All language subtitles for Frasier - 03x12 - Come Lie with Me.DVDRip.English.orig.Addic7ed.com

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:17,948 --> 00:00:19,389 Morning. 2 00:00:19,389 --> 00:00:21,795 Morning. 3 00:00:21,795 --> 00:00:24,186 Morning? Oh my God, Joe, 4 00:00:24,186 --> 00:00:28,297 get up! Get up! You were supposed to be out of here hours ago. 5 00:00:28,297 --> 00:00:33,520 You promised me that after we did the deed you'd be on your merry way. 6 00:00:33,520 --> 00:00:34,500 I was. 7 00:00:34,500 --> 00:00:40,697 Get dressed. We've got to get you out of here before Dr. Crane gets up. 8 00:00:40,697 --> 00:00:44,092 Oh, no. I smell coffee. They're already up! 9 00:00:44,092 --> 00:00:46,986 Now don't worry. I'll just lay low until the two of them... 10 00:00:46,986 --> 00:00:49,786 Oh my God, it's nine o'clock. I'm a half-hour late for work. 11 00:00:49,786 --> 00:00:51,955 Just give me a minute. I'll get rid of them. 12 00:00:51,955 --> 00:00:54,161 Where's my underwear? 13 00:00:55,599 --> 00:00:58,214 Eddie, get back here! 14 00:01:01,711 --> 00:01:03,087 Good morning. 15 00:01:03,087 --> 00:01:07,661 Maybe for you. I just spent five minutes trying to button these pants. 16 00:01:07,661 --> 00:01:15,590 That stupid dryer shrunk another pair on me. 17 00:01:15,590 --> 00:01:20,465 Dad. Before you blame the dryer, have you ever considered stepping on the old bathroom scales? 18 00:01:20,465 --> 00:01:28,142 Oh, what's the point? That thing's been ten pounds off for weeks. 19 00:01:31,315 --> 00:01:33,072 Daphne? 20 00:01:33,072 --> 00:01:36,585 Good morning, Dr. Crane. Sorry I overslept. 21 00:01:36,585 --> 00:01:40,806 Well, time we all got our day started. I'll just clear these dishes away. 22 00:01:40,806 --> 00:01:42,774 Wait, I wasn't finished with that yet. 23 00:01:42,774 --> 00:01:45,842 Whoops. Sorry about that. 24 00:01:45,842 --> 00:01:47,719 Daphne, I wasn't quite finished with that toast either. 25 00:01:47,719 --> 00:01:51,528 Oh, now, we can't have you running off to your squash game on a full stomach. 26 00:01:51,528 --> 00:01:57,006 Yes ?how many championship matches have been marred by the heartbreak of toast cramp? 27 00:01:57,006 --> 00:01:58,681 Don't you have that Doctor's appointment? 28 00:01:58,681 --> 00:02:00,854 Yes, but it's not for 20 minutes yet. What's going on here? 29 00:02:00,854 --> 00:02:02,418 Why are you giving us the bum's rush? 30 00:02:02,418 --> 00:02:06,072 Bum's rush! Oh, I just love the American vernacular. 31 00:02:06,072 --> 00:02:10,408 So cute. So quick. So long! 32 00:02:10,787 --> 00:02:14,390 Better get my wallet first. Damn pants! You know ? 33 00:02:14,390 --> 00:02:19,540 you spend fifteen dollars on a good pair of pants - you expect them to be shrink resistant. 34 00:02:19,540 --> 00:02:25,519 Well, Dad, when you pay that kind of money what you're really paying for is the designer name! 35 00:02:25,519 --> 00:02:26,664 Gotta go. I'm so late. 36 00:02:26,664 --> 00:02:29,109 Oh hurry, hurry, hurry! 37 00:02:29,109 --> 00:02:30,153 I'll call you tonight. 38 00:02:30,153 --> 00:02:31,737 OK. Bye. 39 00:02:31,737 --> 00:02:33,534 OH..GOD OH..GOD 40 00:02:34,458 --> 00:02:37,607 Oh! 41 00:02:37,607 --> 00:02:39,379 Hello Joe. 42 00:02:39,379 --> 00:02:46,612 Hi Dr. Crane. I just came by to give Daphne a kiss. 43 00:02:48,721 --> 00:02:52,915 And drop off these shoes. 44 00:02:52,915 --> 00:02:54,927 Here! Oh, thank you. 45 00:02:54,927 --> 00:03:02,605 Well. Can anyone think of anything to make this moment a bit more awkward than it already is? 46 00:03:10,610 --> 00:03:12,756 Thank you, Eddie! 47 00:03:16,223 --> 00:03:17,940 THEY'RE PLAYING DO-SI-DO, BUT NOT FOR ME 48 00:03:17,940 --> 00:03:20,246 Oh..Thank you very much 49 00:03:21,721 --> 00:03:24,144 Isn't that Dirk and Gabby Bindercott? 50 00:03:24,144 --> 00:03:25,260 Friends of yours? 51 00:03:25,260 --> 00:03:26,889 Mmm. Filthy rich. Timber money. 52 00:03:26,889 --> 00:03:28,764 In their case it really does grow on trees! 53 00:03:28,764 --> 00:03:33,376 Dirk! Gabby! Oh, Dirk? 54 00:03:35,020 --> 00:03:36,448 Hello, Niles. 55 00:03:36,448 --> 00:03:38,738 Dirk Bindercott ?my brother Dr. Frasier Crane. 56 00:03:38,738 --> 00:03:41,980 Ah ?I've heard your program. 57 00:03:41,980 --> 00:03:45,754 Well ?I've seen your wife. 58 00:03:46,556 --> 00:03:50,867 So Niles ?I suppose I'll see you at the benefit on Sunday. 59 00:03:50,867 --> 00:03:53,159 I know Maris is coming. 60 00:03:53,159 --> 00:03:59,032 Yes, Sunday. Which benefit is Sunday? I have so many benefits... on Sunday. 61 00:03:59,032 --> 00:04:02,462 The ho-down for the homeless. You were invited? 62 00:04:02,462 --> 00:04:06,809 The ho-down? Yippee-kai-yes! 63 00:04:06,809 --> 00:04:08,143 Must be Gabby. 64 00:04:08,143 --> 00:04:10,444 Certainly sounds like her. 65 00:04:10,444 --> 00:04:11,241 See you Sunday. 66 00:04:11,241 --> 00:04:13,240 Yes. Till Sunday. 67 00:04:17,931 --> 00:04:19,481 I wasn't invited. 68 00:04:19,481 --> 00:04:21,128 Niles, it's one party. 69 00:04:21,128 --> 00:04:24,611 Yes, but when you're off the A-list for one party you're off for all of them. 70 00:04:24,611 --> 00:04:27,268 From now on I'll be relegated to B-list charity events. 71 00:04:27,268 --> 00:04:31,539 Grubby little theatre companies and last year's diseases. 72 00:04:31,539 --> 00:04:34,853 This often happens in these cases when two people separate ? 73 00:04:34,853 --> 00:04:38,017 their friends choose one spouse over the other. 74 00:04:38,017 --> 00:04:43,634 Surely they chose Maris because she's better connected and has more money than you do. 75 00:04:43,634 --> 00:04:47,486 Exactly which part of that was meant to ease my pain? 76 00:04:47,486 --> 00:04:49,165 Niles, I just think you're overreacting. 77 00:04:49,165 --> 00:04:50,442 Oh wait, wait. 78 00:04:50,442 --> 00:04:54,447 I know what happened. My invitation just got lost in the mail. 79 00:04:54,447 --> 00:04:58,540 No ?it's not so far fetched. It could have been missorted... or a stamp could have fallen off... 80 00:04:58,540 --> 00:05:05,188 or it could have been stolen by my mail carrier. Ho-downs are catnip to postal workers! 81 00:05:05,973 --> 00:05:10,442 Well I'd ask you to explain that but then you would! 82 00:05:10,442 --> 00:05:12,681 I'm going to check with the post office. You know ? 83 00:05:12,681 --> 00:05:20,026 I heard a story on the news the other day about a man who bought a piano at auction and when he went to tune it he found a 40-year-old unmailed letter under the sounding board. 84 00:05:20,026 --> 00:05:24,701 Perhaps we should contact Feronte and Tisha (sp.??) ?see if they have your invitation? 85 00:05:24,701 --> 00:05:26,371 Poke fun now. 86 00:05:26,371 --> 00:05:32,230 We'll see who feels foolish this Sunday when I'm sipping champagne atop a mechanical bull! 87 00:05:33,322 --> 00:05:35,089 Cappuccino, please. 88 00:05:35,089 --> 00:05:38,241 Roz, I want to get your take on something. 89 00:05:38,241 --> 00:05:39,240 What? 90 00:05:39,240 --> 00:05:41,776 Well. 91 00:05:41,776 --> 00:05:46,739 Daphne and Joe are having sex in my apartment and it leaves me in a rather awkward position. 92 00:05:46,739 --> 00:05:50,854 Doing what? Bending over to look through the keyhole? 93 00:05:50,854 --> 00:05:52,999 Oh Frasier, come on, what is the big deal? 94 00:05:52,999 --> 00:05:58,648 Well, let's just say that I'm sitting there listening to music, reading a book... 95 00:05:58,648 --> 00:06:02,340 and Daphne and Joe are "back there." 96 00:06:02,340 --> 00:06:03,417 So? 97 00:06:03,417 --> 00:06:07,122 Well, it just makes me uncomfortable. 98 00:06:07,122 --> 00:06:10,140 I'm going to ask Daphne not to sleep with Joe in the house anymore. 99 00:06:10,140 --> 00:06:11,069 Is that too...? 100 00:06:11,069 --> 00:06:13,401 Amish? 101 00:06:14,445 --> 00:06:16,425 I was going to say selfish! 102 00:06:16,425 --> 00:06:23,246 Oh, let's see. Please Daphne ?don't have sex. It disturbs my reading! No, that's not too selfish. 103 00:06:23,246 --> 00:06:25,895 Well, I just don't think a man should be uncomfortable in his own home. 104 00:06:25,895 --> 00:06:31,606 How am I supposed to relax when every giggle, every noise makes me... you know...? 105 00:06:31,606 --> 00:06:33,767 Picture it? 106 00:06:33,767 --> 00:06:38,476 Of course not. Don't be ridiculous. The very idea. 107 00:06:38,476 --> 00:06:40,928 You're picturing it right now, aren't you? 108 00:06:40,928 --> 00:06:43,925 Well, you made me. 109 00:06:48,004 --> 00:06:51,120 Hey, Fras. Hey, Dad. 110 00:06:51,120 --> 00:06:52,469 Is Daphne in? 111 00:06:52,469 --> 00:06:55,783 Yeah, and if you have any sense you'll pretend that nothing happened this morning. 112 00:06:55,783 --> 00:06:57,861 Ah, yes. Denial. 113 00:06:57,861 --> 00:07:04,274 The sort of advice I'd expect from a man whose driver's license still lists his hair colour as brown. 114 00:07:05,479 --> 00:07:11,281 It was until you came back to town! 115 00:07:15,171 --> 00:07:19,995 Daphne. I think we need to discuss what happened this morning. 116 00:07:19,995 --> 00:07:23,262 It's been bothering me all day. It was entirely my fault. 117 00:07:23,262 --> 00:07:25,139 No, no. I share the blame. 118 00:07:25,139 --> 00:07:31,099 We never did have a formal discussion about the rules of the house, especially when it comes to... you know... 119 00:07:31,099 --> 00:07:34,718 I do want to apologise for any embarrassment I may have caused. 120 00:07:34,718 --> 00:07:40,164 You see, we can't go to Joe's because he's still building his house and he sleeps on a friend's couch. 121 00:07:40,164 --> 00:07:43,685 But I can assure you it will never happen again. 122 00:07:43,685 --> 00:07:45,499 Well, then our business is concluded. 123 00:07:45,499 --> 00:07:46,691 Meeting adjourned. 124 00:07:46,691 --> 00:07:53,475 The next time Joe spends the night, I'll notify you well in advance. 125 00:08:02,665 --> 00:08:09,629 Daphne. I was just reviewing the minutes of our last meeting. 126 00:08:09,629 --> 00:08:11,227 There seems to be some confusion. 127 00:08:11,227 --> 00:08:12,041 Oh? 128 00:08:12,041 --> 00:08:15,854 You see, my quibble is not with the lack of notification. 129 00:08:15,854 --> 00:08:20,352 I am just not comfortable with you and Joe sleeping together under my roof. 130 00:08:20,352 --> 00:08:22,880 Oh, I see. 131 00:08:22,880 --> 00:08:26,066 I'm sorry about that, but it is my room, isn't it? 132 00:08:26,066 --> 00:08:28,601 Oh yes, yes. And I want you to feel comfortable living here. 133 00:08:28,601 --> 00:08:34,369 I suppose it's more important for you to feel comfortable because, as you said, it is your roof. 134 00:08:34,369 --> 00:08:37,535 Oh. Thank you for understanding. 135 00:08:37,535 --> 00:08:47,313 Not at all. Joe and I are going away for the weekend but first thing Monday I'm going to start looking for me own place. 136 00:08:54,362 --> 00:08:57,967 Guess who? 137 00:08:57,967 --> 00:09:02,980 Daphne... em... I don't want you entertaining here but I also don't want you to move out. 138 00:09:02,980 --> 00:09:06,626 Oh, I see. So you want me to stay, but just not have a personal life? 139 00:09:06,626 --> 00:09:07,243 Well... 140 00:09:07,243 --> 00:09:09,216 No, no. That works out fine for me. 141 00:09:09,216 --> 00:09:16,329 I'll just spend all day waiting on you and your father, then in the evenings retire to me room, wrap meself in an Afghan and wait for the morning. 142 00:09:16,329 --> 00:09:25,762 And if my whimpering gets too loud for you ?you can just have me fixed like Eddie! 143 00:09:25,762 --> 00:09:28,092 That is not what I meant. 144 00:09:28,092 --> 00:09:30,229 This is difficult for both of us, Daphne. 145 00:09:30,229 --> 00:09:34,436 I have to express my feelings. I also don't want to lose you. 146 00:09:34,436 --> 00:09:36,216 You're very important to me and my father. 147 00:09:36,216 --> 00:09:38,476 That's why my solution is best. 148 00:09:38,476 --> 00:09:42,156 I'll still be here during the day to take care of your father 149 00:09:42,156 --> 00:09:45,811 but nights and weekends I'll just go home to my own place. 150 00:09:45,811 --> 00:09:51,677 On top of which you can turn this room back into your beautiful study you used to have. 151 00:09:51,677 --> 00:09:53,816 Well ?I suppose, what other choice do we have? 152 00:09:53,816 --> 00:09:57,534 Of course it'll be a period of adjustment for all of us... 153 00:09:57,534 --> 00:10:03,729 ...I know how much you two care about me and consider me part of the family but... 154 00:10:03,729 --> 00:10:07,156 You're picturing your study right now, aren't you? 155 00:10:07,156 --> 00:10:09,916 Well, you made me! 156 00:10:13,485 --> 00:10:16,851 She's such a groovy lady! 157 00:10:16,851 --> 00:10:17,621 Morning, Dad. 158 00:10:17,621 --> 00:10:20,270 Oh, morning. 159 00:10:20,270 --> 00:10:21,277 You seen the phone? 160 00:10:21,277 --> 00:10:23,790 Oh, I probably left it in my room again. Sorry. 161 00:10:23,790 --> 00:10:25,710 Hey, I'm making breakfast Burritos. You want one? 162 00:10:25,710 --> 00:10:28,086 I'll passo! 163 00:10:28,624 --> 00:10:31,187 Suit yourself. 164 00:10:38,650 --> 00:10:41,750 Dad. Whatever happened to the silk pajamas I bought you? 165 00:10:41,750 --> 00:10:44,634 Oh, Frasier, they're too la-dee-da for me. 166 00:10:44,634 --> 00:10:50,405 Besides, they shrank! 167 00:10:50,405 --> 00:10:55,220 Whoa ?there go my tater-tots. You want a pile? 168 00:10:55,220 --> 00:11:01,801 Not that I don't enjoy a "pile" of breakfast as much as the next guy but I still think no. 169 00:11:01,801 --> 00:11:05,665 Dad, are you planning on going around like that all weekend? 170 00:11:05,665 --> 00:11:09,485 Yeah, why not? Daphne's off on her little trip. It's just us guys. 171 00:11:09,485 --> 00:11:14,002 Besides I've been wearing pants round here for three years. Enough! 172 00:11:14,002 --> 00:11:17,709 I see. Look Dad, I just have to do this 173 00:11:17,709 --> 00:11:19,237 Thank you All right. 174 00:11:19,237 --> 00:11:24,218 Now, listen. It's no big deal but I couldn't find the remote control for the TV last night. 175 00:11:24,218 --> 00:11:29,647 Now I thought we agreed that its place was on that table next to my chair. 176 00:11:29,647 --> 00:11:33,200 What was it like in the old days when you actually had to get up to change the channel? 177 00:11:33,200 --> 00:11:35,634 It was hell! 178 00:11:38,016 --> 00:11:39,633 You expecting someone? 179 00:11:39,633 --> 00:11:43,708 The contractor. I'm getting an estimate on restoring my study. 180 00:11:43,708 --> 00:11:45,304 Why don't you use Joe? 181 00:11:45,304 --> 00:11:49,457 I think Joe's done enough work in that room, thank you! 182 00:11:50,184 --> 00:11:52,283 Henry. Thank you for coming on such short notice. 183 00:11:52,283 --> 00:11:52,917 No sweat. 184 00:11:52,917 --> 00:11:55,931 I'll just show you the room. 185 00:11:55,931 --> 00:11:59,624 Oh, this is my father. Don't get up! 186 00:11:59,624 --> 00:12:00,799 Like a cup of coffee? 187 00:12:00,799 --> 00:12:01,542 That'd be great. 188 00:12:01,542 --> 00:12:05,642 Fine. Look, the room is right down the hall there to the right. I'll meet you there. 189 00:12:05,642 --> 00:12:07,110 OK. 190 00:12:08,953 --> 00:12:13,788 Oh, Dad. This is a small thing but you left the sponge in the sink again. 191 00:12:13,788 --> 00:12:14,921 So? 192 00:12:14,921 --> 00:12:21,832 Well, as I mentioned last evening, if it stays wet, not only does it begin to smell but it becomes a breeding ground for bacteria. 193 00:12:21,832 --> 00:12:23,150 So? 194 00:12:23,150 --> 00:12:33,004 So. If I were to say wipe up that salsa that you spilled on the table just now I would be leaving behind bacteria such as salmonella, lysteria, flagella. 195 00:12:33,004 --> 00:12:34,398 Now wouldn't that bother you? 196 00:12:34,398 --> 00:12:36,680 Yeah, I guess you're right ?it would bother me. 197 00:12:36,680 --> 00:12:41,032 I wouldn't dream of touching that sponge now! 198 00:12:47,455 --> 00:12:54,401 Ah, yes. Our own foul-breathed little handy wet! 199 00:12:56,566 --> 00:13:00,077 HE CRIED WITH HIS BOOTS ON 200 00:13:08,914 --> 00:13:12,984 You've been leaving lights on in the apartment all weekend. You know what that does to the electric bill? 201 00:13:12,984 --> 00:13:19,321 Suppose there's a nuclear power plant they had to build to keep that television on day and night? 202 00:13:19,321 --> 00:13:21,382 You moved my chair again, didn't you? 203 00:13:21,382 --> 00:13:22,044 No! 204 00:13:22,044 --> 00:13:23,695 Oh well, maybe Eddie did it. 205 00:13:23,695 --> 00:13:25,660 Eddie, you move my chair? 206 00:13:25,660 --> 00:13:28,738 'Cause Frasier said he didn't do it and Frasier never messes around with my stuff. 207 00:13:28,738 --> 00:13:31,186 All right, I moved your damn chair. 208 00:13:31,186 --> 00:13:33,601 The way you have it turned ruins the symmetry of the room. 209 00:13:33,601 --> 00:13:35,657 The sight line loses all flow. 210 00:13:35,657 --> 00:13:40,975 Oh, the sight line. And here I thought it was for some dumb reason. 211 00:13:42,598 --> 00:13:48,908 Would you get Eddie off of the couch, or else it's down through the garbage chute for the thrill ride of his life! 212 00:14:00,363 --> 00:14:02,821 Well, howdy partner. 213 00:14:02,821 --> 00:14:04,498 Save your snippy remarks. 214 00:14:04,498 --> 00:14:13,150 Fair enough. Say, am I crazy or is there a bright golden haze on the meadow? 215 00:14:13,150 --> 00:14:16,293 Stop it. I'm in the middle of a social crisis. 216 00:14:16,293 --> 00:14:22,261 I just drove to the ho-down for the homeless assuming that Maris had simply neglected to forward my invitation. 217 00:14:22,261 --> 00:14:31,928 Well, not only was I not on the guest list but Nelson, the parking attendant, said he missed me at "The Luau for Lupus." 218 00:14:31,928 --> 00:14:34,446 Now it is official. I'm a social outcast. 219 00:14:34,446 --> 00:14:36,494 Oh Niles, why do you even care about those people? 220 00:14:36,494 --> 00:14:40,493 In your hour of need they pretend you don't even exist. 221 00:14:40,493 --> 00:14:43,460 They treat you like you're a leper, a non-person. 222 00:14:43,460 --> 00:14:46,402 But I really, really like them. 223 00:14:46,402 --> 00:14:48,762 I know, I know ?it makes me sound pathetic. But 224 00:14:48,762 --> 00:14:52,825 I'm newly separated. These people have been my social circle for ten years. 225 00:14:52,825 --> 00:14:56,171 Frasier ?they're my tribe. 226 00:14:56,171 --> 00:15:05,584 Well, I hate to break this to you, "Waltzes With Snobs," but 227 00:15:05,584 --> 00:15:08,993 they have left you on the mountaintop to die! 228 00:15:08,993 --> 00:15:15,577 Now Niles, maybe your friends wanted to invite you but they probably thought you'd be upset seeing Maris there. 229 00:15:15,577 --> 00:15:18,522 Of course. You're absolutely right. 230 00:15:18,522 --> 00:15:19,706 Oh, that's ridiculous. 231 00:15:19,706 --> 00:15:22,010 Oh, why are you so negative? These people do care about me. 232 00:15:22,010 --> 00:15:24,621 Oh fine, very well. Why don't you just call them? Prove to me I'm wrong. 233 00:15:24,621 --> 00:15:26,602 Nothing would give me greater pleasure. Where's your phone? 234 00:15:26,602 --> 00:15:27,771 It's in my bedroom. 235 00:15:27,771 --> 00:15:31,002 Where else would it be? And Dad's electric shaver is in the kitchen. 236 00:15:31,002 --> 00:15:35,891 You see, all our appliances are on an adventure this weekend. 237 00:15:40,557 --> 00:15:42,731 Well, are you proud of yourself, stirring things up? 238 00:15:42,731 --> 00:15:45,415 Why didn't you just let him think his friends were doing him a favour? 239 00:15:45,415 --> 00:15:49,912 Ah, yes. The Martin Crane approach. Better living through denial! 240 00:15:49,912 --> 00:15:53,877 You did the same thing with Daphne. You couldn't just pretend that nothing was going on back there. 241 00:15:53,877 --> 00:15:58,005 Dad, I'm a psychiatrist. I don't pretend. I confront. I resolve. 242 00:15:58,005 --> 00:16:00,443 Oh yeah, you really resolved this. Now she's moving out. 243 00:16:00,443 --> 00:16:02,958 You know, I swear you just go looking for trouble. 244 00:16:02,958 --> 00:16:05,736 Oh, that is so untrue. 245 00:16:05,736 --> 00:16:10,329 AND PERHAPS YOU CAN EXPLAIN THIS!!! 246 00:16:11,412 --> 00:16:15,825 A grown man's obsession with a sponge? No, I can't! 247 00:16:15,825 --> 00:16:19,620 For the last two days I've asked you again and again as politely as I can to wring out the sponge. 248 00:16:19,620 --> 00:16:22,068 But you don't even have the consideration to respect my feelings. 249 00:16:22,068 --> 00:16:23,429 Because your feelings are stupid! 250 00:16:23,429 --> 00:16:26,621 But they're my feelings! And important to me! 251 00:16:26,621 --> 00:16:29,151 And because of that you should have the courtesy to respect them. 252 00:16:29,151 --> 00:16:32,251 Just like you respect my feelings when I asked you not to move my chair. 253 00:16:32,251 --> 00:16:33,735 Oh, that makes no sense at all. 254 00:16:33,735 --> 00:16:39,278 Oh, all right. You want me to dry that sponge? 'll dry that sponge! 255 00:16:41,840 --> 00:16:44,719 Give it about a minute. Oh, that's mature. 256 00:16:44,719 --> 00:16:48,245 Oh, boy ?you know what a tortured little world you live in? 257 00:16:48,245 --> 00:16:52,354 Newspapers strewn all over the place. Sponge germs coming after you. 258 00:16:52,354 --> 00:16:53,960 It's a wonder you can sleep at night! 259 00:16:53,960 --> 00:16:56,423 Oh, my dreams get me by. 260 00:16:56,423 --> 00:17:01,663 Like the one where I strap you in your chair and run around the house turning on all the lights... 261 00:17:01,663 --> 00:17:08,689 ...even in the rooms I'm nowhere near. Boy, that electric meter must really be spinning now! 262 00:17:09,823 --> 00:17:12,896 Evening, all. Did you boys have a nice weekend? 263 00:17:12,896 --> 00:17:14,327 Barrel of laughs! 264 00:17:14,327 --> 00:17:16,735 Well, I had the loveliest time. 265 00:17:16,735 --> 00:17:19,033 Hey ?Off! 266 00:17:19,033 --> 00:17:22,998 We found this little bed-and-breakfast right up the coast. 267 00:17:22,998 --> 00:17:25,233 I talked my decision over with Joe, 268 00:17:25,233 --> 00:17:28,826 and he agreed it really is the best thing for everyone. 269 00:17:28,826 --> 00:17:33,453 Of course I'll still be here during the day to help your father with his exercises. 270 00:17:33,453 --> 00:17:40,222 But nights and weekends it'll just be you two carefree bachelors getting into trouble together. 271 00:17:40,222 --> 00:17:43,503 I'm usually just underfoot around here anyway. 272 00:17:43,503 --> 00:17:48,946 So you see, my decision is best for everyone. 273 00:17:48,946 --> 00:17:53,755 Well, I've had a long weekend, so good night. 274 00:17:54,413 --> 00:17:56,603 Night, Daphne. 275 00:17:59,868 --> 00:18:01,631 Frasier. 276 00:18:01,631 --> 00:18:03,233 What? 277 00:18:03,233 --> 00:18:09,220 You know how an Oreo has that soft creamy filling between two hard cookies? 278 00:18:09,220 --> 00:18:13,246 That's what keeps them together? 279 00:18:13,246 --> 00:18:15,199 See your point, Dad. 280 00:18:15,199 --> 00:18:17,524 Daphne's kind of the centre. 281 00:18:17,524 --> 00:18:19,223 I'll go and talk to her. 282 00:18:19,223 --> 00:18:23,870 Now, you and me, we'd be the cookie part. 283 00:18:23,870 --> 00:18:26,618 I get it! 284 00:18:33,645 --> 00:18:35,171 May I come in? 285 00:18:35,171 --> 00:18:37,830 Yes, of course. Thank you, Daphne. 286 00:18:40,075 --> 00:18:43,698 Daphne... er... you can't go. You have to stay. 287 00:18:43,698 --> 00:18:46,612 I've only just recently realised how important you are to us. 288 00:18:46,612 --> 00:18:50,577 You see, if you go, Dad and I will kill each other. 289 00:18:50,577 --> 00:18:53,576 I'm not just tossing out hyperbole here. I'm speaking in the most literal sense. 290 00:18:53,576 --> 00:18:55,534 Dad and I ?both dead! 291 00:18:55,534 --> 00:19:03,082 Only he'll be lying there with a bacteria-ridden sponge protruding from his mouth like a bloated tongue. 292 00:19:03,082 --> 00:19:06,052 You don't really want that on your conscience, do you? 293 00:19:06,052 --> 00:19:11,930 No, of course not. Truth is, I do still think of this place as my home. 294 00:19:11,930 --> 00:19:14,959 But I know you'd never be comfortable knowing Joe and I were... 295 00:19:14,959 --> 00:19:18,009 I'd be willing to try. 296 00:19:18,009 --> 00:19:22,319 I know you better than that. It'll bother you and we'll both be miserable. 297 00:19:22,319 --> 00:19:25,333 Why can't I get past this? 298 00:19:25,333 --> 00:19:31,053 Oh, it'd just be easier if I could be like my father pretending you weren't in here making love. 299 00:19:31,053 --> 00:19:34,641 Making love? Is that what you think we were doing? 300 00:19:34,641 --> 00:19:36,651 Yes, of course. 301 00:19:36,651 --> 00:19:40,581 Oh no. There was nothing like that going on in here. 302 00:19:40,581 --> 00:19:43,569 Really? 303 00:19:43,569 --> 00:19:51,775 Seems rather implausible. I'd like to believe that and believe me I really do want to... er... 304 00:19:51,775 --> 00:19:53,592 how can I? 305 00:19:53,592 --> 00:20:01,774 Well, how could Joe and I make love? What with... er... Joe's war injury? 306 00:20:01,774 --> 00:20:04,550 I didn't even know Joe was a soldier. What war would that be? 307 00:20:04,550 --> 00:20:06,895 The Falkland Islands. 308 00:20:06,895 --> 00:20:08,538 But that was a British conflict and Joe's not... 309 00:20:08,538 --> 00:20:13,615 His parents have a summerhouse there! 310 00:20:13,615 --> 00:20:16,121 Oh, that's very unfortunate. 311 00:20:16,121 --> 00:20:20,787 Having a summerhouse in a war zone. But how-? 312 00:20:20,787 --> 00:20:23,079 He was kicked by a sheep. 313 00:20:23,079 --> 00:20:23,811 A sheep? 314 00:20:23,811 --> 00:20:27,718 Yes, a sheep ?spooked by an air raid siren. Work with me. 315 00:20:27,718 --> 00:20:32,929 Oh, I see. So, what you're saying is that Joe... 316 00:20:32,929 --> 00:20:34,752 Can't. 317 00:20:34,752 --> 00:20:37,238 Ah. 318 00:20:37,238 --> 00:20:38,652 Well, I suppose that changes everything. 319 00:20:38,652 --> 00:20:41,481 Ys, I suppose it does. 320 00:20:41,481 --> 00:20:46,888 But just so as we're clear - even though there's no actual lovemaking, 321 00:20:46,888 --> 00:20:53,667 Joe and I can on occasion, say, read poems to each other in here at night? 322 00:20:53,667 --> 00:20:57,614 As long as you don't read too loudly. 323 00:21:03,311 --> 00:21:05,626 She's staying. 324 00:21:05,626 --> 00:21:13,049 Turns out they're sleeping together but not having sex. 325 00:21:13,049 --> 00:21:26,177 See, they can't have sex because of an injury Joe suffered when kicked by a spooked sheep during an air raid while his family were vacationing in the Falkland Islands during the war. 326 00:21:26,177 --> 00:21:28,966 Well, Dad was right. They are my real friends. 327 00:21:28,966 --> 00:21:31,561 It was all just a misunderstanding. 328 00:21:31,561 --> 00:21:36,243 Apparently the social chairman's dog ate my invitation. 329 00:21:36,243 --> 00:21:40,503 And the poor animal had to go to the vet and with all the confusion they forgot to send me another, and 330 00:21:40,503 --> 00:21:49,469 when I offered my new address for next year's party, they said, "no need ?we'll see you around." 331 00:21:49,469 --> 00:21:56,336 I'm going to start wearing sweat pants. That damned drier again. 332 00:21:56,336 --> 00:21:58,565 Hey, you guys want some cookies? They're reduced fat. 333 00:21:58,565 --> 00:22:02,910 Really? That means we can eat twice as many. 29363

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