All language subtitles for Red.Oaks.S02E05.1080p.WEBRip.X264-DEFLATE_track3_eng

You see Videodrome yet?

It's all this big
trenchant warning about

addiction to television.

Hey, we don't need
a warning, we're here.

Dystopia is here, Ben.

But you should check out
the earlier stuff,

like the body horror
of Shivers,

'cause they're infected
with this parasite

that makes them
hyper-erotic.

But they don't want to
say anything about it

to each other, because
they're too polite.

You know what I mean?

Now that's a movie that
is profoundly Canadian.

What, can I help you?

Uh, I'm looking for
someone named Travis.

You're not serving
a subpoena, are you?

No.

Oh, then you got him.
I'm Travis.

Oh, I'm David Myers.
A guy I know named Barry
said I should look you up.

Barry?

Barry, no.

I don't know
any Barrys, sorry.

He's a photographer.

Mustache.
Drives an El Camino.

You just described
the Boston Strangler.

Oh, okay.

Well, I'm sorry
to bother you.

Wait, wait, wait.
I'm just messing
with you, kid.

Barry told me
you'd be coming by.

- Yeah? Awesome.
- Yeah.

So I understand you'd
like to log some time

on an editing deck.

I can't pay much,
but yeah.

I wouldn't
worry about it.

So here we go.

We make six programs a week.

Local call-in shows,
infomercials,

ads for 1-900 sex lines.

Our viewers are
shut-ins, insomniacs,

stoner kids, people
contemplating suicide.

guys who
are too ashamed to rent porn.

Cool.

So, how do you know
my man Barry?

It's a long story.

Really? Well, Cliff Notes
it for me.

He's marrying
my ex-girlfriend.

- Navajo brothers.
- Huh?

You know, shelter in
the same wigwam.

Never thought of
it that way.

All right, here we go.

Welcome to
the Thunderdome.

What's that smell?

Uh, someone's dreams dying.

Or a decomposing mess.
We're overrun.

Oh.

Anyway, have fun.

If you need me,
I'll be in my office

lamenting my life choices.

Or maybe jerking off,
so knock.

I had such a nice time.

Me, too.

I mean, the Chinese food
was really spicy.

I know.

Should we get, like,
a coffee or something?

Oh, um, thanks.

I have to get up early to
show a house in the morning.

Totally fine.
Maybe next time?

Yeah, that would
be nice.

This is me.

Oh, um, well...

I'm over there.

Well, good night.

Night.

Heh!

Oh my God.

What am I looking at?

It's a bris, you know,
the Jewish ritual.

Oh, yeah. Kinky.

I guess.

Yeah. People have no idea
what kind of freaky shit
goes down in the burbs.

But I know.

I worked at Fotomat.

Well, go on, show me more.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
I like it.

I like how you cut
from the baby

to grandpa crying
like a little bitch.

And then nervous dad
to Xanax'd mom.

Then back to the wide shot,
establish the scene.

Tells a story.

Yeah, that's
pretty good stuff.

Thanks.

Oh, shit,
is that the time?

No, that's a little fast.

I need to go teach
a tennis lesson.

Any chance I can come back?

You know, another
time to finish?

I'll tell you what.

I can give you a few hours
in here whenever you need,

if you'll log these old
tapes for me.

Deal?

- Deal!
- All right.

Mackerel and...

Super supper.

Chicken and liver and kidney?

Looks good.

Liver, egg and bacon?

Whoa!

What kind?

Sorry?

What kind of cat?

You know, whatever
the cat equivalent of
a mutt is.

She's yea big, claws.

Likes milk.

My name's Sam,
by the way.

Agatha.

Agatha, wow.

There's a name you
don't here too often.

I hate it.

No, you shouldn't.

No, it's just, you know...
today, it's...

It's an unusual name.

You come in here a lot.

Yeah, I live across the way
over at Moss Acres.

Me, too. $15.80.

Really?
I'm 1230.

No, 15 dollars and 80 cents.

I'm sorry.

Listen, I'm having a little
4th of July party.

You know, a few friends,

gonna crack open
a few beers.

Eat some of these dips,
maybe light a sparkler or two.

You're more than welcome
to come over, you know,
when you get off work.

You got a job?

Yeah, I work for the IRS.

I used to have
my own accounting firm,

but then H&R Block came in...

Kids?

Yes, one.

He's grown. Ish.

He lives with me
part of the time.

You're divorced?

Almost.

I have plans.

Oh.

Well, maybe some
other time.

Pull it over, over.

Boychik, can I
ask you a question?

Sure.

Are you happy
with your penis?

Excuse me?

You know, its sensitivity.
Relative ease of cleaning.

On a scale of 1 to 10.

Why are you asking?

I'm considering converting
to Judaism.

Things are going that
well with Widow Horowitz?

They are.

I suppose my biggest fear

about entering the covenant
of circumcision

is I simply won't recognize
the little Sultan anymore.

We've been through many
a sordid adventure together.

Yeah, it won't look
that different.

Let me see yours.

- No.
- 10 seconds, that's
all I ask.

Forget it.
No, no, no, no.

David, as your employer,
it is within my rights

to insist you show me
your genitals.

I'm leaving now.

Please, please.

I'm begging you.

You know, most friends
just ask for help moving.

I can do that too if
you need help moving.

Oh, dear Lord.

Your pubes!

They're so thick and lush!

It's like Lincoln's beard.

Magnificent.

Nassar?

Skip.

Just give me
the right answers

to the questions
with the most points.

Come on, man.

Forget about scores
for a minute.

A goal is not
always meant to be reached.

It often serves simply
as something to aim at.

Anyone, anyone know
who said that?

Yes, Tabitha.

Jesus?

Close. Good guess.

It was actually Bruce Lee.

What does that have
to do with the SATs?

Bruce Lee's goal wasn't
punching some dude in the face.

That's just what he was
aiming at so he could get

to something deeper,
the truth.

Yo, fuck the truth, man!

I'm just trying
to get into Rutgers.

Yeah, if I don't raise
my SAT scores,

my dad's gonna go
Bruce Lee on my ass.

Come on, guys, I'm just
trying to leave you with

something to think about
the day after the SATs.

Because tests are just
about right answers.

Life is about asking
the right questions.

Wow.

Agh!

- Out.
- All right. That's enough.

That's game.

How's uh...

How's my baby daughter?

Seen her much lately?

Not as much as I'd like.

She's always working, and when
she isn't, she's painting.

She making good tips?

Yeah, decent.

Decent, what do
you call decent?

I don't think she'd like
me discussing that with you.

Come on.

Throw me a bone here.

Some nights she can make
60 or 70 bucks cash.

Oh...

Do me a favor.

Just get this to her, please?

Give her this.

No, she won't take it.

Don't tell her
it's from me.

Then she'll think it's
from me, which is weird.

Buy her groceries, or something.
I don't know, be creative.

I don't think
it's a good idea.

Can you at least
give her a message?

Yeah, okay.

Could you tell her
we would appreciate
a call once in a while?

We've heard from her maybe
one time in the last two weeks.

Just so her mother
doesn't worry.

All right, and you and I,
we're on for lunch Wednesday.

Yeah, sure.

Not that Indian shit again,
my stomach's still killing me.

You do know what's
going on here, right?

What?

You're being groomed,
like a Westminster Shih Tzu.

Groomed for what?

Son-in-law.

No, I'm not.

Why else do you think
he would take you

on all these lunches
and introduce you
around the office?

Because I'm his only
link to Skye.

How did your generation get
so cynical, I'll never know.

You're wrong.
Fortune has smiled
upon the both of us.

I plan to recommend you
for the job of head pro
when I retire.

But it appears that,
like me,

you, too, are destined
for something greater.

Oh, Misty!

- Right?
- Yeah.

I'm Tabitha.

One of Wheeler's students.

Right, hi.

Can I ask you something?

Yeah, what's up?

I've seen you and Wheeler
hanging out and stuff,

and I was just
wondering, well,

if you're together.

Oh.

Uh...

Not that it's any
of my business.

Um, you know,

uh...

We're just friends.
Yeah.

Cool.

Why?

I was just curious.

Bye.

What? Tell me.

I've got good news, they
came back with a plea deal.

A plea deal?

Fuck that, no.

I'm... I'm not
copping a plea.

Doug, listen to me, you can't
afford this going to trial.

And if you get convicted,

all those guys on
your trading floor
will be out on the street.

Oh, please, spare me
the guilt trip, all right?

There's not one of those
guys that wouldn't

throw me under a bus,
given half a chance.

Well, you realize that
the state's attorney

can freeze your assets?

Can't do that.

Technically he can.

Can he?

Yep, felonies like
securities and mail fraud

can be defined
as racketeering.

Racketeering?

That's usually only
done in cases of

narcotics and
organized crime.

Yeah.

But it's Giuliani, he's got
political ambitions.

He's out collecting scalps.

And he'd like nothing
more than to add yours
to his collection.

What is he offering?

Six months house arrest
with an ankle monitor.

- Okay.
- Two years probation.

And a lifetime ban
on securities trading.

Fuck.

Think it over.

Discuss it with Fay.

- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- And call me.

Nice curving, though.

Oh, I'm so rusty.

Oh, please, it's good when
the ball goes over the fence

every once in a while, it
shows power in your backhand.

You're just being nice.

Well, I am a little biased.

So are you perchance watching
the fireworks with anybody
this evening?

Uh, as a matter
of fact, I'm not.

Hmm.

Uh, shall we say
the fairway at dusk?

I'll bring the bubbly?

That sounds lovely.

All right, who didn't
get ice cream?

Here you go, before it melts.

Make sure your dad
votes for me.

- You got it.
- All right,
step on up, everybody.

It's one me, enjoy.

Counting on your vote.

Lenny, I don't have to
worry about you, right?

I'm on the fence.

Well, we'll talk.

All right, before it melts,
everybody get your ice cream.

Okay.

See you, sweetie.

So?

What'd the lawyer want?

Oh, nothing,
just, you know,

bringing me up to date
on the case.

And, any news?

Not really.

Well, there was, um...

What?

States attorney is
offering a plea deal.

Six months of house arrest
with the ankle thingy,

and after that it'd be
two years of probation.

That's incredible!
My God, that's nothing!

That's a slap on the wrist.

And there's more.

I'd be banned from
trading for life.

Oh.

Oh, Dougy.

Yeah.

Take it.

What do you mean, take it?

What are we supposed
to do for money?

We'll think of
other things to do.

Listen, we got savings,

and the most important thing

is keeping you
out of jail.

And our family
out of the papers.

Yeah?

Yeah.

Call.

I got trips.

- Oh my God.
- Unbelievable.

You're unbelievable.

You fellas must be
gluttons for punishment.

Laugh it up, Ricky.
You know we work for the IRS.

Yeah, we're going to get
8% of that back.

Come on, Gracie,
get out of here.

Get out of here.

Hey, Sam, man, I'm sorry
about my cousin Janice
standing you up.

Oh, no, that's water
under the bridge.

You know, my wife thinks
you dodged a bullet.

Yeah, says she's a gold digger.

She can dig however
much she wants.

Only gold she's going to
find here is in my fillings.

Besides, I want Ricky
here to take me to one
of his singles bars.

I don't think you'd like
the places I hang out, Sam.

Why, too smoky?

It's okay, it's okay,
it's okay.

I don't think I'm much
for the single's scene, anyway.

Fellas, I think that
the love boat has sailed
without me.

Come on, you can't
say that, Sam.

No, it's true.

This morning, I meet
this woman, okay?

When she finds out
that I was divorced,

she looks at me
like I have a goiter.

You ask me,
you're better off.

Don't listen to Ricky.

There's a lid for every pot.

You just got
to keep looking, Sam.

Well, I think I left
my lid in Korea.

How's that, Sam?

During the war,
there's this girl.

Soon Hi.

I say girl, but I mean,
you know,

she's got to be
my age now.

I think she was the only
woman who ever understood me.

We didn't even
speak the same language.

And I would help her with
her English, she would teach
me how to dance.

The two of us really
cut a rug together.

Anyway, who wants
some more beer, huh?

Ricky? Glen?

I'll take one.

And try this bean dip.

Come here, Gracie.

Come on, sweetheart.
It's my ex's recipe.

It's a six layer dip,
but I swear, I could
only remember five of them.

Holy shit!

Dude, what the fuck
are you wearing?

Skye bought it,
it's some designer.

Do you like it?

No, it's hideous, honestly.

Please, you have to
take this off.

I can't be friends with
you with this outfit.

What the hell do
you know about fashion?

Very true.

Skye's throwing a party with
some of her neighbors.

I've got to go
get some ice.

You tell her about all of
these power lunches you've
been having with her pops?

No, she'd freak.
It's weird.

It's like I'm cheating on
my girlfriend with her father.

It's like The Graduate.
Except gay.

Enjoy the fireworks.

I'll take a tequila sunrise.

Yep.

I'm going to try
the Surfer Curl only
make mine a virgin.

- Uh-huh.
- Mine, too.

All right.

- Hey.
- Hey.

Well, are you going
to keep me in suspense?

About what?

Um, how your date
with Margot went.

Um, oh, well, uh,
it was nice.

It was a nice time, yeah.

You know, she's hysterical,
and...

But she's also
easy to talk to

and interesting and,
um, she held my hand
during the movie.

Oh.

So are you going
to see her again?

I think so.

I mean, she asked me
to come to her stand-up
show next week.

So I guess that means
she wants to see me again.

Oh, believe me, she wants
to see you again.

Yeah.

Pardon my tardiness.

Oh!

Not at all, not at all.

There you are,
careful, careful.

The tip is still
quite hot.

Can I interest you in
a little bit of libation

for our nation's independence?

- Mmm.
- Mmm.

Are you chilly?

A little.

Let's take care
of that right now.

Oh, you're so sweet.

What is that?

Oh, what, this? Oh.

I don't understand,
you're not Jewish.

No, but, um, I've spent
much of my career

working amongst
Jewish people,

and to be honest
since I've met you,

I've taken a great
interest in the faith.

Such a fascinating history,
so much suffering,

and yet such a
love for life.

Which, as I understand
it is what "l'chaim"
means in Hebrew.

Oh.

Hey!

What are you doing out
here by yourself?

Just doing some thinking.

Yeah?

Want some company?

Sure, pull up
some rock.

How are those, um,
algebra problems coming?

Good, yeah.

I really think they're
starting to get it.

Well, good.

You're really good at
that, you know?

Like, the whole
teaching thing.

I'm proud of you.

Thanks.

One of your students was
asking about you today.

Oh, God.

I think she's hot for teacher.

Seriously, stop.
That's not funny.

Oh, come on.
It's fine.

She's cute.

Doesn't matter,
she's my student.

I'd never violate the sanctity
of that relationship.

- All right.
- Even next month,
when I'm done

tutoring her,
she'll still be underage.

Nothing can change that.

Except her birthday
at the end of August.

Holy shit, you
like this girl.

I don't know.

Ah, bu, bu, bu, bu, bu.

Gracias.

Think you should maybe
slow down a little, sweetie?

It's a holiday.

I'm celebrating.

You know, I've been giving
this plea deal thing

a lot of thought.

And?

I'm gonna turn it down.

Fuck Giuliani,
fuck his witch hunt.

I'll take my chances
with a jury.

I always knew

you were a stubborn man
when I married you.

I just didn't know
you were stupid.

Shut the fuck up.

Oh, yeah, thanks, thanks.

I'm really happy with how those
portraits turned out, too.

I just feel like the faces
here are so much more inspiring.

And the energy,
in the city?

It's just amazing.

Excuse me.

Hi, you're here.

Hey.

Hi.

Oh, Zan, Zan.

Hi, you remember
my friend David.

Cool shirt.

Thanks.

Zan just heard that
one of her shorts

got accepted into
a gallery showing

of emerging artists.

Isn't that amazing?

Congrats.

Thanks. Feels good
to finally emerge.

It was getting stuffy here
in obscurity.

You ever try
looking for her?

Who?

Your Korean ladyfriend.

Soon Hi?

What, are you kidding?

She lives halfway
across the world.

Sam, buddy, we work for
the Internal Revenue Service.

We're practically CIA.

What am I eating?

Falafel.

Is it meat?

It's chickpeas.

God.

Hey, can I ask you
a question?

How come you never introduce
me as your boyfriend?

I told you, I don't
have boyfriends.

Well, not since
the sixth grade.

Then what am I?

You are the adorable person

that I share my bed with.

Yeah, I don't have a problem
calling you my girlfriend.

Yeah, I know, and
I always hate it.

- Really?
- Hate is too strong.

But it makes me
uncomfortable.

Why?

Be-- because I don't
like labels.

Are you sure
that's all it is?

Of course.

Why?

I just wouldn't want it to be
that you're ashamed of me.

Why would you think that?

The other day when you
were telling Zan about
my bris video,

you made it sound like it was
an art film or something.

Like you were embarrassed.

Or wanted me to seem
cooler than I am.

I'm not embarrassed by you.

I'm not.

And I... I'm...

Afraid of turning
what we have into
something conventional.

Because it doesn't feel
that way to me.

It feels special.

Wow.

Ooh!

- Now, that's pretty.
- Yeah.