Original subtitles

26th.

The 26th is already booked.

Please choose another day.

We cannot have another day.

I totally understand you. I'm human too.

I understand what an important mourning event this is.

And grief that everyone should remember.

We just need half a day.

In the evening.

You should understand my position -

I manage a commercial organization.

The theatre hall is booked for several months ahead.

We will pay for that.

We have money.

Mother has been blessed for conducting

this memorial event.

Ok, very good.

I'll give you the best price possible but...

God bless you!

We need to sign a standard rental agreement.

Yes, of course.

Do what you have to do.

Who is going to sign it?

I will.

Do you have a passport with you?

Film by Ivan I. Tverdovskiy

Here's a paragraph "rent for": "concert",

"conference", "theatre play".

Can I put a "mourning event"?

A memorial evening.

No, you have to put it down as a conference.

THE CONFERENCE

Hey.

Hi, Galya.

How are you?

- All well, you? - Fine.

Are you coming on the 26th?

What's on the 26th?

Memorial evening, your mum is organising that.

-Not sure. -Call me then.

Larissa! Hi.

What about that evening?

It's on the 26th. See you there.

October 23 -

... 26th...

2002.

It's impossible for us to forget that date,

to erase it from our memory.

Hi.

The whole world...

Hi, Galya.

was watching the events that unfolded here.

In Moscow

in the Dubrovka Theatre Centre

where terrorists

took hostages from among the artists and spectators of the musical

What is it that you are organising?

Memorial evening.

You'll come here every year to organise it?

Galya.

Why you are doing that?

Father Andrei blessed me.

Go back to your Father Andrei and organise it there. Got it?

Galya, what...

Don't touch me. Didn't you understand what I said?

Why you are like that?

Like what?..

Like what?

Galya, come with dad

on 26th at 7 pm. I will be waiting for you.

- With dad? - Yes.

Do you want me to bring here my paralyzed father?

My dad who pisses and shits himself?

That's what you want?

What do you mean, paralyzed?

They were away.

He laid

for the whole day in the hallway while they were away.

They couldn't reach him on the phone

so they came back.

They placed him immediately in intensive care.

They said it was a massive stroke.

They knew it was a stroke already while in the ambulance.

Galya...

She asked not to tell you anything.

Let's remember our kids.

For my Vovka.

-You again? -Yes.

Hi, Galya.

Galya.

I just

wanted to visit you,

I brought a cake.

Let's

just talk.

Let's just have a tea and talk. Just talk.

I don't have time to talk. I need to leave for a bit.

Have some tea with Yegor.

Ok.

I've changed the father already. Don't disturb him.

Ok.

Will you drink tea?

No?

I need to steer it first.

That's how I always drink it.

Ok, steer it then.

I'll have it with the cake,

without sugar.

That's it. And now...

Will you have some cake?

Are you making a potion?

Yes, I'll have tea.

I'm going to have some tea with cake.

Ok, steer it then.

Will you try it?

No, let's play.

Try a piece.

- No! - You don't like it?

Me and your mom love this cake.

- Ok. - Wait.

Shall we feed the dog?

Let me go to the toilet first.

Toilet?

When I come back, steer my potion.

Do you need the light on?

- Yeah! - Ok.

Don't tell anyone where I'm.

I won't.

I'll be waiting for you. Just don't close the door.

I want to pee.

- I'll be waiting. - And steer it...

Just don't close the door.

I'm waiting for you.

Come here.

My willy is in the shape of letter "F".

Did you steer it?

Yes. You should steer it too.

Did you put some sugar?

I'll have one more piece.

One more and let's play.

Very tasty.

Let's play now!

Wait, you hear that?

And now...

oh, grandpa.

Wait for me here, ok? I'll go see grandpa

and come back, ok?

Is it ok?

Ok.

I'll be quick!

Hi.

Hi, Oleg.

Hello.

Hello.

Galya said I shouldn't enter your room.

Do you need anything?

Are you comfortable?

I'll fix your pillows.

Is everything ok?

Calm down, clam down.

Don't be shy.

I've seen already everything down there.

Oh, I got it.

I am going to change it now.

I need to find diapers.

I'll come back.

Come on, Yegor.

I will go play with a cat.

Nice kitty. Go play in the living room, ok?

Just play here. Stay here, ok?

I'm helping grandpa.

I'll come back to you soon.

Here are...

Here are the diapers.

Alright.

Now we are going to change you.

We'll manage, won't we?

Of course, we will.

Here.

That's it.

We will carefully put it here.

Alright.

Put your hand here.

We will put it there.

Alright, just couple seconds.

Ok, now we're going to...

Let me

prepare a fresh sheet

and I will need

to turn you.

Help me here.

Go on your side.

One, two, three!

Very good!

Very good, Oleg.

Alright. That's it.

That's really good.

Now turn back.

That's it! Very good.

That's it!

I'll fix it now.

A star fell down from the sky,

right in sweetie's pants.

Do you remember what's next?

Do you remember...

what's next?

Let it all blow up there,

as far as there is no war.

Why should we remember such nonsense?

Show me your ticket, please.

I'm a hostage.

Wait a second. Your day is tomorrow.

Not today.

What do you mean?

I was told by the management that tomorrow is the day for hostages.

There will be a guest list.

Can't I come in for just five minutes?

You have to understand I can't let you in

without a guest list.

That's what I was told.

If you have any questions,

go see the management they'll let you in.

It's fine.

I have nothing to do with that, it's up to the management.

I would let you in. But with a guest list.

There is no guest list so what can I do.

With a child?

No, one adult.

500 rubles.

Can I choose a seat?

Sure, let's see what's available.

I need row 8, seat 26.

Row 8, seat 26.

It's free. 500 rubles.

Good afternoon.

Row 8, seat 26, right side.

Get out of here! I told you to get out of here!

Go, leave. We are talking with dad...

Leave? I asked you not to enter his room.

- It's ok, Dad and I are ok... - Don't touch me!

Why did you enter?

Why did you enter?

-He called me. -Dad, called you?

-I changed his diaper. -You changed him?

Sorry for that, dad.

Get out of here. Now. Out!

Before I break your jaw. Get out!

I'm counting till three.

Your dad and I were just talking.

One!

- Why are you so harsh? - Two!

Sorry, dad!

Why you are like that? What have I done?

Two and a quarter!

What have I done?

What have you done?

Go and tell others at the memorial evening what you've done.

Go and tell them what you've done!

What have you done...

Almost three!

Galya.

What are you waiting for? I'll fucking throw you out of here now!

-Good bye. -Bye forever!

Bye forever!

Hello. Can I talk to Valeriy Gennadievich?

I am Natalya Samokhina, a hostage.

About the memorial evening tomorrow.

We would like to invite him.

At eight o'clock, after the evening service,

we wanted to gather in the theatre.

Tell him, please. Thank you.

Do you eat chops?

Meat ones?

No, fish ones.

Yes, I eat it.

I'll give you a couple?

No, just one.

So far, there aren't many people who come tomorrow.

How many people came last year?

Even less.

Even less?

On the 23rd, no one came, it was very cold

and on the 26th a few people came.

When I was there for the 15th anniversary

I've seen a lot of people.

For the 15th anniversary even TV came.

Someone even held a speech.

Our people

forget everything so quickly.

Only yesterday

a horrific event took place

and today no one remembers that.

Go on, eat.

Lord have mercy.

Let us pray to the Lord for peace from above

and for the salvation of our souls.

Lord have mercy.

For the remission of sins

in the blessed memory of the departed

let us pray to the Lord

let us pray to the Lord.

Of the ever-memorable servants of God...

Brothers and Sisters

today is a memorial day of the Iveron icon of the Mother of God.

This is a special for us united by the memory of the tragic events

that took place here 17 years ago.

Memory of the victims and hostages of a terrible terrorist act.

An act that was designated to install fear in people

And people who do these things think they serve God.

Lord tells us

"Do not be afraid of those who kill the body but who cannot kill the soul.

Fear him who can plunge body and soul

into The Fire Gehenna".

Brothers and sisters.

Fear is only a feeling

it has no content.

We were not afraid then, and we will not be afraid now.

Today mother is here.

Mother Natalia from the Voskresensky Goritsky monastery.

Natalia was with us.

The mother survived the tragedy, and lost her son.

Today she will hold a memorial event

in the theatre hall

to which she asks us all to come.

Brothers and sisters

let's remember those difficult days, so that the memory of loved ones

never leaves us.

Amen.

So good that you came here. Thank you.

17 years ago we survived such events

that we cannot forget.

But...

as time passes by everything is being erased.

And a lot is being forgotten.

Svetlana and I...

to make it easier to restore the situation

we bought

inflatable mannequins.

There are three colours.

White ones are for...

As we have decided

they are victims who didn't survive the attack.

Black - for terrorists

who were in the hall

maybe some of them were near you.

Blue - for those who

couldn't come today.

For some reasons

anyway, they were

at first, total strangers.

But they were your neighbours in the rows

and you know something about them and can tell it now.

So that we could also remember them.

Some have already passed away

over the last 17 years.

When you want to say something... Take the mic.

When you want to say something

raise your hand and I'll come to you with a mic.

Now, Mother Natalia and I

will give the mannequins that you need to inflate.

Just to remind you - white is

for the victims

black - for terrorists

blue - for those, who couldn't come today

for some reason.

-I need a black one. -One second.

-I need a blue one. -Blue one as well.

-Here is a blue one. -I need two - blue and white.

Blue one for me.

Here are two of blue.

Blue one as well.

I can't even open it!

Let me do that.

-Which one for you? -Blue and white.

-Thank you. -You're welcome.

I need blue, for those who didn't come.

Two?

How do I do that?

This is valve there.

Just hold it.

How should I do that?

Just hold it. That's it.

My name is Ekaterina.

I came on the 23rd to watch the musical

together with my husband, ex-husband now, and niece.

We were seating close to the stage.

The second part of the musical it started

at nine o'clock.

Nine o'clock sharp.

Five minutes later, a man in a camouflage,

came out to the stage

wearing a black mask, with a machine gun over his shoulder.

Without a word, he fired some shots at the ceiling above the stage.

A few light bulbs shattered, shards of glass fell down

but the dancers continued to dance

they haven't stopped yet and musicians continued to play.

More terrorists appeared in the aisle to the right.

They also fired some shots and that's when the music stopped.

Dancers stopped.

The gunman on the stage grabbed the closest artist

dragged him to the edge of the stage and pushed him into the aisle.

Other artists left the stage

under the pointed guns of the terrorists.

The audience took

the first shots laughing

as if it was a bad joke

the shots were loud

and everyone was wondering what would happen next.

Gradually, more terrorists started to appear,

there were girls in black

with their faces covered with burqas.

They didn't seem to wear explosive belts -

they put it on later.

Then they demanded

that everyone put their hands behind their heads and everyone laughed.

The idea that this is not a joke

occurred as soon as music stopped.

I felt my heart beat

twice as fast.

But after a moment I calmed down

and told myself - "It can't be happening. It's a joke!

Very stupid, but just

a joke!"

When they demanded again "Hands behind your head!"

someone loudly shouted - "behind whose head?"

But then the terrorist

that was walking

down the aisle.

And then he hit that young guy,

first with foot and then with gun.

He hit the guy who either said something to him, or tried to stand up.

The sight of blood

running from the guy's temple

convinced me that it wasn't

just a joke.

And then someone from the hostages said

you need to put your hands on your head.

And I said why?

And they said

it's a terrorist attack, didn't you understand?

And I said - no, I didn't.

I said - ok

and I put my hands on my head.

But I didn't understand anything.

I didn't think anything.

After it all ended

I was surprised by the reaction of people

who were asking me

if I was scared.

I didn't know what to tell them.

I said - I think,

from your point of view it looks different

because I wasn't scared.

It was something...

Not fear. It was something absolutely different.

There were several layers of feelings.

When you enter, and see that in one part of the hall

some guys and girls are smiling, chatting. There were a lot of us

who were rehearsing upstairs.

And I was looking at them

in the hall and saw that some of them started talking and laughing

they were passing notes to each other.

Asking "did you hear that?", making jokes.

And I thought - look at that guy, he got around already.

He's already met a girl

and they have their own thing going on.

Other guys were just sitting like that.

Then someone told me that my mum is here as well, on the third row.

"Look. She's on third row."

I looked down and I saw

my mum looking on the balcony, to check if I'm there.

And I waved at her - "hi".

I was surprised to see her.

I don't know why I started talking about it now.

I really don't know.

What were the terrorists' demands?

To withdraw the federal troops from Chechnya.

I remember one in camouflage, he was some kind of press secretary.

Others called him Aslanbek or Aslan.

He was walking through the rows, communicating with the hostages.

He told us to take our phones

and call our families

friends and television.

So they would arrive here, to the theatre.

I hid the phone.

Then I pulled it out

and called my friend.

I said that I was held hostage.

Asked her to call my daughter later.

Then I

called my daughter myself.

I didn't know how to tell her that... that her father and I,

her sister and her nephew all held hostages.

That was so weird.

I tried to hide what happened for a while

but the daughter understood at once that there was something bad going on.

Then they made everybody change their seats.

Can I continue?

I remember that women were told to sit on the right side and men on the left.

They allowed us to stay with children.

They allowed us to stay together.

My son stayed with me.

They allowed me to.

And my husband managed to take the seat

right by the aisle.

So we ended up sitting not that far from each other

and we could

look at each other.

And even talk occasionally.

You know

one of the terrorists that was on stage...

I'll come over to you now.

One of the terrorists, that was on a stage

he had spoken loudly about a withdrawal of troops from Chechnya.

Everyone listened to him, the hall was quiet.

And then he...

he said that as long as there is no assault

we were not in danger,

but if the assault begins they would blow up the whole theatre.

And for every terrorist killed, they would kill ten hostages.

Someone from the audience shouted that

the withdrawal of troops takes a long time

to which one of the shahids who were sitting next to me replied

that they were not in a hurry

and were ready to stay for as long as necessary.

Then Aslan came out on stage

carrying a radio.

He screamed: "Listen to your radio lying!".

I didn't hear what they said on the air

but I assume they didn't like it.

Is there anyone today, who was sitting on the balcony?

My daughter was moved to the balcony.

When everyone was changing their seats

we were in the toilet

and when we returned

the gunman, who accompanied a few girls sent us all to the balcony.

Later, the terrorists spend a long time

looking for the keys to the side doors of the balcony.

They just lost them.

Then they tried to barricade it with chairs

and for this purpose began to break off one row.

Aslan asked if anyone wanted to help them.

One guy volunteered

to break off the chairs, but Aslan told that it isn't necessary anymore.

One shahid girl sat next to the door

she had already put on the belt with explosives

She was

addressed as

Ir or Ira, but I wasn't sure if that was her real name

more like a nickname.

Unlike other suicide bombers, she opened her face straight away

so we called her "Gulchatai".

She looked very young, an ordinary Caucasian girl

who you can usually see on the street or at the market.

She was always frowning, but it was kind of unnatural.

She looked very, very nervous.

Let's talk about Romanova now.

Maybe someone wants to talk about her?

Let me talk about her.

Ok.

-Take the mic. -Thank you.

My name is Victoria.

Olga Romanova came in once

they've already declared on TV about the siege.

She somehow

made it through the entire cordon,

walked into the hall in the concert hall.

And down the aisle to the stage.

She came up to one of the terrorists,

they pointed guns at her.

She loudly demanded that

they would immediately release all the hostages.

They told her to raise her hands

she didn't.

She told them to

let at least the women and the children out.

Then gunman came close to her.

Like extremely close.

And told the others she was drunk.

He gestured her

to walk away.

He demanded

to take her out.

They took her right here.

Through the side door.

All of us who

were sitting here

we saw how

one of them pushed her

in the back

with the back of the gun.

She was saying something, I think

to keep their

hands off.

They hit her one more time and she...

she just fell on the floor.

Everyone who sat in our row saw that terrorist started shooting at her

unloading the whole machine gun magazine

at her.

In the hall, everyone froze. Complete silence.

As we

realised that

the first blood was shed.

We took it from the buffet.

Come here, take something to eat.

You are probably hungry.

-Come here. -Anyone?

Sparkling water?

-Should I give it to you? -Thank you.

Surprisingly, no one was hungry for such a long time.

Probably because of stress.

Then when

we got hungry the terrorists

took out from buffet

what they called "trophies". It was buffet food

in the boxes.

They asked the guys from the hostages

to help them bring the boxes to the stage.

The shahid girl, who was sitting behind us...

yes, she was sitting right here

told the guys from the group of actors to stand up and help.

The guys were carrying boxes to the stage.

There were two-litre packs of juice

sparkling water, chocolate,

chewing gum, candy

the usual buffet food.

Strange that they also brought melted ice cream.

The militants loved to

throw food from the stage into the hall.

And also

after all of this

Then they put two chairs on the stage

back to back

and tied some packages

with explosive to it.

There was that screeching sound.

That sound stayed with you.

They were doing it

in different places of the stage.

Then they put a canister on top of it.

There was a box with the wires under the chairs

and they started connected the wires.

Another gunman was hanging a flag on the stage

it was some Arabic script on a black background.

I afterwards saw the same flag hanging in the mezzanine.

So...

There was conflict between the terrorists and our electricians

because our...

The terrorists must have broken

sound and light equipment.

All the lights that were blinking

went off.

Before that, for two hours, light rays continued to fall on the stage

Tell us about the suicide bomber girl,

who was sitting near you.

I remember only

that her face was always covered.

I never saw her eyes.

I don't know her name

but she was very calm.

She was one of the few who talked to some of the hostages.

Apparently she was still a child.

Something like 15 or 16 years old.

What did she say?

She didn't talk to us.

I've just seen her talking to others.

Katerina wants to add something.

I remember her telling that her father and brother were killed in the war.

She was saying that there was a war and we go to theatres here.

And also something

around the time they started handing out food

they hung something from the balcony

like a gas cylinder.

Everyone started saying

that it was a land mine.

Same one was installed not far behind me in the stalls.

Right behind guys.

Another suicide bomber was sited there

and the terrorists spend a long time

connecting wires to that cylinder.

You wanted to add something?

I remember that when

they were installing a land mine

Aslan was going through the aisle

and asked men whether anybody had any knowledge of mines.

He asked men.

He asked those who did to stand up. But no one did

so he laughed and told them: "You are no men!".

We then thought that

he needed minesweepers to convince everyone

that the bombs were real.

I'm sorry but are you going to stay up long tonight?

We agreed with the management that we will have the whole evening.

I understand, but understand me. It's midnight already.

I have to turn the lights off.

But we...

Wait a little. We are not done yet.

-How much longer? -We should...

Some more time.

I understand.

But I need to turn the lights off.

- Give us some more time. - We agreed with the management.

We will try to wrap up fast.

Just put it back.

Some water for you?

Thank you. Just put it back, please.

I will have to kick you out soon.

You don't have to kick us out.

I have to lock everything.

Galya!

She came.

I was struck by one of the terrorists looks.

He was young, he looked

like 18 years old.

He finished just a few classes of school

before leaving for the war.

He loved picking up cell phones

that were piled high in the aisle

and studying them.

He kept on asking about their brands.

He just kept on approaching the hostages.

He played games

on those phones.

The phones rang often on the first day

they were ringing nonstop

and then he answered he liked

to talk to the hostages' families

in an arrogant tone.

He distributed cell phones to some other terrorists

so they called each other.

Can you tell us about the toilet?

Galya, don't interrupt him, please.

He was taking small groups of people

to the toilets, where he passed them

to other terrorists.

To go to the toilet you had to stand in the queue

by the wall in the side aisle.

And you had to wait.

They were taking us to the toilet.

First they took men to the men's toilet, and then

they arranged the toilet right in the room next to the hall.

There was some kind of an office.

They even moved tables, they made toilets right there.

They even sprinkled bleach in room,

so there was no strong smell.

Tell us more about the toilet.

Please continue.

Women were taken to the ladies room by the balcony.

That day two women escaped from the toilet.

And the terrorists said - that's it

from now on you will go to the toilet in the orchestra pit.

They also said that if anyone escapes

they will kill ten hostages for each one who escaped.

However, when those two women escaped

they haven't killed anyone.

Thank you.

It became so quiet at some point

that we dozed off.

We

calmed down.

And for the first time we dozed off.

Then we woke up because everyone was screaming

and then I was told that some man

hit the shahid girl in the head with the bottle

and then ran in the aisle. The shahid girl started shooting at him.

But she missed him and instead

shot a young woman who was sitting next to the aisle.

She was wounded in her stomach.

Badly.

And she just fell

and everybody saw that...

Please, continue.

Everyone saw how another terrorist

fired a machine gun

and shot that man.

And

that girl, she was my niece.

And...

And I...

I couldn't help her at all.

You are leaving, Katerina? Wait!

Just wait a little bit.

Good bye!

And then terrorists...

I'll come to you.

And then the terrorists told everyone

to return the glass bottles

and they put them back in the boxes.

I was backstage when... the attack happened

and then I hid in the dressing room.

I sat there for quite a while. I was lucky.

There is one moment that

still stays rather mystical for me.

Only I know about that.

It's only my psyche, my memory.

No one has ever talked about that particular moment.

And when we were discussing it

no one has ever talked

about that particular moment.

I was sitting under the table in the dressing room.

I was sitting there with my parents.

At some point

I started realising that something bad

something unexplainable is happening.

But I wasn't afraid. I was just observing.

I was in a state of "here and now".

When they say "to be here and now", it's exactly that moment

when you are not reflecting on anything

you just exist in "that moment", under the table.

Because nothing else exists in that moment.

While sitting under the table

I was thinking that maybe a batman

or whichever superhero will come now and it will be over.

And in that very moment I've heard a voice

of a Russian man, I'm not sure whether he was real or not

Speaking about memory

that somehow stayed in my memory. I've heard that voice.

He shouted: "raise your hands up".

Maybe it was a Russian soldier

or a kamikaze hostage from the hall.

A gun was fired then and we've heard...

Actually, not we, I'm not sure about the others -

I've heard a sound of a body falling to the floor.

And at that very moment it hit me.

Something happened at this moment.

It became obvious to me

that a superhero won't...

That he won't come to save us.

Because the man whose voice I've heard is dead.

That's it.

That's it.

Let's wrap up here.

Why you are looking at me like that? Am I not clear?

Who is in charge here?

You?

Mother signed all the papers.

Have some decency.

Take your people and leave.

We are almost done.

Without "almost".

Without "almost". It's time for you to leave.

Collect your stuff from the cloakroom and leave.

What's the point of sitting here?

Let's stay for a bit and go till the end.

Don't leave. We will go till the end.

Natasha, I'm not sure. Go till what end?

I think you are totally

detached from the reality.

Why sit here, digging into details?

The underground is closing soon.

I'm done here.

Guys.

Good bye.

We need to talk it through at least once.

At least once to go through till the end.

We can't just leave.

I understand it's not easy

it's painful.

I understand that.

But we need to find strength in us to do that.

We should do this work.

Otherwise, we will keep dragging all our mistakes along us.

And because of that it can happen again.

And people will suffer again.

Jesus, nothing has changed.

Natasha, what are you doing there?

Sveta, come help me here.

We have to block it.

So that they won't disturb us.

We have to close doors.

That's it!

Let's do it for our loved ones.

We did love them, didn't we?

Why "did"?

We still love them.

We will do it for them.

We will need large wooden planks.

You're right.

We will find something.

We are sitting here, saying nothing.

Here we go.

Every time a disaster happens to us

we just sit and say nothing.

That's why they follow us.

One disaster after another.

That's because we say nothing.

Because we are too scared to say something.

Like we are dead.

Pinned down by our fears.

Why are you sitting?

Come over.

I won't let you out anyway.

Stop being scared.

Everyone, come here, help us.

It's our life and we will live it minute by minute today.

Why they keep interrupting us?

How we can help?

Take care of that door.

You need to block it. Just block these two doors.

To block with what?

Find something.

Let's move

this fridge to the door.

We're blocking it!

Use these planks to block the door.

Come back for more.

What circus you are creating here?

Why did you block the doors? What the fuck are you doing here?

What the fuck is happening?

What in the actual...

Get up and leave now.

Why you are looking at me? Stand up and leave.

-No. -What?

We need a couple hours more.

Are you out of your fucking mind?

We need to stay here for a while. Please, wait.

What do you mean "wait"?

I'm going to call the police now. Is that clear?

Listen, we haven't done anything wrong.

You listen to me. If I say it's over it means "it's over".

We will leave in a couple of hours.

- No more hours! - We will clean everything.

You are out of your fucking mind.

Be quiet.

There was a woman sitting in front of me.

She had an icon...

An icon of Matrona of Moscow.

She was passing it through the rows so people could pray.

Another person wrote "Our Father" prayer

on a piece of paper

and passed it

through the rows as well.

I remember there were Russian people sitting next to me.

They were also praying.

I slid down to the floor

and started praying.

"Our Father".

I didn't know any other prayer

back then.

We also prayed.

Then someone behind Anya started crying.

A shahid girl who was sitting next to us

she finished her prayer.

She kept her eyes shut.

And told us, whispered:

"Pray, pray".

Just pray.

And at one point

one of shahid girls

started saying something loudly

Girl next to me told afterwards

that shahid girl said if they start the assault

we will all die and that's how we will get into heaven.

I came here and saw that the doors are blocked.

They blocked it with a plank and a hose.

What am I supposed to do?

Stand up and leave immediately.

I repeat -

stand up and get out of here now.

Pointless.

Hey you, nun.

Stand up now and open the door.

You don't understand when I talk normally to you!

Got it. We will talk differently then.

Where is police?

On its way.

Switch off the lights. Let them sit in the dark.

I don't have the keys.

Find it then!

Later there was a fire in the orchestra pit.

A fire.

Why did it start?

Anyone remembers the details?

Here you go.

Thank you.

We used the orchestra pit as a toilet

short circuit happened there and the fire started.

Everyone had to use the orchestra pit as a toilet

after two women escaped

it was forbidden to leave the hall.

They demanded to use orchestra pit.

Who were those two women?

Anyone knows?

I don't know.

I haven't seen them either.

I was one of those two women.

When I could no longer hold it, I asked to go to the toilet.

I took place in the queue to the toilet by the aisle.

My kids have already gone and I haven't.

I kept exchanging

glances with them.

It was my turn.

Me and another woman

we were taken to the bathroom.

One of the terrorists sat by the toilet

and he listened carefully to the radio.

He didn't pay attention to us.

When we went inside

there was one more woman.

She was with a child, with boy.

They were drinking water from the tap.

And then

I went into the closet

and heard that

Olga

that was her name

the one who came with me

asking the woman with the child to close the door

behind her when she was going to leave.

I got out of the closet, went to sink to get some water, too.

And I saw Olga opening the window.

I asked her what she thinks she is doing.

But Olga had already

jumped out of the window.

Continue, Natasha.

I looked down

and I shouted at her

she was on the visor

"What have you done?"

"You will be shot".

From the window.

And if I don't come back with her

I'd be shot, too.

And she quietly told me

not to scream.

Just jump.

And I jumped.

I immediately felt pain, I've broken my legs.

And when

I was crawling on that visor, I thought

what have I done

and how I can go back.

But I couldn't go back

anymore.

It was not possible to go back.

It was not possible.

I made a mistake.

And...

I can't fix it.

I can't.

Open the door.

Switch on the lights.

All of you will have to go

with me to the police station now.

Here she is! She organized all of that.

Please don't, stop.

- It's a memorial evening. - Stand up, all, stand up

- We did nothing wrong. - Stand up, all, stand up

Take her with you.

Look, they have damaged the whole stage.

We will deal with that. You are coming with us.

Don't take her.

Samokhina?

Yes, it's me.

Natalia Mikhailovna

start writing your statement, I've already asked you once.

Father Andrei

Father Andrei

blessed me.

Blessed you to do what?

Everything.

He blessed you to take hostages?

I didn't take anyone hostage.

They decided to stay.

By their own

free will.

He blessed you to trash the hall?

Not the hall, the stage.

He blessed you to wreck the stage?

Start writing your statement, I won't do it for you.

I don't want to press charges anymore.

I changed my mind.

Sveta.

Everything ok?

Yes, they let us go.

Goodbye.

See you.

Goodbye.

Sveta.

Why didn't you tell anything?

When?

At the memorial evening. You didn't say a word.

You surely have something to say.

I didn't want to.

Why?

Those who talked were not enough for you?

Wait!

Do you remember how the assault started?

Let's sleep.

We had a tough day.

Do you remember that?

I do.

It was almost morning,

I wanted to sleep until 8 a.m.

but woke up around 4 a.m.

One of the gunmen started shooting at the ceiling.

Many were frightened

and they also started waking up.

And then what?

There was a sound

like someone was running

on the roof or the attic.

They were saying, gas was without any colour or smell...

On television... Is it true?

There was a strong smell.

And there was something

like a fog near the vents.

Did the gas put you to sleep?

Not immediately.

I remember how I wanted to move

my arm, my leg.

I wanted to hug Lena

and hide under the chair with her.

But I realised I couldn't do anything.

I couldn't move.

I couldn't feel my body.

And then it was like a dream.

I saw that the wall fell on the stage.

Our people had come in and started

shooting the terrorists.

And then? Then what?

I don't remember anything after that.

I woke up in the hospital.

They told me straight away that

my husband

and daughter died.

I know that.

If you know that

then why you started asking me about that?

You wanted me to tell you all of that again?

To tell you again that...

To tell you how my husband and my daughter

died right in front of my eyes.

Why?

Why you organised that memorial evening?

Why you were asking everyone?

Why?

Because we must remember.

We can't forget our loved ones.

Our children

have to remember.

We don't have to remember anything.

People don't want to remember.

With all the baggage they have inside, they want to live on with it.

They want to make new families, raise new kids.

We must remember.

You came here like it's a vacation for you.

From your monastery.

Where it's calm and peaceful. Where no one can touch you.

You have your own god there.

And here people are afraid to go outside.

They are afraid of going into the underground.

I've never been to any stage play or any concert since then.

And I will never go again. Never!

I'm scared.

Fear...

Fear...

Fear is our strongest sin.

Fear.

Good night.

Let's sleep.

I thought we were going to have some tea.

Just talk.

Do you want some vodka?

It's ok, it's ok.

When do you stop torturing us?

When do you stop coming here

to remind us about that?

When will you finish praying for your redemption?

Never.

Never?

I can't earn redemption.

You can.

It's impossible to earn redemption for what I've done.

It is possible.

Mum, can I show grandma my dog?

Go to your room!

Do not stick your face out of it!

Shut up!

You're drunk.

You can't talk to a child like that.

It's my house and I can do whatever I want here. It is clear to you?

I see you are a sober one.

Go wash your dirty mouth! Do you hear me?

You are

a monster.

Hey, you.

Fucking nun.

Get out of here!

Get the hell out of here!

I will not leave.

Get the hell out!

Don't forget it's my house too.

Get the hell out of it.

Get the hell out of it.

Get the hell out of it.

You won't make me leave.

It's my own house, it's not clear to you?

You have nothing here.

It was given to me and your father.

To us. Oleg, tell her.

This house was given to us. Do you hear that?

Even your father is saying it!

You weren't even born when we were already living here.

I wish you were dead.

Die!

Die!

Die!

Die!

Are you going by the evening train?

I hope to catch the afternoon one.

Are you going to pass by Galya's place?

No.

What should I tell her if she asks?

Nothing.

Do you want to stay?

I do.

I do.

But you can't?

I can't.

I've just understood

that I came here for the wrong reason.

I prayed for the wrong things.

I was asking

for the wrong things. All this time.

I realised my mistake only now.

Fear.

I am full of fear.

How can I get rid of it?

I don't know.

YEGOR SAMOKHIN 12.02.1989 - 26.10.2002

Ambulance!

Quiet. Are you the relatives? Going with?

- Yes. - Yes.

Insurance, Passport.

Yes-yes.

- Move to one side. - Wait.

Dad.

Dad.

Don't rush!

He is not breathing. Do you hear me? He is not breathing.

Calm down, don't stand in the way.

I am not.

He is not breathing!

His head needs to be higher. He is white already.

He is breathing. Calm down.

Dad!

Dad!

Keep his head higher!

Careful, watch your step!

He'll get cold!

Where are you taking him without clothing?

You need to calm down. I won't let you go with us.

Won't let me go? He's cold, why are you not moving?

He is my father! What a scumbag!

Get in the car. Door is on the other side.

Try being more rude, won't you?

- Mom, come here. - I'll sit in front.

Mum!

What are you doing!?

Mum!

Wait!

What are you doing?

Stop! Mum!

Stop!

IN MEMORY OF THE VICTIMS OF THE TERRORIST AGGRESSION