All language subtitles for Animals S01E01 1080p Amazon WEBRip DD+ 5.1 x264-TrollHD_track2_und

(sirens and traffic noise)

(grunting and moaning)

Huh.

Huh.

This is hard to watch.

It's really...
I'll be-- I'll be honest.

It actually looks
like work for her,

specifically.
Yeah. Yeah.

I thought the same thing.

He is just...
Ugh.

I don't even know
where to begin with him.

Well, first off,
he's a huge man.

He's the biggest man
I've ever seen, probably.

And she is-- Hmm.

She's much smaller
than him.
Much smaller.

The disparity between
these two sizes
is frightening.

Frightening.

So, are you ready
for the party tonight?

Yeah. Yeah.
Huh?

Come on.
Yeah. I'm ready.

You never get out
of your house.

I'm psyched for the p--
What do you want from me,
a cartwheel?

No, I just think...
I got tiny arms.

You owe it to yourself
to get out and do some
social things,

so I'm just happy
you're coming out.

I'm happy that you're
happy that I'm here.

Good.

Okay, see, this is new.

Is she lowering herself...
Yeah.

onto his face?

She seems to be taking
a seat on his face.

Which is...
Well, it's so weird,

'cause I've seen humans
sit on things.

Normally, it's stuff like,

like the subway
or something.
Like the subway, yeah.

I mean, like...
Or like, chairs.

Benches. Seats.
Benches, yeah.

Yeah, seats.
Seats in general.
Just seats.

I've never seen someone
seat on a face.

I mean, it looks--
I don't know.

Eh, that's kinda...

What?
No, nothing.
It's fine.

Uh, what are you bringing
to the party, by the way?

Oh, um, I'm just--
I found a cracker over there.

I thought I'd--
Oh.

You know, just something,
like, everyone could
kinda share.

Yeah.
What about you?

Are you bringing anything?
Oh, I'm bringing these guys.

What are those?

They-- Paper plates.

It's, um...
Hmm.

Why do you have to make
me feel weird about
bringing plates?

You know I'm already...
I'm not making you feel weird.

...apprehensive about
going to the party.

Paper plates are great!

It's a utilitarian move.
Utilitarian move.

(woman moaning, man grunting)
Nobody ever thanks
the plate guy.

Nobody thanks
the plate guy!

I always say that.

(sighs)

Shit.

(body thuds)
(moaning, grunting stops)

Is she--
She's not--

Oh, she's not moving.
Yeah, no.

Hmm.
Hmm.

I guess she's, uh,
tuckered out.

Yeah.
Oh, we should actually
probably be quiet,

Oh, yeah. Right.
'cause she's probably
trying to sleep.

You wanna get out of here?
Yeah, let's go.

Cool.
Follow me.

(punk rock song playing)

♪ All of the animals ♪

♪ Out of your front door ♪

(sirens wailing)

Oh, see, man, this is what
I'm talking about.

Already I'm not feeling it.

It's organized fun, basically.

Yeah. Uh-huh.
It's like, you sit over there,

then you get food over there
by the punch bowls
Yeah.

and the snacks,

and over here you dance.
Right.

It's like-- I don't want
to deal with this all night.

I can't--
Okay, you're thinking
way too much.

Just calm down,

All right.
and just try
to enjoy yourself.

All right.
Not a big deal.

Promise me you're
gonna stick with me?

Like, don't leave me
hanging high and dry.

Okay, yes. All right.
All right.

Oh, shit! Now this
party's starting!

Mike's here!

(laughing)
Here he is.

The king.
Oh, yeah.

What is up, Fink?

Mike, I am thrilled
to see you.

What's up, Fink?
Hey, Phil.

I mean, this party is gonna
be off the chain.

Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm.

I've got-- DJ Lab Rat's
gonna spin.

We've got games planned.

It's gonna be, like,
super organized, super fun.

Mmm. Phil loves
organized fun.

Really?
It's right up my alley.

You know, we actually brought
some stuff, too.

I totally forgot.
I brought a cracker
for everybody.

I just thought I--
Are you fucking
kidding me, right now?

It's not a big deal, it's--
No, no, no.

Do not downplay this, Mike.

This is a huge deal.

Guys, Mike brought
a cracker!

(cheering)

Rat:
You da man, Mike!

We're gonna eat
like kings, tonight.

Thank you, so much.

Hey, Fink,
Thank you, so much.

I br-- I brought
paper plates.

What is that?
Paper plates?

Why?

To pu--
put the food on...

so people don't have
to eat off the floor.

So, what are we thinking?
We got some ladies
here tonight?

Oh, bro, are you ready
to make babies?

This guy is like,
the king of making babies.

You are, Fink.
Oh...

I'm telling you.
He is.
It's true, though.

You know, what,
thank you, man. Dude,
I had twins last week.

Oh, my God.
Oh, snap.

They were born, like,
a second apart.

Their mom was fertile
as shit.

Ah, that's--
You're the king.

(coughs)
I kid you not,
last weekend,

made babies with the chick
from the six train.

What?
Yeah.

Northbound or southbound?
Southbound.

Oh, shit!

(laughing)

Oh, yeah, no, totally,
I remember when I was making
babies, um...

The other day I was
upstate, right?

And, um--
Where?

Syracuse.

Like, in the Syracuse region.
Wow. How'd you get up there?

That's like, real far.

Like, a train,
or whatever. That's not
really the important part--

You got on a train?
Yeah.

That's not, like,
the Amtrak line.

How did you--
Yeah, no, it's fine.

Did you get on
a Metro North train?

It doesn't matter
how I got there,

but I got there
and I met a chick,

and then I made like...

th... f... six.

I had six babies at once.

Me and her.

And we--
They just came out. (whistles)

It was like, you thought
they were done,
but it was just...

more and more, like--

Okay, so real quick,
so you got on a train,

and you went upstate,
Oh my God,
the train thing again.

Let's just drop it.
to Syracuse.

Well, see,
that's where it starts
to fall apart.

Uh-huh.
The part where they all
arrive at once.

What are we talking
about falling apart?
We're just--

I didn't poke holes
in your guys' stories.

Phillip, have you not
made babies before?

What?
Oh, Phil has 100%
not made babies.

All right, okay, so what?
Big whoop.

I have never
made babies before.
Oh, shit.

All right,
you guys figure this out.

I'm gonna go jerk
my dong off,

so that I can last longer
when I'm ready to make babies

with every woman
at this party.

Don't worry, I'll leave
one for you, Phil.

That's great.

That guy's
a fucking asshole.

Oh, he's not bad.

No, this is terrible.

Dude, don't worry,
you're my best friend,

and I'm gonna make you
a father tonight.

All right. That--
That sounds good.
Thank you.

♪ ♪

(sirens wailing)

You, uh--
you hear about Greg?

What?

Greg made it up
to the horse racing majors.

Shut up.
No shit.

Thoroughbred racing,
that guy?

I'm not a guy to say he didn't
deserve it, but he doesn't
deserve it.

No. We're faster
runners than him.

If you and I were there,
we'd be blowing him
in the dust.

I had a shot. There was some
guys sniffing around
a few years ago.

I saw that.
I remember that.

I remember,
and you were good.

Thank you. I just wanted--
I guess I like the 9-5.

You know,
I like the regular...

I am with you.

Do the job, retire.

And our day
is never the same.

Like, one day you'll be
sitting outside
a domestic dispute,

the other day you're down
on Wall Street stepping
on some hippies.

Hey, and another day,
guess what? We get the benefit
of the whole thing,

we still get to do parades.

I love parade duty.
I love parades.

I'll take that over
running around
a mile-and-a-quarter track.

And now there are
so many more parades.

The gay pride parade,

the St. Patty's day.
St. Patty's,

Love that one.
Fourth of July parade,

Puerto Rican pride.

Hey, look, if the Yankees,
Rangers, or the Knicks win...

You know what we'll
never do? A Mets parade.

No, they will never--
They're terrible this year.

No, no, no, my, uh,
my father's father was in
the '86 Mets parade.

Was he?
They tried to get him
to do blow.

Who, Gooden?
Gooden.

Really?
Yeah, he tried to give
my father's friend blow.

Not even horse tranquilizer.
No.

They were just--
Anything that could sniff,

Yeah.
they were shoving
coke up it.

But Greg's gonna miss out
on all that.

I'll blow my brains out
if Greg gets super famous.

I'm not kidding.
Ugh.

I will blow my brains out.

I'll hold the gun
and I'll turn it on myself.

Please.
I will do that.

Let's make a suicide
pact right now.
Really. Oh, my God.

All right, man, look.
Yeah.

Making babies
really isn't that hard.

Okay.
All you have to do
is just be yourself.

That's it?
Yeah.

That's not really
instructions or anything.
You told me you--

You want me to give you
a step-by-step...

I-- No. Nah, that's not...

Here. Watch this, okay?

I will show you
by doing.

Okay, he's walking over,

talking to her.
Yeah, okay, cool.

"Hey, what's up?
My name's Mike.

"Do you wanna
make babies with me?

"Maybe we'll go
in the bathroom, and then--"

Uh, okay, and they're
actually in the bathroom.

Oh, that's great.

Hey, man,
who are you talking to?

No one.
Hey, Fink,
what's happening, man?

You okay, man?

Yeah.
You look sweaty
and nervous.

I'll be honest with you,
I'm a little anxious,
I guess.

Yeah, 'cause you've never
made babies before?

No, okay, just stop
reiterating that.

We don't need
to have everyone hear.

Oh, everybody knows.
I've been telling everybody.

Really?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Ever since I found out,
this is the best piece
of information.

I'm using it as a currency
to curry favor with everybody.

I'm glad it's working
in the benefit of someone.

Oh, no, it's working
great for me.
Oh, good.

All right,
here's the deal.

I'm gonna make this
a little easier for you.

Yeah, what are you--
Take one of these.

What is that?
What, don't ask what it is,
okay? It's a blue pill.

Where'd you get it from?
I found it.

I found a whole
bunch of blue pills
on the ground, okay?

Okay...
I've been taking
them all night,

they've been making me
rock hard and ready to go.

You know what,
I actually don't need drugs.

I'm just gonna follow
the info that Mike gave me.

Okay, which is what?

Uh, being-- be--
Just gonna be myself.

That's great advice...
Yeah.

if you don't want
to make babies tonight.

No, I--
'Cause you've been
yourself for your whole life,

and you've never
made babies.

So, why would that
stop working now?

Because Mike said it,
and now I'm gonna use it,

and it's like
a gusto sort of thing.

Yeah, I'm fine,
okay, Fink?

Fine. I'm out.

(mutters) Fuck me.

Phil, Phil, look at this.

Oh, my God.

Come here, look at this, huh?
Jesus Christ!

Look at this!
You just made that
in the bathroom?

This is my daughter Rebecca.

You're a father.

You know, when you see
them smile...

Oh, your voice
is different, too.

it really connects your place
in the universe in a way

What happened to you?
you tend to remember,
you know? It grounds you.

This is terrible.

Oh, she's looking
at you. Look at this.

Hi, baby.

Mommy.
No!

Aww, her first words!
No, no, no, no!

That's not-- That's not me.
Aww, she called you Mommy.

I don't think
that's what she said.

I actually...
Oh, that's right,
he is a little mommy.

I'm not a mo--
You know what?
I'm gonna go.

(music playing)
DJ Lab Rat.

DJ.
Lab Rat.

Lab Rat.

How's everyone doing?
Crowd check in.

Just so everyone knows,
I do accept tips.

Throw a few pennies
in that tip jar, everyone.

And pennies is obviously
a metaphor for dollar bills.

All right.

Who likes Avril Lavigne?

(music resumes)

Hey, what's happening, man,
how's it going?
Hey.

Good. Good, yeah.
Good, yeah, awesome.

Totally.

(clears throat)

How's this party for you?

Oh, it's fun, yeah.
Yeah?

I got a couple
friends here, so...
Totally.

That's great.
Yeah, we're having
a good time, hanging out.

Yeah.
Yeah, are you
having fun?

Uh... Not really,

actually. Um...
Oh.

Just generally,
I like being alone

more than, like,
with a group of people
and stuff like that.

Like, I'd rather be like,
basically, like, at my house,

but not like
Son of Sam,
or anything like that.

Uh-huh.
I'm not like a weirdo.

I'm not gonna stay up
all night and just, like,
by myself

just sort of like,
strangling myself.
Just like, I'm not, like,

nuts.

I'm not nuts.

Right.

Um... Yeah.
I'm sorry.

That's stupid.
No, that's okay.

I understand parties
can be overwhelming.

It's tough, you know?
Yeah.

Um, you know what?
I actually-- I see a friend
of mine over there,

so I think I'm gonna
go chat with her.

Oh, cool, yeah,
I'll join you guys.

Uh, I think we're probably
gonna go to the bathroom.

Oh, my God.
This is really happening.

It's as quick
as Mike said it would be.

Uh, all right, I'm down.

I'll watch
you two first,

and then, you know,
whenever I feel ready,
I'll warm myself up,

and then I'll just
join in with you.

It'll be great.
(shocked) What?

I figured we were going
to the bathroom together--

Oh, my God!
Okay...

I want everyone
at this party,
That's fine.

everyone!
No, no, no.

This guy
Don't make an announcement.
That's fine.

is a pervert!
No, I'm not.

He is a sick,
disgusting deviant!
No, no, I--

It's fine, I didn't mean--
He wants to stand and watch
us go to the bathroom

and stroke himself
like a fucking maniac!
No.

Please, stop this.
He's the reason
I started hating men,

Please, stop
yelling at me.
And now,

I loathe this guy!
Stay away from him.

Yeah, totally, that guy
is a pervert. He's so gross.

I saved her
from the pervert,

so I don't know who
she's talking about
exactly. It's not me.

Nice.

Look at you with
the fingerpainting.
You are a natural.

My daughter's
a natural at this.

I am drawing the trash.

Aww, our trash.

(chuckling)
It's our trash.

Is that your daughter?

Oh, yeah, yeah.
That's Rebecca.

She's my--
She's my little one. Yeah.

You have a way
with children.

You should have more,
don't you think?

Uh... (nervous laughter)

That's-- I-- I see--
I see what you're doing.

I saw you across
the room and I just...

Well, I was wondering
if you'd like to go into
the bathroom and make babies.

Oh, my God.

Is it getting hot in here?

Ha. I just--

Um, look, I--
You're very beautiful.

You know, I think right now
I'm just sort of
in the head space

of concentrating on
my little Rebecca,
you know? So...

Well, please know
at any point,

if you'd like
to come visit me,
I'll be in the bathroom

getting my downstairs ready
if you change your mind.

Your downstairs ready?

That's a ref...

That's like, a play
on words thing
you're doing, right?

Yes. Yes, it is.

Sorry, I'm a little unclear
on entendres sometimes.

Well, let's get
you really clear.

Let's get you
really, really clear.

The clear part
is another entendre?
Yes.

Got it.
Mm-hmm.

That one's
a little unclear.
Yeah. Yes.

That entendre was
a little unclear.
I realize that now

after I said it.

I came on him, and uh...

it was too late.

You know?
Aww.

The trap had already sprung.

Oh, no!
Oh, my gosh.

His neck was snapped.

There was blood coming
out of his ears and his mouth.

That's horrible.
That's awful.

He was my brother, you know?

I was supposed
to look after him.

Yes.
Yeah.

But he was dead.

I mean, don't get me wrong,
I ate the cheese.

Well, you can't pass up
the cheese.
Well, you have to.

You can't pass up the---
You guys get it.

Yeah.
Totally.

But, you know, that loss,

I feel like there's a hole
in my heart that I don't know
if I'll ever fill again.

You're damaged.
Oh, yeah.

Yeah.
Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah.

Like, the back. It's lumbar.
That's the word
I was looking for.

Lumbar. I couldn't
think for a second.

Could you just hold
my hand for a minute?

Uh, yeah.

Thank you.
All right, yeah, yeah.

Thank you so much.
That's great.

This is--
Okay, that helps.

That's good.
Yeah, tot--

Uh, okay. You have
something coming out of
Okay.

what looks like
your butt.

Ah!
Oh, that's a little head.

Oh, it's coming!
That's just a little head
coming out of your butt.

You're making babies.
I'm putting it together.

Pull it out of me!
Okay.

(straining)

Ugh!

Oh, my God, we did it.

Yeah, we did it.
We did it.

We did do it.
We did it!

Oh, my God.
You are amazing!

You're the amazing one.

Who are you?

Just a... Just a guy.

Oh, my God! Sweetheart,
give me a kiss!
Who's this guy?

You look beautiful!
And look at my little--

I'm so happy
that you're here!
What's happening?

(kissing)

I love you.
This is really
a good moment.

Thank you, nurse, really.

Uh, actually,
I'm not a nurse. Uh...

You're right.
You're a hero.

You're a hero.

I was just called
a pervert a second ago.

The Weinsteins
are indebted to you.
Yes.

You guys are married,
so this is a...

Oh, yes, this is
my husband.
Yeah, this is a family.

Great.
Yeah.

That is great
to meet you.
Yeah. Georgie.

I'm Phil,
by the way.
Hey, Phil.

This is great.
How you doing?

Well, you guys
have a great night.

This is a great family.

One more and you got
a basketball team.

(laughing)
Absolutely.

You're a good man, Phil.
Thanks, George.

Oh, yeah.
I got shit to do.

Dad, I'm hungry.

All right,
all right, honey.

We got some steak
and eggs for you right here.

What? Dad!
I am a vegetarian!

Hey, Mike?
I can't...

I told you this.
keep track of
all these phases.

Mike? Hey, Mike?
Phil.

Hey, how's it
going, dude?
Hi.

Listen, I've been following
what you were saying,
Uh-huh?

and it's not really working
out exactly how I planned.
Okay.

I think maybe if I introduced
some sort of music element--

Yeah. Phil, listen,
I'm sorry, man.

I just need your help.
I just need your help!
I'm so, sorry, dude.

I just need your help.
I can't really do this
right now, okay?

Okay, but you told me
to just be myself
and I'm being myself--

Well, Phil,
maybe yourself
isn't that good.

Maybe you're not that good.

I don't know.
What do you want me to say?
I don't have all the answers.

Jesus!
You know what?

You're a real fucking
piece of work, you know that?
Okay, Phil.

You have one fucking kid

and you just leave me
high and dry.

You said you wouldn't
leave me!

(smoke alarm beeping)
You're still cooking
a steak, Dad.

I don't know how many times
I need to tell you
This looks like a lot of fun.

I don't eat this shit.
I'm getting
the fuck out of here.

Yeah, well, just go.

Rebecca, did I hear you curse?

♪ Oh, Franklin the flirt ♪

♪ I understand the hurt ♪

♪ That you would speak about ♪

♪ Before you had me
all figured out ♪

Yeah. (hiccups)

Fink, Fink, hey, man.

Hey, dude,
how's it going?

(coughing) Great.

Really?
Yeah.

You don't look like
you're doing that good.

Nah, I'm doing
great, actually.

I'm just a little wiped out.

I just made babies
with all five of those
girls over there.

(coughing)
Wow. Speaking of which,
why I came over here.

I'm actually looking for
one of those blue pills
you had earlier.

Ugh.
You know, one of those that
make you relaxed, confident.

Make girls like you,
your dad respect you,
and all that type of stuff.

Uh, yeah, I got a blue pill,
but it doesn't do any of that
stuff that you just said.

Well, hey, regardless,
I just want, you know,

the thing that
you had earlier.

You sure?
Yeah.

Yeah, give it
to me, man.

All right, have fun.

(sighs) All right.

You nervous?
No, I'm not nervous.

(coughing)
I'm totally cool about it.

Don't be nervous.
Bro, look at me.

Look at me, br--
(coughs)

Look at me, bro.
Yeah.

This is how awesome
you could look

Yeah.
in like, an hour.

Yeah, that's a good point.

Take the pill
and then come find me

because we're gonna
be looking great.

(laughing)
That's right, man.

Me and Fink hanging out.

(coughing)
No Mike. Yeah.

Totally.

Oh, too much pussy.

Here we go, Phil.

Gulp.

(gun cocks, shoots)
(screaming)

Lab Rat!

What is up, party people?

Like to just throw a shout out
to Jarrod for lending me
that XLR cable.

It's really working out great.

So, thanks to Jarrod.
This one's for you.

(electronic music plays)

All right.

I actually think
it's kicking in.

Maybe I'll just
go ahead and--

Oh! Whoa!

Didn't know I had
that in me, did you?

Ah! Ooh, ah!

Philly is back
in it, bitch!

I'm sorry,
that was too much.

I'll reel it back
a little bit.

Chicka-chicka-chicka, pah-pah!

Oh, sorry.
Oh, my gosh.

That was weird,
I was just walking backwards
when I should have been...

Sorry,
walking forwards.

and I was doing
a twist thing,

which I never do.
Yeah, no.

It was actually
really good.

Oh, I shouldn't
have done it.

Yeah, how's it going?
How are you enjoying
the party?

Oh. You know,
it's a party.

Yeah, I know.
I don't know,

I feel like I've lived
my whole life at parties.

I know, I feel like
parties are just, like,

organized fun.

You know what, though?
I am so happy this party
has plates.

(angelic chorus)
Shut the fuck up.

Are you fucking serious?

I brought the plates!

You're the plate guy?

Yes, I brought the plates!

Oh, my God!
I know, it's such a rarity.

Like, I always say, like,

Nobody thanks the plate guy!
"Nobody thanks
the plate guy." Yeah.

Thanks, plate guy.

Whoa.

Okay, if you're having a baby,
I should let you know that
I'm not a certified nurse,

but I have just
done this before, so...

Oh, uh, no.

No.
Oh, you were just
holding my hand.

Yeah.
Oh.

I, uh...

I've never made babies.

I've actually
never made babies either.

You haven't?
No.

Oh, my gosh.
That's pretty amazing.

Two people who like
paper plates and also have
never had babies before.

Is-- Do you wanna...

I don't know. I just--

Do you want to go
into the bathroom with me
and make babies together?

(giggling)

Uh, yeah. I do.
Really? Great.

(laughing) Phil!

Hey, Mikey. What's up, man?
Hey, you finally
hit the dance floor.

Yeah, yeah.
Hit it hard, yeah.
It's about time. You did it.

Dude, I am sorry about before.

I'll be real about it.
No, it--

It's fine, dude.
Things got a little heated.
It's crazy.

It's funny you should
come over here, 'cause--

No, it's great
you're talking to Rebecca,
my daughter.

Remember? Rebecca?
Who's this?

Remember the baby?

The baby I had before.

Remember she--

Remember, I was
holding the baby?

Yoohoo? Phil?

Yeah, no, okay,
that's your daughter Rebecca

She called you "Mommy."
from earlier.

Mm-hmm.
I remember now. Yeah.

So, what were
you guys--

You guys are
hanging out?
Nothing.

No, no, no.

I just bumped into her.
I don't even know who she--

We were gonna go
make babies.

Why-- Why would you
say that right now?

♪ ♪

(murmuring)

Argh.

Well, holy shit,
this is incredible.

This is so nice.

Infinitely better
than the motel bed.

(laughing)
Yeah, a little bit.

I mean, look at
the space here!

And by the way,
we're living on the food.

On the food!
We don't have
to get food anymore.

It's right here.

Wait. Turn your head
for a second, please?

Turn it here?
What?

Is that an earring?

Oh. Yeah, that's a--
Yeah, I got an earring.

Okay. Um...

So, let's get to work!

I'm just curious
what you were thinking.

I'm expressing myself,
that's all.

Yeah, I just feel like,
you know,

that at our age, it's a little
strange to get an earring.

Lots of people get them.

Look, there was
the cologne phase for you,

and I didn't
say anything.
Ugh, listen--

Then there was
the Miatas.

That is a great car.
That was about mileage.

The earring is
a little awkward,
it's a little strange,

and I just wanna hear--

Okay, I got it
because I'm young!

Because I'm young!

Oh... Oh.
Okay. Oh, boy.

Here, let me--
Let me-- Let me, uh...

Here, you just
sit right here.

You just sit down.

(crying)
I just like the way it looks.

I like the way--
Okay, listen.

We haven't had
a chance to really talk
since the divorce.

Oh, it's-- No.

No.
And if you wanna...

I just...

I just get sad
sometimes, still.

Hey, hey, look, you know,
divorce is a tough thing.
Yeah.

Yeah.
And I just wanna
tell you,

I think you're handling
it super well.

You're making
good choices.

I mean, this earring
right here, right off
the bat,

I think it's pretty cool.

I feel like
you have a joke coming.

Nothing about-- did I buy
a bracelet to go with it,

or, uh, "Does it go
with a formal gown?"

Or, what else?
"Good thing my daddy's dead
or he'd be so mad."

I heard those
earlier today. Someone--

They also said
I looked like, um,
a Mexican baby.

That culture tends to pierce
the ears a lot younger.
Right away.

There, I'll admit,
that looks nuts.

Nothing like that? It's over.

We're done.
Okay.

Why don't we table
this discussion and have
a little lunch?

Yeah, yeah.

(sucking and slurping)

Oh!

(belches)
Oh, my gosh,
this is delicious.

His blood is so thick.

There's a sweet and salty
thing happening?

It's like, Asiany...

It's like--
It's a Hep B. Hep B.

God, I haven't tasted
that in so long.

Since South America.
Yeah.

Mm-mmm!

Are you kidding me?

What? He is
a great guy, Dad.

I'm pretty good.

He's my best friend!
Well, not anymore.

Ow!

Are you okay?
Yeah, I'm fine.

It's just, like,
I got a little stomachache
or something.

This is what
I want to do, Dad.
Accept me.

Yeah, well, I didn't know
that included being a hooch
that goes around...

A hooch!
She's not
a hooch, Mike.

selling her stuff!
She's not a hooch, Mike!

It's true!

This guy has
never made babies!

I think it's
a beautiful thing!

Okay, Rebecca, you actually
don't have to scream that.

Ugh! Urgh.

Fink, I'm clearly
in the middle of something.

I found the box for, uh...

(clears throat)

What?
From where that
pills came from.

What, yeah.
Okay, cool. Nice.

That's fun. I don't
need that. Thanks, dude.
Urgh.

It's not good, man!

These pills are not good!

It-- Urgh.
What?

(gagging)

Argh!

Okay.

Man, he is...

He's a little drunk.
Yeah.

Phil, did--
Did you eat any of these?

What is that?

It-- It's the box
Fink just had.

Oh, yeah. No, he gave me
one of those, it's like, one
of his blue pills or whatever.

His drugs.
I took some drugs.

Well, it says "poison."

What's that?

Pois-- It's rat poison.

You're gonna die.

What's that? What's die?
Like, the runny nose one?

No, that's a cold.
You're thinking of a cold.

Is die the--
Is die the forever one?

Yeah, dude.

But I never had any kids.

(sighs)

Well, maybe
there's still time.

♪ ♪

All right, everyone,
let's clear some space
to the side

so this dying rat
can get his sick rocks off.

Please, to the left
or the right.

You gotta move.

Rebecca...

a great man once told me
just to be yourself.

And for a while,
I didn't think that myself
was any good.

But then I met you,
and you made me
appreciate me.

I love you.

I love you.

Wait, wait, wait.

Before we make babies,

I saw something earlier.

Yes, Phil?

Will you...

(whispering)

What?
Will you sit on my face?

I mean, I know it's crazy
and it sounds weird,

like, why would
you sit on my face,

but I really need
this right now.

If it'll make you happy.

It'll make me the happiest
rat in the whole world.

Thank you.

♪ If you can't find
the sea ♪

♪ I will take you there ♪

(sniffs)

♪ Green ♪

All right, Phil Jr.,
get ready.

All right,
throw it really high
this time, Grandpa.

All right,
here it comes.

Oh, man, I just--

It bounced out of it.
It did.

I'll try better next time.
All right.

Hey, Grandpa?
Uh-huh?

Can I ask you something?

You can ask me
anything you want.

I was just wondering,
how are rat babies made?

(sighs) Well, Junior,

it all starts when
your daughter sits on
your best friend's face

who's dying
of a poison overdose.

No. No, I--

Let's just forget it.
I'm okay.

(bell rings)
Phil Jr.! Dinner's ready!

Oh, coming, Mom!

Come on, Grandpa.

Be right in.

(sighs)

Fun party, huh?

Oh, it was great.

Yeah?
Um...

Thank you.
Pretty good. Oh, yeah.

Great music.
It was awesome.

Lot of fun.
Oh, thanks a lot.
Yeah, yeah.

So, for payment, uh...

are you the guy
that I talk to?

No. Um, that would have
probably been Fink or...

I mean, no offense to you,

but everyone says,
"I'm not the guy
to talk to,"

and then I just end up
not getting paid.

Right.
So...

I'm kind of making you
the guy that has to make
this happen.

Are you threatening me?
Is that--

No, I'm not.
Well, that's what
it sounded like.

I mean, that's not
a threat.

Obviously, threats imply
that if you don't
do something,

there's something bad
gonna happen,

which I never said.

So, you might wanna
check your dictionary, bro.

Okay. I'm gonna go inside.

Get off my property, okay?

You may have robbed me,

but I'm leaving
with my head high,

because you haven't
taken my dignity.

Good day.

God, what an asshole.

Ah, Philly,
I wish you were still here.

But I know
you're somewhere better, okay?

Rest easy, friend.

♪ ♪

(coughs)

♪ Separation anxiety ♪

♪ From the fat stacks
in front of me ♪

♪ Without this shit,
I know she'll leave ♪

♪ She's got a leg up
when she tells me ♪

♪ Right now
is the worst time ♪

♪ To feel so heavy ♪

♪ You keep shutting down
and sinking ♪

♪ You gotta get up
and carry on ♪

♪ So dig your heels in ♪

♪ And grit your teeth ♪

♪ And quit your bitching ♪

♪ You gotta keep it straight
and keep it easy ♪

♪ And keep a face that
says we're saying ♪

♪ Oh oh you,
you can't fuck with ♪

♪ Oh oh, you,
you can't fuck with this ♪