All language subtitles for The.Madwoman.of.Chaillot.1969.HDTV.x264-REGRET

At ease.

Gentlemen, I will be brief.

You've completed
your training.

And now, you stand ready to take
your places in the front ranks

of the regiments your
forefathers made famous.

Your superiors have sought
to lighten the load

our nation has been
forced to carry.

We have divested ourselves
of our colonial possessions.

We've broken our historic ties
with United States

and with an island once known
as Great Britain.

We've made no detente
with the Russians

or with the Germans.

We stand alone.

Proud, independent, glorious.

We are today, after Homeric
efforts and sacrifices

a nuclear power,
we have the bomb.

My generation assures you

who inherit the fruits
of our labors

that if and when,
sooner or later

Europe is incinerated

France will not
be found wanting.

A French bomb will explode
with the others.

No, no.

- No, no, no.
- What is this outrage?

Why? I've nothing
to do with them.

I'm an honest,
law-abiding woman.

- No, madame...
- And I'm on an import...

Great find.

From the men's room of The
Apartheid Club in Johannesburg.

Great find.

Great find.

You know how much
I paid for it?

I paid a million Francs
for that.

For one million Francs,
you can have my whole toilet.

- Now.
- No, not now.

- What are you doin' in here?
- What does it look like?

- I'm bleeding to death.
- On my towels?

Don't worry. Have 'em framed.
They might be worth something.

How did it happen?

Did it, uh,
did it happen in bed?

Some of us are wounded
in the streets.

I demand to know what you
were doing at that time?

You want some lemon mousse?

What do you think you're
doing?

You come in here.
You come in here.

You walk straight through
your auntie's bedroom.

You use my bathroom.

I should like to remind you
of something.

There is such a thing
as common politeness.

Get out, you!
Get out! Out!

I don't have to be grateful
for your charity.

I can move out.

What would you do
if you moved out?

- I should live.
- You'd starve.

- You would end up in a toilet.
- Big deal.

All these on the wall,
be just like home.

You know what you are,
you're a Rolls-Royce Communist.

You want to travel
to the barricades first class.

- On my money.
- Wealth like yours.

It's acquired through
the blood and toil of others.

It's dirty money.
I know.

Have you noticed this one?

From the men's room
of the YMCA, Jerusalem.

Hebrew graffiti
is almost unknown, you know.

- No, I didn't know.
- What does it do to you?

- Do to me?
- Yes, does it shock you?

Does it excite you?
What does it do to you?

- It just saddens me.
- What does that mean?

When they dig this up
in the 40th century

they'll learn more from these
things than the new testament.

How can it sadden you?

When I was at school,
I used to draw those.

You should've kept 'em.
Cornered the market.

Alright, I'll liberate you
from your sad conscience.

What do you want most?
You wanna change the world?

I want my generation
to have a voice.

You wanna get rid
of the establishment.

- Make a new establishment.
- A better one.

That goes without saying.
They're always better.

Until they...until
they are proved the same.

Go back and finish
your breakfast.

And shut the door.

So use me. Make use
of my filthy money.

My power if you like.
I'll make you a present of it.

Here.

You want to save mankind.

This is the instrument.

What is it?

It's the means
to justify the ends.

Because if you have
to clean out a sewer

you need to get
your hands dirty.

Inside this suitcase is the very
latest type of plastic bomb.

It's okay,
it's not fused yet.

In room 22,
in the Palais de Chaillot

now, at this moment,
there's a meeting going on.

A meeting which could decide
your future and mine.

Now, at this very instant,
a group of men are planning

to crush China
with nuclear weapons.

Even at the risk
of starting World War III.

Serious family men
who go to church

when the newsreel
cameras are rolling

and kiss their
children goodnight.

Just faceless,
ordinary monsters.

If you want to live with your
conscience, do us all a favor.

The Chinese included.

Blow them up.

Then come back, and we'll talk
about your principles.

Rosary?

Oh.

Mr. Commissar.
How are you?

And again, please don't worry.
Have faith like me.

Now, a gentleman
whom I don't know

will meet us
at the cafe over here.

He'll give us
our answer.

- He's a genius.
- You don't know him

- and yet you say he's a genius?
- I give you my word.

I've never laid my eyes on him.
Yet, when eventually we meet

we'll know each other
to the depths of our souls.

- My dear Commissar.
- Ah.

You know the General, I think,
by repute anyway.

Berlin '45.
Those were good days.

The best.

Reverend, sorry we're late.
The traffic, I'm afraid.

Mr. Chairman.

Like the poor,
the Citroens breed like flies.

The General, here.

- General, pleased to meet you.
- Reverend.

I hope we're not going
to have appalling service.

- No, I've briefed them, sir.
- Well, hurry them up, Julius.

You know, it's the same thing
with domestic help.

We're actually down
to four gardeners.

What will you have? I told them
to get in my special scotch.

Fine, fine.

You don't mind,
I'll stay on coke.

- Monsieur.■
- Oh, there you are.

Bring my own scotch.
And one coke and some cigars.

Sure.

God! Beau.
Did you get that?

- Hmm.
- Hmm.

- It's not every man's poison.
- It reminds me of my childhood.

- Tell him to bring the bottle.
- Bottle?

The scotch. I want
the bottle on the table.

You see, I know these people.
I came from them.

Fortunately, I escaped.

You came from a poor family,
did you, Mr. Chairman?

I believe, I was one
of 11. I'm not sure.

Mother spent most of her life
bent over a wash tub

in order to send me
to a good school.

I'll always be
grateful to her.

But you know...I just
can't remember her face.

In fact, my only
memories of her

are of a rather large
rear-view as it were.

Oh, what have we here?

- Please don't encourage them.
- No, thank you.

They'll make things
impossible for us.

Just go away, will you?
We're not here to buy things.

What are we doing here,
by the way?

What I always admired
about the Commissar

is that he never lets
the grass grow in Wall Street.

Our first task
is to find a name.

We can't smoke this.

What do you think we are,
travelling salesmen?

Bring us a selection of Habanos.

A name that will stir the pulse.
It will set the brain up well.

That will inspire confidence
like a cathedral.

You want suggestions, eh?

All we have
is a blank space.

I think the word "miracle"
has a certain ring to it.

Yes, but that's been
overworked by the Japanese.

No, I was thinking
of something like, uh

United General International.

Yes, that's very good.
It's very good.

That was
just an example.

It's already been used,
that one.

Too bad.

It isn't my line.
That's a lot better.

We can try these, gentlemen.

- General.
- Thank you.

- Excuse me? Did you drop this?
- What? I never drop anything.

- Then this money isn't yours?
- All money is mine.

It actually was yours, was it?

It was certainly
more mine than his.

Hundred Franc notes are
for the rich, not the poor.

Waiter. Will you see
that we are not disturbed.

This place is like a circus.

I'll get that.

Get him away, too.

- What's he doing?
- I don't know, sir.

Only Irma
understands him. Irma.

What's all this about?

Oh, he says it is a very
beautiful morning, sir.

But it was nicer before you
stuck your face into it.

I'm sorry about
all these disturbances.

Now, uh, what were we saying?

- The name. The name.
- Oh, yes.

Well, it's my reputation.

In the course of my life

I personally organized
11 great corporations.

On the basis of 11
magnificent names.

You can appreciate
this one

the round dozen
must be a masterpiece.

Well, don't worry about it.

It will come too.

Extraordinary.

- That's it.
- What is it?

That face.

The blonde, you mean?

No, no, no. Not the girl.
No. That face.

The one with his nose
to the glass.

Friend of yours?

I've never seen him
before in my life.

It's a face that's been
to the edge of the world.

And looked over.

And now it's looking at me.

Yes, that's it.

He understands.

Gentlemen. Our problems
are at an end.

Did I miss something?

I mean, is there some
significance in that man?

Reverend, one look
at that face, and I knew.

One look at mine, and he knew.
He'll be over.

- And when he comes?
- He'll tell me what to do.

Business is done this way,
with total strangers?

Commissar, I trust neither
my wife nor my daughter

or my best friend.

- No, all that's normal.
- But a face like that.

I would trust
with my inmost secrets.

Extraordinary.

Not really.

Look at him. Those sullen lips,
those furtive eyes.

The reflection of death
in the features.

Those are guarantees
of loyalty guilt-edged.

It's fantastic,
I'm always this lucky.

Oh, really, really, Dickey.

You are the most irritating
dog to take for a walk.

How are you, Gabrielle?

You needn't shout.

It's Wednesday.
Wednesdays, I hear perfectly.

It's Thursday.

And I brought Aurelia
as a witness to your folly.

True love is never a folly.

Why must you be so cruel.

Oh, where is he?

You'll see.

Is that all?

I prefer it that way.

He...he is the soul of courtesy.

They are the worst kind,
Gabrielle. Beware.

He'll make you put on black
riding boots while he dances

the can-can around you,
singing god-knows-what filth

at the top of his lungs.

You think that is
what he has in mind?

Of course. Men have lost
all sense of decency.

Aurelia, must you talk sex
in front of Gabrielle.

Why not?

After all, there are two sexes.

But Gabrielle is
a V-I-R-G-I-N.

Well, she can't be that
innocent. She keeps canaries.

In any event, the whole thing

has been a complete waste
of my time.

Good morning, ladies.

Merde!

Keep the change.

Incredible news.

- Commissar, Reverend.
- Robert, good to see you.

- We haven't met, have we?
- No.

General, this is Robert.
My stock-broker.

- How do you do?
- Wonderful to have you.

Sit down and have a drink?

Don't have a drink.
Tell us what's happened.

Julius, get me
my latest quotations.

Now, tell us all.
No. Wait a minute.

Will you get him
out of here? Out!

Well. The market opens at 10.

Half a million shares issued
at par, one hundred.

And by the way, I had already
put a little 'Wall' rumor

in circulation,
before breakfast.

So it squirted
on the curve at 124.

And we start buying
at 125, 26, 29...

- Now, who is "we"?
- Me.

130, 132, and it's going
up and up and up.

Just like the mercury on the
first perfect day of summer.

136, 141.

By now, I've every chance
to drop in a few names.

A hint here and there.

Nothing much, but quite
sufficient until today.

More sunny days with ICI.

Maybe a merger with
Eastern Hennequin.

Eastern Hennequin.

- We started that.
- Really?

And it's still climbing.
143, 145.

It tops the magic figure at 150.

Classic, classic.

- Now, could I ask you...
- Don't, it'll only confuse you.

Go ahead.

But I thought,
enough is enough.

Don't let's get
too overconfident.

Now.

Our agents plant a story about
a new tax-owned capital.

Market falls.
Down, down, down.

The sun goes in,
120, 112, 107, 103.

Below par, 97, 93.

And, of course, at 93,
we'll start buying back again.

Beautiful.

At 11:30, government officially
denies tax rumors.

And the market goes bullish.

97, 99, over par again
in one great swoop.

122, 1-3-4, 1-4-6 and by
noon we've got it all back.

Net profit.

Five and half million dollars.

Perfect. Just perfect.

Yes, I thought it was
pretty good, myself.

- Now, do I get that drink?
- Waiter.

- The final quotation, sir.
- Hmm.

Robert, you're a bit out.

I made only five million two
today, so you pay for lunch.

Am I hearing things?

Or does he keep singing the same
two lines over and over?

You're quite right.
This place is a circus.

I must apologize.
Where is the waiter?

Now, you miss.

Can't you stop this idiot
from annoying your patrons?

- Well, who is he annoying?
- Us, who else?

Nobody has ever
complained before.

You should all be pleased.
He's got a very good voice.

His only trouble is, he can't
remember the rest of the song.

- Otherwise, he'd be perfect.
- Unbelievable.

Now, you just tell him to move
away. We don't know his song.

You know me, sir.
Know me?

And it's quite incredible
as the years pass

how much one can't recall.

Oh, my card, sir. Paul Jadin,
doctor of medicine.

If you wish to consult me
ever, my office is there.

Third table, weekdays,
from 2:00 to 6:00.

Well.

I need a name.

I need a quarter of a million.

A very proper sum.

On account of
50% of 100% of profits.

Without questions.

To be paid
into a numbered account.

Of course.
It goes without saying.

Now..

...the name.

It's for a corporation.

- Something, uh..
- Unusual.

Yes. I know.

250,000 in cash.
No checks.

Yes, I understood you perfectly.

International Substrate
of Paris Limited.

Robert. 250,000 dollars
in cash.Arrangeit.

You're happy
with that name, are you?

Happy? I'm delirious.

But what does it mean?

It means what it says.
I'm a prospector.

And now that you have your name,
you need a property.

Precisely.

- I have one.
- In France?

In Paris.

It's all in the title.

In the title?
You say, it's all in the title.

Substrate? Underground.

Gold.

Oil.

He's crazy.

Yes. Yes, it seems
a little out of line.

Oil?

Are you quite certain?

Excuse me, gentlemen.

I'm obviously
at the wrong table.

- No, no.
- Understand one thing.

I deal only in facts.

Yes, of course.
Please forgive us.

There's no question
of doubting your work.

Well, now.

Where can my organization
be of help?

Obviously, you've got a plan.

- Oh, yes.
- Well, then just say the word.

No. I think the first word
should be yours, gentlemen.

Money is one thing,
trust is another.

Before I reveal my secrets.

We need a little,
horse...trading.

Yes.

Yes, that's fair enough.

I think I know what you want.

Shall I start?

You mean this sort
of thing, don't you?

On December 30th, 1941,
The Saint Barb

a cargo ship flying
a neutral flag was torpedoed

and sank with all hands.

I set it up myself.

Having insured it
for three times its value.

- Yes.
- Fine.

Well, mine was a mistake.

In order to get started
again after the war.

I flew to the company
which made, uh..

...substandard penicillin.

As a result of which

a certain number
of children went blind.

I sent four of my best officers
to their certain death

because I suspected one of them
to...to be my wife's lover.

As it happened,
she was quite blameless.

In comparison
to you gentlemen

my life has been spotless.

All I have is the original
manuscript of Doctor Zhivago.

Dedicated to me
in Boris' own handwriting.

I'll hand it over to you.

I believe God's word must be
furthered whatever the cost

I didn't always question
as fully as I might

where my financial
support came from.

Some of my funds originated with
an extreme anti-semitic group.

Well, are we in business?

Oh, yes. I think so.

Then tell us.

Where is the oil?

- You're sitting on it.
- Right here in Chaillot?

- Right under your seat.
- Good heavens. Chaillot?

Here in Chaillot?

The earth of Chaillot
is soggy with oil.

I mean, I've been sitting
around here for 30 years.

- Did you ever taste the water?
- The water? Good heavens, no.

Then you denied yourself
a rare pleasure. Water.

General, uh, gentlemen,
is the one substance

from which the earth
can conceal nothing.

I have a good nose.

I have an incomparable nose.

From the moment I caught
the barest scent

I've worked my way across Paris,
glassful by glassful.

Taking untold risks
with my bowels.

Sampling from a 1000 saucers

until at last I came
to this cafe.

And here, just two days ago,
that girl

brought me, my first sip.

My heart began to pound.

She mistook my ecstasy
for common lust.

I was trembling like a leaf.
I took another.

Was it possible my search
could be over?

I took a third,
a fourth, a fifth.

There wasnomistake.
Ihadfound it.

And each time I drank,
my taste buds thrilled

to the most exquisite
flavor known to man.

Petroleum.

Miss. Waiter.

Never mind.
Let's go inside.

- Waiter.
- Yes, sir.

Give us some water
and some glasses.

Evian?

No, you fool. Your best tap
water, tap water, tap water...

- Shh.
- Come on, man.

Not these. Champagne glasses.

- Uh, what are we...
- Wait a minute, General.

- Put your cigar out.
- Why?

There could be a risk of fire.

What are we supposed
to be looking for?

Revelations.

Yes. Yes, get it?

I think so.

- Is it sort of bitter?
- No, no, it's uh...

It's not bitter.
It's more tangy than bitter.

- Definitely there though.
- I believe you.

This water always
tasted like petrol to me.

Here I am, with the greatest
discovery of the age on my hands

and they won't let me
dig for it.

But, uh..

...I do have a plan.

Are my bones ready, Irma?
And my gizzard.

Oh, I don't think there'll
be much today, Countess.

Oh, wait a minute.
Could you wait a minute?

I've got someone over there
who's just finishing.

He should show some discretion.

It's the height of bad manners
to eat everything.

If not the gizzard,
then the giblets.

I can find a home
for the giblets.

The tomcat that lives
under the bridge dotes on them.

One could actually say
without exaggeration

that he dotes on them.

Yes.

Extraordinary.

How the taste lingers
in the mouth.

So, uh, my plan.
We were discussing my plan.

Have you found it yet,
my feather boa?

Not yet, Countess.
Three scarves but no boa.

Bloody mitts. It's five
years since I lost it.

Oh, take one of these.
Nobody's claimed them.

Oh, how about this one?

With my pink rose, and my blue
veil. You're not serious.

Let me see that striped one.

A boa like that doesn't
just vanish, you know.

A feather boa, nine feet long.

Thank you.

- How do I look?
- Superb, Countess.

Yes, it must have been
lost for you.

Here. Here's something
to sop it up with.

No, I don't want that.
I want the manager.

- You.
- Oh, what is it now?

What is it? It's you.

It's that fellow, that juggler,
that screeching singer.

This female lunatic.

Oh, Mr. Chairman, I-I really do
think that, public relations...

Yes-yes, I think we should
just accept the situation.

I accept nothing, General.
Once you accept, you're doomed.

- Tribune.
- And here's another one.

I don't buy news.
I make it.

Accept these creatures,
and they'll eat you alive.

- Oh, Countess.
- Look at them.

They come here, in Chaillot,
the very citadel of management.

They have the audacity to beard
us with raffish individualism.

With the right
of the voiceless to sing

the dumb to make speeches,
the unemployed to juggle.

But why concern yourself?
What do they matter?

Commissar, I should tell you.

Whenever the poor are happy
and servants are proud

whenever the mad are respected,
then power is at an end.

It is anarchy.

The only hope for order is the
standard citizencomputerized.

Look at that mad woman.

The waiters install her
with a flourish

even though she doesn't
order anything.

Do I get that sort of service?

What would happen if I,
a president of 12 corporations

and a millionaire ten times
over was to stick an iris

in my button hole and yell,
"Are my bones ready, Irma?"

You see?

Have I proved my point?

We were discussing my plan.

Oh, yes. Of course.

Your plan. Forgive me.

Have you any idea
of the exact location

of the city planner's office
in the Palais de Chaillot?

It's in Room 22.

Room 22. The office
of a bureaucratic idiot.

The city planner
who has stubbornly refused

to give me a drilling permit.

Despite influences,
bribes, threats...

- Promote him.
- Is that all too common

dangerous phenomenon,
the self-satisfied man.

Well, we have a saying. If you
can't promote them, kill them.

You anticipate me.

In exactly..

...one minute from now..

...a bomb will explode.

The new city planner
has already been chosen.

And I think we may confidently
expect him to be more reasonable

What happened?

What happened, Sergeant?

A drowned man.

Drowned. His clothes are dry?

Is it possible
that he was slugged?

Well, slugged is also correct.

He was jumping off the bridge,
my colleague had to apply force.

Otherwise, he would have
been dragged under too.

That's paragraph 2, page 16 of
the police life-saving method.

Which can be verified
in any public library.

Yes, well, what's he doing?

Well, my colleague is applying
the Schaefer method

of artificial respiration.

As laid down by the well-known
authority on drowning.

But he isn't drowning.

That method's only meant
for people who drown in water.

It's no use at all for people
who've drowned without water.

Well, what else can I do?

- I've got to go by the book.
- It's perfectly simple.

You throw him back in, then jump
in after him and save his life.

That way, you'll get a medal.

This way, you'll merely
be thrown out of the force

for striking an innocent man.

- I can report that, can I?
- Oh, yes, as my agent.

My agents are always innocent.

- I'll look after this.
- Right.

Uh, who is that, sir?

The personal correspondent
of The Times.

Oh. Well, you understand I was
not a witness to this crime.

- Well?
- Apparently, it was his agent.

- The matter is under control.
- Meaning the one with the bomb?

Taxi!

I think we should make
ourselves scarce.

Now, report all developments
and tell the prospector

that if necessary, I'll prove
I've never seen him before.

Any scandal would be tragic
at this point.

I'll just sayaurevoir. See you
at the next board meeting.

To best of my knowledge, which
admittedly isn't up to date

the latest method is to apply
mouth-to-mouth resuscitation.

Mm-hmm. Have you any medical
qualification, sir?

Possibly not,
but I am a doctor.

Ahh. So what would
you suggest, sir?

It depends entirely
on what's wrong with you.

As a matter of fact..

Oh, how beautiful he is.

Is he dead?

Hold that mirror
over his mouth.

If it clouds over..

- It clouds over.
- He's alive.

How beautiful.

No, no, don't let go
of my hand.

When you let someone go,
you never see them again.

I let Alphonse Becton go,
and I never saw him again.

As the Sergeant here
will testify.

He's better looking, wouldn't
you say, than Alphonse Becton?

- I wouldn't know, madame.
- But I showed you his photo.

- The one with the bicycle.
- Oh, the one with the hair-lip?

Well, that was not a hair-lip.

It was a scratch
on the negative.

- What are you doing?
- I want the young man's name.

- Given name and date of birth.
- You think that'll stop him?

I'm not going to tell him.
He's going to tell me.

I wouldn't tell you mine.
Don't be silly, sergeant.

Put that book away
and console him.

- Console him?
- When people want to die

it's your duty to speak out
in praise of life, not mine.

I assume you have some motive
for interfering with his attempt

to kill himself.

If you believe that life has
some value, tell him what it is.

Convince the young man that life
is worth living.

- It isn't.
- Silence!

What was the idea
of jumping off that bridge?

The idea was to land
in the river.

He doesn't seem to be
at all confused about that.

- If you keep interrupting...
- I'll be quiet.

- Thank you, madam.
- Countess.

Countess, yes.

Now, look here young man...

Roderick. Kindly call people
by their right names.

How did you know my name
was Roderick?

It's obvious. Just as
Alphonse Becton wasn't Alphonse.

People are named for what
they are. Continue, Sergeant.

Well, first of all,
you must realize

that suicide is a crime
against a state.

- Why?
- Why?

Well, because, eh, every time
anybody commits suicide

it's a soldier less for the army
and tax payer less for the...

Sergeant, what are you? A lover
of life or a tax collector?

I'd defy anyone to stop dying
on your account.

Ah, well, perhaps
you can do better.

Certainly. This is not
a difficult case at all.

In the first place, why should
he still want to die

when he's just fallen in love
with someone

who's just fallen in love
with him?

What?

What are you saying?

Roderick, I know why you were in
such a hurry to drown yourself.

No, you don't.

That prospector wanted you
to commit a horrible crime.

- How did you know that?
- He stole my boa

and now he wants you
to kill me.

- Not exactly.
- Well, they can't kill me.

Because I have
no desire to die.

How fortunate.

To be alive is
to be fortunate, Roderick

To be alive is
to be fortunate.

Of course, when you first awake,
it doesn't seem so very gay.

When you take your hair out
of the door

and your teeth out of the glass

you're quite likely to feel
a little out of place

in this naughty world.

Particularly, if you've been
dreaming you're a little girl

on a pony looking
for strawberries in the woods.

But all you need in order to
feel the call of life again

is a letter in the morning mail

giving you your schedule
for the day.

You write it yourself
the day before.

For instance, here are my
assignments for this morning.

To mend my petticoat
with red thread

to curl my ostrich feathers,
to write my grandmother

to save at least
one young man, etc, etc, etc.

And when I washed my face
with rosewater and scrubbed it

not with those idiotic
cleansing creams they sell now

but with a good
stiff kitchen brush.

And put on my pins, rings,
brooches, pearls

bracelets and necklaces.

In short, when I'm dressed
for my coffee

and have had a good look
at myself

not in the glass, naturally,
it lies

but in the side
of the brass gong

that once belonged
to Admiral Corbay.

Then, Roderick, then,
I'm armed. I'm strong.

I'm ready to begin again.

Oh, my darling.
My pretty darling.

After that, everything
is pure delight.

First the morning paper.

Not these current sheets
full of lies and vulgarities.

I always read the Gonwa.

Do you see
what March 22nd, 1919

is by far the best.

It has some delightful scandals,
some excellent fashion doubts

and the last minute bulletin
on the death of Leonid Leblanc.

She used to live next door.
Poor woman.

And when I learn
of her death every morning

it gives me quite a start.

To recover from which,
I take my fruit salts

not in water naturally.

For no matter what they say,
it's water that gives you gas.

But with a piece
of spice cake.

And then, Roderick, then

in sunlight or in rain..

...shine pours.

And it's time to dress
for my morning walk.

Then and only then
do I begin my rounds.

I have my cats to feed, my dogs
to pet, my plants to water.

But I have a good long stride,
and I generally manage.

Don't I, my friends?

Yes, the flowers have been
marvelous this year

and the butcher's dog
on the Rue Greuze

in spite of that wretch
who tried to poison him

is friskier than ever.

That dog had better watch out.
He has no license.

Perhaps he doesn't feel
the need for one.

Have you any qualification
for saying that, sir?

Possibly not,
but I'm a vet.

So you see, Roderick.
That's life.

- How does it seem to you now?
- Oh, it seems marvelous.

And that's only the morning.

Wait until I tell you
about you the afternoon.

Madam, would you please
let go of the hand?

Certainly not.
I'm holding his hand because

I shall need his arm in a few
moments to take me home.

- I'm very easily frightened.
- Officer, arrest this woman.

- What for?
- What for?

It's against the law for a woman
to detain a man on the street.

Uh-h, Countess..

Strictly between ourselves,
what are you holding him for?

I'm holding him
because Irma wants me to.

If I let go,
it'll break her heart.

Right! I shall take
your number.

Take his number.
It's three one, three two

which adds up to nine,
it'll bring you luck.

What's he saying, Irma?

He say's the young man's life
is in danger if he goes.

I'm warning you all
for the last time.

Oh, no. I saw that. That was a
assault on a person unknown.

I witnessed it.

I'm afraid, sir, I'll have
to remove you for your safety.

- The boy's my nephew.
- Abuse will get you nowhere.

I'll have your number.

The accused used foul language
and had to be restrained.

I-I happen to be a lawyer.

What did you do?
Murder someone?

Well, I meant to. I was gonna
blow a room full of warmongers.

Oh, no! No, he's wrong.
His uncle lied to him.

It was just a trick.

If the bomb had gone off..

...it would have
killed the city planner.

What an extraordinary thing.
Is this possible?

Yes, very possible.

I'm beginning to understand now.

He was using me
to further his own plans.

He wants to destroy
the whole city.

Not with bombs
but with his machines.

They're all ready to move in.

In 3 months, if he has his way

Paris will be covered by a
forest of derricks and drills.

But what are they looking for?
Have they lost something?

For oil, Countess.

They're convinced that Paris
is sitting on a lake of oil.

Well, suppose it is.
What harm does it do?

Is this reason
to destroy a city?

For them, yes, Countess.

What would they do
with this oil?

It gives them the power to
destroy other cities, Countess.

What a wretched world
they live in. So unlike ours.

I think we should forget
about them.

Countess, if only you knew.

If only I knew what?

Shall we tell her?

What?

What are you hiding from me?

Nothing, Countess.

It's you who are hiding.

You see, there was a time when
old clothes were as good as new.

In fact, they were
better because..

...when people wore clothes,
they gave something to them.

But that was
a long time ago, Countess.

Just as there was a time when..

...wh-when garbage
was a pleasure.

Oh, it smelled a little strange,
or it seemed confused.

It was because th-there was
everything there. The smell of..

...of sardines, of iodine,
cologne, roses.

An amateur might lead
to the wrong conclusion.

But to a professional,
it was the smell of life.

It still is.

No, Countess,
the world has changed.

The garbage has changed.

Nonsense.

How could it change?

The people are
the same, I hope.

People are not
the same, Countess.

People are different.

No one is involved
with anyone anymore.

The-There's been an invasion,
an infiltration.

The world isn't beautiful
any longer.

The world
is not happy.

Is this true?

The world
is not beautiful?

The world
is not happy.

Why wasn't I told?

Because you've been
dreaming a long time, Countess.

And...nobody wanted
to disturb you.

Countess, look, the-there
was a time.

Remember when you could walk
along the streets of Paris.

And everybody
you met were..

...were just
like yourself.

I mean, oh,
little cleaner maybe

or dirtier perhaps
or angry or smiling.

But you knew them.

You knew them.

I knew them too.

Then one day,
20 years ago

I saw a face
in the crowd.

Face without a face.

The eyes empty. The..

The expression not even..

It-it wasn't
a human face at all.

Saw me staring and when
it looked back at me

with it's gelatin eyes,
I shut it.

Because I knew that in order
to make room for one of them

one of us must
have left the Earth.

The world is full
of faceless people, Countess.

And once you
stop dreaming

as we all have stopped dreaming

you see them
quite clearly.

They were
here today.

They're closed,
don't drink.

When they order you about,
they don't look at you.

When they lie on you,
they don't perspire.

When they applaud you,
they make no sound.

When you're dumb, they blame
you for not talking.

But...who are
these people?

What do they do?

They do nothing,
Countess.

They feel nothing,
they give nothing.

They make nothing.

All they do ispimp.

Countess, the poets,
the peddlers, the jugglers

the innocent, the mad
are all disappearing.

The world is being
taken over by the pimps.

I can remember when a..

...a-a cabbage could sell itself
just by being a cabbage.

Today, that isn't enough.

Now even a cabbage
has it's pimp.

Nothing is free anymore to sell
itself or give itself away.

I tell you, Countess,
we're finished.

Is this true, Roderick?

Yes.

Did you know about it, Irma?

I know they want to make us
all the same, Countess.

You can't even touch the air
anymore, they poison it.

My flowers don't
last overnight.

Food goes rotten
before you serve it.

Animals are born
and die in darkness.

Only death
makes the headlines.

They're a pack of fools

and so are you.

How can you bear to live

in a world where there
is nothing but unhappiness.

Are you all cowards?

If these men are
the cause of the trouble

all we have to do
is to get rid of them.

Some have tried,
they're too strong.

There are too many
of them, Countess.

The deaf-mute
knows them all.

They employed him once

because he was deaf.

And then they fired him
because he wasn't blind.

They have all the power.

And they're greedy
for more.

If they're greedy,
they're lost.

If they're greedy,
they're stupid.

If they're greedy,
don't worry.

I know exactly
what to do.

Roderick, all of you.

By tomorrow night,
we'll be free of them.

Now then,
first things first.

Uh-h...let me see.

Is there any kerosene
in the kitchen?

Yes, I think so.

I'll need some in a dirty bottle
with mud in it.

Oh-oh, I-I'll go.

Righ-right, next.

Go and tell Madam Josephine that
I want her to be at my house

tomorrow evening at 5 o'clock.

Give Mademoiselle Gabrielle

and Madame Constance
the same message.

You know how to get
in to see Madam Constance?

No, Countess.

You knock twice
and meow three times.

Do you know
how to meow?

I'm better
at barking.

Better practice
meowing on the way.

My boa, please.

Oh, the one
that is stolen, Countess?

Who knows, it may have
turned up by now.

Things are happening.

I shall expect you all
tomorrow night.

Oh, we'll be delighted,
Countess.

Uh, well, what are you
going to do?

One must never
anticipate the past.

- Here it is, Countess.
- Ah, there you're.

Thank you,
my dear.

That will do splendidly.

Is there anything
I can do to help?

Yes, Roderick.
You shall take me home.

You still look pale.

I have some old Chartreuse
at home.

I always take
a glass once a year.

Last year, I forgot.
You shall have it.

It will put the color
back into your heart.

Alas, your feather boa still
hasn't returned, Countess.

But somebody
left this.

Is it real?

Well, it started out
in life that way.

Then, we mustn't
mock it now.

Until tomorrow, then.

Yes, Countess. Goodbye.

When we get home, Roderick

there are quite a number
of things you can do for me.

There are all the things that
need to be done in a room

that no man has entered
for 30 years.

If it clouds...he's alive.

Will you ever say to him

what you never said
to anybody else.

And will it be
in this room?

This...ugly room.

Please don't let it be
in this bed.

Let it be
somewhere else.

Somewhere with
clean white sheets

where nobody
has been before.

So that when I say it to him..

...if I say it to him..

...he'll know that
I never said it before.

Even though they tried
to make me say it

I never broke trust
with whom I waited for.

I saved that for him.

Even lying here with..

They begged me
to make it easier.

Even then..

...never said it once.

I never said
I love you.

I never said it.

Countess, sorry to have
kept you waiting.

This, uh, liquid you say,
comes from under you house?

Through the walls of my cellar.
It-it seeps into everything.

It-it lubricates my cats.

- I-I'm inundated with it.
- Ha ha. Incredible.

And, uh...how long
have you known this?

Oh, all of my life.
Is it what you think?

Uh, well, of course

I'm not qualified to give
a definite opinion

but it's possible
that, uh..

Well, the point
I'm trying to make is

thinking of your own
best interests

have you told many people
of this discovery?

No, no, no.
You're the first.

I didn't think
it worthwhile.

Quite so.

And you certainly did the right
thing in coming here to me

because...certain people..

I mean, I mention no names

but there are people
in this world, alas, who...

Who might take advantage
of the opposite sex.

They might, yes.
That's been known.

Well, then, it is normal
in these circumstances

purely for your sake,
mind you, not mine

to draw up a simple
little legal document

which takes all the worries
off your mind

and puts them all
on my shoulders.

- How kind.
- It's nothing.

I'm having my secretary
prepare it.

And then, we'll read
it together, you sign it.

And then, everything is perfect.

While we're waiting,
perhaps you could...

Show you around?
With pleasure.

I'm afraid there is
nothing much to see.

Even so, it would be of
the greatest interest to...

By all means.

- Please.
- Thank you.

Now, uh, oh, over here.
What is happening over here

is the buying and selling
of commodities.

Barley, sugar,
coffee, minerals..

- They enjoy that, do they?
- Oh, it's very interesting.

My friend, The Chairman,
is one of the largest traders

in wheat futures
in the world.

- Futures?
- Yes.

Oh, excuse me.

That means, buying wheat
in December

that will only be
harvested in June.

Ar-are you telling me that
he buys nonexistent wheat

hoping that it will be
worth more when it exists?

Precisely. Well, you've grasped
it at once.

Supposing it is
not worth more?

Well, as I said,
he is a very large trader.

If the price isn't
high enough, he burns some.

He burns the price?

No. The wheat.

He burns the wheat.

Which means that
the supplies goes down

and the price
goes up.

It is his...daily bread,
as it were.

Thank you.

Here we are, now if you'd just
like to go back into my office.

Very simple.

A little stroke
of the pen

and all your
worries are over.

But I wouldn't dream of
asking you to sign anything

until you've seen
the oil for yourself.

Oh, I'm not signing.

Only you.

- Just here.
- No.

No, I insist upon
being fair to you.

You must come to my house
at 11 tomorrow night.

Why at such
a late hour?

Well...I think it's
the type of contract

that should be
concluded at night.

Don't you?

Oh, yes.
Yes, perhaps so.

At 11, then.

It is fortunate.

No, no, no, fortunate
is not strong enough.

It is a matter of,
of supreme judgment.

That you've come to me
with this problem.

I-I-I say problem,
it is a problem no longer

since you've done me the honor
of soliciting my advice.

One always senses
when one is in the presence

of a man of destiny,
General.

My dear, Countess.

We're little men
serving...great causes.

Therefore, it is inevitable
that some of the greatness

falls upon us.

And what cause
can be greater

than the service
to one's country.

There is just
one thing.

In matters
of this kind

where national security
is concerned

I'm sure you appreciate,
we must observe certain rules.

Ah, yes.
The rules of war.

Well, not of war,
exactly.

This is magnificent,
but it isn't war, is it?

This...this is war.

Those, what are they?

These are television
monitor screens.

Television is an
instrument of war, is it?

No, Countess.

Television is an
entertainment medium.

Allow me
to demonstrate.

Who do they entertain?

What a delightful sense
of humor you have, Countess.

These are atomic,
destructive, defense weapons.

By which we defend
the free world.

As you can see,
at the moment

they're pointing
towards the East.

However, since we must
always be prepared.

Allies can change,
you know.

At the touch
of a button..

Now they can defend us
from the West.

They kill people, do they?

Countess, each one of those
will kill more people

than all the bombs
dropped in the last war.

Of course, our intellectuals
are exaggerating their effects.

We estimate that at least 25%
of the population will survive.

I mean, personally,
I have all the bombs.

I think we should go on
using high explosives

as God intended us to.

Excuse me.

- Duty Officer.
- Sir.

Which button,
returns the missiles

to their original position?
The red or the black?

The black one.
The red one fires them.

Oh! Yes, yes.
Thank you.

There.

Thank you.

Most reassuring.

My pleasure, Countess.

I shall have
the oil contract

sent to your home
by a special courier.

Well, I really think
you've been so kind

that I must insist on
returning your hospitality.

And since you take
such care in these matters

I really feel that you
should see the oil field

yourself before signing.

Shall we say
tomorrow, at 11?

Eleven in the evening,
that is.

As you wish.

It is not enough that

they have deprived us
of our own right to protest.

That they have banned our
newspapers and forced us to

accept their own lies.

Now they are about to attack
the very ground we live on

in the name of progress.

Their progress, of course.

They intend to destroy
everything in their powers

without thought for
anybody or anything.

In short, they're still
the enemy of the people.

Paris. Our Paris is threatened
of extinction by an oil cartel.

There is oil beneath Paris,
Comrades, and they want it.

And we know why they want it.

Because they cannot make
war against us without it.

Tell her to stop.

In order to
satisfy their greed

they'll level every house.

They'll level every school..

I'm sorry, you'll have to leave.

The Commissar doesn't want to
hear anymore of your speech.

I'm sorry. Please.

Excuse me.

Comrades, you know
and I know.

There is no greater betrayal

of the Marxist-Leninists
philosophy

than Revisionism
and Deviationism.

Our lead Comrade Secretary..

...and I know she will be
our late Comrade Secretary

when you've heard the crime

against the working class
spelled out.

Is a despicable example of this
failure to adjust to reality.

Of this residual, resurgent,
paranoid Stalinism

which time and time again
threatens our party.

Comrades.

Our socialist motherland,
the USSR

is in the forefront of
developing the natural resources

of the Earth for
the betterment of all mankind.

And I can therefore
reveal to you

that the USSR is taking
a major role

with those progressive
scientists

who seek oil beneath
the streets of Paris.

We must reject the narrow
sectarian parochialism.

Our late Comrade Secretary
has impoison his voice too.

Our slogans are

"Clear the slums.

"Destroy the dead
monuments of the past.

"Level the citadels
of superstition

"and reaction education.

Dig for oil."

Oil, for the bright

inevitable lamp

of world socialism.

Okay, you've come to the lord
in a state of sin.

No!

Okay, you have talked
your way out of sin.

No!

Can you think
a way out of sin?

No!

Can you buy
your way out of sin?

No!

Then-then, will you cleanse
yourselves of sin?

Yes!

Will you reject the devil?

Yes!

Will you reject Satan?

Yes!

Will you reject Satan?
Reject Satan, I say.

Yes!

Reject Satan
and his Handmaidens.

Yes!

Reject hell fire
and perdition.

Yes! Yes! Yes!

Then...then commit
yourselves here and now.

Yes! Yes!

Here and now.

Yes! Yes!

Now!

Yes!

Now.

Then...then come
to me, I say.

Come to me in the name
of the Lord!

My dear, Countess.

I do hope you had
a good seat.

Perfect.

Yes, yes.

I-I was in a perfect position
to see everything.

Good.

Countess,
I've been thinking..

You didn't come here
by chance tonight.

I didn't.
No, that's right.

I-I didn't.

The Lord
invited you.

He still works
in mysterious ways.

But he is
never wrong.

Should neither of us
ever forget that.

He sent you here
for one good reason.

To protect you.

Oh, you know that,
don't you?

What am I being
protected from?

You heard me
out there tonight.

Callin' in
all those sinners.

I can't reach
'em all.

I mean, with
seven shows a..

Even with seven
meetings a week.

I can only
scratch a surface

because that city out there
is just flustering with sin.

I've always been
some what confused

as to the exact
definition of sin.

Sin is disobedience
to God.

And we are all sinners
to the extent that we are

conceived and born
in sin.

That's God's
punishment to man

for defying him in
the garden of Eden.

He had to send down his
only son to redeem us from it.

Yes.

Forgive me, it all seems
such a long time ago.

So impersonal in a way.

So...vindictive somehow.

You don't think God
might be a woman, do you?

Certainly not.

No, ma'am. I can assure you,
God is not a woman.

He created man
in his own image.

And he forbade Adam
and Eve to eat that apple.

He knew Satan would
tempt them to disobey.

But he was testing man to see
if man would serve him or Satan.

He wasn't sure.

Well, of course, he was sure.
God can't be surprised.

Oh, how dull for him.

He knew Adam and Eve
would eat of the apple.

But if he knew,
why did he bother?

That seems
rather frivolous.

I mean, wouldn't you agree.

It's such an awful lot of
trouble to go to

just because of
personal fight with Satan.

Actually, if he
hadn't let them

eat the apple
in the first place

he needn't have
sent his son.

Well, ma'am, the fact is,
he did send his son.

So now there's no longer any
excuse for the obstinate sinner.

The pie at the salvation
is open to every Christian.

- Oh, it's limited, is it?
- I beg your pardon?

Limited, to Christians.

Well, in a sense, yes.

Wh-wha-what sort
of sense is that?

It's very good sense,
Countess.

I mean...there is
only one true religion.

Well...who decided that?

Did God take care
of that too? I mean..

I'm not, what you call,
a much traveled woman

but I seem to recall

in some of the better quality
pictorial magazines

that in several of the more
out-of-the-way places

God hasn't made
that quite clear.

But point is...
we are still tryin' to

push God's message across.

Yes. Seems odd
he didn't do it himself.

I mean, he arranged
all the nasty bits so well.

Shall we say,
tomorrow night at 11.

Yes.

And remember, it's just
between you and me.

And God, of course, if you
think he'd feel left out.

Madam, you have brought me

the most beautiful
bottle of oil

I've ever smelt in my life.
I'd love to taste it.

Yes...very interesting.

Well, come on, Dickey.

Oh, do come along.

Oh, stop barking.

Oh, there you are already.

I take it, the objects
of this portentous invitation

was that we are about
to be shown the longest boa

and the handsomest
man in Paris.

It's not a question of my boa
nor of poor Alfonse.

It's a question of
the future of the human race.

Oh, you think
it has a future?

Don't make silly jokes.
We haven't a moment to waste.

Where's Josephine?

She isn't with us.
And please, don't shout.

It isn't Wednesday,
you know.

I know it isn't Wednesday.

Perhaps that's why
Josephine isn't here.

If you're
so confused.

Sit down,
Gabrielle.

And don't help yourself
to the sugar.

Oh! Wha-what
is it, Dickey?

Oh! Dickey!
Dickey!

Oh-ho, she wants to sit
on aunt Aurelia's lap.

Yes. Yes.
Alright then, darling.

Jump up then.
Yeah. Don't fidget.

Constance, I love you dearly as
you know and I love Dickey too.

Of course, you do.

He is a sacred memory

and I wouldn't hurt
his feelings for the world.

But please don't
plump him in my laps

when I'm settling the future
of mankind and pouring tea.

His basket is in the corner.

He knows where it is.

And he could just go
and sit in it.

You have your...Alphonse.

Gabrielle has her canaries.

I only have Dickey.

Do you think I'd be
so silly about him

if it weren't by pretending
that he's here all the time?

I get him to come sometimes.

Next time I won't bring him.

Now. Now.

Let's not get excited
over nothing at all.

Come here, Dickey.
Come here.

Come here, boy.

Where is he?

A-ah...there you are.

Now...Irma is going to
take you for a nice walk.

He doesn't want to go.

Besides, I didn't bring
him today, so there.

Then that is settled.

Now..

...I shall have to proceed
without Josephine

if she insists upon being
so tiresomely late, always.

Yesterday morning

thanks to a young man

who tried to drown himself
in the Seine.

I discovered
a terrible plot..

Are you listening,
Gabrielle?

Of course.

Then don't make
so much noise with your spoon.

I discovered that
there is a group of men

who want to destroy
our entire city.

- Is that all?
- But I don't understand.

Why on Earth should men
want to destroy Paris?

Gabrielle, where men
are concerned

you have no points
of reference.

It's true.
I prefer not to marry.

But I hardly think
that has any bearing

on our present
discussion.

We are living, Gabrielle,
in the age of the Golden Calf.

Do you realize that?

Men...now publicly worship
the Golden Calf.

That's terrible.

Have the authorities
been notified?

Has anyone talked
to the bishop?

Nowadays only money
talks to the bishop.

Gabrielle, I wish you
to grasp the basic facts.

The world has gone
out of it's mind

while you have been sitting
in the park, by the peace walk.

Unless we do something
about it, we are all doomed.

Have you any suggestions,
Constance?

Well, in cases like this,
I always write to the President.

Does he ever answer
your letters?

He knows that
I prefer him not to.

Well, it might
excite gossip.

Aurelia, since you are
asking our advice

doubtless, you have already
made up your mind.

I'll tell you
what I've decided.

I intend to exterminate
these men.

Kill them, you mean?

Dispose off them,
Constance.

But if they're killed,
they are bound to be missed.

And we shall be fined.

They fine you for every
little thing these days.

Do you miss a cold
when its gone?

They'll never be missed.

I wish if
Josephine were here.

Just one moment,
Gabrielle.

Are your friends
here now?

Answer, yes or no.

I'm not allowed to say.

May I ask what difference
it makes to you

if our friends
are in the room?

Just this.

I'm certainly not
going to commit myself

in anything involving
the death sentence.

In the presence
of third parties.

Whether they
exist or not.

That's not being very nice,
to my guests called down.

I quite agree
with Gabrielle.

Are you so stupid,
Constance

as to think that just
because we are alone here

there is nobody else
in the room?

I'm shy.

I feel funny giving an opinion
in front of such a crowd.

- Madam Josephine, Countess.
- Ah.

Josephine, I have
an ego problem for you.

- Yes.
- Josephine.

Suppose you could get all the
world's criminals into one room.

Yes.

And suppose you had a way
of getting rid of them.

Yes.

Would you have
the right to do it?

Well, why not?

Is that...is there
any tea left?

But Josephine,
so many people..

The more there are,
the more legal it is.

Is-is this Earl Grey?

- It used to be.
- I knew him well, you know.

I think your idea is
very practical, Aurelia.

I can't imagine why you
never thought of it before.

Well, if you think
it's right..

Yes, by all means.

The criminals have had
a fair trial, I take it.

- Trial?
- Why, certainly.

You can't possibly kill anybody
without giving them a trial.

That's elementary.

Now, before the deluge,
you will recall

the Lord permitted Noah

to speak in defense
of his fellow mortals.

They evidently had a stutter
and you know the result.

Now, on the other hand,
Captain Drafus

was not only innocent,
he was defended

by a marvelous advocate

and the result was
precisely the same.

So, you see, having a trial,
you run no risk what so ever.

That's all very well,
but I can't have a trial

without arousing
their suspicion.

Oh, there's a way around that.
You can summon the defendants

by calling them three times.
Mentally, if you wish.

If they don't appear,
the court can designate

an attorney to
represent them.

This attorney can then argue
their case in absentia.

And the judgment can be
rendered in contumacious.

But I don't know
any lawyers.

And I've asked them
to be here at 11.

Quite simple.

In case of emergency,
it's permissible for the Court

to order the first passer-by

to act for the defense.

See, defense is like baptism.

Absolute indispensable.

But you don't have to know
anything to do it.

You could just get anyone.

- Irma.
- Coming, Countess.

We couldn't have it
here, could we?

Well, we could. It might
get a little chilly.

- Yes, Countess.
- Ah! There you are, child.

Have any of
my friends arrived?

Oh yes, Countess. There's
quite a collection outside.

Ask them all in,
have them shown downstairs.

I shall receive
them there.

We should have quite
a few to choose from.

Come with me.
Come this way.

This way.

Do you.. Do you think
perhaps-perhaps the Deaf Mute

might fit the bill?

Listen, I can't get up
and file.

It might be pushed
to the wrong appeal.

But what about
the Ragpicker then?

Is it right that
so many millionaires

should be represented
by a Ragpicker?

It's very suitable.

All criminals are represented
by their opposites.

A murderer by somebody who
obviously wouldn't harm a fly.

A rapist by the member of the
Lord's observant society.

Experience shows that it's the
only way to get an acquittal.

But we mustn't have
an acquittal.

That would mean
the end of the world.

- Justice is justice, my dear.
- Oh, dear.

Come in, come in.

We're rather pressed for time.

Just make-make yourselves
comfortable where you can.

Ragpicker, dear.

Greetings, ladies.
Countess.

We are about to summon
before the Bar of Justice

all the wicked people
of the world.

And-and you have been appointed
attorney for the defense.

Oh, I'm very flattered
I'm sure.

Do I know
the defendants?

Those terrible men
at the cafe.

Yes. What do we do now?

Are you sure you know
the defendants well enough

to undertake
the case?

Oh, absolutely. I know them
to the bottom of their souls.

I go through
their garbage every day.

Oh-oh, what do
you find there?

- Mostly flowers.
- Oh.

Is he trying
to prejudice the case?

Oh, no. No, Countess,
not at all.

I-I wonder, could I
make a suggestion?

Instead of speaking
as attorney

why don't I speak
directly as defendant?

That way, I'll get
more into it.

Excellent idea.

If-if one is guilty,
so are the others.

It's the principle
of guilt by association.

Yes.

Yes, very well. We'll grant
you that motion.

'You shall have
a fair hearing

which is more than they gave
to dear President Wilson.

What's he got
to do with it?

Well, if you don't know, I'm not
prepared to enlighten you.

Madam.

Oh. Merci.

Is...everybody ready?

Gabrielle, can't you
remember where you are

and conduct yourself
accordingly?

Just a minute.
How rich am I?

- Millions.
- Billions.

But whatever the amount,
it's far too much.

And how did I get them?

By murder, theft,
embezzlement, what?

Everything.

Why bother to answer
such stupid questions?

- Most likely.
- Most likely.

Do I have a wife
or a mistress, perhaps.

Everything.

It's rather excessive
to have both.

Right. Right.

I'm ready.

The court
is now in session.

Shouldn't he
take the oath?

Aurelia, if you
interrupt me once more

you're going to find
yourself without a judge.

Take the oath.

I swear to tell the truth,
the whole truth

and nothing but the truth.

But he is not a witness.
He is a lawyer.

She is right,
you know.

Alright, alright.

I swear to lie, conceal,
distort everything

and slander everybody.
So, help me, God.

I shall have the court cleared,
if I don't have silence.

It's my court and you can't
clear it without my permission.

Aurelia, if one knows

from which side
one's bread is buttered

one does not argue
with the judge.

- Well, it's my house, then.
- Well, continue.

Well, get on with it.

May it please this honorable
august and elegant court.

Well, we don't want
any of that.

I'm too old to be
flattered from the dock.

It sets my teeth
on edge.

In fact,
I shall rule

that your defense
is not worth hearing.

Aurelia, proceed with
the cross examination.

- Is that right?
- Who cares whether it's right?

It's what I've ruled.

Sir, do you know
with what you are charged?

I can't, for the life
of me, imagine.

My ways are known to all.
My life is an open book.

I am a pillar
of the church

and support all
organized charities

that are tax deductible.

I give to all the newest
and most fashionable diseases.

I have seldom listened to almost
sickening display of hypocrisy.

One should never
carry sincerity

beyond the bounds
of possibility.

And don't ask him,
tell him.

Sir, you are charged

with a total lack of
feeling for others

disgusting grossness

the abuse of power
and the worship of money.

Worshipping money? Me?

That's what she said.

Do you feel guilty
or not guilty, young man?

- But Your Honor...
- Yes or no?

- Get it out of him.
- Yes or no?

No. No, of course, no.

I don't worship money.

It's the other way around.
Money worships me.

It simply adores me,
it won't let me alone.

Then, tell the court
how you came by your money?

Certainly.
I'll be delighted.

At the first time
money came to me

I was a mere boy.

A little golden haired child,
untouched, untainted

with that, peculiar innocence
of the very young.

It came to me
quite suddenly

in the guise of
a bar of gold bullion

which in my innocence

I picked out of the garbage can
one day while playing.

Well, I was horrified
as you can imagine.

I immediately tried
swapping it for a little

rundown
one-track railroad

which to my
childish amazement

immediately sold itself
for a 100 times its value.

Well, I made desperate
efforts after that

wanting to get rid of
this unasked-for wealth.

I began to buy
other things.

I bought
10 refineries

half-a-dozen
department stores.

Every munition's factory
that I could lay my hands on.

And the rest
is history.

They stuck to me

they multiplied,
they engulfed me

with the mud
of their profit.

And now,
I'm powerless.

Everyone knows that the poor
have no one but themselves

to blame for their poverty.

It's only just, that they
suffer the consequences.

But how is it
the fault of the rich

if they're rich?

It's a horrible fate.

But I am
resigned to it.

I don't ask
for your sympathy.

I don't ask
for your pity.

All I ask is for a little
human understanding.

Oh, come on, now.
We don't want any of that.

Tears won't wash here.

If you're so ashamed
of your money

why do you hold on to it
with such a death grip?

- Me?
- Yes, you.

You think you should
have it for nothing.

You treat us
like dirt.

You never give
without taking first?

You never part
with a franc.

That I should have to
endure such slander.

- Such injustice.
- No, liar.

No, injustice.
I repeat. Injustice.

It is a matter of fact
faithfully reported

in all the newspapers I own

that I spend
all my waking hours

trying to rid myself
of my money.

I spend in order
that you may live.

Stop!

I demand
to be heard.

If I have tanned shoes,
I buy black ones.

Now, who benefits?

If I have a Fiat,
I buy a Mercedes.

Who benefits?

- Order and silence.
- No, hear me out.

If I have a wife,
I pay alimony.

I send a private plane
to Java to collect flowers

for my mother's funeral.

I built hospitals
for the children

who eat the food
my farms grow.

I endow whole
universities

to experiment on animals
in order that

the old
shall grow young.

Now, who can deny
these things?

Not you, nor you,
nor you.

But no matter what I do,
I cannot rid myself of my money.

If I play a 100-to-1 shot

the horse comes in
by 20 lengths.

If I throw a diamond
into the sand

it comes back in the trout
they serve me for lunch.

10 trout, 10 diamonds.

Now...do you suppose

I can get rid of
40 million francs

by giving shoes
to deaf mutes?

Of course not.
I entirely agree.

- Thank you, madam.
- Mademoiselle.

Mademoiselle,
forgive me.

At last, at last there is
somebody who understands me.

Somebody who is
not only beautiful

but extraordinarily sensitive
and intelligent.

- I object.
- Overruled.

I shall be delighted
to send you flowers.

Directly I'm acquitted.
What sort do you prefer?

Pe-petunias.

You shall have
a baleful every morning

for the next five years.

This...enchanting

perceptive woman understands,
ladies and gentlemen.

She knows that
I cannot help myself.

That money sticks
to me like glue.

Am I not right,
fairest lady?

Right.

I thank you.

And again,
I thank you.

Now...if one of you
buys a stock

it sinks like a stone.

But if I buy,
it soars like an eagle.

Not 10 points at a time,
but 1000.

and it goes to
20,000 overnight.

That's how I bought
my 12 chateaus

my 20 villas

my 234 farms.

That's how
I endow the opera

and keep my
14 ballerinas.

I hope they deceive you
every hour of the day.

How can they deceive me?

Suppose they try

with a male chorus,
the assistant electrician

the third violinist.
What does it matter?

I own them all.

I have all women

or can have them which
comes to the same thing.

Don't listen to
this bit, Gabrielle.

So...you think there are
no women with morals.

Only the rich
can afford morals.

For me, I mix
morals with sable.

A delicious
combination.

I drip pearls into protest.
I adorn resistance with rubies.

My touch
is Gee-Von-Shee

my smile,
a Ferrari.

Now what women..

What women can deny me?

- You see where money leads.
- Of course.

Without money,
nobody likes you

nobody trusts you,
nobody believes you.

Because to have money
is to be

virtuous, honest,
beautiful and witty.

And to be without it
is to be ugly, and boring

and stupid and useless.

One last question.

Suppose you find this oil
you're looking for..

...what will you do with it?

I'll makewar!

I'lldestroywhat remains
of the world!

You've heard the defense,
such as it is.

I demand
a verdict of guilty.

What do you mean, "guilty?"
I am never guilty.

I order you
to be quiet.

I'm never quiet.

- Quiet, in the name of the law.
- I am the law.

My money elects the men
who make the law.

When they speak,
I speak.

And when I present
my backside

it is etiquette to smile and
apply the lips respectfully.

Now, it is more than etiquette.

It is a cherish
national privilege

guaranteed by
the constitution.

And anyone who thinks
otherwise is a communist.

That is contempt of court.
The trial is over.

And the verdict?

Guilty!

- Guilty.
- Guilty.

Guilty.

Guilty as charged.

And I have full authority
to carry out the sentence?

Yes, Countess.

I can do what
I like with him?

Yes! Yes!

- With all of them?
- All of them.

- I can exterminate them?
- Yes.

- Absolutely.
- Court adjourned.

Congratulations, Ragpicker.
A marvelous defense.

Absolutely impartial.

Thank you.
Thank you.

You did very well,
Ragpicker. Extemporary.

Your style is reminiscent
of Pre Monsieur.

You have a great future.
Goodbye, Aurelia.

Justice may be justice,
but it's also exhausting.

Dickey.

Oh, how on earth did you
find your way here alone?

And without the caller too.
No, no. Mind, darling, mind.

Mind. There. Oh, you
gettin' trampled on.

That's better.

Come along, Gabrielle.

I'll walk you home
along the river.

Yes, I feel
quite disturbed.

Goodbye, Aurelia.

She isn't listening.
Never mind.

- May I be permitted..
- Of course, yes.

Be careful. All the talk
of ballerinas..

I shall be quite safe.
I have Dickey, don't forget.

He-he doesn't bite,
I hope.

He doesn't know
how they bite.

Oh, thank you.

Thank you.
Thank you all.

Irma.

I think I'll take a little nap
in the fresh air.

Oh, I should, Countess.
I can look out for them.

It was a nice trial,
wasn't it?

Oh, it was beautiful,
Countess.

You see, Irma, I didn't
have to be merciful.

But after all,
I did want to be just.

Oh, you were, Countess.
Yes, you were.

Now, I'll just lie down
and close my eyes for a moment.

Yes.

But don't you worry,
Countess.

I'll call you
when they arrive.

Thank you.

Is it you,
Alphonse Berto?

- No, it's I, Roderick.
- No, no.

Do not lie to me,
Alphonse.

Say that it's you.
Say it.

Yes. It is I.

You've come to continue
the feast of love.

Why so long,
Alphonse?

Why did you
leave it so long?

It was only
for a little while.

- Was she so very lovely?
- Who?

She, who took you
from me.

No.

She-she was no
lovelier than you.

Then why
Alphonse Berto, why?

Was she young?

We were...all young.

Women love but once,
Alphonse Berto.

But once is
not enough for men.

Perhaps we only think
it's not enough.

You took my happiness
to make you happier.

Was she poor?

You pitied her,
was that it?

Yes, she was poor,
but I didn't pity her.

Did you give her
the same flowers?

Buy her
the same chocolates?

Send her
the same valentine's?

She-she asked
nothing of me.

Nothing except me.

No, not even that.

Then why,
Alphonse Berto, why?

Did you grow old
with her?

Yes.

I grew old...suddenly.

So, that is why
you only come now

when my eyes
are closed?

Well, you're quite safe.

My memories of you are
as firm as your hand in mine.

Holding it like this

we're once again...
stepping out lightly.

That night, they sang
Denise at the opera.

It was late,
remember?

Yes.

I have never set foot
in that street again.

I go the other way around.

It's not easy in the winter
when there is ice.

One is quite apt to slip.

- Forgive me.
- No.

No, don't ask me that.

For to forgive you
is to forget you.

- Then, what can I do? Tell me.
- Nothing.

Only let me
hear sometimes

far away the distant echo
of your love.

I promise you.

And now...farewell,
Alphonse Berto, farewell.

Let go my hand
and give it to Roderick.

Roderick...it's you.

- Has he gone?
- Um...yes, Countess.

He always did make
a quick exit, that one.

Good heavens.

Oh, where did you find it?

In the wardrobe when
I took off the mirror.

Oh, excuse me,
Countess.

They've arrived.

Good. Good.

You stay here,
both of you.

I'll...call you
when I need you.

How kind of you all
to arrive so promptly.

Charmed.

Well, we wanted to
congratulate you, Countess

offering us all
our exclusive contracts

in order to get us
to compete.

That sure is considerable
business plan.

Yes. Well, I'm glad
that you're not angry.

Please. Come this way.

I was hesitant to reveal
that you were all prepared

to double-cross
each other.

Oh, not at all.

Such a demonstration
of initiative and enterprising

in front of my colleagues

only confirms my good judgment
in choosing them.

Yes, Countess.

If we're this devious separately

think how overwhelming
we should be collectively.

This way, gentlemen.

Be careful
of the steps.

Straight down.

Steady. Steady.
Don't pull.

There'll be plenty
for everybody.

There are no turns.

Ah...Roderick.

Could you do me
a small favor?

I wonder if you'd be so kind
as to close and lock that door.

Yes, of course.

I'll keep the key.

Say it.

Say that you love him
before it's too late.

Let another moment wedge
between you two

and it will become a month,
a year, a decade.

Your hair
will be white.

His cuffs
will be frayed.

And there will be another man,
woman and child.

Say it before
the music stops.

Thank you.

I think that I shall
take a little walk.

We'll walk with you.

No. Don't you bother.
You stay and enjoy the music.

It's an old song..

...that you might
remember one day.

Stay and fall in love.

But Countess.
It's your paper.

Yes, Ragpicker.

I think it's time
I moved on to another year.