Original subtitles

-Let's crash a funeral.

-Will you just please, please, please, please, please, stop?

Just, what if we get caught?

-We don't know these people.

And I have to say goodbye!

[Sobs dramatically]

-Get up, get up.

-Oh!

Oh, my God. [Continues sobbing dramatically]

-Stop it.

Marie!

Marie. Aw.

Oh, look at her here.

Come on.

-Hi. -Hi.

-Hi, I'm Anna.

I'm, uh, Marie's niece.

-Oh, I'm Kushla. I, um...

I bought Marie's blender on Trade Me,

and when I went to pick it up, we just hit it off.

We did a weekly coffee thing.

Marie and her bowler tees, remember?

Anyway, she probably never mentioned me.

-No, no. I think she did.

-Yeah? -Mm.

-This is my sister, Audrey.

She's deaf.

-Oh. Thank you so much for coming.

-Okay, thank you.

See you at the evening. -Oh.

[ "Sylvia-Pizzicato"playing]

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

-That was amazing. Such a beautiful service.

-It was sad. -I know!

And all the music came in at just the right moments.

-And it was way less fun

that what I thought it was gonna be.

Let's go. -No, I've got questions.

-Audrey's deaf, and you can't sign for shit.

-Well, then, you'll have to ask them.

I've taken notes.

-Christ. [Sighs]

-Looks yummy.

-Ha-ha! These are so Marie, eh?

Color printing -- that normal around here?

Is -- they're always color?

[Laughs] That's a good one.

Hey, Gav, do you know, um...

Do you know how many funerals these guys do a day?

Is it many?

Do a night show?

I guess part of the appeal is getting time off work, right?

Do you guys know how much Theresa and Martin

paid for the coffin?

Pretty pricey.

You ever seen a dead body?

-Ah! Wow. They even have macarons.

-There's that hot pallbearer. I bet you I can get his number.

-Ellie. Oh, my goodness.

-[Mouth full] Hello!

Hey, Michelle.

[Normal voice] I haven't seen you since...

You little cunt.

-Aah!

Oh! Ah.

-I didn't know you knew Marie.

-She's my fiancé's auntie's sister.

-Oh, you got engaged?

-Yes, to Hamish.

It's a blessing and a curse.

Magpies.

You know, all the school staff are really worried about you,

and the kids -- they're still talking about

Miss Gert getting fired, but I told them,

you just never know what's going on with someone,

you know, up here, so...

-Oh, no, no. I'm so great.

I'm actually running my own business now, so...

-Good for you! -Yeah.

-Kia kaha.

Still, you must be devastated that you can never teach again.

-Oh, no. I've still got my license,

and I'm gonna appeal it.

-Oh.

Why would you put yourself through that?

Well, I guess it must be impossible

to get a job anywhere else.

Word's really got around.

Maybe it is the best option for you.

It's just so embarrassing. [Chuckles]

-Michelle.

I'm so glad you could make it.

-Sorry for your loss.

-Ah, so you met Audrey. -Ellie.

We taught together, didn't we?

Are you okay?

I didn't know you knew sign, Ellie.

-She doesn't. -What's going on?

-Audrey, there you are.

-Faking being deaf? Nice.

-Ah! What?

No way.

Oh, that is terrible.

All these years.

No idea. Let's get you home, Audrey,

if that's even your real name.

[Scoffs]

-Unbelievable.

♪♪

-You're late again.

-Can I be part-time like Beau and Sharyn?

But, like, work from home?

-No.

-I really hate this uniform, eh?

You look like a bank teller,

and your hair looks like a pretzel,

and my tights are loose.

But I don't understand because they're tights,

and what is this thing?

What's this?

Are you okay?

-I'm fine. -Really?

'Cause you just -- you look a little miffy.

-There's a lot riding on this. I just want it to go well,

so I got here at 5:00 this morning.

-Again?

So everything's sorted, then.

-Yeah, the flowers look good.

Sharyn wanted to do chicken nibbles.

I said okay.

Dean's rehearsing his choreography,

and Beau is waxing the hearse,

and the uniforms look fine.

-Really?

Do you want the Cookie Time cookie or the cassava chips?

-Um...

Who the frick is that?

-Hey, there you are.

I thought I told you to stay in the hearse, man.

-Aw, you're a dad. That's cool.

-Oh, yeah. I just have Frankie on Tuesdays and Thursdays, eh?

-Those are work days.

-I'm just checking -- is Mr. Lovett ready?

-Uh, give me two minutes. -Okay.

Two minutes. All right.

Come on, then. Oh!

-Might be five.

I've never done this.

Just put the clothes on the body.

It's like playing Barbie.

Think of him as Ken,

except old and dead.

-So, then, top half. -It's fine.

-It's pretty stiff.

-Down, gentle, yes, respectful. -Oh!

-Oh. Aw! -Christ!

-It's not so smooth like that. That's fine.

-Yep, yep, yep, and, and --

so you have to help me, Gwen. -I'm doing it!

-Arm down -- gentle, gentle.

-I don't --I don't really want to do that part.

The pants is you, baby.

-Okay, his family are here, so can you just help?

-Yep, and this is -- this is your zone.

I don't want to see that. I do notwant to see that.

I don't want to give him a wedgie.

-Shuffle. Pull them up.

-I'm doing it!

Jesus mother...

This is a skill I don't utilize enough,

maybe because I'm not Avril Lavigne.

-Can you please pass me the shoes?

♪♪

Please.

-Um, Ellie? -Hmm?

-Dean wants to have a word.

-Ah. Ah.

Okay. Okay.

-I have no idea what I'm doing.

♪♪

♪♪

-He looks pretty good. -Yeah.

[Gags softly]

I swallowed it.

-Right. [Chuckles]

-[Speaks indistinctly]

-Ah, here she is. Take a seat.

-Oh, I'm fine.

-Oh, you should really take a seat.

-Honestly, I'm -- I'm happy standing.

-Oh, but you look so exhausted.

-I'm not. I'm -- -Geez, and you're breaking out.

Wow! Look at that. -What did you want, exactly?

-Wow. Well, me and Shares have been talking,

and it makes sense that you want to sell.

I mean, it's an impulsive decision,

but it's such a hard job, and you're so inexperienced.

So we were thinking, there's no need to rush into anything.

I mean, you could just hold onto the business and step back

and just let me manage things.

Isn't that right, Shares?

-Hmm. Ah. That's sweet chili.

-Oh, uh, thanks for looking out for me, Dean.

That is food for thought.

-Did you want me to steam this jacket?

It's pretty late now, though.

-These look good, Shares.

-Oh, thank you. -Yeah.

-It says 180, but I always do it 200.

-Mm-hmm. -Unless the kids are playing up.

Then I undercook them -- bit of a reality check.

-Mm. Yeah. Mm-kay. You're all under control, then?

-Oh, yeah, love. I'll keep the sweet treats

in the fridge till after the service.

I did mini donuts.

It's a hole-in-one reference. -Oh.

Ssssschnitzel, uh, I forgot the clubs.

Uh, uh, yep, yep, yep, yep.

I am so sorry.

I completely forgot.

The family want him buried with his clubs.

I'll just go stall them. Thank you. Sorry.

-Uh...

Okay.

-Do you think they want all of them or just his favorite?

-Oh, yeah, his favorites --

the "P" and the black sock and the chipper.

How do I know his favorites?

We'll just put them all in. Oh, God.

-Um...

[Mumbling]

Put one in his hand.

-Okay.

Ooh, oh.

Okay.

I feel like they're not all gonna...fit.

Yeah, pack them in.

Do some that way, maybe.

♪♪

[Man and woman singing in foreign language]

[Cellphone vibrating]

[Singing continues]

♪♪

-Miss you.

[Singing continues]

♪♪

♪♪

[Sighs]

♪♪

-This was supposed to be open casket -- the funeral.

-I need to, uh -- uh, you're looking for Gwen.

Yeah, she will know.

Excuse me. -Okay.

-Where's Ellie?

It was supposed to be open-casket.

-Really? -Yeah.

-Um, uh, okay.

Okay.

-And where are his golf clubs?

He was meant to be with them.

-Yeah, they're in there...

all of them.

Louise, is there a problem?

-I wanted them on the stage and then in the hole,

not up his fucking ass.

-You're the one with something up your fucking ass.

-I'm so sorry.

There seems to have been a miscommunication,

but we will take care of it, won't we, Gwen?

-Yes. -Good.

[People murmuring indistinctly]

-Oh, uh, sorry.

-Leave that one.

Dad would have liked it.

-Ah! Sorry.

[Clubs clanging and clattering]

[People murmuring indistinctly]

No, they went that way. -All right.

-Yep.

They have, like, little holes in there.

[Golf bag thuds]

[Clattering continues]

They go under the -- the...

Oh, you do it.

[Zipper zipping]

Cool. No, you do that.

I'll get the...

[ "How Great Thou Art" playing]

♪♪

[People talking indistinctly]

♪♪

♪♪

-Come eat some food.

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

-Nice to see you.

[Smooches] Thank you.

-Sorry again about the mix-up,

but I thought you might want to take these.

They didn't quite make it into the bag.

♪♪

♪♪

-Thank you.

-Of course.

-It was perfect.

-Oh, good.

-Better get these in the car.

[Both chuckle] -Yeah.

♪♪

♪♪

[People talking indistinctly]

♪♪

♪♪

Um, are you drinking?

-Phil loved pale ale.

-Yeah, you didn't really know Phil.

-Not alive, which is pretty messed up.

I don't want to be around dead people all day.

It's just depressing.

Phil's sad, saggy face was in my nightmare,

but he was a snake.

How are you doing this?

Doesn't it make you feel like shit?

-Um, it's not really about how I feel.

I, of course -- you know, I care,

but you kind of have to put your feelings aside.

-For the money. -For the family.

-Mm. Oh, well. I guess we're just gonna

have to stick it out for a few more weeks.

-Yeah, might be longer.

-Well, how much longer?

-You know, it might be months, and that's fine.

-No, that's not fine.

-I mean, I'm just saying, you don't need to be in a rush.

-No, that's exactly what I'm saying.

I know you've got nothing better to do, but I'm going to Bali.

-I'm not sure I want to sell.

-What?!

Ellie, what -- what are you saying?

Just because you got fired

doesn't mean you get to mess with my plans.

-Maybe Koro left it to us for a reason.

-That's bullshit. Koro was a numpty

who didn't get good legal advice.

I'm very grateful for the gift,

but I would rather take the money.

-Gwen.

Gwen, I don't -- I don't know if I could ever teach again.

This is all I've got,

and don't you want some stability?

Full-time work could be really good for you.

-Fuck off. I love my life.

-Please.

I need this,

and it could be really good for us.

We're helping people.

I actually need to talk to you about --

-I don't care, Ellie.

We'll just do whatever you want to do, like always.

I was gonna text that pallbearer,

but it already feels like I'm getting fucked.

[Door squeaks]

-Supporting local content so you can see more

of New Zealand On Air.

♪♪

Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0