All language subtitles for Bodyslam.Revenge.Of.The.Banana.2015.720p.WEBRip.x264.AAC-[YTS.MX]

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[crowd cheering]

[music playing]

Ah, yeah, my mom was, uh,
17 when--when I was born.

This is my room
for most of my life,

and I sat in here and--
and watched TV

and hid from
the people doing drugs.

ANNOUNCER:
High vertical's away.

Showtime! Whoo!

I wasn't exactly
the most expected child.

Mom got a little drunk,
little high,

and--and Dad got lucky,
and out came me.

And he's going down!

History
has been made here!

Mom abused prescription meds
for several years.

She used coke for most of
my, uh, high school years.

Heavyweight champion...

Oh, yeah!

Crappy home life
pretty much made me

fall asleep in class a lot.

When your mom's, you know,

waking up
at 3:00 in the morning,

ready to shoot the leaves
with a .357, you know,

you don't tend to, uh,
get a good night's sleep.

I've never seen
this before.

He's terrified!

Mom treated me
like an inconvenience

more than, really, a child.

She'd leave me
sitting there alone,

and she'd go out to party.

I'd pretty much--
Yeah, I'd watch TV,

you know,
whole lot of wrestling.

I am just the man
who would.

[wails]

But, uh, it--it...

made me feel maybe
a little less alone.

What are
you dudes gonna do

when Hulkamania
runs wild on you?

Wrestling
would always be there.

It didn't matter what else
was going on in the universe.

They want to be
where I am.

They want to wear
the custom-made
clothes.

They want
to ride around
in long limousines.

They want--
Whoo! Whoo!

The finest women
in the world today.

It was an escape.
I mean, it just--

I kind of identified,

you know,
with most of the bad guys,

'cause I was the kid who usually
got picked last for everything.

[music playing]

[overlapping chatter]

[laughs]

Five minutes!

Five minutes!

Five minutes!

[whooping]

[music continues]

* There are all these people

* That use you
for their own needs *

* For deception...

[screaming]

Welcome
to the party zone!

[cheering]

Tonight we celebrate
10 years of action,

10 years of love.

Right now is Battlemania!

[cheering]

[new song playing]

[no audible dialogue]

[music playing,
cheering nearby]

WRESTLER: It's theater.
You want a character.

You want to be over the top,

need to be a persona.

When I'm onstage
without my makeup,

then I feel like myself.
I'm not in character.

[spits]

It's--I let all my anger out

and all my craziness out
with McFondle.

It's my way to vent.

Rraahh!

When I'm Josh like this,

even being on camera
right now makes me nervous,

and I'm--like,
stutter and stammer, and I--

Josh is a quiet, shy,
private person.

[laughs]

McFondle is
the exact opposite.

My name is Ronald McFondle.

I'm the--the hardest-tittied,
big-tittiest,

nipple butter motherfucker.

The Bushiest tail
motherfucker.

[laughs]

And you can fucking kiss
my Bush ass.

My Bush tail,
my nipple hard-on totally.

I don't snap
back and forth
very well.

I, like, turn it on.

Then I wake up
the next morning

with a hangover,
and he's gone.

Showtime! [laughs]

[cheering]

Ladies and
gentlemen,

his career
is a decade
in the making.

He inhabits
your nightmarish
wet dreams.

Ladies and
gentlemen,
give it up

for Ronald McFondle!

[cheering]

* Like shadows
on a silver screen *

* We're drinking rum
and kerosene *

* You are polite,
and I'm obscene *

* I'm very pleased
to meet you *

* Ooh-ahh

* I'm very pleased to meet you

[chanting]
Holy shit!

Holy shit!

Holy shit!

Holy shit!

EMCEE:
Combatants, are you ready?

Crowd, are you ready?

[cheering]

Let's make this official.

3, 2, 1!

Battle!

Collar and elbow.

These two lockin' it up.

Oh, knee to the cup
by McFondle!

Coming out strong
right out of the gate.

Beautiful bulldog
by Ronald McFondle!

That's experience
right there.

But the Cleanser
fighting back.

Feeling the strength
of the Cleanser.

Picking him up.

Come on!

A huge power slam!

Right under
his trapezius muscle.

That's it, man.

Uh-oh.
Possible wear-out decision.

Cleanser Crab.

The Cleanser Crab
is locked in.

Things do not look good
for Ronald McFondle.

Wait a minute.

He's coking up!

He's coking up!

[cheering]

Ah, they rolling!

Oh, is it--He's standing him up
for the Stretcher!

This is it!

Taking the Cleanser out!

And McFondle does it.

He's got the balls!

He's got the balls!

Oh, and solid steel balls
to the face!

Holy shit.

[cheering]

[announcer continues
under cheering]

Yes! Yes! Yes!

Holy shit.

Dare I say
this is shocking?!

[groaning]

Doing the pink
right in the stink.

Ronald McFondle!

[chanting]
S.S.P.!

S.S.P.!

S.S.P.!

S.S.P.!

S.S.P.!

[music playing]

I always look around me
no matter where I am.

You never know
where a door is.

You never know
where a car is.

I think it also helps
maintain good eyesight,

just keep looking
for something.

Heh. How did I
pay off my house?

What didn't I do
to pay off this house?

You know,
I collected cans.

I'd see a sink sitting
on the side of the road,

I'd take the faucet
off of it

and take those up
to the metal recycling people.

[kids chattering]

I used to ride my bike
all over downtown

and find change everywhere.

[bus horn honks]

I'll be 30 feet away,
and I'll go,

"Oh, there's
a quarter over there."

And I'll go pick it up.
[honks]

And roll it up.
Give it to the bank.

I made tellers weep
when I came in.

I made tellers go,
"Oh, I'm on lunch."

And I paid off my mortgage,

you know, using free money
that other people

were too lazy to pick up.
[laughs]

[hammer tapping]

Over here will be a bench.

It will be up
about two feet high.

Fridge will eventually
go right over here.

The sink will be over there
as soon as I install it.

Yeah, when you own a house,
you have to fix them,

maintain them, but also
kind of make this place,

well, my house.

One night, Mom got the, uh,
keys stuck in the door.

She thought she'd climb
over the fence

and knock on the window
over here and wake me up.

She couldn't climb over,
'cause she was too drunk.

She's screaming and yelling.

And then I get
a knock on the window

from the police officers
with their flashlights.

And as one police officer
escorted my mom up the stairs,

another one,
he hung back down here,

and as I'm standing right there,
he looked me in the eye

and said, "Look, this situation
is not going to get any better."

Two weeks later, I was
in a brand-new apartment

and said bye-bye.

Seven years after that,
the same thing happened.

My mom got drunk, couldn't get
the keys to work in the door,

and dropped dead
of a massive heart attack

right there on the porch.

Her birthday was
30 days before she died.

Knowing her,
she went out there

and partied
for 30 days straight.

I just wondered it was
just one more bullshit thing,

my mom was trying
to get in touch with me.

I inherited, you know,
everything Mom had,

most of this house.

She never met a check
she couldn't bounce.

So I managed to pay off
the house about a year ago.

Never really had anybody,
so it's--

Ignorance is bliss
to a certain point.

If you don't know
about something,

you don't miss it.

If I would have
had siblings,

I think I probably
would have missed, you know,

being around people.

But I can be alone
in a crowd.

In a room full of people
in it, I can still be alone.

[cheering]

[overlapping chatter]

["Bad" by Michael Jackson
playing]

EMCEE: Ladies and gentlemen,

hailing from Seattle,
Washington,

the Rhinestone Wolverine,

Sir Eddie Van Glam!

* I'm bad, I'm bad

* You know...
[cheering]

* I'm bad, I'm bad

* And the whole world
has to answer right now *

* Just to tell you
once again *

* Who's bad?

[cheering]

I remember back in the day
when I was younger,

I was saying, "I want--"

Like, you know, I had my idols
growing up watching on TV,

and I remember one day,

in front of my grandmother
and my mom,

I said, you know, "I want
to be a professional wrestler."

[crowd groaning]

ANNOUNCER: Stop!

CROWD: Eddie!
Eddie!

When I was, uh,
10 years old,

my parents divorced.

I ended up kind of being

one of the, uh, nerdy kids.

That's kind of
where my theater bug

really bit me.

["Macho Man"
by the Village People playing]

* Macho, macho man

* Macho man

Theater was
an escape for me,

'cause I didn't have
to deal with the problems

that I was facing at school
or at home.

It allowed me to be someone

who was definitely
cooler than me

or be someone
who was stronger than me.

[music playing]

Into the air.
What is he thinking?

Oh!

[cheering]

ANNOUNCER: What? No!

Don't do it!

You can't do this one!

There he goes!
[crack]

[cheering]

That was amazing.

We gotta--The next one,
please, guys, up. Um...

[overlapping chatter]

Had to peel away,
like, four fucking
layers to get it.

Ah, fuck.

You all right?

You okay, Bill?
Yeah.

You okay?

Yeah.
Okay.

[music playing]

For me, S.S.P. has been
a great band of brothers.

I don't have any family
here in Seattle.

My grandmother passed away
in August of 2004.

My grandfather passed away
the day of her funeral,

and six months later
on Saint Patrick's Day of 2005,

I lost my mom.

This was after my first
musical production in college,

me and my mom.

I actually sang
my first solo.

The earliest memory I have
of being here,

I was five years old,

spending my summers here
with my grandparents.

And we'd always
watch the boats.

We'd watch the sailboat races
go along here.

We'd watch the sun set
every night.

For two years,
I just worked and slept.

I tried to hang out
with my friends that I did have,

and they were
just never around.

So when S.S.P. came about,

I guess unknowingly
I was very hungry

for some type of group
to be a part of.

I definitely feel like
they've grown

to become my chosen family.

Like, they--
they're my brothers.

You know, they're--You know,
they're not just my buddies.

These guys are,
you know, family for me.

[music playing]
[cheering]

These guys
are my family.

These people
are my family.

Let 'em hear it
in the whole damn city!

Let 'em hear it
in the whole damn state!

Let 'em hear it
in the whole damn country!

S.S.P.!

S.S.P.!

S.S.P.!

S.S.P.!

[overlapping chatter]

JOSH: S.S.P. was
for the outcasts.

We were all kind of
the punks and nerds

and whatever in high school.

All my best friends
are S.S.P. guys.

S.S.P. is my brethren,

my family.

[train horn blowing]

I never would
have ever guessed

I would end up
being a wrestler.

I grew up in St. Anthony,
North Dakota,

tiny little town,
in a tiny little house.

This is how tiny
the town was.

My dad,
when I was six years old,

would send me to the store
with 20 bucks,

and I'd pick up,
like, a 12-pack.

The bartender would just
give a six-year-old kid

a pack of cigarettes
and fucking 12-pack,

and I'd ride back
on my bicycle.

We were poor as hell,

but when you're a kid,
you don't see it.

My whole life, I was like,
"When I graduate high school,

I'm getting the fuck
out of here."

And I didn't give a fuck about
how I had to figure it out.

So for about a year and a half,

I just hopped trains
around the Northwest,

backpack and a sleeping roll.

So you come down
at 5:00 in the morning.

When they get
out of the train yard

is when
you want to catch 'em,

while they're gaining speed.
You throw your bag on,

and you grab the fucking rail,
and you just hop up.

[train horn blows]

Ah, the first night
was hilarious.

Like, I get off the bus
at the Greyhound,

and there was just like
the worst of crackheads

and bums, and, like,
it smelled like piss everywhere.

Like, "What should I do?"

And there was two kids there
with a cardboard sign.

So I was like,
"Hey, I'm Josh.

Where do I find
a place to squat?"

And they were, like,
you know, "Around 9:00,

when the sun goes down,
we're gonna go find a place,"

and, like, "We have a squat.
We'll show you."

These guys were
so nice and trusting,

and then that night,
they immediately tried to rob me

as soon as they
had me cornered.

All I had in my entire life
was in my backpack,

and it was two guys and me
on the roof of the building.

They were like,
"Give us your backpack

"and everything
out of your pockets,

and get the fuck
out of here."

"Okay." I went
to grab my backpack.

And I kicked the John dude
in the balls

and rolled out
of the second-story window,

landed on the ground,
and took off running.

I--Like, when I fell
out the window,

I landed like Iron Man.

And I'm like, "Holy shit.
I just landed like Iron Man.

That was so awesome."

[music playing]

Even after getting jacked
that night,

I was like, "I'm not going
back to North Dakota.

I'll get jacked every night.
I'm not going back."

I had to live on the street
or go home,

and I would not go home
and be defeated.

A lot of people
on the street,

like, that was
the be-all-end-all.

That was the end of the road.
For me, it was a journey

so that I could figure out

where I want
to put my roots down.

A 20-year-old kid on the street
spare-changing

and--and traveling
and hopping trains

and hitchhiking is
a romantic journey.

A 35-year-old man
living on the streets

and spare-changing is a...

sad catastrophe.

Like, you know,
it's not romantic anymore.

But I always thought...

more would happen for me
or I would make more happen.

[music playing]

[overlapping chatter]

Watch my hand.

Ohh! Oh, God!

[groans]

[no audible dialogue]

[babbles]

Yeah!

[laughs]

Ohh!

[laughs]

We always had
an open-door policy with S.S.P.,

because all of us
were the fuck-ups.

We were all the outsiders.
We weren't the cool kids.

We don't want to make
anyone else an outcast

from our thing.
We need to include everyone.

We let everyone in the door.

We didn't turn anyone away.

[music playing]

Come on.

Melt the cheese.

How I got involved in S.S.P.?

I was riding along one day

and found a flier
on the ground,

and, you know, they were
advertising a show,

and, you know, I decided,
"Hey, I'll check that out,"

and, you know,
they had a website

that, you know, said, "Hey,
you want to be a wrestler?"

Well, Paul
came along at the peak
of the Re-bar shows.

They were trying
to recruit more guys,

and we cast
kind of a wide net.

He could look
like a wrestler

more than a lot
of these pantywaist guys,
so we let him in.

But he turned out to be
not altogether there
mentally, it seemed.

This--Yes.
This is the little postcard

that I found, uh,
in the street.

It seemed like
he just wanted

some kind of ego
fantasy fulfillment
from wrestling.

[growls]
He had this idea

of this character
he was gonna be.

Uh, but he
really didn't have
any performance chops.

He's the biologically,

chemically--heh--
reengineered Super Trooper.

Ahh.

Welcome to Washington Hall,

where you learn how to be
a professional wrestler.

Semi-pro wrestler.
Something like that.

[grunting]

Gotta have
your good foot stomp, slap.

[grunting]

Ohh. God,
that hurt like hell.

[groans]

It's all shtick.
Yeah. Ta-da.

I went to practice here
for a year and a half.

So biking from my house to here
and then to home.

[panting]

Sometimes they tried
having practices on Sunday.

I even showed up then.

Dedicated? Yeah.
I was hooked to doing

what it took to be
out there to perform.

[music playing]

Uh, the reason
that we go over drills

on how to fall
and how to roll

is because you can
easily break your arm

falling the wrong way.

That was solid.
Good.

When you're sloppy
about it,

that's bad
for everybody.

Now solely trying
to land here.

You don't want to hit
the lower back.

You don't want
to hit the head.

You notice
that he didn't throw
himself backwards.

Come on, man.
You can do it.

That was a good
tuck on the head.

That was good.

What it is
is then it just kind of
comes down to the sell.

If you sell that
like you smacked your face,
you smacked your face,

and people believe it.

You really look
like you're hitting
your head.

[music playing]

Bam.

What's going on?
[gasps]

The way I describe
pro wrestling

is it's a dance.

Everybody learns
the same dance.

They learn the same steps,

and you mix up partners.

You can do it with anybody.

[yells]

Ahh! That was
a real punch.

Unh!

Well, Paul was
a fine wrestler.

You know, he was strong.

took direction well,
as far as wrestling,

'cause I think that's
what he desired to do
was the wrestling part.

Um, but the personality
portion of, you know,

getting along
with everyone,

he didn't necessarily
do the best.

Welcome to the greatest

sports entertainment spectacular
of all time!

Welcome to Wrestlemania!

After practices,
we would all go hang out

and, uh, go to the bar
or whatever, socialize,

but Paul would always
just go straight home.

Uh, we'd get together
for some of the pay-per-views,

and, you know--
and many of them would
drink and get high,

and I'd sit there
and have some water. Heh.

He was always
a little different

than everybody--
all the other wrestlers.

Like I had a birthday party
at the Crescent,

and I call it
Halloween in August,

so everyone's
wearing a costume,

and he literally
stood by the door

with a grocery bag
with a costume in it

and just, like,
stood by the door,

and everyone
thought that he was
the door guy.

I was just invited along
since I was in the show,

and, you know,
I'd occasionally
bring some chips

or something like that
to kind of, you know,

you know,
be part of the group.

I was there
for the performance.

Wasn't there to get paid.
Wasn't there to get laid.

Wasn't there
to get drunk.

We all love
pro wrestling,

and that is the thing
that unifies us,

and I find
a lot of times,

you know, when you
have that one thing,

you can overlook
a lot of other things
about other people,

JOSH: All of us would try
to hang out with him,

but Paul didn't drink,
and he doesn't talk,

so he would just stand
in the corner quietly.

[faint laughter]

None of us really, like,
got along with him great,

but we still wanted him
to be part of the crew.

We were like, we don't
want to turn anyone away.

It's our thing.
We don't reject people.

We're--We're here
for the rejects.

Let's see here.

In this way, and...

As you can tell,
this thing doesn't...

hang like it used to.
[laughs]

When I bring a guy in

and he's nervous
about performing
in front of people,

he's nervous about
wrestling in front
of people, uh,

you put him in a mask,
in a costume,
in a character.

He can become
this character, and it
allows him to cut loose.

And what professional
wrestler does not want
to walk out onstage

without a feather boa?
Come on, now.

On Halloween,
everybody goes nuts.

They get up
in their costumes.

Some people
stay in character
all night long.

They love it,
and I think

it's a natural thing
in human beings.

When I was initially
given the role of the Banana,

all I could think of
was that's the most
embarrassing thing

to ever hit
the wrestling stage.

[chuckles]
It's like I'm being
sent out there

to, you know,
look really stupid.

That was--
That was the whole--

The Banana turned out to be
just the most amazing prank
on Paul,

because, like,
we're like,

"Well, let's just
make him be a banana,
and he'll hate it,

but, like, it'll--
he'll earn some stripes."

He was--
He was opposed.

He thought that,
like, he would--

He thought
it was a rib on him.

At least people
would laugh

if there was a guy
in a banana outfit.

The Banana, it just seemed
like a garbage gimmick

that nobody would want
on any planet, but, uh,

I responded with, "Okay.
I'm gonna be the best
banana you ever seen."

In all fairness,
you know, he was upset

about wearing
a banana costume.

I had to dress
as a chick for,
like, a year. Okay?

Oh, Siren.

So beautiful.
Oh, wow.

That was a rib
when I made him

wrestle in drag
for a year.

Oh, Siren
doesn't like that.

Look at her.
She's fucking hot, man.

Could have been worse.
Could have been wearing a dress.

[overlapping chatter]

* Day-o

[scatting
"Banana Boat" song]

* Daylight come,
and me want to go home *

Ladies and gentlemen,
hailing from the Banana
Republic,

the man with
international appeal,

the man who never
slips ups,

the Banana!

[cheering]

[booing]

[chanting]
Ba-na-na! Fuck him up!

Ba-na-na! Fuck him up!

Ba-na-na! Fuck him up!

Ba-na-na! Fuck him up!

Ba-na-na! Fuck him up!

We have the makings
of a classic battle.

Health food
versus junk food.

Combatants,
are you ready?

3, 2, 1! Battle!

Oh!

Fries give Banana
the slip.

Whoa.
Remember, guys,

finish your beers
before you
throw them.

[music playing]

Oh, shit!

Head right
to the Banana's gut!

What's this?
He's pulling an arm.

He's super sizing!

Oh, yes!

Now what's
he up to?

Oh!

[laughs]

Making a fool
of Mr. Banana.

[crowd groans]

Big right hand
by the Banana.

[booing]

Ba-na-na! Fuck him up!

Ba-na-na! Fuck him up!

Ba-na-na! Fuck him up!

[crowd groans]

[music playing]

PAUL: After the finish
of the match,

I get up,
and I got the crowd

just screaming, "Ba-na-na."

And I'm slapping hands.

I'm slapping hands and, like,
cheering the crowd on

and thinking,
"Oh, this is great."

When the show was over,
I helped, you know,
load up the van,

and then
I'd pack up my stuff,

and I'd head
towards the bus stop.

And from there,
I took the bus right home.

Suddenly the thought hit me.
"Couple hours ago,

"I was in front of a crowd full
of cheering, screaming people

digging what I was doing."

And I used to be
a guy in high school

that I couldn't get
the cheerleaders

for my own high school
to cheer for me.

It was one
of those strange thoughts

that just goes
across your head

as you're about
to go to sleep.

I was just thinking, "Well,
where'd all the people go?"

I was surrounded
by a whole lot of people,

and now there is absolutely
nobody around here.

And I liked it.

I wanted to go out there,
do it again,

and I wanted
to do it better.

[overlapping chatter]

JOSH: Paul, he was
supposed to be playing

a goofy character
and being silly,

and it was kind of supposed
to be a comedy character,

and Paul
didn't take it that way.

I was feeling rea--
really great about
the last match,

and I show up
at the next show
for the next match,

and I just kind of felt
that chill in the room

when Josh put
his arm around me

and said, "I'm gonna
take you under my wing."

[laughs]

He is an actor
playing a part,

and I write the part.

We wanted a goofy,
dancing, funny banana,

a happy, fun character,

not a dickhead.
[chuckles]

And Paul went out
and played the bad guy
in a banana suit.

Ohh!

And there's
nothing funny

about a guy
in a banana suit
being a dick.

[booing]

[crowd groans]

When I approached
the Banana,

I just thought he's
just a big, yellow penis.

He goes out there,
and he's just a big dick.

[crowd groaning]

He really
took it seriously.

Hi. I'm Paul Richards,

a.k.a. the Banana,

potassium greatness

and your one true
golden god.

Like, no,
you're not.

You're in a gay bar.

Heh. People
are throwing
empty cans at you.

Your finishing move
is probably about
someone's butthole,

so that's
not professional.

And McFondle
pulls him out of the way!

You can't be a bad guy
in a banana suit.
It's a clash.

It's a comedy asshole
thing that doesn't work.

You want me
to be a banana,

I'm gonna be
my kind of banana.

The Camel Clutch!
The Camel Clutch!

Do I wanna be the guy
that gets his ass kicked
every week,

or do I want to be
the guy in the mirror shades
and the crappy blazer

holding
the championship belt?

I wanted to be the guy
with the championship belt.

[booing]

JOSH: We tried
so many things
to make it work,

and he went out and did
the polar opposite of it

month after month
after month.

All of us had tried.
I tried to just get him

to play the character
the way we wanted,

and nothing got through,

so we decided
that we had to--

we had
to change it up.

[gong reverberates]

[music playing]

All my bo-nanas
and chickitas out there
in the S.S.P. arena,

the Banana Republic,
and Banana nation,

I'm here to tell you
how hard work, kung fu,

and potassium power
can make your dreams
come true.

The new Banana

was way more
charismatic.

That's Luke,
was Second Banana.

Second Banana.
Get it?

Also--Also
with the gags.

It just
keeps going here.

"Okay, man, we're
gonna pair you with
another banana.

"We're gonna call you
Bunch of Bananas.

Banana One
and Banana Two."

And he didn't like
that idea.

He didn't like the name
Bunch of Bananas.

And I'm like,
"Come on, dude.

"What else are you
gonna call a tag team

of two bananas
than Bunch of Bananas?
Seriously?"

What--What else
would it be called?

I'm here with
the Bunch of Bananas,

and they've got
a message for the Weapons
of Mass Destruction.

Weapons
of Mass Destruction,

Weapons of
Mass Destruction,

I've watched you

running around here
at the S.S.P. arena,

bullying people
around,

and I've had enough.

Uh, my first impression
of him, it wasn't much.

He just looked like
a guy who was, uh,
gonna hurt himself.

We may be yellow,

but we
ain't cowards.

Uh, it just made me not
wanna work with the guy.

Viva Las Bananas!

[coughs]

I mean, I could tell
that he--he was definitely
feeling something,

because he def--
he wanted me to--

he wanted me
to wear a mask.

When the whole
Second Banana thing came up,

he wanted me
to wear a mask.

This was my concept
for the, uh,

Second Banana character.

He didn't fucking talk.
[laughs]

I absolutely,
straight-out refused

to wear the--the mask.

But he got these
really cool dreads, man.

I least figured
my sidekick ought to
have some dreads, man.

It was like, "No, this isn't
gonna happen," and he was
definitely upset over that.

So I knew something
was gonna happen.
I knew something was up.

Sewed this
in a--you know,
couple afternoons.

You know, my first,
you know, lucha mask.

[overlapping chatter]

Ladies and gentlemen,
from the Banana Republic,

the Banana!

[booing]

You dumb-ass!

Presenting also
from the Banana Republic,

the Second Banana!

[cheering]
[music playing]

* Hey, yeah, hey, yeah

* Hey, yeah, there you go

* There you go,
there you go *

* There you go,
peanut butter, jelly *

* Peanut butter, jelly

* Peanut butter, jelly

* Peanut butter, jelly...

Oh, God.

That would be Luke.

Luke is, uh--

That's about the extent
of his repertoire.

* Peanut butter, jelly

* Peanut butter, jelly...

As you can see,
you know, Second Banana
was useless.

Yeah.

[rock-'n'-roll playing]

* I'm reaching out
for something *

* Gonna fly up
to my dreams *

* I'm taking no prisoners

* After all,
this is my life *

* I'm gonna go over

* Over the red line

* I'm gonna go over

* Over the red line

PAUL: Since I was
supposed to suck,

if Lucas went out there
and sucked,

I think that was
what some people
kind of wanted.

But the worse he did,
the better they liked
him, it seemed.

But he seemed
to keep hanging around,
kissing their ass

and saying
all the right things.

It was,
"Who can I suck up to

"so I can go out there
and be the guy

on the stage
instead of Paul?"

[overlapping chatter]

JOSH: I feel
that we tried.

We felt
that the character was
not working for him,

because the audience
was acting negatively.

And that's why
we were saying

let's--let's give him
a new role.

Let's make--Let's
kill off the Banana

and let Paul
come back as whatever
he wants to be.

I'm the one
that went to him

about telling him
we're pulling
his character,

and I'm the one--
I sat down with him,
and I said, "Hey,

"we appreciate
that you've put in
all this hard work,

"and you're
at every practice.

"You're working
your ass off.

"You're doing good.
You're just not doing
good in this role.

"So we're pulling you
from the Banana.

The Second Banana
is gonna take over
the Banana role."

They actually
came out--right out
and said,

"You're not gonna
be the, you know,
Banana anymore.

"We're gonna have
you lose to Luke,

"and Luke's gonna
be the Banana,

and you can
come back as some
other character."

Which was basically
a euphemism for,

"Yeah, once we
get rid of you,

we're just going
to say, 'Fuck you.'"

By taking the Banana
off of him,

I felt like we were
doing what he wanted.

I'm like, "You are
not playing the role

"that I wrote for you
very well,

"so let me
sit down with you,

"and we'll write
a role for you,
highlighting you.

"This is what you want
and what you need.

We're gonna
help you move on."

I-I've been around
junkies and drunks
long enough

to know when you're
bullshitting me,

and I didn't buy it.

So, yeah,
I was like, "Nah."

He seemed like
everything was fine.

He didn't have
any issue with it.

But I--
But that was just Paul.

He never said anything
except, "Yes," and, "No."

All Paul ever did was nod
and silently agree with you.

[music playing]

This was all,
you know, 99%

all Josh's concept, idea.

It's like I--
I had picked a day to leave,

and that was the day
I was going to leave,

and I didn't tell anybody.

I didn't talk
to anybody about it.

I just gave everybody
in charge a chance

to talk to me about
what the hell was going on.

And then finally tell me
five days before the show

that, "Yeah, we're gonna
replace you with this guy."

They didn't discuss it.
They just said,

"This is
what's gonna happen."

It was like, "No, no, no.
I'm the Banana."

"You gotta at least--
You know,

you want my cooperation,
you need to talk to me."

And so I just picked the day
and left.

[music playing]

[overlapping chatter]

How's that?

[babbles]

EMCEE: Ladies and gentlemen,
I give you first,

hailing from
the Banana Republic,

the Bunch of Bananas!

[cheering]

* Hey, yeah, hey, yeah,
hey, yeah *

* Hey, yeah, there you go

* There you go,
there you go *

* There you go,
peanut butter, jelly *

* Peanut butter, jelly

EMCEE: And their opponents
in this match,

creations of our
greatest President,

George W. Bush,

I give you the Weapons
of Mass Destruction!

Four more years!

Four more years!

Four more years!

Our greatest President ever.

Let's do this
and do it right.

3, 2, 1! Battle!

[music playing]

U.S.A.! U.S.A.!

U.S.A.!

U.S.A.!

[music playing]

Tag is made.

Kicked him in the gut.

* Spend my life holding on
to nothing real *

* Silhouette of our world,
spinning wheel *

* Resurrect
when they mean to heal *

* I want to listen
to hear *

* Feelin' effect

* See the effect

* My heart's on fire

* Step into the fire

Ohh!

1, 2, 3!

[cheering]

And your winners,
the Banana Republic!

[chanting]
Fuck them up!

Fuck them up!

Fuck them up!

Fuck them up!

Fuck them up!

Fuck them up!

Fuck them up!

Fuck them up!

Fuck them up!

Fuck them up!

[music playing]

* If love kicks
your doors in *

* Will you bow and surrender

* And let
your heart win tonight? *

And, yeah. And I just
walked out, and I--

Yeah. And then
downstairs,

You know, downstairs,
they have an interview
with the Banana.

Didn't even talk to me.

Didn't say, "Oh, hey,
there's the other guy

in the banana costume,
too." Heh heh.

They just
interviewed Luke,

which pissed me off
to no end.

Okay, we're here
at S.S.P., Seattle
Semi-Pro Wrestling.

Uh, what's your name?

My name is
the Second Banana.
Oh, yeah. [winces]

Even though
I was leaving--

I mean, it's like--
I'm walking
out the door,

and you're
not gonna see
my ass there,

you know, performing
with you again,
but, you know--

Yeah, the fact they
didn't even say,

"Hey, you know,
there's this other
banana guy there.

You know, let's talk
to him..."

Ahh. You don't think
banana has ribs,

but I tell you what.
They do. Yeah.

They didn't even
talk to me,

let alone acknowledge
I was there.

[birds chirping]

[music playing]

PAUL: People ask, you know,
"Gee, what was--

"you know, what's going on?

Why isn't Paul, you know,
with the show?"

And Josh went
on his, you know,

blame Paul, you know, rant.

Yeah, apparently
he thought that I was
talking shit online.

I was able
to log in and see
all the nice things

that Josh was
saying about me.

I don't know
what the fuck I said,

but if I said anything,
I said he's a bitch
for fucking quitting,

so I have no idea what he's
talking about with that.

We would egg him on
on there,

uh, 'cause it was just fun

to troll Paul
on the Internet.

I assume he's just
talking about some, like,

lighthearted joking
that we all made
all the time.

[babbles]

His blogs were
about the change

he found at fast-food
drive-throughs
on his bicycle,

'cause that's how he was
paying his mortgage.

I still see him
occasionally on his bike

with this--
just looking at the ground,
looking for quarters.

It's so pathetic.

Paul's a piece of shit.

He didn't get his way.

He walked out,
realized that nobody

fucking liked him
'cause he was an asshole.

Fuck you.

You're not
a human being.

[music playing]

My mom was a drunk,
so there was one kid

they could let
the other kids pick on.

That was me.

They saw me as just
the same as my mom

and not an individual.

They thought I would turn out
just the same way,

which couldn't be
farther from the truth. Heh.

Uh, you know, I don't drink.
I don't smoke.

Never been arrested.

Never took drugs,
so, you know, to look back

at the way people
saw me when I was a kid

and younger was just like,
"Damn,

"you really
didn't know me at all

and didn't take the time."

As a kid, yeah,
I would definitely fight back.

I knew that, you know,
if I got in trouble

with the teachers, well,
I was gonna get in trouble

anyway for hitting the guy,

and I knew the guy
wasn't gonna stop

unless I hit him back,
you know.

Yeah, I-I'd stand up
for myself

and make sure that you
did not want to hit me again.

And if that meant hitting you
two, three, four times,

I was gonna do it.

You could either take a beating
or give one,

and I preferred to be
on the punching side.

"To whom it may concern,

"a bar located
at 9186 East Pike Street,

"Seattle, Washington, 98122,

"is running a monthly show

"on the first Wednesday
of the month.

"The name of the show
is Seattle Semi-Pro Wrestling,

S.S.P., website address,
itsallreal.net."

"I read through
the list of laws

"concerning
pro wrestling events,

"and in my opinion,
none of those laws

"are in compliance
at this show.

"There is lack of security.

"Audience members are encouraged

to throw beer cans
at the performers."

"I also have viewed
several of the performers

"using illegal drugs
such as marijuana

"prior to bouts and also
one during his act.

"Many of the performers
are poorly trained

"or if at all,
which has led to injuries.

"As the governing body
for athletic events

"for Washington State,
even pro wrestling exhibitions,

"I am hoping you
will have the resources

"to bring this show
into compliance.

Thank you for your attention
on this matter."

The Banana's
not going to lose.

You know,
the Banana never did lose.

The Banana will not lose.

Heh. That is a rule.
[chuckles]

So one day,
out of nowhere,

one of the bar owners
called me from the bar
we performed at

and said that they
had gotten a cease
and desist order

from the Department
of Licensing

and that if we
put on another show,

they are gonna pull
the liquor license
of the venue.

We have to stop.
They were gonna
call the cops.

You know, we got cops
coming to the shows.

[siren blares]

We had the cops
watching us close.

I have a feeling
that the guy who
ratted us out

was tipping them off
to where shows were.

On Wednesday, August 6,

Officer James and I
attended the S.S.P.
Wrestling.

So they decided
that they were gonna

send someone to review
one of our shows

and to see if it
was professional wrestling.

He totally did not have
a sense of humor whatsoever.

"One actor wore
a T-shirt that read,

'Fuck you,
you fucking fuck.'"

I was trying
to explain to him

that it was theater,
it was goofy.

"There was frequent
yelling of obscenities

and references
to blowjobs."

And it was ridiculous,
'cause I had to sit there

and explain
to this police officer

that my character
is Ronald McFondle,

and I fist people's asses
until they tap out.

"One routine consisted
of actors in clown costumes

"knocking down an actor
in a George W. Bush mask

"and dry-humping
his still-clothed rear end

while he was lying
on the floor."

He was a very stern
and, you know--

He was a cop in uniform
looking at me like I was
an asshole the whole time.

But he sat there
looking down,

just taking notes
on everything all
stern and stoic

and not showing
any emotion to us,

like, not letting us know
what was going on.

What the hell happened?

How did the Department
of Licensing finally
catch wind of us?

It never said boo.
How could they
have found--

found out that we were
doing these shows?

And it was Paul.

Paul started writing
all these comments

on the Stranger blog,

bragging about
his revenge on there

and how he was writing
a tell-all book about his life

in the professional
wrestling industry.

[laughs]

Do I think Paul
betrayed S.S.P.? Yeah.

Oh, how do you betray
someone in pro wrestling?

[laughs]

This is the kind
of rationalization

that an evil
heel wrestler does

to justify
his shitty behavior.

I enjoy being the bad guy,

but it's only because I'm
really, really good at it.

He's a psychopath.
The dude--

Like, he's mentally
not there.

If I'm going
to piss you off

and get you
so pissed off

that you're yelling
and screaming and
spitting at me,

I win.

[music playing]

I personally was shocked
about the news.

I mean, it hurt me.
It upset me.

But at the same time,

I didn't have this feeling
like it was over.

Like, we were gonna--I knew
we were gonna all fight this.

I knew that we were all gonna
keep going in some fashion.

Like, I didn't think
it was gonna die.

I didn't want it to die.

And the rest of the guys,

we didn't want it to die.

Getting
the equipment.

I think it was important
that we not give up.

What we were--What we were
doing is not any danger to us,

and we're gonna prove that
by continuing to go out

and do what we're doing.

Everybody!

We were like, "People
have been telling us

"what to fucking not do
our whole life.

Like, we're not
listening anymore."

You gonna tell us to stop,

we're gonna tell you
to fuck yourself.

And we're gonna fight it,
whatever we have to do.

You can make us stop,
but we're gonna cause
a fucking stink on the way.

I'm gonna go out the door
kicking and screaming.

I took the case on,
because it involved
free-speech issues.

It's not normal
for the police

to threaten arrest
for theatrical activity.

What we had hoped to do
is make an argument

that this is theater,
um, cabaret theater.

I could never
consider it as
actual wrestling,

'cause--Heh.
It's just like

we're pretending
to be wrestlers.

I think everyone
was in on the joke,
and if you weren't,

then I don't--
I don't know who could
not be in on the joke.

When you got a guy
in a clown suit fisting
John McCain onstage,

and you think it's real,
you're an idiot.

Why--Why did
the state even care

what some whiny
son of a bitch had to say?

Why? Because they have
no idea what they're doing.

Are they protecting
the children?

We're twenty--We're in bars.
There are no children.

I mean, except for the ones
in McFondle's van.

MAN: The problem is,
is that wrestling

is full-body contact,
is real effort.

Therefore, this is
professional wrestling.

Basically we're
in an appeals process,

so we're
fighting it, but--

but they're not even
telling us anything, so...

basically we send them
our appeal,

and then we wait,
and in the meantime,

the lawyer says go ahead.

How long you
think that'll be?

I...don't know.

Six months, a year,
two years,

[laughs]
It's an appeal.
It's red tape,

so red tape
takes forever.

The--The boys in S.S.P.
are my family here.

I have a hard time
imaging not having
them around.

Um...

[music playing]

Government in general
and bureaucracy in particular

is like a giant boulder
on the top of a--
a steep hill.

Um, it's not going anywhere
until you push it,

but once it's rolling,
it's not going to stop.

You can try
to slow it down,

but if you're under it,
uh, you will get crushed.

We had one
of the best lawyers
in the fucking city,

and he went to them
and was like,

"What do we have to do
to be legal?"

and they would not
give us a straight answer.

We wanted to get legal,
but they wouldn't tell us
what we had to do.

Hey. What's up, man?
How you doing, baby?

How are you?
Good.

[laughter]

All I want to do is
beat up my friends for fun

in front
of my other friends,

and I want my other friends
to laugh while we laugh.

I want good, positive energy

to flow through the building
full of people I love.

I don't give a fuck.
As long as I could
legally do this

and not get in trouble,

it would mean
the goddamn world to me.

For me, it's
a very emotional night.

I was very scared
that people would
stop caring.

Knowing that this might
be my last performance,

I'm wanting
to give the audience
something to remember,

really just kind of give
'em everything I got,

like, have nothing left.

This feeling that
I'm experiencing,

it's definitely
going to play into
the performance.

ANNOUNCER: It's been
a rough week.

It's been a crazy, uh,
couple of days here.

Uh, we all have
a different way of coping,

but, uh, we're here
to have fun,

and that isn't the easiest
thing to do right now,

but we're still
gonna do it for you.

I want to say to everyone,
I know it's tough right now.

Thank you for coming out.

We appreciate
the fuck out of it.

[cheering]

DAVID: It was bunch of guys
having fun onstage,

and there was
no wrestling,

but I couldn't convince
the Department of that.

They were threatening
S.S.P. members with arrest.

A big power slam!

When someone threatens
to arrest you

and that person is
a government official,

you have to take it
seriously.

I basically
took every avenue
of due process I could.

Uh, in the end,
it was stalling tactics.

In the end,
they did not care.

They--They basically
just applied their law.

[music playing]

[cheering]

Dravon Lawless!

[music continues]

[crowd chanting]

ANNOUNCER:
McFondle.
McFondle wig.

A word
from the man.

I hate talking when I'm
not in a clown suit.

I'm actually very shy.

You're disgusting!

Today's 10 years
since I started this bit,

and I love all of you guys.
[cheering]

I'm the only dude
who has one.

ANNOUNCER:
Josh! Josh!

Josh! Josh!

Thank you.
Josh! Josh!

I wanted--
I wanted to thank all--

These are my guys
in the back,

and all the S.S.P. guys,
deviants.

Simon, Travis, Owen.

I don't know who else
is here, but...

I love you, guys.
Thank you so much

for the best 10 years
of my life.

And I'm hoping for one more
"anal fisting" chant
before I go.

You guys ready?

Anal fisting!

Anal fisting!

Anal fisting!

Anal fisting!

Anal fisting!

Anal fisting!

Anal fisting!

Anal fisting!

[music playing]

[music continues]

[music fades]

...gotta step up
to the plate here

and was given
an opportunity.

...about a half-mile
from the moonwalk,

in the shadows
of the Crescent's--

[music playing]

We still are a family.
We still all hang out.

A few of us have drifted off
and settled down.

We're all older now,
and we don't have time

to be putting on
all this stuff

and, like,
fighting all this anymore.

so, like, it's time for us all
to just focus on our families

and our girlfriends
and, you know, our jobs.

I have to--I have
a lighting career now

to look forward to, so...

I'm doing an apprenticeship
for lighting design,

so I'm going to be doing lights
for theater and concerts.

It's time to just move on
and grow up.

[music playing]

* I keep my suitcase near

* It helps me get
from here to there *

* There ain't much
that I need *

* The things I need
are close to me *

* I keep my suitcase near

* It helps me get
from here to there *

* Ain't much that I need

* The things I need
are close to me *

* I keep my suitcase near

* It helps me get
from here to there *

* There ain't much
that I need *

* The things I need
are close to me *

[cheering]

[new music playing]

ADONIS: Well, I think
in the short term,

Paul did win.

I mean, he--If his goal was
to shut down the organization,

if his goal was to stop us
from performing,

he achieved his goal,

but I think he was
a small man with small goals.

He achieved his small goal,
and then--

I hope he gained--I hope
he gained some level
of satisfaction from it,

because that's all
he's ever gonna get.

PAUL: When the Department
of Licensing, you know,

finally shut 'em down,
I wasn't too surprised.

Like, I felt justified,

even though, you know, I knew
some good people were hurt.

I--I knew that, hey,
you know, stood up for me,

and--and screw
everybody else.

Felt okay. You know, I got my,

you know--
got my pound of flesh,

and--and that's about it.
Then I was--

You know, put it
in the rear-view
mirror and move on.

BILL: I was hungry.

I--I needed
to find something.

I was driving people
up the wall,

try to find
something else to do.

I needed a place
to put this energy,

this creative energy
towards.

[carnival music playing]

[music fading]

[cats meowing]

[new music playing]

[microwave beeps]

[music continues]

[music ends]

[alarm ringing]

[music playing]

One night,
I get a link sent to me

about a bill
that's been introduced

to force the Department
of Licensing in Washington

to look into whether or
not they should oversee
pro wrestling at all.

Then I look a little bit
further down this link

and realize the hearing
is the next day.

Yeah, nobody had
planned on going.

Then nobody we knew
was going.

I had to be at work
'til 3:00 A.M.

I was like,
"Screw it.

"I'll get
three hours
of sleep,

and we're going
to Olympia, and I'm
gonna testify."

And I hate
speaking in public.

That was a really
big deal for me

to, like,
speak in front of
a Senate hearing.

[faint chatter]

We will win this fight.

[cheering]

CHAIRMAN: Welcome to
the Business and Financial
Services Committee

in the House of Representatives.

Today we have
an exciting agenda.

We're going to have
democracy in action.

And we're gonna
go out on a limb

and maybe even do something
a little bit edgy.

We're gonna start
with House Bill 2573.

David, take it away.

Uh, the Department
of Licensing regulates

boxing, kickboxing,
and wrestling events.

This bill requires
the Department of Licensing

to de--to conduct
a sunrise review

of the need for regulation
of theatrical wrestling events.

The Department of Licensing
must consult

with professional
and theatrical
wrestling participants

under Chapter 67-08.

Did I hear you right?

That the outcome
may be predetermined?

Participants
do not strive to win?

Mr. Chair,
that--that isn't,

uh, necessarily intended
to say that wrassling
isn't real.

[laughter]
Um...

We have two,
uh, individuals

who have signed in
wishing to testify.

Come on up. Give us
your testimony.

Go right ahead.

We'll have
questions after
the panel's done.

Uh, my name
is Josh Koontz,

and I was
a theatrical wrestler.

I was part
of an organization

named Seattle
Semi-Pro Wrestling,

essentially
a spoof wrestling show

at a local bar
in Seattle.

A disgruntled performer
turned us in to the
Department of Licensing.

The Department's reaction
was to send a cease and desist,

threaten us with arrest,

and threaten to have
the Liquor Control Board

revoke the venue's license.

We felt this was unfair
and overreaching,

as what we did was more
of a theater performance

than an athletic
competition.

Ultimately we
were just not allowed
to continue.

We had a successful
and well attended
regular show

that was shut down,
costing us and
the State of Washington

a great deal of money,
time, and headache.

And I believe
the current laws
are a hindrance

not only
to the small businessman,

promoter trying
to put on events,

but to the state's ability
to generate tax revenue.

He's usually
much more comfortable
punching people...

If I'm wearing a mask,
I can talk on a microphone
all day.

[chuckles]

And Representative Blake
has a great moustache

for wrestling
if you ever want to--

You know, you got
the look, anyway.

[no audible dialogue]

ADONIS: They had--They
had a lot of questions.

JOSH: Yeah. Well, I just
like that it was fun.

And they were all
having a good time
and making laughs.

And it's S-T-R-A...

T-T-O-N.

And I go under
The Professor.

Got their attention.

Yeah. I think
they just, like--

They were just having
a good time with it.

I'm gonna post
a picture of me and Jake

in front of the dome
on Facebook.

We're gonna
clean up Congress.

We're gonna
clean up Congress.

[laughs]

I thought
it went really well.

I doubt--I'm still
not convinced anything
is gonna come of it,

but it was fun,
not terrifying.
[laughs]

Well, I don't imagine
it's gonna be like

we're gonna get a huge
front-page article.

We probably get a blurb
where--where it's like,

uh, you know,
"Flying--" you know,

"Steel chairs
were flying in, uh,
Hearing Room B."

Up until last night
when I found out
this was happening,

I really thought
there was no chance that
anything was gonna change.

Hopefully something
comes of it,

but who knows
what this means?

[wrestling bell rings]

"Kelly's Court"
is back in session.

On the docket today,
the Banana,

Ronald McFondle,
and Big Brother.

Meet the Seattle
Semi-Pro Wrestlers,

bunch of beer-drinking
average Joes and Janes

roughhousing in ridiculous
costumes until now.

You see, the league wanted
to take away Mr. Banana's crown.

They were gonna replace him

with someone called
the Second Banana,

and Mr. Banana had had it!

You see, he went
and reported his buddies

for a license violation,
saying, in fact,

this thing is--is a sport
and it needs to be
regulated as such.

And now the state has shut
the entire league down,

saying it needs
a professional ring,

it needs doctors,

and it needs to pay a hefty
licensing fee to go forward.

But is that right?
What say you?

I'm--I'm incensed.

It's ridiculous.
Is it a sport?

Obviously
it's not a sport.

How did this
come into the hands
of the government?

'Cause a snitch,
someone we call a rat,

who was upset because
his little character

was gonna be
taken off, so he ran
to the bureaucrats.

Well, the government,
once again,

gets in our backyard,
gets in our barroom.

We were looking
to have a good time,

and starts regulate,
regulate.

They regulate this.
They regulate that.

They regulate
everything under a hat.

Drives you nuts!
Let me just say this.

Surely
the Seattle authorities

can think of ways
to improve their bottom line

other than to harass
the likes of Ronald McFondle.

WOMAN: It has
more in there?

Passengers
are on that list,

but somehow...
[music playing]

Wrestlers in our state

who feel like they're
tangled in red tape

and body-slammed
by bureaucracy

took their fight
to Olympia today.

Lawmakers are
considering a bill

that can make it
easier for wrestlers
to put on shows.

Josh Black said
he used to sell out
wrestling shows at Re-bar.

We want to work
with them to change
these laws

so that we can
have a flourishing
wrestling community.

House Bill 2573
has passed unanimously
in committee.

It's expected to go
before the House Tuesday.

House Bill 2573
relates to theatrical
wrestling events.

Theatrical wrestlers
claim overregulation
has them in a stranglehold.

It's thriving in other states.
Why isn't it thriving here?

There's plenty
of talent, and there's
plenty of fans.

Let us put on
our shows.

Let us entertain
the people.

Susan Collard is D.O.L.'s

Administrator
of Combative Sports.

We do go, and we do
make sure the ring is safe.

House Bill 2573
on third reading

and final passage,
remarks?

These participants
are actually working

for entertainment purposes.

The regulations
don't fit the activity.

We believe that a study

may help us deregulate this

and move it back
to a theatrical performance.

Anybody who actually
wrestled in high school

knows that this
is all theater.

Speaker's about to open
the roll call machine.

The Speaker has opened
the roll call machine.

Has every member voted?

And received
a constitutional
majority.

House Bill 2573
is declared passed.

You killed it, man.
Way to be.

[overlapping chatter]

[laughs]

I'm down with that.

Yeah, I'm Josh.
Hi. I'm Tony.

It's nice to meet you.

What we want to
make sure we do

is pull the right
people together.

Yeah, we're all for
figuring out the regulation.

It's good to have
a face on the D.O.L.,
'cause we've never really--

Through the whole
S.S.P. thing,

it was so frustrating
trying to talk to somebody,

and there was a wall there.

Our interest,
that we want

to understand
the sport fully

and then...
Yeah.

do what's
right in terms
of regulation.

They were more cooperative
than I imagined
they ever would be,

and, uh, it was really cool
of them to reach out to us

and offer to sit down
instead of us having
to make it happen.

When I got shut down,
we had a lawyer,

and we couldn't even--
with a lawyer

sit down and figure out
exactly what
we had to do

and how we could
make it affordable
for us and--

So we just
want to make sure

we pull together
the right people.

So if you guys can
help us with that.

I'm definitely
interested.

Yeah, you can take
a picture right here

of us with the D.O.L.
right there.

Sorry to put you on the spot.
Ah, ah, ah.

[laughter]

Yeah!
[cheering]

[music playing]

* In context

* These heart swells

* These context
in your head *

* Wasps' nests

* These terminals once again

[no audible dialogue]

Representing
the State of Washington,

B.A. Maracas!

[cheering]

I don't understand
you people.

I've given you gay marriage.

[cheering]

I've given you marijuana.

[cheering]
Heck, yeah!

And now you want wrestling?

[cheering]

* These vessels,
our heart swells up *

* Oh, hell, no

* These vessels,
our heart swells up *

* Which welcome
these heart swells up *

* Which make us explode

* Oh, hell, no

* We should've said no

* Oh, hell,
we should've said no *

* Heart swells,
which make us explode *

Eddie Van Glam!

* We set it on fire

* We set it on fire

[chanting]
Eddie! Eddie! Eddie!

[cheering]

* Like shadows
on a silver screen *

* We're drinking rum
and kerosene *

* You are polite,
and I'm obscene *

* I'm very pleased
to meet you *

* Ooh-ahh

* Very pleased to meet you

Heavens, no!

He spanked him!

[music continues]

S.S.P.!

S.S.P.!

S.S.P.!

We're on the verge
of having new, like, real--

And we can do this shit
legally soon.

[cheering]

I'm working with
the Department of Licensing
to make that shit happen.

Everybody hang out, 'cause I
have some more beer.

Give me hugs.
Feed me drugs and pussy.

[cheering]
Yeah!

Stick around.

[music playing]

Like, another 20.

Now that this
is said and done,

if anything
I want from this,

is that some
19-year-old sees this shit

and is like, "Hey,
me and my friends could
be fucking awesome."

[laughs]

You can just make ripples

that affect
everyone around you

and have good times
and happiness

and build bonds
and have family.

I never imagined
that me and the Department
of Licensing

would be hugging
each other and happy

and so happy
to fix things.

It was awesome.

I'm still blown
the fuck away

by what happened
the other day.

[music playing]

[new music playing]

PAUL: Barely a day goes by

that you don't miss
the crowd cheering for you

or booing you.

You know,
it's one of those things

where you--
you'll always miss it.

You know, you always
want to go out there onstage.

It's--It's just
one of those things

you--you can't escape.

Uh, in my future, I'd--

I plan to keep
finishing off the house.

Uh, then after I
finally retire,

bike the Earth,
like Caine from "Kung Fu,"

except, you know, on a bike.

Travel up and down
Highway 101 and--

and see what's out there.

When you're out there
on a bike,

you pretty much see everything,

and you have plenty of time
to contemplate everything.

It's just a feeling you get
when you're out there.

I--You know,
kind of hard to explain.

So that's where I'll be.

You know, I'll be
out there biking around

and seeing the world.

[kid chattering nearby]

WOMAN: Quiet, please!

[overlapping chatter]

[music playing]

* The way that she
cuts through a room *

* Makes me want
to exhume the madness *

* That flits between
our lips like dynamite *

* And a moistened wick so

* You feel like a firefly

* Whose lamp's unlit
and smothered by the bed *

* The sweat,
the dawns of the past *

* The taste of the small,
of an old lover's laugh so *

* You bust your bank

* Try to build
a better bang for your buck *

* DNA to outdistance

* The tethers
that you're tied to *

* The family lines
that will hang you out to dry *

* And you wonder why

* Our hearts
are such hungry beasts *

* The harder we starve them

* The more all-consuming

* And I understand

* They'll never find
the love that they need *

* So we try to run 'em
into the ground *

* As I watch her unpack her hair
like stacks of black pyramids *

* So I smile
like a crack in a dam *

* Or a condemned chair
to electric man so *

* She wants stability

* What's that?
I can't hear you *

* She wants stability

* So I'll go
and buy her a pony *

* She wants stability

* I'll lay my head
on a goddamn platter *

* She wants stability

* But in the end, it doesn't
really matter, 'cause *

* Our hearts
are such hungry beasts *

* The harder we starve them

* The more all-consuming

* And I understand

* They'll never find
the love that they need *

* So we try to run 'em
into the *

* Our heads are bottled up

* By the most
heathen thoughts *

* Our bodies hang in limbo

* Of what we need
and what we want *

* She's a cutter, but I
love her just the same *

* Undercover, but I never
learned her real name *

* She's a gutter, but I
love her just the same *

* Undercover, but I never
learned her real name *

* She's a cutter, but I
love her just the same *

* Undercover, but I never
learned her real name *

* I'm an old man,
I'm only getting older *

* The world gets younger
as I push boulders *

[new song playing]

* Well, I've gone stalking

* Will you answer the door?

* Or will you shutter
your heart for good? *

* If love kicks
your doors in *

* Will you bow and surrender

* And let
your heart win tonight? *