All language subtitles for The Neighborhood 4x02 - Welcome to the Intervention (English)

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:07,680 --> 00:00:08,920 Hey! 2 00:00:08,930 --> 00:00:11,250 Hey, Victor. What are you doing? 3 00:00:11,260 --> 00:00:13,420 What's it look like I'm doing? I'm showering. 4 00:00:13,430 --> 00:00:15,760 Yes, I can see that. 5 00:00:15,780 --> 00:00:17,589 But I really don't think you should be taking advantage 6 00:00:17,590 --> 00:00:20,510 of Calvin's property like this. It's... it's not right. 7 00:00:20,520 --> 00:00:23,000 Well, I'm on Calvin's property, but I'm using your water. 8 00:00:23,010 --> 00:00:24,640 Does that make you feel any better? 9 00:00:24,650 --> 00:00:27,520 No, it does not make me feel any better. 10 00:00:27,530 --> 00:00:28,620 Victor. 11 00:00:28,640 --> 00:00:31,070 I know you're not taking a shower in my yard. 12 00:00:31,080 --> 00:00:32,440 He sure is, but you know what, 13 00:00:32,460 --> 00:00:34,990 if it makes you feel any better, he's using my water. 14 00:00:36,030 --> 00:00:39,240 It would make me feel better if he was wearing pants. 15 00:00:41,280 --> 00:00:43,570 Let me get my paper, man. 16 00:00:43,580 --> 00:00:44,869 Oh, hey, hey, man. That's my towel. 17 00:00:44,870 --> 00:00:47,210 And that's my loofah, but you can keep that. 18 00:00:49,270 --> 00:00:53,450 - Synced & corrected by MementMori - -- www.addic7ed.com -- 19 00:00:55,720 --> 00:00:57,290 Oh, what? 20 00:00:57,300 --> 00:01:00,330 Yeah, and then he had the nerve to ask me for a towel. 21 00:01:02,470 --> 00:01:05,310 Man, ever since Crackhead Victor lost his house, 22 00:01:05,330 --> 00:01:07,210 he has taken his antics to a whole new level. 23 00:01:07,220 --> 00:01:09,310 - Yeah. - Yeah, if only there was a... 24 00:01:09,330 --> 00:01:11,990 a strong Black man who could talk to him. 25 00:01:12,010 --> 00:01:13,229 You know, someone in the neighborhood 26 00:01:13,230 --> 00:01:15,090 who everyone looks up to, 27 00:01:15,100 --> 00:01:17,910 and who just loves getting in other people's business. 28 00:01:20,800 --> 00:01:23,620 Nope, nope, not gonna happen. 29 00:01:23,640 --> 00:01:26,280 Every time I try to help him, I always get burned. 30 00:01:26,290 --> 00:01:29,200 Last time, he stole the seats out my truck. 31 00:01:29,220 --> 00:01:31,200 Had to drive to work in a lawn chair. 32 00:01:31,210 --> 00:01:32,840 Come on, Dave. We out of here. 33 00:01:39,560 --> 00:01:41,090 Hey, guys. 34 00:01:41,100 --> 00:01:43,260 Hey, Keisha! 35 00:01:44,460 --> 00:01:46,220 Hey, Uncle Que. 36 00:01:46,230 --> 00:01:49,760 Yo, I heard Keisha just broke up with Big Time Slim. 37 00:01:49,770 --> 00:01:52,040 Okay, I have always had a crush on her. 38 00:01:52,060 --> 00:01:53,289 And now that we're a little bit older, 39 00:01:53,290 --> 00:01:54,930 it's finally time for me to shoot my shot. 40 00:01:59,080 --> 00:02:01,747 Listen, save your marshmallow bullets, Cupid. 41 00:02:01,750 --> 00:02:04,490 - Right. - You're not exactly Keisha's type, bro. 42 00:02:04,500 --> 00:02:06,940 Yeah, man, she likes rappers. You know, thugs. 43 00:02:06,960 --> 00:02:08,910 Dudes with tattoos and swag. 44 00:02:08,930 --> 00:02:11,200 You know, basically everything opposite of you. 45 00:02:11,210 --> 00:02:12,580 Yeah. 46 00:02:12,590 --> 00:02:14,020 Trust me, I'll get my chance. 47 00:02:14,040 --> 00:02:16,040 And when I do, I'll be ready. 48 00:02:16,050 --> 00:02:17,460 Okay. 49 00:02:17,470 --> 00:02:18,540 Bye, Uncle Que. 50 00:02:22,270 --> 00:02:23,670 Thanks, Marty. 51 00:02:25,850 --> 00:02:28,590 Top of the morning to ya! Oh. 52 00:02:39,070 --> 00:02:41,780 Well, this has gone too far. 53 00:02:41,800 --> 00:02:45,450 So, Gemma, what's got your husband's tight khakis in a bunch? 54 00:02:46,380 --> 00:02:49,320 We just found Victor napping in our car. 55 00:02:49,330 --> 00:02:50,370 What? 56 00:02:50,380 --> 00:02:53,540 Yeah, he says the pine smell helps with his allergies. 57 00:02:54,300 --> 00:02:55,810 Aw... Calvin, honey. 58 00:02:55,840 --> 00:02:58,120 I think it's time for you to talk to Victor again. 59 00:02:58,130 --> 00:02:59,260 No, babe. 60 00:02:59,280 --> 00:03:02,220 I've been down that road with him too many times. 61 00:03:02,240 --> 00:03:03,590 It's a dead end. 62 00:03:03,600 --> 00:03:06,320 Calvin, you watched Victor grow up. 63 00:03:06,350 --> 00:03:08,220 He was like a nephew to you. 64 00:03:08,230 --> 00:03:10,510 Wow, I didn't know you and Victor were that close. 65 00:03:10,520 --> 00:03:13,120 Oh, are you kidding me? Calvin loved Victor so much, 66 00:03:13,140 --> 00:03:15,120 that when Victor wanted to become a barber, 67 00:03:15,130 --> 00:03:17,560 Calvin let him practice on his hair. 68 00:03:17,570 --> 00:03:19,860 And it was that love that saved his behind 69 00:03:19,880 --> 00:03:22,110 when he pressed and curled my hair like Al Sharpton. 70 00:03:24,940 --> 00:03:27,820 Wait, so you guys knew Victor before he started using? 71 00:03:27,830 --> 00:03:29,210 Yeah. 72 00:03:29,230 --> 00:03:32,240 He got hooked after he was deployed to Afghanistan. 73 00:03:32,250 --> 00:03:34,060 Oh, what a shame. 74 00:03:34,080 --> 00:03:35,680 He risked his life for our country, 75 00:03:35,700 --> 00:03:37,500 and then he ended up on the streets. 76 00:03:37,510 --> 00:03:40,220 You know, the VA has a rehab program to help veterans. 77 00:03:40,240 --> 00:03:41,710 I could probably get him some help. 78 00:03:41,720 --> 00:03:43,950 Yeah, you know what, look, I can handle Victor. 79 00:03:43,960 --> 00:03:45,880 Calvin, you've done enough. 80 00:03:45,890 --> 00:03:49,220 I once helped my college roommate kick NoDoz. 81 00:03:52,310 --> 00:03:53,720 Calvin, please go save my man. 82 00:03:55,840 --> 00:03:57,590 Okay, Dave. 83 00:03:57,610 --> 00:03:59,980 Now listen, in order to help Victor, 84 00:04:00,000 --> 00:04:01,740 - first we got to catch him. - Mm-hmm. 85 00:04:01,760 --> 00:04:03,760 And when he's using, he gets super skittish 86 00:04:03,780 --> 00:04:05,640 when he feels threatened, so... 87 00:04:05,660 --> 00:04:08,520 we got to treat him like a wild bear in a mosh pit. 88 00:04:08,550 --> 00:04:10,740 Calvin, I got this. 89 00:04:10,750 --> 00:04:13,660 People don't call me Speedy Johnson for nothing. 90 00:04:13,670 --> 00:04:15,740 Nobody calls you Speedy Johnson. 91 00:04:15,750 --> 00:04:18,820 - Everybody calls me Speedy Johnson. - Oh, my... 92 00:04:20,300 --> 00:04:22,190 Okay, here comes Victor. 93 00:04:22,200 --> 00:04:24,660 Remember what I said. Don't move. 94 00:04:24,680 --> 00:04:26,920 Hey, Victor. Uh... 95 00:04:26,930 --> 00:04:28,510 can I talk to you for a second? 96 00:04:31,940 --> 00:04:34,060 Go! Go, go, Speedy! 97 00:04:39,740 --> 00:04:41,270 Victor, get back here! 98 00:04:46,420 --> 00:04:48,150 No, Victor, no. 99 00:04:48,890 --> 00:04:49,900 Victor! 100 00:05:02,050 --> 00:05:03,960 Yeah, I wouldn't do that if I were you. 101 00:05:03,970 --> 00:05:05,670 I got him. 102 00:05:12,640 --> 00:05:14,420 - Nice haircut, man. - Thanks. 103 00:05:21,860 --> 00:05:22,940 What just happened? 104 00:05:22,950 --> 00:05:25,230 Crack, Dave. Crack happened. 105 00:05:25,240 --> 00:05:26,400 All right, come on. 106 00:05:27,300 --> 00:05:29,780 Mmm, you know what this cupcake needs? 107 00:05:29,790 --> 00:05:31,200 A paying customer? 108 00:05:33,880 --> 00:05:36,660 Sorry. I'm just always hungry all the time. 109 00:05:36,690 --> 00:05:37,830 I'm eating for two. 110 00:05:37,840 --> 00:05:40,370 Yeah, well, right now you're eating for free. 111 00:05:43,340 --> 00:05:45,580 Oh, I'm so happy you're both here. 112 00:05:45,590 --> 00:05:46,669 I'm looking for some fashion advice 113 00:05:46,670 --> 00:05:48,210 from some cool, hip women. 114 00:05:48,220 --> 00:05:49,759 - Oh, thank you, baby. - Oh, that's so sweet. 115 00:05:49,760 --> 00:05:50,799 Yeah, but since I couldn't find any, 116 00:05:50,800 --> 00:05:52,000 I thought I'd come to you two. 117 00:05:53,520 --> 00:05:54,680 Talk fast, boy. 118 00:05:54,690 --> 00:05:56,480 Okay, okay. Uh... 119 00:05:56,510 --> 00:05:59,620 It's time for me to go in a new direction, 120 00:05:59,630 --> 00:06:00,640 clothes-wise. 121 00:06:00,650 --> 00:06:02,640 I love any kind of makeover. 122 00:06:02,650 --> 00:06:04,300 Makeup, clothes, bathrooms. 123 00:06:04,320 --> 00:06:05,900 I live for a reveal. 124 00:06:05,910 --> 00:06:07,080 Okay, well, 125 00:06:07,100 --> 00:06:09,150 are you up-to-date on the latest street fashion? 126 00:06:09,160 --> 00:06:11,920 I'm gonna have to do some light Instagram stalking, 127 00:06:11,940 --> 00:06:14,580 - but I am sure I can figure it out. - Okay. 128 00:06:14,600 --> 00:06:17,110 Well, since I've got these cupcake orders to fill, 129 00:06:17,120 --> 00:06:18,990 I'm gonna leave my baby in your hands. 130 00:06:20,040 --> 00:06:22,040 Oh, hell nah! 131 00:06:26,590 --> 00:06:28,580 First, you eat up all my cupcakes, 132 00:06:28,600 --> 00:06:31,920 and then you turn my son into one of the Migos. 133 00:06:33,470 --> 00:06:34,740 Nailed it! 134 00:06:40,610 --> 00:06:43,270 Gemma got your boy nice. No cap, Tina. 135 00:06:45,000 --> 00:06:48,310 You call me Tina again, I'm-a cap that ass. 136 00:06:48,320 --> 00:06:49,560 - I'm sorry, Mama. - Yeah. 137 00:06:51,520 --> 00:06:54,820 Since we can't outrun him, we got to outthink him. 138 00:06:54,830 --> 00:06:56,540 All right? Give me your sunglasses, 139 00:06:56,560 --> 00:06:57,740 your phone and your wallet. 140 00:06:58,920 --> 00:07:00,280 Okay, come on. 141 00:07:00,300 --> 00:07:01,380 Yeah. 142 00:07:10,860 --> 00:07:13,170 All right. There. 143 00:07:13,180 --> 00:07:15,130 The crackhead trap is set. 144 00:07:16,810 --> 00:07:18,300 Okay, here he comes, here he comes. 145 00:07:18,310 --> 00:07:19,370 Hide, hide. 146 00:07:33,320 --> 00:07:34,530 Gotcha. 147 00:07:35,790 --> 00:07:37,450 All right, let me out of here, man. 148 00:07:37,460 --> 00:07:39,990 All right, look, Victor, all we want to do is talk, man. 149 00:07:41,580 --> 00:07:44,160 Okay, come on, Victor. I can always get another lamp. 150 00:07:47,840 --> 00:07:49,160 No, no, no! No! 151 00:07:49,180 --> 00:07:51,000 Not my Ed Sheeran autographed ukulele. 152 00:07:52,050 --> 00:07:54,710 Victor, listen to me, man. You better get off that table. 153 00:07:54,720 --> 00:07:56,800 You can't tell me what to do! I'm a grown man! 154 00:07:57,600 --> 00:08:00,430 What's going on? Why is Victor on my table? 155 00:08:00,440 --> 00:08:03,320 Boy, if you don't get down... 156 00:08:03,330 --> 00:08:06,390 I'm gonna give you everything your butt signed up for. 157 00:08:06,400 --> 00:08:07,980 Yes, ma'am. 158 00:08:09,820 --> 00:08:12,690 I'm talking about everything your butt signed up for. 159 00:08:18,790 --> 00:08:20,019 Man, when are they gonna get here? 160 00:08:20,020 --> 00:08:22,070 I'm ready to get this intervention on. 161 00:08:22,080 --> 00:08:25,200 Trey, why are you so excited about Victor's intervention? 162 00:08:25,210 --> 00:08:27,580 Because for the first time, I'm on the other side, player. 163 00:08:27,590 --> 00:08:30,370 Oh, yerp. What up, yo? 164 00:08:31,350 --> 00:08:33,540 Hey, hey, hey, hey. Sorry, man. 165 00:08:33,550 --> 00:08:35,000 The barbershop is closed. 166 00:08:35,020 --> 00:08:37,630 Malcolm, it's me, Marty. 167 00:08:38,880 --> 00:08:40,020 I know it's you, Marty. 168 00:08:40,040 --> 00:08:41,460 I'm pretending I don't know you. 169 00:08:41,470 --> 00:08:42,639 Man, go home and change! 170 00:08:42,640 --> 00:08:44,970 Hey, hey, hey, hey. Don't hate, man. 171 00:08:44,980 --> 00:08:48,570 I have the look of the Migos with the attitude of Ice Cube. 172 00:08:48,580 --> 00:08:51,440 You look like a wide receiver on draft day. 173 00:08:52,870 --> 00:08:54,140 What is this all about, Marty? 174 00:08:54,150 --> 00:08:55,610 Hey, man, just... 175 00:08:56,800 --> 00:08:58,170 Never mind. 176 00:08:59,440 --> 00:09:00,490 Marty? 177 00:09:02,350 --> 00:09:04,050 Is that you? 178 00:09:04,060 --> 00:09:05,460 Yeah, fo sho, baby. 179 00:09:05,470 --> 00:09:06,800 Fo sho. 180 00:09:06,820 --> 00:09:08,840 But the streets call me Big Mar. 181 00:09:10,400 --> 00:09:12,620 This is a way different look 182 00:09:12,640 --> 00:09:14,260 than what you were sporting earlier. 183 00:09:14,270 --> 00:09:17,980 Uh, yeah, that-that's because you caught me in my court outfit. 184 00:09:18,000 --> 00:09:19,080 You see... 185 00:09:19,110 --> 00:09:20,529 a bad man got caught 186 00:09:20,530 --> 00:09:22,470 for doing bad men things. 187 00:09:24,150 --> 00:09:27,190 It's like watching Al Roker try to Crip Walk. 188 00:09:27,200 --> 00:09:29,240 Yeah, you need to get with a real G like me, 189 00:09:29,260 --> 00:09:30,900 because I move in silence. 190 00:09:30,910 --> 00:09:33,950 Like the "G" in "lasagna." 191 00:09:33,960 --> 00:09:37,790 So, can a bad man walk a girl home? 192 00:09:37,800 --> 00:09:39,420 Fo sho. 193 00:09:39,440 --> 00:09:43,330 Like the song says, "Today was a good day." 194 00:09:47,730 --> 00:09:49,470 Where is it? 195 00:09:49,480 --> 00:09:51,800 Well, Victor, I lied to you. 196 00:09:51,820 --> 00:09:53,540 There is no cotton candy. 197 00:09:53,550 --> 00:09:54,630 I knew it. 198 00:09:54,640 --> 00:09:55,920 Okay, come on, man. 199 00:09:55,950 --> 00:09:58,930 Look, I had to get you to your intervention somehow. 200 00:09:58,950 --> 00:10:02,460 Victor, we know what you've been through. 201 00:10:02,480 --> 00:10:06,350 This is a chance for you to tell all of us how you feel. 202 00:10:06,360 --> 00:10:08,880 You don't care how I feel. 203 00:10:08,900 --> 00:10:11,310 When y'all look at me, all you see is Crackhead Victor. 204 00:10:11,320 --> 00:10:13,320 You know what, that's it, guys. 205 00:10:13,330 --> 00:10:16,560 First, we got to stop calling him Crackhead Victor. 206 00:10:16,580 --> 00:10:18,250 All right? Addiction is an illness. 207 00:10:18,270 --> 00:10:19,910 It's not who he is. 208 00:10:21,690 --> 00:10:23,330 Look, Vic. 209 00:10:23,340 --> 00:10:25,410 I know you feel like no one understands you. 210 00:10:26,100 --> 00:10:28,910 That's exactly how I felt when I came home from Iraq. 211 00:10:28,920 --> 00:10:31,210 Hold up, you're a veteran, too? 212 00:10:31,220 --> 00:10:32,360 Yeah. 213 00:10:32,380 --> 00:10:35,800 So I know firsthand how hard it can be to adjust to civilian life. 214 00:10:35,810 --> 00:10:38,310 Look, PTSD, it affects all of us differently, 215 00:10:38,330 --> 00:10:41,300 but you got to know, you're not alone. 216 00:10:41,310 --> 00:10:43,720 Nobody asked anyone to worry about me. 217 00:10:43,730 --> 00:10:46,720 Yet here we all are. 218 00:10:48,350 --> 00:10:50,060 Dave, tell him the plan. 219 00:10:50,070 --> 00:10:52,030 All right, well, look, it wasn't easy. 220 00:10:52,040 --> 00:10:55,000 I made a ton of calls, and all the rehab beds 221 00:10:55,020 --> 00:10:57,070 were taken in the neighboring VA hospitals. 222 00:10:57,090 --> 00:11:00,000 But I was able to find you a bed 223 00:11:00,010 --> 00:11:01,880 an hour away in Loma Linda, 224 00:11:01,900 --> 00:11:04,630 if... if you're ready. 225 00:11:06,210 --> 00:11:08,560 Look, man, we've all been working really hard 226 00:11:08,580 --> 00:11:10,470 to get you back to the old Victor. 227 00:11:12,880 --> 00:11:15,170 Newsflash, Calvin. 228 00:11:15,180 --> 00:11:17,390 The old Victor's gone. 229 00:11:17,400 --> 00:11:19,470 I left him back in Afghanistan. 230 00:11:19,480 --> 00:11:21,660 I came back to nothing but pain. 231 00:11:22,580 --> 00:11:24,050 My parents died. 232 00:11:24,070 --> 00:11:26,350 I lost my friends. 233 00:11:27,320 --> 00:11:28,810 I lost myself. 234 00:11:29,860 --> 00:11:32,100 The only thing that can help me with that pain: 235 00:11:32,110 --> 00:11:33,560 drugs. 236 00:11:34,820 --> 00:11:37,370 Hey, Victor, look, all my pops is trying to say... 237 00:11:37,380 --> 00:11:39,190 I know what he's trying to say. 238 00:11:39,200 --> 00:11:41,480 But I ain't trying to hear it right now. 239 00:11:41,490 --> 00:11:43,840 Victor, I swear, if you walk out that door, 240 00:11:43,860 --> 00:11:44,870 I'm done with you. 241 00:11:48,810 --> 00:11:50,950 Victor. 242 00:11:50,960 --> 00:11:52,120 Come on. 243 00:12:03,820 --> 00:12:04,980 Ooh... 244 00:12:06,300 --> 00:12:07,880 That movie went hard, right? 245 00:12:07,900 --> 00:12:09,930 Yeah. Yeah. 246 00:12:09,940 --> 00:12:11,340 You know, I give it two guns up. 247 00:12:11,360 --> 00:12:13,480 Pow, pow. 248 00:12:15,540 --> 00:12:17,740 You know, when we were younger, 249 00:12:17,760 --> 00:12:19,920 I always thought you were cute. 250 00:12:19,930 --> 00:12:23,150 Just a little too nice and soft, if you know what I mean. 251 00:12:23,160 --> 00:12:25,260 Oh, yeah. I hear you. I hear you. 252 00:12:25,280 --> 00:12:28,840 But, you know, maybe sometimes being nice and soft 253 00:12:28,860 --> 00:12:30,330 isn't so bad. 254 00:12:30,340 --> 00:12:32,120 Maybe. 255 00:12:32,140 --> 00:12:34,160 But I like roughnecks like you. 256 00:12:34,170 --> 00:12:35,900 Oh... Yeah, yeah. 257 00:12:35,910 --> 00:12:37,720 That tickles. 258 00:12:39,570 --> 00:12:41,820 Tell me, Big Mar. 259 00:12:41,840 --> 00:12:44,710 What's the baddest thing you've ever done? 260 00:12:44,720 --> 00:12:46,930 Oh, uh... 261 00:12:49,020 --> 00:12:50,380 Hmm... 262 00:12:50,390 --> 00:12:52,200 I mean... 263 00:12:52,220 --> 00:12:54,820 One time, 264 00:12:54,830 --> 00:12:57,570 I took spare change and threw it in a sacred well. 265 00:12:58,920 --> 00:13:01,360 Oh. "Spare Change" is a rapper's name, right? 266 00:13:01,370 --> 00:13:03,220 Yes. Yeah, yeah. 267 00:13:03,250 --> 00:13:05,389 Uh, yeah, yeah, let me straighten it out for you, baby. 268 00:13:05,390 --> 00:13:08,160 Okay. So, Lil Spare Change was a wannabe rapper. 269 00:13:08,170 --> 00:13:11,410 I took him and DJ Dollar Bill and threw them in that well. 270 00:13:11,420 --> 00:13:14,000 You feel me? 271 00:13:14,010 --> 00:13:16,790 - I feel you, Big Mar. - Ooh. 272 00:13:16,800 --> 00:13:19,010 I feel you. 273 00:13:20,560 --> 00:13:21,680 Errbody do, baby. 274 00:13:22,930 --> 00:13:24,700 Errbody. 275 00:13:27,680 --> 00:13:30,120 Hey, hey, what you ladies up to? 276 00:13:30,140 --> 00:13:33,380 Oh, just looking through old photos of the neighborhood. 277 00:13:33,400 --> 00:13:37,100 You know, people, places, Victor. 278 00:13:37,110 --> 00:13:38,600 Oh, no. 279 00:13:38,620 --> 00:13:40,680 Look, I've done everything I can. 280 00:13:40,700 --> 00:13:43,380 Even Dave tried. You-you were there. 281 00:13:43,400 --> 00:13:45,230 He almost lost his baby guitar. 282 00:13:45,240 --> 00:13:49,240 I hear what you're saying, but, aw... 283 00:13:49,260 --> 00:13:51,410 look at this old picture of Victor 284 00:13:51,420 --> 00:13:53,980 - and Calvin. - Aw, Victor looks so good there. 285 00:13:55,020 --> 00:13:56,080 - Ah. - Aw. 286 00:13:56,100 --> 00:13:57,710 You remember that day? 287 00:13:59,180 --> 00:14:00,480 Yeah. Of course. 288 00:14:00,500 --> 00:14:02,680 This was Victor's senior prom. 289 00:14:02,700 --> 00:14:04,420 He didn't have money for a limo, 290 00:14:04,440 --> 00:14:08,760 so I rented a tux and chauffeured him and his date. 291 00:14:08,770 --> 00:14:10,240 That's so sweet of you. 292 00:14:10,260 --> 00:14:12,780 Yeah. After that, Victor signed up for the Army. 293 00:14:13,620 --> 00:14:15,020 You were so proud of him. 294 00:14:15,960 --> 00:14:18,770 Yeah. I was. 295 00:14:20,200 --> 00:14:22,100 Ooh, let me get my bat. 296 00:14:22,110 --> 00:14:23,480 Oh, it's just Victor. 297 00:14:24,140 --> 00:14:26,610 Oh, well, shouldn't you turn your alarm off? 298 00:14:26,620 --> 00:14:27,820 No, he's got the code. 299 00:14:27,840 --> 00:14:29,660 He'll leave once his sinuses clear up. 300 00:14:32,290 --> 00:14:33,750 Okay, I, um... 301 00:14:33,770 --> 00:14:35,170 I need you to do me a favor, baby. 302 00:14:35,180 --> 00:14:36,830 I need you to take these to Victor. 303 00:14:36,840 --> 00:14:38,750 Oh, no. Come on, Tina. 304 00:14:38,760 --> 00:14:40,390 No, no. 305 00:14:40,400 --> 00:14:42,020 I've done all I could do for this guy. 306 00:14:42,030 --> 00:14:43,960 I'm not going back out there. Forget about it. 307 00:14:43,970 --> 00:14:45,460 Come on, baby. If you do it, 308 00:14:45,480 --> 00:14:47,600 I'll act like it's your birthday tonight. 309 00:14:52,870 --> 00:14:54,340 O-Okay. 310 00:14:55,400 --> 00:14:57,930 But I still get my real birthday, too, right? 311 00:14:57,940 --> 00:15:00,060 Oh, most definitely. 312 00:15:02,300 --> 00:15:03,540 Victor. 313 00:15:05,020 --> 00:15:06,570 Come on, man. Open up. 314 00:15:06,580 --> 00:15:08,450 Mmm. 315 00:15:08,460 --> 00:15:10,360 Pine. That does smell nice. 316 00:15:11,710 --> 00:15:15,020 Look, Tina wanted me to give you this. 317 00:15:15,040 --> 00:15:16,160 I'm out. 318 00:15:16,170 --> 00:15:18,330 Hey, hey, wait, wait, wait. 319 00:15:18,340 --> 00:15:20,160 What's-what's this? 320 00:15:20,170 --> 00:15:22,300 I don't know. Tina must've put it in your bag. 321 00:15:22,310 --> 00:15:25,040 Yeah, I remember this. 322 00:15:25,050 --> 00:15:26,339 My dad's lawn mower had broken down, 323 00:15:26,340 --> 00:15:27,859 and instead of taking it to the repair shop, 324 00:15:27,860 --> 00:15:29,090 you taught me how to fix it. 325 00:15:30,300 --> 00:15:32,160 Oh, yeah. Yeah. 326 00:15:32,180 --> 00:15:34,940 And you used that lawn mower to start cutting grass 327 00:15:34,960 --> 00:15:37,140 in the neighborhood and make yourself some money. 328 00:15:37,160 --> 00:15:38,850 Bought your first pair of Jordans. 329 00:15:38,860 --> 00:15:40,000 Sure did. 330 00:15:40,020 --> 00:15:42,309 Only for them to be stolen by a crackhead. 331 00:15:42,310 --> 00:15:44,350 - The irony. - Hmm. 332 00:15:45,480 --> 00:15:47,020 Yeah. 333 00:15:50,100 --> 00:15:52,380 I didn't ask to be this way, Calvin. 334 00:15:53,500 --> 00:15:55,400 Not everyone wins at life. 335 00:15:55,410 --> 00:15:57,970 Look, Victor. 336 00:15:57,980 --> 00:16:00,740 Everybody has a story to tell, man. 337 00:16:00,760 --> 00:16:03,510 And luckily for me, I've been a part of yours. 338 00:16:03,520 --> 00:16:06,050 I remember when you were that scrawny little kid 339 00:16:06,070 --> 00:16:07,930 who just moved into this neighborhood. 340 00:16:08,940 --> 00:16:10,790 I remember taking you to get ice cream 341 00:16:10,810 --> 00:16:13,420 when you got straight A's in middle school. 342 00:16:13,430 --> 00:16:15,980 Or hiding you from your mama when you threw that boomerang 343 00:16:16,000 --> 00:16:17,850 through her picture window. 344 00:16:17,860 --> 00:16:20,060 Tore my butt up twice when she found me, too. 345 00:16:24,360 --> 00:16:25,600 I miss you, Mama. 346 00:16:29,600 --> 00:16:30,960 Look, man. 347 00:16:32,040 --> 00:16:34,780 I don't care about all the stuff you've done. 348 00:16:34,800 --> 00:16:36,910 All right, I know you. 349 00:16:36,920 --> 00:16:38,970 The real you. 350 00:16:38,980 --> 00:16:40,370 And, uh... 351 00:16:42,340 --> 00:16:46,290 Well, I love you too much for this to be how your story ends. 352 00:16:46,300 --> 00:16:49,250 But... that's not up to me. 353 00:16:50,950 --> 00:16:52,660 It's your story. 354 00:16:57,660 --> 00:16:59,890 Tonight was on point, Big Mar. 355 00:16:59,910 --> 00:17:02,720 Oh, yeah, you know, the best part of the night for me was... 356 00:17:04,440 --> 00:17:05,580 That part. 357 00:17:07,320 --> 00:17:09,640 Mmm, cherry. 358 00:17:09,650 --> 00:17:11,470 Good night, Big Mar. 359 00:17:11,480 --> 00:17:14,330 Uh, yeah, good, uh, good night, Kiki. 360 00:17:26,160 --> 00:17:28,880 So, how was your date, Nice Cube? 361 00:17:31,180 --> 00:17:32,750 Man, it was exhausting. 362 00:17:32,770 --> 00:17:36,580 I had no idea it was so hard being so hard. 363 00:17:38,770 --> 00:17:41,020 All right, check this, little bro. 364 00:17:41,040 --> 00:17:43,660 I know that Keisha has been your most wanted 365 00:17:43,670 --> 00:17:45,240 - since we were kids... - Yeah. 366 00:17:45,250 --> 00:17:46,810 But, Marty, you don't want a woman 367 00:17:46,820 --> 00:17:48,269 who doesn't dig you for you. 368 00:17:48,270 --> 00:17:50,660 You're right. 369 00:17:50,690 --> 00:17:53,950 And-and I-I plan on coming clean to Keisha, 370 00:17:53,960 --> 00:17:56,140 once we're married and have our twins, Luke and Leia. 371 00:17:57,080 --> 00:17:59,340 Look, man, you are my little brother, 372 00:17:59,360 --> 00:18:02,040 and I don't just love you, I like you. 373 00:18:02,050 --> 00:18:04,550 And I would hope that any woman you end up with 374 00:18:04,570 --> 00:18:07,050 would love you and like you, too. 375 00:18:08,220 --> 00:18:09,750 All right, man. 376 00:18:12,120 --> 00:18:15,970 God, if Keisha is for me, give me a sign. 377 00:18:21,700 --> 00:18:23,010 The Lord has spoken. 378 00:18:24,380 --> 00:18:26,740 Hey, I just got invited to a release party, 379 00:18:26,760 --> 00:18:29,350 and there's only one bad boy I want by my side. 380 00:18:29,360 --> 00:18:31,730 Oh, hell yeah, girl, I love album release parties. 381 00:18:31,740 --> 00:18:33,860 You're so funny. 382 00:18:33,870 --> 00:18:35,460 It's not an album release party. 383 00:18:35,470 --> 00:18:36,860 This is a prison release party. 384 00:18:36,870 --> 00:18:38,230 What? 385 00:18:38,240 --> 00:18:39,860 Lil Murder Junior just got out. 386 00:18:39,870 --> 00:18:42,030 But his name is Lil Murder Junior! 387 00:18:42,040 --> 00:18:43,700 Technicality. 388 00:18:44,790 --> 00:18:46,090 It's okay if I go freshen up? 389 00:18:47,340 --> 00:18:48,620 What? 390 00:18:48,650 --> 00:18:50,160 Technicality. 391 00:18:56,020 --> 00:18:57,200 Morning, Calvin. 392 00:18:58,570 --> 00:19:00,309 You want some help getting him off your porch? 393 00:19:00,310 --> 00:19:03,140 Nah. Just let him sleep it off. 394 00:19:05,650 --> 00:19:07,160 Okay, I'm ready. 395 00:19:08,070 --> 00:19:09,530 Ready for what? 396 00:19:09,540 --> 00:19:10,690 I'm ready to get help. 397 00:19:11,990 --> 00:19:13,730 Uh... 398 00:19:13,740 --> 00:19:15,439 Did I hear what I thought I just heard? 399 00:19:15,440 --> 00:19:16,790 Yeah, Dave. 400 00:19:16,810 --> 00:19:19,600 My man Victor here said he's ready to get help. 401 00:19:19,610 --> 00:19:22,480 Our man is ready to get help. 402 00:19:22,490 --> 00:19:24,820 - Our man is ready to get help! - Guys! 403 00:19:24,850 --> 00:19:26,160 This ain't helping. 404 00:19:27,500 --> 00:19:29,330 Hold on. Let me grab my keys. 405 00:19:29,340 --> 00:19:31,800 - Be right back. - All right, well, come on. Hurry up. 406 00:19:33,380 --> 00:19:35,169 Hey, hey, hey. Ain't you gonna get dressed first? 407 00:19:35,170 --> 00:19:37,130 You can't waste time when a man is ready. 408 00:19:37,140 --> 00:19:40,160 Victor, you are in good hands with me and Calvin. 409 00:19:40,170 --> 00:19:41,260 We got you. 410 00:19:45,150 --> 00:19:46,860 Hey, hey, hey, hey. 411 00:19:46,870 --> 00:19:48,930 Yeah, all right. Well, back it up. 412 00:19:53,490 --> 00:19:55,990 Okay, now we got you. 413 00:19:57,280 --> 00:20:00,320 It's true. And then, at the party, guns start going off, 414 00:20:00,340 --> 00:20:02,420 so I hit the ground, and Keisha says, 415 00:20:02,440 --> 00:20:04,110 "Real men don't duck." 416 00:20:06,410 --> 00:20:08,280 Well, sounds like it's bye-bye, thug life, 417 00:20:08,300 --> 00:20:10,290 and hello, Star Trek marathon. 418 00:20:10,300 --> 00:20:12,499 Man, hey, that's right, baby. 419 00:20:12,500 --> 00:20:14,250 The geek is back. 420 00:20:15,390 --> 00:20:17,510 Well, we knew that when you walked in in that sweater. 421 00:20:21,780 --> 00:20:23,680 Hon, you don't have to jump a car. 422 00:20:23,690 --> 00:20:26,260 No man living off of crack and Now and Laters 423 00:20:26,280 --> 00:20:27,970 is gonna outdo me. 424 00:20:27,980 --> 00:20:29,309 - You know what, she's right, man. - Yeah. 425 00:20:29,310 --> 00:20:31,190 - Don't do it. - Eh? 426 00:20:31,200 --> 00:20:32,340 Until I get my camera ready. 427 00:20:32,350 --> 00:20:33,360 - Baby! - Calvin! 428 00:20:33,370 --> 00:20:34,499 No, this is gonna be good. 429 00:20:34,500 --> 00:20:35,901 - Oh, my gosh. - All right. 430 00:20:35,902 --> 00:20:36,909 - Okay. - Go! Yeah. 431 00:20:36,910 --> 00:20:37,940 - Oh, baby. - Yeah. Yeah. 432 00:20:37,950 --> 00:20:39,320 WorldStar! 433 00:20:45,030 --> 00:20:47,910 Aw, man. 434 00:20:47,920 --> 00:20:49,840 I didn't press record. 435 00:20:49,850 --> 00:20:51,120 You gonna have to do it again. 436 00:20:52,390 --> 00:20:57,390 - Synced & corrected by MementMori - -- www.addic7ed.com -- 30930

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