Original subtitles

You know, boys join French classes to flirt with girls.

But our boy Gautam actually went there to study French.

[speaking French]

"Which platform does the train leave from?"

[speaking French]

Hi.

-Hi. -Any problem?

No, why?

You're cussing so profusely, I thought something is bothering you.

Oh, no, no, I was just practising.

Okay.

I feel one should know how to cuss in every language.

[cussing in French]

Helps in getting rid of the loafers, you see.

Free advice.

-She's perfect for him. -I swear.

She's bound to bring some fun into his life.

What about you?

What about me?

Why are you learning French?

I work for the IFS, Indian Foreign Services.

I thought they'd send me to Europe if I have French on my resume.

Okay.

Yeah, that's the plan.

Yeah.

Oh, so you're the guy who plans.

Why? Is that a crime?

No, no, no!

Me, no plan. Never.

You know he's so bad at flirting,

he always ends up getting friend-zoned.

Want to go out with me for coffee?

Actually, scratch that, want to go out with me for dinner?

Sure.

Is this invitation only for me,

or is it extended to my boyfriend, Ketan, as well?

[speaking French]

But when they are together, they are so good.

Did we see this day coming? Not even in our dreams.

"My beloved is my wealth"

"My beloved is my downfall"

"The love we share Bears witness to that"

"My beloved is my wealth"

"My beloved is my downfall"

"The love we share Bears witness to that"

"You are the reason"

"I am the happiest man In the world"

"Oh, God I couldn't have asked for me"

"My love"

"I pray for your long life"

"I want you to be My lawfully wedded wife"

"My darling"

"I pray for your long life"

"I want you to be My lawfully wedded wife"

"May you be blessed With prosperity"

"May you always keep glowing With happiness"

"May your bangles never lose shine"

"May God keep you away from evil"

-This is such a sissy drink. -I don't want a cold drink.

-Vodka, please. -Give me the expensive stuff.

The most expensive one.

-Double large. -Fill it to the brim.

Excuse me, everyone.

-Can I have your attention, please? -Black. Black.

-Double black. -A glass of Black as well.

Actually, all the men in my family believe in romance.

You know, they are really romantic.

In 1949, a gypsy lady showed my grandpa a simple ring

-in a Turkish market and said... -You're interested in his speech?

..."It's a ruh muska.

"You know, it's a soul compass?

"Any man in possession of this ring will meet his dream girl."

Yes, she said that.

You're listening to this, seriously?

In 1977, Grandma gave that ring to Dad.

Back then, Dad was posted in Singapore.

That's where he met my mom, Sona.

So, it was really working.

We'll get caught.

-About a year ago... -It's expensive stuff. Stop it, Pinky.

-...my mom gave me that ring... -We'll get caught.

...and said, "Gautam, this ring really works. It's really magical."

At that point, I thought mom was just really being silly.

But...

one day...

like a breath of fresh air, I meet a girl.

That's the day I realised...

that this ring has still not lost its magic.

Ira.

This ring has your name written all over it.

Would you do me the honour of wearing it?

Clap, guys.

Ira, if we hadn't met in London,

we would've met in Paris.

If not Paris, then Amsterdam.

Ira, I'd have found you in any corner of the world,

be it a village, town or city...

because you are my destiny.

I really love you, Ira.

I love you too, Gautam.

Can I have some ice, bro?

What do you want to drink, Jaggi?

Well said, bro! Superb!

-Shush, it's a biggie's wedding. -Well said, bro.

-What are you doing, Jaggi? -Give me a second. Bro, you've...

-He'll get us killed. Bloody idiot. -Look over there.

You've touched my heart, bro.

-Congratulations. -Thank you so much.

You are one lucky girl.

He's a gem of a person.

That's okay. You don't need to do this.

I usually don't have more than one drink, bro.

But since this is a family wedding,

with your permission, may I have one more?

Sure, please.

-Congratulations. -Thank you so much.

Bye. Enjoy.

Sure.

Funny guy.

You didn't introduce us, Ira.

I thought he's one of your relatives.

I'll just go and check.

Look, Mr. Chaudhary, this is the kind of love I seek.

There's something called as Double Black as well?

-Let me drink. -Will you...

One should love, marry and grow old with the same woman.

-What's going on? -I'm in love with four.

-No! This is wrong. -God knows.

-I love every girl I see. -Excuse me?

Excuse me?

Whose side are you from?

Me? I am from my side.

His side!

But...

I am Jaggi, Joginder.

-This is Rane. That's Pinky. -Nice wedding.

You guys think that's funny?

Who invited you guys?

-We-- -God invites us all into this world.

What can we do?

What can we do but enjoy our drinks!

He is drunk, bro.

He's a lightweight.

Whom are you calling, sir?

You all will get sober once the police get here.

Police!

Calling the police won't do you any good, bro.

Who will be on duty at this hour?

-Bhishma. -Bhishma.

Bro, if Bhishma comes here, I'll want four bottles from you.

-We just need one. -He's a drunk, bro.

Where's the organiser?

There's a boy's hostel next door, sir.

They gatecrash every wedding.

-Hey! -Please keep quiet.

-I gave you 500 bucks. -Buzz off before I smash your face.

Sorry, bro.

Sorry. I apologise.

Don't let this ruin your mood.

It's your wedding.

You gave such a beautiful speech for your wife.

As far as compensating for these drinks is concerned,

you can come to my wedding and have as many drinks as you want.

Imported liquor.

-Just get them out of this place. -Please leave.

-This is... imported liquor. -Come on.

-You are invited as well. Promise. -We are leaving.

Don't touch. Don't touch!

Come on, let's just go back now.

Hey! I am Pinky Singh.

I'll see you outside. I'll hit you with a hockey stick.

"I'd find you from any corner of the world.

"If we hadn't met in the village, we would've met in the city.

"If not Ludhiana then Bathinda, Amritsar, Sangrur,

"Gujarat, Kerala or someplace else...

"because you are my destiny."

What he said is just perfect. Bang on target.

His kick was also perfect, bang on target.

-Ruined the mood. -Where can we find some ice, bro?

-Ruined the high. -Someone please find me some ice.

This was the first time I had expensive liquor.

You.

Throw passport, IDs, come on.

Nazir...

[in Pashto] Check him properly. His clothes too.

Remove it.

You have a tag here as well.

Throw that as well.

What are you doing? Remove that as well.

Listen,

get rid of anything that will tell them where you are from.

This doesn't tell anything.

Just fold it and hide it in your shoes.

Your family sent you here all by yourself?

There is no one else left.

The bombings... razed everything to the ground.

What will you do in London?

My cousin lives there.

Really?

In London?

How did he get there?

He went there five years ago, holding on to a plane's tyre.

It's not as easy as holding on to a cycle or a bus's tyre.

Planes tyres retract after take-off.

I know.

There is some space next to the tyre.

That's where he hid.

He was almost frozen to death, but he's okay now.

He works in a restaurant.

He told me that he'll help me get settled there.

Where are you going?

London.

Do you too have someone there?

Yes, I do.

I'll surely introduce them to you one day.

You can treat us in your restaurant.

Light off.

Now check post.

Border.

When I press horn, you wear this over head.

Okay.

-No breathing. -Okay.

Checking machine.

Machine, yeah? Checking.

If you get caught, I don't know you.

Okay?

I can't do this.

Hey, it's nothing, Bilal.

I cannot do it.

Bilal, it will only take two minutes, okay?

Once we cross the border and enter UK,

you will get to be with your brother.

Right?

[speaking French]

[speaking French]

Don't move! Freeze!

Don't move! Hands up! Don't move!

Don't shoot!

No.

Bonjour.

-[speaking French] -Sir. Sir, please.

-[speaking French] -Please, sir. I want to...

Sir, help. Help. Help.

-Bonjour, Gautam. -Bonjour.

They've been well-coached. No identification.

Refuse to say a word except "asylum."

Qadri has figured his Pakistani lot out.

Would really appreciate if you could check your Indian illegals.

Yes.

What village are you from?

What is your father's name?

Asylum.

What is your mother's name?

Asylum.

[speaking Pashto]

-Asylum. -[speaking Arabic]

-Asylum. -[speaking Arabic]

Hello?

[speaking Arabic]

Asylum.

You are definitely not from Afghanistan or Syria.

Where are you from?

Where are you from?

India? Pakistan? Bangladesh? Where are you from?

Asylum.

Asylum.

Asy...

They are professionals. Get their blood test done.

-Bro? -Sure.

Bro!

Bro!

Bro, it's me, Jaggi.

We won't be able to help them.

Remember me? I had gatecrashed your wedding, caused a ruckus?

[speaking French]

They'll need to...

Come on, man!

"If not here, then there.

"Bathinda, Sangrur...

"London, Amsterdam?"

It's me.

So...

You have a habit of going to places uninvited.

You are making India proud.

Everyone has the same story.

Score low grades in school.

Drop out from college.

Gatecrash weddings.

Free booze.

Then start believing your family and friends don't get you.

"Let's go to the United States of America.

"United Kingdom."

Easy money, huh?

No, bro, you misunderstand. It's not so.

Let me tell you something.

To pay for high school,

I used to sell tea and biscuits at a small railway station in Punjab.

Of course without having the necessary permits.

Station Master Roshanlal used to say,

"Jaggi, you make tea better than those with permits."

My tea used to get sold out

even before the evening train would hit the station.

I used to make 500 bucks every day.

I could have made easy money there itself.

What an incredible achievement!

So, you have crossed the borders of eight nations to sell tea?

Or to clean the toilets of Europe?

Look, I meet losers like you every day.

No, bro, I am sure you have never come across anyone like me.

Bro, I am actually here because of what you said.

And as if fate had planned this, I found you here.

Because of what I said?

Yes!

Hey nice, Jaggi.

-Jaggi! Jaggi! Jaggi! -What?

Come here.

-You know what I saw? -What?

Mermaids in the swimming pool.

Trust me, beautiful fair-skinned girls swimming in skimpy costumes.

-Let's go enjoy the view, pretty please? -You get so excited over little things.

Please, let's go and enjoy the view.

-It will be fun. -Let's focus on the game.

You want to focus on the game?

If we play well here, we'll have a fixed spot in the Indian camp

Two years of hard work and we could be international players.

We'll be stars.

Parties, night clubs, beautiful babes--

This isn't cricket that you'll become a star.

You are a hockey player.

What makes you think there'll be parties, night clubs and babes?

Have you lost your mind?

At the most, you'll get a decent job

in the army or the railways, thanks to the sports quota.

Right. And you will get surely get to see girls but at the railway station.

Where you'll be wearing a black coat,

and holding a red flag in one hand and a green flag in the other.

He's talking nonsense.

You are right.

Jaggi, we should go enjoy the view.

Right? Let's get going immediately without wasting another minute.

Yes, let's leave before the coach comes.

-Let's go, let's go, let's go. -Hey, we'll be right back.

Let's go, let's go, let's go.

Take your mark.

They are quite fit.

No one's wearing a two-piece, dude!

I think I am in fairyland.

Control your lust, boys.

It should look like you do this every day.

Look natural. Just...

You're in sportswear, you fools. Put your feet down.

Come on! Look natural.

This is natural for me, Jaggi.

I have spent my childhood in the lake with the buffalos.

This is making my eyes well up.

Think beyond the buffaloes, Pinky.

Act like a dude.

They are fit.

Amazing.

That's one beautiful mermaid.

Where?

Damn, girl.

Jaggi?

She is so beautiful.

She is indeed a mermaid.

The one in pink?

She is coming this way.

-Yeah? -Yeah.

Oh.

Pinky!

Click a nice pic with her in the background.

Have you lost your mind? You'll get us killed.

Take this, duffer.

-It's just a photo. -My followers will die of jealousy.

Come on.

She is coming this way.

-Take a pose. -Done.

She's here. Hurry up.

Done.

Done.

One more. Ready.

Done.

-Did you click it? -Come on.

One more. Change.

-Done. I clicked it. -Done?

Done?

-How is it? -It's good.

Why were you flipping us the bird?

How is it?

Good enough for me. We can try again if you want.

Sure.

You want me to go back in, come out, give a Baywatch pose?

No, you don't need to go back in. You can walk through here again.

That would do the job.

Trust me, it will break the Internet.

What's going on?

You clicked my picture without my permission.

And you plan to post it?

What's your name?

Joginder Dhillon.

But I go by Jaggi Dil on social media.

Joginder Dhillon.

That's a better choice for court, right?

Perfect.

-Court? -Her dad will sue you in London.

Oh, I pity the state you'll end up in.

Not worth it, dude.

Delete the picture.

Don't post it even by mistake.

Do it now.

-By the way... -Do it.

...where do you get condoms your size?

Excuse me?

Because you're the biggest dick I've seen, dude.

Good one. Good one.

They your lackeys? Cute.

Why? Do you want to have lunch with them?

Ignore her.

We'll find another mermaid.

I can't ignore her, dude.

She just challenged me that too in her high-class English.

I will have to post it, Mr. Chaudhary.

What's that all about?

Hey, nice pic, babe.

Babe?

What an idiot!

Stop it.

Hello, boys.

-Hey, hey, hey! -Relax.

Who let them in?

-Damn it! Jaggi! -Stop hiding. Give me that.

You don't need that towel.

-Who let them in? -Turn around, princess.

Where is Jaspreet?

-Jaspreet! -Hi.

This is not right.

-You enjoy watching naked men? -Not fair.

They don't act this shy when they keep staring at us.

-Exactly. -No, no, no!

We feel shy.

Damn it!

This is not fair.

-What is going on? -Not fair.

Why are you feeling shy now?

Don't take the bag.

I'm warning you. I'll file a complaint against you.

Disappointing.

I'll...

-Hey! -You really need to stay without that.

No! Ma!

There you are.

You want to click my pictures?

Well, it's time to see your Baywatch pose now.

Do it right, then. Wait a second.

-Here. -Cool.

Sure. Okay.

Okay.

Hey, GQ. The GQ pose.

Come on, darling.

You'll run out of battery before I run out of poses.

Keep clicking.

Can you call Sunita from the archery team?

She should meet him.

She'll shoot the arrow in such a place--

That you'll have to take showers in the girls' locker room.

Really?

Then we'll get to meet every day.

Right?

Hey, what's wrong?

Fine. Don't forget to share the pictures.

I don't have any shirtless pictures anyway.

There is a great restaurant nearby.

Let's go there and gorge. You can eat whatever you want.

You are not going to get any medals anyway.

You might as well eat to your heart's content.

Look at your timings.

Niharika: 1 minute 11 seconds.

Anushka: 1 minute 13 seconds.

Kartika: 1 minute 6 seconds.

And Sheena: 1 minute 7 seconds.

Have you seen the timings of those girls from Bengal?

1.2.

What is going on? Are you here to pass time?

Dismissed. Go!

I'll practise more, sir.

Yeah. Fine.

Thank God. Babe, I gotta pee. I'll see you later.

Not now.

Why don't you go and watch some porn instead?

Excuse me!

I'm just here to say...

No use showing me your finger.

I am not going to put a ring on it.

I know you've seen me naked, but we hardly know each other.

Shameless.

I'll be damned.

You won't leave?

Cool. Be of some use.

Stopwatch's in the bag. Time me.

Show.

-Yeah? -Show.

Shit.

Still 2.25 seconds behind.

This is very bad.

How can you possibly get any better by tomorrow?

Thanks.

I have a solution.

You are overweight. You should reduce some weight.

Sorry?

What the hell did you just say?

You are overweight.

Asshole!

-Fucker! -Loser!

-Loafer! -Wait a second.

Why are you cussing him?

Just, man, moral support.

By the way, what did I miss?

I am in no mood to practise today.

-My stomach's upset. -Why? What did you eat?

Storm's approaching, Jaggi!

-Huh? -Storm.

Want me to join you?

Babe, I am here if you need me.

How dare you!

How dare I what?

How dare you say that!

What? Oh! About you being overweight?

You are overweight by 300 kilos.

300 kilos?

-What... what do you mean? -What... what...

Manipur's burdening this shoulder.

Kerala burdening that one.

Oh, you are carrying Punjab and Bengal on your back.

Tell me something, how do you manage to swim with all this burden?

What do you mean? What?

Look, it's quite simple.

This isn't a mathematics or statistics class.

0.3, 1.5, 2.9, so on and so forth.

Your only job when you are in water is to enjoy swimming.

Look, you used to swim well because you were happy in water.

You used to enjoy swimming.

I am a good player because I enjoy hockey.

Forget the pressure, the worry and timings.

You should forget about the competition.

Keep it in the back of your mind and not the forefront.

Relax, enjoy.

What's the worst that can happen?

You'll come in second or third? You are anyway coming second or third.

So, why not...

Give a free rein,

and then watch how your horse races ahead.

Mare. Whatever.

Got it?

I'm going back to practise now.

Let's go, let's go, let's go!

Swim like a fish, Kartika.

Swim like a...

Faster, Kartika.

You will have to swim, you know. No one's going to push you forward.

Faster, Kartika.

Kartika, giving your 100% isn't enough.

You need to give 101% to win.

Faster! Come on! We don't have time to waste.

Even I can do better than this. What are you doing, Kartika?

What?

Stop doing that. I am coming out.

What?

You're blind?

Can't you see that I'm doing my bloody best?

Got it.

What?

Sit.

Come on, sit down.

You cannot win like this, Kartika.

What do you mean?

I am your friend.

I have a plan.

I'll help you win. Trust me.

I'll break the legs of that Manipur girl.

I'll add laxative to that Bengal girl's breakfast.

I'll have the Kerala girl kidnapped.

You don't have to worry about a thing.

You call this your "bloody best"?

This is your "bloody best"? This!

You think I am doing this for myself?

Kartika...

you need to decide whether you want to be Nemo,

or the shark from Jaws?

Mr. Jaws of Jalandhar,

why don't you show me how it's done?

Stop seducing me.

Crazy woman!

I don't know how to swim.

Are you crazy? I can't swim.

-I am telling the truth. -I think he's drowning, dude.

Come on, Kartika. What are you doing?

-I can't swim. -Jaggi, stop overacting.

Crazy woman!

He seems like a method actor.

He can change his profession.

Shit!

Oh, shit!

-Go call Damle sir. -Yeah.

Just call the medic.

Jaggi?

Jaggi?

Jaggi?

Jaggi?

Jaggi?

Jaggi, okay?

You okay?

I'm... I'm so sorry. I...

You fine?

I... I literally had no idea.

I'm... I'm so sorry.

You kissed me.

What?

You kissed me.

I just gave you CPR.

You can call it whatever you want,

but, where I am from, we call that a kiss.

And from where I am, people like you are called fucking idiots.

I'll tell everyone that you kissed me.

I am doomed.

Just a sec.

Wait for a second.

Sorry.

Not cool, okay?

Fine. Sorry.

Let's go.

I'm not going anywhere.

"No distance, no boundaries"

"There are no limits When it comes to love"

"It is so overwhelming"

"The obsession never fades away"

"I cannot take it anymore I want to touch your soul"

"I cannot wait At the shore anymore"

"I am obsessed with you"

"This world is nothing without you"

"You ruin me"

"You complete me"

"Nothing's right or wrong anymore"

"Now that you are my soulmate"

"You ruin me"

"You complete me"

"Nothing's right or wrong anymore"

"Now that you are my soulmate"

1 minute 3 seconds.

This is your best timing so far.

Kartika, this timing can take you to the finals.

"Intoxicating Yes, intoxicating"

"Your eyes are intoxicating"

"I'll drown in them I'll surely drown in them"

"I'll never be able To resurface again"

"I have got hooked To a strange obsession this time"

"I keep chanting your name Day and night"

"I am obsessed with you"

-"This world is nothing without you" -Come on, faster.

You are not Nemo! You are a shark!

"You ruin me"

"You complete me"

"Nothing's right or wrong anymore"

"Now that you are my soulmate"

"You ruin me"

"You complete me"

"Nothing's right or wrong anymore"

"Now that you are my soulmate"

"You ruin me"

"You complete me"

"Nothing's right..."

Here's your room.

Bye.

Bye.

Now that's what you call a kiss.

Your flight just landed, Uncle?

She's not answering your call?

Oh, yeah, yeah, Uncle. She was practising all night.

Yeah. Hard-core practice.

Lap after lap after lap after lap...

Very dedicated, Uncle.

She trains till late.

Shit.

Uncle...

No, she's in the washroom.

I'll have her call you back?

Sure, Uncle.

Yeah, yeah, sure.

Come on, come on, come on, Kartika. Come on.

Come on, Kartika! Come on.

Go for it, mermaid!

Go, go, go.

Yes, yes, yes. Come on!

Go, go, go! Hold this.

Come on, come on, Kartika. Come on.

Who is he?

Go, Kartika! Come on!

-Come on! -Yes!

Go for it.

Come on, Kartika!

-Come on. -Come on, Kartika!

Yes.

Come on, Kartika!

-Oh, my God! -Come on, Kartika!

Come on, Kartika!

Go for it.

Go, go, go! Come on!

Yes, yes, yes!

She won! She won! She won!

Kartika!

There she is, our winner.

-Congratulations. Finally! -You did great.

-I'm so proud of you, kiddo. -Congratulations.

Thanks, Dad.

That was awesome, champion. You swam like a fish.

I told you losing the weight would do it.

Your friend?

Yes, Mom, of course.

Jagg... Joginder.

Just helped me out with my training, that's it.

I see.

Hello, Joginder.

Hello.

What do you do?

I play centre forward for Punjab Honkey Team.

-Centre forward, okay. That's great. -Mom, let's leave?

Don't forget to invite him.

For your birthday? Why didn't you tell me? When is it?

No, for her wedding.

It takes place in 3 months. In London.

Are you okay?

-Are you fine? -He's good, Dad.

-He's fine. -I'm sorry.

Yes, sorry.

-He's fine. -Sorry.

Listen, Kartika, just look at these cards and pick one.

This is not the place.

-I don't want any last-minute hassles. -Not now, Mom.

Look at this. So sweet, isn't it?

Pretty it is.

It has not been finalised as yet.

What? The wedding?

No, the wedding has been finalised, but not the card.

-Shall we? -I'll make you meet Damle sir?

-Let's go. -Oh, okay.

Let's go meet Damle.

Poor thing.

Zip it, guys.

If you go to see, she practically used him for his body.

And then gave him a wedding invite.

Stop it. It's not so.

Good thing too.

Now I won't have to bear her responsibility anymore.

She's now that London guy's responsibility.

I have to go and become a star.

I have to become rich.

You just wait and watch how I'll score goals now.

On every goal, every girl in the stadium will stand and go,

"Jaggi, I love you."

"Hey, Jaggi, I love you."

Bro! This isn't cricket.

We are hockey players.

At the most, you'll get a decent job

in the army or the railways, thanks to the sports quota. Right, Jaggi?

By the way, that guy in London doesn't know

that Jaggi has already had his share of fun with her.

True.

She is so smart.

-You are one lucky bastard, Jaggi. -I agree.

If I knew this, I too have tried my luck.

-You fucking... -Hey!

Kartika!

Kartika!

Karti...

What?

Come down, please.

Cut it. Now.

What?

Why didn't you tell me that you're getting married?

Why should I tell you?

Are you crazy?

Why are you being so rude?

I deleted Tinder because of you.

I hit Rane with a hockey stick. The poor guy is in so much pain.

Hang on a sec. I never told you to do those things.

Just download the app again.

Apologise to Rane. Why are you blaming me?

Jaggi, I don't want to make it complicated.

Fine. Let bygone be bygones.

I am sorry.

Can we move on?

What "sorry"?

Is this a board game?

I'll apologise to him, you'll apologise to me.

Kartika, don't you think what you did was--

What I did? What do you mean? Hang on. What?

No, it is not so.

What I did? What are you referring to?

If you are trying to guilt-trip me for what happened last night,

then let me just tell you I'm not that kind of a girl.

If this is what this conversation is about, then I am not interested.

-I don't want to have this conversation. -Wait, Kartika.

Stop or else...

Or else, what?

Or else, what?

I'll delete your number.

Go for it, dude.

-I'm deleting it. -Very mature. Do it.

Happy?

Try calling me now.

I've blocked you.

Jaggi, I am sorry.

Fine, I should have told you, I know.

But I didn't plan this.

What happened between us just happened.

I have other plans. I'm moving back to London.

I'm getting married there, so...

Good, no?

But all the very best.

I'm sure you're gonna do well in life and...

We can stay in touch and...

This isn't a bouquet.

This one's from my heart. Got it?

Tell Sheena I'm going to chop off her ponytail one day.

"Whenever I see a beautiful girl My crazy heart goes ole-ole..."

"Let's sing to the rhythm And dance..."

I really hope he doesn't show up.

I can't deal with him right now.

Don't say that.

I'm here for the drama.

Thanks.

Anytime.

Guys, give it up for wrestler Bhawani Singh from Rohtak.

Do we have any other multitalented person in the audience

who can come up on this stage and perform?

Anyone? Anybody?

Hey!

No, he won't. What are you doing, Jaggi?

Why not?

-Jaggi, please. -I am going.

No, he won't. Don't cause a scene.

He'll surely sing a serious sad song.

I can't... I can't deal with him.

"Yamma, yamma Yamma, yamma"

"Such a beautiful atmosphere"

"Yamma, yamma Yamma, yamma"

"Such a beautiful atmosphere"

"Tonight is all we have"

"Tomorrow who knows Where we will be"

"Tonight is all we have"

"Tomorrow who knows Where we will be"

"Yamma, yamma Yamma, yamma"

"Such a beautiful atmosphere"

"Tonight is all we have"

"Tomorrow who knows Where we will be"

"Tonight is all we have"

"Tomorrow who knows Where we will be"

You are something!

I just can't figure you out.

I honestly thought you'll break into a sad song.

I am not that kind of a boy.

Crying is such a waste of time and energy.

This is the best part about being a Punjabi.

No matter if we feel like "Humpty Dumpty had a great fall,"

we'll always sing a cheerful song.

Okay.

-Listen? -What?

Don't marry him, please.

Jaggi, don't bore me, please.

The wedding was fixed before I came here.

I hadn't planned that I'd meet you.

Life happens. We can be friends.

Why don't you be friends with your fiance instead?

I love you.

You don't love me.

You are just in shock after you heard the news of my wedding.

-Hey-- -I'll explain it to you logically.

See, you came to the pool, you clicked my pictures.

That wasn't love, right?

Then you attended my practice sessions. I'll say similar zone.

-So, not love. -Okay.

Then you helped me. That was sweet. Thank you.

But I believe that was a fellow sportsman thing to do.

It wasn't love.

So, I rest my case right here.

And what about what happened between us that night?

You can call it anything you want.

Hook up or sex, take your pick.

Definitely not love. Yeah.

I'm damn sure.

Can't fool me.

-You are so confident. -I know.

You know nothing about yourself, but you claim to know me.

Kartika, you should give us a chance.

Forget about the wedding. What is this nonsense?

Aren't you underage?

No, I am not underage.

And one doesn't only get married for love.

What else does one get married for?

-To settle down. -Huh?

See, everything will be quite rosy in the beginning,

because initial days of course.

Then after a while, say, after 10 years,

my waist will be wider by 10 inches because I would've had kids.

So yeah, figure will go for a toss.

I don't have a problem with that. I am okay with it.

Hear me out.

I'll look boring.

I'll get a tad irritating because I'll be raising the kids on my own.

My husband will not be helping me with it.

I'll vent out my anger on him.

I'll become an emotional eater.

My waist will keep expanding and compete with an IMAX screen.

After some time, I'll start facing midlife crisis.

-If nothing works, there's therapy. -Right.

Chocolate therapy is there, retail therapy is there.

"Therapy" therapy is there, so...

You should try laughter therapy as well.

Not funny.

Girl, is this a marriage or a suicide mission?

This is what happens in a marriage, Jaggi.

I know. I have witnessed it. Yeah.

Oh, really?

But the good thing is we won't have to go through this.

We won't get to the point where we know each other so well

that we'll get bored of each other.

So, good.

This is how our story shall be, short and sweet.

Yeah.

Kartika, if this is what you think, you are yet to witness true love.

You have based your philosophy on cheap fake goods.

Listen...

I love you...

till the end and not just till the interval.

I come with a lifetime guarantee.

Look into my eyes and say that you love him.

What is this? Just...

Just say it, and I'll leave.

What does it mean? I... I don't...

Why...

You failed.

Look, I don't care about your exes, affairs or fiances...

because I'm the love of your life, your number one.

I love you.

Just cancel the wedding.

Cancel the wedding, please.

What?

Cancel the wedding. How difficult can it be?

Have you gone crazy? It is not that easy.

I mean... no.

Just tell your mom, "I don't love him. I love Jaggi," and cancel the wedding.

-I am not impractical. -She has already met me.

How is that possible? So what if she has met you?

-What? -So what?

-I love you. -Fine. Okay, fine.

If you continue to feel the same way even after 3 months,

come to London,

I'll cancel my wedding.

-You promise? -I promise.

What's that movie with Shah Rukh Khan in it?

DDLJ!

DDLJ-style, I'll cancel my wedding. I promise.

-You won't back out? -I won't.

Okay, now can we please enjoy ourselves?

You were just singing "Yamma, yamma..."

"Tonight is all we have"

"Tomorrow who knows Where we will be"

Can we do that?

Perfect.

Perfect.

"O gracious one"

"From the time I laid my eyes on you"

"O gracious one"

"I cannot take my eyes off you"

"I want to trap you in my eyes"

"I want you to be mine"

"My love"

"O God Can I call her my soulmate?"

"My confidant"

"O God Can I call her my soulmate?"

"My confidant"

"When I look into her eyes"

"When she speaks to me"

"I hear melody"

"O God Can I call her my soulmate?"

"My confidant"

"All I wanted was a drop And I was offered the ocean"

"The sun appeared And the darkness disappeared"

"I swear I am all yours"

"I swear I have lost my heart to you"

"This isn't just a passing phase"

"I want to trap you in my eyes"

"I want you to be mine"

"My love"

"O God Can I call her my soulmate?"

"My confidant"

"O God Can I call her my soulmate?"

"My confidant"

Kartika!

So, you came here with a wedding card instead of a visa?

A wedding card that has someone else's name printed on it.

I had no other option, bro.

I had applied for a visa. My application got rejected.

The agent ran away with all my money.

I had no option left.

We were just a palm's distance away from each other.

You know, my friends thought I'd lost my mind.

I haven't told my mom anything.

I left a letter under her pillow and came here.

It says, "I'll be back soon."

I know I'll get thrashed when I go back.

It's okay.

I know you'll understand.

Your speech is what inspired me so much.

"If we hadn't met in Paris, we would've met in Amsterdam.

"If not Amritsar, then Chandigarh.

"I'd find you in any corner of the world because you are my destiny.

"I love you."

Listen... that was a different time, a different place.

It was a simple wedding reception speech. That's it.

No, bro, don't say that.

It wasn't just a speech.

It was a philosophy... a philosophy on love.

It touched the deepest part of my heart.

So, you came here because of my philosophy, right?

Then here's my new philosophy.

After you hear that, you'll insist on going back to India.

What's the big deal? I said I'm sorry.

Not for speaking the truth.

I still feel that what I said was right.

But this wasn't the right place or time for it, and so I am sorry.

You are sorry?

You are sorry?

Wow!

He's the Central Minister, Ira.

It was an official diplomatic dinner.

It wasn't a street rally protest.

I invited you to have dinner with my superiors, not to fight with them.

If someone has political views that are different from ours,

we start respecting that and not start attacking it.

But you being you...

You were there as my wife.

You were not there as some two-bit social activist.

Excuse me? How dare you!

My position never mattered to you. You don't care.

-Gautam, listen to me. -No, you listen to me.

This isn't the first time.

And I am sure this won't be the last time either.

Sir, keychain?

Ma'am, keychain? Just five euros, ma'am.

Please.

You are from Pakistan?

India?

Same here. Please take one.

Have you eaten?

No, not since two days.

Wait here. I'll be right back.

What's your name?

Aditya.

Where are you from?

Saharanpur.

Where do you stay?

Here and there.

There's a camp across the 18th Street metro.

I usually stay there.

30-40 of us live there.

Indians, Pakistanis, Bangladeshis and Africans.

French police had received a tip-off about an illegal settlement.

Many young men and children have been arrested.

Move!

These illegal immigrants,

most of who are Indians, will soon be deported.

He's the same boy who...

This is Rajesh Kambode with cameraman Rakesh Yadav reporting live...

Did you tip off the police?

Look at me, Gautam!

Did you tell the police about that settlement?

Calm down, Ira.

Calm down?

Yes, I did. So?

Will you allow a stranger to stay in your house?

You won't, right?

Then why should France allow it?

They are all illegals.

You are taking revenge, aren't you?

Because I argued with that minister?

You have lost your mind, Ira.

I am talking to you.

I am listening.

Who are you, Gautam?

You are not the man I married.

I am the same man.

I am the same "plan man" Gautam.

I thought you'd change after we get married.

You'd become a bit more mature.

Look, Ira, I'm a government servant. I am just an employee.

Unlike you, I cannot just start protesting at the drop of a hat.

Why do you keep insulting me with reference to my job?

I am not insulting.

I have no problem with your job either.

You are the one who has a problem with my job.