Original subtitles

(birds chirping)

(squealing)

(skidding)

- Got...

The rest.

Sorry.

Okay.

(birds chirping)

(bicycle bell ringing)

I don't know if I've play this map before,

this is a new one.

It doesn't matter, I have some brand new kush

to help me kick some ass,

which I don't know if I mentioned yet,

but I sort of swindled myself into an abundant amount,

not a crazy amount, but I ripped Darryl off for the day.

I told him I needed a certain amount,

but I definitely did not give him enough money to pay for it

and just rode off before he could count the change.

(laughs) It wasn't a big amount, right,

it was just an extra bud,

and I thought I had made my clean getaway.

This guy, it turns into an epic bike chase.

He's like chasin' me down the streets,

a neighborhood I have no idea about, right,

so it's like, I'm just takin' like,

turn down this alley, turn down this street,

almost runnin' into parked cars,

last second swerving out of the way like a crazy champ.

And he's chasin' me through it all!

He almost like pushed me off my bike at one point.

Ding, ding, ding, goes his bell,

he's just tryin' to like run me down.

I don't know what her was gonna do if he did catch me.

What, would I just apologize and give it back?

I don't know, I mean, he's not a terrible guy,

but he's been kind of droppin' the ball as a dealer lately,

and that is why I'll say I think he kind of deserved it.

I mean, I don't really feel too bad,

again, it was a small amount.

It could have been a lot worse.

Like what if someone had robbed him at weapon point?

Right, like a gun, or a knife, or something?

I don't think it's too different, I mean,

like maybe a gun, I don't really know

how I would go about getting something like that.

But a knife you can get,

there's all sorts of like, you know,

mountain biking or hiking shops that sell stuff like that,

it's a useful tool.

I could have stolen his money!

All his weed, right, like someone else is probably

gonna do that at some point,

and if I hadn't prepped him by robbing him the other day

he'd of probably gotten hurt or much worse, right.

I am showing him that the business

he is in can be dangerous,

and he needs to be prepared for something like that.

So, he said I'm on his blacklist now though,

whatever that means.

Maybe he's gonna send people after me.

Fuck this guy, he's not layin' off.

(moaning over laptop)

- [Man Over Laptop] Hey guys, today I'm gonna teach you

how to solve one of the biggest mysteries

ever known to civilization.

The infamous-- (skipping)

With your hand or a knife,

and dislodge all the pieces

so you can rearrange until it's solved.

But, so this is cheating,

and it's not as impressive as actually solving it

in front of a real person.

But in order to actually solve it,

you're gonna need to know the notations and algorithms.

So first one, left, you gotta twist the left side clockwise.

So first one, left, you gotta twist the left side clockwise

by one full rot-- (skipping)

With the algorithms,

this is one the most important algorithms.

Right inverted, right inverted, right down.

Do that six times,

and the cubes will go back in the original position.

So, like this.

One.

Two.

Three.

Four.

Five.

- [Roommate] Aaron.

- [Man Over Laptop] See? Okay, awesome.

So, now let's go ahead--

- [Roommate] Aaron.

- Yeah?

- [Roommate] There's some mail person here to see you.

- [Aaron] Do I need to sign for it?

- Actually, you have to pay for it

because it's a payment upon receipt.

- Really? Okay, that's weird.

Just give me a sec.

- [Man Over Laptop] So, what is ISIS?

Who is the Islamic State?

Where does it come from?

What does it want? And why?

Let's work through these questions to get a better picture.

To begin, ISIS is the illegitimate love child

of Saddam Hussein's regime of the terrorist group, al-Qaeda.

- With a card? Great.

- [Man Over Laptop] Which has allowed ISIS to rise to power.

- There you go.

- [Man Over Laptop] Some members of al-Qaeda

moved from Afghanistan into Iraq in order

to fight the US who invaded and overthrew

Saddam Hussein in 2003.

- It's not...

I don't know.

I can't pay for it now, though.

I see it's from my mom though.

It might as well just get sent back?

Is it okay if I just keep it?

- No, I have to receive payment.

- I'm sure she just messed something up.

- Well, you could try calling her if you want,

and she could pay for it.

- I can't keep it now though?

- No, sorry, you don't have another card?

- No, that's it.

- Yeah, sorry, there's nothing I can do.

- Alright.

- [Man Over Laptop] In the early years,

Baghdad belonged to al-Qaeda.

However, in 2015, they supplied orders from the camp

and declared the group as now the Islamic State of Iraq

and Syria, know by its acronym, I-S-I-S, ISIS.

(ringing)

- [Aaron] Hi, accounts?

(slow jazz music)

- [Operator] All representatives are currently

busy assisting other customers.

Please hold, and your call will be answered

in the order it was received.

(slow jazz music)

All representatives are currently

busy assisting other customers.

Please hold, and your call will be answered

in the order it was received.

(slow jazz music)

- [Girl] Hi, customer service, how may I help you?

Hello?

Hello?

- Yeah, I'm having an issue with my account.

- [Woman Over Laptop] Who of you would like

to make more money?

- [Man Over Laptop] I'm unemployed, so stop asking me,

oh what do you do, you use (stuttering).

- [Woman Over Laptop] She told me she thought

I'd be perfect for the job.

I was just the sort of person who could say,

"Go (blank) yourself," to the board,

and especially not one where the board is behaving badly.

- [Man Over Laptop] Now, a very small group of people

have made over 3.1 million dollars using this method.

Most of them never even been online before.

Now, I'm gonna help a million more people,

and that includes you.

If you don't watch till the end of this video,

I can't help you.

But if you make it,

you'll be walking out of here with a $3,000 a month method.

Risk-free, guaranteed.

Don't believe me? Keep watching.

You wanna spend time with your kids,

you've got dogs, you wanna cook more.

Hey, we get it, you're looking for a way to make

some quick cash from home.

This method is what you need to launch you

on the path to success.

Now, I didn't invent this method,

but I got to the top,

and made $4,000 bucks in one month

just by doing what I was told.

(vibrating)

- Hey Mom.

I'm okay.

I'm alright.

That you mailed?

Yeah, yeah, no, it came.

I wasn't able to keep it though.

The mailman, he was pretty insistent

it was a pay on delivery, I think.

Maybe by accident or somethin' you maybe had that.

So yeah, it's probably on its way back to you

at this point to be honest.

Yeah, it's, I mean, I'm sure it's an easy enough thing

to mix up if you're doin' it online or somethin' maybe.

I was, it was a decent size, so I mean,

a few things, I guess it could be.

But once it's here, I'll be sure to let you know.

Yeah, yeah.

So, as far as this month goes,

I was wondering if maybe you could help out with the rent?

Uhh...

All of it.

Eh...

Yeah.

I know, I think, probably now that I'm here,

it'd be best to stay, and like, just continue to try

and work from, I think it'd be too much of a step back

at this point if I were to go back.

Yeah...

I'm not sure where you're calling from,

but I think this is a long distance call,

so I think maybe we're just gonna have to

continue this chat later,

and I may have to go.

Yeah, you too, okay, bye-bye.

Stupid.

- [Man Over Laptop] ISIS troops are well-armed.

Their video shows how an ISIS expert checks information

in an on-line wanted database.

Arabic subtitles hopefully get the details.

This member of the liberal government

is recorded in the Jihadist search list.

He will be executed on the spot.

Such activities are meticulously recorded

in an ISIS annual report 400 pages long.

7,681 times ISIS attacked in 2013.

From suicide bombs to sniper shots,

everything was recorded.

In the Washington based Institute for the Study of War,

a team led by Jessica Lewis analyzed the ISIS report.

- [Jessica] This reminds us all so much

of an annual record that a company would produce

that perhaps ISIS is showcasing its performance for...

- I'm gonna go sit down.

- Okay.

You can do one of those?

- [Aaron] Yeah, for the most part.

- Do you have like a method?

- Yeah, it's all algorithms that you use,

just a series of steps to, you know,

like okay, I move these these to here

without moving this one out of the way, right,

as soon as it comes in.

So, if I go-- - Oh shit.

(dripping) (laughing)

Aha.

- You can go right counterclockwise, or clock, yeah,

counterclockwise, bottom counterclockwise,

right clockwise, and then, now this one's here

if this all is remaining.

And it's just steps like that to get, you know, one side,

then you get the next layer doing the same thing--

- How do you get those two over?

- You can...

- [Roommate] Are you coming?

- Yeah.

- [Roommate] Okay.

- It was nice to meet you. - Yeah.

(knocking)

- [Roommate] Yo yo.

- [Aaron] Yo.

- So, print and internet went up.

- Yeah.

Is that your girlfriend?

- The other day?

Yeah.

- [Aaron] She good?

- Yeah.

- Welp, cool, cool.

- [Boy Over Laptop] So, should I stop the timer?

You're over ten minutes.

- Yeah, that same thing happened to me again,

I keep on trying to get these corner pieces in,

but there's something else in the way in the first place,

and it's doubling my time when I'm just

trying to get the second row done.

No way.

There's no way that they could have gone that far though.

What?

Really?

After all that time?

That is disgusting, wow.

No, no, that would...

I don't wish that on anyone.

Ah.

Ugh.

I like all of those things.

I wouldn't wanna do without that at all.

Eee.

(skidding)

(upbeat rock music)

So, the printer is out of ink.

I think it's your turn to get more.

- [Roommate] Oh yeah?

- Yes.

- [Roommate] Okay, okay.

Oh wait, do you wanna just, if you get it now,

then we can just roll it into internet later.

- You mean you'll cover the next internet?

- [Roommate] Well, I'll cover this internet.

- Right, right, but I think in general

we need the ink now anyways.

- [Roommate] Okay.

- So, yes, and I see what you're saying.

I do recall, however, the last time we got pizza

it was $20, I think, and I fronted $15.

Not that you owe all of that,

but at least the extra five that would've been yours.

- [Roommate] Wait, so do you want five dollars,

or do you want the ink?

- The ink, definitely the ink.

- [Roommate] Yeah, I mean, there's that,

and then toilet paper that I got.

- You got the toilet paper last time?

Did I not pitch some up front

because I got detergent as well.

I feel like we usually get those at the same time.

- [Roommate] Well, but they sort of even themselves out.

- Really, I think detergent was like $12, $13 or something.

- [Roommate] Where are you getting detergent?

- Umm...

- [Roommate] Yeah, it should be less.

- I think it's like a fabric softener as well,

so like a two in one or something.

- [Roommate] Okay, so, sorry, but you want...

But it's still mathematic, like I still come out,

we could still do this--

- Yeah, because it's what--

- [Roommate] We could still you just get the ink,

and then that's fine.

Because it's the $15 minus toilet paper.

- But then plus, like minus from what you owe, or...

Because then when we add detergent...

Phil Salib.

I am Phil Salib at...

2392.

Yep, yes.

Phil Salib, right, 2392.

That's Phil Salib at 2392 street.

Manager at Mama's Pizza, right, Phil Salib, not Aaron.

Phil Salib, mmm-hmm, 2392.

Hi, yeah, I'd like to change my PIN number.

Yeah, it's Phil Salib.

Yeah, 7133.

Yeah, yeah.

Expiration date you've got...

October of 2017.

Yeah, it's...

2392.

Do you need the postal code too?

Yeah, M6S...

Oh, I didn't think that was something

I could just do over the phone.

Just, you know, for protection and everything.

Identity theft is always an issue with that, right.

Is there other information I could give you instead?

It's just I don't feel comfortable

saying the social insurance number.

Yeah, like, I'm a manager for Mama's Pizza right now,

I've been doin' that since 2012.

Before that I was meat clerk for a meat market.

Did that from 2009 to 2011.

I can, yeah, yeah, it's...

I can get you a Linkedin account

that has all this information as well.

It's got...

I mean, of course, I can assure you I am who I am, right.

I think it should just be as easy as telling you.

Okay, yeah.

- [Man Over Laptop] Hey guys, Dean Tardioli here,

doin' a neknomination video as you can probably tell.

So, what we're thinkin' is first I wanna thank

my good buddy, Matt Mitchell, for nominating me.

Thanks man, you really nailed yours,

so I thought I'd up mine.

I'm going for two shots here,

and I expect those that I nominate to go for more.

So, let's get to it.

Here we go, bottoms up.

That's good, that's good, alright.

I'm a nominate...

Let's see here, Emily Keys, Marcus Sullivan,

and tallest man alive, Aaron Keogh, alright.

Pizza to wash down the alcohol,

that's what they say, right.

Got three or four hours.

- I'd like to thank Dean for the wonderful neknomination,

you know, I appreciate it so much.

I'm gonna go ahead and pour myself...

One.

Two.

And here we go.

I think this is a bit more than what you did, Dean.

Three shots.

So, let's get this party started,

if you know what I mean!

So, here we go, doin' the neknomination video

like everyone's lovin' to do,

and we got a garbage shot!

Argh, we got a recycling shot!

Ooh, and we got a compost shot!

Thank you for the neknomination again.

I'd like to neknominate Greg Wasylyszn,

and Jordan Kerr, you guys got 24 hours.

Do it up.

Afterburners go!

Oh fuck.

- So, I've been goin' over our list

of potential destinations. - Right.

- Yeah, I went ahead and took Kiev off of that list.

- Oh, (laughs), okay.

- I hear it's nice, just not right now.

- Right, right, I agree, okay.

- Okay, that's solved. (laughing)

- It's all good though, man,

I just got blown out of my plane.

I'm parachuting down now.

I think I'm gonna be up here for awhile.

Ooo, check this out!

Rasta! (laughs)

- [Boy Over Laptop] Very nice!

- Right!

- [Boy Over Laptop] I like that a lot.

- I think I got the order right.

- [Boy Over Laptop] I may screen cap that even,

and set it as my background. (laughing)

- I'll try and get it straight.

- I was at work the other day,

and I borrowed my friends Rubik's cube,

and I did a side. - Really?

- I did a whole top side, yeah.

So, I did what you, I followed your basic,

like your teachings.

So, I started with, like I figured out the thingies

in the middle, what do you call those?

- The center pieces? - The core.

- Yeah, they're locked in.

- Oh, (laughs) they're locked in.

- Yeah, those ones don't move no matter what.

- Yeah, so those ones are locked in,

and so I went off of that one,

and I went with yellow as what I was going for

for my top one. - Right.

- And using your handy algorithms.

- Yep, yeah. - Got me a top.

- You got a full side completed?

- A full side, well, I guess it could be any side.

It's not necessarily the top, right.

- Right. - It's top now, bottom.

- Switch it over, it's all relative.

- Yeah, so, but then I tried doing a second row,

like a second side and it really screwed everything up.

- Well, that's what algorithms are for,

so that you can, you know.

- But that's infuriating and I hate it,

so I'm gonna have to keep trying is what I'm saying.

I gave it a lot of paid work hours,

but I'm gonna solve it--

- Well, then you got it at work.

Is it just at work still?

- It's at work, it's on my desk.

It's under like a bunch of papers that look like real work.

- And you wanna get the whole thing done?

- Oh, I'm gonna get the whole thing done, for sure.

- It's not easy to get the whole thing done.

- There's like 12 year olds on YouTube who have done it.

- But if you know the algorithms you can do it, yeah.

- [Man Over Phone] One, two, three, four.

- [Aaron] Yep.

- [Man Over Phone] One, one, one, one.

- [Aaron] Yep.

- [Man Over Phone] Zero, zero, zero, zero.

- [Aaron] Yep.

- [Man Over Phone] Seven, seven, seven, seven.

- Yep.

- [Man Over Phone] Zero, zero, zero, zero.

- Yep.

- [Man Over Phone] Four, four, four, four.

- Yep.

- [Man Over Phone] Two, two, two, two.

- [Aaron] Yep.

- [Man Over Phone] (laughs) 69, 69.

- [Aaron] (laughs) Yep, of course.

- [Man Over Phone] Nine, nine, nine, nine.

- [Aaron] Yep.

- [Man Over Phone] Three, three, three, three.

- Yep.

- [Man Over Phone] Five, five, five, five.

- Yep.

- [Man Over Phone] Six, six, six, six.

- Number of the beast.

Yep.

- [Man Over Phone] Eight, eight, eight, eight.

- Yep.

- [Man Over Phone] Four, three, two, one.

- [Aaron] Got it.

- [Man Over Phone] One, zero, one, zero.

- [Aaron] Yep.

- [Man Over Phone] Might as well try this one.

A bit of a hail Mary, but it's the least common.

Eight, zero, six, eight.

- [Aaron] Got it.

That's all the ones they mentioned?

- [Man Over Phone] That's all of them.

- [Aaron] Okay.

Man, people are lazy.

There's so many of them here that are,

they're just typin' the same shit over and over.

Well, whatever.

- [Man Over Laptop] The further you research,

the deeper that you investigate how it is

that we feel that we live our lives,

the more you begin to understand that we've been deceived.

We've had the wool pulled over our eyes

by every institution.

So, why would our religious organizations

be any damn different?

What is it about the church that makes them

immune to corruption?

In fact, I'd argue that our religious--

- Aaron?

- [Aaron] Yeah.

- Did you use my booze for your neknomination?

- [Aaron] The booze in the cabinet above the fridge?

- Yeah, my booze in the cabinet.

- Yes, I think that is what I used.

- Okay, um, that's cool.

Next time, just like ask if you wanna use my stuff.

- [Aaron] Yeah, no that's no problem.

I will do that.

- Your recycle shot doe!

- [Aaron] (laughs) Compost shot!

(laughing)

Garbage shot!

Recycling shot!

- [Man Over Laptop] Institutions are perhaps by far

the most morally corroded and ethically bankrupt

systems of them all because they are...

- So, I'm sittin' at this New York fries,

waiting to order and I realized that Michael Bublé

is playing on the radio,

and I think Michael Bublé is a Canadian champ.

I don't think we hear enough of Michael Bublé,

so I was pretty happy about it,

and by the time I got up there,

Michael Bublé was still playing,

so I tell the guy who's serving me, I go,

"Hey, Michael Bublé is pretty great, right?"

He's like, "Yeah, yeah, I love Michael Bublé.

"He reminds me of Frank."

And I go, "Who?"

And he goes, "Frank Sinatra, you know Frank Sinatra?"

And I go, "Yeah, but have you met Frank Sinatra?"

He goes, "No."

I'm like, "Do you know his son, Frank Sinatra Jr.?"

He goes, "No," and I'm like,

"Then you can't really call 'em Frank.

"You're not his buddy, you're not friends with him."

And the guy just sort of just gives me a weird look,

give me my fries, and goes like,

"Okay man, have a good day."

So, I'm on the bus with my fries eating away,

and this sort of bigger woman accidentally

knocks my arm, and I drop my fries on the ground.

And I'm like, "Fuck, my fries."

So, I'm looking at them on the ground,

and I don't know what to do in this situation.

Do I pick up the fries?

Do I carry around dirty fries with me?

I'm not gonna eat 'em anymore.

And obviously, there's a guy sitting across the bar,

sorry, not the bar, the bus,

and he's looking at me.

He sees me lookin' at the fries, and he goes,

"Hey man, you gonna pick up your fries?"

I go, "I don't know what to do in this situation?

"Do I pick up he fries? Do I not?"

He goes, "I don't care what you do!

"Just pick up your fries!

"your dirtying up everyone's area."

So it's like, "Maybe I won't pick up my fries now.

"You're being a little rude."

And so we sort of have a back and forth,

and I ended up kicking the fries towards him

to be passive aggressive.

Anyways, I made it off the bus just fine

without having to pick up the fries.

I'm walking along, go to work,

which I work from home,

and I see this black truck parked on the side of the road.

There's this guy sittin' in it,

he looks at me, I look at him, and he goes, "Faggot."

- What?

- I was like, "Okay man, thanks,"

and just kept walkin' along.

Next day I'm on the bus listening to Michael Bublé

because of the day before.

I'm listenin' and I'm rockin' out

a little too loud on the bus,

and this woman taps me on the shoulder, goes,

"Yeah, can you turn down your music?"

I go, "Yeah," and she goes,

"But Michael Bublé is pretty good."

I go, "Yeah, he's great," she goes,

"Yeah, he reminds me of Frank."

I go, "Frank who?"

Because I don't remember the day before.

She goes, "You know, Frank Sinatra."

I'm like, "Do you know Frank Sinatra?"

She's like, "No."

"Do you know his son, Frank Sinatra Jr.?"

She's like, "No, I don't know him either" and I go,

"Then you can't really call 'em Frank.

"You're not buddies with him.

"You're not friends, you don't know him personally."

She's like, "Okay, man."

So, I put my headphones back in and I keep jamming out.

Later that day, I'm back on the bus, I sit down,

and I realize, boom, fries are on the ground.

These aren't mine though,

these are the different types of fries,

I don't know who spilt these.

I'm staring at them.

Anyways, someone gets on the bus, looks at me, and goes,

"You gonna pick up those fries?"

Same thing happens, except this time I didn't drop them,

so I was very defensive about it.

I was like, "They're not mine."

- Rightfully so.

- Got off the bus, low and behold, black truck zooms by me,

"Hey, remember me, faggot?"

He yells out the window. - What?

- (laughs) I'm like, come on.

So, the next day, I'm on the bus again,

I got fries, I'm eating them, but I am safe as can be,

you know what I mean,

it really shows my dedication to french fries (laughs).

So, I get off the bus, and I've successfully

made it through a bus ride without having

spilled fries around me.

And I'm walking along all proud, and you know,

little do I know, black truck zooms by me, "Faggot!"

I'm startled, I drop my fries everywhere,

I'm staring at them on the ground going,

"Oh my God, not again."

And I look up, and I see these people

staring at me from their porch.

And I'm looking at the fries,

and they're looking at me, and they go,

"Hey, you gonna pick up your fries?"

I was just like, "Yeah."

So, I pick 'em up, I throw 'em out.

Anyways, I'm talking to Greg on the phone the next day,

and I'm telling him all this weird stuff,

and I go, it reminded me of like

a Curb Your Enthusiasm episode.

I felt like Larry going through all these weird things.

He goes, "Larry who?"

I go, "You know, Larry David, the main character

"on Curb Your Enthusiasm."

He goes, "Do you know Larry David?"

I'm like, "No," and he's like,

"How can you say that?

"You don't know him, he's not your friend."

And I'm like, "Anyways, it was a weird weekend."

(laughing)

- I couldn't take out any money.

I tried like three times,

I think the machine is broken or somethin',

but I don't have any cash for tonight.

I don't know if maybe you could.

- Ah, yeah, no problem, man. - Sorry.

I used the cash I did have for the coat check.

It was just, it would just load,

and wouldn't-- - Yeah, yeah, yeah.

- It spit the card back out each time.

Appreciate it, thanks.

- It's been a good month, you know,.

- How much of a tip was that?

- It doesn't matter.

(birds chirping)

Hey man. - Yo.

- Yep.

- [Aaron] Sorry.

- That's alright.

- Listen, sort of the reason I came down here, I mean,

other than to hang out, have a good time,

you know, buy you a couple beers.

How do you feel about making an extra...

2 to $3,000 a month?

- (laughs) Sure, I mean-- - Listen, listen.

I've been working with this organization,

and it's been a little over a month now.

And we're expanding, and that really speaks

to the success of the company,

and I wanna include you in that expansion.

Now, you're a hard worker, you know,

you're very personable, I mean,

we've been friends for forever,

you're great with numbers,

those are the kind of traits that we're looking for.

Alright, and you're probably asking yourself right now,

"What does he do?"

Well, I just follow other people's directions,

and I work hard, and I get to do it

from the comfort of my own couch, I work from home.

You know, I got a suit and tie, but you know,

when am I gonna wear it, right, right?

- Okay. - Yeah, yeah, yeah.

- So, that $2,000, that's not the cap, alright,

the amount of money that you make out of this

is based off of the amount of work

that you're willing to put into it.

I know people who started making two, three grand a month,

now they're making ten grand a month,

and some people would consider that a bad month.

So, if you wanna work hard, you're gonna make buck,

but if you wanna take it easy,

take a week off, you know, and a supervisor

breathing down your neck telling you to get back to work.

It's a great opportunity, and I thought, you know,

what kind of friend would I be

if I didn't come down here and pitch it to you?

So, what do you say?

You wanna work together?

- Well, like...

What is...

It kind of sounds like...

Sort of...

What is it that you do?

- Well, that was fun! - Yeah, yeah.

Good time.

- Definitely gonna have to do it again some time.

- For sure. - Yeah.

Alright!

- I'll get the drinks next time.

- [Dean] Absolutely!

(knocking)

- [Roommate] Yo!

- I got $20 for internet this month.

- [Roommate] Sweet, thanks.

- Yeah, no problem.

- [Roommate] Oh wait, hey, were you just doing laundry?

- Yeah, I'm done now though.

- [Roommate] Did you find it in there?

- I did.

- [Roommate] Because I lost $20 in the laundry room

earlier doing laundry.

- You lost $20 earlier today?

- [Roommate] Yeah.

- Did you check?

- [Roommate] Well, I checked like after it was all done,

and then I didn't have it, and then...

- But you figured it was in the laundry.

- [Roommate] Yeah, I didn't want to interrupt

you doing yours.

- You wouldn't be interrupting.

I mean, yeah, no, I just figured it was probably mine

because...

If I had thought--

- [Roommate] I guess I thought it fell out

of my pocket maybe during the whole cycle.

- Mmm-hmm...

- [Roommate] Well--

- I mean, I...

- [Roommate] Either way, I'll take it.

- Yeah, I did find it though.

So, I'm thinking maybe just based on that

we'll say it's for internet.

- [Roommate] Well, do you wanna check again?

- For another $20?

Yeah, yeah, I can do that, okay.

- [Roommate] It's possible.

- Yeah, yeah, maybe yours is still in there.

If, okay.

(laughing)

- [Roommate] So, I was reading up, and like,

the main things, there's basically five main things

that you need to know about them.

So, like number one is that they were al Qaeda,

like before, when we went in, they were al Qaeda

like for the first war, even the one before Bush,

it was still al Qaeda, but then, just after we withdrew,

then they became who they are now, which is ISIS.

So, it's like, we kind of created them because

thing number two is like now because we're waging

like this war just from the air with drones,

it's like they can still move about,

or get out of the areas that we're bombing,

but they're going to more sovereign countries,

so it's like they're going to more

sovereign countries that we can't bomb,

so it's actually making matters worse

that we're just doing it via drones.

- [Girl] It's not even connected.

I would think you'd have to hit TV.

- [Roommate] So, anyway, thing number three

is that because of UN regulations we had to leave

and because Obama's there, like Obama is in power,

and his big thing was that we're gonna get out, so we did,

but then we had the next attack,

so we had to stay in.

So, it's just like perpetuating the war,

but like it's making it worse that we're still there

and bombing it, but anyway,

do you know how to work this, Aaron?

- No, I do not.

- You wanna fix this?

- [Girl] There's a quick remote setup.

- [Roommate] Anyway, thing number five.

(trickling)

- [Aaron] Ahh!

- [Girl] Sorry!

Sorry!

Sorry.

- [Aaron] Alright, it's you.

- [Girl] It's impressive though

that you can do both at once.

- [Aaron] Thank you.

- [Roommate] So, basically, all of those things combined

it's like we can't get out of this fucking forever war--

- [Girl] Are you sure you don't wanna come, Aaron?

- I am sure, thank you, that's okay.

- [Girl] Why not, it'll be so much fun.

- I'm not much of a going out to dance person.

- [Roommate] I think you were under the impression

that we were drinking when really we were just pre-drinking

to go drink at the place.

- I was just drinking.

- [Girl] It's gonna be really fun, I swear.

- I'm sure it will, but I'm--

- [Girl] So come!

- I'm gonna stay in.

- [Roommate] It's only five bucks.

- [Girl] Yeah, that's super cheap.

- It's five bucks I could spend on several beers

if I'm getting something from the store, right.

- [Girl] Yeah, at the bar.

- [Roommate] Okay now, dude, seriously,

come on, get your shoes on, let's go!

- No, I'm staying.

Thank you though, but I am good here.

- [Roommate] Dude! Seriously, I'm not jokin'.

- I'm serious, I am, no, I'm good, thank you.

- [Girl] Don't be lame, come on.

- Sorry, I'm being lame, but this is--

- [Roommate] Okay, no, Aaron's gonna be lame!

Let's roll!

We'll have fun!

- [Girl] Bye Aaron.

- Yeah, no have fun, yep, thank you.

Good bye.

(active drumming)

- So, we got to Sneaks, and like,

right off the bat, Adrian was like,

"This is gonna be a serious evening of craziness."

So, he went to the bar, and he's like,

"I want three Jäger bombs right away,

and like he's a huge lightweight, like,

whenever I tell him that he's a lightweight,

he gets really pissy, so I was like,

"Tonight, I'm gonna let him do his thing.

"He's a big shot now."

(laughs) And so, he gets his three shots,

and we're on the dance floor, it's great,

we're all having fun, and then I lose him,

and like 20 minutes later I find him at the bar,

and he has like five or six empty shots,

which I'm assuming were all Jäger bombs.

And I think by the end of the night,

all total, he had like ten freakin' Jäger bombs,

so like, big night for Adrian.

- Thank you. - Goodnight.

If you like to get high from joints,

you are gonna love smoking a bong.

So, you'll just, I think I've got a lighter in here.

Take the lighter, go ahead and smoke the weed.

You'll be inhaling the entire time,

so you'll just have your mouth fully sealed on this,

you'll take the lighter, light it whilst inhaling,

there'll be a sort of bubbling sound.

- Okay.

- The smoke will go through, fill the chamber, the shaft.

And once you either can't inhale any longer,

or once it has run out, you will pull the bowl out,

and then the smoke will then, shoop,

shoot into your lungs.

I guess, just you know, science,

oxygen can now enter from another point,

and it just completes the loop, right.

- Sure, yeah.

- So, I can show you first if you want.

This is what I meant by inhaling.

Get the bubbles goin', right, that's a good noise.

Nice music by the way. - Thank you.

- Let's, I can go first. - Yeah, please.

Please, please, please.

- Yeah, okay, so again, light, inhale, pull, inhale,

hold it in, exhale, you've smoked before, yeah?

- Okay. - Alright.

(upbeat techno music) (bubbling)

Voila!

And then, exhale. (laughing)

And soon enough, I will be high.

- Way to go.

- I can pack you a bowl now.

- Yeah!

- Do a similar size. - Yeah.

- You could do more if you wanted to.

- No, I don't think so. (laughing)

(birds chirping)

- You out?

- [Girl] Yeah.

- Cool.

- [Woman] Hello sweetheart, it's the mother.

Could you call me please as soon as you get this message?

I've received about three phone calls from the bank,

and the one this morning,

the guy who left a message said it is urgent

that you call the bank.

So, if you could, well, do two things,

if you could call your bank,

and also call me back to let me know

that you've done this and to reassure--

(skipping)

I'm just a little bit concerned.

Love you to bits, bye-bye.

- [Operator] End of--

Message deleted.

Saved message, sent on.

(mid-tempo drumming)

- [Dean] The architecture in Germany here

is all really modern because they had to rebuild everything

after World War II because it all got destroyed.

They also have really awesome looking castles

in the German countryside.

Plus, it's on my bucket list to drink a beer in Germany,

and it has to be out of a boot.

That's how it's done.

And if that's on the bucket list,

then smoking a joint in Amsterdam

is also on the bucket list.

Maybe, if there's time, swing out far enough east

into Turkey to see Istanbul

because it's like the only city in the world

that I know of that is in two continents,

and that's pretty cool.

Make my way back, if there's time again,

maybe go to Switzerland because I know

that's sort of like in the middle of the Alps.

So, I don't know if there would be time to go through there.

Go down to the Italian countryside, you know,

see a lot of like the old villages.

There's like old Roman ruins that you can see

that I'd love to see.

I would drink a whole bunch of wine.

Eventually you get into Rome,

and you spend a couple days in Rome

doing like the Rome stuff,

like see the Colosseum and all that.

You know, maybe go into Scandinavia, Sweden,

see some of the old Viking heritage

because that show was pretty awesome.

Taking the tunnel over to England,

and then sort of the way the trip started off dude,

with all the touristy stuff in Paris,

and sort of cap it off doing all the touristy

stuff in London.

Maybe see like a soccer, or football match.

And the Tower of London, it'd be cool to see.

(knocking)

- [Adrian] Yep.

- Can I get Molly's number off you?

- [Adrian] Why?

- Hoping to get Kelly's information from her.

- [Adrian] Oh, for real?

Alright, I'll text it to you.

You got it?

- Yeah, I got it.

Here you go. - Oh, thank you.

So, the reason I brought you to here today,

and I got you this coffee is I've got a proposal.

- Did you want a coffee?

Because I mean, like I--

- Oh, no, no, no, I like water, it's fine,

it doesn't matter, yeah.

I have an idea I wanna run by you, so...

Basically, you have a credit card, yes?

- Yes. - Right, okay, perfect.

So, my idea would be that you, I would take your credit,

or you would give me your credit card,

and with the understanding that I would then take it,

and go to Ajax or somewhere, I'll take a bus,

that's the one thing actually I would probably

need you to spring for the bus ticket to Ajax.

But of course, only initially.

And then once I'm in Ajax I would withdraw

up to the limit that you have.

I don't know how much it is,

but I'm sure it's an amount of significance, right.

So, this much I would take out as like cash advance,

or whatever sort of way to do so,

so that I've got it.

At which point, say some point that same day,

you would come into contact with your credit card company,

call them up, and say, "Hi, I can't find my credit card."

I've lost it, or maybe it was stolen, I don't know,

or maybe I just left it at the last place I made a purchase.

Doesn't matter, you just know you don't have it anymore.

At this point, they will of course probably look it up,

"And, you know what, we actually have some

"very recent activity."

Maybe an hour, who knows what that time is gonna be.

"Well, you've spent all this money? Is this you?

"This is suspicious, it doesn't look like, you know,

"your previous spending record, and such."

And you could of course be like,

"Oh, you know..."

You wouldn't say this because then it might be obvious,

but it's fraudulent activity is what

it would come to the conclusion of,

and they would probably cancel your credit card

and send you a new one.

Your credit score would be unaffected, not touched,

it would be all good.

The only thing is, of course,

I would still have the money that I've withdrawn

with your credit card, and then upon coming back,

we could then split that.

And this is of course, like, it's not anyone's money

that we're taking, it's not your money.

Your money, it's not money you would

be spending otherwise, right.

It's not the bank's money or the card

because they don't even really deal with real money.

It's just imaginary money that they claim to have

with the assumption that they're not just gonna have

to pay it all out at the same time.

If they did, they'd be screwed.

That's why they are technically always screwing us over,

and this is just a way for us to finally

come out on top and get the final say,

and sort of get back at the credit card companies and such

because it's, I think it's a really good idea.

- So, I'm not really, I'm not quite sure

what you're trying to do.

Like what are you trying to do with my credit card?

- With it, it's just to get us both a good amount--

- I mean, regardless, this is illegal,

so I can't-- - Well...

Hey Dean, how's it goin'?

Yeah, yeah, I was callin' you,

I was wondering if that offer you made is still available?

Yeah, sweet, okay, what do I gotta do?

Just put me in touch with someone, and I...

Oh, a registration fee.

Is there any way that can be waived?

Yeah, no, I'll have to think about it.

I'll, yeah.

Yeah, yeah, take it easy.

(vibrating)

Hello.

Yo, Greg, guess who is coming to Europe?

Yeah, my credit card just called,

well, the company right, and they were like,

"Hey, your limit's increased."

So, I am going to use that increased limit

to fund my way to Europe.

Well, yeah, it's not too important.

The point is like I can worry about it later now,

and in the meantime enjoy Europe like we wanted to.

I think I'm a valued customer,

and like, I don't appreciate you saying that.

But I think you'll value me as a cohort in Europe.

So, why don't we just focus on the fact

that I got to figure out where to meet you and shit.

Where are you now?

Layover, that sounds boring.

It's not my intention to do anything laying over in Europe.

You're where?

Paris?

Well, Paris is expensive.

No, I'm flying to Amsterdam.

But like, Europe's tiny.

Amsterdam? Why would I not go anywhere but Amsterdam?

Of course, I'm going to Amsterdam.

It's cheaper, and it's like, again,

I can just train to anywhere.

It's like Paris, where else is in?

I don't know where it would stop.

It would just probably go straight to Paris.

Oh, and Belgium's in between there, isn't it?

Between, what?

Exactly, that's what I'm saying, yeah.

And that's what they do,

they just train from place to place.

They have like, they've had 'em set up

since like medieval times or whenever trains were invented.

So, it's like, yeah, no,

Ontario is fucking bigger than Europe, man,

and we hardly even use trains.

We have yet to catch up to them.

We gotta figure out what we're doin'

as far as trains go.

Yo, I think I just found a dollar in the dryer, awesome.

Yeah, well, I mean, I'll have to exchange it for a euro.

That's the other thing,

did you exchange like your money and shit

like when you were already there,

or before you went over?