Original subtitles

Hi, I'm Lewis Gardner.

Ben Camelino has been my best friend since eighth grade.

People always found Ben half coward...

But not when the beast really did.

Good lady, where are you going? Come here.

WOMEN'S CLUB

What would you do for love?

Some guys buy flowers, some buy jewelry.

Musician Tommy Lee tattooed his girlfriend's name on his instrument.

Ben? He dances a lot every night.

Which is very different from our extremely boring days in our work.

At Worldtec Worldwide in the beautiful San Fernando Valley.

Eight hours a day from hell on earth.

Did you find anything?

Only a few spywares...

The m43 trojan program...

Some pop-ups...

Wow!

Some photos of the naked face's wife.

How wonderful! She's sexy as a big piece of cottage cheese, man.

"This will run in e-mails." "You did not say that."

But I'll send it to you.

Happy hour later?

No, I have to do some things with Rachel.

You're putting me off every day, man. What is going on?

Does she offer snacks for 50 cents and drink for two dollars?

It's not for nothing, but have you thought about what it will be like when you're married?

I'll tell you, I'm going to be that sad, lonely guy in the back of the bar.

But you, you're going to be like a dog on a leash, a perfect boss.

Camelish!

Yes?

Sadie is waiting.

It's ok.

Ben was a talented guy.

He had goals, dreams, desires.

But during the course, something... Something went wrong.

Did Sadie make a "toad"? Did?

Break a little.

Knead.

Are you letting Sadie eat grass again?

No, I would not do that, Miss. Watson.

How nice.

Now get out of here.

Pain and suffering are said to form great artists.

If this is true, Ben would be a Picasso.

Always drawing cute things for his girlfriend Rachel.

And your drawings? You never drew it again.

I drew something today.

It's my boss.

Here it is. Did you see the pentagram?

It represents her third chakra and that is my blood dripping from her teeth.

Now a little of the family history of the Camelinos.

Ben was eight years old when his father left.

Your mother faced the change very well.

Let's say that, after wasting ten years with that old man...

She was determined to make up for lost time.

Ben!

- This is Uncle Gama. - That's right.

And rhymes with "bed". That's where we should go.

Almost every night, there was a new male member of Ben's family...

in your home.

Had Uncle Adam.

Uncle Andy.

Uncle Arturo.

Uncle Al.

Uncle Antoine.

And the bizarre homeless pirate.

His mother must have thought that several fatherly fangs would make him feel better...

As to not having a real father.

But what counts is the intention, is not it?

Ben said most of them were pretty cool.

Although some have left the house smelling of coconut body oil.

But none has changed Ben's life, as did Uncle Sven.

You know what, Bill?

Ben.

Whatever.

Let me give you some advice.

If you want to attract the kitties, the dance floor is the perfect place for that.

Nothing is more provocative than a nice backside in action.

Understood?

But I'm allergic to cats, Uncle Sven.

Never mind.

Will you return my mother's panties?

Probably not.

Uncle Sven's words haunted his dreams.

And they could not stop thinking about that bow tie.

Sven!

Okay, he did not quite understand what Uncle Sven was saying.

But that was going to change one day.

- Hi love. - Hi.

I brought your favorite wine.

"And more porn bridal magazines." - Nice.

Ben, this is Clarissa, Kingsley Estates wedding planner.

Hi nice to meet you.

- Come, sit here. - What I lose?

Clarissa was telling me about the Rose Garden party.

Rose garden

It's perfect! It would be perfect.

Have you chosen the date yet?

Preferably in July of this year.

Unfortunately, there is no day available for next year.

Unless... There has just been a cancellation!

For three months from now, actually. How lucky.

The day is ours.

I think we should get to know the place first.

Do not you think that would be a good idea?

But someone can take that day between today and the day of your visit.

You do not want that, Ben.

We do not want this, Ben.

Then you can dial.

Thank you dear.

Well, what would be the price?

The Rose Garden accepts a minimum of two hundred guests, so...

I hope you have many friends.

As long as suppliers, 18% By service, taxes...

I would say...

49 thousand, 998 dollars.

It's possible, is not it?

It's less than 50 thousand.

It is not?

You will earn many miles...

On your credit card.

It's the Rose Garden.

The Rose Garden?

50 thousand dollars, man!

How are you going to do that, Ben?

I want to draw for comics.

You make a living out of it, do not you?

I'm kidding.

Do you think you would leave something so important in the hands of a scumbag like you?

Of course I'm going to marry the wedding.

Oh really?

Dad, thank you so much.

I do everything for my little girl and...

By my little girl's wedding.

What are we going to do?

Rachel's wedding. All fifty thousand dollars.

Only that? I would easily spend twice as much.

How nice.

As well? What?

I said I'd get ice.

I take.

It's on me.

The ice does not pay, idiot.

Why do not you both go?

It's funny how a person's life can change in an instant.

That's exactly what happened to Ben that night.

Thank you for offering to pay for the wedding, Mr. Matthews.

You're welcome.

I always thought she was going to marry Cole.

But life is full of disappointments. Right, Ben?

- Then... "Why do you still have this photo?"

Tell us more about your work.

I'm still in the T.I. department, still at Worldtec Worldwide.

What exactly does this company do?

The mission of the company is to seek opportunities for growth and profit...

In emerging markets, explore new financial paradigms and...

I guess I dozed off in the middle of that boring answer, Ben.

I've been a financial advisor for thirty years.

Ten hours a day, five days a week.

I only see numbers. Numbers about numbers, about numbers.

That's why I drink almost half a bottle of whiskey every night.

You know what helps me stay in the damn office?

Is there an open bar in the meeting room?

The notion of duty.

Of responsability.

I had a family to support, and soon you will have yours.

Is Rachel pregnant?

For God's sake, no.

I know you're young. Must have a lot of crazy dreams...

And must think, "I'm going to stay in this job until my rock band works out."

- I do not have... - Forget!

99.9% of Americans kill themselves from work from nine to five...

Five days a week, fifty weeks a year.

Why would it be different with you?

Would not be.

Exactly.

I'll wait in the car. Grab some lottery tickets on the way out.

It's ok.

BERNIE NILES, BEWARE OF THE DONOR

Hi, Bernie.

- It's the cleaning lady. - Yes.

Wait, listen, let's see if I get it, Matthews.

You already owe me two thousand dollars.

And now you want to borrow more?

50,000.

I thought, as I already owe you...

What would be another 50,000, would not it? But you know what?

Your help would be welcome now.

- I'm fiddling with the decor... - This here? Right.

- Just drag it over here. That. - Ready.

I just need to cover it up here.

What do we do? Uncoil this?

That. Pull that side, sing it too.

Open everything right. Great job.

Hello, Bernie!

Why are you tinkering with the decor now?

My friend Louie comes here.

Do I know this Louie?

Yes Yes... Say "hi" to Louie!

Bernie, Bernie! We can work this out.

- IT IS? "Well, we have a story.

Get up. I'm ashamed of you.

Let's go.

There you are. Finally it came.

You brought your accessories, that's good. Let's go.

I said, are you ready?

- Yes! "I did not listen, are you ready?"

That's it, girls. I'm Candy Lane, and I want to introduce you to...

The newest member of the Men's Dressing Room.

It's dark as bitter chocolate.

He really is. And it's light as a feather.

"Why those clothes?" - Clothes?

- The "Common Man" number. Good!

- I'm looking for Mr. Matthews. - Who?

The Ice Man!

Come on!

Oh yeah, it's the Ice Man's premiere. You better get ready.

Oh, it's his first!

He does not know what to do.

He's shy.

He's shy.

That's part of the show, is not it?

Oh, he looks like a baby. Anyone want to give this baby a chance?

Who wants to be his mom?

What are you doing standing there?

Can not you disguise this silly face?

No, Dad, it's okay.

I found "Ice Man," the new guy.

He's on stage now.

Excuse.

I'm Charlemagne.

I'm the Ice Man.

Sorry I'm late.

So who the hell is that idiot?

I have no idea.

He had sacks of ice.

Do you want to see ice bags?

"I'll show you an ice pack." - No.

- You want to see? - Please do not!

Take it all off!

He has a beautiful swaddle. Yes, he has.

He's going to show you his cock.

Move everything!

Take it all off!

Move it, you asshole!

Take it all off!

Take it all off!

Come closer!

In tennis, in tennis.

Why are you screaming so hard?

- Weird. "Yes, the great Chad is here. Not there.

He is good.

Yes yes I know.

That's why I brought him here.

You said you did not know him.

I know, I said. Because I did not want to influence you.

Yes I understand.

That's it!

A round of applause for the Ice Man!

Thanks for the encouragement, ma'am.

My name is Maureen.

I'll give you $ 300 if you lick me like a lollipop.

Thank you.

Excuse. I came here, and I want to receive.

I'll be in the dressing room. Go a little bit back, just a little.

Thank you.

This is Ben Camelino, my future son-in-law.

Ben volunteered to...

Pay my debt, doing your show for you.

- Do not know... "Bernie, did you hear the women down there?"

"They adored him. "Yes, they did.

"Yes, they did."

You will work from eight to midnight, from Tuesdays to Saturdays.

Thank you, Bernie. Leave it to me.

You have made the greatest success. They loved it.

There was one she really loved.

Listen, Ben. So it will be like this...

Every dollar you win, we'll deposit into an account...

An application, will be an investment.

With your talent and my financial knowledge...

We'll have 50 grand quick.

"I thought you already had the money." - I have. I have a lot of money.

But everything is invested. In insurance, and these things...

But it is not accessible, and I am experiencing difficulties now.

So...

I will not do that.

But it's not for me. It's for Rachel, you know?

And by marriage.

Okay, that you had agreed to pay.

By tradition, the father banks the marriage.

But reality is a little different now.

This is not happening.

This visit to the men's locker room also did not happen.

So let's see what we'll talk about before we head back home.

I'm not going to lie to Rachel, Matthews.

Ben, you're getting married.

You better get used to it.

We arrived.

- Where is everybody? - Thank you for forcing me to make room...

- to your customers all night. "We were dying of worry.

Ben, what happened?

We...

We spent in a bar...

To celebrate.

Celebrate? Celebrate what?

My promotion.

Have you been promoted?

So you're going to work a lot more now, are not you, Ben?

You're going to work late.

Come on, tell them everything.

The ice melted. - It's all right.

That's it!

A round of applause for the real Ice Man.

I know you want his warmth in the winter.

Did he charge extra for these breasts?

Hello, men.

See who's here. It must be amateur night again.

Good job there, Ice Man.

Thank you dear. I'm hot, do what?

You call it dance?

Even a manta tree has more graceful motions.

And to think that I left the Rancho dos Homens to work with you.

You're so finished.

Chad!

- Does anybody have scissors? - Give me back my hair.

Great Chad has an effect on people.

It's not his problem.

You.

Is that you. Noob.

Guess what. I need a partner, and I'll get in five minutes.

You just entered the university of "Chad-onomia".

Do you think you can handle it?

I have the answer for you.

No way.

I will not do it.

Ben, relax. Let's Chill.

- Please, can you stop? - It's ok.

You have to pretend you're a girl.

- Pretend I'm a girl? At least think like a girl.

You need to get in touch with your feminine side.

Women love to dance, they know the movements.

They know how to drive heterosexual men and lesbians.

You need to connect with your inner vagina.

What are you going to do with it?

I'm doing this for a reason.

To have inspiration.

"Then it rages." "All right, girls!"

Who is ready to take part in the show?

The lucky one is the future bride, Jessica Smith of Reseda!

You can sit. Are you ready to be saved, my dear?

And I'm not talking about church, I'm talking about our firefighters.

Applause for Chad!

And the newest member of the Men's Locker Room.

- The Common Man. - Delicious!

Jessica, Jessica!

Never again steal my attention.

You're just mad because she thought I kissed well.

Shut your mouth.

Rachel always said that I kissed well. Whenever... Oh!

It is hot here.

I'm so wet, who's wet?

Did you hear their screams, Ben? How much do we earn?

159 dollars in three minutes of work.

I feel like a crack dealer.

Thank you.

Great work, kid.

Chad better be careful if he wants to remain number one here.

There's only room for a "number one" here, "Common Nerd."

So it's best to learn to count to two.

Old rascal, Big Chad does not have to know how to count.

Do you think it's good enough to beat the "Strip-potato"?

"Strip-potato" what?

Strip-pa-pa-luza.

It's just the biggest event there is for male strippers.

That's right.

And I already have champion "c" in the name. "Chad."

Some letters change, I have the name of champion.

Yes, you can.

His name also has "c" as a pity.

Are you?

- $ 69 thousand. - No!

Ben...

- No! "We would pay the whole wedding..."

- with the money of this prize. "That's a great idea, Matthews.

Let's appear on national network, who knows Rachel does not see.

Well, the cake will cost two thousand dollars.

Is playing?

Is it covered in gold or something?

It has four floors.

Can not cut down to two floors, and make everyone eat less?

Jack, people today get married once, or twice. Three at the most.

But we want Rachel to have the perfect marriage, at least the first one.

Now, I want you to listen to the band we chose.

In fact, it's a well-known orchestra, they're incredible.

Listen.

You know I love it.

You're coming close to my sleeping dragon.

If I wake you up, I will not take responsibility for your actions.

- Need some help, pal? "I do not have to, Chad.

It does not cost me anything, really.

You do well to lift weight.

The girls love men who are tame.

Men like Big Chad.

Do you know what Grand Chad loves?

Money.

And when someone takes the money that should be from Great Chad, he gets angry.

And then, he takes revenge.

Who's your helper now?

I think somebody needs to feel Chad's weight.

Who's the helper now?

This was good.

What was I doing?

Hi, red alert.

Really?

Do not leave here.

You can assume. I'll be right back.

My God!

Jesus! Wait, do not move.

I'm going.

Are you alright?

Wow, there's a...

Chad attacked again, did not he?

Do what, do not you?

Tear his balls off with a bite.

It's an option. Not mine.

He does this to all newbies.

Even with you?

No, I asked him to do it on me.

But you did not ask.

So you can not stand there, you need to stand, defend yourself.

It's like that guy said, you must be the change you want for the world.

In fact, that makes a lot of sense.

Do it?

I do not know what that means I said.

So, Ben, do not be mean.

Well, I need to make money.

Goodbye.

Change.

Do you always come to this bank? It's my first day as a cashier.

I can make a deposit... Or you can make a serve.

Hi, girls!

I was just exercising.

How long have I been in the zoo? Why the question?

The anaconda?

She's staying in the cage.

I am alone and you are in two. How about we get together?

It's a puppy snake now, but it grows.

Enough!

- Hi. - Hi.

You're home early.

What are you doing?

I was doing...

yoga.

How nice.

Did you notice that your bottom is swallowing your underwear?

Yes. This happens whenever I do the dog looking down.

It's ok.

I saw you on the stage earlier. Do you want to go out with me when you finish your shift?

I can not. I am committed.

- I'm sorry. - Great thing, me too.

Come on, do not be afraid.

What is the problem?

I'm just doing this to pay for my wedding.

I promised my fiancee the wedding of her dreams, so...

- How cute. "Love makes us do these things.

How cute.

Thank you.

Not bad.

Nor take your clothes off for that.

I do not understand, man. Because I?

Excuse me Miss.

You're in time to help with a dilemma, which we're having here.

Can you explain what attracts him?

In fact, you remind me of my favorite nephew.

Except when you swing your papers in my face, of course.

These cowboys want to give you a ride.

But he has no bull.

Receive Big Chad!

Hi, cowboy!

Let me pull the trigger!

You need to take out money. You need to make lots of money.

Why does Chad get all that money, and you do not?

He is muscular, even his nipples are firm.

His brain is the size of a peanut, but it has self-esteem.

He knows who he is.

He believes in himself, and it shows.

You need to be more like Chad.

He's an outlaw. Applause!

How about a walk to the barn? Do not you think it's a good one?

Now, for every woman who has ever wanted to see a man looking at her thighs...

Trevor and Oleg!

The first thing they look at is our thigh. Is not it?

Wow! This this.

Hell, he's got a big deal.

I already know. I already know!

It is called "search for signs".

When I was your age...

I was in doubt of what to do in life, and a great friend of mine said...

"Go into the desert, let the earth speak to you...

Learn his teachings and meet. "

Sounds like the dumbest idea I've ever heard.

That's right.

I'm in. A thousand dollars on the winning horse.

The Lucky Jones in fifth.

Thank you.

What's up...

Is the earth already talking to you, Ben?

Do not.

At least here is beautiful.

We end up forgetting about the problems.

We see that we are an insignificant speck near Mother Nature.

You know?

Matthews?

Matthews?

Where are you going?

Come back here!

Come back!

Damn it!

The earth is talking to me.

And you know what she's saying?

"Ben, your future father-in-law is an insensitive, selfish son of a bitch."

It's no joke. Can you come back and get me?

Please?

Damn it.

Matthews...

Who are you?

My name is Belthagor.

Here, you better take something, buddy. You need to stay hydrated here.

Do you know what your problem is, Ben?

The fact that you know my name?

This business is very good.

What is?

Homemade agave-blue tequila.

It distorts reality.

IT IS.

Trouble is, you're just a fucking dork.

You are a slave to the system, and you are too afraid to be free.

You gotta break the chains, man.

It's like I used to say when I was in the Air Force.

Honor your balls, man.

- Honor your balls. - Honor your balls.

Were you in the Air Force?

Did they let you fly a plane?

Face...

Yes.

And I'll tell you... I think...

There's someone in that trailer who would love to have a talk with you.

Ben?

Hi.

Hi you and...

I but...

child.

Do not. You are me, but old.

- This is weird. - I know.

We need to talk about some things.

What kind of things?

That dance toss. You need to relax, man.

Let go. Relaxes the sphincter a little.

How is it?

You're very tense. Too worried about playing the fool.

Who cares? People already think you're an idiot.

- Really? "You have to go forward."

Work like you do not need the money...

Love like you've never hurt yourself and dance like no one's watching.

- Maybe I'm right... Of course I'm right.

Rachel's betting on you, man. She's betting on people.

And I still do not even like girls.

I would do anything for Rachel.

I know I would.

She's everything to me.

Did you see the samurai sword? It's so cool.

Of course you did.

No one knows exactly what happened that day in the desert.

If it was a dream, if it was real...

And what does it matter?

The important thing is that Ben was another man.

Matthews was right. Ben found himself.

Although not everyone shaves the bag after meeting...

But Ben was a man with a mission.

Turbinem your engines because he is a very bad boy.

Exclusively in the Men's Dressing Room, the Common Man.

I love you.

Look here.

Thank you thank you.

I love the Common Man.

- Great, let's applaud the Common Man. - Thank you.

That's right, he's like our neighbor, he wants to trim his grass.

- I think I made a monster. "I did not know you could do that."

It even gives fear.

- What did you think? "My God, just like Chad.

Good boy.

Matthews, that's it. Thanks boy.

ORDINARY GUY

Everyone is looking around...

Trying to figure out what's going on.

And then, a nun, look at your shoe, and say: "Holy shit!".

Okay, you do not understand that kind of joke, forget it.

Okay, not everyone understands...

Dude, that's great. They are looking brazenly at me.

I'm being eaten with my eyes by these girls.

Girls, what's up?

We know you. "

You are the Common Man.

Can you give us an autograph?

In this place?

That's chest.

Another.

- Downstairs. - IT IS.

Gee, life.

Can I autograph, too?

In your dreams, crazy.

He's so hairy.

What the hell was that, man? I think I missed something here.

What are you doing tonight?

Let's swim naked with the Common Man!

Thank you.

Oh my!

We need to cool our heads in that pool.

Finish him! Come on. He is one of the good guys.

You are wet? I'm. Come, my dear.

Now on stage, another girl who wants to rip off her panties because of...

Of the Common Man.

Because he also delivers pizza with extra calabresa.

Good evening.

Damn it!

Get out of the car, Maureen.

$ 500 for you to beat me up like a high school girl.

This is against the rules of the house.

We're not in the house anymore, loverboy.

A thousand dollars and I ride on you like a pogo stick.

Good night, Maureen.

At least let me have it.

Do not touch it. This is very important to me.

Do not touch. Get out.

Get out.

Thank you.

Good night, Maureen.

Someone is brave today.

I'll keep this.

Crazy.

Hi love.

Hi.

How was your day?

Mine was long.

I love you.

Are you sure about that?

I love you. Take off my socks?

Common Man, I was thinking.

What do you think about taking on the main show on Friday night?

I do not know, Mr. Niles.

You are kidding? There's a lot of money rolling on Friday.

Look, it's best to work when women are drunk,

And believe me, they're never drunker than they are on Friday.

But what about Chad? Is not it his turn?

Yeah, yeah, Chad...

Chad is good...

But his presentations are outdated.

You know, no one can be number one forever, can you?

It is not? Is not it, man?

You're Justin Timberlake, and he's Village People.

- Is that right, Niles? - Great Chad!

You can pick up your Friday, and stick to that place.

Wait, wait. Please, Chad. Listen. Excuse me.

You're going to have a bath in the mud and you were the chosen one, my friend.

Remember what I said.

Ben was radiant, successful, handsome... I almost wanted to sleep with him.

The problem was he was still feeling the pressure of marriage.

You like them? Wedding invitation samples.

"Why did you get so many of them?" - I'm trying to do everything right.

I'm struggling and no one is watching the stress I'm going through.

And why, why are you covering your nipples with the towel?

It was cold in the bathroom.

And Rachel is smart. She was beginning to suspect something.

Is there a problem, dear?

Yeah, it's Ben.

There's something going on, and I do not know what it is.

He's been a long way away lately. You know, we do not talk anymore.

We do not...

You do not?

No we do not...

Welcome to my world.

I thought he was happy, you know? I'm happy.

No one ever made me feel the way Ben makes me.

And that other boy?

You know the one your father wanted as a man.

Cole? You are kidding?

Cole was cool, but he never made me laugh the way Ben does.

Why did you break up with him?

Because he cheated on me with my best friend.

Really.

Maybe you should call him.

The case between the two may be over.

I do not want Cole, Mother. I want Ben.

What if he does not want to get married any more? I can not make him marry me.

Yes you can. Of course you can. That's what therapists are for.

And my friend Grace happens to have a great therapist.

This is not the problem.

Well, things have improved.

Our wedding will be in less than a month.

We've been feeling a bit stressed, but have some other problem with Ben...

He walks very far, but he does not tell me what he's thinking.

That's why I'm here. Right, Ben?

I'd like to talk to each one separately.

Do you mind, Rachel? Could you come out for a bit, please?

- No, no problem. - I think I could stay here...

Rachel, do not...

My God.

Sure enough, Ben, there's a kind of abandonment here.

"Maureen, what are you doing?" - I think we need to talk...

About it face to face.

That is not necessary, Maureen. Really.

What is it? Am I not attractive enough?

You're very attractive, it's...

"Is my ass too flaccid?" "No, he's very tough, you see.

And my breasts?

Are not they big enough for you?

Please.

What's it? What did you say, Ben?

It hurts, it hurts. Enough, Maureen, Maureen.

"Can you imagine what you can do to me?" "I do not want to imagine.

- Come on, Ben! "I do not want to imagine.

That. My God!

Ben!

Is ready? Let's go.

We'll be fine.

Camelino, already prepared everything for the presentation in power point...

In the meeting with the executives?

We are trying, but it looks like the projector...

So, be quicker. The meeting is in ten minutes. Not eleven, ten.

Jesus, what a nightmare.

Ben, I've been looking for you everywhere.

- But what? "So this is where magic happens."

What are you doing here?

We need to talk. Do you have a second?

I Do not...

I do not have.

Can you handle it?

What happened, what happened?

You need to quit your job here.

Why would he do that?

Because you're a money-making machine, my friend.

We need to think high, and take care of your marketing.

We need to create the Common Man brand.

You know, you need to get out of nightclubs, go to birthday parties, bat mitzvahs.

Wait, why are you saying "we"?

Well, we're partners. We are not?

Matthews, something's happened and you're hiding.

All right, right.

Promise you will not freak out?

Of course.

Right.

I lost all our money, Ben.

Really?

How do you do that, Matthews?

Well, it was a card game.

Cards game?

What happened to the application, and that big investment?

And with "I have a plan". What happened?

I thought this would be a safe investment in the short term.

I had the best cards in the deck.

Do you know the probability that the other guy has better cards?

It was one in a million. Very rare.

I should not have bet everything, I'm sorry.

But I can change everything in a snap.

Face!

A help goes well!

Wait, Ben. I lost my car too.

I know, I'm not on a good day. And I got a cab here...

It was expensive, and I do not have enough money...

What is it? A bus? What madness. A bus.

Faster, Camelino.

I'll be right there.

I tried to distract them, but they are not meant to be a joke.

Okay, maybe it will work.

Damn it.

See? What did I say? You are a slave to the system.

You're such a shame, Camelino.

Camelish?

- Camelino! - What is it?

- What's it? "Never talk to me like that again.

In fact, never speak to me again, unless I tell you to. Do you understand?

Can he answer that, or is he already worth it now?

You, shut up.

You're nothing, Camelino.

You say you're the guy from T. I?

But I'll tell you what your "T.I." means.

"Totally Stupid."

My grandmother was braver than you.

I have news for you, Miss. Fool.

Look this!

Camelish! Get down.

I do not want.

- Do something. - He's doing well.

Monday to Friday, Monday to Friday!

Safety!

Camelish!

Come down, come down!

I'm going down, my love. I'm coming down!

It's conference time!

Listen to Miss. Everybody, folks. By the way, shut the fuck up!

You will not stop me. I am a free man.

You can not say goodbye, because I ask you to pay...

- I'm out of here. - Let's go.

I'm going to take this Chinese with me, dammit!

Let me go!

You have to admit, that was absolutely too much.

Only I found it?

What's it?

Chad, can we dance with you on the strip-luza?

You're kidding, are not you?

You are a complement, an accessory.

The strip-luza is serious. And the incredible Chad goes alone.

What, did not you like it? Well, what a shame.

Now, out, they're scaring me.

Hi, are you ok, you smell them?

Know what we'll find on the strip-luza tomorrow.

Happy?

Yes I am happy.

No, actually, I'm not.

That's it, Ben. I love men with self-confidence.

You can stop, I know, silly.

That $ 69,000 check already has a name, it's Big Chad. This is a fact.

Common Man, go to the stateroom, it's a bachelorette party.

STRIP-FOR-LIGHT, TOMORROW. GREAT AWARD OF 69 THOUSAND DOLLARS

Check out the material!

Who is this?

One second. Maureen, what do you want now?

Can not stop thinking about you.

You are in my dreams, in my fantasies.

Are you understanding me? You destroyed my life.

I tried to be polite.

You know?

Now I want you to stay very far from me.

I do not want you, and I never would...

Even if his pursued spit money like an ATM.

Persecuted?

I'll be right back, girls.

Do not touch it.

You mean like this?

- Maureen! - Hello delicious.

How kind of you, thank you. Congratulations and everything.

- Thanks. - Maureen! Guys, I'll be right back.

Maureen, you crazy nymphomaniac. Give it back here!

Gives it back!

Hi, do you want a ride?

Yes thanks.

Follow that bug there.

What's turning right.

Why do we have to follow that car? You were robbed?

Yeah, how do you know?

That always happens.

You should get a lot of girls in that car, right?

Not really.

What are you doing? She's moving away.

Let's lose it. Why are you stopping?

- What are you doing? "You're giving a hard one, how horny.

No! For!

Let me out of here. Not funny, unlock the door.

Kiss Me.

Let me out of here, you crazy man.

Good lady, where are you going? Come here.

Stopped! I said stopped!

We have a fugitive.

Get up, get up! Stand up.

Put your hands on your head. And separate your fingers.

- Already are. "Are you facing me?"

- No. "Take two steps back.

Let's go. Stop it.

Move your feet. Move farther.

Cross your feet.

- Come on, cross. Cross your feet.

Put your hands on your hips.

Hold your breath.

I've changed my mind, put your feet away.

Put your hands on your head. Stop it.

Get down. Touch your feet, man.

- Wow. - No, you can get up, get up!

Turn around.

"I'm sorry, I did not see the lights." - Right, right...

Seriously, I've never...

Be quiet.

It's tight.

Wow!

Let me see your wrist.

Honey, it's me again.

Where are you?

I'm starting to get worried.

Call me when you hear the message, okay?

I love you.

There's no sound here.

We can create one.

- Let's show him. - Yes.

- We will see? "Do you want to be the jerk or the prostitute?"

I'll be the pervert.

Come on.

How much do you charge per hour, precious?

$ 50. Discounted for seniors.

That... That...

No, no. No!

- I can not. "It's too big for my mouth."

Wow, it was very good. And it was fast.

See?

Quiet.

- It's not funny. - I know.

So how about this proof?

He offered me a ride.

- You are disgusting. - Really.

"And why the silver floss?" "That's not what they're thinking.

- It is not? - So what is it?

"Look, if you-" - Seated.

It's ok.

It's that if you turn the image, you will see that I was trying...

- Trying what? - Unlock the door.

With that floss?

I know what it looks like, but I can guarantee things that have not happened.

He did not have oral sex.

He touched me...

We can start over?

Do you want to hear again? All right, come on.

- No, do not tape it... - Let's go again. Want it again?

"I want to be the prostitute now. - The prostitute?

- I want! - All right, let's get it over with.

- OK. "Do you have sex with singles?"

I accept meal worth too, I'm a cheap prostitute.

- I give the money back because I'm ugly. - Cheap prostitute.

Something terrible happened.

Honey, stop worrying. He's an adult. You must be fine.

He never did this before, he, he...

He never stayed out until so late, let alone without calling.

Rachel.

It's Ben. Ben, where the hell are you? We spent the night in the clear.

Stuck? Because?

Did you say "male prostitution"?

Seriously, Spider-Man...

I'm flattered that I found my mouth beautiful. Oh really.

I can make you very happy.

I think you should think straight.

VALLEY DEPARTMENT OF POLICE

I think I owe you an explanation.

Please, do not be like this.

Rachel, I love you.

Love? Do not talk to me about love, our love is really a farce.

What you mean?

I do not know, maybe because you're out on the street, selling your body in the middle of the night.

- It could have something to do with it. "It's not what you're thinking."

Well, you were not collecting donations for the church.

Mom, please. This is none of your business.

Not my business?

In the last six weeks, I'm killing myself to help organize...

The marriage for you, and the Mister Universe.

Of course it's my business.

Marriage is not going to happen, for sure.

Rachel...

You do not even know what I'm doing. I'm doing it for you...

I do not want to hear. I do not want to hear any more and you, enough.

I loved you, Ben.

I trusted you.

That's what I deserve for being so dumb.

- Yes, it is. "Be still, Mother!

Stop the car. Now.

Is a good idea. Let's stop and calm down.

Get out.

What?

Rachel.

You leave.

This car belongs to my mother.

It's ok. I leave.

I came here to pay Ben Camelino's bail.

This name is not strange to me.

The deep throat.

I can not.

He already was.

It's over?

Did he stretch his shins?

What did you say? If he "stretched out the shins"?

I have not heard that since the seventies.

Nobody else stretches the shins, is to beat the boots, to close the jacket.

Someone has already bailed him out. Now get out of here.

Thank you.

- And without running in the lobby. - OK.

Where's Ben?

What does it matter?

He must have told her everything.

It is in the face what is happening.

Honey, I'm sorry.

It's all my fault.

What?

What do you mean, it's all your fault?

I made him do it.

I know, it was a bad idea, but what can I say?

Ben was good.

"Was he good?" - Actually, he was great.

How do you know?

Well, I watched him every night.

I am gonna puke.

It was not so bad. I even learned a few things.

Ben has been innovating and getting better and better. It was incredible.

And so someone needed to take care of the money.

Oh my God, and we were making some fucking money.

Wait, you were his pimp?

No, I prefer the term "business administrator."

This story is getting worse.

Look, my dear, I do not know if it makes any difference to you, but...

He presented himself mainly to women.

Mainly?

Well, sometimes there were gay men.

How nice. I'm glad he's had more sex with strange women...

Than with men.

Who mentioned the word "sex"?

Sex tends to be a very important part of prostitution, do not you think?

Okay, let's recapitulate this conversation.

And when the black thing, who do you call?

For your best friend in the world.

What are you going to do now?

The suitcases, I guess.

Are you done? Really?

I think being arrested for male prostitution ends up with anything.

Find another woman. Come on, it's okay.

You are living a dream. You are the "Common Man".

The girls are coming, asking to sign their breasts...

And other parts.

I do not even know why I'm sorry for you, really. Neither should be, you know?

Yeah. Thanks for looking for me, Lewis.

You want company, man?

Dancer in the night?

Yeah, I wanted you to marry a lawyer, but...

How did you let that happen, Jack? How can you lie to us?

I did not lie to you.

I just omitted the truth.

Why would you make him a stripper?

That's a good question. You'd better prepare for an answer.

I can not find my vitamins.

The pills are in the drawer.

How am I supposed to say this delicately?

We're broken.

- What? - Wait, what broke?

No, honey, we're broke.

Broken?

I mean, no money?

Not a penny. But at least we have each other, do not we?

We had a letter up our sleeve.

Ben was going to beat the Strip-pope, and...

She was going to pay for the wedding. Everything was going to work out in the end.

Strip-papa what?

It is the largest men's strippers competition in the country and...

Well, it's an event broadcast live on tv.

Was Ben going to be naked on TV?

No, Ben was going to stay on the television.

My God.

Honey, do not blame Ben for it.

Please. It was all my fault.

And he was doing everything for you.

All he wanted was to give her the wedding of his dreams. AND...

me too.

Would Ben do it for me?

Yes, he would.

Now that I know you well, I think I would do almost everything for you.

He loves you, Rachel.

I could not expect anything from a son-in-law.

What time would he introduce himself?

In just over an hour.

STRIP-PAPA-LUZA

Twenty years, five hundred cans of laquê...

Four thousand gallons of depilatory wax...

And millions of women excited all over the world.

The national association of male strippers...

Proudly presents the Twenty-Twenty-Strip Strip.

Ben, my dad told me everything.

About the money, the striptease, everything.

I'm so sorry, okay, I...

Ben, stop.

The fact of being at night, stripping to make money...

For the wedding, doing this for me...

It makes me the luckiest woman in the world.

Really?

I love you so much, Ben Camelino.

I love you too, Rachel Matthews.

Camelish.

Well, I think it's time for Lewis Gardner to drop out...

Before rolling the sex of reconciliation.

Not yet.

Ben shows up in 20 minutes, and I will not miss a chance to see him dancing...

In front of a lot of hysterical women.

Are you sure about that?

You'll freak out when you see my footsteps.

I'm like a ninja on stage.

- Let's go. - Thank you.

And now, the man who has never seen a mirror without falling in love, Chad!

Okay, where the hell are they? Put the matter up in a cafe?

And on stage, coming from Australia, here he is, bouncing kangaroo Jack!

Will be cool. What fantasy am I going to use?

Wear what you are wearing, you will even take off.

That's what I like.

Common man, you're next.

Excuse me sir.

Yes?

The Common Man has not arrived yet.

Could he wait a few minutes for him?

Why do not you go there on stage and talk to a full studio...

Of excited women, that we will interrupt the show...

Because of an idiot who does not know how to see the time. Great.

Why talk like this?

The wave of love coming from Tokyo. Please receive...

The great Tsunami!

Jack, do something.

"You have to take action, save time for them." "And how am I going to do that?"

I ask. You are the king of lies.

That's not my problem.

It's your problem, yes. This whole ridiculous situation is a problem all yours, Jack.

Stop taking your body off.

Be a man.

You're absolutely right.

I hope you're not running away, Jack Matthews.

- What are you doing? - Dude, I was gonna wear this tomorrow.

Improvising. Attention with the road.

Ladies, there was a change in the program.

But you will love it.

Receive the "99 cents".

What's up, DJ?

Passing. Go! Go! Go.

What's up, girls?

Uncle Sven?

Bill?

It's Ben.

You will not introduce yourself, will you?

No, I created the strip-luza-pope. And I got rich.

You remember my mother, do not you?

How could I forget? She taught me things, which I did not even know existed.

Has she ever shown the videos we did together?

I saw your performance unintentionally, you were great.

Thank you. What are you doing here?

Introducing myself

Wonder.

Thanks!

I just wanted to say that you always made me feel, as if I had a father.

It's ok.

Interval, call the interval.

It's my husband.

Cut, cut!

Girls, please.

Thank you girls. And now, I want lots of applause...

For the unique and exclusive Common Man!

I love you. Oh my!

Ladies, control yourself!

Let me go, let me go!

Stay tuned. After the break...

Let's announce the winner of the twentieth strip-potato-luza.

Thank you so much guys.

Please thank you.

I want to thank all the competitors, for this beautiful night we had, is not it?

Applause for them. That's right, they were phenomenal.

And now we're going to announce our winner.

Come on.

The Ice Man and the Ice Creams. That's it!

That's it. Congratulations.

Very well.

Congratulations. Guys, lots of applause!

My love, you were incredible.

I know. Not incredible enough to win, but he deserved it.

Life is like this.

Ben did not earn the money...

But the most important thing is that he won the heart of Rachel.

But look at the situation...

She's going to marry a guy who was once a stripper.

It will shake their room a lot.

I do not want a fancy wedding.

I was thrilled with magazines, and TV shows...

And I believed all the crap I read about having a perfect marriage.

Ben, Ben. I do not believe. Is not fair.

I can not believe you did not win. These people should be sued.

- It was very stolen. - Jack, relax.

I do not want you to have a heart attack and die...

Now that I found you attractive for the first time in ten years.

Really?

How did this happen?

Was it the robot, like this?

- Enough, can we go? - Yes.

- Let's go. - Let's go.

Thanks for everything, Matthews.

It's Mr. Matthews.

Just kidding me, call me "dad."

There is not much to talk about now.

Mr. Matthews decided to go after his dreams...

And retired from the career of financial adviser.

Now he's a pro player.

The table is mine.

Damn it!

MS. Watson was fired after a day of drinking...

In which he sent an email to the whole company...

With a photo of our naked president attached.

That's my story, and I'll keep it to the end.

And you must be wondering...

What happened to that sexy, sexy man named Lewis Gardner.

And Ben Camelino...

He began to devote himself to his drawings.

There's a lot of people behind him because of a comic book...

Which he wrote called "Common Man."

They're even talking about making a movie about him. How Hollywood is ridiculous.

And by the way, Ben and Rachel found a way to pay for the wedding.

So, by the power granted to me by the state of California...

By the men's dressing room and the guy up there...

I declare you husband and wife. You can kiss the bride, you lucky bastard.