Original subtitles

- Ooh! - Oh!

All right, this is a stick up.

Stick 'em up!

Hands up, hands up.

Everyone, everyone, all of you.

Now...

Where's the stash?

Uh...

Gooey Chewies.

The Gooey Chewy bars!

Thanks.

How do you do?

Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.

Oh, shh, shh, shh. It's gonna be okay.

It's gonna be okay.

Don't make me use this.

Don't make me laugh.

Funny you should mention that.

Feelin' lucky?

Punk!

Huh?

Ah!

Who's next?

Wherever evil lurks, wherever it may hide,

it is time to unmask it and reveal truth to the world.

It is time to right the world's wrongs

and fight injustice wherever it may lie.

To help the...

Cut!

Cut.

Adding Super Leaf to the shot.

Gotta get the leaf in the shot.

Sweet.

- IQ. - This is not a film

on the supernatural properties of a leaf.

It has no business being in my masterpiece.

Hang in there, captain!

Super leaf comes in for the rescue.

Now evil will rule the world.

Hey!

Hey!

Ah, he took your candy bar.

Cool.

Woo hoo hoo hoo.

Oh, watch the road, will ya?

Watch the road, right.

Hey losers.

Here we go again.

What are you scrubs up to no?

We're making a cool movie

and Bernie plays as Gonzo superhero-

- Stop talking, what are you- - Who's gonna save the world

as we know it, and the bad guys, the bad guys...

Hey, you want to be the bad guys?

- Do I wanna- - Anyway, these bad guys,

they try to destroy everything-

- Hey, hey, hey, hey.

Shut your trap.

- Shutting trap now. - Okay.

Thank you.

Oh hey, a movie with a girl director.

What is this thing? Russell.

A viewfinder.

- Wow. - That's enough.

Yeah?

What are you going to do about it, Super uh...

Wimp.

Yeah.

Super Wimp.

Check it out, man.

I'm Steven spell, um, no it's stall...

Stool.

Spatula.

Gah!

Who am I?

Hang on.

Give it back to her.

And what are you going to do if I don't?

Sick him, Splat! Get him boy!

And cut.

Now that is what I call entertainment.

Oh.

My viewfinder.

Aww, now look what you made me do.

Aww.

Oh, well. That's showbiz.

Oh! Hey, hey, hey!

Little mutt!

You're all lame-os.

Stay away.

We're out of here.

So...

Spielberg.

It's Steven Spielberg.

I should have stopped him.

It's not your fault.

Your eye. What happened to your eye?

Some super hero.

Can't even protect my friends.

Hey, mister! You dropped your...

Mister!

Splat, no.

Splat, no boy.

You know how gassy you get.

Ooh, Gooey Chewy bars.

There's only three left.

Cheers.

To the lame-os.

Yeah.

Lame-os.

- Oh! - Ah!

How many of those did you eat? Geez.

Let me get this straight.

You let the factory ship my special batch

of Gooey Chewies to the wrong addresses?

We got 'em back, sir.

About one box.

One box?

One bar will make a person immune to my laughter generator.

Who's responsible?

Well?

Well, who was driving?

For whom doth the bell toll?

Yell-oh?

It's tolls for thee.

Oh?

He died doing what he loved.

- Wing Nut. - Sir?

We had trackers on each of these boxes, did we not?

Yes we did, sir.

Then find it.

What if someone's already eaten one?

Then find him and bring him here.

- Okay. - But do it quietly,

so we don't attract the attention

of The World Intelligence Team.

- Right. - Oh, and Wing Nut?

Hm?

Do it now!

On my way.

Excitement continues to rise.

Every country around the world will be watching

in eager expectation regarding

this unprecedented event where the queen and the president

and other top world leaders will soon be in Paris,

signing a treaty to once and for all usher in world peace.

The United Kingdom looks upon

this auspicious event with the greatest anticipation.

Nowhere in the history of mankind

has such a possibility...

Presented itself and it is in both honor

and humility that I shall...

So, um, how do you like the meatloaf?

Meatloaf...

I was wondering.

It's not as good as what mom made.

You still miss her?

Yeah, me too.

Hey, I heard a good joke at work today.

What did the sea monsters eat for lunch?

Not tonight, dad.

Come on, you like my jokes.

I mean they're a little corny, but-

- Yeah.

All right. What's up kiddo?

Don't you ever, you know, get tired of being a nobody?

Um...

No, no, I don't mean you.

Look, I know we need the extra money

and I get that schools need custodial engineers.

You mean janitors.

It's okay, we all have value.

Yeah, right.

Like being some jerk's punching bag.

Okay. So that's what this is all about, right?

I tried helping someone and messed up.

Just like always.

Talk about a loser.

Hey, you're not a loser for messing up.

You have one of the biggest hearts of anyone I've ever met.

Right.

You do.

And you...

You got that from your mother.

Come on, I see how you look out for your friends.

The lame-os.

Yeah. I'm real good at that.

Lens Cap and IQ, they're not lame-os, they're...

Okay, they're little weird, but they have value.

We all do.

I know what'll cheer you up.

I have a surprise.

I want you to close your eyes and don't peek.

All right?

And...

Voila.

What is this?

It's your dessert. That is angel food cake.

Bam.

Okay, it's a little, it's a little over cooked.

Okay. You know what?

You made your point.

Why don't you go upstairs, start your homework

and I'll, uh, and I'll bring some ice cream.

Eh, you know, I think I'm good.

I can't burn the ice cream.

Hmm.

Hmm.

Go.

Fish and ships.

What?

What the sea monsters ate, fish and ships.

You know...

Bern?

Everyone has value, son.

God, he doesn't make junk.

Give it back to her.

Give it back to her. Am I speaking clearly?

You talkin' to me?

Boom.

Want another kick? Boom.

You talkin' to me?

There is no one behind me, so you're talking to me

and that is a bad idea.

You go, leave.

You go, leave. I don't wanna see you around her anymore.

Pick up the viewfinder or else this will happen again.

Boom. But a thousand times.

Boom boom boom boom boom boom boom.

Thunder.

Lightening.

Bern, you all right?

Uh...

Yeah. I...

Yeah, I'm fine.

Hey, wrap things up, sport. Time for bed.

Yeah.

You're grounded. You are grounded, mister.

And for a very long time.

Paul.

He left the gate open and we could have lost Splat.

Sometimes I wonder if he even has a brain in that-

- Paul David Dingledorf.

God does not make junk.

I, I never said that.

You didn't have to. That's what he thinks.

- I- - Talk to him, Paul.

Tell him. But I didn't mean

I know, just do it.

Bernie?

Bernie, son?

Can I come in?

Bernie?

And so what am I supposed to do?

Just let him have his way?

I mean a guy's gotta stand up for his rights, you know?

So I'm just gonna continue

to be a wimpy looser and that's it?

I miss you, mom.

Really bad.

Are you sure this place is okay?

This place being all secret and all?

Ooh!

Goodness.

Here you go.

Only the select are given access

to such classified locations.

Rest assured men of great power such as myself...

Can always make exceptions. Oh, oh.

Hello?

Madam Secretary.

Where is everyone?

Um, well, I'm only one at this station, ma'am.

We are in the middle of nowhere.

Which explains why we've traced

the secret warehouse and weapons headquarters

of the notorious. Dr. Chuckles to your district.

Who would expect world peace to be destroyed

from such a no nothing location?

Is someone with you?

Someone with, someone with me?

No, no.

No unauthorized personnel here, ma'am.

I'm all alone.

Agent 001/2 at your service, Madam Secretary.

You were mentioning Dr. Chuckles and world peace.

High level security indicates

that he plans to destroy the upcoming World Peace Conference

tomorrow in Paris.

Well uh, how's that, Madam Secretary?

He has developed a giant laugh generator

that will send the world, starting from top leaders

and working its way down to the common man,

into uncontrollable fits of laughter.

He plans to reduce conference into nothing

but laughing mayhem.

Oh, that's terrible.

And you.

You must shut that machine down at all costs.

I'll get right on it, Madam Secretary.

There is one thing you should know first.

His agents have stolen something called Gooey Chewy bars

from all across your town.

Uh, Gooey Chewy bars.

Why is that important, Madam Secretary?

Our best guess is that he has created

a special batch of bars with a unique ingredient

protecting Chuckles and his workers

from the effects of the laugh generator.

These bars could give you and our agents

protection against that laugh generator,

but Chuckles has retrieved all of the boxes but one,

which our satellites reveal

was thrown into this garbage can by this individual,

one Bernard Dingledorf.

He looks dangerous.

You must bring him in and find out what he knows,

but quietly to not attract Dr. Chuckles.

Now we've sent agents to assist, but time is of the essence.

I will personally attend to it myself, Madam Secretary.

There's no one there to help you?

Agent-

Thank you.

Agent 001/2 at your service, Madam Secretary.

Lord, help us all.

Thank you, ma'am.

Thank you very much.

Bernie, let's go. Time for school.

Hey. Seven o'clock kiddo, rise and shine.

Let's go.

Come on. 20 minutes.

Cereal's on the table. See you at school.

Hm?

Oh.

Oh!

Hm.

Ah!

Oh!

Dad?

Splat? Wake up, boy.

I'm sorry. Will you repeat that?

Shh.

Shh is not on your playlist.

Did you mean Strauss?

Shh.

Playing Strauss now.

Mm.

Shh, shh, shh.

Splat.

Hm.

Hm.

Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah-

Thank you.

Oh, sure.

- Ah! - Ah!

Ooh.

Yes!

Eh?

Ah!

You're gonna need those.

Who are you?

What's going on?

Don't make me use this.

A TV remote?

I don't think some stupid TV remote's gonna-

A motion freezer?

Oh, it does much more than that, my little friend.

We have many other even cooler items packaged in here.

Who are you?

Why am I here?

Your government needs you.

Manly Man Hair Restorers?

Sorry. That was for a friend.

You're a T.W.I.T?

Never heard of it. And you never will.

We're so secret, we don't even exist.

- But you're here. - Where?

- Here. - There's no here here.

- You're not here? - Where?

You're not here, I'm not here,

so you've kidnapped me and taken me

to some place that's not here.

Very good.

Do you have a Gooey Chewy bar?

And now he's hungry.

You picked up a Gooey Chewy bar off the street last night.

Yeah. It fell off the back of a truck and I ate it.

You ate it?

In its entirety?

Oh, this is not good. Actually, it was great.

What's going on?

Meet Dr. Chuckles.

A clown?

Yes, a clown.

A clown who plans to destroy the upcoming

World Peace Conference using

this dastardly war machine here.

Nope, not it. Sorry.

Here.

Nope.

Not it. Here.

No, I thought I shaved that. Ew.

Here.

Ah. The Laugh Generator.

He's going to broadcast its special frequency

to every cell phone in the world

causing each and every citizen to break

into uncontrollable fits of laughter.

What's wrong with laughter?

Depends on the type.

There's laughter that's innocent fun.

Or laughter that's mean and insulting.

Hm.

And he's chosen the mean laughter?

Yes.

And he's found a place to unleash its power

in his diabolical plan to destroy world peace.

Sorry.

Excitement continues to build

as national leaders from around the globe

head for Paris and the World Peace Conference,

where they plan to sign a special treaty

to finally end all wars

and initiate lasting worldwide peace.

All eyes around the world...

But if everybody's laughing

by playing mean jokes on each other...

Welcome to World War III.

And anticipation upon this momentous occasion.

Ah, mm, thank you.

We join the President now as he prepares

to depart from his pre-meeting in Germany.

In preparation for this meeting,

the German chancellor and I have just completed

a long and fruitful discussion.

Where is Wing Nut?

Spit it out.

Cat got your tongue?

Oh, ah!

- Speak man! - He's out searching

for the boy.

He's out searching for the boy.

Sorry, sir.

We can wait no longer.

Our destiny awaits.

Stand by for world domination.

Never in human history has such a grand opportunity...

It's possible the bar you ate came from a batch

especially created to protect Dr. Chuckles

and his goons from the frequency.

To proceed with utmost sobriety, and I dare say...

If that's correct, you may be the only one

in the entire planet who can stop him.

Yeah, right.

Well, I mean even if it's true, how could I stop him?

By infiltrating his headquarters

and destroying the generator.

What's that?

Sensors indicate Dr. Chuckles is preparing

to fire the generator.

As I prepare to leave for this monumentous meeting...

Three, two...

One.

I just wanna say...

What is that?

Tuck in, tuck in.

Tuck in.

- That's terrible. - Mm-hm.

It's um, it's beginning to affect me, too.

But...

How are you going to stop him? What are you going to do?

I mean, you're the only one who can stop the generator.

But I'm just a kid. I can't-

- Hurry.

Save our world.

You've got the wrong guy.

Dad.

I gotta find my dad.

He'll know what to do.

I gotta go to the school and I gotta find my dad.

Agent Dingledorf.

You're our only hope!

Dingledorf.

Come on, come on.

No, no, just kidding.

Okay, okay.

Oh, stop!

No, you, you come over.

Come on, come on, come on.

Come on! Come on, come on, come on.

Whoa!

Okay, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on.

Whoa!

Come on, what is this?

Is this a car? Get out of here.

So this is happening all over the world?

People are playing mean jokes on each other?

And breaking into uncontrollable laughter.

And you're the only one who can stop it?

Yes. That is so awesome.

You wrecked my car.

You were, and I was like no, no, no.

I mean, that's what the guy said, but how can I buy it?

I mean the whole place, it doesn't even exist.

Uh oh.

All because he ate one of those stupid Gooey Chewy bars.

Wait. We ate them, too.

That's right.

Ugh.

Ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew.

Cool. So we can all save the world.

Why am I not encouraged?

No, it'll be great.

I'll have to get my own light saber.

- IQ... - Wear my Tarantula Man PJs.

IQ, I don't think...

And I'll need, uh, my Captain Universe shield.

- IQ. - Then I'll thrust

and aerial and jibber jab!

- IQ. - What?

I'll get better with practice.

Nice kitty.

Oh, oh?

You don't think we can do it?

Save the world?

An uncontrollable laughter

seems to be sweeping the world.

Laughter that is not just for fun,

but that appears to be just plain mean.

Reports indicate that it is...

Hey.

I like what you've done to the place.

And filters its way down.

That said, in the strange...

Save the world?

We can't even make a movie.

What's this?

- Well hello there. - Me?

And welcome to secret agent

backpack orientation 2.4.

Among the various items you'll learn to use

are our slow-mo explosive device.

What?

No way.

Our banana peel launcher.

I love bananas.

Our compulsory dancing disco ball.

Nice.

Yeah.

Our latest and greatest gizmo, the Invisobeam.

Invisobeam?

But I still see him.

Uh, still in development.

Ah, gotcha.

Hm.

And of course our standard issue

video cell phones socks.

Cell phone socks?

This video will self-destruct

in five, four, three, two, one.

Uh one.

Bernard Dingledorf.

This is no movie.

It's the real thing and we could see real heroes!

World leaders continue playing

their mean-spirited prank as they prepare

for the peace conference in Paris.

Oh, oh, oh.

Oh.

Oh.

No one is sure where to turn let alone seek help.

Somewhere out there, there has to be...

Hello?

Agent Dinkledorf.

Hey Bernie! It's for you.

Hello?

Oh. Hello?

Help us, Agent Dinkledorf.

The conference begins in 90 minutes.

I'm not an agent. I'm just, I'm just a kid.

89 minutes!

It's all up to you.

The world as we know it is over.

Unless we really could stop him.

Stop him?

Right.

Stop him.

We just need to have a plan.

Great.

A plan.

Do we have a plan?

Maybe.

Rule number one, know your enemy.

Leonard Sebastian Horkelsnorken.

Dr. Chuckles?

Child prodigy.

Check this out.

At age eight, he invented the big screen TV.

In middle school, the first cell phone.

That was him? I thought it was-

- That's what they want you to think.

The kids always made fun, calling him geek-o-matic.

Voted most likely to wear braces until age 73.

Later he earned 11 degrees at...

I can't tell, is that MIT, Harvard or Yale?

Yes.

18 months later he presented his greatest invention

to the National Academy of Sciences.

Solar power nose picker.

Unfortunately it had a little design flaw.

It slipped into reverse and became-

- A solar powered snot flicker.

Gross.

Yeah.

Making him the laughing stock of the entire world.

So with everyone laughing,

he changed careers to become a clown.

If you can't beat 'em, you join 'em.

At first he was the hit at

the children's birthday parties.

It looks just like Fluffy.

After she got ran over.

I love you, Dr. Chuckles.

Aww.

Oh, oh, oh?

But then when he tried to move up to the big league,

to the circus, no one would take him.

Oh, come on.

Nice kitty.

Nice kitty.

He just wasn't funny enough.

And that's when he finally cracked.

Went insane and vowed revenge,

determined to humiliate the world.

With mean humor.

So how's this all help us?

Maybe if you tried to reason with him.

Remind him what his good type of humor could do.

Got to find him first.

Congratulations.

You've just won a year's supply

of lactose-free, sugar-free,

not to mention taste free...

Ice cream bars.

Are you okay?

No offense, but you look terrible.

Allergies.

May I come in?

Hm.

Mm. Mmmm.

Do you have a cat?

Yeah, what's wrong?

A cat allergy.

I always break out in a real bad case of claw marks.

But maybe you could come outside, to my truck.

Make your selection there.

Okay.

Uh, Bernie?

I'll be right back.

Right this way.

He looks a little pale.

Can't believe that worked.

- Wait, what? - Hm?

Nothing. Needs more sun.

Bernie!

Away we go!

Come on, come on!

Oh, look.

Look at the children.

Would you like some ice cream?

No!

I need to borrow this.

That's mine! Hey!

- I gotta take this. - Hey.

So sorry.

Our parents are gonna be mad!

Come on, IQ!

We have to catch up!

Bernie!

Get your ice cream.

Ugh.

Knock yourself out.

Bernie!

Bernie!

Hey, trouble over here.

Our city's finest.

Help! Help me!

Please, please! He's fine.

Wait up!

We gotta go faster!

Come on, slowpokes.

Get back here!

Where are you taking me?

We're gaining on him!

You go left, I'll close in on the right.

Right!

No, left!

What?

Go left!

Mine or yours?

It's the same thing!

Same thing?

Right here.

Lens Cap!

IQ!

Brace yourselves.

You sure this is gonna work?

Of course not.

Great.

Please don't, please don't.

Ready?

Steady.

If we die, you'll live to regret this!

What?

What?

What?

Oh.

I think, I think...

I think I'll just...

I'm just gonna sit down.

Untie me.

Are you okay?

Yeah.

Yeah, I'm good.

IQ, what are you doing?

It was under the seat.

Come on.

Come on. Go, go, go.

I'm driving. Move over.

You guys, come on.

Nice and easy.

- Where are we going? - GPS.

I know what we are, but where are we going?

GPS.

He was our only clue.

GPS.

- Great. - GPS!

Home. GPS.

I know where home is, I just...

Oh.

His home. Mmhm.

IQ, you're a genius.

All right.

Here we go.

Now what?

Maybe they got a key hidden somewhere?

Or we could try calling a locksmith.

Or that.

Good afternoon, jokesters.

Today's security question is

what's the last thing to go through

a grasshopper's mind when he hits the windshield?

You have 60 seconds.

Um, uh...

The last thing to go through a grasshopper's mind-

- Right, right.

Um.

I know, I know.

I bet this is going to leave a mark?

Really?

Your answer is incorrect.

You now have 41 seconds.

- Uh, uh- - Think of something!

Well, I don't know, I should've bought life insurance?

Oh, that's a lot better.

Incorrect. You have 32 seconds.

Uh...

So you wanna play chicken do you?

Clear the runway,

I'm coming in hot?

Call the society for Prevention

of Cruelty to Insects?

Guys!

You have 12 seconds.

I know, I know, I know!

Butt!

Nine seconds.

- Can't you be any funnier? - Can't you?

Butt.

- But what? - But what?

The last thing that goes through

a grasshopper's mind after hitting

the windshield is his butt.

Like your tushy.

That's correct.

What a crack up.

Please, enter.

And don't forget to wipe your feet.

I said don't forget

to wipe your feet. Oh!

Thank you.

Okay?

I need to find that generator.

Which door?

Not that one.

What'd you find, boy?

Honestly, that is so fake-

Sorry!

Guys, I found something.

Whoa.

Welcome to the coaster experience.

What did you do?

Cool!

Please keep your hands and arms

inside the vehicle at all times.

A roller coaster.

IQ, don't.

Come on!

Come on, Splat, let's go.

This'll be awesome.

Coaster departing in five,

four,

three,

two,

one.

What the?

I told you, keep your hands and arms

inside the vehicle at all times.

Splat, you okay, buddy?

Come on, Splat.

Warning, warning, warning.

There are numerous humans.

There are numerous humans.

Hello?

Hello?

Hello?

Anyone there?

Look out!

Road hog!

Bernie?

Use your signal!

What are you doing?

Checking.

Hurry.

Let's get 'em!

Cool!

Guys, we gotta go, we gotta go!

Come on!

Wrong way to Dr. Chuckles.

Why would I lie?

Aw, nice kitty kitty ki-

- Come on!

What is this place?

Well, hi there.

Dr. Chuckles.

Present.

Where are you?

Where are we?

In a very special room.

You'll find out soon enough.

I must say I was very impressed with you

getting through my living defenses and finding me.

Thanks. It wasn't that big of a-

- I could really use you on my team.

- Team? - You know, to help

with the little details, like, you know, ruling the world.

We would never work for you.

Is there any pay?

There's nothing wrong with laughter.

Not if you're laughing with someone.

But if you're laughing at them, that's just plain-

- Mean?

Right.

And my dad said that we should honor and respect people-

- Blah blah blah blah.

Yes, your poor father, oh, oh.

Speaking of which, let's check in on him, shall we?

And by the way your entire school is under my powers.

The teachers have all gone crazy.

You free my dad, you jerk!

Excellent.

What was that?

You tell me.

I'm not sure what makes you such a creep,

but it really seems to be working.

What's going on?

Now who's being mean?

Your meanness is creating your own special prison.

What?

Your rudeness is no different from my own comic genius.

You're not a comic genius.

You're a comic goofus.

Um guys...

If laughter was the best medicine,

your face would cure the world.

Welcome to my insult room.

You can cry all you want.

There's no escaping...

Until, of course, you choose to join me.

Look at me, Doc.

Beat up, depressed, under appreciated by Chuckles.

I just feel like my life isn't going anywhere.

What should I do?

Oh.

What's bothering me?

It's the boss.

Oh sure. He, he acts bad, but on the inside?

I worry he's too good to be bad.

What do you think?

Do you really think he's evil enough

to take over the whole world?

Exactly.

Do you know he once tried to use his humor for good?

Mm-hm.

And that cat he's always doting on?

Anyone who loves animals can't be all bad.

Perhaps...

We need a new leader.

Someone more focused on being bad.

Someone intelligent.

Good-looking.

A real clown among clowns.

Now, who might that be?

Who could that be?

Me!

It's me, you clown!

Yes.

Oh, I'm so glad you agree.

Well I really feel a lot better, Doc.

Thank you so much.

Oh.

Excuse me.

Wing Nut?

Get back and guard the insult room.

Now!

Keep an eye on them.

Yes, sir.

What have we done?

We're no better than he is.

Just not as ugly.

- IQ! - IQ!

Guess we won't be needing this anymore.

Your feet are ringing.

Hello?

It's for you.

Let me put it on sneaker phone.

Secret Agent Dingledorf.

I told you, I'm not a...

The leaders have arrived in Paris.

Woo-woo.

The conference begins within the hour.

I told you from the start, you've got the wrong person.

Oh, and your dad called.

He wanted me to give you a message.

Something about...

Junk.

Like we're ever gonna break out of here.

And what are you gonna do...

If I don't?

Don't you ever get tired of being a nobody?

Everyone has value, son.

God, he doesn't make junk.

Dad.

Junk.

Junk.

God doesn't make junk.

You're getting pretty good with all that stuff.

Did you see that?

Yeah.

Hey, IQ.

You know, you're one smart guy.

And you're a great judge of character.

Hey Lens Cap, did I ever tell you

what a great filmmaker you are?

Stop that.

No, but I trust your opinion of me

since you're so smart and highly informed.

Highly informed?

I know what you're doing.

Sure.

He's intelligent...

And a great friend.

Stop that!

Thanks.

You're a good friend, too.

We're all good friends.

And we're smart, too.

Come on, let's go.

Clown code red.

Clown code red.

Hurry, they're gaining.

I'm trying!

The backpack, anything else you got in there?

Uh, laser nail Clippers, rocket powered shoe laces.

Ooh, x-ray glasses.

Come on, any time.

I love bananas.

Come on.

You guys, come on. Come on!

I thought it'd be a little more roomy.

Breath mints?

Anyone?

No thanks.

What?

Guys, ideas?

Anyone?

You said I was a great filmmaker.

Right?

- Yeah. - Yeah.

Play along with me here.

Cut!

Cut!

Cut!

Congratulations. You've all passed the audition.

What?

For the new reality show.

They didn't tell you?

Ugh.

Figures.

Clowns Gone Wild on Nerdflix this fall.

You're all gonna be stars.

Love that look, sweetheart.

Don't change a thing.

Okay everybody, gather in for a group photo.

Come on, let's go.

The camera loves you, kid. Uh-huh.

Yeah, keep it goin'.

Yep, come on, there we go.

Nice and close. Okay.

All set?

And action.

Come on!

Aww.

- Go, go, go. - IQ!

The backpack.

Make it melt!

Right.

Hurry.

That'll work.

Come on!

Whoa.

How do we shut it down?

It's a bunch of those giggle guns

wired and parallel.

Making one giant super charged one.

If we can disconnect enough of them,

I bet we can disable it and...

Chuckles.

IQ! I'm on it.

Hurry!

IQ, come on. He's trying to get ahead.

Coming through!

Bernie, go!

Where'd they go?

IQ.

Can they see me?

Eh?

IQ, come on, I'm ahead of ya.

He's right behind you! Look out!

IQ!

A little help here.

Nice job, IQ.

Hey! Get down from there.

IQ!

Help!

Bernie, catch!

You're too late, Dingledork.

No.

They'll never sign the treaty now

and there's nothing you can do about it.

Really?

Wait. What are you doing?

You don't know what that can do.

I have a pretty good idea.

No, wait.

Listen, let's...

Let's talk.

I think a good laugh would be better, don't you?

Wait, wait, please.

No, no, listen.

I hate laughter.

I even tried to be funny once, at the circus.

We saw the pictures.

People made fun of me,

told me I was worthless.

No.

Nobody's worthless.

It was terrible.

It was humiliating.

I was good for nothing.

No.

God doesn't make junk.

Maybe you were just trying at the wrong place.

Hm.

Yeah, dingleberry.

Well I'm in the right place now.

No, please, please.

The world needs your ge-

Is this how you want the world to remember you?

They must suffer they way they made me suffer.

What are you doing?

What is that?

What are you doing?

Hey.

Let's see if we can make a big one.

Whoa!

Look what you could do.

Look what you could do.

No, they're just kids.

Look at their joy.

Look at the happiness you brought.

This is who you are.

I love you, Dr. Chuckles.

I love you too, Princess.

Uh oh.

This thing...

That makes it look like so

and make it look just like this right here

and all of a sudden then we have

a Dr. Chuckles clown pizza.

Yeah. Don't listen to him, boss.

It's a trick.

It's a trick.

He will humiliate you like all the others.

You've got a gift.

- I was a loser. - Look.

Boss.

Go.

Now!

Maybe it's the batteries.

Uh oh.

Everyone laughed at me.

No.

The children were laughing with you.

You should make a generator that does that.

People laughing with each other

instead of at each other.

You could save the world.

That little brat.

Is he under there? I don't see him.

Yes, yes, yes.

Yes.

Warning, maximum laughter overdrive engaged.

Oh?

Oh! That thing's gonna blow!

Go!

Clownin' around!

Oh no!

We've got to get out of here!

No!

- Wait. - Huh?

I thought it was done.

Shut it down.

I can't, I can't..

Shut it down.

I can't stop. I can't.

Shut it down!

I can't!

Give it to me!

Huh?

I had sense of humor for a moment.

Huh?

You did it, boy.

Good boy, good boy, you did it.

Good boy, you saved us all.

Good boy.

Nice to meet you.

Thank you.

Other side, here.

Wow.

I had no idea.

Imagine what could happen if you used it for good.

No.

But-

- Juggleheads, take away these children

and let's begin our repairs.

It's never too late to end human civilization as we know it

and to begin domin-

- How does a farmer count cows?

Wait, what?

How does a farmer count cows?

With a cow-culator.

Or uh, how about this one,

what do ghosts have for dessert?

I-scream!

And...

Oh, this is a great one.

What do you sea monsters have for lunch?

I don't know, Bernie. What do sea monsters eat?

Fish and ships.

I-scream, I get it now.

See?

See how good people feel with the right type of laughter?

With your genius and the right kind of humor, you could...

I could change the world.

For the good.

- What? - I ain't got one.

No, I got no phone.

Hello?

They've got the pace surrounded.

They want you to give yourself up.

It could be a new beginning for all of us.

Don't listen to him.

He's been tricked.

Follow me.

I will be your new leader.

I will...

Together, we will finish the revolution.

Together, we will-

Ah, ah, get him off!

My fellow jokesters,

a new day is dawning, a day where we no longer

need to hide our true identity,

a day where we can make the world a better place

by being who we were created to be.

Oh, god, that's my nose.

All right, come on, keep goin'.

Move it. Move it along.

See you later, Bernie.

Be sure to write.

Well done, Agent Dingledorf.

I told you I'm not an agent.

Exactly, which is why you're such a great secret.

You and your team.

Team?

For you.

And for you, Lens Cap. Pretending to be an artist.

Pretending?

And you, Splat, are disguised as

the poster dog for Overeater's Anonymous.

Who's a good agent?

And last but not least, for you, IQ,

the brains behind the whole operation.

Cool clouds.

All of you pretending to be boring, everyday people.

Which we are.

Exactly.

The victim has multiple hats stretches to the face.

Yes, the clown.

Seriously, the clown.

Allergies.

Hordikins!

My hero. My muffin.

I wanted to let you know that one of those nice men

in those nice suits asked me to give you this.

Oh.

The president wants to give me a medal.

A medal?

For?

For planning this whole operation, silly.

He's just the smartest secret agent now, isn't he?

Well, duty calls.

Yep. Um, we're

- Nope. - I, uh...

Yeah.

Bern.

Dad!

Hey, are you all right? Is everything okay?

Yeah. Yeah, you?

I couldn't be better.

So guess what?

The Secretary liked your idea.

Idea?

Yeah, about Chuckles using his gift

to make the world a better place.

And if he does so, he might only get probation.

Boom.

Let's go see the kids.

Hey, come on, Splat.

Let's go.

The world can rest assured that I have saved the day

and as usual the agency that I work for

does not respect my abilities and I should be promoted

but they won't do it because of politics...

Come on.

Stupid English.

Pick it up.

I'll break you.

Boom, boom, boom.

You talkin' to me?

See these right here?

You talkin' to me?

What are you doing here?

Uh, I uh, I always take the shortcut.

What are you doing?

Working on a stupid paper for stupid English.

Doesn't sound so bad.

Well not for you.

You're smart.

I get another F, my dad's gonna kill me.

I'm such a loser.

Well, maybe I could, you know, help you out.

What?

Well like you said, this stuff comes easy for me.

What's it on?

Um, heroes.

- Heroes? - Yeah.

Like those guys that saved the World Peace Conference thing.

Uh, yeah. I could give you some pointers.

You know, it doesn't have to be hot shots.

It can be a normal, everyday people, too.

Right.

Yeah.

Even um, know-nothing twerps that help

other guys out with schoolwork and stuff.

Thanks.

But never mention it.

- Right. - To no one.

Okay.

Ever.

Got it.

No.

Nope. I'm not doing it anymore.

I'm done.

Hello?

Oh.

Hello?

Agent Dingledorf, hurry.

Get in the car.

What car? I don't see a car.

Oh.

Sorry.

Hang on, hang on.

Whoa.

Get back, back, back, back, back, back.

Get back.

And forward.

Okay, here we go.

And, nope.

There we go.

No.

Yeah. There we go.

Hold on, hold on.

Just, and...

Okay, stand still.

No, no me. You stand...

Okay.

There we go.

Hurry Agent Dingledorf.

- Shh! - Oh, sorry.

Hurry.

Who's driving?

Not me.

Agent 001/2, is that you?

Yes, it isn't me.

You mean no it isn't you?

I mean, yes, it's no that it's not yes.

Who am I talking to?

Nobody.

So I'm talking to nobody who isn't driving?

You're getting very good

at this secret agent thing.

Says who?

Not me.

Agent Dingledorf, your country desperately needs you.

I have school, a spelling test.

If we don't hurry,

there'll be no words left to spell.

Well?

All right.

But seriously, this has to be the very last-

Time!

Wherever evil lurks, wherever it may hide,

it is time to unmask it and reveal truth to the world.

It's time to right the world's wrongs

and fight injustice wherever it may lie.

To help the downtrodden and depressed,

using all our abilities to make the world a better place.

Of honor and respect for all.

Cut, cut!

Cut!

Let's dance.

Come on, everybody. Let's celebrate.

Nice. Let's do it.

? My milkshake boys are coming to the yard ?

Stop being funny, this is serious.

Ah!

Ah!

My hiccups are gone.

Brace for it.

That was the thing.

Didn't work.

Cut.

Lead camera only, marker.

I feel accomplished.

All right, let's try and get this perfect.

We're making this super cool movie

and Bernie plays a Bonzo superhero and we're...

Sorry, can I go from the top.

I don't know what I did there.

Adam, if you could just do the shot.

Hurry!

It's possible the bar you ate

was especially crafted to get the dialogue wrong.

It's a bunch of those Google guns.

Sorry.

Did I say Google guns?

Just remember I'm the actor and you follow me.

- I follow no one. - You follow no one.

Actually, that's a good answer.

It's bunch of those Google guns wired and parallel.

Making one super...

Making one giant, supercharged one.

Yeah.

You said Google gun again.

I did?

Sensors are indicating that Dr. Chuckles

is preparing to destroy the gener-

Not destroy it, to fire it.

I feel like we've done this dialogue before.

Yeah. Deja vu.

It's a bunch of those Goog-

Now I think about it.

A clown who plans to destroy

the World Peace Conference using this

diabolical military dialogue written for me

which I don't remember!

Hey, mister.

Mister.

Cut.

- Yeah, you're- - Oh.

Hey mister!

Mister! You dropped your...

To reach every cell phone in the world

so each and every citizen-

Farts!

You wanna go back a little bit?

Yeah, that was good.

Let's go back to the, uh, top.

The secret warehouse and weapons headquarters

of the notorious-

Sorry. One more time.

The secret warehouse and weapons...

Headquarters.

I don't know why I can't remember that.

Okay.

Sorry, can I start over again?

Ah, sorry.

Yeah, sorry about that.

Sebastian Horkelsnorken.

Can we go again?

Hey, is your nose okay? You like punched it.

I'm sorry.

I'll grab it from the side.

I slipped.

Are you okay?

Oh gosh.

Sorry.

I accidentally, I tapped him...

Z marker.

Um, I think it's his uh, initials, so it's weird.

Wait, what?

See?

- Ber- - I'm dumb.

- Nie. - Yeah.

This is the best your career will ever be

right here in this moment.

Look at me.

You're probably gonna be the biggest star in the world

and you're gonna remind me I said that.

- Yeah, I will. - Oh, I already hate you.

I'm gonna go back, I'm gonna find your address

and I'm gonna say remember when you said this?

Remember when-

Find my address?

That's already the creepiest thing you've said today.

A solar powered snot flicker.

That's funny.

A solar powered snot flicker.

That's weird.

Ooh.

X-ray glasses.

Can we do it again?

Rocket powered shoe laces.

Ooh.

X-ray glasses.

Why are they, like, so weird?

They're, oh, I felt the wrong one.

Really? Another mission?

Cool.

Yeah, dingleberry, I'm in the right...

Sorry about that.

We're rolling. Still rolling.

Still rolling!

You okay?

Got something in your eye? Nope.

Just bad acting.

- Muffin. - My hero.

- I stepped on your line. - Yeah.

Oh.

My hero, rolling.

I was just, I was ripping.

He's just the smartest secret agent now, isn't he?

Oh.

Where are we going from?

Are we good to keep going?

Cut!

Cut!

Cut!

Cut, cut, cut!

It's a wrap!

They'll be showing this movie

in film schools, you know that, right?