Original subtitles

Whoa!

Gweeseek!

Gweeseek, get over -- Come on.

Whoa! [ Grunts ]

Huh?

♪♪

I can't believe it.

We're actually on the moon.

Whoooaaahhh, whoaaaaoaa.

Moon cat.

Wait! Gweeseek, we forgot our helmets!

[ Gasping ]

I can't breathe. [ Gasping ]

Outta the way, kid.

[ Chuckling ]

Isn't this exciting?

This is where the movies are made.

[ Chuckles, sighs ]

Okay, back to business.

We better return this megaphone to its owner, pronto.

"Filming in progress"? Oh, no.

They can't film without this.

Attention, movie people!

We found your missing megaphone,

megaphone, megaphooooooooooone.

Kid, we're shooting a commercial in here.

Chester, I specifically requested

there be no hubbub on set,

and here I find you at the hub of the bub.

But the kid and the cat -- Hubbub.

Nothing's easy for Chester.

That's -- that's the truth.

Hubbub.

That's fun to say.

Hubbubbubbubhubhub...

Ah, my megaphone.

Yep, we found it in the Dumpster

behind the lobster factory.

You have my associate, Gweeseek,

to thank for that.

Who is that incredible blue fluff ball?

She simply must star in my commercial.

But Gweeseek's not an actress,

she's barely convincing as a cat.

He just has to be himself.

Trust me, by the time I'm done with him,

everyone will be saying the name...

Qweeseeks.

What do you think, Gweeseek?

You want to be in the commercial?

[ Sneezes ]

There you have it. She'll take the part!

Tiggy: Wow, a real movie set.

Look at all that glitz and glamour.

Contracts first.

I'll need you to sign here, here, here, here, here.

Oh. Don't forget page 11.

Oh! What's that thing?

That's the camera.

Ooh.

And what's that?

That's the same camera.

Ohhh.

And what's that?

That's -- Uh, you know what? Just give me the cat.

Alright, Gweeseek, go out there

and share your lovable personality with the world.

Break a paw.

♪♪

A star is being born right before our eyes.

It's less goopier than I imagined.

You know, I auditioned for this part,

but they went with a cat.

The story of my life. Oh.

Lights...camera...

and action.

Squeesqueaks!

Time for dinner!

Ooh. There she is.

[ Deep voice ] Let me guess --

dry, crusty cat food again?

Ugh, you disgust me, human slave.

[ Gasps ]

I'd rather eat from the "garb-aaj."

[ Laughter ]

Why is Gweeseek acting so mean? Shh!

Woman: Here, try the new ocean flavor mix

from Feline Feast.

[ Sniffing ] Mmm.

Do I smell seagull shreddings?

Oh. Oh. Oh. Mmm, mmm, mmm.

Now make yourself useful and scratch behind my ears.

Oooh.

Wha--? A cat talkin'.

But -- no!

Ooh, that's the spot.

Who's saying that?

Meow. Wow.

[ Laughter ]

Him...

Who do you think you are?!

Why, I'm Eric Bauza, Canada's sweetheart

and the voice of all your favorite

cartoon characters, including --

Nobody cares about cartoons.

You're making my cat look like a mean old meanie!

Oh, I'm sorry.

I just read what the script says.

So, without that script,

you won't know what to say.

[ Laughs ] I guess not. May I see it?

I don't see why not.

Eeeyah! Yah! [ Laughing maniacally ]

Nyah!

[ Laughs ] Good thing I always carry a backup.

May I see it?

I don't see why not.

Eeeyah! Yah! Nyah! Ow.

Tiggy, what's the problem?

I'll tell you the problem, that man is not Gweeseek!

Any other earth-shattering revelations

you want to bring to my attention?

You said you wanted Gweeseek to be herself,

but this guy over here is screwing it all up.

I'm sorry.

He doesn't sound anything like Gweeseek.

Well, then, enlighten us.

What exactly does Qweeseeks sound like?

[Clearing throat]

Mmmmmmmmmmme

M-Me-- meeeeee...

Meteeeeeeggggy

teegy

nnnnteeeaaaeaaeaeae--

I can't do it when you're all looking at me!

[ Clearing throat ]

Mmmmee me mee.

Meeee teeegyy --

Eric, no.

Time to get out of this heck-hole!

Gweeseek, you quit!

Unh-unh-unh. I'm afraid she can't quit.

You signed a contract you didn't read, remember?

That sounds like something I would do.

Quinkletinks is going to be in this commercial

whether you like it or not.

May I see that?

Well, no piece of paper can tell me what to do!

I'm not going anywhere!

Aah! Ugh!

And stay out!

I've always wanted to say that.

My dad used to say it to me.

[ Grunting ]

Figures they'd lock the door.

They think of everything...

except for how crazy I am.

[ Laughing maniacally ]

Who is it?

I coulda sworn I heard a knock.

Oh. What a day, huh?

That's why I choose Feline Fe--

[ Coughing ]

Sorry.

Could I trouble someone for a hot tea?

Hot tea for Eric Bauza!

Hot tea for Eric Bauza.

Hot tea for Eric Bauza.

Hot tea for Eric Bauza.

Hot tea for Eric Bauza.

Extry hot. [ Laughing evilly ]

[ Laughing ]

Your...[spluttering]

...your tea.

Thank you.

Man, everyone sure is nice around here.

♪♪

[ Choking ]

Hello, movie people!

Bet you don't remember me.

Hot, hot, hot.

Well, unlucky for you, I remember me,

and I'm back, baby!

-He's in the booth! -Oh.

Of all the days to forget my taser.

Now this is how things are gonna go.

You either tear up Gweeseek's contract or pay the price.

Aah! Ooh, I've gotta start working out.

Oh, for the love of --

[ Tiggy laughing ]

This recording will self-destruct in 3...

Hit the deck! ...2, 1.

[ Imitating explosion ]

Ah, no, help me!

[ Sighs ] Chester.

[ Banging ] [ Gasps ]

[ Muffled screaming ]

[ Pants ] Just do what he wants!

I will not succumb to the whims of a child.

The show must go on!

Get ready to roll.

[ Tiggy laughing evilly ]

[ Exhales ]

I can't see! I can't see!!

Roll sound!

My mic! It's corn on the cob!

Get it away from the lights!

[ Corn popping ]

[ All screaming ]

I'm allergic to corn!

Aaaaahhh!

Aha!

Stop that child!

Hey, that's dangerous over there!

[ Laughing ]

Whoa. Whoaaa. Aah! Watch out!

[ Screaming ]

Oh. I'm okay. I'm okay.

Aah!

[ Panting ]

Your reign of terror has come to an end.

Ugh...Oh.

That's right, you have nowhere to run.

Now take your hands off my star.

Your star?!

You don't care about her at all!

You look at this cat and all you see is a big pile of money!

I look at her and all I see is a big pile of poo...

i-in her kitty box,

which I clean up every day because...

because I love her more than anything else

in the big, wide world.

She's everything to me.

-Aw. -Awww.

And -- and that's why I won't let you or him

or anyone make her look like a jerk!

Did you get that?

Oh, yeah.

That was the commercial right there.

That's a wrap, everyone.

Wait, really?

I-I'm gonna be the commercial?

A boy and his cat.

It's honest, it's raw, it's...

just what this commercial was missing.

You know what this means?

Gweeseek, we're gonna be famous!

[ Meows ]

Announcer: Tonight's "Chilumbo" is brought to you

by the following sponsors.

Ooh, ooh, here it comes.

Squeesqueaks.

Time for dinner.

Wait.

Why are you holding my cat?

Because...

You don't care about her at all!

You look at this cat --

You feed her lousy, dry cat food.

I look at her and all --

I feed her is Feline Feast,

ocean flavor mix.

Because...

Because I love her more than a big pile of poo.

A-And -- And that's why I won't let you --

Feed her anything but Feline Feast,

ocean flavor mix.

Take it from me, a boy named...

Teeeeeeggggy teegy

nnnnteeeaaaeg aaeaeae--

Announcer: Feline Feast, ocean flavor mix.

Now with real seagull shreddings.

Well...that's the last time

we'll see Tig and Seek on TV.

♪♪

♪♪

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