All language subtitles for This Is Us s02e11 WEBRip x264 RARBG

-Previously on This Is Us...
-KEVIN: I almost drowned!

You're so busy making sure

-that Kate's not eating too much
and... -Kev, calm down.

...and Randall's
not too adopted.

:
I just need somebody to help me.

I just need help, please.

-Uncle Kevin, slow down!
-What the hell are you...

What? Get... Put your seat belt
on. What are you doing here?

REBECCA:
Oh!

Looks like someone landed
on my railroad.

-That'll be 50 bucks, sucker.
-Geez, Mom.

Whoa, I can read the dice
from all the way over here.

See? I told you, sweetheart,

having glasses
wouldn't be so bad.

For now. But once school's back,

the Urkel jokes will start.

What? No, they won't.

Yes, they will.

It's just a fact, Mom.

Do we have any more cookies?

You know what, we both have had

a couple of cookies already
today,

-so maybe I could cut us up
an apple instead.

-JACK: Hey!
-Dad, you're home!

-Finally! -I am, I am. Hey, hey.
Hi, hi. -REBECCA: Hi! -Hey, Dad.

Finally. Big news, Pearsons.

We're going on vacation.

-Yes, we are.

New guy in Accounting
has a cabin in the Poconos.

It's gonna be sitting there
empty,

so he said we could take it
for the whole week.

That's, of course,

if Mom thinks
that's a good idea.

I mean, a cabin does sound fun.

-Yeah, it does sound fun!

-REBECCA: Yeah.

It's close to his football camp,

so I'm gonna pick him up
on Friday.

I'll bring him up there.
We're all set.

I-I don't know why you guys
are still sitting down here,

standing around.
Go upstairs! Pack!

We're gonna leave first thing
in the morning!

Oh, God. I-I...

I-I came in a little excited
in the entrance, right?

-I didn't really give you
a chance to... -No.

-Mm.
-No, you didn't.

Yeah, but a log cabin, babe.

I mean, this was...
this was too good to pass up.

Okay. I'll, um...

I'll start coming up with a list
of things that we need to pack.

Um, top of the list,
first thing:

your bathing suit.

We got to get you back
in that black bikini.

:
No way.

-The black bikini is retired.
-Wait. No, no.

-Retired, Jack. -Babe,
she was too young to retire.

All right? She's bored.
She-she wants a comeback.

I cannot believe that I haven't
talked to Kevin in over a month.

We've never, ever gone this long
without talking.

Yeah, I know, babe.
Disconnecting is kind of one

of the key rules of rehab.

Kev's in rehab.

I let Kevin get sent to rehab.

Technically,
the judge at his DUI hearing

let him get sent to rehab.

But now is no time
to be super literal,

and I should know that. Sorry.

Well, I hope
that it's been good for him.

I mean, not just getting clean
but...

all of it.
I still can't believe that

-I missed what was going on with
him, though. -Hey. Hey, hey.

We had a lot going on, too,
you know.

Yeah, we did.

Okay.

Right, so...

portion-controlled hummus
and veggies for the plane ride.

-Mm-hmm.
-I'm gonna stay focused.

'Cause when life takes us low,
Kate and Toby, we go high.

That's right. Crushing it
in the face of tragedy.

'Cause that's how Ka-Toby roll.

Ooh, "Ka-Toby." I like it.

Oh, hey, will you take out
the trash before we go?

-Yeah.
-It smells like ass.

"Ka-Toby."
Are we going with that?

'Cause I could get behind
"Ka-Toby."

Hey, uh, you ready?

Toby?

Uh, uh...

Yeah, yeah!

Yeah, come on,
let's get this show on the road.

-Hey, Sweet Pea.

Hey.

How you feeling?

Fine.

We just wanted to triple-check
that you're still feeling okay

about staying with the sitter
while we go visit Uncle Kevin.

Dad, I love Julie.

She makes better brownies
than you.

-Randall.
-Yeah. Just... It's cool.

-Look, baby...
-Mom, stop worrying about me.

You've asked me if I'm okay 100
times a day for the last month.

I told you, I was just sad
about Deja having to go home.

I'm not gonna freak out
and run away again.

Are you sure?

I'm sure.

I understand
why she had to move home.

-Well, you know, we just want
to make sure... -Beth. -Mom.

All right. Yeah.

Enjoy your book.

Love you.

Well, it seems
like she's doing really well.

Why do you sound disappointed

-Because
if she was doing a little worse,

then...
I could stay here with her

and not have to visit
your jackass brother.

Maybe have some
of Julie's delicious brownies.

Okay, first of all,
Julie's brownies

are bland as hell and lumpy.

Yes, they are.

Second of all,
regarding my jackass brother,

cut him some slack.

He didn't know
Tess was in the car.

Yeah. He just knew
he was a danger

to everyone else on the road.

What do you want me to say,
babe?

That he was irresponsible?

That he made
some terrible decisions?

That I came within two inches
of separating

his perfectly-coiffed head
from his body?

-That part. -Well, I know
how you feel, Beth Pearson.

I feel it, too.

But when I was at my lowest,

Kevin was there for me.

So now we got to be there
for him, too.

Fine. But I'm not making
any efforts

to hold in
my passive-aggressive sighs.

Since when do you ever make
any efforts to... Ho, ha-ha.

Look, as for me,

when I think
about how angry I am with him,

I'm just gonna take a deep
breath and force myself to say,

"We're here for you, Kevin."

That is some white people-level
repression, babe.

-Well, I was raised by white
people, so... -Everybody knows.

Hey, Mom?

Hmm?

How you feeling?

I'm okay. I'm just...

I'm glad that we're all able to
be here to support your brother.

-RANDALL: Hey.
-Hey, guys.

-Hey. -Hey, Mom.
-TOBY: Hey-ya. -Sweetheart.

-Hi, Bug. I'm good.

-So nice to see you.

Come here, sis.

Been wanting to slap that one
on you for a while now.

Me, too.

We've all had a rough month.

Which reminds me.

Hey, guys? I think we need
to prepare ourselves.

Kevin's probably gonna look
different.

He might have lost weight.

His eyes might have
dark circles...

Hey-o!

MAN:
Kevin!

Matt. Be good today, okay?

-Oh, of course he's Mr. Rehab.
-Hi.

-Come on.
-Oh.

-Mm.
-I'm so glad you're okay.

Kate, um...

-I just wanted to tell you
that I... -No, no. I know.

I know.

Hey.

-Hey.
-Hey. Hey.

I just want you guys to know,
um, just...

It means a lot to me
that you all came.

-It really does.
-Of course.

And I'm... blessed

-to have you all here.

We're here for you, Kev.

-KEVIN: Thank you.

Good. I'm good. You know,
I'm better than I've been

-in a long time. Barb! Hey!
Come on over here. -Oh!

-Hi.
-Uh, everyone, this is Barbara.

-She's my therapist.
-REBECCA: Oh, hi! -Hi. Hello.

Yeah, she's-she's great.
You guys, you're gonna love her.

-She's got all the answers. Uh,
you're actually...

You're my favorite Barbara that
I've ever met in my entire life.

-Mm-hmm.
-And I've met Walters.

And Streisand.

It's very nice
to meet all of you.

-RANDALL: Nice to meet you
as well. -Nice to meet you.

Barbara's gonna be, uh,
running our session today.

Oh, actually, Kevin, I was
thinking that it might be better

for our first session to meet
just your immediate family.

So, just your siblings
and your mom and not the others.

"The others."
What are we on, Lost

Barbara, I'm sorry, it's just...
the only thing is I asked them

-to be here. -Don't worry
about it. It's okay.

-Beth.
-No, what I mean is...

it's about what's best
for Kevin's healing.

-Right. -Yeah, we don't want
to be the ones to impede

-on Kevin's healing. That's...
-She's right.

No, just do what you need to do.

You know, go and not make
a big deal out of it.

-That's great. Yes.

-BETH: So, you know...
-It's-it's fine. It's okay.

-I'll call you.
-Come back when you're done.

-Yeah. -Yeah.
-BARBARA: Great. -Absolutely.

Hurry up,
before they change their minds.

*

*

Hi!
-Kevin, you're here!

Did we move while I was at camp?

-REBECCA: No. -JACK: No, I told
you it was a vacation cabin.

Didn't you read our letters?

-You guys were on vacation
without me. -No.

Just a few days, but we're gonna
stay here till next week.

Kev, you are so big.
I swear, you got

twice as big
while you were at camp.

I want to hear everything about
football camp. Tell me now.

-It was really cool.

-I got two trophies.

Of course! Oh, oh, oh.
Hey, hey, hey.

So, Randall got glasses,
like, a week ago,

and I need you not to tease him
about that, okay?

Because if he doesn't wear them,
then he gets a headache...

-Okay, I won't say anything.
: Thank you.

Kev, you're finally here.
This place

-is so cool.
-At night,

Dad makes a fire
and we make s'mores

and sometimes
we make popcorn there, too.

REBECCA:
Have you noticed

that every thing Kate says
she loves

about this place
happens to involve food?

Nah, she was talking
about the fire pit.

Yeah. In reference
to popcorn and s'mores.

Come on.
It's vacation, all right?

And she has... baby weight.

But she's not a baby anymore,
Jack.

I-I don't want
to make her self-conscious,

but she's obsessed with food.

And the doctor says that she's
heavier than most girls her age.

Yeah, but that doctor,
he's basing it off of charts,

not our actual kid,

who takes after my grandmother,
who's just...

-she was big-boned.
-Ugh!

See, we've been doing
this same dance for years, Jack.

I say that it's an issue, and
you say things like "big-boned"

and "it's fine."

I'm worried about her.

-Okay.

Look... I will try to get her
to be more active, all right?

Maybe find something physical
that she loves.

Thank you. Okay.
-Yeah. Okay.

Hey.

-No more daily trips

to that ice cream place either.

-Jack.
-Yeah.

Deal.

-Hut, here we go.
-Hike, hike, hike. Go long, Dad.

JACK: Go, go, go, go, Kate.
Come on.

Go long, Dad!

Oh, oh, oh.

-Touchdown! -Here, run it back
to your brother. Run it back.

Run it back, run it back.
Go, go, go, go, go.

Mom, check out my spiral!

Yeah, I'm watching, bud.
It's amazing.

I'm gonna throw it so far
Dad can't catch it. Watch!

-Okay.
-JACK: Kate, come on.

-Go long with me. -How come
Randall doesn't have to play?

-Don't worry about Randall.
He's fine. -I'm tired.

How can you be tired?
We just got started.

If I don't want to play
football, why do I have to?

Dad! Dad, catch.

You... you've been eating a lot
of sweets this week, okay?

And I think that it's
really important

that you-you exercise
to-to stay healthy.

I won't eat more sweets.
I just don't want to play.

Kate.

Just let her go, Dad.

Hey, four-eyes, catch!

Hey.

Are you serious, Kevin?

You almost hit your brother
in the face.

I know. I missed.

No. Come here.

Do you realize you almost hit
him in the head?

What's gotten into you, bud?

Do you really want to sit
in your room by yourself

without your Game Boy,

without any books,
nobody to talk to?

Why are you acting this way,
huh?

BARBARA:
Thank you all for being here.

It's an important part
of Kevin's process

to speak openly
to the people he loves.

In a safe space.

Kevin.

-Yes.

Uh, well, you know,
first of all, I just wanted

to s-sincerely apologize
to all of you.

Um, obviously I hit a low point,

and I, uh,

ruined things with Sophie,

and then I went ahead

and ruined things
with all of you.

Uh, Kate, I...

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry that you had to go
through one

of the most difficult times
of your life without me.

That... should never happen.

You know, they-they tell us in
here that, um,

they tell us that we have
to forgive ourselves

for our wrongdoings, but...

that one's gonna take some time
for me.

It's fine.

And I'm sorry, too.

For taking my eye off the ball.

That's you. You're the ball.

Randall.

I'm sorry...

that I scared
you and Beth like that.

I didn't know Tess was
in the car, obviously,

but I am so sorry.

We're here for you, Kev.

And, Mom, I'm...

I'm sorry that I put you through
all this.

I just want you to be happy,
Kevin.

Whew. Right?

That was helpful.

Like, cathartic, you know?

Was it?

Because it felt
a little polite to me.

Do you want to talk
to your family

about what we've been exploring

regarding where your addiction
might stem from?

Kev... it's okay.

It's good to talk about this.

I have been telling Kev

that he has to find out a way

to talk about his grief.

About our-our dad dying, so...

Was that a look? Like, did...

Yeah, they definitely got looks.

We're gonna need to talk
about some things

involving your family--

and even about your father--

that were not so perfect,

when he was actually alive.

Can we go there together?

Oh, God, do we have to?

-To "The Others."
-No, no.

To the, uh...
to the new Big Three.

-Oh. To the new Big Three.
-Ah, new Big Three.

-I like that. All right.
-Uh-huh.

Mmm. I got to tell you,

this is not how I pictured
my day at rehab going.

Did you guys see Kevin do
that actor hand thing today

Like...

Like, when you put
the two hands together.

And-and say "thank you" and
then like, bow a little bit?

Like an overgrown Mr. Miyagi.

I mean, he drives
my nine-year-old around drunk.

She has to watch her uncle
get handcuffed.

But you know what? He bowed and
said thank you like Al Pacino

so I'm just expected
to forgive him.

Well, I don't think
anyone expects that.

Randall does. Any time I try
to have a conversation

about Kevin's behavior, I-I...

-I go into the Pearson no-fly
zone. -MIGUEL AND TOBY: Mmm.

-The Pearson no-fly zone.
-TOBY: Mm-hmm.

I have flown hard
into the Pearson no-fly zone

on many occasions,
and it does not end well.

But what do you...
what do you guys do

when there's a no-fly zone
that you have to fly into?

Like, right now,
there's something

I got to talk to Kate about,

that she's been hiding from me.

It's not about Jack, right?

-No. -Because that's, like,
a straight-up air strike zone.

No, yeah. I learned that lesson
a long time ago.

When we first started dating,
I saw a photo of the man,

and I said his mustache made him
look like a '70s porn star.

-Yeah,
I thought she was gonna deck me.

You know, Jack is untouchable.

-Mm-hmm. -Okay, he is
the saint we'll never meet.

-Mm-hmm. -Who none of us
will ever live up to.

MIGUEL:
Easy.

You're entering
my no-fly zone now.

-To Jack.
-To Jack.

He did kind of look
like a porn star.

Hey, Katie girl.

Mind if I join you?

What are we doing out here,
just... sitting?

Okay.

That-That's cool.

Derek, down the street,
called me fat.

Well, I think Derek...

Do you think I'm fat?

Katie girl, I think...

I think that you are
my favorite-looking person

on the whole planet.

Oh, Mom, I can't find
my glasses anywhere.

Well, where's the last place
you saw them, bud?

I took 'em off
when I went to wash my face.

I always put them on the desk
by the corkboard near the lamp.

Why don't you go check
the bathroom one more time,

and then I'll come help you
look for 'em, okay?

RANDALL:
Okay.

Hey, Kevin,
can you come here, please?

What?

Did you take
your brother's glasses?

No. Can I go?

Kevin, it's not funny.

It's not a joke.

You know your brother needs
those glasses to see.

So I'm gonna to give you
to the count of three

to tell me where they are.

-One...
-I hate you.

Kevin, y-you don't hate me,
you're just overtired.

This cabin sucks.

-Kevin.
-This family sucks.

-Enough.
-You suck.

Go ahead, Kevin.

I guess, my entire childhood,

I always felt like
I came in second to you two.

With Mom and Dad.

You know, like I was a...

like, fifth wheel of the family.

Kevin, that's crazy.

Kate, please. Let Kevin speak.

Well, Kate,
it's just, you had Dad.

Right?

You had Dad, and-and, Randall,

you had Mom; you two were
like two peas in a pod.

REBECCA:
That's not true.

I loved you all equally.

BARBARA:
Rebecca,

Kevin is telling you
how he feels right now,

And you will all have
a chance to let him know

how you feel later on.

KEVIN: Anyway, I-I think feeling
that way when I was a kid

has developed
this-this voice in my head

that would just sort of repeat,
saying, "You're not enough."

And-and I tried to drown
that voice out with things,

like, uh, football
or acting or fame.

And, um...

And I think
it was only a matter of time

before I turned
to something worse.

Why was it was only
a matter of time?

Because we're a family
of addicts.

:
Okay.

We're not a family
of addicts, Kev...

KEVIN:
Our father was an addict, Kate.

His father was an addict.

I'm an addict.

And I-I know
how hard you struggle

with managing your weight.

Believe me, I've seen it.
And I know how hard you try.

But I feel like, maybe, Kate,
you're an addict, too, you know?

And I feel like maybe you get
some of that from Dad.

Why are you doing this?

-I'm sorry, I'm not doing any...
-No, no, not you.

Do you get more money
the sicker that he is?

Or do you get to keep him here
longer?

-Oh, hold on. No, stop.

Kate, wait-wait a minute. Now,
you wanted me to talk about Dad,

Okay, so that's
what I'm doing. -Yeah...

I'm talking about Dad,
but I can't sit here and pretend

that the only reason I'm
messed up is because he died.

We don't talk
about his drinking problem.

KATE: Because he beat it, Kev.
It was just, like, a blip...

KEVIN: That's crazy
that you even say that.

I'm crazy? You're here
by court order and I'm crazy?

Rebecca, do you have an opinion

about your husband's alcoholism?

Did you ever talk
to your children

about their father being
an addict?

Did you ever warn them
that they would have the gene?

Uh, my-my children lost
their father when they were 17.

They didn't have their father
at their high school graduation.

Randall didn't have his father
when his children were born.

Kate will not have her father
at her wedding.

So they had 17 years
of memories,

and that's it.

There won't be any new ones
for the rest of their lives.

So... no.

No, I did not sit them down

and color their memories
of their father

by talking about the one part
of him that wasn't perfect.

And you really do a disservice
by calling my husband an addict,

because he was so much more
than that.

Thank you.

It's interesting
that you bring up examples

of Kate and Randall

but not Kevin.

What?

BARBARA: Kate not having
her father at her wedding

and Randall not having

his father
when his children were born.

Yes, because those were
just the first two examples

that came to my mind.

But don't you find it
interesting

that you have specific examples
for your other children

-KEVIN: I don't.

I don't find it interesting--
I find it typical,

to be honest with you. I mean,
this is what we talk about.

-Mom, you never...
-Enough. Dude, enough.

You don't have to lay into her.

Okay, here we go.

Yeah, "here we go" is right.

Look, I...

I've tried to empathize
with you, Kevin. I really have.

Okay, I've held my tongue

as your rich, spoiled ass
got sent

to this Four Seasons
for almost killing my daughter,

when most anybody else
would've got sent to jail.

I've held my tongue while you've
whined about your childhood,

a childhood which
I was there for, by the way,

which I bore witness to.

Your football tosses
on the lawn with Dad,

your tummy rubs from Mom
when you had a fever.

See, Barbara may not
have been there,

but I was there,
so don't you dare try

to pull that same lame-ass
piece of wool over my eyes, bro.

Okay? I've held my tongue,

but I will not hold my tongue
while you go after our mother

-for not parenting you...
-I'm not going after our mother,

Randall. Why do you always
twist things around like that?

-I'm not going after... -He's
not twisting anything, Kevin.

-He's simply defending me.
-Oh, I'm sorry, Mom.

You're right. I'm sorry.
Why don't you take his side

because that's... See,
this is what I'm talking about.

-I am not taking anybody's side.
-Hey, man, you want to talk

about your tortured childhood,
you want to compare baggage?

-No, Randall, Randall, listen...
-Yeah, let's do that.

No, I would never compare my
tortured childhood with yours,

Randall, because I wasn't
abandoned or adopted

or I didn't have anxiety
or I'm not a genius

-or any of those... -No, you're
definitely not that, Kevin.

You know what else you're not?

You're not an addict.

Okay?

The only thing that
you're addicted to is attention.

I mean, what happened, Kev?
Your movie wrapped?

You weren't rolling with Sly
and Ron Howard anymore?

Nobody was looking at you?

So you had to get us
all up here,

all eyes on you.

Cue drug problem.

Okay.

Okay, Kev.

Okay, guys.

No, you know what,
I-I just... I'm...

I want to know your thoughts
on this, Randall.

Why do you think your daughter
was hiding in my car?

Why do you think

your daughter was hiding
in my car?

You ever thought about that?

-She's avoiding
the Randall Show.

-Don't you dare talk about
my daughter. -KEVIN: No, no.

Welcome to the Randall Show,
ladies and gentlemen.

-REBECCA: Kevin. Kevin.
-Adopted by white people.

Two dads. Does it get
any more interesting than that?

Well, not for Randall.

So, you-you move your
dying father into your home

without thinking
about what your wife

or what your kids think of that,
and then you bring some-some

strange girl into the house
after he dies, right?

And the only person
sitting there

that no one's
paying attention to

-is your daughter, Tess.
-You know what, I'm done, man.

-No, Randall, Randall...
-And cue Randall out the door,

cue Mom chasing
her favorite son.

This is such a predictable
movie. You are so predictable.

-You raise your voice to her
one more time. -Hey. Hey. Hey.

All your children you love
equally, right?

-Yes, I do love all my children
the same. -Yeah, I'm sure

that you do. Wouldn't it
feel refreshing, though,

just to right here
in this forum,

'cause this is where you do
that kind of stuff,

to just tell everyone the truth,

which is that you love
Randall the most.

-Oh, that's not true, Kevin.

-That's absolutely ridiculous.

-I'm not gonna say that, Kevin.

Yeah, okay, it's ridiculous,
then name me one thing

that you and I have.

One thing that you and I have

that is special,
that is just you and me.

Not-not-not all of us. Not me
and Randall. Not me and Kate.

Kevin, can you please stop?

I-I-I'm-I'm flustered
and it's not kind of you,

-what you're doing. -Just admit
that you love Randall more.

-Hey. -We can stop pretending
to be this perfect family.

No, he was just easier!

:
He was easier

and he didn't recoil
when I touched him.

And he wasn't
some sullen teenager

who was angry at me
for no reason and he didn't...

abandon me and move away
after his father died.

-Hey, Toby.
-Yeah, Beth.

We're day-drinking on family day
from Kevin's rehab place.

I know, it's like
an Alanis Morissette lyric.

'Cause it's ironic.

MIGUEL:
Okay. Big thought.

Here it is: cheese fries.

Ooh. I could get down and dirty
with some cheese fries.

Toberman?

-Mm. Uh-uh.
-Come on.

Don't tell me you're not
about the cheese fries, man.

Look.

I found a bunch of junk food
at the bottom of our trash can.

Kate has fallen off the wagon
and is hiding it from me.

Well, who knows,

maybe she'll tell Kevin
at therapy.

Or maybe she'll tell Randall
or her mom, you know,

one of, one of the Pearsons
on the inside.

You know, when I was a kid,
I was obsessed with Star Wars.

I loved that it was
this huge story, right,

where a bunch of people
come together

to fight these giant wars.

But when you break it down,

it's really just about
a few people on the inside

who know what's up.

Luke and Vader.

Leia and Obi-Wan.

They were on the inside.

And they're having
lightsaber battles on bridges,

and they're talking
about big stuff

and everybody else
is pretty much Chewbacca.

So in this story the three of us
are Chewbacca?

If the Chewie fits, Beth.

MIGUEL:
I married my best friend's wife.

Nobody talks about it, but
everyone's always thinking it.

I've been on the outside of this
family since I entered it.

I'm not even Chewbacca.

I'm one of the fighter pilots
who doesn't even have a name.

That's not true, Miguel.

It is.

And I'm okay with that.

You see, Toby, those four
lived through something

very unique together.
They lived through the loss

of the best man that any of us
will ever know.

And that's why they get to be
on the inside, Toby.

That's why they get
the lightsabers.

How drunk is Miguel?

Whoa.

Hi.

Announcement.

We did not

: make it back
before the rain started.

I can see that.

Go, go put some dry clothes on.

Here, do you want a towel?

-JACK: Uh, yes.
-Here.

Thank you.

You're not amused
by my entrance.

Yeah, I had a real day here
with Kevin.

-Oh, I'm sorry.
-It's okay.

I took Kate
to the ice cream parlor.

-I know.

-Jack, we just talked
about that. -I-I know.

I just, I just, I couldn't,

I couldn't stand the way
she was looking at me.

It was like I'd betrayed her.

I would've given her
all the ice cream in the world

to get her to stop looking at me
like that.

You know, I get that look
all the time.

That's just what it means
to be the family bad guy.

No, you're not the bad guy.

I'm the bad guy. I am. I'm...

I'm the one that fights
with Kate

about whether or not to put
a Fruit Roll-Up in her lunch.

I'm the one Kevin
says that he hates.

You're the good guy.

You are. You're the guy that
announces family vacations.

And you're the one who takes
them on those secret trips

to Toys "R" Us when you're out
running errands with them.

Ah, you know about those?

-Oh, the bad guy knows
everything. -Right.

I'll be more firm with Kate
about the food, okay?

I will. I can be the bad guy.

-No, you can't.
-Yes, I can.

No, you can't, but that's okay.

Plus, I'll give our kids
something to talk about

in therapy one day.

You know, for a bad guy,

you have one hell of a disguise.

That is such a good guy
thing to say.

That is. Mmm.

That was intense.

Yeah.

I'm very glad
Toby was not here for that.

He probably would have cried,
right?

Oh, he would have cried
the entire time.

I really like that he cries,
by the way.

-Me, too.
-Mm.

But it would have been too much.

Way, way too much.

You're not wrong, you know.

I think...

I think losing Dad
the way we did, when we did,

it just, it's so much a part
of this, you know.

Of all of us.

May I?

You know what
would have been sweet?

If we had someone documenting
our entire childhood,

Boyhood style.

-Mm, I hate that movie.
-Never saw it.

I really loved it.

I'm just saying,
if we had someone

filming our entire childhood,
objectively,

then we'd never have to debate
about anything.

Whenever we remembered things
differently, we'd just say,

"Let's go to the videotape,"

like Warner Wolf and then see
what was really up.

Who's Warner Wolf?

Sportscaster
guy, when we were growing up;

used to always say:
"Let's go to the videotape."

Then they'd play the highlights.

-Warner Wolf.
-Oh. Oh, yeah.

I remember when they were
fitting me for glasses as a kid.

I never actually realized
just how blurry

everything had always been,

until they stuck my face
in this weird thing they called

"The Better Machine."

FEMALE DOCTOR:
Is this better?

Or is this better?

The... first one.

Is this better?
Or is this better?

So many variations,
so many lenses--

each one sharper or blurrier.

My view of the entire world
shifted like 12 times

in less than a minute.

I think everyone sees their
childhood with different lenses.

You know,
different perspectives.

And I didn't come here today

to crap all over
your perspective, Kev.

I came here today
because last year,

when I was at my lowest...

Bro, I was crying on the floor
and I was shaking, and--

hey, Kev, look at me.

Please.

You were there for me, man.

And I wanted to be there
for you today and I wasn't.

I did a bad job today
and I'm sorry.

I'm really sorry about Tess.

I know.

I love my crazy-ass brothers.

I really do.

So just to clarify:

it's official that
I'm Mom's favorite, right?

That's unbelievable.

Yes, you are. I mean,
I think she clarified it.

Really?
-Mm-hmm.

-Oh, I feel that-- oh!

It was Kev, it was Kev!

Our Uber is going to be here
in four minutes.

Still can't believe

that you left the car
at the bar.

Yeah, well...

Hey, can I ask you something
while I still have a...

a brave beer buzz?

Actually, can I just say
something first?

Um...

okay.

Ever since the miscarriage,

I have been...

hiding junk food.

Like, a lot.

'Cause it makes me feel good.

But hiding it from you
makes me feel awful.

So, I wanted you to know.

I have a lot of things
mixed up with food.

And I thought that my issues
were kind of obvious.

But I don't know.

I-I don't know.

Hey, bud.

Brought you some dinner.

I even made it
with the crunchy cheese on top,

the way you like it.

Hey, Kev.

I'm really sorry.

I want you to know
that if you tell me

you didn't take
Randall's glasses,

I believe you.

Okay.

All right. Well...

we're just right inside
if you need anything.

Kate?

Randall?

Hey, Mom...

*

Mom?

I'm sorry.

I asked someone
where your room was,

and I just came to wait for you.

'Cause I couldn't leave
without... talking to you.

Feel like we've done enough
talking for one day, though,

right?

I was, um...

thinking about, uh,
your first day of kindergarten.

And I remember walking you three
into the classroom,

with Randall clinging to my leg
and your sister crying.

But you just...

You waltzed right in.

And you didn't...

you didn't even look back.

And...

your father and I were like,

"Wow, look at
our brave little boy."

And I remember
telling the other two,

"Now you have to learn
to be just like Kevin."

Yeah.

I never worried about you.

Because I didn't think
that I had to.

But now I realize
that I was wrong.

*

I didn't have
an unhappy childhood.

* Into my mind, into the deep

* Taking me up
to the observatory *

* See if the moon
and the stars agree *

It wasn't as good as I thought.

* To take me out...

But I know we had moments,
you and me, Kevin.

I know we did.

:
I feel it in my bones.

* Where you been hiding?

* What you been running from?

* Two worlds colliding...

Yeah, maybe we did.

I hope we did.

* Everybody hides

* Everybody bleeds

* Everybody wants

* Everybody needs

* Love

* But maybe I ain't the one. *

Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH