All language subtitles for Moonshine s01e02 Escape Goat.eng

Lidia: Previously
on "moonshine."

Nora: My big sis,
lidia, is back in town.

- (cheering)
- my daughter's an anarchist,

My son's clinically depressed,

Uh, my marriage might be
over. Just a goddamn mess.

- (reads) "I, felicia finley,

Leave my piece of the
moonshine to lidia."

- What?

- You've always
wanted what's mine.

This is how the
war starts, lidia.

- "may she finally
turn this shithole

Into something worth a damn."

(birds chirp, radio clicks on)

Nora: Hey, hey, fox den,

Anyone in need of some
high octane, renewal juju?

Life needs a kick in the ass?

Well, you're in luck, losers,

Because it is summer
solstice time.

("big yellow taxi" by
joni mitchell plays)

? with a pink hotel ?

Nora: In some towns,

Virgins drink from
magical wells.

Other towns turn druid and
dance around giant stones.

My town feeds its
sins to a goat,

And they barbecue
the poor bastard

In a quest for sweet,
sweet absolution.

(text alert chimes)

That's right, it is
time for the moonshine's

Annual anything-goes,
goat roast.

The time of year when
you, your loved ones,

Even that sexy tent buddy
whose name you can't remember,

Get to beach-party 'til ya barf.

What's that? Nothing to hide?

No sordid sins to absolve?

Fresh out of crack
pipe confessions?

Then, giddy up, still plenty
of time to make some mistakes.

? Hey, farmer, farmer,
put away that ddt now ?

(engine rumbles)

? gimme spots on my apples ?

? but leave me the
birds and the bees ?

- Absolutely not! That's
not what we discussed!

No! I don't care! I don't
care what you're saying!

Absolutely not!

? That you don't know what
you've got 'til it's gone ?

? you paved paradise and
put up a parking lot ?

(trailer squeaks, door bangs)

(engine rumbles)

Less wanking, more working!

You're both late!

???

? and the big yellow taxi
took away my old man ?

- Daniel, hey.

Yeah. I-I know. Sorry.

Uh, signals for shit. Hold on.

(engine roars)

? they paved paradise,
put up a parking lot ?

- Somebody's happy.

- Dingo in a donut box.

- Or there's a body out back.

- I put her in
charge this weekend.

- Of my goat roast?

- Oh, you're on bed rest.

Besides, we're too
old to absolve sins.

- People change.
- (chuckles) we're not people.

- Hold on, hold on.
Can you hear me now?

Okay, I think I got ya. Ugh!

Daniel: Have you told the
kids about the separation?

- No, and do not
say I'm avoiding.

- The girls have been avoiding
each other since the memorial.

This weekend should be fun.

- Lidia and goats.
No, not her speed.

- It's gonna be a bloodbath.

Daniel: I just don't understand
what you're still doing there.

- This is where I need
to be right now, okay,

In control of my own destiny,

Taking care of my mom,
supporting my family...

(engine revs)

Having them support me.

I really think it's gonna
be different this time!

Ah! No! Call you back.

Rhian! No! No! No!

You knocked that down,
you stupid yellow

(indistinct shouting,
engine rumbles)

? it's my life, it's my life ?

? it's my life, my life ?

? it's my life, it's my life ?

? it's my life, my life ?

- There's no way
I'm staying here.

- (sighs) there is, and you are.

- Didn't even bring my retainer.

- Well, luckily teeth
don't move very fast.

- This is a hostage situation.

A legit kidnapping.
I'm calling dad.

- Your father is
swamped at the office,

And he agrees this is the best
place for you, this summer.

- What about what I want?
What's there to do here?

- What's not to do?

- Um, finish my doc about the
exploitation of sex workers

On the lower east side?

- Find another cause.

You okay?

At least happy-adjacent-slash-
not hating me?

- Yeah, it's fine, mom.

- Look, I know this is a lot,

And I kinda sprung it on you,

But I want you guys to
experience this place

Like I did back before, I dunno,

I resented the shit outta
everything my mom did, too.

- I don't resent you, mom.

(mocking)
- I don't resent you, mom.

- Finn, you are
free to resent me.

It's a healthy and
normal part of...

Shutting up now.

(sighs) bacon or sausage?

- What part of
ovo-lacto vegetarian,

Do you not understand?
(chair crashes) god!

(footsteps thud away quickly,
door creaks and slams)

(insects buzz, seagulls cry)

(water runs, indistinct singing)

- I can piss and hit a
mark at 15 feet, ilene.

- (indistinct singing)
- ugh.

Maybe we need to uh, get
the hell outta dodge?

Ryan: Why?

- Uh, because we
live in a campground?

- It's close to
work. Like, on work.

- It's true, it is
super convenient.

But still, just weird, you know,

Like your family's
around, all the time.

And I don't like the way
that rhian talks to you.

- She's just, you know,
super intense about the job.

- It's just, I was thinking,

The apartment over the
fluff 'n' fold is for rent.

- One-eye finally got evicted?
- Yeah.

- Did I call that, or what?
- Yeah. You did.

But like, think about
it. We could have like,

A private backyard, and a shower

That isn't directly over
the shitter. Blinds.

- Those digs are sweet,
but with what money?

- Well, maybe we could
sell the shrooms,

And then use the money
for first and last months.

- With a bit left
over to celebrate.

- Sure!
- You wanna get back in?

I think I missed a spot.
- Oh, yeah,

It's just that I'm serious,
babe, because that apartment

Isn't gonna be around
forever, so we need to harvest

The shrooms and start selling.

- Okay, right after
the goat roast.

- I dunno, I'm not
sure that I like

Competing with a
farm animal, ry.

- I promised my mom I'd help.

- Hmm. Can your mom
give you a blowjob?

- Harvest time it is!

???

- Woo!
- (splash)

(door slams, gravel crunches)

???

- (exhales)

- Why aren't you at the station?

- Uh, ken asked me to check
up on security protocols

For the weekend.

- Dad said "security protocols"?

- And uh, I thought
we could talk.

- We talked at breakfast.

- I thought of
more things to say.

- Well?
- Over dinner, maybe?

- Date night? No time.

Where is little miss
inheritance when the inbreds

In cabin 5 turn their
coffee maker into a bong?

- On top of the trailer, where
you left her all morning.

- There will be
time for sustenance

When the war is won, by me.

And remember whose
side you're on.

(footsteps approach quickly,
door opens and closes)

- I want peace. I
wanna be friends.

- We're sisters, the
opposite of friends.

- That's not a thing.
- Number 36.

Do not be friends
with lidia. Happy?

(footsteps thud)

- Uh, well, technically,

Technically, I'm your boss, now.

Dad told me he asked you
to organize the weekend

And I'm fine with that.

- I have a goat to pick up.

- Oh! Well, come
on, let us help,

Me and the kids.
Show us the ropes.

I barely remember the last
time I fed a sin to a goat.

- 1996. Lust monkey.

- Okay, fair. Mm-hmm.

But that was many sins ago,

And I-I'd like to
make up for lost time.

Rhian? Come on, seriously,

Let's work together.
No fighting, no ego.

- But I'm in charge?

- Pinky swear.

???

- Staff meeting at noon.
- Okay.

- So, who would like
to climb the roof

And spend the day
scraping bird excrement?

- Definitely lidia.
All: (chuckle)

- You're hilarious.
- Ryan, it is!

- That'll take all day!
- Better not,

'cause you're scraping
down the rental boats next.

I am also enforcing a strict
no-bare-feet-rule this year.

The last thing we need
is some drunk asshole

Suing us for slicing off
a toe with broken glass.

- Isn't barefoot kind of a vibe?

- Yeah, I'm not
really into the whole,

Wear-shoes-on-the-beach, thing.

Like, sand in shoes, shoes
in cabins, sand in cabins.

And next thing you know,
I'm on my hands and knees

With a vacuum hose,
for like, hours.

- Yeah!
- That is literally your job.

- Some of us have lives
outside of this place, rhian.

Dreams. Housing options?

- Heartwarming story. Moving on.
- Why so many changes?

Things have been running fine
for the past 40 years, right.

Potluck, people pay what
they can. We pony up a goat,

And a few kegs.
- One keg, domestic,

Is all we can
afford. Questions?

- Hmm.
- Anybody else?

Um, I once paid three grand
for a back to nature retreat

In the hamptons. Everyone
slept under the stars

To reconnect with the earth.
- And we care about

The adventures of some
rich asshole, why?

- We could turn our
lack of, into a plus.

- No wi-fi. We
call it off-grid.

Limited supplies.
It's called a cleanse.

Feeding sins to a goat.

Spiritual healing.
- Ooh!

- With a bit of a re-brand,
we could charge more.

Get a few wristbands,
coachella it up.

- Could solve our
cashflow issues.

- See? Sammy gets me.
- Yeah, hippie chic.

Whole new clientele.
- Uh, clientele?

- Ooh, frickin' fancy!

(gasps) I bet they tip large.
- Yeah!

- Do you think we could get
it together by the weekend?

- Oh, my firm did
dozens of pop-ups.

I could call my suppliers.
Bit of high-end d�cor,

Drop a few viral
hints, (clicks tongue),

Hipsters love last minute.

- Great! Show of hands?
- Oh, yeah!

???

- You responded to
my lady dick pic

With a fist bump emoji?

- I'm sorry, I-I
just, I feel like...

- Taking your pants off?
- Okay.

I know I made a ten-year
mistake marrying rhian,

And I know that you wanna wait
for the right time to tell her,

But all this sneaking around,

I just don't know if
I can do it anymore.

- Okay. Bye.

My producer's gonna be
back soon, anyway, so.

- That's it?

- I don't wanna put
you in a situation

That makes you feel
bad because the guilt

Is gonna make you spill
your feelings all over town,

And when news breaks
that nora finley-cullen

Is screwing her
sister's husband,

Who gets thrown in
the lobster pot?

The champion slut,
or mr. Squeaky clean?

- You're not a champion slut.

- I better be. Do
you think that you're

The only married
guy I've slept with?

("roxy roller" by
nick gilder plays)

(belt buckle jingles)

- I'm not so squeaky clean.
- Prove it.

- Wah! Okay. (giggles)

???

? flashlight dream ?

? peaches and cream delight ?

? roxy roller ?

Hey, terry!

? Five-bob job, she gets
bubble gum on her knees ?

(tires crunch)

? roxy roller ?

(door latch clicks)
beautiful day!

- Whatever you're
on, it's working.

- Optimism, spunk,

An entire can of dry shampoo.

I figured out a way to make

The goat roast
profitable this year.

- Ah! A pissing
contest with rhian.

- No! I'm trying to help,
and I hope you will, too.

- Have you discussed
this with mom?

You know how much
she loves change.

- Yeah, I don't
wanna... Bother her

'til the details are ironed out.
- Coward.

- She exhausts me.

I'm confident mom
will eventually accept

That without change,
comes bankruptcy.

Did you know they're six
months behind on water bills

And it's gonna cost 150k
to replace the septic?

- Hmm, pass!

- Please!

- Come on, I need you
to read this on air.

(paper rustles)
- (reads) "feeling baaa-d?

Come to the moonshine,
feed your sins to our goat,

And discover your
inner goddess."

This is some major bullshit.

- You know what's
some major bullshit?

You being too cool to
ever care about anything.

- I care about things.
- Such as?

- Parmesan crackers,
uh, these boots.

Hmm, sex?
- Hmm, right.

Top secret married lover man.

- Are you judging?

- No, but I am a little curious.

Have you ever considered
his poor, unsuspecting wife?

- What does this have
to do with goats?

- Absolution of sins, babe.

- A man's choice to cheat
on his wife is my sin, why?

- All alone. (inhales)

Shifting through the
shards of a toxic marriage.

Breaking her children's hearts,

Forced to start a new life
amidst impossible odds.

- You're the wife?

(sighs)

Daniel cheated, and
that's why you stayed.

- Maybe.

Which is why you should feel
super charitable and help me,

Before rhian shivs
me in my sleep.

(paper rustles)

- Okay, pharmacist said
to take these with food.

Wine doesn't count.
- Grapes are a fruit.

(pills rattle) did
you know eleanor

Is planning to go
back to new york?

All packed up, ready to bolt.

You haven't told the kids
about the separation, have you?

- I will.

- Days turn into decades, kiddo.

Just saying.
(footsteps approach)

Jill: Lidia, I didn't expect
to see you still in town.

- I decided to
stay a bit longer.

You know, keep an eye
on the inheritance.

- Treat her mother like a child.
- My mother should be in bed.

- So, you're gonna be here
for the goat roast. Lovely.

- So many sins, so little time!

- (chuckles) you behind
all these fun changes?

- Changes?
- Yeah, uh,

We decided to mix
it up this year.

- We?
- Yeah, goddess fest.

Female empowerment. Love it.

- I wanted to surprise you.

An estrogen-friendly
twist on weekend fun.

- She never asks me when she
knows it's gonna piss me off.

- How about you, jill?
Need any sins absolved?

- Oh, me and your mom have been
feeding the same sins to goats

For three decades, now?

- Oh yeah? How's that
workin' out for ya?

- (chuckles) bea?
- Great.

- Ah-ha. See? The
goddess will provide.

Best year ever. We are
gonna absolve so many sins.

Even yours, mom.

(receding footsteps thud)

- How long is she staying?

- Oh, she'll be tired of us and
back to new york soon enough.

- Yeah, well, you let me know
if you need any help with that.

- It'd be a shame if
she got in the way

Of our little arrangement.

(lighter snicks, sizzling)

(goat bleats)

- Hi, little goatie!

Oh, my gosh, she's so cute!

Demon eyes, but cute.

- Mean mothers. They
will eat anything,

If they are hungry
enough. Very territorial,

Just like that skinny
blonde one back at the farm,

Clearly trying to move in
where she doesn't belong.

- Wish I could take
her back to new york.

- When is your mom
going home, anyway?

- No clue, but I'm out of here
as soon as dad sends money

For a plane ticket.

(gate thuds)

- So, why a goat?

- Oh, you know "scapegoat."

(hammer bangs)

It was your grandma's
idea, when we were kids.

We could choose one thing we
wanted to erase that year,

And then have one
hell of a feed.

- What do we feed it?

- Oh, no, it feeds us.

We roast it on the
fire. It's delicious.

Well, first, we string it up,
and then we, (clicks tongue),

You know, bleed it up.
- (goat bleats)

- You wanna murder, then
eat, this beautiful creature

After it's helped
absolve your sins?

- No body, no crime.
- (goat bleats)

???

(goat bleats)

- Guard this with your life.

???

- We need to stop the
senseless goat slaughter.

- Yeah, right after
the fish massacre.

- There's blood on our
hands if we let them

Go through with this.
- We can call peta.

- The local chapter's
like, one guy,

And he's a total dick.
- Oh.

Uh, okay, so what's
your plan, then?

- We paper the
town with posters,

Like really blood ones
of slaughterhouses.

We block the gates
with a protest.

- Man, if we make enough
noise, like, we could go viral.

- Liberate the
lobsters, the goats,

And our souls.
- Huh.

- (scoffs)

(scraping sound)

- I was hoping to
find a finley-cullen!

- Wasn't me!

- Hey, how does a newbie
get a tour of this place?

- I wish I could oblige.

- Four hands make swift work.

(lobster trap rattles)

No better way to know a place.

Never been much of a relaxer.

- Seagulls and algae, man!

Some day, they'll
be our overlords!

I'm ryan.
- Oscar.

- So, moonshine been
busy this summer?

- Same old. Hopin' to see
some new faces this weekend

If big sis has got
anything to do with it.

- Lidia, right?
- One and only.

- She deal with
the uh, day-to-day?

- Not yet. (exhales sharply)

That'd be my mom and dad.
Rhian's the big cheese.

Likes to boss me around,
that's for damn sure.

- Must be expensive to run.

Really high margins aren't uh,
a thing in a seasonal business.

- Yeah, I guess.

- How do your folks keep
this place afloat, anyway?

Little side hustle
they got goin'?

Sorry to pry. I would
just hate to see

A place like this
so special go under.

- Nobody tells me shit
about the money stuff.

(exhales sharply) but
that don't matter.

Just me and my girl,
we got our own thing.

Big payday, right
around the corner.

- Do tell.

- Can you keep a secret?
- (scoffs) to the grave.

(sizzles) (coughs loudly)

(door creaks open)

- Magic mushrooms!
Organic, home-grown,

Limited batch, psilocybin.

Next gen high.
- Serious operation.

- Mushies were my
ticket to sobriety.

- My higher power.

- Sounds intense.

- Like a lawnmower of
truth, man! Ha, ha!

- Big local market?
- Bro, it's the moonshine.

It's the wild west,
anything goes,

And everyone's
invited. (laughs)

- Of course.

Hello, hello.
- (keys tapping)

Ryan: Growing up big
and strong, aren't ya?

Yes you are! Oh,
you're doing so...

(suspenseful music) (chuckles)

Onshine.

No, I don't know
anything about a goddess.

This is a campground,
not a colon cleanse.

Goat? Yes, we have a goat!

???

Demon whore!

(door bangs open)
- oh, hey. Too low?

- I didn't approve this.

- Oh, come on, you're
not seriously upset

About a little d�cor.
- Pinky swear?

I'm in charge?
- If guests are paying extra,

They're gonna expect extra!
- There's more?

A yurt. What?!

A pop-up juice bar,

Hmm, flower-scented edibles.

How are we paying
for all of this?

- Suppliers get paid when we do.

Yeah, I know, we're
still in the hole

For the lobsters your kid stole.
- Rhian, chill.

We already have 50
confirmed bookings.

Hold this a sec?

Okay.

???

(waves lap)
- woo!

???

- Ryan, the oldest son,

Running drugs off the property.
- Heroin? Meth?

Is this tied to the
missing shipping containers

Out of the port of halifax?
- Not sure.

Mushrooms, small crop,
but where there's smoke,

There's fire.
- Shrooms aren't worth the shit

They're grown in.
- Okay, granted,

Ryan is not the sharpest
axe in the woodpile.

- Yeah, he's a drunk.
Dozens of duis.

He's not capable of
remembering his middle name,

Let alone masterminding
a smuggling ring.

- Maybe, but with a little bit
of pressure, I can, you know...

- I need something
concrete - phone records,

Double set of
books, actual drugs.

- Ryan's twin sister, rhian,

She's in the know and
I get a vibe from her.

- See? Strategy.

Go after the sister,
get her to trust you.

- Yeah, all about the trust.

- Get a real in, or I'm
bringing your scrawny ass home!

- Hey!

? When you're smiling ?

- (happy sigh)

? the sun is
shining hey, hey ?

- Looking good!

(mic feedback)

- Okay, testing, testing.

- You love me.

- Even shitshows
need a soundtrack.

- (chuckles)

Oh, see, that's the
spirit of goddess fest,

Everyone working
together. Female energy.

Where do you want this?
- Uh, by the yurt.

- (gasps) you said yurt. Oh!

- So, what's on-
what's on the deck?

- Oh, why, you think you're
gonna get to control this?

- Well, a few requests.

A music person, you know
that. You can be the...

(indistinct chatter, music)

(steps thud)

- Now I know why
you wanted to talk.

- Rhian, look, I...
- Admit it.

(sighs) admit
what you've done.

- Things haven't been good
between us for a long time,

Okay? You and me,
we just don't...

- Nope, we don't.

- Which is why you...

Agreed to help lidia
with her stupid idea?

- Yes. Yeah, I-I did agree

To help move speakers and
carry yoga mats, but...

- What's that, clipboard?

My husband is sleeping
with the enemy?

Ryan (over radio): Rhian, we
have a situation at the gate.

(golf cart beeps on, rumbles)

- This isn't over.

- Goats deserve justice!
- (honk) get out of the way!

- Meet goats! Not goat meats!

- This is utterly ridiculous!
- Goats deserve justice!

- Stop the slaughter...
- Hey! What is going on!

Woman: Move!

- You told me to find
another cause; I found one.

- You're gonna upset
your grandparents.

- They should be upset.
They're serial killers.

- Ugh, el, I know
you're passionate,

And I respect that,
but this is tradition.

Not everyone objects
to eating goat meat.

- Her name is susan b. Anthony.

- And my name is mom,

You know, the woman who
grew you in my body,

And until you're 18, has
a say over what you do

And do not have control over?

- You know, maybe
she's right, el.

- Yes, yes, I am
right. Thank you, finn.

- You want me to abandon the
cause you told me to get?

- Just go put your
flower crown on.

Man: Come on, move!

(gravel crunches)
man: Thank you!

- Mom's precious little suck
up. Let's get out of here.

- Not cool, bro.

Man: Come on. Woman:
It's about time.

- Lidia... You need a drink?

- Yes, I do!

- Cheers!

(both gulp)

- (burps) ugh, I've
raised socially conscious,

Compassionate citizens.

It's a total nightmare.

You're gonna same some sage,
vaguely insulting thing

About women in full
moons, aren't you?

- Yeah, probably.
Both: (chuckle)

- Rhian hates me.

- Yeah, there's
your sin. Self pity.

- More like, stupidity,

Thinking I could just
roll back into town

And the past would be forgotten.

- Maybe you and rhian
should just have it out,

Once and for all.
- Funny advice from a pacifist.

- Well, I've had my
share of squabbles.

- You? Please!

- Oh, I've earned my mellow.
- (chuckles)

- Ugh, another fight with rhian

Is the last thing
I need right now.

I-I have to believe
it's all gonna be fine,

That this weekend will
be a huge success,

That the spirit
of goddess fest...

(lawnmower rumbles)
will prevail, and...

(wood snaps)
- whoa!

(confused reactions)

- Hey! Watch it!
- Bring it, bitch.

(indistinct chatter,
goat bleats)

- Whoa! (28:03

- Have you seen my clipboard?

- Uh, no?

- Agh! Frig!

- (party laughter)
- (angry breathing)

(slippery squish)

(goat bleats)

- (deep inhale)

(gravel crunches, golf
cart stops abruptly)

- Have you checked
out goddess fest?

It is so cool!

- All hail, la lidia!

- We are gonna move
so much product!

- I have to talk to you.

- Okay, no, you know what? I'm
so glad that you said that,

Um, because I wanna be
sensitive to your needs.

I know that this
is the only place

That you have ever
lived, but I promise you,

We're gonna make that
apartment a real home!

- It's not that.

- (sighs) did something
go wrong with the harvest?

- We screwed up!
- How?

- Even I we sell the
stash at a premium,

Street value's for shit
on mushies these days.

- Who says?
- My new buddy, oscar.

- Oh. Hey, should
we be telling people

About our illegal mushroom
growing operation?

- No, no, oscar's not just
people, he's a mensch!

He's real smart and he says,

Meth or smuggling
is where it's at.

- How could we not know that?

Like, I thought that
you did research

Before we bought all
of the equipment.

- No-no. I thought you did.
- (inhales)

- Hmm.

???

- Wow, that was my
whole life savings.

I haven't even replaced my
hair extensions since may.

- Babe.

- (sniffles)

???

You know what? It's fine,

Because it is a little setback,

But we can fix it.

- Yeah, we, yeah, we can!

Crush it like a bug!
- Yeah! Ugh! (chuckles)

- How?
- Oh, I have no idea.

???

(cards rustle, thumps)

- (sighs)

- You hidin' out?
- Yep!

- Ground zero, goddess fest.

Bunch o' lawyers who spend

Hundreds of dollars
on stained jeans,

20-year-olds wearin'
woodstock t-shirts.

- With some big city bullshit.

- Yeah, it's cultural
appropriation.

- It's a distraction.
- Yeah, that's it.

Lidia's really
rallied the troops,

Everyone's working together.

- She hasn't told the kids
she and daniel are separating.

It isn't healthy.

- That's right, keepin'
secrets from your kids

And not talkin' about your
feelings, is unhealthy.

- (exhales) I shoulda sent
lidia packing after the wake.

This isn't the place for her.

- Tell it to the goat.

Lidia: Hi. Crystal: Hi!

You inspired me.

At first, I was
thinking face painting,

But face tattoos are
really having a moment.

- Who knew?
- The goddess did!

I have manifested 50
bucks, already. Ah!

(chuckles)

Get your-your
vishnu tramp stamp!

Get your venus butt roses!

Make your face
the constellation!

- Give one sin slip and
a pencil to each guest,

Please and thank you.
- What's your sin, mom, kidnap?

Accessory to goat murder?
Lying about your botox?

- It's for my headaches.

- Interesting crowd.
Nobody's puked yet.

- One sin slip.
- Thank you.

- Where is my clipboard?
- I have no idea.

- Theft of personal property can
result in immediate expulsion.

Moonshine by-law 65.
- (sighs)

- Do not walk away from me!

- You need to chill.

Peace, love, and goat
slaughter. Remember?

Is this a game to
you? Pass "go"?

Get out of jail, free?

Steal my ding-dang
office supplies?

- Unresolved trauma, number
one cause of addiction.

- Piss off, ryan.
- On it!

Hey, have either of
you guys seen the goat?

- Yeah, tied up,
where I left it.

- No! Escapee,
maybe. Hard to say,

But given the fact that it's
gone, I'd say it's gone.

- Did you steal the goat, too?

- Don't be absurd!

- What's next, mom
and dad's love?

- My husband?
- You know, there's meds for this.

- Oh yeah, that's right,
I'm crazy. Crazy rhian!

- You got braces,
what did I get?

Not therapy. Anything that
goes wrong with lidia,

It's all bow down, but
when it's me, bananas,

Overwrought, unable to conceive!

- You are clinical.

- Maybe, but this is
my asylum, princess!

- No!
- Whoa!

Two decades of
pilates. Try me!

- Oh, yeah?
- Hold that!

- Okay. Oy, oy, oy!

(angry grunting, mat thuds)
- get away from me!

- If you'd like to catch
two psychos going at it,

Come on down to the lodge!
- Shut up! Shut up!

- Two full-grown women fighting,

At a nice celebration of the...

- Hey, you bunch
of stuck up posers,

Do you know what this is?

This is loser fest!
(attendees gasp)

You're all delusional!

(grunting)

(both crash to ground)

(shouting) watch it! My shit!

Get her! (fighting screams)

(blow to face, attendees gasp)

(seagulls cry in the distance)

- This one wasn't me.
- I wasn't even there.

- Oh, boo hoo,
saint sammy. Eat me.

- They started it.
- Okay, fine, it's my fault.

Happy? But in all fairness, I
tried to keep you out of it.

- Oh, quit sucking up and
tell me who stole my goat?

- Probably eleanor.

- Poor thing, having to witness
her grown aunts and uncles...

- Seriously? Parenting advice?
Look how we turned out.

- Uh, speak for yourself.

- Admittedly, I
have a few issues.

- Okay, rhian is right,
no goat, no goat roast.

No goat roast, no income.

We're gonna be tits-deep in
guests demanding refunds,

And I know nobody
wants to see my tits.

- Where are we gonna
find another goat

On a holiday weekend?

- I have an idea.

(rollers rumble on track)

- Okay, keeping an open mind.

- Do you remember last year,
when I was unjustly robbed

Of the title of lobster queen?
- No.

- I wore the sexy
bo peep costume.

- Oh! No.
- It was on facebook.

- We're not friends, remember?
- I do.

- Oh, can you get to the point?
We-we have a crowd waiting,

And it's a few
hours 'til sunset.

(tarp crinkles)

- My bo peep sheep is hollow.

Plenty of room for sins.

And I looked super hot in
my costume, by the way.

- On chinese new
year, in central park,

We send hollow paper dragons out

Over the jackie
onassis reservoir.

- What's that, you
lived in new york?

You've never
mentioned that before.

We'll float the sins out over
the great oceanic beyond,

Instead of burning
them in the hell fire

Of charred animal flesh.
I can work with this!

Woman: My turn!

Nora: Okay, people, bit
of spiritual improv, here.

We'll be feeding all
sins to a paper sheep,

Which will then float
out over the ocean,

Where hopefully some poor
seal doesn't choke to death.

Drone dvds, 20 bucks.

Witness the celebration from
the eye of the goddess herself!

- You almost sold that.

- Not the most
subtle remodel, lids.

- People seem into it.
- Yeah, they're high.

- Oh I know. It's my add-on,

Flower of the goddess
edibles. Right?

Hey, did you get a couple?

- Whoa.

You emancipated the goat.
Way to hostage release!

- Wasn't me.

???

- You let the goat out?

- While you guys
were complaining,

I actually did
something about it.

Anarchy in action.
- Dude, you are insane.

(chuckles)

???

- Here.
- I'm on duty.

- Oh, you'll do things when
lidia asks, but not me?

Please, terry, just do it!

Come on, she's giving
out more than me!

- Oh, frig's sakes!

???

Man: Don't let him bite you.

(indistinct chatter)

(paper rustles)

- Happy now?

- Oh, rhian!
- I don't have time to fix

Your plumbing again right now.
- No. No-no-no,

I just wanna say, great
job with all this.

Your siblings speak
very highly of you.

- (scoffs) wrong rhian.

(indistinct chatter)

(frogs croak, insects buzz)

(waves lap)

("the wind" by
cat stevens plays)

(fire crackles)

(indistinct chatter)

Woman: Oh, that looks so cute!

? I listen to the wind,
to the wind of my soul ?

- (chuckling)

? where I'll end up, ?

? well, I think only
god really knows ?

Woman: Oh, there he goes!

(chatter, laughter)

(in awe) wow!

- And there they go,
people, all your sins.

God speed.

???

- So beautiful!

- Whoa...

- I'm kinda diggin' this.

- Yeah. (chuckles)

- Oh, shit! Oh, shit!

I gotta get the drone footage!

(drone buzzes)
- get your sexy pilot on, babe!

? I listen to my words,
but they fall far below ?

Crystal: Wooo!
- (laughs)

- Ryan, you missed the launch!

Look. You're flying too low.

I need a shot up over the water.

- Don't think you
get how hard this is,

Especially when you're really,
really trippin' on mushrooms.

(chuckling)

- Give it to me.
- Oh!

Woman: Bon voyage, goat.

- Yeah, this stick is the, yah.

Oh, no, no. No, no, no, no...

(drone crashes into sheep)
- oh! Oh, shit!

(all gasp)
- shit.

? I let my music take me
where my heart wants to go ?

Woman: The sins!
(papers flutter)

???

- Ooh, the goddess is not happy.

- Eat your heart out, fellini.

? I'll never, never,
never, never ?

(papers rustle)

? I'll never make
the same mistake ?

? I'll never, never,
never, never ?

???

Man: I think this
is your wife's!

- Ew!
- (indistinct chatter)

- Then who is my father?

- What kind of psycho
hates avocados?

Attendees: What is this one?

No way!

- You aren't gay?

- Oh, god!

- The clientele
would like a word.

(indistinct chatter)

- Sorry, here.

Still beautiful, though.

This is part of the experience.

(ominous music)

Man: I knew it! I knew it!

I've had enough. Stop it! No!

(indistinct chatter)

???

- (mouths) terry?

(hushed) your sin
is safe with me.

- Gimme that! Gimme
that! Gimme that!

(gulps loudly)

(indistinct whispers) what?

(grass rustles)
- what did it say?

(yells) what did it say?!

- Uncle. Fine! Damn it!

I'm sleeping with your husband.

(crowd gasps)
- oh!

- That actually
wasn't what I wrote.

But yeah, I'm
sleeping with nora.

(crowd gasps)

I'm sorry, I-I
tried to tell you.

- (breathes shakily)

???

(goat bleats)

Oscar: The goat came back!

- The is all your fault.

???

(music intensifies, goat bleats)

(goat bites off
finger, blood gushes)

- Ahh!
- Oh, my god!

(woman screams)
rhian: Waaaaaaah!

(crowd screams)

Ahhhhhhhh!
- Oh, rhian!

- Oh, hey.
- (rhian screams)

(screaming continues, fades)

(indistinct dispatch
radio chatter)

(footsteps thud, papers rustle)

- (softly) hey.

(footsteps crunch)

- What do you want now?

A kidney?

- Oh, I just wanted
to tell you that

Everyone's out
looking for the goat.

You know, to see if maybe
they can retrieve...

- Stop talking.
- Okay.

Oh, um, I found
this! (chuckles)

- Would you mind adding
something for me,

Please? My finger, you know.

- Yes, of course, of course.

(lid pops off) okay.

- Number 43...
- Mm-hmm.

- D-I-e.
- Mm-hmm.

(marker rasps)

(pops lid back on,
clipboard thuds gently)

(ground crunches under foot)

(footsteps recede)

(rhian sobs)

(sniffles)

(door creaks open and shuts)

(footsteps crunch)

- I like your clipboard.

- Beat it. Please.

- I mean it. My boss mocks me.

I'm an analog guy
- lists, laminate,

Nothing gets me going
like a swift checkmark.

Got passed over twice
by I.T. Yes-men.

(scoffs) hard to hold
on to your values

In a digitized world.

Also, I'm really sorry
about your finger,

And everything else.

(sighs) rough day?

Yeah. Been there.

("easy" by mesadorm plays)

Anyway, if there's anything
you could ever need,

You know where to find
me. (ground crunches)

? with your mother
on the left ?

? your daddy on the right ?

? nothin' in the middle
but a bare-knuckle fight ?

? you're dizzy all day,
lookin' side to side ?

Crystal: (chuckles)
yeah. Oh no, yeah!

- Oh...

- Yeah. (laughing)
- okay.

So, just, yeah, be in-be
in touch. (chuckles)

(happy squeal)

- Who's that?
- Oh, that guy?

He works at the
casino in halifax

And he might even
have a job for me!

- Blowjob, maybe.

- Ryan, he saw my
tattoo business,

And was admiring my
entrepreneurial spirit.

- It wasn't your spirit
he was staring at!

- That guy makes
40 grand a year.

I mean, that kinda money,
he can give people jobs.

He can have his
mother over for tea.

You know what? That's
gonna be us someday!

(singsong) that is
gonna be us someday!

That's gonna be us someday!

Us someday, us someday!

- Again, we are so sorry.

Here, take that complementary
pass for next year.

- How bad is it?

- (sighs) bad.

- Are we talking bad,
next week will be better,

Or bad, I need to rob a bank?

- Look, we'll stick together,
and it'll all work out, right.

New day.

- (sighs) said no
finley-cullen, ever.

- Dodged that genetic
bullet, remember?

Which means, it's my job
to keep the rest of you

From losing hope.

- Family fixer.

Love you, sammy.
- Love you, too.

Go, I got this.

? Try to get along
together ah ah ?

- (stressed exhale)

(door creaks open and shuts)

? rubber band brains
all made of clay ?

? you want to whisper words
that would try to explain ?

- I'm not offering
any parenting advice.

? I can be easy ?

? I can be easy ?

(door closes gently)

- Any sign of the goat?
- Nope.

- At least someone's free.
- (chuckles)

Yeah, I um...

Actually, wanted to
talk to you about that,

Why we didn't go back to
new york with your dad.

- You guys are getting
a divorce, aren't you?

- No.

(emotional) I
don't know. Maybe.

This is a separation while
we try to figure things out.

- Don't you love him anymore?
- Oh, honey, of course I do.

But I married your dad
when I was really young,

And, you know,

Before I knew what I wanted,

Or who I really was.

- Who are you?

- I'm your mom.

And I love you very much.

- Well, I'm still stranded here.

- (deep exhale)

How 'bout you,
kiddo? (sniffles)

(emotionally)
- my family's insane.

Both: (laugh heartily)

- Yeah.

- (sighs)
- wanna talk about it?

- I told michael I'd
go play video games so.

- Okay.

(kiss, sniffles)

Oh. (grunts)

(sharp exhale)

(running footsteps
approach, goat bleats)

(goat bleats)

(slow footsteps
crunch in the foliage)

(waves crash in distance)

(waves crash in distance)

(paper rustles)

(waves crash in distance)

? hey! ?

???

? hey! ?

???

???

???

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