All language subtitles for black-ish.S07E14.WEBRip.x264-ION10

At the peak of success,
no one ever believes

their time at the top
is going to end.

At the height of their power,
the Egyptians never imagined

that the pyramids would
turn into a tourist trap.

But the fact is,

everyone and everything
only get their 15 minutes.

Hey, there, baby girl.
What you working on?

I'm doing an assignment

about a dead culture
that I picked for class.

Oh, okay.
Which one is that?

Hip hop.

Hip hop is dead?

As a horse
at the Santa Anita racetrack.

--Captions by VITAC--

Hey.
Hey.

Bow, will you tell
your daughter

that hip hop
is not dead?

What?!

MC Lyte, Queen Latifah,and Bahamadia

have a concert this Sundayat the Pasadena Playhouse.

So hip hop is fine.
Bam.

Sorry, Dad, but when
the best rapper alive

is a dead guy,
you've got problems.

Okay, first off,
the best rapper alive is Rakim.

Hey!
Alright?

And he's still with us.

I think.

Look, I know why you think
the way you do

after seeing Migos
ride those big wheels

in that soda commercial,

but hip hop is more
than just music.

It's a statement
of rebellion.

It's inventive
and creative.

Banksy is hip hop.

The stepback three
is hip hop.

I'm hip hop.

That's why I can wear
this gold chain to work.

Well, you told them it was
your emotional support chain.

How hip hop is that?

Well, you should be
thanking hip hop

for this house, for your
private school education,

and for the clothes
on your back,

because if it weren't
for hip hop,

I wouldn't have been ableto break through in advertising.

So you should find another
dead culture to talk about.

Like the Mesopotamians

or Black baseball fans.

Hip hop dead? Please.

I brought hip hop swagger
to Stevens & Lido,

and that made me the king.

Uh-oh!

Someone broke out
Sally, huh?

Look at that.
24 karat solid gold Cuban link.

-Wow!
-Ooh!

Well, we've got
a pitch today,

so I had to bring in the Dre
that always closes the deal.

-Ah.
-Very well done, Dre.

That's why I'm wearingmy lucky pitch underwear,

which isno underwear at all.

Hm.
Look, Dre.

I love it when you get
dressed like this,

'cause this swaggerwins us accounts.

Your authentic
realness --

it seals the deal,
time and time again.

Before I met you,

I thought restorative justice
was a clothing line.

Every day, you teach me
with your hip hop knowledge.

Everything else I know
comes from, uh,

experimenting with it
in college.

♪ Always been down, down

♪ If I ever didn't thank
you, you ♪

♪ Then just let me
do it now ♪

Yeah, my lacrosse team
locked me in my car

with 311's first album
on repeat.

Joke's on them because I loved
them rhymes.

Wait, you think
that's hip hop?

Uh, yeah.
The real stuff.

Not like that trash
they got today.

Oh, I love
today's hip hop.

They're always telling youabout the kind of clothes
they're wearing,

which makes it real easy
to shop for the look.

And it is a real
moneymaker.

Look at this guy
50 Cents, okay?

He dehydrates themin the club,

and then he turns aroundand sells them flavored water.

And how did guys like you
learn about 50?

From Dre Johnson.

-No doubt.
-Exactly.

I am the person that keeps you
connected to the youth

so you can always
stay on trend.

We're gonna need you to bring
some of that flavor

to today's pitch, Dre.

You know I will.

I always bring my hip hop magic
to our pitches.

That's what makes me
indispensable to this company.

Ah! I, too, am indispensable
to this company.

I'm the only person
who can pronounce

the security guard's name.

It's Shaunton'dre.

Shaun-ton.

While I was taking
Stevens & Lido into the future

with hip hop,

Bow was going through
her musical past.

Ah!

"Rainbow's breakup mix
volume forty."

How many of those
did I make?

Hey, Junior,want to come sit down,

hear how Deborah Cox
was the soundtrack

to the best summer
of my life?

Aw!
Sorry, Mom, but I can't.

Oh.
I have plans.

But, you know,
some other time,

I would love to look through
your record book

and hear some stories.

Any time.

You know where to find me,
sweetheart.

Bye, Mom.

Bye. Be right here.

Look at this.
This is...

Hey, Mom?
Mm?

What you got there?

Oh, it's just a book
of nostalgia.

It's nothing.

Well, I'm not --
I'm not doing anything.

If -- If you want,
we can hang out.

Really?
Mm.

Yeah, come sit down.

Look at this, huh?

Look at all of this.

These are the most Blu-rays
I've ever seen.

Oh, my God.
These are not Blu-rays.

These are CDs.

Mm.
This is some of the music
that shaped my life.

It turned me into the woman
that I am today.

Wait.

"Jock Jams"?
Mm-hmm.

But you're not a jock.
You're a doctor.

Oh, son.
Mm.

Even I need to pump up
the volume sometimes.

Hm. Fascinating.
Right?

Well,
I'll get us some water,

and then I'll put these
into the PlayStation

and see what happens.

Okay. Sounds good.

I was ready to once again
put the agency on my back

and carry it
across the finish line.

I was about to put
some hip hop mustard

all up on this mayo pitch.

Okay, guys.

So, we have a shot
of a sandwich.

Then we see a dad.

We go back to the sandwich
even tighter.

Then we see
the dad's eyes.

He's mesmerized by it.

Finally, he can't resist

but to pick up the sandwich
and take a bite from it.

And this is the song
that's playing

underneath all of it.

♪ Unh, unh, unh♪

♪ C'mon♪

My special set of skills
was getting it done yet again.

I had them eating
out of the palm of my hand.

I was hip hop,
and hip hop was me,

and we were both
going to live forever.

♪ Poppa been smooth
since days of Underoos♪

♪ Never lose, never choose to♪Wait.

Are these guys laughing?

♪ Talk goes through us♪

Hey. What's wrong?

No, no.
It -- It's great.

It's, uh...

It's an old-school dad
kinda vibe.

Yeah, like --like, it ain't fresh ....

...but that's what
you were going for.

Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah, e-exactly.

I mean, wow.
Look at you.

You're dressed the same way
I was dressed

at our company's
'90s party.

Like, you went in
for the pitch, bro.

Y-You must be in a rap group --
Run-DM Dre.

Yeah, you know, actually,
Dre still has a two-way pager.

I feel like I'm hanging
with Mr. Cooper.

Wait, this -- this
his favorite dance.

Look.
Hunh, hunh, hunh!
Hey!

-Hunh, hunh! Hey!
-What's up?

-Go around! Go!
-Hunh, hunh!

Hey! Hey!

-That's you! That's you!
-That's you! That's you!

Those mayo chumps
were clowning me?

I needed to talk
to someone else

from hip hop's
greatest generation.

Man, that was messed up.

The way they were laughing at me
in there, man.

And then they were talking as if
we weren't relevant anymore.

Charlie, we have
the reputations

of being the hip hop guys
around here.

-Yeah.
-If we lose that, then...

then we become
Black Josh.
Yeah.

Josh was Black Josh
for Halloween last year.

It did not go well.

And who the hell
do they think they are

throwing shade
on Biggie's name?
Mm-hmm.

You and I both know that
this new stuff ain't it.

Uh, uh, uh, excuse me.

You're not
my public defender.

I can speak for myself.

I love today's hip hop.

-Are you serious?
-No, no, no, no.

I'm plugged
the whole way in.

Besides, this is how I keep up
with the ladies.

I met a 22-year-old grad student
at a Yung Baby Tate show.

She makes me feel stupid
all the time, and I love it.

Okay, look here, Charlie, it's
just you and me talking, okay?

Mm-hmm.
So you can be honest.

This stuff is not as good
as it used to be.

Well...you just
don't get it,

and that's what makes you
irrelevant.
What?

You're starting to sound like
my uncle who refused to change.

He died in a nightclub,

screaming at the DJ,
"Play more Heavy D!"

That's horrible,
Charlie.
Mm.

But that's not me, man.
I can adapt.

Heavy D?

Yeah.

Weird part was,
I was the DJ.

Don't be like
my Uncle Marcus, Dre.

Oh. Hey, Jack.

Where's Mom?
I got her a caramel macchiato.

Oh, so now you have time
for her?

What are you
talking about?

You ditched Mom to make mugs
with your girlfriend.

But I lifted her up.

We read each other's
horoscopes

and thought of ways that we
could improve in the new year.

You messed up, baby.

Okay.
Cut it out, Jack.

Mom needs things
you could never give her.

You don't even know what kind of
milk substitute she uses.

Almond?

Sorry, kid.
It's soy.

You see...

Mom and I have a special bond
that can't be replaced.

So, you both drink coffee.
Big deal.

We don't just
"drink" coffee.

Our barista, Henry,
makes us two drinks

whenever one of us goes
into our Starbucks,

because he knows
that's just how we do.

We sip, we laugh, we grow.

Together.

She is mine.

Not yours.

I think she's mine.

Face it, Jack.
You're just her side-son.
Hm.

If she has a choice
between the two of us,

we both know
who she'll pick.
Okay.

"I miss you a latte.
Back porch chat?"

Mermaid emoji,
coffee emoji.

Send.

Let's see.

She chose you.

Yeah, I think your time
is finished, playboy.

I've gotta go meet Mom.

But why don't you spend
the afternoon in your memories?

Wow.

I wasn't going to let myself
be irrelevant,

which meant I needed to get up
on this new stuff

if it was
the last thing I did.

YoungBoy Never Broke Again?

That's not a rap name.
That's a sentence.

What are you doing?

Oh. Checking out
this new-wave hip hop.

Uh...

It's, uh --
it's great.

Really?
Mm-hmm.

'Cause your nose
is bleeding.

What?

Alright.

Alright, I hate it.

But I've got to know it,
otherwise I can't do my job.

Tell me this.

How are these artists
even popular?

Lil Uzi Vert?

Trippie Redd?

Moneybagg Yo?

Bad Bunny?

I can't even understand
a word that brother says.

It's like anybody can be
a rapper now.

All you need is a drum machine
and a Supreme T-shirt.

Isn't your generation
the one

that came up with
the Humpty Dumpty Dance?

It's the Humpty Dance.

And I'll give you
a million dollars right now

and you'd never be able
to come up with something
as great as that.

I'd do it for $20.

But I'm not the one
who has something to prove.

Okay.

Watch me prove it!

Yeah! Just watch me!
I'mma prove it!

A-And just for that,

I'm not taking you with me
to go see,

uh...

Ski Mask the Slump God!

What kind of name
is that?!

Hah! Are you ready
for video game night?

You know I am.
What do you want to play?

"Fortnite"? "FIFA"?

Ooh, I got "Madden."

Well, it used to be
more fun,

but now all the players
just get concussions.

I was thinking
that we would play...

Ooh!

..."Sudoku 4K."

The number puzzle?

It's not
a numbers puzzle.

No, no, no.

This, my dear Jack,
is a brainteaser.

It is a scholastic
add-on,

a math refresher!

Why does this
-need to be in 4
-K?

Alright, my darling,
you go first.

Yep.

Uh, w-when does
the game start?

What?!

It's already started! Go!

Sweetheart,
play the five.

Play the five!

Okay,
this is so much fun.

Real fun. Uh...

Yes.

Go! Fast.

"Glennon"?

Damn, these White people names
are killing me.

Junior,
you have to help me.

What can I do for you,
playboy?

It's Mom.
She's going overboard.

We spent the last two hours
playing a Sudoku video game.

The one with Maddow
on the cover?

I haven't even
played that yet.

I swear, if you took
the Wolf Blitzer avatar,

I am gonna be so pissed.

Now she wants to re-create the
"Lady Marmalade" music video.

Who'd you get?

Christina? Missy?

P!nk.

You don't have the pipes
for that.

Or the calves.

Junior, you have to
take Mom back.

Okay, man,
it is not that easy, alright?

You have to
let her down gently.

She has
a high-pressure job.

-Lives could be at stake.
-Mm-hmm.

And besides,
you owe her that much.

Okay, what if --
hear me out...

Okay.

...I don't want to?

Fine, I'll do it.

I'll break up with Mom.

Good man.

Man, they grow up so fast.

First relationship with Mom.

Hip hop may have
knocked me down for a minute,

but I trained and focused,

and I was ready to fight
another day.

Okay, this campaign is now
completed and finished.

Dre, all we need now
is a song for the spot.

And, uh, we got to kind of
hurry it up

'cause I got a bag of popcorn
in the microwave.

So, who is the hot
young artist, huh?

Alright, well, you know,
you came to the right guy.

And I think the rapper
we should use...

Lil Pizza Boy.

Whoa. What?

Are you kidding?
Lil Pizza Boy? Come on.

He was canceled
for selling baby tigers

out of the back
of his SUV, Dre.

Come on. Next.
Let's go.

You got to do
-better than that.
-Okay.

Alright.
Well, you know, um...

I have a million other rappers
to choose from.

-Good.
-You know, so,
let's go with, uh --

Dre, seriously,
what do you got?
Mm.

Uh, how about, uh,
we go with, uh...

Come on.

Something new and current that'll help you keep your job.

♪ Unh, unh, c'mon

♪ Ha, sicker than your average

♪ Poppa twist cabbage
off instinct ♪

♪ ...don't think...stink

♪ Pink gators,
my Detroit players ♪

♪ Timbs for my --

Dre, who, uh...

Who do you got?

You know, we could
just, um...

Uh, we -- we --
we -- we -- we --

we could always
go with "Hypnotize."

I mean, you know,
i-it's a classic for a reason.

Are you kidding? I could have
come up with "Hypnotize,"

for God's sakes.

Is that really
the best you have?

Okay, look, guys,
I just --

I just don't have it
anymore, alright?

I'm washed.

And I am unwashed.

Today is laundry day.

If you'll excuse me.

Hey, Dre.
Hey.

There you are.

Thought maybe we had lost you
to the streets.

Eh, I don't know what happened
back there.

Yeah, it's my job to bring you
what's hot and what's new.

That's my sky hook.

It's what made me
unguardable.

And if that's not hitting,

I might as well be writing
articles on jazz

for "The Huffington Post."

Ah, I wouldn't worry
about it, Dre.

Everyone has an off day.

Not me.
Not with this.

I mean, you hired me
to be your hip hop guy,

so I got to do whatever
I need to do to bring that.

Hold up, y-you think
you're just our hip hop guy?

"Hip hop." "Urban."

Whatever you want to call it,
but, yeah.

Dre, you are just
our guy.

I mean, yes, initially,
we brought you in

because we wanted someone

with a knowledge
of Black culture, yeah.

Eh, well,
the job listing did say

the application process is
"no thang but a chicken wing."

Yeah. That, uh...

That was a blunder.

But, uh, now, Dre,
I gotta say,

you know, I trust your instincts
on all our campaigns.

Before we finalize a pitch,
you're the one I go to.

You are our closer.

So, I'm not just...

your Black guy?

Of course not.

Truth is, Dre,

the best decision I ever made
for this company was hiring you.

That's the truth.

Alright.

Oh! Hey, listen.

Don't stop knowing
the Black stuff, though,

you know, because, uh...

I, uh -- I can't rely
on Charlie for that.

Yesterday, he insisted

that Al Sharpton invented
the Sharpie.

Yeah.

Hm.

Hey, Jack.

Just getting
my game tight

so that when we go
online later,

we can talk some trash
to the old ladies.

Yeah, actually,
I think we need to talk.

Oh. Okay, what's up?

Oh.

Look, hanging out with you
has been a blast,

but, you know,

I think we're just at really
different points in our lives.

What are you
talking about?

I don't think
I'm built for this.

I mean, I love spending time
with you,

but I just can't be
your best friend like Junior is.

Oh.

I can't be
your everything.

Mm-kay.

Um, so...

...you think that Junior
is my best friend?

Mm-hmm.

No.

But you were so sad when Junior
couldn't hang out with you.

Yeah.
That's 'cause

I enjoy spending time
with him and he's my son.

It's the same way that I enjoy
spending time with you,

but, Jack, I have
real friends, okay?

And they're grown-ups.

And I also have your dad,

and he is technically
an adult.

So, thank you so much
for looking out for me,

but mnh-mnh.

Nope.
I don't need none of y'all.

Mnh-mnh.

Great.
Yeah.

Because I still have no idea
how to play Sudoku.

I was just
pressing buttons.

Mm.
I know that, honey.

I knew we were in trouble
when you said

you wanted to be
the thimble.

Oh. What --

Oh! Ha!
Hi.

Hey, Mom.

Didn't know
-you were home.
-Oh, I'm home.

And it just so happens that
Henry made you your usual.

Oh, my God.
He is the best.

Mm-hmm.

Did he propose to Mavis?

Do I have a storyfor you.

What do you say?
Back porch?

Coffee talk?

I would like that...

a latte!

Right?!

Oh, you just get better
and better.

-Oh, thank you.
-Cheers.
Cheers.

Alright.

So, tell me...

Oh!

"A latte."

That was actually pretty good.

Four, four.
Yes.

Hey, babe.

Five ...ah?

I had the wildest conversation
with Stevens at work today.

Was he fishing
for compliments

'cause he hired
a White chauffeur?

One...
Even wilder.

No.

He told me he valued me.

Oh.
That I'm his go-to guy.

Now, this may sound weird
coming from me.

Mm-hmm.

But do I not know
how great I am?

Well, let me see.

You enter a room

screaming,
"I'm the champ,"

so, no, you don't have
that problem.

Babe, I'm serious,
alright?

You know,
I feel like sometimes

I put a limit
on my ambition

by only seeing myself
as a Black ad exec.

Hm.

I was worried about
being irrelevant,

but the truth is...

I never really saw
my value.

Well, that's the trap.

I have been called
a great Black doctor

or a great female doctor
so many times

that I don't know
what it would be like

if I was just
a great doctor, period.

That's it
right there, babe.

Because I am a great adman,
period.

True.

Maybe I need to start
thinking like that.

Maybe I've grown out
of being

just a Senior Vice President
of Urban.

Maybe I need to start looking
at a bigger pond.

Maybe you do.

I like this for you.
Mm-hmm.

A little mid-life evolution,
huh?

You're like --

You're like Jay-Z.

What?

He was just a rapper.
Mm-hmm.

But now he's an art collector,
he's a real estate developer,

and he makes a champagne
that always gets me up.

Well, it is the only champagne
that comes with a screw top.

I think we have a bottle of that
somewhere around here.

Oh, we have a whole case.

Do we?
In the cabinet.

In the cabinet?
To the left.

Whoo! Hey!

Is it too early
for champagne?
Nope.

Bow was right.

I wasn't irrelevant.

I was evolving,
just like hip hop.

Oh, hey, Dad.

Good news, man.

You're not gonna have to pay me
a million dollars.

I can't come up with a song
better than "The Humpty Dance."

There's a reason
it's a classic.

Alright, Humpty and Shock Gwere the same person.

My Uncle Melvin
tried to tell us,

but we just thoughtit was the dementia.

You and I both need to givethis new stuff another try.

I mean, just becauseI don't know what it is

doesn't mean
it's not good.

-Maybe.
-Alright. Hey, hey.

Listen to it with me.

♪ Pop that,
drop a bag on me♪

♪ Said pop that,
drop a bag on me♪

Hey!

Oh, this is hot!

-Dad?
-Huh?

Your nose.

What?

♪ Hard on the...♪

♪ Now go hard on the...
hard on the...♪

Ugh.

I'm starting to thinkthese nosebleeds

aren't related
to the music.

Babe!

It's happening again!