All language subtitles for The Big Leap - 01x02 - Classic Tragic Love Triangle.CAKES.English.HI.C.orig.Addic7ed.com

_

NICK: Has everyone been evacuated?

JESSICA: I think so. Awaiting
confirmation from set.

Are they okay?

I mean, they're covered
in crude oil, so no?

NICK: All right, talk to me.

We have Governor
DeSantis, the Coast Guard,

and Zach Peterman from the network.

God, what a horrible array of choices.

All right, give me the network. Come on.

- He's on whenever you're ready.
- Hey, Zach! How you doing, buddy?

Uh, here's the situation.

There was an accident on
an oil rig a few miles away.

It's currently dumping
about 40,000 gallons

of crude oil into the water,
but we're evacuating everyone.

It's completely under control.

- I knew this would happen.
- NICK: Really?

You knew there was
gonna be an oil spill?

ZACH: No, but I knew that
something would go wrong

when you take 12 people and put them

in a plexiglass house underwater!

This was a terrible idea!

Well, that's weird because you got into

a huge bidding war over it.

And it's the worst twenty millions
dollars we ever spent.

And we once did a show
called Burn That Money.

I want you to stop shooting.

Well, let's, uh, let's
think that through, okay?

Because we're getting some really
great stuff here, man, and it's...

Turn off the cameras! Stop shooting!

I am not kidding!

Copy that. You heard him, guys.

Everybody, stop shooting. Stop shooting!

Nick, tell me everyone got out safely.

Uh...

Hey, Zach, I got the Coast Guard
on the other line, buddy.

I'm so sorry. I gotta
call you back, okay?

- Thank you.
- Answer the question! Answer...

Ted and Eva refused to evacuate.

They wanna win the prize money.

- God, people are so dumb.
- [ALARM BLARING]

Okay, game on. Let's get Ted on camera.

I think it's important to
remember that nobody died.

Yes, they lived to bring
a multimillion-dollar

class-action lawsuit
against the network.

Can you explain why you kept shooting

after the network
specifically asked you not to?

My entire job is to keep shooting.

It was very compelling television.

You guys should air it.

I mean, you know, unless
you hate great ratings.

- [CHUCKLES]
- That footage was subpoenaed

for their civil suit.

Well, that's gonna be the
most entertaining evidence

they'll ever watch,
I can guarantee you that.

[EDGY MUSIC]

Is the network pinning this on me?

Because that's what it feels like.

Look, I'm dealing with
a custody battle right now.

I cannot be on the hook for this money.

I'll never see Henry again.

We aren't there yet.
Keep the network happy.

Make this dance show a success.

How's it going anyway?

[SIGHS] I don't know.
Swan Lake, ballet...

Is anybody gonna care?

- [WHIP CRACKS]
- [MOANING]

JULIA: So what do you think, Kevin?

I just started watching
this show you're binging.

Oh, my God, Julia!
You went into my computer?

No, no, I took it to the store,

and three 22-year-olds
explained to me

that my husband watches
seven hours of porn a day.

Are you masturbating from home today,

or are you going into the office?

Are you gonna make
a huge deal out of this?

You're also spending $2,000
a month on a webcam site

called My Kind of Pie, which seems...

SOPHIA: Whoa!

What is happening right now?

Your father's addicted
to internet pornography.

There are bagels.

Nice, Julia. Real nice!

Soph, take your sister to school.

- What the hell was that?
- SOPHIA: I don't know.

They're freaks.

- Did that feel good?
- No.

I'm doing the dance
show. It starts today.

- No, no, no, no, no.
- Yes, yes, yes.

You said you weren't doing that.

Well, I am... It might be my last chance

to dance again, and I am taking it.

I asked for whipped cream!

Do you see whipped cream on there?

Do you see whipped cream on there?

It's not what you wanted,
but I can't take it back.

It's a simple question.
Do you see whipped cream on that?

Would you please stop saying,
"Do you see whipped cream"

in that voice, okay?

What happened to
customer service, loser?

I don't know, lady!

What happened to the
American middle class?

What happened to
dignity? I have five jobs.

My wife left me. I'm
broken glass on the inside.

So enjoy your dumb coffee.

Oh, no. We got too mad.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry, it's just...

My daughter moved back in with her kids,

and they're awful.

My husband works from home,

and all I do is laundry.

It's okay. I get it.

Times are tough, you know,
but life'll turn around.

I was at rock bottom, and then
I auditioned for a dance show,

and I got in.

- Seriously? You're a dancer?
- Sort of.

The point is, out of
nowhere, second chance.

I'm gonna get my wife back.

But first, I'm gonna
get you another coffee

with whipped cream.

You don't have to do that.

No, this is the day both
of our lives turn around!

Be back in 15 minutes!

What do you think? Change out the top?

Mm, yeah, change out the top.

Is that what you're wearing?

She's changing out the top.

What about work? Did you
get a leave of absence?

What? No. I quit.

- [CAR HORN HONKS]
- That's Justin. I'm late.

You quit? Are you crazy?
You have a 401[K]!

- [GABBY GROANS]
- What is going on here?

Is this about that football player?

Of course it's not about
the football player!

Good, because he's
famous. He dates models.

GABBY: Why do you have
to crap all over this?

You encouraged me!

I did, but I didn't expect
you to ruin your life.

What do you think is gonna happen?

You're gonna become
a professional dancer?

Yeah, that's the idea, Mom,

that someone will pay me to dance.

Oh, yeah, somebody is going to pay me

to be a Victoria's Secret model.

Does it matter to you
that I hate my life?

Not you, Sam. You're great.

I know, Mama.

Maybe it's not too late to do

what I was going to do
before Sam came along.

No offense, Sam. You're the best.

None taken, Mama.

So if you don't believe
in me, that's fine,

because I believe in me.

This is my shot, and I'm going for it

so I don't spend the rest
of my life wondering what if!

Amen, sister!

Oh, brother.

- That was a lot of yelling.
- Just go.

MARTHA: ♪ Everybody dance now! ♪

[BOTH LAUGHING]

Synced & corrected by QueenMaddie
www.addic7ed.com

♪ Everybody dance now! ♪

♪♪

My dad would say,

"That boy gay as the morning sun."

As a queer man, I should be offended.

But in this case, I kind of get it.

GABBY: Oh, shut up. He looks fabulous.

[CHUCKLES]

GABBY: That looked awesome, you guys!

I know, right?

Uh, ladies and gentlemen, Reggie Sadler.

I cannot believe they got me doing this.
What's up?

What's going on there? That's a lot.

P.A.: All right, guys, let's go in!

- BRITTNEY: Okay.
- Big smiles when you walk in!

Big smiles!

[BELL RINGS]

Guys, what prevents us?

JESSICA: Waiting on the elevator.

Okay, guys, remember, you're excited!

All your dreams are about to come true!

Roll sound.

[HOPEFUL MUSIC]

♪♪

All right, cue the mirrors.

WAYNE: Hi!

[CONTESTANTS CHEERING]

Welcome! Welcome!

Come on. Who's popping? Who's popping?

[BACK-UP ALARM BEEPING]

Wait, a scissor lift?

[BEEPING]

Come on, guys. Shoot me
in the face. Let's go.

Flag on the play!

Everybody back in the elevator.
We gotta do it again.

NICK: And guys, seriously,
I need you more excited.

This is your dream!

What's the most excited
you've ever been?

I once won a raffle at a pet store.

Okay, well... well then,
channel that, then, all right?

Back to one. Let's do this again.

I want to see the excitement here.

Come on!

Whew. Why is this so small?

You said you liked it when
your hands looked bigger.

You're right. I did say that. Thank you.

[EDGY MUSIC]

♪♪

[SNAPS FINGERS] You two, over here.

Come on. No dawdling!

I'm so excited! Today is our first day.

We're casting our principal roles.

We're putting everyone
into groups of three.

We have a Prince, a White
Swan, and a Black Swan.

Now, the Prince falls in
love with the White Swan.

Then he leaves her for the Black Swan.

The classic, tragic love triangle.

Every group performs,

and that's how we find our principals.

You know, when I was coming
up, Dede Allen once told me...

NICK: No, what is she doing?

"In order to be a
star, you need three..."

The football player. Cut!

Hi, I just have a... I
have a note on this group.

Ladies, if you could step
back to the bar for me.

Reggie, you stay there. Come with me.

Gabby. Here we go. Look at this.

[REGGIE CLAPPING]

- Hell, yeah!
- The Prince. The Black Swan.

Brittney, come here, please.

Thank you. You're over here.

And White Swan. Look at that.

- Perfect.
- Perfect.

- Can I talk to you for a moment?
- Always.

Everybody else looks great.

I'm Brittney Lovewell. 66,000 followers.

And I'm verified.

[MISCHIEVOUS MUSIC]

That's what's up.

What are you doing?

- I'm doing my job.
- Uh, you're doing my job.

Well, your job is part of my job.

We're all executive producers.

Who's in charge here?

Me. Really, really me.

And I need Gabby

with the football player
that she's crushing on.

Look, it's all... It's all right there.

And I need Brittney right here

to make her feel insecure.

It's a whole, uh...
It's a whole story arc.

What's that got to do with dancing?

Nothing! The show's not about dancing.

I need people to bang. I need tears.

I need a fistfight.
I need an eating disorder.

Otherwise, why not just go to
the ballet and see Swan Lake,

which, oh, my God, how boring.

I don't like that girl.

Gabby? Are you crazy? I love her.

I don't think she's a good
enough dancer to be here.

None of them are good enough to be here.

Look at that. We just went in a circle.

Again, the show is not about dancing.

Now, let's go back out there
and make an entertaining show

that people actually want to watch.

[DRAMATIC ORCHESTRAL MUSIC]

♪♪

We didn't come on this show
to be partygoer number five.

No, we did not.

- Let's be clear.
- Crystal.

Ohh...

I danced ballet in Montreal
from the time I was a baby.

And it came to you naturally?

I feel like I was dancing
already in my mom's belly.

I was doing an entrechat quatre.

Do you think there's a ballet
dancer inside of everybody?

[CLASSICAL MUSIC PLAYING]

♪♪

- No.
- Five, six, seven, eight.

One, two.

Uh. Uh. Yeah, hi.

- Um?
- Yes?

Sorry, is it believable that
he would leave me for her?

I'm just asking.

GABBY: If I let girls
like her get to me,

I would never leave the house.

Whatever. I'm bringing
plenty to the table.

And she's also bringing
plenty to the table.

[MUFFLED GIGGLING]

Namely negative female stereotypes

and lotion that smells
like strawberries.

Our background is in ballroom dancing,

but we have a solid ballet foundation.

Plus, we were raised to be winners.

Oh, yeah, our mother, she used to say,

"It's either first
place or foster care."

Remember she used to tell us,
"The only excuse for losing

is getting shot in the face?"

Yeah. And, "Failures
sleep in the garage."

[BOTH LAUGHING]

- She's great.
- Yeah, the best.

Well, you know, I'm
determined to use this

as an opportunity to
get back in the NFL.

You know, in the past,
I've, uh, let myself get

a little distracted by girls
and partying, but not anymore.

So have you ever seen Swan Lake?

Yeah, yeah. Gabby put me on that, man.

That [BLEEP] was boring as [BLEEP].

SIMON: And Julia, go. Julia, go.

- Julia, go.
- JULIA: I'm going!

SIMON: Five and a-six and a-seven.

- JULIA: That's not the count.
- SIMON: You were early, Julia.

JUSTIN: You're beautiful.
Don't worry about him.

- He's off. Look. Look at him.
- Excuse me, you're pushing me.

- I'm supposed to walk this way.
- SIMON: No, you're not.

Port de bras, Justin!

Port de what?

Your upper carriage. Elbows lifted!

Spine straight! Feet pointed!

No, no.

Use the energy in your midline to turn.

I can spin on my head.

Not impressed.

Have you tried it?

Come on, boo. You can do it.

You just gotta point through your feet.

Not your boo!
Turns out I'm really bad at ballet.

Also, where did he get the tutu?

Does he keep it in his car?

♪♪

WAYNE: Mike?

The Black Swan is calling.

Yeah, yeah. No, I know.
I'm not doing that.

- What do you mean?
- Yeah, what do you mean?

I-I made a commitment to my swan.

I'm not just gonna run off
with some other swan, you know?

If it helps, I'm fine with it.

PAULA: I climbed the corporate ladder
at an auto company.

Wasn't easy.

And then I beat cancer.

I'm not gonna let this guy get
in the way of me getting a lead.

Uh, what are you going to do
to get him to dance with you?

I don't know. Where does he hang out?

Hey, what if we got
stripper poles on the stage?

Shut your mouth! No!

Mike, Mike, Mike, people
want to see the story.

Well, maybe people want
to see a stand-up guy

who doesn't just step out on his swan!

How's that for a positive message?

Now we're cooking with gas.
This guy cheated on his wife.

MIKE: I'm gonna take five, all right?

We've got a story.

NICK: We actually heard that you're here

- to try to get your wife back.
- Yeah, I am, I am.

This is the... This is the big idea.

I think she's going to
see I'm a changed man.

- I'm off the couch.
- What was the problem?

What went wrong between you guys?

Well, I was... I
worked at a factory, uh,

I was a foreman three years ago and...

- Wow.
- And, uh, my wife and I,

we had a house, we
were planning a family,

and then the...
The plant just... it closed.

And then with COVID,

I just started to feel,
you know, feel really small.

And then we just... buuuuh.
You know, we blew up.

That's tough.
Was there a third party involved?

What? Why would you ask that?

No, not to me. To over here.

Why would you even ask that?

Why would I ask that? Why
would I say that there?

I don't want... I don't
want that on the show.

It's okay. I think we're done.
We got it. We got everything we need.

Don't use that, please.

NICK: We're just gonna
take your mic off, okay?

I'm sorry, man, I didn't...
Didn't mean to cross the line.

I'm divorced. People make mistakes.

God knows I did, you know?

MIKE: Yeah.

Oh, uh, well, I di...

I... one time, I did...

I did make that mistake with a coworker,

and if Paige ever found
out, it would be...

yeah, ha, she'd never forgive me.

- I get it.
- So...

Yeah, can't have that
on... on TV, you know?

- You get it.
- NICK: No, I do get it.

But look, you gotta
stop beating yourself up

- about it, huh?
- Yeah, I know. I know. I know.

All right. Well, thanks, man.

- MIKE: Thanks.
- NICK: Yeah.

See you next time. Watch your head.

- Did you get that?
- Yup.

BRITTNEY: Two, three.

Hey, Brittney. What's up?

BRITTNEY: Oh my God,
are you following me?

Quit stalking me, you stalker.
You're freaking me out.

[PERCUSSIVE MUSIC]

♪♪

Oh, no. Gabby, come back.

[GROANS]

JESSICA: Who are you on?

ALLY: The Flute and the Tuba.

JESSICA: Are you getting
her making googly eyes

at the football player?

We have like an hour and half.

Nick says whoever figures out
the baby daddy gets a bonus.

ALLY: [WHISTLES] Seriously? Okay.

How much?

[PUNCHY MUSIC]

Put me in a different group!

Alan, what, we're just
letting them in now?

Is that what's happening?

- Get out of here, Gabby.
- I know what you're doing.

Okay, what am I doing?

You're casting me as the big girl

making googly eyes
at the football player

who everyone will laugh at

for thinking that she
can be the Black Swan.

All right, you signed
a 20-page contract, so shut up.

Also, that's a real
glass-half-empty POV.

How about some self-esteem?

Don't deliberately put me in a situation

that undermines my self-esteem

and then ask me why
I have low self-esteem.

That's a fair point.

But Gabby, I think
people are gonna love you,

and they're going to want to know more

- about you and your son.
- My son is off-limits.

And I'm not talking about his father.

He's not in the picture. Stop asking.

He's not in the picture?
Well, where is he?

- He's in Europe.
- Wow.

The country of Europe? Where in Europe?

I do this for a living, Gabby.

Are you going to put me
in another group or not?

I'm not. But, so you know,

you're not the only
one making googly eyes.

He is too.

Really?

Mm. Stop it.

I know what you're doing,
and I'm not falling for it.

Yeah, you are.

Did you want this closed, or...?

Well, not now 'cause everyone
seems to come in here.

They say creativity flows
through an open door.

Literally, no one has ever
said that until you said it

right in my open doorway! Close it!

JULIA: Well, I was working
at Saks in the '90s,

and one day in walks
this really cute guy

and asks me to help
him with a tie, right?

So I did.

And I think it... I think it
was the next day, wasn't it?

That you came back in and
asked me to help him again,

for another one.

Well, this went on and on and on, and...

He ended up with so many
ties. How many was it?

I think... it was a lot. It was a...

It was, like, three.
It wasn't that many.

No, it was a lot. It was more than that.

Anyway, he ended up asking me out,

and here we are, right?

Sorry, can you excuse me for just a sec?

[TENSE MUSIC]

Um...

I am going to go check on
him, make sure he's okay.

- NICK: Go ahead.
- So not like him.

[CLEARS THROAT] I'll be right back.

Let's go, let's go, let's go.

Gonna shoot an empty
couch? Come on, come on.

What's the first rule of Fight Club?

- ALAN: Don't forget to...
- No, filming. Filming, Alan.

What the hell was that, Kevin?

I don't want to do this.

JULIA: Okay, it's not too
much to ask after what you did.

KEVIN: God, is this about the porn?
Who cares about the porn?

Porn? Did he just say porn?

No, I think he said corn.

Yeah, Alan, I mean, they're
screaming at each other

over an undigestible vegetable.

No, I don't know, but
why would they do that?

They know we're right here.

'Cause people are dumb, that's why.

We know what we shouldn't
say, and we say it anyway.

We know what we shouldn't
do, and we do it anyway.

You lead people to the
cliff and they will jump,

every day, all day.

Is this about my social media?

Honey, I am trying to
normalize aging for...

- Normalize aging? Come on!
- Yes!

You are terrified of getting old.

It's so obvious!

[SIGHS]

I'm so unhappy in this marriage.

[SOLEMN MUSIC]

What are you saying? You
don't love me anymore?

I don't even know if I like you.

I'm gonna get a hotel this week

then look for my own place.

Your show's still out there.
You wanna go first or should I?

Let's go.

Hustle, but don't look
like you're hustling.

- Alan...
- JESSICA: Alan!

Hi. Uh...

I am so sorry; we're gonna
have to cut this short.

Kevin has food poisoning.

- Is it the corn?
- JULIA: The what?

- [CLASSICAL MUSIC]
- Eyes up, Justin!

Elbows lifted.

Elbows lifted!

I don't know what her mother did to her,

but I need to write
her a thank-you note.

Your posture's garbage!
Straighten that leg!

- JUSTIN: It's straight.
- You're not even trying.

- JUSTIN: I'm working my ass off!
- MONICA: Well, I don't see it!

I don't see any connection, either!

Stop yelling at me!

Stay framed up on them, guys.

I need crunchy singles and a wide.

Do the pirouette again.

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

[WHOOPING]

- NICK: Ah!
- What the hell!

You do my choreography, or you're out!

- Oh my God, I love her so much.
- Don't pet the snake.

- What does that mean?
- You know what it means.

Okay!

Well, that's enough
excitement for today.

Why don't we pick this all up tomorrow?

[BELL RINGS]

Ugh, I feel so bloated.

I had, like, two chips at lunch,

and I feel like you can see them.

Gabby, can you tell?

No. I think you're good.

Thanks.

I mean, you can't be a swan
with a burrito baby, right?

I don't know, I think that
any of us could be a swan.

You know, Brittney,

I'm way more scared of these
other girls than I am of you.

Shots fired!

Whatever.

That protein bar is full of sugar.

Oh my God, this bitch.

Yeah, I-I think that we should
all be supportive and accepting

of each other's bodies,
don't you, ladies?

Men pay 250 bucks an
hour to see this body.

- Please.
- Okay, well, that's disgusting.

TAMRA: You make that much stripping?

I'm in the wrong line of work.

Stripping, porn, endorsements, merch.

I get 100 bucks a pop
for my used undies.

[STAMMERING]

I have so many questions for you!

TAMRA: Is it true that they
pay less for girl-on-girl?

Can you walk me through choking?
'Cause I don't get that.

MIRIAM: How many UTIs do you get a year?

One at a time. One at a time.

I don't know why you
guys are so excited.

You have sex on camera for money.

Remember, like, 30 seconds ago

when we said we weren't
gonna judge each other?

I'm not judging her body.

I'm judging what she
does with it... harshly.

I think what you do is bad for women

and bad for families too.

Mm. Bye, Karen.

[APPREHENSIVE MUSIC]

♪♪

Are you okay?

Not okay.

Skeletor just threw a chair at me.

That's totally going in the promo!

She's hard on you because
she thinks you're talented.

While they're setting me up

to be the sad girl
who's crushing on Reggie.

You are crushing on Reggie.

Well, he moved my hair out of my face,

told me I was pretty,

and then lifted me over his head.

Yeah, that'll do it.

Hey, Gabby! Come check out my trailer!

[UPBEAT MUSIC]

Go!

Call me later and tell me what happened.

- Don't be weird.
- You don't be weird.

Get in there!

Look at this. The fridge is stocked.

REGGIE: Hell yeah, it is.

And, um, there is chocolates.

Show gave it to me.

They gave you a vibrator.
I didn't get mine yet.

- It's not a vibrator.
- [GIGGLES]

Here, let me show you.

Hmm? Give me your IT band.

No, because I already
called it a vibrator,

so now it just seems sexual... Oh!

[CHUCKLES]

Oh, yeah that's good.

So, you know I quit
my job for this show.

So it's nice that they gave the trailer

to the cast member most in need.

Was that sarcasm?

What, you think I'm just
here to eat chocolate?

No, I think you came
here to eat chocolate

and drink $10 coconut water.

Hmm, I'm here for a lot more than that.

I lost a $13 million contract.

[CHOKES, COUGHING]

My agent says if I can stay
off TMZ for the next two months

I might have a shot at getting it back.

Look, I know, that's
a dumb amount of money,

and I promise you I am not a douche bag.

I know you're not.

[FORCE MD'S' "TENDER LOVE"]

You want to grab some dinner
after the auditions on Friday?

Sure.

If I'm free, which
will likely be the case.

So yeah, I'll... I'll see you tomorrow.

See you tomorrow.

SINGER: ♪ Moment to come ♪

♪ So I can thank you ♪

♪ For all the tender
love you've given to me ♪

♪♪

♪ Tender... ♪

[CAR ALARM CHIRPS]

[INQUISITIVE MUSIC]

_

Hey, Mom, where's the frozen mangoes?

Oops. Pineapple.

Mango.

Mom, where is Dad?

I told you, he's on a business trip.

He never goes on business trips.

Well, this was an emergency.

So when is this vague

emergency business
trip gonna be over with?

I don't know.

We'll have to see how
long this emergency lasts.

Hey.

Being addicted to porn

is a lot worse than being
addicted to social media.

I mean, you can be
pretty annoying sometimes,

but that must really suck.

♪♪

Thanks.

JOEL: Hey, Mikey. Here you go.

MIKE: Over there in the...

- Now light, light, light.
- MIKE: Yes.

Think about jumping up, not coming down.

That's what I'm talking about, bro.

- That's right, right?
- Feels good.

How do you know all this?

I watched Misty Copeland's
masterclass during lockdown.

Yeah, how's the show going, Mike?

Bad... producer knows
that I cheated on Paige.

- How would he know that?
- Well, because...

Mike, I have to talk to you.

- Yo, who's she?
- I got a problem.

You're not dancing with me.

- He won't dance with you?
- Why the hell not?

He's the Prince, and he's supposed

to fall in love with the White Swan

but then leave her
for me, the Black Swan,

and he won't do it. What
are you guys drinking?

Bottom shelf whiskey.

Can we get five shots of Jack?

He doesn't think the Prince
would cheat on the Swan.

Why does it always come
back to stupid Paige?

ELLISON: You can't
change the story, man.

That's why the producer
knows you cheated.

You're dumb.

- You cheated on your wife?
- It was one time, okay?

And it was the biggest
mistake of my whole life.

JOEL: She doesn't know.

He thinks doing this show
is going to get her back.

None of us think that logic scans,

but we're being supportive.

This is beginning to make sense now.

And I appreciate the sentiment,

but listen, you gotta dance with me

because if you don't, neither
of us is gonna get a good part.

Okay. Okay.

- Then let's rehearse.
- Huh? What? Now?

- JOEL: All right.
- Now.

[SINGER VOCALIZING]

♪♪

JOEL: Mike, you're not emoting.

It's true, bro. You're
not giving me anything.

I'm giving you all I
got here, all right?

Do you feel a connection?
'Cause I certainly do not.

You got to give me a minute
to warm up, all right?

I'm still digesting
the mozzarella sticks.

I didn't want to complain,

but a little eye contact would be nice.

How can I possibly be
giving you more eye contact

than I'm currently giving you?

You're looking at me, but
you're not looking at me.

Where's the pathos, Mikey?
Where's the conflict?

Okay, I have to admit,

it's a little distracting
with Anthony in the role.

ANTHONY: You're just
making excuses, doc.

All right, you want a little pizzazz?

How's that? Yeah, that's it.
Now, I'm giving it.

ANTHONY: Now let the
pretty lady seduce you.

Pretty lady. Pretty lady over here.

Pretty lady right here.

There's a secret service
agent staring at us right now.

Oh, that's my driver, Franklin.

You have a driver? She's fancy.

Hey, Franklin!

[CLAPS] Again!

SINGER: ♪ I had to make a glow ♪

♪ I'm in love with you ♪

♪ That I'm in love with you ♪

♪♪

♪ You sure can know me ♪

♪ You just like a dream ♪

That's what I'm talking about, baby!

- [CROWD GASPS]
- [CLATTERING]

- What the hell?
- Do my choreography or...

Can I see?

Hey. Yeah, sure. Uh, you want a drink?

- MONICA: Yeah.
- NICK: Yeah?

Here you go.

- [CROWD GASPS]
- [CLATTERING]

You look insane.

And I mean that as a compliment.

Positive feedback's overrated.

You have to maintain control.

You're going to make
a wonderful mother someday.

Wayne said you injured your knee.

True story?

If I could dance on it,
I wouldn't be here.

Well, you should talk
about that on camera.

It'll give people some
context for your personality.

Can I also shoot myself on camera?

Well, it's a little dark, but I mean,

I guess I could run it by S&P, sure.

[MISCHIEVOUS MUSIC]

So how are you liking Detroit?

It's a cat box.

How are we gonna get through
the next three months here?

Hey, you're, uh... [CLEARS THROAT]

- You're consenting to this, right?
- Shut up!

MONICA: Do you have
any idea what it takes

to dance these roles?

None of you want it bad enough!

Julia, I feel like

we're too worried
about how we're looking.

I can't get this extension.

Well, feel the story.

The Prince promised to love you forever,

and now he's leaving you
alone, terrified, condemned.

[BELL RINGS]

- WAYNE: Stand up.
- I'm sorry. I'm good.

It's your process.

You need it to look right. Let's do it.

- Here?
- Yes.

I saw a little bit of
you background package.

You okay?

Well, my marriage is falling apart
and nobody likes me.

I like you.

You're just going through a
little bit of a transition.

Kind of feels like the
whole world is right now.

Transitions are hard and unflattering.

Hip down.

Extend the arm.

There. You're beautiful.

[WHISPERS] Thank you.

I feel so old. And I
don't ever say that.

I don't ever say that because
it feels like so many people

just can't wait to say
it, but, I do, I feel old.

[HEARTFELT MUSIC]

Okay.

Let's feel that.

- Ooh. Huh.
- WAYNE: Hmm.

What comes with age?

Osteoporosis, arthritis,

saggy boobs, lack of sex drive.

Hmm. I was going to say wisdom.

Well...

I was going to say regret.

Regret.

My ex-husband is 28 years old.

I married him because
I wanted to feel young.

I wanted to hold on to something.

I called him Talentless Neil.

He was beautiful, but he didn't
do anything but take my time,

my money, everything.

And at some point, I realized

I don't want to go back.

I want to go forward.

Okay. Well, I'm scared.

Isn't it a much more exciting story

if you don't know how it ends?

No.

[BOTH LAUGH]

[LIGHT MUSIC]

♪♪

Hey, friend.

I-I just... I wanted to
check in about last night.

I'm in the middle of a custody battle

and I got a lot riding on the show,

so I just want to make
sure that we're good.

- NICK: Hey.
- You pet the snake, didn't you?

- Hmm?
- WAYNE: Stop pretending to text!

You slept with your subordinate in 2021?

But, no, we're both EPs. We're equal.

Oh, that's not what you said yesterday.

But you better believe you're equal now.

Wow, that's... mm-mm.

Hey, Nick, when are you going
to let me sleep with you?

I want final say on the costumes!

♪♪

Hey, what's the matter with you?

I-I don't want to talk about it.

Why? What happened?

Hey, Brittney.

I brought Reggie smoothies
like a total idiot,

and Brittney was giving him a blowjob.

I'm so stupid.

Wait, uh, were there any cameras there?

- What? No.
- We missed a BJ... unbelievable!

Hey Nick, it's Alan's
birthday. There's donuts.

Hey, Jessica, Brittney just gave Reggie

a mouth hug in his trailer
and we missed it.

So I hope that's
the best donut of your life!

I can't believe I listened to you.

It's 8:30 in the morning.

This guy gets Wednesday morning oral,

and I haven't had sex in years,

and I thought I had
a good chance with him.

Okay, one, I don't think
the trailer ding dong party

means that he's in love
with her in any way.

And two, what does that
have to do with your dancing?

Uh, I'm supposed to be sexy
and confident and seduce him?

Hey, Nick! My mom sent donuts!

I'm partial to the chocolate myself,
but I'm happy to share it.

Hey, Alan, thanks so much.

No, a sex act just occurred
between two of our cast members

and this entire crew missed it!

So call your mom and tell
her she just ruined the show!

Will you stop yelling at people?

Hey, everybody needs to do their job.

My job is to start drama.
Their job is to shoot it.

Your job is to try to get a great part

and not get distracted
by some stupid guy.

Come on. Now, do you want the part?

Yes! I want the part! I want it so much!

So go get it.

Yes, people can tell that
you have a crush on Reggie,

and maybe some of
them will laugh at you,

but it doesn't matter, come on.

You beat yourself up too much.

Oh, am I being alive wrong?

Yes, you are.

Get mad at other people. Get mad at me.

Get mad at your son's
mysterious deadbeat dad.

Get mad at whoever told
you that you are not sexy.

You need to start
thinking about revenge.

[PUNCHY MUSIC]

♪♪

Sorry I'm late.

Oh, my God, your skin
looks so good right now.

Does my skin look that good?

- What are we doing?
- I'm helping you.

Because I'm the good
twin, and you're terrible.

Okay, start in fourth position.

Just do a quarter turn.

Don't be scared. I'll do it with you.

- Just a quarter turn?
- Yeah. Easy. And go.

- Who are you?
- [SIMON LAUGHS]

Has anything bad ever happened to you?

Uh, well, if you call
almost dying from meningitis

when I was 13 bad, then yeah.

Again, half turn this time.

- I'm sorry.
- No, don't be.

I had this terrible acne.
Okay, pull your shoulders back.

Come on, chest up. Stand
like a lady, please.

Don't... when did we start touching?

Oh, honey, I'm not flirting with you.

Even though it's super sexy how
uptight and judgmental you are.

I'm not judging you, okay?

Please, you have so much
internalized homophobia

I don't know how you get
out of bed in the morning.

So I'm gay and I'm homophobic?

I said what I said.

Full turn. Hey, eyes on me.

Anyway, when I had meningitis,

they gave me these radioactive steroids.

And when I emerged from
my medically-induced coma,

I was a gorgeous butterfly
with perfect skin. Worth it.

- That's beautiful.
- Thank you.

You know, I actually think
that the swan spell in the show

is an allegory for childhood acne.

Well, I know you think that's a joke,

but that's actually my secret
backstory for the Black Swan.

So... okay, two turns this
time. Don't think about it.

Just do it! Go!

- Oh!
- That didn't suck.

That was okay.

One second, please.

[KATY PERRY'S "SWISH SWISH"]

One sec. I got to go do something.

JUSTIN: Just... just pass it.

Jordan!

KATY: ♪ Swish, swish, bish ♪

Half-time show!

[PLAYERS CLAMORING]

KATY: ♪ Can't touch this ♪

♪ Another one in the basket ♪

♪♪

NICKI: ♪ Pink Ferragamo
sliders on deck ♪

♪ Silly rap beefs just
get me more checks ♪

♪ My life is a movie,
I'm never off set ♪

♪ Me and my amigos no, not off set ♪

♪ Swish, swish, aw, I got them upset ♪

♪ But my shooters'll make
'em dance like dubstep ♪

♪ Swish, swish, aw,
my haters is obsessed ♪

♪ 'Cause I make Ms, they get much less ♪

♪ Don't be trying to double back ♪

♪ I already despise you ♪

- Oh!
- Oh...

♪ Yeah, all that fake love you showin' ♪

♪ Couldn't even disguise you, yo ♪

♪ Winning, lay 'em up like ♪

♪♪

♪ Swish, swish, bish ♪

♪ Another one in the basket ♪

♪♪

♪ Can't touch this ♪

♪♪

[DRAMATIC ORCHESTRAL MUSIC]

♪♪

Please dance and cry at the same time.

Please dance and cry at the same time.

♪♪

[RHYTHM PICKS UP]

♪♪

[END NOTES]

Come on, kid. Let's bring it.

♪♪

Yes, yes, yes, yes.

WAYNE: Bravo!

Well done.

MONICA: Thank you.

[OVERLAPPING CHATTER]

I like the meter maid!

Guys, shut up! Shut up!
Everybody shut up!

This is not a democracy, okay?

Except... except between
the EPs. Who are all equal.

None of us has greater
power than the other,

which is great... which is great

and exactly how it should be, okay?

All right.

Okay, why don't we write down
our choices and then compare?

Thank you. Yes. Do you need some paper?

- Yes.
- They have colored. You want colored?

WAYNE: You all should be
so proud of yourselves!

You've exceeded my expectations!

You met mine.

Okay, someone's hungry.

Now, as you know, we are
casting the show gender blind.

So you are eligible for all roles,

not just the ones you danced.

So let's start with the role of
the Prince's mother, the Queen.

That role will go to...

[BELL TOLLS]

Great graphic.

- The Queen...
- Julia.

Come on up here, Julia.

But, but, but, we are
throwing a curveball!

Prince Siegfried has two mommies!

Raven, come on up here!

Yes, you! Come, come!

ANNOUNCER: Two mothers.

Why not?

MONICA: For the role of Benno,

the Prince's closest
friend and his wife...

WAYNE: Mike and Paula! Lovely couple.

ANNOUNCER: Benno and his wife.

WAYNE: Now for our villain.

Reggie, you will play the Wizard.

Come on up here.

I didn't know there was a wizard,
but that's cool, though.

ANNOUNCER: The Wizard.

And now for the Prince.

[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC]

There were many wonderful performances,

and as far as I am concerned, you all...

It's Claude.

WAYNE: Yes, it's Claude.
Congratulations.

ANNOUNCER: The Prince.

Now for the seductive Black Swan.

Again, this was not an easy...

Simon. It's Simon.

WAYNE: Congratulations, Simon.

ANNOUNCER: The Black Swan.

Now for the tragic White Swan,
it came down to two.

Gabby and Brittney.

- Brittney. Congratulations!
- [BRITTNEY SCREAMING]

ANNOUNCER: The White Swan.

The rest of you will be
wedding guests and swans.

Oh, wait, I almost forgot
the most important role.

Gabby! Come up here.

You are the understudy!

ANNOUNCER: The understudy.

For what part?

All of them. You will learn every role.

And in the unlikely event
that someone can't perform,

it will be your time to shine.

Congratulations!

Hey, good job today, Gabby.

Not good enough. Was that Monica's idea?

No, that was... it was
my idea. And it's genius.

You have to learn all of the parts.

That sucks for you. It's perfect.

Look, everybody loves an underdog.

I've been doing this a long time, Gabs.

Keep your eye on the prize.

REGGIE: Yo, you were amazing out there!

It's like... like we
were connected, you know?

We still getting dinner?

Oh, uh, you know what?

I forgot I had plans with some friends.

- Shoot.
- Oh, okay.

- Maybe another time then.
- Yeah, maybe.

Ah! God! Hi.

These are the rules:
it wasn't a one-time thing.

It's going to happen again.

But you won't know
when. It's not forever.

How long will it last? I'll decide.

You will never have my phone number.

Your phone number's on the call sheet.

That's not my real phone number.

You will never initiate an encounter,

and I will never spend
the night with you.

You... you want to come over tonight...

I just said you don't get to initiate.

- Anything else?
- Yes.

If anyone finds out about us,
you'll never touch me again,

and I'll ruin you.

Oh, and I liked it
when you pulled my hair.

Do that again. Not now!

Wayne knows!

I'm so dumb.

[DRAMATIC CLASSICAL MUSIC]

♪♪

_

Synced & corrected by QueenMaddie
www.addic7ed.com