00:30:44,083
-Doomed affair with a beautiful
widow. -Ah, if only.
549
00:30:44,497 --> 00:30:45,947
There must be something.
550
00:30:47,880 --> 00:30:50,331
I am my work. My work is me.
551
00:30:50,676 --> 00:30:53,092
-That's as scandalous as it
gets. -[chuckles]
552
00:30:54,853 --> 00:30:56,371
[both chuckle]
553
00:30:57,303 --> 00:30:58,511
[Bryan sighs]
554
00:31:05,484 --> 00:31:06,692
We're closed.
555
00:31:06,726 --> 00:31:10,385
I feel as though
I owe you an explanation.
556
00:31:11,076 --> 00:31:13,250
[inhales] I understand...
557
00:31:14,010 --> 00:31:16,046
That's what I wanted to say.
558
00:31:16,909 --> 00:31:19,636
I know it may not seem like it,
559
00:31:20,154 --> 00:31:23,640
but I understand
what you may be feeling...
560
00:31:24,365 --> 00:31:26,505
And how confusing that can be.
561
00:31:27,333 --> 00:31:30,716
It's confusing, and
it's...terrifying.
562
00:31:32,649 --> 00:31:36,066
And...you feel terribly lonely.
563
00:31:37,999 --> 00:31:40,760
[inhales] I'm sorry if I misled
you.
564
00:31:41,969 --> 00:31:44,937
Please know that was the last
thing I intended.
565
00:32:04,267 --> 00:32:05,509
[inaudible]
566
00:32:08,996 --> 00:32:10,618
[suspenseful music playing]
567
00:32:16,693 --> 00:32:19,661
Do you ever feel like you work
because there's something missing?
568
00:32:19,696 --> 00:32:21,146
That got serious suddenly.
569
00:32:21,456 --> 00:32:22,941
We can do serious, can't we?
570
00:32:24,839 --> 00:32:27,876
I love what I do.
I love making people laugh.
571
00:32:28,084 --> 00:32:30,500
No, I... I love my job, too. I
just...
572
00:32:30,534 --> 00:32:31,673
[inhales, sighs]
573
00:32:31,708 --> 00:32:34,331
Sometimes I feel like
there must be something else.
574
00:32:34,849 --> 00:32:35,884
Like what?
575
00:32:37,438 --> 00:32:38,542
I don't know.
576
00:32:39,647 --> 00:32:40,751
Yes, you do.
577
00:32:46,930 --> 00:32:48,725
You know how this goes, right?
578
00:32:48,759 --> 00:32:50,416
We have a few nice nights,
579
00:32:50,451 --> 00:32:52,901
you go back to your life,
I go back to mine,
580
00:32:53,350 --> 00:32:54,903
and we never see each other
again.
581
00:32:54,938 --> 00:32:57,147
-Mmm. It's a terrible idea.
-Mmm.
582
00:32:57,458 --> 00:32:58,493
Terrible.
583
00:32:58,528 --> 00:33:00,219
Truly, truly awful.
584
00:33:13,301 --> 00:33:15,510
[Geordie] Er, I'm afraid
I'm gonna have to stop you there.
585
00:33:42,779 --> 00:33:44,229
He told me he'd destroy this.
586
00:33:44,505 --> 00:33:47,301
[Geordie] He used you,
like he used Margie.
587
00:33:47,956 --> 00:33:50,338
Not like Margie. I'm not cheap.
588
00:33:50,994 --> 00:33:53,445
You don't like what Roy was
making you do?
589
00:33:55,930 --> 00:33:57,725
Him dying certainly put a stop
to that.
590
00:33:58,484 --> 00:33:59,899
You think I killed him?
591
00:34:00,383 --> 00:34:01,453
Did you?
592
00:34:01,487 --> 00:34:03,903
A hundred times in my head, but
no.
593
00:34:05,112 --> 00:34:06,492
Did you sleep with them?
594
00:34:09,668 --> 00:34:10,738
[scoffs]
595
00:34:12,326 --> 00:34:13,810
Is that all this was to you?
596
00:34:14,397 --> 00:34:16,054
Just a way to blackmail me?
597
00:34:21,197 --> 00:34:23,716
-[door opens and shuts]
-[sighs]
598
00:34:26,478 --> 00:34:29,136
[Daniel] Oh, this is the most
uncomfortable bed I've ever slept in.
599
00:34:29,170 --> 00:34:33,623
It's cheap and it's gaudy, and
I'd quite like Mrs C to boil these sheets.
600
00:34:33,657 --> 00:34:35,970
Hmm. Doesn't seem so bad.
601
00:34:36,004 --> 00:34:37,592
-[knock at door]
-Just a minute.
602
00:34:40,733 --> 00:34:41,976
Might I talk with you?
603
00:34:44,806 --> 00:34:45,807
Bryan.
604
00:34:52,538 --> 00:34:53,539
[door closes]
605
00:35:01,961 --> 00:35:05,103
[Geordie] I never had Sunny down
as a younger version of Margie.
606
00:35:06,069 --> 00:35:07,105
Are you upset?
607
00:35:07,139 --> 00:35:09,521
-No.
-You liar.
608
00:35:11,281 --> 00:35:12,938
You're right about one thing.
609
00:35:13,732 --> 00:35:15,389
You do not have a type.
610
00:35:19,151 --> 00:35:20,635
From a nun to a prostitute...
611
00:35:20,670 --> 00:35:22,775
-Geordie.
-It's almost biblical.
612
00:35:26,262 --> 00:35:28,988
[Will] It's Roy. Well, if he's
in it,
613
00:35:29,644 --> 00:35:30,852
then who took it?
614
00:35:32,337 --> 00:35:33,717
[crowd clapping]
615
00:35:34,546 --> 00:35:36,306
[Sunny] Thank you, contestant
five.
616
00:35:36,341 --> 00:35:37,514
And the scores are?
617
00:35:37,790 --> 00:35:39,723
[Sid] Go on, Margie, get up
there.
618
00:35:40,207 --> 00:35:41,863
I don't want to, Sid.
619
00:35:41,898 --> 00:35:43,175
[crowd clapping]
620
00:35:49,388 --> 00:35:51,390
And our final pair of pins.
621
00:35:52,150 --> 00:35:53,599
[Jack] Go on, Sylvia.
622
00:35:53,634 --> 00:35:56,533
[Sunny] Contestant number six
is housekeeper to Reverend Davenport
623
00:35:56,568 --> 00:35:58,121
and his curate, Mr Finch.
624
00:35:58,915 --> 00:36:01,124
What did God say after creating
man?
625
00:36:01,159 --> 00:36:02,367
"I can do better."
626
00:36:02,401 --> 00:36:04,576
And these legs are living proof.
627
00:36:04,610 --> 00:36:06,681
-[crowd exclaim]
-Bloody hell.
628
00:36:06,716 --> 00:36:08,925
-Higher. Higher!
-[Will] Lower.
629
00:36:08,959 --> 00:36:10,168
[both] Lower!
630
00:36:10,513 --> 00:36:11,928
[Sunny] Thank you, contestant
number six.
631
00:36:12,687 --> 00:36:13,826
And the scores are?
632
00:36:13,861 --> 00:36:16,104
-[Cathy] Well done, Sylvia.
-[crowd clapping]
633
00:36:16,346 --> 00:36:19,142
And the winner is contestant
number six!
634
00:36:19,177 --> 00:36:20,178
Oh!
635
00:36:24,975 --> 00:36:27,495
This might be the happiest day
of my life!
636
00:36:28,082 --> 00:36:30,118
Our wedding apart, of course.
637
00:36:30,533 --> 00:36:33,674
You know, they give it
to the old girls out of sympathy.
638
00:36:35,952 --> 00:36:37,988
Know that from experience,
Margie?
639
00:36:39,818 --> 00:36:41,095
[Daniel] Mrs Chapman.
640
00:36:43,131 --> 00:36:44,512
-[camera clicks]
-Excellent.
641
00:36:46,790 --> 00:36:47,895
[Geordie] A word.
642
00:36:48,482 --> 00:36:49,586
If you don't mind.
643
00:36:51,933 --> 00:36:54,833
Mr Reeves would set up the men
with Sunny.
644
00:36:55,937 --> 00:36:57,180
I'd film them.
645
00:36:57,974 --> 00:36:59,217
In flagrante?
646
00:36:59,665 --> 00:37:01,736
No, Sunny would never go that
far.
647
00:37:02,323 --> 00:37:05,326
She'd dance with them. A kiss,
maybe.
648
00:37:07,570 --> 00:37:09,123
What other footage do you have?
649
00:37:09,779 --> 00:37:11,884
You were filming the night Mr
Reeves died.
650
00:37:12,713 --> 00:37:15,233
Uh, just his comedy routine.
651
00:37:16,199 --> 00:37:17,200
[clears throat]
652
00:37:20,168 --> 00:37:22,481
Comedy, in inverted commas.
653
00:37:22,516 --> 00:37:24,380
[Geordie sighs]
654
00:37:25,139 --> 00:37:26,244
Can I take this?
655
00:37:26,968 --> 00:37:28,038
Absolutely.
656
00:37:30,489 --> 00:37:31,835
You're a clergyman?
657
00:37:32,802 --> 00:37:33,906
That's right.
658
00:37:35,218 --> 00:37:37,703
It's a rather delicate matter.
659
00:37:38,601 --> 00:37:40,637
Anything you say will be in
confidence.
660
00:37:41,742 --> 00:37:42,950
[Will sighs]
661
00:37:44,917 --> 00:37:46,264
Your curate.
662
00:37:47,679 --> 00:37:50,198
I saw him with a man.
663
00:37:51,234 --> 00:37:52,822
They were in bed together.
664
00:37:54,720 --> 00:37:56,101
That can't be the case.
665
00:37:57,689 --> 00:37:59,725
You... You doubting what I saw?
666
00:37:59,760 --> 00:38:01,934
I'm doubting
your reading of the situation.
667
00:38:01,969 --> 00:38:03,695
What other way is there to read
it?
668
00:38:05,006 --> 00:38:06,353
-I'll speak to him.
-I should report it.
669
00:38:06,387 --> 00:38:07,388
I'll speak to him.
670
00:38:10,115 --> 00:38:12,324
Please just... Just leave it
with me.
671
00:38:15,948 --> 00:38:18,468
Action has to be taken, Mr
Davenport.
672
00:38:20,194 --> 00:38:21,782
He has to be dealt with.
673
00:38:26,131 --> 00:38:27,235
[door closes]
674
00:38:37,073 --> 00:38:38,177
[inaudible]
675
00:38:54,539 --> 00:38:56,955
Bugger. Nothing.
676
00:38:58,197 --> 00:38:59,475
Let's watch it again.
677
00:39:00,338 --> 00:39:02,823
No, no, no, you don't.
678
00:39:03,306 --> 00:39:04,997
You're gonna have dinner with
me.
679
00:39:05,032 --> 00:39:07,206
Then we're going to dance
680
00:39:07,241 --> 00:39:11,970
before you walk me out under the
stars to tell me that you love me.
681
00:39:12,004 --> 00:39:13,178
Understood?
682
00:39:14,110 --> 00:39:16,008
That sounds pretty
comprehensive.
683
00:39:16,906 --> 00:39:17,907
Mmm.
684
00:39:26,536 --> 00:39:28,538
-[music playing]
-[indistinct chatter]
685
00:39:39,687 --> 00:39:41,033
He keeps staring.
686
00:39:42,483 --> 00:39:44,312
Have a drink. Stop worrying.
687
00:39:50,767 --> 00:39:51,803
I'm so scared.
688
00:39:51,837 --> 00:39:53,805
[Babs] Go on. You'll be great.
689
00:40:02,158 --> 00:40:04,229
Roy promised he'd make her a
star.
690
00:40:05,161 --> 00:40:07,335
What she had to do wasn't her
choice.
691
00:40:07,370 --> 00:40:09,441
Roy wasn't there
when she made a play for me.
692
00:40:09,855 --> 00:40:11,788
Who said she was making a play?
693
00:40:12,824 --> 00:40:16,137
Did it ever cross your mind
that it was as simple as she liked you?
694
00:40:30,151 --> 00:40:32,499
[sighs] Not now.
I've got butterflies enough.
695
00:40:32,706 --> 00:40:35,916
I'm sorry. You can understand
why I thought what I thought.
696
00:40:35,950 --> 00:40:37,435
That I was cheap?
697
00:40:37,814 --> 00:40:40,610
-That your intentions towards me
were... -Cheap.
698
00:40:41,508 --> 00:40:42,509
I'm not Margie.
699
00:40:42,716 --> 00:40:43,889
I didn't say you were.
700
00:40:43,924 --> 00:40:45,201
I didn't sleep with them.
701
00:40:45,926 --> 00:40:48,342
I'm not hitching my wagon
to the first miserable old sod
702
00:40:48,376 --> 00:40:49,723
who can get me out of here.
703
00:40:50,413 --> 00:40:51,587
I liked you.
704
00:40:53,002 --> 00:40:54,659
"Liked?" Past tense?
705
00:40:56,350 --> 00:40:57,558
[music stops]
706
00:40:57,593 --> 00:40:59,042
[crowd clapping]
707
00:40:59,733 --> 00:41:01,976
The Merries house band.
708
00:41:04,254 --> 00:41:07,568
Now, please give a very warm
welcome
709
00:41:07,603 --> 00:41:12,228
to tonight's act, Miss Pamela
Smith.
710
00:41:12,262 --> 00:41:13,505
[crowd clapping]
711
00:41:14,195 --> 00:41:15,265
We'll see.
712
00:41:21,202 --> 00:41:22,549
Thank you. Thank you.
713
00:41:23,550 --> 00:41:25,828
I've been doing some decorating
recently.
714
00:41:25,862 --> 00:41:29,659
Do you know how many men it
takes to wallpaper a bedroom?
715
00:41:30,418 --> 00:41:32,869
Well, depends on
how thinly you slice them.
716
00:41:32,904 --> 00:41:34,388
[crowd laughing]
717
00:41:37,253 --> 00:41:38,357
[inaudible]
718
00:41:42,430 --> 00:41:44,709
A friend of mine once said
that marriage is a...
719
00:41:44,743 --> 00:41:46,400
-The stout.
-What?
720
00:41:47,574 --> 00:41:49,230
The lidocaine was in his stout.
721
00:41:49,265 --> 00:41:51,716
[Sunny] ...engagement ring,
wedding ring, suffering.
722
00:41:51,750 --> 00:41:53,062
[crowd laughing]
723
00:41:58,032 --> 00:42:00,725
[Geordie] Right. Don't take your
eyes off that glass.
724
00:42:02,347 --> 00:42:03,590
Oh, bugger.
725
00:42:03,624 --> 00:42:04,625
No, no, no. No.
726
00:42:05,315 --> 00:42:07,214
Look how much stout's in his
glass now.
727
00:42:08,387 --> 00:42:09,734
Maybe he got a top-up.
728
00:42:11,183 --> 00:42:13,254
[Geordie] Or someone gave him
that glass.
729
00:42:16,741 --> 00:42:19,709
[Sunny] I sometimes think
wives are like ventriloquists.
730
00:42:19,744 --> 00:42:22,816
They sit there nodding
whilst the dummy does all the talking.
731
00:42:22,850 --> 00:42:23,851
[laughing]
732
00:42:25,025 --> 00:42:27,924
[Sunny] You know what I mean,
ladies. Yak, yak, yak.
733
00:42:28,546 --> 00:42:33,136
[sighs] My grandmother had it
right. She buried three husbands. Three.
734
00:42:33,171 --> 00:42:34,759
Two of them were only napping.
735
00:42:35,483 --> 00:42:37,796
My granny was on to something,
she really was.
736
00:42:37,831 --> 00:42:41,593
She said the quickest way
to a man's heart was through his chest.
737
00:42:42,352 --> 00:42:43,733
She wasn't wrong.
738
00:42:43,768 --> 00:42:46,771
You put the lidocaine in your
own drink and you gave it to Roy.
739
00:42:47,150 --> 00:42:48,496
I don't follow ya.
740
00:42:48,531 --> 00:42:49,670
Outside.
741
00:42:49,705 --> 00:42:52,086
[Sunny] ...which is pretty much
like having a husband.
742
00:42:52,121 --> 00:42:55,193
A dog who growls all morning,
a parrot who swears all day,
743
00:42:55,227 --> 00:42:57,436
and a cat who comes home late at
night.
744
00:42:58,127 --> 00:43:00,439
If your husband
brings you flowers, ladies,
745
00:43:00,474 --> 00:43:03,408
and says it's for no reason,
there's a reason.
746
00:43:03,442 --> 00:43:05,548
There is most definitely a
reason.
747
00:43:05,583 --> 00:43:06,722
[Sunny] I'm not Margie.
748
00:43:06,756 --> 00:43:07,826
[gasps]
749
00:43:09,138 --> 00:43:10,898
I'm not hitching my wagon
to the first miserable old sod
750
00:43:10,933 --> 00:43:12,382
who can get me out of
here.
751
00:43:12,417 --> 00:43:15,593
[Margie] For goodness' sake,
Sid, did you have to make such a show?
752
00:43:15,627 --> 00:43:17,008
Everyone's staring.
753
00:43:31,160 --> 00:43:33,369
Roy set out to ruin you, Sid.
754
00:43:34,025 --> 00:43:36,579
You put enough lidocaine
in that drink to kill him.
755
00:43:37,476 --> 00:43:39,375
-That's right, isn't it?
-No.
756
00:43:41,584 --> 00:43:42,827
No, it isn't right.
757
00:43:44,311 --> 00:43:47,417
It's pretty insensitive to bring
your wife here for your anniversary.
758
00:43:47,728 --> 00:43:50,420
A place where everyone
knew about her past.
759
00:43:51,180 --> 00:43:53,769
Perhaps that was the final
humiliation.
760
00:43:58,221 --> 00:44:00,465
You put the lidocaine in
Sid's pint.
761
00:44:05,159 --> 00:44:15,618
And then Roy accidentally took
the pint intended for your husband.
762
00:44:15,653 --> 00:44:19,277
When Sid fell, you must've
thought it was all going to plan.
763
00:44:19,311 --> 00:44:21,210
But he was drunk, not
poisoned.
764
00:44:21,244 --> 00:44:22,487
Sid!
765
00:44:23,177 --> 00:44:24,834
I... I don't understand.
766
00:44:26,422 --> 00:44:28,217
You took Sid back to your
chalet.
767
00:44:28,251 --> 00:44:31,185
-[Sid snoring]
-He wasn't dying. So you panicked.
768
00:44:31,220 --> 00:44:33,463
And then for some reason,
you went out again.
769
00:44:35,983 --> 00:44:37,640
I still had the vial on me.
770
00:44:38,054 --> 00:44:39,538
I had to get rid of it.
771
00:44:39,573 --> 00:44:41,748
Margie, my love. What are you
saying?
772
00:44:43,577 --> 00:44:45,717
[Will] We know Roy was in his
office because of the music.
773
00:44:45,752 --> 00:44:46,994
[music playing]
774
00:44:48,409 --> 00:44:50,170
And we know he made it outside
because of the mud on his shoes.
775
00:44:50,204 --> 00:44:51,343
[Roy gagging]
776
00:44:57,833 --> 00:45:00,490
You knew Roy practised
his routine after hours.
777
00:45:00,974 --> 00:45:03,148
So you dragged him into the
ballroom.
778
00:45:04,702 --> 00:45:06,496
When I saw him, I knew.
779
00:45:10,811 --> 00:45:12,157
Knew what, Margie?
780
00:45:14,056 --> 00:45:16,265
That I'd killed the wrong man.
781
00:45:18,336 --> 00:45:19,647
You don't mean that.
782
00:45:20,856 --> 00:45:22,478
I... I don't understand. I
don't.
783
00:45:23,444 --> 00:45:26,137
You brought me here to score
points.
784
00:45:26,344 --> 00:45:28,035
How do you think that makes me
feel?
785
00:45:28,795 --> 00:45:31,004
Roy was the one who humiliated
you.
786
00:45:31,038 --> 00:45:33,972
[Margie] You treat me
like some kind of prize.
787
00:45:34,455 --> 00:45:36,388
I feel worthless, Sid.
788
00:45:37,044 --> 00:45:39,426
You were nothing but a whore
when I met you.
789
00:45:40,220 --> 00:45:42,601
And you still make me feel like
one.
790
00:45:43,016 --> 00:45:44,811
[Sid] I saved you from the
bastard.
791
00:45:44,845 --> 00:45:46,226
[Margie] That's not enough.
792
00:45:46,260 --> 00:45:47,814
I gave you everything.
793
00:45:48,228 --> 00:45:49,574
[Margie] Not love, Sid.
794
00:45:50,264 --> 00:45:52,094
You never gave me love.
795
00:45:58,169 --> 00:45:59,170
[sighs]
796
00:46:08,800 --> 00:46:11,147
[Leonard] Even on holiday, we
can't be us.
797
00:46:15,876 --> 00:46:18,499
Bryan would be a damn fool
to take it any further.
798
00:46:19,224 --> 00:46:20,639
It's more than that.
799
00:46:21,848 --> 00:46:23,781
We can never be ourselves.
800
00:46:25,644 --> 00:46:27,612
I long to hold hands.
801
00:46:31,789 --> 00:46:33,894
Imagine if we could hold hands
every day.
802
00:46:34,792 --> 00:46:44,871
It would become very dull very
quickly. We'd just be like the rest of them.
803
00:46:44,905 --> 00:46:46,010
Come here.
804
00:46:48,978 --> 00:46:49,979
[chuckles]
805
00:46:50,738 --> 00:46:51,739
[chuckles]
806
00:46:55,467 --> 00:46:57,849
-Right, now, straight to the
car. -[Ivy] Come on!
807
00:46:57,884 --> 00:47:00,162
Stop running! Ivy! Oh.
808
00:47:02,716 --> 00:47:05,339
[Mrs Chapman] Knew that Margie
had a glint in her eye.
809
00:47:05,374 --> 00:47:08,411
-Oh, that's definitive.
-I was right, though. It was the wife.
810
00:47:08,446 --> 00:47:09,827
[Will] You thought it was Roy's
wife.
811
00:47:09,861 --> 00:47:11,483
You can't just pick any wife.
812
00:47:14,383 --> 00:47:16,074
I hear it's you I've got to
thank.
813
00:47:16,109 --> 00:47:17,489
And with such sincerity.
814
00:47:17,524 --> 00:47:20,147
Oh, I still think there's a
chance it could be natural causes.
815
00:47:20,182 --> 00:47:21,183
But there you go.
816
00:47:21,666 --> 00:47:22,943
She confessed.
817
00:47:22,978 --> 00:47:24,600
...isn't it?
818
00:47:25,497 --> 00:47:29,674
Well, safe travels...sir.
819
00:47:30,399 --> 00:47:33,747
20% off next year. How does that
sound?
820
00:47:34,334 --> 00:47:35,853
Thirty, and you've got a deal.
821
00:47:36,129 --> 00:47:37,268
We're doing this again?
822
00:47:38,096 --> 00:47:40,892
-I think we should make it a
yearly event. -No.
823
00:47:40,927 --> 00:47:42,860
No way. We're never coming back
here.
824
00:47:49,211 --> 00:47:50,591
[Bryan] Er, these are yours.
825
00:47:50,833 --> 00:47:51,903
[Will] Thank you.
826
00:47:57,219 --> 00:47:58,910
I've, er, spoken to Mr Finch.
827
00:47:59,462 --> 00:48:00,532
And?
828
00:48:01,740 --> 00:48:03,846
I'll be taking up the matter
on our return.
829
00:48:05,434 --> 00:48:06,884
I felt it was my duty.
830
00:48:07,677 --> 00:48:09,990
More than that,
I felt it was a moral obligation.
831
00:48:10,818 --> 00:48:12,199
I hope you understand.
832
00:48:12,682 --> 00:48:15,237
I'd appreciate it
if you'd let me handle it from here.
833
00:48:15,651 --> 00:48:16,721
Of course.
834
00:48:21,691 --> 00:48:23,003
What did he want?
835
00:48:23,521 --> 00:48:24,763
Photographs.
836
00:48:24,798 --> 00:48:25,903
That all?
837
00:48:27,214 --> 00:48:28,491
What else would it be?
838
00:48:28,802 --> 00:48:30,804
-Oh.
-Now, I don't know about you,
839
00:48:30,838 --> 00:48:33,048
but I am really looking forward
to getting home.
840
00:48:38,708 --> 00:48:41,677
The thing about this place,
everyone always leaves.
841
00:48:42,574 --> 00:48:43,610
You could leave, too.
842
00:48:43,644 --> 00:48:45,646
I'm going to. End of the season.
843
00:48:46,095 --> 00:48:47,372
You're wrong, by the way.
844
00:48:47,407 --> 00:48:49,409
I seem to be making a habit of
that.
845
00:48:49,650 --> 00:48:51,825
Maybe you work because you love
it.
846
00:48:52,170 --> 00:48:54,103
Not because there's something
missing.
847
00:48:59,522 --> 00:49:02,836
Shame. I think I could've
fallen in love with you.
848
00:49:10,223 --> 00:49:13,812
[Babs on speakers] Welcome to
Merries, where there's never a dull day,
849
00:49:13,847 --> 00:49:16,091
and the sun always
shines.
850
00:49:16,746 --> 00:49:19,887
Forget work,
leave your worries far behind,
851
00:49:19,922 --> 00:49:25,169
and get ready to make
friends and memories you'll never forget.
852
00:49:25,203 --> 00:49:29,759
For those guests who are
leaving us, we wish you bon voyage.
853
00:49:29,794 --> 00:49:32,486
But don't despair, it's not
forever.
854
00:49:33,384 --> 00:49:38,492
Though you may be far
away, no distance can keep us apart.
855
00:49:38,527 --> 00:49:42,013
We'll hold you safe in our
hearts.
856
00:49:42,393 --> 00:49:46,604
And in time, we'll meet
again.
857
00:49:47,018 --> 00:49:48,986
[theme music playing]
858
00:49:49,036 --> 00:49:53,586
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