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1
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♪ ♪
2
00:00:08,818 --> 00:00:10,454
Mmm. When I die,
3
00:00:10,522 --> 00:00:12,726
we should totally
get this sandwich place
4
00:00:12,792 --> 00:00:13,828
for my memorial.
5
00:00:13,895 --> 00:00:16,934
So good. Mmm. Can't wait.
6
00:00:17,001 --> 00:00:20,440
Oh, all these people
loved Mr. Chase.
7
00:00:20,508 --> 00:00:22,946
His students
are taking it so hard.
8
00:00:23,013 --> 00:00:25,585
Yeah, nobody grieves
like theater kids.
9
00:00:25,652 --> 00:00:27,689
(wailing)
10
00:00:29,225 --> 00:00:30,795
(Marge gasps)
11
00:00:30,862 --> 00:00:32,298
This is my show!
12
00:00:32,364 --> 00:00:35,170
Why are they singing
about computers?
13
00:00:35,237 --> 00:00:37,141
- It was a musical about Y2
- K,
14
00:00:37,207 --> 00:00:39,646
which was very scary back then.
15
00:00:39,713 --> 00:00:42,051
Scarier than anything
we have now.
16
00:00:42,117 --> 00:00:44,556
The whole show takes place
on New Year's Eve,
17
00:00:44,623 --> 00:00:47,428
‐1999...
‐♪ Five, four, three
18
00:00:47,494 --> 00:00:50,200
♪ Two, zero, zero, zero ♪
19
00:00:50,267 --> 00:00:54,643
-♪ A midnight countdown to Y2
- K ♪
20
00:00:54,710 --> 00:00:59,418
♪ Five, four, three, two,
will I be a zero? ♪
21
00:00:59,485 --> 00:01:04,195
♪ When tomorrow becomes today. ♪
22
00:01:04,261 --> 00:01:06,065
Mom, which one are you?
23
00:01:06,132 --> 00:01:08,303
I was right over here.
24
00:01:08,370 --> 00:01:11,075
In the wings,
calling all the shots...
25
00:01:11,142 --> 00:01:14,115
as the stage manager.
26
00:01:14,181 --> 00:01:17,956
Mrs. Chase,
I'm so sorry for your loss.
27
00:01:18,023 --> 00:01:19,325
Oh, thank you, dear.
28
00:01:19,392 --> 00:01:21,797
Say, look what I found
when I was cleaning out
29
00:01:21,864 --> 00:01:23,534
- Franklin's office.
- (gasps)
30
00:01:23,601 --> 00:01:25,037
My prompt book.
31
00:01:25,103 --> 00:01:27,074
This binder lists all the cues
32
00:01:27,141 --> 00:01:29,478
for the entire production.
33
00:01:29,546 --> 00:01:32,686
Oh, Franklin always said you
were the heart of the show‐‐
34
00:01:32,752 --> 00:01:36,392
that your stage managing
was so... zealous.
35
00:01:36,459 --> 00:01:38,798
I definitely ran a tight ship.
36
00:01:38,864 --> 00:01:41,402
But in a fun way
everyone loved, obviously.
37
00:01:41,469 --> 00:01:43,440
- Oh, yeah, totally.
- Super fun.
38
00:01:43,507 --> 00:01:46,547
Of course, I would have loved
to have been in the show,
39
00:01:46,613 --> 00:01:48,450
except I'm not much of a singer.
40
00:01:48,517 --> 00:01:52,525
But in my imagination, I've got
the voice of a Disney princess.
41
00:01:52,592 --> 00:01:53,326
Oh...
42
00:01:53,393 --> 00:01:55,297
What a special time.
43
00:01:55,363 --> 00:01:58,169
I'd give anything
to feel that magic again.
44
00:01:58,236 --> 00:02:01,209
♪ ♪
45
00:02:02,712 --> 00:02:05,852
(Disney princess voice):
♪ Script notes and sound cues
46
00:02:05,918 --> 00:02:08,557
♪ Take me there again ♪
47
00:02:08,624 --> 00:02:10,995
♪ In my blacks
in the backs of the wings ♪
48
00:02:11,062 --> 00:02:13,366
♪ So I'm not seen ♪
49
00:02:15,403 --> 00:02:17,474
♪ No one knows the magic ♪
50
00:02:17,542 --> 00:02:22,417
♪ That hides
behind the scenes ♪
51
00:02:23,253 --> 00:02:25,056
(regular voice):
It's me!
52
00:02:25,123 --> 00:02:27,294
The cast said yes!
53
00:02:27,361 --> 00:02:29,900
We're putting on a musical!
54
00:02:29,966 --> 00:02:32,171
(Disney princess voice):
♪ Places, everybody
55
00:02:32,237 --> 00:02:34,643
♪ It's time to start the show ♪
56
00:02:34,709 --> 00:02:36,613
♪ That's what actors
need me to say ♪
57
00:02:36,680 --> 00:02:39,185
♪ Otherwise, they wouldn't
know where to go ♪
58
00:02:39,251 --> 00:02:41,055
♪ Cinch up the hemlines ♪
59
00:02:41,122 --> 00:02:43,459
♪ Sound check all the mics ♪
60
00:02:43,527 --> 00:02:45,497
♪ Close the door,
ring the bell ♪
61
00:02:45,565 --> 00:02:48,469
♪ And bring down
the house lights ♪
62
00:02:48,537 --> 00:02:53,413
♪ It's curtains up
for Marge Bouvier ♪
63
00:02:53,479 --> 00:02:56,452
♪ 'Cause I'm once again
the star ♪
64
00:02:56,520 --> 00:02:58,389
♪ Of the backstage ♪
65
00:02:58,456 --> 00:03:00,393
Wow, you're the director?
66
00:03:00,460 --> 00:03:03,299
(regular voice): No, more
important‐‐ the stage manager.
67
00:03:03,366 --> 00:03:05,571
- Ah!
- Five minutes, guys!
68
00:03:05,638 --> 00:03:07,542
- Thank you, five.
- Five minutes.
69
00:03:07,609 --> 00:03:10,882
I always used to love
saying that, before...
70
00:03:10,948 --> 00:03:13,286
(Disney princess voice):
♪ The endless loads
71
00:03:13,353 --> 00:03:15,490
♪ The dishes piled high ♪
72
00:03:15,558 --> 00:03:17,494
♪ The whining and complaining ♪
73
00:03:17,562 --> 00:03:18,864
‐♪ It's mine ♪
‐♪ It's mine
74
00:03:18,931 --> 00:03:21,068
- BOTH: ♪ It's mine ♪
- (regular voice): Enough!
75
00:03:21,135 --> 00:03:26,445
(Disney princess voice):
♪ I'm returning to my
76
00:03:26,513 --> 00:03:31,556
♪ A revival of
our fondest memories ♪
77
00:03:31,623 --> 00:03:33,092
‐♪ Singin'... ♪
‐♪ Do
78
00:03:33,159 --> 00:03:34,829
‐♪ Re ♪
‐♪ Mi
79
00:03:34,896 --> 00:03:37,835
‐♪ This ♪
‐♪ Show ♪
80
00:03:37,902 --> 00:03:40,140
♪ The talk of the town ♪
81
00:03:40,206 --> 00:03:43,413
♪ A hit, a smash, the rage ♪
82
00:03:43,479 --> 00:03:46,385
♪ And there's nothing
Springfield needs more ♪
83
00:03:46,452 --> 00:03:48,022
♪ Than a play ♪
84
00:03:48,089 --> 00:03:49,325
(regular voice):
Good!
85
00:03:49,391 --> 00:03:51,964
(Disney princess voice):
♪ 'Cause I'm once again the
86
00:03:52,030 --> 00:03:54,602
♪ Appreciated, well‐respected,
never, ever disconnected ♪
87
00:03:54,669 --> 00:03:56,305
♪ Nothing but
the most impressive ♪
88
00:03:56,372 --> 00:03:57,775
♪ Everybody's dearest friended ♪
89
00:03:57,842 --> 00:04:00,581
♪ Star ♪
90
00:04:00,648 --> 00:04:03,754
♪ Of the backstage... ♪
91
00:04:03,821 --> 00:04:05,791
♪ She's the star,
see how she shines ♪
92
00:04:05,858 --> 00:04:09,498
♪ She answers
when we call for lines ♪
93
00:04:09,566 --> 00:04:12,805
♪ Places, everybody! ♪
94
00:04:14,876 --> 00:04:17,515
Wow, honey,
those dorks are so excited to be
95
00:04:17,582 --> 00:04:18,817
in your show again.
96
00:04:18,884 --> 00:04:19,884
And I will do everything
97
00:04:19,919 --> 00:04:21,523
I can to support you...
98
00:04:21,590 --> 00:04:23,092
while I'm at Moe's.
99
00:04:23,159 --> 00:04:24,529
Mwah.
100
00:04:24,596 --> 00:04:27,401
Sorry, Marge, but I got to
drop out of the show.
101
00:04:27,467 --> 00:04:29,238
I broke my hip
while singing and dancing
102
00:04:29,304 --> 00:04:30,875
about feeling young again.
103
00:04:31,777 --> 00:04:34,181
Say, Dad, what if
you filled in for Lenny
104
00:04:34,248 --> 00:04:35,651
and joined Mom's musical?
105
00:04:35,718 --> 00:04:39,893
Yeah, then you'd be the most
supportive husband ever.
106
00:04:39,959 --> 00:04:41,295
Great idea, kids.
107
00:04:41,362 --> 00:04:42,565
I'm all in, babe!
108
00:04:42,632 --> 00:04:45,437
One pair of super tight
dance pants, please!
109
00:04:46,238 --> 00:04:47,608
(laughing)
110
00:04:47,675 --> 00:04:50,514
From this day forward,
we are enemies.
111
00:04:50,581 --> 00:04:52,384
Forever and ever.
112
00:04:52,451 --> 00:04:54,254
Forever.
113
00:04:54,321 --> 00:04:55,624
MARGE:
Okay,
114
00:04:55,691 --> 00:04:59,732
back on stage‐‐ it's just like
we're teenagers again.
115
00:04:59,799 --> 00:05:02,037
Now let's start the rehearsal.
116
00:05:02,104 --> 00:05:03,306
Theater!
117
00:05:03,372 --> 00:05:05,711
Wait, we can't start
without Sasha Reed.
118
00:05:05,778 --> 00:05:07,356
- She was the star of the show.
- Mm‐hmm.
119
00:05:07,380 --> 00:05:09,084
She got into Julliard.
120
00:05:09,151 --> 00:05:10,186
(sighs)
121
00:05:10,253 --> 00:05:11,255
Sasha.
(chuckles)
122
00:05:11,322 --> 00:05:12,892
You never forget
your first diva.
123
00:05:12,959 --> 00:05:15,163
I'd love to know
what she's been up to.
124
00:05:15,230 --> 00:05:17,067
Well, as your dutiful
stage manager,
125
00:05:17,134 --> 00:05:20,875
I did reach out repeatedly,
but never heard back.
126
00:05:20,941 --> 00:05:23,312
I guess we'll never know
what happened
127
00:05:23,379 --> 00:05:25,985
after Sasha
left little old Springfield
128
00:05:26,051 --> 00:05:27,420
for New York City.
129
00:05:27,487 --> 00:05:28,857
WOMAN:
Never say never!
130
00:05:28,924 --> 00:05:31,061
Hello, old friends!
131
00:05:31,128 --> 00:05:33,099
Ah! It's Sasha!
132
00:05:33,166 --> 00:05:36,673
Let me tell you all about it.
133
00:05:36,740 --> 00:05:39,011
♪ It was a cold
and rainy morning ♪
134
00:05:39,077 --> 00:05:41,215
♪ When I exited the bus ♪
135
00:05:41,282 --> 00:05:43,486
♪ I stepped into the city ♪
136
00:05:43,554 --> 00:05:46,158
♪ Everyone in such a rush ♪
137
00:05:46,225 --> 00:05:48,496
♪ I suppose I started singing ♪
138
00:05:48,564 --> 00:05:50,668
♪ Just to keep
the chill at bay ♪
139
00:05:50,734 --> 00:05:53,507
♪ I guess I sounded
something like ♪
140
00:05:53,574 --> 00:05:56,980
♪ This ♪
141
00:05:57,047 --> 00:06:01,756
♪ And that's when I heard
a man say ♪
142
00:06:01,823 --> 00:06:04,194
♪ "That tone, that pitch ♪
143
00:06:04,261 --> 00:06:05,998
♪ "Your voice'll make us rich ♪
144
00:06:06,065 --> 00:06:10,406
♪ Stick with me, and you'll
be destined to impress" ♪
145
00:06:10,473 --> 00:06:12,110
♪ And that's how Sasha became ♪
146
00:06:12,177 --> 00:06:14,849
♪ A massive success ♪
147
00:06:14,916 --> 00:06:16,018
♪ Yes, Sasha ♪
148
00:06:16,085 --> 00:06:18,523
♪ Is a massive success ♪
149
00:06:19,792 --> 00:06:20,861
(exclaiming)
150
00:06:20,928 --> 00:06:23,533
♪ Now I dine on the veranda ♪
151
00:06:23,600 --> 00:06:25,738
♪ With Lin‐Manuel Miranda ♪
152
00:06:25,804 --> 00:06:28,577
♪ Scrape meat off the bone
with Patti LuPone ♪
153
00:06:28,644 --> 00:06:30,179
♪ Don't mention Glenn Close ♪
154
00:06:30,246 --> 00:06:32,017
♪ I eat Bananas Foster ♪
155
00:06:32,083 --> 00:06:34,087
♪ With my good friend
Sutton Foster ♪
156
00:06:34,154 --> 00:06:37,561
♪ Thanks to Stephen Sondheim,
who's the most gracious host ♪
157
00:06:37,628 --> 00:06:40,701
♪ Yes, I'm everything
you thought I'd be ♪
158
00:06:40,768 --> 00:06:42,838
♪ When I left Springfield
for the big city ♪
159
00:06:42,905 --> 00:06:46,546
♪ I've made it,
I'm a cut above the rest ♪
160
00:06:47,480 --> 00:06:50,453
♪ 'Cause Sasha has returned ♪
161
00:06:50,521 --> 00:06:52,157
♪ A massive ♪
162
00:06:52,223 --> 00:06:56,231
♪ Success... ♪
163
00:06:57,968 --> 00:06:59,071
♪ That's right ♪
164
00:06:59,137 --> 00:07:00,473
♪ I'm a Broadway ♪
165
00:07:00,541 --> 00:07:05,617
♪ Star! ♪
166
00:07:08,222 --> 00:07:11,295
Oh, I can't believe
Sasha came back.
167
00:07:11,362 --> 00:07:13,032
What a career!
168
00:07:14,000 --> 00:07:16,639
I know a famous person
that knows what's his name,
169
00:07:16,706 --> 00:07:18,677
who is she,
and never heard of him!
170
00:07:19,444 --> 00:07:21,616
Okay, okay, everybody.
171
00:07:21,683 --> 00:07:24,989
It's so exciting that
Sasha is a massive success,
172
00:07:25,056 --> 00:07:27,628
but we really need
to walk through our blocking.
173
00:07:27,695 --> 00:07:29,231
Let's make it precise, gang!
174
00:07:29,297 --> 00:07:31,201
Blocking, so important.
175
00:07:31,268 --> 00:07:33,072
That's what Hal always told me.
176
00:07:33,139 --> 00:07:34,408
Hal Prince.
177
00:07:34,474 --> 00:07:35,844
Boom! Named it!
178
00:07:35,911 --> 00:07:38,617
But before we get into
the technical stuff,
179
00:07:38,683 --> 00:07:42,558
we need to reconnect
as an ensemblé.
180
00:07:42,625 --> 00:07:45,029
Let's all go to my lake house
and do trust falls.
181
00:07:45,096 --> 00:07:47,601
But we have to carve out
some time to run lines.
182
00:07:47,668 --> 00:07:51,375
(chuckles) Marge Bouvier,
you have not changed a bit.
183
00:07:51,442 --> 00:07:53,647
Okay, Mom, we'll run lines,
184
00:07:53,713 --> 00:07:55,249
but don't wait up for us.
185
00:07:55,316 --> 00:07:56,485
Us? What do you mean?
186
00:07:56,553 --> 00:07:59,124
This bonding session
is for the cast.
187
00:07:59,191 --> 00:08:00,994
You understand, right?
188
00:08:01,061 --> 00:08:02,063
Oh.
189
00:08:02,130 --> 00:08:04,234
Sure.
Of course.
190
00:08:04,301 --> 00:08:06,472
Come on, friends!
(laughs)
191
00:08:06,539 --> 00:08:09,612
I was wrong.
Theater kids are super cool.
192
00:08:09,679 --> 00:08:10,981
Thanks for the hookup, honey.
193
00:08:12,785 --> 00:08:14,589
♪ ♪
194
00:08:19,264 --> 00:08:22,370
♪ How will I stay alive? ♪
195
00:08:22,437 --> 00:08:24,407
♪ When all ♪
196
00:08:24,474 --> 00:08:26,613
♪ The computers think I died? ♪
197
00:08:26,679 --> 00:08:29,284
‐♪ How will I ♪
‐♪ How will I
198
00:08:29,351 --> 00:08:31,321
♪ Stay alive ♪
199
00:08:31,388 --> 00:08:34,762
♪ When all the clocks
and the computers ♪
200
00:08:34,829 --> 00:08:37,801
♪ Think I died? ♪
201
00:08:42,778 --> 00:08:45,551
Okay, the curtain‐raiser
went a smidge long,
202
00:08:45,617 --> 00:08:47,387
so stay on your marks next time.
203
00:08:47,453 --> 00:08:49,357
- Take five!
- Thank you, five.
204
00:08:49,424 --> 00:08:53,265
Anyway, I hope you all remember
the best part of rehearsal...
205
00:08:53,332 --> 00:08:54,835
brownies!
206
00:08:54,902 --> 00:08:59,010
Are those Margie's Brownies
with walnuts and M&Ms?
207
00:08:59,812 --> 00:09:01,749
It's true, I do matter.
208
00:09:01,816 --> 00:09:04,254
Look what else I'm included in.
209
00:09:04,321 --> 00:09:05,891
It's all from our shows.
210
00:09:05,958 --> 00:09:08,395
We were such
a tight‐knit group.
211
00:09:08,462 --> 00:09:10,366
Remember the tightness
of the knitting?
212
00:09:10,433 --> 00:09:12,938
(inhales)
There's my old guitar pick.
213
00:09:13,005 --> 00:09:17,080
Oh, I haven't played guitar
since I lost this!
214
00:09:18,382 --> 00:09:19,619
Still works!
215
00:09:20,887 --> 00:09:23,158
Oh, man, this takes me back...
216
00:09:23,225 --> 00:09:24,327
Remember, guys?
217
00:09:25,329 --> 00:09:27,266
♪ Bonfires at Billy's ♪
218
00:09:27,333 --> 00:09:30,874
♪ We'd talk about our dreams ♪
219
00:09:34,147 --> 00:09:36,619
♪ We'd get drunk
and make out, ha ♪
220
00:09:36,686 --> 00:09:38,957
♪ Cause a scene ♪
221
00:09:39,024 --> 00:09:41,028
Remind me who Billy was again?
222
00:09:41,094 --> 00:09:42,631
You know‐‐ Billy.
223
00:09:43,399 --> 00:09:45,403
♪ Late nights at the diner ♪
224
00:09:45,469 --> 00:09:48,475
♪ We'd laugh and we'd cry ♪
225
00:09:48,543 --> 00:09:50,747
Right. Uh‐huh.
The diner.
226
00:09:50,814 --> 00:09:53,853
♪ Smoking clove cigarettes ♪
227
00:09:53,920 --> 00:09:57,026
♪ Ruthie serving us
cheese fries ♪
228
00:09:57,093 --> 00:09:58,763
Is that why you guys
always smelled
229
00:09:58,830 --> 00:09:59,899
like burnt cinnamon?
230
00:09:59,965 --> 00:10:02,905
♪ Climbing the water tower ♪
231
00:10:02,971 --> 00:10:05,042
♪ Drunk on whiskey sours ♪
232
00:10:05,109 --> 00:10:07,815
♪ Stealing the Lard Lad sign ♪
233
00:10:07,881 --> 00:10:10,352
- That was you guys?
- Yeah.
234
00:10:10,419 --> 00:10:12,223
♪ Remember the times ♪
235
00:10:12,290 --> 00:10:14,127
♪ The best times ♪
236
00:10:14,194 --> 00:10:16,364
♪ Of our lives ♪
237
00:10:16,431 --> 00:10:20,206
♪ We had nothing but times ♪
238
00:10:21,308 --> 00:10:24,047
♪ Remember the times ♪
239
00:10:24,114 --> 00:10:27,120
Okay, I might've missed
some of those specific moments,
240
00:10:27,186 --> 00:10:30,025
but I'm sure I'll remember
all the other ones.
241
00:10:30,092 --> 00:10:31,896
What else?
242
00:10:33,365 --> 00:10:35,302
♪ The kegger at Marge's ♪
243
00:10:35,369 --> 00:10:37,473
♪ What an epic night ♪
244
00:10:37,541 --> 00:10:39,745
Wait, there was a party
at my house?
245
00:10:39,812 --> 00:10:41,281
Where was I?
246
00:10:41,348 --> 00:10:44,420
♪ She was at
a tech run‐through ♪
247
00:10:44,487 --> 00:10:46,626
♪ Nowhere in sight ♪
248
00:10:46,692 --> 00:10:49,932
Guys, that's like,
pretty messed up.
249
00:10:50,834 --> 00:10:52,170
♪ Oh, yeah ♪
250
00:10:52,236 --> 00:10:55,142
♪ I was at that
super killer party, too ♪
251
00:10:55,209 --> 00:10:56,979
You weren't even in the show.
252
00:10:57,046 --> 00:10:58,616
♪ Yeah, but I was cool ♪
253
00:10:58,683 --> 00:10:59,919
(grunts)
254
00:10:59,985 --> 00:11:01,354
♪ Lenny fell off the roof ♪
255
00:11:01,421 --> 00:11:03,693
‐What?
‐♪ Marge's parents got sued
256
00:11:03,760 --> 00:11:06,732
♪ And had to file
for bankruptcy ♪
257
00:11:06,799 --> 00:11:08,937
Is that why I couldn't
go away to college?
258
00:11:09,003 --> 00:11:10,674
♪ Remember the time ♪
259
00:11:10,740 --> 00:11:13,412
♪ When Jackie died ♪
260
00:11:13,478 --> 00:11:15,015
Wait, I thought Jackie moved.
261
00:11:15,082 --> 00:11:17,486
- ♪ No one saw the signs ♪
- (gasps)
262
00:11:17,554 --> 00:11:19,123
♪ Together we cried ♪
263
00:11:19,190 --> 00:11:21,996
♪ And then we made it
about ourselves ♪
264
00:11:22,063 --> 00:11:23,967
♪ When the reporter came ♪
265
00:11:24,033 --> 00:11:26,304
‐What?!
‐♪ He worked for
266
00:11:26,371 --> 00:11:27,371
Which one?
267
00:11:27,406 --> 00:11:29,678
♪ The New York Times ♪
268
00:11:29,745 --> 00:11:31,883
♪ Such timey times ♪
269
00:11:31,949 --> 00:11:33,720
How'd I miss all of this?
270
00:11:33,786 --> 00:11:37,594
♪ We were all together. ♪
271
00:11:37,661 --> 00:11:39,264
Except me.
272
00:11:42,671 --> 00:11:44,875
(Disney princess voice):
♪ Script notes and sound cues
273
00:11:44,942 --> 00:11:48,583
♪ They never saw me
as a friend ♪
274
00:11:48,650 --> 00:11:51,656
♪ In my blacks in the backs
of the wings ♪
275
00:11:51,722 --> 00:11:54,895
♪ I was unseen ♪
276
00:11:56,699 --> 00:11:59,571
♪ So much for the magic ♪
277
00:11:59,638 --> 00:12:04,815
♪ No one wants old Marjorie. ♪
278
00:12:07,286 --> 00:12:08,823
(sobbing)
279
00:12:08,890 --> 00:12:12,496
(regular voice):
I was unpopular and never knew!
280
00:12:12,564 --> 00:12:14,467
All my best memories are ruined.
281
00:12:14,535 --> 00:12:17,473
I wish I had never done
this stupid musical again.
282
00:12:17,541 --> 00:12:21,448
As soon as Sasha showed up,
it was like I didn't exist.
283
00:12:21,515 --> 00:12:23,251
I never liked that Sasha Reed.
284
00:12:23,318 --> 00:12:25,890
Taking pop out of the fridge
without asking...
285
00:12:25,957 --> 00:12:27,426
getting us sued...
286
00:12:28,696 --> 00:12:30,499
Of course!
It's all Sasha's fault.
287
00:12:30,567 --> 00:12:33,773
Someone ought to teach
that Broadway big shot a lesson.
288
00:12:33,840 --> 00:12:36,746
Mom, do you
still have a computer?
289
00:12:36,812 --> 00:12:40,185
(dial‐up modem whining)
290
00:12:40,252 --> 00:12:43,960
Last night I made some
very interesting discoveries,
291
00:12:44,027 --> 00:12:47,968
requiring the printing
of a revised playbill.
292
00:12:48,035 --> 00:12:49,203
(clears throat)
293
00:12:49,404 --> 00:12:52,577
(Disney princess voice):
♪ I'll refer you to page three
294
00:12:52,644 --> 00:12:55,215
♪ To an updated biography ♪
295
00:12:55,282 --> 00:12:57,153
♪ Of which you must see ♪
296
00:12:57,219 --> 00:12:59,858
♪ Certain to change your view ♪
297
00:12:59,925 --> 00:13:04,400
♪ Of the beloved ingenue ♪
298
00:13:05,369 --> 00:13:06,839
♪ Sasha! Poof ♪
299
00:13:06,906 --> 00:13:08,241
♪ The truth ♪
300
00:13:09,177 --> 00:13:12,717
♪ She's never been in
a Broadway musical or play? ♪
301
00:13:12,784 --> 00:13:17,093
♪ She was never in Pippin,
Show Boat, or
302
00:13:17,159 --> 00:13:20,700
♪ She didn't sign autographs
at a stage door‐a? ♪
303
00:13:20,767 --> 00:13:25,577
♪ She worked at
the Herald Square Sephora? ♪
304
00:13:25,643 --> 00:13:28,081
♪ Lost hope, gave up
and moved the day ♪
305
00:13:28,148 --> 00:13:31,555
♪ She didn't get a callback
for Hairspray ♪
306
00:13:31,622 --> 00:13:34,127
♪ She's a fraudway baby ♪
307
00:13:34,193 --> 00:13:35,730
♪ A phony, a fake ♪
308
00:13:35,797 --> 00:13:39,571
♪ She ain't got what it takes ♪
309
00:13:39,638 --> 00:13:41,441
♪ She's a fraudway baby ♪
310
00:13:41,509 --> 00:13:43,880
♪ She doesn't know
Sutton Foster ♪
311
00:13:43,946 --> 00:13:45,449
♪ This broad's an imposter ♪
312
00:13:45,517 --> 00:13:48,756
♪ She's had you wrapped
around her finger ♪
313
00:13:48,823 --> 00:13:50,459
♪ For days ♪
314
00:13:50,527 --> 00:13:53,064
♪ But she's nothing
but a hair‐extentioned ♪
315
00:13:53,131 --> 00:13:55,002
♪ Makeup‐slinging,
Botox‐forehead ♪
316
00:13:55,068 --> 00:13:56,070
♪ Lying, cheating ♪
317
00:13:56,137 --> 00:13:57,137
♪ Baby fraudway... ♪
318
00:14:02,383 --> 00:14:04,287
♪ ♪
319
00:14:05,557 --> 00:14:07,226
So you don't know the people
320
00:14:07,293 --> 00:14:09,998
you said you knew
but who are they?
321
00:14:10,065 --> 00:14:11,869
Marge Bouvier, you're...
322
00:14:11,936 --> 00:14:13,171
mean!
323
00:14:13,238 --> 00:14:15,275
(sobbing)
324
00:14:16,612 --> 00:14:20,219
Well, I'm sure you're all
as angry at Sasha as I am,
325
00:14:20,285 --> 00:14:22,356
but now we can wipe
the slate clean
326
00:14:22,423 --> 00:14:25,763
and really come together
as a theater family.
327
00:14:25,830 --> 00:14:28,134
Without Sasha, there's no show.
328
00:14:28,201 --> 00:14:31,909
You ruined everything,
you... techie!
329
00:14:31,976 --> 00:14:34,013
But, w‐w‐wait.
She made it all up.
330
00:14:34,080 --> 00:14:35,750
She's a liar!
331
00:14:35,817 --> 00:14:37,687
I think this is
the kind of thing
332
00:14:37,754 --> 00:14:41,528
that makes people not want
to invite you to stuff.
333
00:14:41,595 --> 00:14:43,031
(growls)
334
00:14:48,609 --> 00:14:50,947
Stupid, ungrateful cast.
335
00:14:51,014 --> 00:14:52,917
Did you sleep at all last night?
336
00:14:52,984 --> 00:14:54,888
"We don't care
that Sasha's a liar."
337
00:14:54,955 --> 00:14:56,725
"We still love her
more than you."
338
00:14:56,792 --> 00:14:59,263
Mo‐om!
Bart replaced my Kashi cereal
339
00:14:59,330 --> 00:15:01,835
with woodchips
from the hamster cage!
340
00:15:01,902 --> 00:15:04,140
So? You didn't notice
till I told you.
341
00:15:04,206 --> 00:15:05,677
- (growls)
- (yelps)
342
00:15:05,743 --> 00:15:07,947
- What's wrong with Mom?
- Well, kids, your mother has
343
00:15:08,014 --> 00:15:10,853
severely pissed off
all the theater weirdos‐‐
344
00:15:10,920 --> 00:15:12,156
of which I am now one‐‐
345
00:15:12,222 --> 00:15:14,628
but she can't see
it's her fault.
346
00:15:14,695 --> 00:15:16,532
So... are you gonna tell her?
347
00:15:16,598 --> 00:15:21,341
Indeed I am, and there's
only one way to do it.
348
00:15:21,407 --> 00:15:22,577
♪ ♪
349
00:15:24,246 --> 00:15:26,250
♪ When your partner's
in a tizzy ♪
350
00:15:26,317 --> 00:15:28,188
♪ Flossing till she's dizzy ♪
351
00:15:28,254 --> 00:15:31,294
♪ Clearly in the wrong,
but certain she's right ♪
352
00:15:31,361 --> 00:15:33,899
♪ It's your responsibility ♪
353
00:15:33,966 --> 00:15:35,536
♪ To imply her culpability ♪
354
00:15:35,603 --> 00:15:39,009
♪ In a way that doesn't
instigate a fight ♪
355
00:15:39,076 --> 00:15:42,149
- (grumbles)
- Whoops.
356
00:15:42,216 --> 00:15:44,755
♪ Don't escalate the situation ♪
357
00:15:44,821 --> 00:15:46,391
♪ Or add further complication ♪
358
00:15:46,457 --> 00:15:49,463
♪ Mince your words,
so as never to encroach ♪
359
00:15:50,600 --> 00:15:52,035
♪ Deliver your advice ♪
360
00:15:52,102 --> 00:15:53,639
♪ But make sure to do it nice ♪
361
00:15:53,706 --> 00:15:57,112
♪ For it's best to use
a delicate approach ♪
362
00:15:58,014 --> 00:15:59,785
Marge, darling...
363
00:15:59,851 --> 00:16:01,354
Leave me alone!
364
00:16:01,421 --> 00:16:03,626
Marge, listen!
I'm being delicate!
365
00:16:03,692 --> 00:16:05,462
Oh, are you?
366
00:16:06,464 --> 00:16:08,745
♪ Now, I know you may think
you were just in your actions ♪
367
00:16:08,769 --> 00:16:10,849
♪ But it makes my heart sink
to see your infractions ♪
368
00:16:10,907 --> 00:16:12,787
♪ Your feelings were hurt,
but it's malice you blurt ♪
369
00:16:12,811 --> 00:16:15,516
♪ Your transaction
compels a retraction ♪
370
00:16:17,887 --> 00:16:19,591
Oh, you're right, Homie.
371
00:16:19,658 --> 00:16:21,027
It's all my fault.
372
00:16:21,093 --> 00:16:24,266
I did the one thing
a stage manager must never do:
373
00:16:24,333 --> 00:16:27,372
I put myself before the show.
374
00:16:28,475 --> 00:16:29,475
You see, kids?
375
00:16:29,511 --> 00:16:32,216
♪ It's best to use a delicate ♪
376
00:16:32,282 --> 00:16:33,652
♪ Approach. ♪
377
00:16:33,719 --> 00:16:34,955
(toilet flushes)
378
00:16:35,021 --> 00:16:36,825
I have to make things right.
379
00:16:36,892 --> 00:16:38,161
You need to let me see
380
00:16:38,228 --> 00:16:41,234
the cast‐only text chain.
381
00:16:41,300 --> 00:16:42,504
Yeah, I don't know.
382
00:16:42,570 --> 00:16:44,975
It's really not cool
for me to share it.
383
00:16:45,041 --> 00:16:47,514
Plus, you wouldn't get
any of the jokes.
384
00:16:47,580 --> 00:16:49,250
You might want
to skip over the stuff
385
00:16:49,316 --> 00:16:50,620
with your name in it.
386
00:16:50,686 --> 00:16:51,955
Sasha hasn't left town.
387
00:16:52,022 --> 00:16:53,659
There's still time.
388
00:16:54,928 --> 00:16:56,197
(sniffles)
389
00:16:56,264 --> 00:16:58,167
Why would Marge do that to me?
390
00:16:58,234 --> 00:17:00,138
I was never mean to her.
391
00:17:00,205 --> 00:17:01,675
I never even talked to her!
392
00:17:01,742 --> 00:17:04,648
Yeah, we don't care
that you only sell makeup
393
00:17:04,714 --> 00:17:07,185
and that you're a huge liar.
394
00:17:07,252 --> 00:17:09,490
I miss high school.
395
00:17:09,558 --> 00:17:12,129
Remember the night
of the cast party?
396
00:17:12,195 --> 00:17:15,402
You and me... in the hot tub?
397
00:17:15,468 --> 00:17:17,740
That night really happened?
398
00:17:17,807 --> 00:17:19,143
I thought I imagined it.
399
00:17:19,209 --> 00:17:20,713
It was real.
400
00:17:20,780 --> 00:17:23,251
And I've never had better.
401
00:17:23,318 --> 00:17:24,921
(grunts)
Ah...
402
00:17:24,988 --> 00:17:27,594
Sasha!
Sasha, I'm so sorry.
403
00:17:27,660 --> 00:17:29,496
Once my husband
sang and danced to me
404
00:17:29,564 --> 00:17:32,035
about what I did,
I felt terrible.
405
00:17:32,102 --> 00:17:34,774
I acted like
such a crazy teenager.
406
00:17:34,841 --> 00:17:37,412
All I wanted to do was
recapture my glory days,
407
00:17:37,479 --> 00:17:39,884
when I could've
become anything...
408
00:17:39,951 --> 00:17:41,387
instead of what I really am,
409
00:17:41,454 --> 00:17:43,892
a floor manager at Sephora.
410
00:17:43,959 --> 00:17:45,028
(sighs)
411
00:17:45,095 --> 00:17:46,263
Sales associate.
412
00:17:46,330 --> 00:17:49,303
I guess we both wanted
to be stars again.
413
00:17:50,105 --> 00:17:51,040
There she is.
414
00:17:51,107 --> 00:17:52,175
Probably called us here
415
00:17:52,242 --> 00:17:54,013
to expose the lies
the rest of us put
416
00:17:54,079 --> 00:17:55,650
in our playbill bios.
417
00:17:55,716 --> 00:17:56,952
What lies?
418
00:17:57,019 --> 00:17:59,123
I am
"thrilled to reprise my role
419
00:17:59,189 --> 00:18:01,628
- as Steve/
- Ensemble."
420
00:18:01,695 --> 00:18:03,766
I was supposed
to manage the stage,
421
00:18:03,832 --> 00:18:07,139
but instead I just managed
to screw everything up.
422
00:18:07,205 --> 00:18:09,143
But there's still time
to put on the best show
423
00:18:09,209 --> 00:18:11,147
of the latter part
of our lives.
424
00:18:11,213 --> 00:18:13,752
What do you say?
Should we give it a try?
425
00:18:13,819 --> 00:18:15,155
Oh, why should we?
426
00:18:15,221 --> 00:18:18,394
What has trying
ever gotten anyone?
427
00:18:18,461 --> 00:18:20,498
♪ ♪
428
00:18:21,868 --> 00:18:23,539
♪ I could've been a crooner ♪
429
00:18:23,605 --> 00:18:25,810
♪ Star of stage and screen ♪
430
00:18:25,876 --> 00:18:27,312
♪ But I'd just as sooner ♪
431
00:18:27,379 --> 00:18:31,020
♪ Drink away my dream ♪
432
00:18:31,087 --> 00:18:33,157
- ♪ Never try. ♪
- SASHA: Stop!
433
00:18:33,224 --> 00:18:35,295
That's the saddest thing
I've ever heard.
434
00:18:35,361 --> 00:18:39,637
Barney, nobody needs
to do this show more than you.
435
00:18:39,704 --> 00:18:43,177
♪ Except me! ♪
436
00:18:43,244 --> 00:18:44,581
- (cheering)
- Yay!
437
00:18:44,647 --> 00:18:45,950
♪ ♪
438
00:18:46,016 --> 00:18:48,054
It's a full house, so...
439
00:18:48,121 --> 00:18:50,993
♪ Places, everybody. ♪
440
00:18:51,060 --> 00:18:53,966
Marge, when I'm onstage
and it's not my turn to talk,
441
00:18:54,032 --> 00:18:56,505
- can I look at my phone?
- No.
442
00:18:58,509 --> 00:19:01,380
♪ ♪
443
00:19:13,237 --> 00:19:14,741
It's almost midnight.
444
00:19:14,808 --> 00:19:16,377
What's going to happen?
445
00:19:20,185 --> 00:19:21,120
Oops.
446
00:19:21,187 --> 00:19:22,623
Five, four...
447
00:19:22,690 --> 00:19:25,596
Three, two, one!
448
00:19:27,399 --> 00:19:29,704
- (cheering)
- So the show just ends?
449
00:19:29,771 --> 00:19:30,873
What a cop‐out!
450
00:19:30,940 --> 00:19:32,677
At least at the endof Rent
you get to see
451
00:19:32,743 --> 00:19:34,246
Mimi come back to life.
452
00:19:34,313 --> 00:19:36,150
This is just lazy.
453
00:19:36,217 --> 00:19:39,289
- ♪ ♪
- (cheering)
454
00:19:41,427 --> 00:19:44,366
Marge, thanks for reminding me
how good it feels
455
00:19:44,433 --> 00:19:46,671
to be a big fish
in a small pond.
456
00:19:46,738 --> 00:19:48,842
I guess that's why
you never left.
457
00:19:48,909 --> 00:19:50,779
Actually, I think
it was because my parents
458
00:19:50,846 --> 00:19:53,785
couldn't afford college
after a lawsuit from a party
459
00:19:53,852 --> 00:19:56,423
you threw at my house
but didn't invite me to.
460
00:19:56,490 --> 00:19:59,296
Such timey times.
461
00:20:01,000 --> 00:20:03,271
(sighs)
462
00:20:03,337 --> 00:20:05,441
Oh, my God, it's really her.
463
00:20:05,509 --> 00:20:07,045
It's Marge Bouvier.
464
00:20:07,112 --> 00:20:09,684
Just ask her.
465
00:20:10,686 --> 00:20:12,990
Um, would you please
sign my prompt bible?
466
00:20:14,259 --> 00:20:15,395
You know me?
467
00:20:15,461 --> 00:20:17,767
You're a stage‐managing icon!
468
00:20:20,539 --> 00:20:22,242
Would you go
to the diner with us?
469
00:20:22,309 --> 00:20:24,346
We'd die to hear
some of your stories.
470
00:20:24,413 --> 00:20:26,584
Invited to the diner.
471
00:20:26,651 --> 00:20:28,822
I'm getting cheese fries!
472
00:20:28,889 --> 00:20:30,325
♪ ♪
473
00:20:30,391 --> 00:20:32,128
Cast party at Marge's house!
474
00:20:32,195 --> 00:20:33,932
- (Sasha laughs)
- BARNEY: All right!
475
00:20:33,999 --> 00:20:35,736
KIRK:
Theater!
476
00:20:49,096 --> 00:20:52,636
- Y2
- K CAST: ♪ Five, four, three, two, zero, zero, zero
477
00:20:52,703 --> 00:20:54,206
♪ A new millennium ♪
478
00:20:54,272 --> 00:20:57,112
♪ But who will I be? ♪
479
00:20:57,178 --> 00:20:59,082
♪ Five, four, three, two ♪
480
00:20:59,149 --> 00:21:01,420
♪ Way too many zeros ♪
481
00:21:01,487 --> 00:21:03,491
♪ What will the computers ♪
482
00:21:03,558 --> 00:21:05,228
♪ Do to me? ♪
483
00:21:05,294 --> 00:21:07,165
♪ Will there be blackouts? ♪
484
00:21:07,232 --> 00:21:08,502
♪ Chaos? ♪
485
00:21:08,568 --> 00:21:10,506
♪ Motherboards exploding? ♪
486
00:21:10,572 --> 00:21:12,643
♪ Glitches and crashes? ♪
487
00:21:12,710 --> 00:21:14,479
♪ A run on the banks? ♪
488
00:21:14,547 --> 00:21:16,483
♪ Will I have a mortgage? ♪
489
00:21:16,551 --> 00:21:19,524
♪ A family?
A boy and a girl? ♪
490
00:21:19,590 --> 00:21:24,032
♪ What happens
to a two‐digit soul ♪
491
00:21:24,099 --> 00:21:27,907
♪ In a four‐digit world? ♪
492
00:21:29,042 --> 00:21:30,979
Shh!
493
00:21:31,029 --> 00:21:35,579
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