Original subtitles

♪♪

Whoa!

Gweeseek!

Gweeseek, get over -- Come on.

Whoa! [ Grunts ]

Huh?

♪♪

♪♪

[ Laughs ]

The Museum of Presidential Haberdashery

is no match for master thief...

Braunt Stevens.

[ Chuckles ]

First rule of heisting --

spray it, don't say it.

♪♪

Another perfect heist.

[ Laughs ] That was easy!

Life is easy!

[ Laughing ]

W-Whoa! Hey!

Oh, no!

The hat, where did it go?

I must find it!

♪♪

♪♪

Mom, where's my strawberry hat?

This hat smells like something, and it is not strawberry.

No. It's time to give it a wash.

But I can't leave my house without my hat.

That's the main reason people like me.

They will just have to like you for you.

I'm doomed.

♪♪

Hello.

What's this?

Wow, I feel like I could be someone important.

Like the president...

of a small town,

or the mayor...

of an ice cream store.

Fancy!

Yep, I've gone from man to gentle-man.

Oh, can I try it on?

Okay, but don't get any big ideas.

This baby's mine.

How do you do, Madam Gweeseek?

Hey, this hat has a hole in it.

Maybe you should take it back to the store.

I didn't buy the hat, I found it.

You found it?

Heh, isn't that lucky?

But somebody could be looking for it.

Get real, Tiggy.

Like someone's out there frantically searching

for an old hat with a hole in it.

Where's my hat?

Where's my hat?!

[ Tires squeal ]

Hold on.

Why should Braunt Stevens find the hat

when another could find it for him?

[ Chuckles ] So clever!

Braunt: I was driving to the second-hand grocery market

to buy inexpensive noodles for my starving children

when the hat flew off my head.

[ Hisses ] You see, I'm...

so very poor, and I can only afford

the cheapest noodle brand --

the one with the unhealthy chemicals.

That's the saddest story I've ever heard.

Do you think you can find it?

Hey, wait a second!

Is something wrong?

Because sometimes photos look like two pictures

pasted on top of each other.

That's just how photography works.

I've seen this hat before.

He's on to me!

My friend Prangle found it in the bushes this morning.

Oh! Thank goodness.

Well, I guess we could just -- Heist it from him?

I-I was gonna say ask him to give it back.

Oh.

I'm sure if we tell Prangle the situation,

he'll listen to reason.

No!

Mom, I'm going to take a shower.

Where's my rubber ducky?

[ Rubber duck squeaks ]

Don't forget to wash behind your ears!

And under your armpit and your feet.

Tiggy: Mr. Stevens, I feel just awful

thinking about your poor, starving children,

calling out for their papa's hat.

We tried it your way, now let's do mine.

Tiggy, have you ever staged a heist?

I don't think so.

Well, take notes.

Second rule of heisting --

always have a hook.

What was the first rule?

I said it earlier. You weren't there.

Now, let's hurry, while he's still in the shower.

Why does he have to be in the shower?

Because he won't be wearing the hat.

How do you know that?

Because people don't wear clothes in the shower.

They don't? Well, then how do they

protect themselves from all that hot water?

You're a really weird kid.

That hat is so close I can taste it.

Hmm. I don't taste anything.

It's just an expression.

Oh, okay, yeah, heh,

like when I said that thing about taking a shower

with my clothes on.

That was also just an expression.

It's gotta be here.

Unless...

Who's the weird one now?

[ Humming ]

♪♪

Your lost has been found!

That was easy!

Life is ea-- Prangle: Hold it!

You sneak into my house

to steal the hat straight from my sudsy head?

For shame, Prangle.

This isn't your hat, it's Braunt's!

I can't believe you would deprive poor children --

Poor, starving children.

Poor, starving children th-th-their favorite hat!

Their only joy!

Oh, they love it ever so much --

"Daddy, Daddy, put on the hat!

We want to see you in the hat, Daddy!"

Braunt's a single, working father who just wants

to take care of his kids and loves heisting.

Uh, who doesn't?

He's a real-life saint.

Okay, fine.

Take the hat.

You need it more than me.

[ Chuckles ] Finally, mine once again.

I bet you can't wait to show your kids!

Who? You know, your children.

[ Quick footsteps, door slams, engine starts ]

That was easy!

Life is easy!

[ Laughs ]

Oh, o-o-okay.

Bye!

Gre-- Great guy. [ Chuckles ]

I'm glad the hat's back in the hands of its original owner --

Carla: Abraham Lincoln...

...'s top hat was stolen.

Sorry, don't know why I paused there.

Wow, that looks a lot like Braunt Stevens' hat.

Yeah, it even has the hole in it.

Anyone found with this cherished

national treasure will meet swift justice.

This isn't mere robbery, this is high treason.

Oh, no!

Prangle, do you know what this means?

Both: Braunt accidentally mistook his own top hat

for Abraham Lincoln's stolen top hat

and now he's going to be unjustly accused of treason!

[ Both gasp ]

We gotta warn him. Yeah!

But how are we going to find him?

If only we had two world-class finders...

Yeah, if only we had those.

Prangle!

What do we got here, what do we got...

Hmm...

We got a book.

We got a section "S."

We got Stevens comma Braunt.

And that's a-how it's done.

You're a really weird kid.

Braunt: Ah, another perfect heist

by master thief, Braunt Stevens.

This will fit right in with the rest of my collection.

[ Doorbell rings ]

Tiggy: Braunt! Braunt!

We need to talk to you right now!

Is it about the hat?

Yeah! How'd you know?

Those halfwits finally caught on.

But it's too late.

[ Chuckles ] Braunt!

Braunt, are you there?

He must be poor.

His intercom is broken.

They'll never get past my security gate.

Haha!

[ Laughs ] Wait, what is that cat doing?

No. No! Drats!

Well, Braunt still has some tricks up his sleeve.

Let's see how you handle my vicious attack dogs.

[ Dogs barking, growling ]

Yes! Yes!

Wait, what?

No! No!

They were supposed to be kibble!

Time to initiate total lockdown.

♪♪

[ Cackles ]

Let's see them try to get through six inches of titanium.

Yeah, let's see 'em try.

Wait, who are we talking about?

Duh, Tiggy, it's an expression.

Like when you told me you wear your clothes in the shower.

Wha-- Th-- How did you get in here?

We don't have time for that now!

Braunt, the top hat, it was stolen!

Yeah. I heisted it.

Yeah I know, we heisted it from Prangle.

But before that, someone stole it from the museum!

Me, you fools! I stole it!

You're a thief?

I'm not just a thief -- I'm a master thief!

I steal for thrills!

[ Gasps ] Braunt, how could you?

What will your starving children think?

I don't have starving children.

Well, what would your regular children think?

Bah -- I don't have any children!

That was a lie. I -- It was all a lie!

But -- But I thought you were a great guy,

a role model,

a real-life saint!

I said to myself, I said, "I'm gonna grow up

and be just like Braunt Stevens,"

but now I don't even want starving kids!

I thought the world was a nice place full of good people.

But now I know there's nothing but darkness.

Well, that's a little bleak.

I'm gonna go home and paint my room black.

I'm gonna listen to synth music

from a bunch of art school dropouts.

Kid, it -- it's just a hat.

You didn't just steal a hat.

You stole this young child's optimism.

His spirit.

His will to not be a weirdo.

I never meant to do that, I just wanted the thrills.

But at what cost?

I'm gonna wear my hair over my face

so I don't have to see how crummy life is.

No, please, don't grow bangs.

I'm sorry, really.

Here, take the hat back to the museum.

See, the world is not so bad.

Braunt, you'd really give back the hat?

Third rule of heisting --

never break a child's heart.

What were the other two?

I said them earlier.

Well, Gweeseek, I guess we better save pessimism

for our teen years, and I bet Braunt Stevens

will think twice before his next heist.

You know, even Prangle learned a little somethin', somethin'.

Can you believe he offered to hand

deliver the hat to the museum himself!

[ Sighs ] Great guy.

Carla: This just in -- Abraham Lincoln's hat

has been returned to its rightful home.

And, interestingly enough, the hat doesn't look

quite how it does in the history books.

♪♪

That was easy!

Life is easy!

[ Laughs ]

[ Laughing ]

[ Groans ]

♪♪

♪♪

[ Meows ]

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