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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:28,628 --> 00:00:29,788 Yep. 2 00:00:31,064 --> 00:00:32,258 Yep. 3 00:00:33,967 --> 00:00:35,093 Yep. 4 00:00:39,305 --> 00:00:42,934 You know what it could be? That damn starter motor. 5 00:00:43,576 --> 00:00:45,544 You getting good compression? 6 00:00:45,678 --> 00:00:46,770 Yeah. 7 00:00:47,680 --> 00:00:49,477 I know what's wrong with it. 8 00:00:49,682 --> 00:00:51,047 It's a Ford. 9 00:00:51,451 --> 00:00:53,976 You know what they say Ford stands for, don't you? 10 00:00:54,154 --> 00:00:56,645 It stands for "Fix It Again, Tony." 11 00:00:57,424 --> 00:00:59,756 You're thinking of a Fiat, Dale. 12 00:01:00,493 --> 00:01:03,360 "Fix It Again"... 13 00:01:06,366 --> 00:01:07,993 I'll tell you what you do. 14 00:01:08,068 --> 00:01:10,662 You take them spark plugs out, and in that little hole... 15 00:01:10,737 --> 00:01:13,365 you put oil round there, just like Bobby Unser said: 16 00:01:13,440 --> 00:01:16,238 "The shock'd go bo-boom," just like that. 17 00:01:17,077 --> 00:01:19,910 Well, I wish it were that simple, Boomhauer. 18 00:01:20,246 --> 00:01:22,908 But I'll tell you what my truck really needs. 19 00:01:22,982 --> 00:01:24,006 Leadership. 20 00:01:24,451 --> 00:01:26,851 Detroit hasn't felt any real pride... 21 00:01:26,920 --> 00:01:29,184 since George Bush went to Japan... 22 00:01:29,255 --> 00:01:31,849 and vomited on their auto executives. 23 00:01:32,158 --> 00:01:33,557 Who's ready? 24 00:01:38,932 --> 00:01:41,560 You all catch the Seinfeld show last night? 25 00:01:41,634 --> 00:01:43,727 - Yep. - Hell, I missed it. 26 00:01:43,803 --> 00:01:46,863 See that part where dang old George comes in there? 27 00:01:46,940 --> 00:01:48,840 He talks about tasting his own burp. 28 00:01:48,908 --> 00:01:52,105 And Kramer comes sliding in just like he always does. 29 00:01:52,178 --> 00:01:55,909 I tell you what, man, them dang old New York boys. 30 00:01:56,282 --> 00:01:58,011 Just a show about nothing. 31 00:02:32,252 --> 00:02:34,220 What you listening to, son? 32 00:02:34,287 --> 00:02:35,811 I don't think you'd like it. 33 00:02:35,889 --> 00:02:36,878 Well, why not? 34 00:02:36,956 --> 00:02:39,220 I like this new generation of music. 35 00:02:41,761 --> 00:02:42,819 Hello? 36 00:02:44,063 --> 00:02:46,691 Mother of God! It's all toilet sounds! 37 00:02:47,100 --> 00:02:48,533 Where did you record this? 38 00:02:48,601 --> 00:02:50,068 I bought it at the mall. 39 00:02:50,136 --> 00:02:51,694 It's the Funny Phone Jerks. 40 00:02:51,771 --> 00:02:55,798 Let me tell you, Bobby, there's nothing funny about these sounds. 41 00:02:56,009 --> 00:02:59,911 What that person on your tape has is a medical disorder. 42 00:03:00,213 --> 00:03:02,272 Now you get ready for the game, okay? 43 00:03:02,348 --> 00:03:03,539 Yes, sir. 44 00:03:03,549 --> 00:03:04,049 Yes, sir. 45 00:03:04,249 --> 00:03:06,046 That boy ain't right. 46 00:03:07,920 --> 00:03:08,852 Oh, God! 47 00:03:08,921 --> 00:03:11,219 Luanne, I thought you went home! 48 00:03:11,290 --> 00:03:13,781 No, Uncle Hank, Mama and Daddy are still fighting. 49 00:03:14,026 --> 00:03:15,926 Well, you're welcome to stay. 50 00:03:15,994 --> 00:03:18,690 But for God's sakes, girl, lock the door. 51 00:03:18,797 --> 00:03:21,425 I've got a minor son living in this house. 52 00:03:24,102 --> 00:03:27,663 So are you ready to kick some Wildcat butt, Bobby? 53 00:03:28,106 --> 00:03:29,198 Okay. 54 00:03:29,341 --> 00:03:32,640 Now don't you worry, son. You just do your best. 55 00:03:32,711 --> 00:03:34,372 Don't listen to her, Bobby. 56 00:03:34,446 --> 00:03:38,405 If you want to win, you're gonna have to do better than your best. 57 00:03:38,483 --> 00:03:40,110 How do I do that? 58 00:03:40,185 --> 00:03:43,120 You gotta give 110 percent. 59 00:03:43,555 --> 00:03:45,750 That's what'll give you that winning edge. 60 00:03:45,824 --> 00:03:49,282 But what if the Wildcats give 110 percent, too? 61 00:03:49,628 --> 00:03:51,687 Well, then you gotta try even harder. 62 00:03:51,763 --> 00:03:54,288 How about if Bobby gave 112 percent? 63 00:03:54,766 --> 00:03:56,461 Sure, that'd work. 64 00:03:56,535 --> 00:03:59,504 Or maybe 113. 65 00:04:00,706 --> 00:04:02,799 Yeah, yeah, that's even better. 66 00:04:02,874 --> 00:04:04,171 No, I don't know. 67 00:04:04,242 --> 00:04:06,142 13 is a very unlucky number. 68 00:04:06,211 --> 00:04:08,509 Look, we're not talking about 13. 69 00:04:08,580 --> 00:04:11,105 We're talking about 113. 70 00:04:11,183 --> 00:04:12,616 And even... 71 00:04:12,684 --> 00:04:15,710 Okay, give 112, what's the difference? 72 00:04:15,787 --> 00:04:18,688 Look, Bobby, just do your best, okay? 73 00:04:21,994 --> 00:04:24,258 Swing, Bobby! Swing! Swing! 74 00:04:26,264 --> 00:04:27,162 Ball one. 75 00:04:27,232 --> 00:04:29,257 Good eye, honey, good eye. 76 00:04:30,235 --> 00:04:32,066 Oh, for crying out loud. 77 00:04:33,939 --> 00:04:37,204 Bobby, you can't make an omelet without breaking eggs. 78 00:04:37,275 --> 00:04:40,438 And you can't get on base without taking a swing. 79 00:04:40,512 --> 00:04:43,208 The pitcher could walk me, couldn't he? 80 00:04:43,315 --> 00:04:45,442 Don't play lawyer-ball, son. 81 00:04:45,550 --> 00:04:48,348 Now you hit the next one out of the park. 82 00:04:51,123 --> 00:04:52,750 Run! 83 00:04:53,258 --> 00:04:54,247 Run! Run! 84 00:04:58,930 --> 00:05:02,058 Look at the batter, boy! Watch the ball! 85 00:05:02,167 --> 00:05:03,191 Huh? 86 00:05:03,268 --> 00:05:04,394 What? 87 00:05:04,469 --> 00:05:07,802 Hey, don't look at me! Keep your eye on the ball. 88 00:05:07,873 --> 00:05:09,841 Keep my eye on the what? 89 00:05:09,908 --> 00:05:12,604 Stop looking at me, boy! Watch the ball! 90 00:05:12,678 --> 00:05:14,441 Can't hear you, Dad! 91 00:05:18,283 --> 00:05:20,979 Don't worry, Bobby. You played a good game. 92 00:05:21,386 --> 00:05:26,380 I gotta stop in here for a minute, and get me some WD-40 and a tap and die. 93 00:05:30,529 --> 00:05:33,327 Manager to Register 47, please. 94 00:05:34,199 --> 00:05:36,531 I hate this place. 95 00:05:36,802 --> 00:05:39,498 Excuse me, where is the hardware department? 96 00:05:39,571 --> 00:05:41,971 Where is the hardware department? 97 00:05:43,909 --> 00:05:45,900 What exactly is it you're looking for? 98 00:05:45,977 --> 00:05:47,808 The hardware department. 99 00:05:47,879 --> 00:05:50,370 But are you looking for, like, a tool or something? 100 00:05:50,449 --> 00:05:52,644 What difference does it make? 101 00:05:53,251 --> 00:05:54,946 What difference does it make? 102 00:05:55,020 --> 00:05:58,717 Okay, I'm looking for a tap and die and some WD-40. 103 00:05:58,957 --> 00:05:59,946 Huh. 104 00:06:00,058 --> 00:06:01,753 Well, what is it you're trying to do? 105 00:06:01,827 --> 00:06:05,957 I'm trying to buy a tap and die and some WD-40... 106 00:06:06,064 --> 00:06:08,555 and get out of this godforsaken store! 107 00:06:09,735 --> 00:06:11,134 And what is a tap and die? 108 00:06:11,203 --> 00:06:12,693 Okay! Forget it! 109 00:06:12,771 --> 00:06:16,263 Let's say I want a hammer! Do you know what a hammer is? 110 00:06:16,341 --> 00:06:18,502 That's what I want! A damned hammer! 111 00:06:18,577 --> 00:06:20,977 Now where in the hell would I go? 112 00:06:21,046 --> 00:06:24,106 That's that Hank Hill fella that lives on the block next to us. 113 00:06:24,182 --> 00:06:26,650 - Has a temper, doesn't he? - Sure does. 114 00:06:26,718 --> 00:06:29,380 Makes you wonder who gave his boy that black eye. 115 00:06:30,255 --> 00:06:32,450 You're going to have to pay for that, dude. 116 00:06:32,524 --> 00:06:33,718 You're fired! 117 00:06:34,926 --> 00:06:36,917 - Ella says she saw Hank hit his son. - Really? 118 00:06:37,529 --> 00:06:40,129 Well, I heard he threatened a clerk in Mega Lo Mart with a hammer. 119 00:06:40,232 --> 00:06:42,200 Did you hear about Hank Hill? 120 00:06:42,267 --> 00:06:43,427 He beat up his son. 121 00:06:43,502 --> 00:06:46,733 Some ladies in Mega Lo Mart tried to stop him. He beat them up, too. 122 00:06:46,805 --> 00:06:49,399 Somebody really ought to report him for the boy's sake. 123 00:06:49,741 --> 00:06:51,675 You say he hit his son with a bat? 124 00:06:52,444 --> 00:06:55,072 No. That is definitely not acceptable. 125 00:06:55,147 --> 00:06:56,478 I wish I could, ma'am. 126 00:06:56,548 --> 00:07:00,314 But the regulations say we can't take custody of the boy without an interview. 127 00:07:00,385 --> 00:07:03,946 Don't you worry. He's in the system now. I am on my way. 128 00:07:08,360 --> 00:07:10,487 Hey, I know what's wrong with your truck. 129 00:07:10,562 --> 00:07:13,156 It's your "pollution control." 130 00:07:13,298 --> 00:07:15,823 I heard on talk radio you don't even need them. 131 00:07:15,967 --> 00:07:18,026 They're just an egghead government plot. 132 00:07:18,103 --> 00:07:21,664 How is cutting down on pollution a government plot, Dale? 133 00:07:21,873 --> 00:07:23,534 Open up your eyes, man. 134 00:07:23,608 --> 00:07:25,872 They're trying to control global warming. 135 00:07:25,944 --> 00:07:28,139 Get it? Global. 136 00:07:28,213 --> 00:07:29,305 So what? 137 00:07:30,482 --> 00:07:32,677 That's code for UN commissars telling Americans... 138 00:07:32,751 --> 00:07:35,413 what temperature it's gonna be in our outdoors. 139 00:07:35,487 --> 00:07:37,114 I say let the world warm up. 140 00:07:37,189 --> 00:07:40,647 See what Boutros-Boutros-Ghali-Ghali thinks about that. 141 00:07:41,059 --> 00:07:42,822 We'll grow oranges in Alaska. 142 00:07:43,895 --> 00:07:46,420 Dale, you giblet-head, we live in Texas. 143 00:07:47,599 --> 00:07:49,590 It's already 110 in the summer. 144 00:07:49,668 --> 00:07:53,297 And if it gets one degree hotter, I'm gonna kick your ass. 145 00:07:54,873 --> 00:07:57,933 What in God's name is that thumping sound? 146 00:07:59,277 --> 00:08:01,802 Bobby, why don't you go out and help your daddy? 147 00:08:01,880 --> 00:08:04,508 You have been watching way too much TV, son. 148 00:08:04,649 --> 00:08:06,378 Come on, Bobby, up. 149 00:08:06,484 --> 00:08:08,315 No more TV. Turn it off now. 150 00:08:11,990 --> 00:08:13,890 God love that poor man. 151 00:08:16,461 --> 00:08:18,088 There. That's better. 152 00:08:26,705 --> 00:08:28,935 Hello, I'm a social worker with the state. 153 00:08:29,007 --> 00:08:30,998 Would you mind if I talk to you for a minute? 154 00:08:31,076 --> 00:08:32,737 Sure. Come on in. 155 00:08:33,445 --> 00:08:35,436 Damn it. There it is again. 156 00:08:35,513 --> 00:08:39,313 Where is that thumping coming from? It's driving me crazy. 157 00:08:40,051 --> 00:08:42,178 Could be far-off helicopters. 158 00:08:42,254 --> 00:08:44,381 UN helicopters. 159 00:08:44,489 --> 00:08:45,922 Dale, what are you doing? 160 00:08:45,991 --> 00:08:48,926 Give me some light! Now! I can't see! 161 00:08:49,761 --> 00:08:50,785 My arm! 162 00:08:50,862 --> 00:08:52,090 My head! 163 00:08:54,599 --> 00:08:55,691 God! 164 00:08:56,067 --> 00:08:59,002 Mrs. Hill, would you say your husband has a bad temper? 165 00:08:59,070 --> 00:09:00,162 Who, Hank? 166 00:09:00,238 --> 00:09:02,832 No, Hank is as gentle as a lamb. 167 00:09:03,675 --> 00:09:07,611 Dang, no more bouncing that ball! 168 00:09:07,679 --> 00:09:09,647 Hank, we have a visitor. 169 00:09:14,152 --> 00:09:15,881 So your assertion, Mr. Hill... 170 00:09:15,954 --> 00:09:18,684 is that Bobby got the black eye at his baseball game? 171 00:09:18,757 --> 00:09:22,386 That is not my assertion. That's what happened. 172 00:09:22,460 --> 00:09:25,293 - Have you ever hit your son, Mr. Hill? - No! 173 00:09:27,032 --> 00:09:29,262 What the heck are you writing? 174 00:09:29,334 --> 00:09:31,825 All you gotta write is one word, "no"! 175 00:09:31,903 --> 00:09:35,532 Mr. Hill, I feel that you're coming from an anger mindset. 176 00:09:35,640 --> 00:09:37,904 And if you're projecting this anger onto me... 177 00:09:37,976 --> 00:09:40,604 it gives me grave concerns as to how you facilitate... 178 00:09:40,679 --> 00:09:42,442 your son's growth in private. 179 00:09:42,514 --> 00:09:46,746 Mister, I have not begun to project my anger onto you. 180 00:09:46,885 --> 00:09:49,820 Mrs. Hill, how did you get this here on your forehead? 181 00:09:49,888 --> 00:09:51,856 This? Bobby threw his baseball at me. 182 00:09:51,923 --> 00:09:54,016 You threw a baseball at your mother? 183 00:09:54,092 --> 00:09:56,083 Hank, it was an accident. 184 00:09:56,695 --> 00:09:59,926 So would this be the same "baseball" that gave Bobby the black eye? 185 00:10:01,566 --> 00:10:04,967 Dale, you sure you want to be messing with Hank's truck when he's not around? 186 00:10:05,036 --> 00:10:07,368 I'm gonna help get him this alternator off. 187 00:10:08,573 --> 00:10:11,599 Dale, I think you released the brake cable. 188 00:10:11,676 --> 00:10:12,665 Dale! 189 00:10:12,744 --> 00:10:14,143 No, I didn't. 190 00:10:16,047 --> 00:10:18,140 I guess I better get going. 191 00:10:18,450 --> 00:10:20,111 I got some edging to do. 192 00:10:22,587 --> 00:10:24,748 Do you work outside the home, Mrs. Hill? 193 00:10:24,823 --> 00:10:27,849 Yes, I do. I'm a substitute Spanish teacher. 194 00:10:30,762 --> 00:10:32,389 And you just have the one son? 195 00:10:33,498 --> 00:10:35,363 Yeah, we would've liked to have more kids... 196 00:10:35,533 --> 00:10:38,434 - but Hank has a narrow urethra. - Peggy! 197 00:10:38,503 --> 00:10:41,267 - In fact, Hank's sperm count... - That's enough. 198 00:10:41,339 --> 00:10:43,773 What in the hell did you tell him that for? 199 00:10:43,875 --> 00:10:44,899 He asked me. 200 00:10:44,976 --> 00:10:49,174 He asked you how many kids we have. He didn't ask you about my glands. 201 00:10:49,414 --> 00:10:52,713 Please, Mr. Hill, loud is not allowed. 202 00:10:53,051 --> 00:10:55,542 What the... "Loud is not allowed"? 203 00:10:55,620 --> 00:10:57,383 Now you listen to me, mister. 204 00:10:57,455 --> 00:11:00,288 I work for a living. And I mean real work. 205 00:11:00,358 --> 00:11:02,656 Not writing down gobbledygook. 206 00:11:02,827 --> 00:11:05,295 I provide the people of this community... 207 00:11:05,363 --> 00:11:07,888 with propane and propane accessories. 208 00:11:09,033 --> 00:11:12,002 When I think of all my hard-earned tax dollars... 209 00:11:12,070 --> 00:11:16,097 going to pay a bunch of little twig-boy bureaucrats like you... 210 00:11:16,174 --> 00:11:18,301 it just makes me want to... 211 00:11:19,177 --> 00:11:20,269 God, it just... 212 00:11:21,446 --> 00:11:22,378 Hank? 213 00:11:22,447 --> 00:11:26,474 Honey, bring me my BC Headache Powder and a glass of water. 214 00:11:26,751 --> 00:11:28,343 All right, Hank. 215 00:11:28,419 --> 00:11:31,252 Now, you listen here. You see that boy? 216 00:11:31,322 --> 00:11:32,482 That's my boy. 217 00:11:32,757 --> 00:11:36,193 And if you ever try to take him away, so help me God... 218 00:11:36,261 --> 00:11:39,594 I'll tear you a new one bigger than the Grand Canyon. 219 00:11:39,797 --> 00:11:42,425 Now I want you to get out of my house. 220 00:11:42,500 --> 00:11:43,933 You're not welcome here. 221 00:11:44,002 --> 00:11:47,961 I mean now, before I give you a black eye! Git! 222 00:11:51,009 --> 00:11:53,239 You want to know about ol' Hank? 223 00:11:53,578 --> 00:11:54,567 Well... 224 00:11:54,712 --> 00:11:56,907 Hank's got a lot of problems. 225 00:11:57,015 --> 00:11:59,882 Hey, baby! How about a couple of beers! 226 00:12:00,184 --> 00:12:01,481 Sorry, sug', I gotta go. 227 00:12:01,553 --> 00:12:04,249 I got another migraine treatment with John Redcorn. 228 00:12:04,322 --> 00:12:07,155 Nancy, you've been going to that healer for 12 years... 229 00:12:07,225 --> 00:12:09,591 and you still get headaches every night. 230 00:12:09,661 --> 00:12:12,061 Healing process takes time, honey. 231 00:12:14,332 --> 00:12:16,163 Getting back to the Hill family. 232 00:12:16,234 --> 00:12:18,464 Have you ever seen Hank hit his child, Bobby? 233 00:12:18,536 --> 00:12:22,165 Hank? No sir, Bobby's his pride and joy... 234 00:12:22,340 --> 00:12:25,070 because of his narrow urethra. 235 00:12:26,311 --> 00:12:28,438 - Are you absolutely sure? - 100 percent. 236 00:12:28,513 --> 00:12:31,641 You can ask my son. He's Bobby's best friend. 237 00:12:31,716 --> 00:12:32,910 Joseph! 238 00:12:33,017 --> 00:12:34,575 What is it, Daddy? 239 00:12:34,652 --> 00:12:36,381 You ever seen Hank hit Bobby? 240 00:12:36,454 --> 00:12:37,819 No, never. 241 00:12:38,022 --> 00:12:39,080 See? 242 00:12:39,691 --> 00:12:41,454 You can just move along now. 243 00:12:41,559 --> 00:12:44,323 I've been calling y'all better than a month now. 244 00:12:44,395 --> 00:12:47,125 Gripe about y'all every time that dog crosses the street... 245 00:12:47,198 --> 00:12:50,167 starts yapping his jaw 24 hours a day, and nobody answered. 246 00:12:50,234 --> 00:12:54,398 How you supposed to do anything about that dog if you just get on your computer? 247 00:12:54,472 --> 00:12:57,066 Ain't gonna come over here and shut that dang ol' dog up. 248 00:12:57,241 --> 00:13:01,678 And then some weirdo came over and was asking us a bunch of questions. 249 00:13:02,013 --> 00:13:05,210 Yeah, he asked me if your dad ever whupped you. 250 00:13:05,450 --> 00:13:07,714 - He hasn't, right? - Of course not! 251 00:13:07,785 --> 00:13:10,117 You know my dad. He's all bark. 252 00:13:10,555 --> 00:13:12,648 That guy got him mad, though. 253 00:13:12,724 --> 00:13:16,353 My dad was like, "Get out of my house! 254 00:13:16,461 --> 00:13:19,521 "My boy ain't much, but he's all I got!" 255 00:13:21,299 --> 00:13:23,563 You do great impressions. 256 00:13:23,935 --> 00:13:24,993 Let me try. 257 00:13:25,503 --> 00:13:28,063 "I'll tear you a new one! 258 00:13:28,239 --> 00:13:32,505 "When I get my hands on you, you little pea-brain... 259 00:13:32,944 --> 00:13:36,243 "I'll bust your butt into little pieces!" 260 00:13:36,781 --> 00:13:38,146 I knew it! 261 00:13:38,983 --> 00:13:42,146 Good God, Peggy, this was on my Road & Track. 262 00:13:42,820 --> 00:13:45,812 Luanne! Honey, can we talk to you? 263 00:13:45,890 --> 00:13:48,222 Wait! Not while I'm here. 264 00:13:49,394 --> 00:13:50,827 Mama's in jail. 265 00:13:50,895 --> 00:13:53,159 She was saving a quart of beer for before bed. 266 00:13:53,231 --> 00:13:55,699 Daddy threw it out. She went after him with a fork. 267 00:13:55,767 --> 00:13:58,327 The trailer tipped over, everything went upside down. 268 00:13:58,403 --> 00:14:01,236 It's all gonna be on Real Stories of the Highway Patrol! 269 00:14:01,305 --> 00:14:05,173 And the wig I styled for the Beauty Academy is ruined. 270 00:14:06,210 --> 00:14:08,474 What am I gonna do, Uncle Hank? 271 00:14:09,847 --> 00:14:11,041 There, there. 272 00:14:11,182 --> 00:14:14,777 You can stay with us till your mama comes home. 273 00:14:15,353 --> 00:14:19,153 You'll style a new wig better than before. 274 00:14:19,857 --> 00:14:21,882 I'll let you use my tools. 275 00:14:22,894 --> 00:14:24,623 Thanks, Uncle Hank. 276 00:14:26,230 --> 00:14:27,857 She has got to go. 277 00:14:31,035 --> 00:14:33,868 Bobby, are you all right? Come on out. 278 00:14:33,938 --> 00:14:35,701 I thought I told you to get lost. 279 00:14:35,907 --> 00:14:36,965 Come on, Bobby. 280 00:14:37,241 --> 00:14:40,142 I can put you with a nice foster family in North Arlen... 281 00:14:40,211 --> 00:14:42,873 where you can develop healthy life adaptations. 282 00:14:42,947 --> 00:14:44,278 And they've got a pool. 283 00:14:44,348 --> 00:14:46,111 Honey, let's give him Luanne. 284 00:14:46,184 --> 00:14:49,017 I got a girl in here you can take right now. 285 00:14:49,087 --> 00:14:51,715 Don't you want to live in a house with a pool? 286 00:14:51,889 --> 00:14:52,821 No. 287 00:14:52,890 --> 00:14:54,152 See, twig boy? 288 00:14:54,225 --> 00:14:56,750 Now get your skinny butt off of my property. 289 00:14:56,828 --> 00:15:00,286 Bobby, I know you can't talk in front of him. 290 00:15:00,364 --> 00:15:03,663 - I said git! Get out of here! - Okay. 291 00:15:03,735 --> 00:15:07,262 - You are out of control! - You're out of control, Twiggy. 292 00:15:12,810 --> 00:15:16,007 - Thanks for the latte, Kenneth. - Anthony, could I see you a minute? 293 00:15:16,948 --> 00:15:18,973 So on this Hill family case... 294 00:15:19,050 --> 00:15:22,247 you couldn't confirm any actual abuse, but you still recommended... 295 00:15:22,320 --> 00:15:23,685 the state take custody? 296 00:15:23,855 --> 00:15:26,790 Yeah, I mean, the whole neighborhood was Redneck City. 297 00:15:26,858 --> 00:15:29,452 Did you see in the report, how he dented my Geo? 298 00:15:29,527 --> 00:15:31,893 "Redneck City." That's pretty funny. 299 00:15:32,029 --> 00:15:34,463 - Where you from, son? - Los Angeles. 300 00:15:35,800 --> 00:15:38,234 Let's see here, "hit by a baseball." 301 00:15:40,037 --> 00:15:41,061 So... 302 00:15:41,139 --> 00:15:42,436 How did you like ol' Harvey? 303 00:15:43,674 --> 00:15:44,766 Who's Harvey? 304 00:15:44,842 --> 00:15:46,901 He's the Little League coach. 305 00:15:46,978 --> 00:15:49,606 You did talk to the Little League coach, didn't you? 306 00:15:55,253 --> 00:15:57,915 Son, have you lost your mind? 307 00:15:58,022 --> 00:16:01,958 Wait! Dad, you're not supposed to yell at me anymore. 308 00:16:02,326 --> 00:16:04,157 The guy from the state said... 309 00:16:04,228 --> 00:16:08,995 your hostility invalidates our parent-child contract. 310 00:16:09,100 --> 00:16:11,796 You're quoting that twig boy at me? 311 00:16:11,869 --> 00:16:13,359 Hank, the neighbors. 312 00:16:13,437 --> 00:16:16,770 Remember, he said, "loud is not allowed," Dad... 313 00:16:16,841 --> 00:16:18,809 or they'll take me away. 314 00:16:20,444 --> 00:16:21,775 Oh, God. 315 00:16:26,450 --> 00:16:27,508 Hello? 316 00:16:27,585 --> 00:16:30,383 Is this the Hill residence? Who am I talking to? 317 00:16:30,454 --> 00:16:31,614 Bobby Hill. 318 00:16:31,689 --> 00:16:34,317 Son, this is the State Social Services. 319 00:16:34,392 --> 00:16:37,020 We're calling off our investigation of your father. 320 00:16:37,094 --> 00:16:41,428 The worker that visited you will be leaving the office and going back to LA. 321 00:16:41,499 --> 00:16:44,764 You please tell your parents we apologize for the misunderstanding. 322 00:16:44,836 --> 00:16:47,134 Okay. I'll tell them. Bye. 323 00:16:47,338 --> 00:16:49,101 Bobby, who was that? 324 00:16:50,942 --> 00:16:52,409 Wrong number. 325 00:17:08,893 --> 00:17:10,758 I borrowed your truck this morning, Uncle Hank. 326 00:17:10,828 --> 00:17:14,924 It wouldn't start at first, because of a clogged fuel line, but I blew it clean. 327 00:17:18,169 --> 00:17:21,073 Hey, Bobby, go plug this in the garage for me. 328 00:17:21,206 --> 00:17:22,138 Okay. 329 00:17:26,845 --> 00:17:28,938 Want to see something cool? 330 00:17:32,617 --> 00:17:33,709 What in the heck? 331 00:17:33,785 --> 00:17:36,811 Don't you see I'm working here? Close the dang door. 332 00:17:37,255 --> 00:17:39,246 Bob, just keep put, stop! 333 00:17:39,391 --> 00:17:40,551 Stop hitting that button! 334 00:17:40,625 --> 00:17:41,717 Give me that thing! 335 00:17:41,793 --> 00:17:46,025 Dad, that's not respectful adult-child growth dialogue. 336 00:17:46,098 --> 00:17:47,998 I'll give you dialogue... 337 00:17:48,066 --> 00:17:51,229 that's not coming from a center of anger. 338 00:17:51,470 --> 00:17:53,802 Please return the garage door... 339 00:17:53,872 --> 00:17:56,739 to its factory-preset down position! 340 00:17:59,277 --> 00:18:00,904 That is cool. 341 00:18:05,016 --> 00:18:06,847 Bobby, hey! 342 00:18:07,919 --> 00:18:10,046 Please respect... 343 00:18:10,288 --> 00:18:13,519 my fence's right to be a fence. 344 00:18:14,292 --> 00:18:15,316 Now! 345 00:18:19,731 --> 00:18:21,756 You can't do nothing. 346 00:18:22,934 --> 00:18:23,992 Hey! Hey! 347 00:18:24,369 --> 00:18:26,132 You're all wet, Dad! 348 00:18:29,808 --> 00:18:31,173 Creak. 349 00:18:33,745 --> 00:18:34,609 Boing! 350 00:18:34,679 --> 00:18:37,807 What on God's green earth are you making those noises for? 351 00:18:37,883 --> 00:18:41,216 They're sound effects, like that guy on Police Academy. 352 00:18:41,286 --> 00:18:43,914 That's what I'm gonna do when I grow up, I've decided. 353 00:18:43,989 --> 00:18:46,253 And Dad can't say boo about it. 354 00:18:46,324 --> 00:18:50,124 Bobby, a man from the Child Protective Services just came by. 355 00:18:50,829 --> 00:18:54,959 He said that he told you last week that this investigation was off. 356 00:18:57,302 --> 00:18:59,167 Please don't tell Dad! 357 00:18:59,471 --> 00:19:01,871 Son, I have to. He's been worried. 358 00:19:01,940 --> 00:19:04,841 - But I like him better this way. - How come? 359 00:19:04,910 --> 00:19:07,811 I can make him love me even when I screw up. 360 00:19:08,413 --> 00:19:10,313 Is that what you think? 361 00:19:13,618 --> 00:19:15,245 It's hard, Peggy. 362 00:19:15,654 --> 00:19:18,748 I don't want to lose my little boy, my only son. 363 00:19:19,724 --> 00:19:21,214 But it's hard. 364 00:19:21,293 --> 00:19:22,783 Well, you can relax. 365 00:19:22,894 --> 00:19:25,658 The investigation has been off for a week... 366 00:19:25,730 --> 00:19:27,630 only, Bobby didn't tell us. 367 00:19:27,699 --> 00:19:29,633 - I'll kill him! - All right, calm down, honey. 368 00:19:29,701 --> 00:19:32,966 Now let me explain. He didn't do it to be mean. 369 00:19:33,038 --> 00:19:35,973 Bobby honestly doesn't think that you love him all the time. 370 00:19:36,041 --> 00:19:37,872 That's crazy. Of course I love him. 371 00:19:37,943 --> 00:19:40,036 Very good. Now, say it to Bobby. 372 00:19:40,111 --> 00:19:41,578 What are you talking about? 373 00:19:41,646 --> 00:19:45,639 I want you to tell Bobby that your love for him is unconditional. 374 00:19:45,750 --> 00:19:48,116 I can't say that. I can't! 375 00:19:48,687 --> 00:19:52,214 You know how I was raised. What my father's like. 376 00:19:52,290 --> 00:19:56,226 I got my shins blowed off by a Japan man's machine gun! 377 00:19:56,628 --> 00:19:59,620 So don't come crying to me with your problems! 378 00:20:00,865 --> 00:20:02,526 Honey, I'm begging you. 379 00:20:02,601 --> 00:20:05,195 For the sake of this family, you have got to do it. 380 00:20:05,270 --> 00:20:07,602 He's waiting for you out on the porch. 381 00:20:07,672 --> 00:20:08,661 Jeez. 382 00:20:08,907 --> 00:20:11,432 Damn twig boy comes over here... 383 00:20:16,548 --> 00:20:17,845 You... 384 00:20:18,617 --> 00:20:20,107 You're my son. 385 00:20:20,986 --> 00:20:23,181 Well, you know, with everything... 386 00:20:23,788 --> 00:20:25,415 that entails. 387 00:20:30,695 --> 00:20:31,684 You know... 388 00:20:31,896 --> 00:20:35,798 feelings of fondness and more... 389 00:20:37,235 --> 00:20:39,203 You know what I mean, don't you, boy? 390 00:20:39,704 --> 00:20:40,728 No. 391 00:20:42,340 --> 00:20:43,329 Well... 392 00:20:45,243 --> 00:20:48,337 That's a hell of a weird sound. I never made that before. 393 00:20:49,247 --> 00:20:50,236 I... 394 00:20:50,715 --> 00:20:51,704 you... 395 00:20:53,084 --> 00:20:54,278 family. 396 00:20:56,655 --> 00:20:59,351 You're not making this easy on me, boy. 397 00:21:00,592 --> 00:21:01,581 Okay. 398 00:21:02,060 --> 00:21:04,358 I love you no matter what you do. There! 399 00:21:04,429 --> 00:21:06,659 Let's go get something to eat! 400 00:21:06,798 --> 00:21:07,856 I'm not... 401 00:21:08,700 --> 00:21:11,100 just a big disappointment to you? 402 00:21:11,169 --> 00:21:14,627 Disappointment? No. You make me proud. 403 00:21:15,073 --> 00:21:18,304 I've been disappointed by just about everything else in this town. 404 00:21:18,376 --> 00:21:20,139 But you? Not once. 405 00:21:20,645 --> 00:21:22,510 Damn it, you're my boy. 406 00:21:23,048 --> 00:21:25,073 You know better than that. 407 00:21:26,451 --> 00:21:27,509 He punched him! 408 00:21:27,585 --> 00:21:29,780 I knew it! I told them! Did you see that? 409 00:21:29,854 --> 00:21:31,583 See what, twig boy? 410 00:21:32,457 --> 00:21:33,788 Never mind. 30807

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