All language subtitles for THE COSTADELLO SSE

Sync and corrections by btsix
www.addic7ed.com

- Homer.
- Hey.

- Homer.
- Huh? What?

- I'll be right home.
- You are home.

Homer.

Homer, wake up, please. I can't sleep.

I'm having friends over tomorrow.

- Luann Van Houten.
- Back-stabber.

- Bernice Hibbert.
- Snob.

And Helen Lovejoy.

Okay, she's pretty hot.

I mean, hot for a reverend's wife,

but so judgmental.

I was going to ask you if
you could watch Maggie.

Oh, yeah, of course.

What do you suspect?

Isn't this great?

Daddy-baby alone time.

Where's Daddy? Peek-a-boo.

Where's Daddy? Peek-a-boo.

- Where's Daddy? Peek-a-boo.
- Meh.

Where's Daddy? Peek-a-boo.

Where's Daddy? Peek-a-boo.

Oh, you're sick of it already?

I was gonna do different people.

Peek-a-boo-ooh!

I'm afraid, Master Wayne,

it's time for peek-a-boo.

Ah, come on. Nothing?

Babies love Michael Caine.

What to do? What to do?

What to... do.

What... to... do.

Mags, I'll level with you.

I love you, kiddo,

but we are in two completely
different worlds.

- More lemonade, ladies?
- No, thank you.

I've had better lemonade
at Ralph Wiggum's stand.

And he stirs it with his finger.

So we've been asked to
redecorate the school room

where the kids wait when
their ride is late.

I have some ideas.

Marge, you have many wonderful talents,

but your sense of style is, uh...

- One of them?
- I'm afraid not.

Purple and orange cupboards,

oh, corncob curtains,

rabbit ears on the TV.

It's like we're visiting
the Flintstones.

Well, since you don't like my style,

maybe I should show you the door.

You mean the brown door
next to the hot pink walls.

Just like at the circus.

Well, an elephant does live here.

An elephant?

You're calling my husband an elephant?

Marge, we got any more peanuts?

Oh, Homer.

Hmm.

No.

What the...?

Is it that bird?

- Marge! Are you making tea?
- Yes.

- Whew.
- Iced tea.

What the hell?

This is WHIS.

Whistling at you all day and night.

WHIS, The Whistle.

Ah. Whistling format radio.

Huh?

Where is that whistling coming from?

Maggie?

It is you!

It's so odd... I'm a terrible whistler.

Always have been.

There must be a reason you
were given this gift.

It's to make people
think I can whistle.

Homer! Homer! Homer!

And now I will perform

"Flight of the Bumblebee."

Who was that president?

He looked pretty generic.

I do too have taste.

I'm afraid not.

Corncob curtains.

Mom, what's wrong?

Why aren't you answering me?

I'm right here.

Honey, I'm just feeling
sorry for myself,

but I'll show them.

I'll make a late pickup room
like that school has never seen.

That'll be easy, there's never been one.

Well, what do you think
of my late pickup room?

It's wonderful. Hard to believe

it's the same room they found
all those dead rats in.

Well, maybe you can fool the Hibberts,

but to me, this is the work of a...

Genius.

Salud.

Well, gee.

Guess who got a job today.

- You?
- Nope.

The guy who went in after me.

I-I totally set him up.

Listen, I recently purchased the
old post office to renovate.

Would you like to be
my interior decorator?

Well, ladies.

Looks like someone appreciates me...

The one man in town who trims his nails.

Is one of them giving you trouble?

There's no room in the trunk, boss.

- Bodies?
- No.

Bottled water and
toilet paper, remember?

We made that Costco run.

Now do it backwards.

Now sideways.

Hey, come on. She's just a baby.

Who is?

Uh, my talent.

Makes sense.

Well, well, well.

Seems like my no-talent
son can suddenly whistle.

Tell me, Homer, how'd
you trill that high "C"

with your lips in second position?

Oh, it's amazing.

She's got my whistling gene, all right.

Which, unfortunately,
skips a generation.

I hope it works out better
for you than it did for me.

I was booked on the top
whistling show on radio,

Your Blow of Blows, with Sid Wheezer.

Good evening, folks. Sid Wheezer here,

sipping a delicious Buzz Cola.

Ah, refreshing.

Keep polio at bay, the Buzz Cola way.

Oh, thanks a lot.

Our next act is a swell kid

from right here in Springfield.

His hobby is straightening
elbow macaroni.

Let's here it for
Little Abraham Simpson.

Then I got cocky.

Tried a little stunt
called the Triple Windy.

Blew out the ligaments in my lips.

Had to hire guys to kiss my girlfriend.

It was a good deal.

I'd pay for five minutes,

but it would go on for hours.

When the time was right,

I'd make my move.

But this little magpie,
she's got my gift.

And now she's going into showbiz.

Couldn't showbiz screw her up?

You know, like it did Ron Howard?

He hasn't won an Oscar since 2002.

Oh, please, son, do this for me.

Dad, you should not live your
life through your granddaughter.

You poor guy. She'll do it.

Okay, Maggie. Time to learn a happy tune

from these imprisoned birds.

Man, Maggie's talented, Lisa's talented.

- What am I good at?
- The birds love ya.

Well, yeah, but they also love Grampa.

Go ahead, but my blood's turned to bile

from watching Fox News.

This is my new property,

the original Springfield Post Office,

jewel of the implosion district.

You'll get used to that.

We'll definitely want to try
to keep the original facade.

Yes, indeed.

I'm all about keeping up facades.

Is it okay if I take some
foundation measurements?

Of course.

In case she sees
something she shouldn't,

have a hood ready.

Idiota! You whack who you shouldn't,

and you don't whack who you should.

Is this about your brother again?

You're gonna love this baby!

- She whistles!
- This I gotta hear...

Not because I am looking forward to it,

but because it is my job.

Fantastic talent!

Now, move along... I have
a heart attack at 4:00.

And... here it comes.

Ooh! Oy vey!

You sit on it, you bought it.

Due!

Can you picture this water feature

at the back wall of the foyer?

My sainted mother shared your gift.

Where others saw only an
empty Chianti bottle,

she saw a candle holder.

We would have to rip out some walls.

Done.

You won't be seeing
those walls no more.

Why do these guys come
with us for everything?

Have you noticed how we are not dead?

That is mostly due to them.

Give the wall job to
the Palermo brothers.

Tell them to make it
look like an accident.

We'll make that wall dig its own grave.

What's that whistling?

You know what they say... in a marriage,

don't ask a question you
don't know the answer to.

That's what they say
to defense attorneys.

Marge, how would you feel if I
kept a big secret from you?

How would you feel if I
kept a big secret from you?

- Good night.
- Good night.

Maggie, you can whistle?

You're gifted, too!

Maybe more gifted!

No, no, I will not get
caught in that trap

that only one of us is good.

We could both be good,
like the South Park guys.

Except Trey does everything.

Trey does everything!

Diva.

This little piggy went to Broadway.

This little piggy worked with Stallone.

This little piggy got
a Showtime special!

I'm a great father.

Tonight on Hollywood Nightmares,

- What?!
- Child stars, prison bars.

Ooh!

At three months old, Skyler
Green could already patty-cake.

By age one, she was the opening act

for Frank Sinatra Jr. Jr. III.

But after a disastrous
Super Bowl halftime show

that left Jacksonville's
EverBank Field in ruins,

Skyler's life would spin out of control.

She began a downward spiral,

woke up too many mornings
with stuffed animals

whose names she didn't know,

and she was arrested twice
for former cuteness,

under the Scott Baio Law.

Patty-cake, patty-cake, baker's man,

bake me a train wreck
just as fast as you can.

Oh, my God. Am I doing this for you,

or because it makes me feel good?

A showbiz kiss!

There's nothing more sincere
than that. We'll do it!

Marge, I love what you've done here.

It's as much "Mwah!"

as it is "Ey! Whoa!"

It certainly was a
challenge... so many bedrooms.

You must be expecting a
lot of sleepover guests.

Is she, er, uh, one of the, uh...?

No, no. She's the decorator.

But I can get one like her.

Add it to my customer profile.

Er, uh, yes.

Dim lighting,

honky-tonk piano...

Anthony D'Amico,

what is the repute of this house?

Ill.

Our top story... you didn't see me.

This is...

John Doe saying "Good night."

Why is everyone being so
weird? Did the principal call?

'Cause he's got nothing to call about.

I can't keep this mountain lion
in my bedroom forever, Bart.

Just four more days.

So listen, uh, I'm gonna
take Maggie out for a walk.

These spray-on boas are
such a time-saver.

Oh, God, that's good.

Seems like everybody's got a
secret but us, huh, guys?

Tonight, see Maggie Simpson,

the Unborn Comic,

The Umbilical Chords

and the Pixie Chicks.

And now your host,

Sedgwick the Personality!

Welcome to whatever this is.

Now, let's meet our judges.

NBA star and host of Flip That Igloo,

Muk Mu!

Peace.

Former Hot Tots champion,

Baby Dimples Riskind!

And robotic-themed DJ Der Zip-Zorp!

You had lunch, didn't you?

I gave you a 2:00 a.m.
curfew for a reason!

Shut up!

Where's denial when you need it?

Maggie, this is no place for you.

I'm taking you where you can
be a kid again... Moe's.

Oh, I've created a monster!

I've placated a monster!

Oh...

Marge Simpson, are the rumors true?

Did you corncob a cathouse?

It's not that.

I sure love that new whorehouse smell.

Marge, I never thought someone
could sink this town lower,

but you have.

You lied to me!

You may scare these guys,

but to me, you're just a big fat liar!

Whoa. Nobody calls Fat Tony fat!

Nobody!

In the old country,

only two were allowed to
speak truth to the Don...

His capo and his interior decorator.

You are lucky.

Now, please leave.

The launch party is tonight.

The Grey Goose people are
bringing a big ice thing.

Well, Anthony, not knowing
what I was designing for,

there's something I didn't tell you.

Your mother had a post office box

at this office.

I don't know whether to believe you.

Oh, looks like a letter from the pope.

You have surrounded a blessed
letter to your mother

with a bordello!

That's it! Shut it down!

Apologize to our dear
friends at Grey Goose.

So, what are you going
to do with my work?

A little "Italian lightning"
for insurance purposes.

And that is the last question
of yours we will ever answer.

Good-bye, Mrs. Simpson.

Can't you at least wait until
I'm out of the building?

I'm sorry, I get nervous,
I do dumb things.

Maybe it's because I'm wearing a wire.

Uh-oh.

Now, put your hands together for
the one who's going to win.

Whoops. That's supposed to be a secret.

Nothing I can do... in one moment,

Maggie will stop being my little
baby and belong to the world.

I remember her when she was
just a bit of bad news.

Time for the greatest glory
there is... reflected.

Aw...

Oh, come on, I'm cheating
on my wife to see this?

Look! She's got a tooth coming in!

That's the kiss of death for a whistler.

Give me a string and a doorknob!

That baby is naught but
an overly dramatic,

boring windbag!

A windbag that yields no succor!

In sum, a nothing!

What? They're booing my Maggie?

This is the sweetest
little girl in the world.

Nice try, but no hook can fit me.

This little angel never makes a fuss.

She always shares her baby food,

and she makes even a despicable
show like this seem sweet!

Hey, pal, this is a
talent show for babies.

We ain't goin' for sweet.

The only thing that's been
worth it about this experience

is that I got to spend time
with this little girl.

And that's the tooth!

Good night, my little star.

And if you have another amazing talent,

for the love of God, don't tell anybody.

Nighty-night.

Okay, so I'll never enter
Maggie into another contest

without telling you, and
you'll never design

another sex palace for the Mob.

Agreed. No more secrets from each other.

No more secrets.

Are you letting out my pants?

I'm afraid so.

I'm not really a size 32?

Sync and corrections by btsix
www.addic7ed.com