Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:42,125 --> 00:00:43,125
Time.
2
00:00:46,625 --> 00:00:47,625
Space.
3
00:00:49,375 --> 00:00:50,375
Reality.
4
00:00:53,208 --> 00:00:54,998
It's more than a linear path.
5
00:00:59,875 --> 00:01:04,535
It's a prism of endless possibility,
6
00:01:06,833 --> 00:01:10,333
where a single choice
can branch out into infinite realities,
7
00:01:13,042 --> 00:01:16,042
creating alternate worlds
from the ones you know.
8
00:01:19,917 --> 00:01:21,167
I am the Watcher.
9
00:01:23,500 --> 00:01:26,670
I am your guide
through these vast new realities.
10
00:01:28,250 --> 00:01:31,920
Follow me and ponder the question...
11
00:01:35,333 --> 00:01:36,713
"What if?"
12
00:01:50,917 --> 00:01:52,787
For the win. This is it.
13
00:01:55,583 --> 00:01:57,213
And this is it, for the win.
14
00:01:58,792 --> 00:02:01,082
For the win. This is it.
15
00:02:02,167 --> 00:02:03,457
For the...
16
00:02:04,250 --> 00:02:07,250
Yes! First try.
Jane, you owe me 50...
17
00:02:07,333 --> 00:02:09,083
Uh... Oh! Uh...
18
00:02:09,167 --> 00:02:10,877
Uh, Jane, Jane, Jane!
19
00:02:10,958 --> 00:02:12,708
It's beeping! It's doing the beeping!
20
00:02:14,125 --> 00:02:16,375
I need to talk
to the director of S.H.I.E.L.D.
21
00:02:16,458 --> 00:02:17,958
Because, if my data is correct,
22
00:02:18,042 --> 00:02:19,712
I believe an alien invasion
is imminent and...
23
00:02:19,792 --> 00:02:20,792
Hello?
24
00:02:22,250 --> 00:02:25,040
Two years ago, the same anomaly
struck Star Alpha Icarus
25
00:02:25,125 --> 00:02:27,705
and the entire star dimmed
and then, poof, disintegrated.
26
00:02:28,958 --> 00:02:32,458
Yes, I know this is the Parks Department,
but isn't there something you can do?
27
00:02:32,542 --> 00:02:34,632
Talking about the end of the world,
my dude.
28
00:02:39,792 --> 00:02:41,632
They're here.
29
00:02:41,708 --> 00:02:44,208
We're too late. The invasion has begun.
30
00:02:51,208 --> 00:02:52,208
- Holy moly!
- Oh!
31
00:02:56,167 --> 00:02:57,747
Citizens of Midgard...
32
00:02:59,417 --> 00:03:02,707
...your dull lives are about
to come to an end.
33
00:03:02,792 --> 00:03:05,082
Prepare yourselves...
34
00:03:08,458 --> 00:03:11,208
for the party prince!
35
00:03:14,583 --> 00:03:17,583
This is gonna be awesome. Whoo!
36
00:03:17,667 --> 00:03:19,707
More than battles won or lost,
37
00:03:19,792 --> 00:03:22,582
it's relationships
that truly define a hero.
38
00:03:22,667 --> 00:03:24,957
The people who shape them, their stories.
39
00:03:25,875 --> 00:03:29,495
Thor and Loki, a brotherhood
so strong and pivotal,
40
00:03:29,583 --> 00:03:31,713
it would change the fate of a universe.
41
00:03:32,708 --> 00:03:36,078
Their childhood taught Thor many lessons.
42
00:03:37,292 --> 00:03:38,712
But in another universe,
43
00:03:38,792 --> 00:03:42,922
instead of raising the Jotunheim prince,
Loki, as his own son,
44
00:03:43,000 --> 00:03:45,330
Odin returned him to his people.
45
00:03:45,417 --> 00:03:49,327
Without his trickster brother
to keep things, let's say, lively,
46
00:03:49,417 --> 00:03:52,457
Thor grew into a very different prince.
47
00:03:57,708 --> 00:04:00,078
Rest, my love.
48
00:04:00,167 --> 00:04:04,287
Allow the Odinsleep to restore
your body and soul.
49
00:04:17,750 --> 00:04:20,290
He's asleep. And, uh...
50
00:04:20,375 --> 00:04:23,455
I'm off to my sister's
to celebrate the solstice.
51
00:04:23,542 --> 00:04:27,042
Now, this is your first taste of kinghood,
my prince.
52
00:04:27,125 --> 00:04:28,415
I expect you to study,
53
00:04:28,500 --> 00:04:31,000
read up on the Nine Realms
that you will one day rule.
54
00:04:31,083 --> 00:04:32,213
Of course, Mother.
55
00:04:32,292 --> 00:04:34,212
- No parties.
- Of course, Mother.
56
00:04:34,292 --> 00:04:36,502
Remember,
Heimdall will be watching.
57
00:04:38,167 --> 00:04:40,287
Wait, what? You can't be serious.
58
00:04:40,375 --> 00:04:41,455
Behave.
59
00:04:48,458 --> 00:04:49,708
Oh, Heimdall, there you are.
60
00:04:50,250 --> 00:04:53,670
Just off to study.
Books won't read themselves.
61
00:04:53,750 --> 00:04:55,040
But your mother said...
62
00:04:55,125 --> 00:04:56,745
Don't be such a wet blanket, Hogun.
63
00:04:56,833 --> 00:04:59,793
Oh, guys, stop. My father has
ruled Asgard for centuries.
64
00:04:59,875 --> 00:05:02,665
And, look, the most interesting thing
that he's ever done is fall asleep.
65
00:05:02,750 --> 00:05:06,750
He only cares about duty
and blah-blah-blah-blah responsibility.
66
00:05:06,833 --> 00:05:09,963
Well, I'm not gonna be like him, right?
The boring king? Uh-uh.
67
00:05:11,333 --> 00:05:16,673
But Heimdall sees all.
If we try anything, he'll call Frigga.
68
00:05:16,750 --> 00:05:18,250
Oh, ye of little faith.
69
00:05:18,333 --> 00:05:20,503
We are going to the most backward,
70
00:05:20,583 --> 00:05:23,753
backwater planet that not even
Heimdall pays attention to.
71
00:05:23,833 --> 00:05:25,253
Alert the realms.
72
00:05:26,750 --> 00:05:29,500
Party on Midgard!
73
00:05:29,583 --> 00:05:31,133
Yes!
74
00:05:31,208 --> 00:05:32,538
Huzzah!
75
00:05:32,625 --> 00:05:35,035
To Thor, the party prince!
76
00:05:35,125 --> 00:05:37,205
- Welcome! Welcome, friends.
- Party prince!
77
00:05:37,292 --> 00:05:38,632
Enjoy the night.
78
00:05:38,708 --> 00:05:39,708
Thunder hug.
79
00:05:41,042 --> 00:05:43,382
Here, have a drink.
It never runs out.
80
00:05:43,458 --> 00:05:47,288
You try to drink it all,
but you can't because it's magic! Huzzah!
81
00:05:47,375 --> 00:05:51,125
Huzzah!
Thor! Thor! Thor! Thor! Thor!
82
00:05:52,292 --> 00:05:54,962
Hollywood movies did not
prepare me for this.
83
00:05:55,042 --> 00:05:58,382
Shouldn't there be more lasers?
Probing? A flying cow?
84
00:05:58,458 --> 00:05:59,538
According to my data,
85
00:05:59,625 --> 00:06:02,785
the first extraterrestrial
to arrive was...
86
00:06:02,875 --> 00:06:04,665
Him?
87
00:06:10,875 --> 00:06:13,375
Huh. I expected him to look more like...
88
00:06:13,458 --> 00:06:17,078
Like what? E.T.? And less like
a hottie McScotty, beach body Ken,
89
00:06:17,167 --> 00:06:20,707
old-school Abercrombie catalog?
I could go on. Let me.
90
00:06:20,792 --> 00:06:21,922
I'm gonna go talk to him.
91
00:06:22,000 --> 00:06:23,750
I'm gonna make first contact
with an alien.
92
00:06:23,833 --> 00:06:26,253
First? I think half the Strip
beat you to it.
93
00:06:26,333 --> 00:06:27,923
You can make first contact with...
94
00:06:28,000 --> 00:06:30,330
I don't know, that guy.
He looks like a loser.
95
00:06:30,417 --> 00:06:32,537
Ha! Big talk coming from a brunette.
96
00:06:33,500 --> 00:06:35,580
I'm going. How do I look?
97
00:06:35,667 --> 00:06:38,377
Completely unprepared
for whatever happens next.
98
00:06:38,458 --> 00:06:39,878
Oh, do me, do me.
99
00:06:40,458 --> 00:06:44,248
Yes, you do me.
You do me, and you too.
100
00:06:44,333 --> 00:06:47,293
Oh, you guys really get me. Yes?
101
00:06:47,875 --> 00:06:49,325
Huh? Oh.
102
00:06:49,417 --> 00:06:52,077
Oh, there you are, all the way down there.
103
00:06:52,167 --> 00:06:54,577
So tiny, I almost stood on you.
How are you?
104
00:06:54,667 --> 00:06:57,127
I'm Dr. Jane Foster of Earth.
105
00:06:57,208 --> 00:06:59,378
Yeah, Thor, Crown Prince of Asgard.
106
00:06:59,458 --> 00:07:02,078
Uh, libations, crudité, baked goods?
107
00:07:02,167 --> 00:07:04,287
Mmm. Topaz, what do I always say?
108
00:07:04,375 --> 00:07:05,535
- I love cake.
- Mmm.
109
00:07:05,833 --> 00:07:07,673
Wait, wait, wait. You're Thor?
110
00:07:07,750 --> 00:07:10,380
As in Thor, the Norse god of thunder?
111
00:07:10,458 --> 00:07:14,748
I don't know anything about horse gods,
but I do know how to bring the thunder.
112
00:07:14,833 --> 00:07:17,423
Uh... Okay, moving on.
113
00:07:17,500 --> 00:07:20,420
Eighteen months ago,
Alpha Star Icarus died.
114
00:07:20,500 --> 00:07:22,130
The astronomaly that preceded it...
115
00:07:22,208 --> 00:07:24,248
- ...happened again tonight.
- Don't drink too much.
116
00:07:24,333 --> 00:07:26,043
- Or too little.
- Hey, thunder boy.
117
00:07:26,125 --> 00:07:28,245
What I'm asking is, was that you?
118
00:07:28,333 --> 00:07:32,003
Yes, Alpha Star.
Now, that was an excellent party.
119
00:07:32,083 --> 00:07:34,083
You know, we lost Fandral for three days.
120
00:07:34,167 --> 00:07:36,917
Found him in a barn,
curled up next to a baby goat.
121
00:07:37,000 --> 00:07:38,880
It was classic. Isn't that right, Fandral?
122
00:07:38,958 --> 00:07:40,878
I named him Gary.
123
00:07:40,958 --> 00:07:42,288
- Yeah, you did.
- Yeah, goats!
124
00:07:42,375 --> 00:07:43,625
You killed a planet.
125
00:07:43,708 --> 00:07:46,418
Oh, what is that light box thing
you've got there?
126
00:07:46,500 --> 00:07:49,290
Oh, it's magic. I love magic.
Did you build this all by yourself?
127
00:07:49,375 --> 00:07:52,875
Excuse me? I happen to be
an astrophysicist with multiple PhDs.
128
00:07:52,958 --> 00:07:56,378
You know, it would take a whole
team of Asgardians to create such a thing.
129
00:07:56,458 --> 00:07:59,628
You must be a genius.
You are a genius, aren't you?
130
00:07:59,708 --> 00:08:02,288
Well, I don't know
about genius, but...
131
00:08:02,375 --> 00:08:03,875
And your eyes...
132
00:08:03,958 --> 00:08:07,328
Do all geniuses have such deep, dark eyes?
133
00:08:07,417 --> 00:08:10,627
It's like watching the birth of two stars
on the edge of the galaxy.
134
00:08:10,708 --> 00:08:12,498
Oh.
135
00:08:14,208 --> 00:08:17,038
Well, it's happy hour.
Want some half-price nachos?
136
00:08:17,125 --> 00:08:20,035
Okay, fine, Duck. But this is not a date.
137
00:08:20,125 --> 00:08:21,745
Let's just see where this evolves.
138
00:08:33,458 --> 00:08:34,708
Huh?
139
00:08:34,792 --> 00:08:35,882
Release the foam.
140
00:08:39,542 --> 00:08:41,252
Blow on these.
141
00:08:41,333 --> 00:08:42,833
Momma needs a brand-new eye.
142
00:08:51,208 --> 00:08:53,998
Volstagg has crashed!
143
00:08:54,083 --> 00:08:56,173
I now pronounce you Darcy and the Duck.
144
00:08:56,250 --> 00:08:57,290
Uh-huh
145
00:09:20,125 --> 00:09:21,535
Ah.
146
00:09:22,542 --> 00:09:24,082
Ah, phone.
147
00:09:31,667 --> 00:09:36,167
Ah, phone... Phone! Oh, shut up!
148
00:09:39,083 --> 00:09:40,423
Dr. Jane Foster?
149
00:09:40,500 --> 00:09:42,750
Coming. I'm coming.
150
00:09:42,833 --> 00:09:44,633
Dr. Jane Foster!
151
00:09:44,708 --> 00:09:46,378
Hold on.
152
00:09:46,458 --> 00:09:48,828
Dr. Jane Foster,
this is S.H.I.E.L.D.
153
00:09:51,917 --> 00:09:53,287
If you do not answer, we will...
154
00:09:53,375 --> 00:09:54,785
Yes?
155
00:09:54,875 --> 00:09:55,875
We have her, ma'am.
156
00:09:55,958 --> 00:09:58,208
Maria Hill,
Acting Director of S.H.I.E.L.D.
157
00:09:58,292 --> 00:09:59,672
- You need to come with us.
- Uh...
158
00:10:00,958 --> 00:10:04,038
Can this wait until after breakfast?
'Cause...
159
00:10:04,125 --> 00:10:08,285
You were the first to warn us
about this extraterrestrial threat.
160
00:10:08,375 --> 00:10:11,625
Now I hope you will be the key
to eliminating it.
161
00:10:11,708 --> 00:10:14,708
"Threat"? Would you call him
a threat, really?
162
00:10:14,792 --> 00:10:18,712
Do you wanna know why I am
the Acting Director, Dr. Foster?
163
00:10:18,792 --> 00:10:20,042
Nope.
164
00:10:20,125 --> 00:10:24,745
Hey, Spicoli. This might be your party,
but this isn't your planet.
165
00:10:24,833 --> 00:10:26,583
Before someone gets hurt, I need...
166
00:10:26,667 --> 00:10:27,667
Ball cannons!
167
00:10:31,375 --> 00:10:32,415
Oh!
168
00:10:32,500 --> 00:10:34,420
- Is he okay?
- He's still unconscious.
169
00:10:36,083 --> 00:10:37,213
We getting food?
170
00:10:37,292 --> 00:10:38,832
Do you have company, Dr. Foster?
171
00:10:38,917 --> 00:10:40,457
Uh... A friend.
172
00:10:40,542 --> 00:10:43,212
Guys, guys, look.
There's a cute little rabbit in the sink.
173
00:10:43,292 --> 00:10:46,082
Oh, look at this little rabbit.
It's gorgeous.
174
00:10:46,167 --> 00:10:48,997
He's... a zoologist. I'll call you, okay?
175
00:10:51,958 --> 00:10:53,378
I told you everything.
176
00:10:53,458 --> 00:10:55,578
I followed the anomaly's origin to Vegas.
177
00:10:55,667 --> 00:10:57,077
And then what did you do?
178
00:10:57,167 --> 00:11:00,377
Um... Uh...
179
00:11:00,458 --> 00:11:02,828
Director, the party atmosphere
seems to be spreading.
180
00:11:04,000 --> 00:11:07,000
Canada, Mongolia,
even Pennsylvania Dutch country.
181
00:11:07,083 --> 00:11:10,173
Led by the main instigator,
Thor of Asgard,
182
00:11:10,250 --> 00:11:11,750
who's now taken to the skies.
183
00:11:11,833 --> 00:11:14,133
What? He left?
184
00:11:14,208 --> 00:11:17,078
Did he... Did he even leave a note at...
185
00:11:17,833 --> 00:11:21,043
I mean, did...
Did he say where he was going?
186
00:11:21,125 --> 00:11:22,625
- Smooth.
- Thanks.
187
00:11:22,708 --> 00:11:24,248
- Sarcasm.
- Paris.
188
00:11:24,333 --> 00:11:28,253
One of his compatriots was,
and I quote, "jonesing for crêpes."
189
00:11:28,333 --> 00:11:29,333
Ma'am...
190
00:11:30,792 --> 00:11:32,382
the last resort has arrived.
191
00:11:32,458 --> 00:11:35,498
Whoa, whoa.
"Last resort" sounds very final.
192
00:11:35,583 --> 00:11:38,383
This is Earth's first encounter
with alien life.
193
00:11:38,458 --> 00:11:41,328
How we respond today will set the tone
for diplomatic relations
194
00:11:41,417 --> 00:11:43,327
between our worlds for generations.
195
00:11:43,417 --> 00:11:47,667
"Diplomatic relations"?
Is that what the kids are calling it?
196
00:11:47,750 --> 00:11:48,880
You're wrong, Doctor.
197
00:11:48,958 --> 00:11:51,708
This isn't S.H.I.E.L.D.'s
first alien rodeo.
198
00:11:52,667 --> 00:11:56,377
A beeper? My dad has one!
He's a podiatrist.
199
00:11:56,458 --> 00:11:58,748
Wait, are you guys calling a podiatrist?
200
00:12:01,625 --> 00:12:02,625
It's done.
201
00:12:04,250 --> 00:12:07,210
Is it happening? Did it happen?
What'd I miss?
202
00:12:08,000 --> 00:12:09,790
All right, here we go. Nestle on in.
203
00:12:09,875 --> 00:12:12,705
- Everyone say "waffles." I love that word.
- Cheese.
204
00:12:12,792 --> 00:12:14,882
Waffles with maple syrup
and whipped cream on top.
205
00:12:14,958 --> 00:12:15,958
- Thor!
- Thor!
206
00:12:16,042 --> 00:12:17,422
He came! He's here!
207
00:12:17,917 --> 00:12:22,167
Oi! Where's that son of a witch,
Thor Odinson?
208
00:12:23,208 --> 00:12:25,128
What did you say?
209
00:12:25,208 --> 00:12:30,078
Fandral, tell me, is that butt-ugly
popsicle stick talking to me?
210
00:12:39,583 --> 00:12:41,503
- Bring it on in.
- I can't believe you came!
211
00:12:41,583 --> 00:12:43,673
Loki, you are the absolute best!
212
00:12:43,750 --> 00:12:45,750
You're my brother
from another mother, man. I mean that.
213
00:12:45,833 --> 00:12:47,633
- I mean it.
- Brothers forever.
214
00:12:47,708 --> 00:12:49,538
Brothers forever!
215
00:12:49,625 --> 00:12:50,915
Forever!
216
00:12:52,292 --> 00:12:54,632
Wait, what's that boom? Did you boom?
217
00:12:54,708 --> 00:12:56,578
No, I didn't boom.
Did you boom? You always boom.
218
00:12:56,667 --> 00:12:59,037
I never boom. I only boom in private.
219
00:12:59,125 --> 00:13:02,535
Oh, oh, oh. Loki, look,
it's a shooting star. Make a wish, quick!
220
00:13:02,625 --> 00:13:05,285
Yes, yes, a shooting star.
Yes, okay. I wish... I wish...
221
00:13:06,792 --> 00:13:09,422
I wish, I wish, I wish... I wish...
222
00:13:11,667 --> 00:13:13,827
- Uh... I've got it!
- What is it? Tell me.
223
00:13:13,917 --> 00:13:16,627
I couldn't possibly tell you.
It'll ruin the magic.
224
00:13:16,708 --> 00:13:17,708
Oh.
225
00:13:26,125 --> 00:13:29,035
Hey, Whitesnake. We need to chat.
226
00:13:29,125 --> 00:13:34,625
The name is Thor, with a "T"
and an "R" and an "O" and a "H."
227
00:13:34,708 --> 00:13:35,828
But not in that order.
228
00:13:35,917 --> 00:13:38,577
- Quite some party you're throwing.
- Isn't it the best?
229
00:13:38,667 --> 00:13:41,037
I mean, I'd hoped the Ice Bros would show,
230
00:13:41,125 --> 00:13:43,075
but Loki himself? Prince Loki?
231
00:13:43,167 --> 00:13:45,417
Are you kidding?
I wouldn't miss this for the world.
232
00:13:45,500 --> 00:13:48,420
Listen, bud, clean up this mess
and leave this planet.
233
00:13:48,500 --> 00:13:51,170
What? No, I like it here.
Everyone likes me.
234
00:13:51,250 --> 00:13:53,500
We're having a great time...
till you showed up.
235
00:13:53,583 --> 00:13:55,333
Party's over, pal.
236
00:13:55,417 --> 00:14:00,247
Mmm. Yeah, maybe here's a thought.
Uh, how about you just buzz off?
237
00:14:04,750 --> 00:14:05,750
Oh!
238
00:14:11,417 --> 00:14:13,327
I wasn't asking, hotshot.
239
00:14:14,917 --> 00:14:18,627
You know, there's a Midgardian word
for women like you.
240
00:14:20,375 --> 00:14:21,665
Party pooper.
241
00:14:22,500 --> 00:14:24,380
There. I said it.
242
00:14:24,458 --> 00:14:26,958
Okay, this one's for Fury.
243
00:14:31,417 --> 00:14:32,667
Now, for the rest of you...
244
00:14:40,917 --> 00:14:42,827
Have at you!
245
00:14:42,917 --> 00:14:45,127
Smooth move, bro. You just...
246
00:14:45,208 --> 00:14:46,828
Hammerang. Get it?
247
00:14:46,917 --> 00:14:49,207
Look, pal, I'm gonna count to three
248
00:14:49,292 --> 00:14:51,042
and you're gonna put the hammer down.
249
00:14:52,792 --> 00:14:55,132
Oh, here we go. Here we go.
250
00:14:58,500 --> 00:15:01,420
Hey, what did I tell you? Knock it off.
251
00:15:21,167 --> 00:15:22,747
Whoa.
252
00:15:23,542 --> 00:15:25,922
Hey, quit it. These are...
253
00:15:26,000 --> 00:15:29,880
I don't know what these are. No one does.
But... No! I said no! Stop.
254
00:15:29,958 --> 00:15:33,128
Oh, but I just have to do a little boop.
255
00:15:42,250 --> 00:15:45,710
Oh, no, your weird rocks
have all fallen over.
256
00:15:45,792 --> 00:15:47,212
Boo-hoo-hoo-hoo.
257
00:15:51,000 --> 00:15:53,210
Ow!
258
00:16:02,583 --> 00:16:03,583
Party foul.
259
00:16:06,500 --> 00:16:09,500
Be right with you. Just one second.
260
00:16:10,125 --> 00:16:13,285
Ah, there it is. Whoo! Let's do this.
261
00:16:52,708 --> 00:16:54,828
You know, I'm starting to...
262
00:16:54,917 --> 00:16:56,957
Ow! Not the hair!
263
00:17:05,708 --> 00:17:07,458
Have at you!
264
00:17:42,375 --> 00:17:43,375
You know what you need?
265
00:17:43,458 --> 00:17:45,878
A stiff drink and two weeks in Hawaii?
266
00:17:45,958 --> 00:17:47,168
A time-out.
267
00:17:47,250 --> 00:17:50,460
My mother punished me with time-outs
all the time, but I never learned a thing.
268
00:17:50,542 --> 00:17:54,752
But maybe they'll work on you
because you're a party pooper.
269
00:17:54,833 --> 00:17:57,293
Hey, look, everyone! A party pooper.
270
00:17:57,375 --> 00:18:00,375
Pooper! Pooper! Pooper!
271
00:18:05,292 --> 00:18:07,132
Fury said you were the best.
272
00:18:07,208 --> 00:18:10,378
That your punch was equal
to ten nuclear bombs.
273
00:18:10,458 --> 00:18:12,708
That your cat could devour whole armies.
274
00:18:12,792 --> 00:18:14,832
You've got a cat? What's its name?
275
00:18:14,917 --> 00:18:15,957
Goose.
276
00:18:16,042 --> 00:18:18,082
Oh, Top Gun! You're Maverick!
277
00:18:18,167 --> 00:18:20,497
Is your ego writing checks
that your skills can't cash?
278
00:18:20,583 --> 00:18:21,673
- No.
- Yes.
279
00:18:22,333 --> 00:18:24,753
- Who are you?
- Darcy. Big fan.
280
00:18:24,833 --> 00:18:27,463
By the way, totally thought
you were gonna be a dude captain.
281
00:18:27,542 --> 00:18:29,462
But look at you, all not.
282
00:18:29,542 --> 00:18:32,752
If I exert my full powers,
I blow a crater in this planet.
283
00:18:32,833 --> 00:18:36,043
Taking down Kappa Kappa frat freak
won't be worth the fatalities.
284
00:18:36,125 --> 00:18:37,915
Ooh. What about South Dakota?
285
00:18:38,000 --> 00:18:39,630
Or North Dakota?
286
00:18:39,708 --> 00:18:42,418
Uh... I need to get this.
287
00:18:42,500 --> 00:18:45,500
So, uh, do you need an intern?
Cat wrangler?
288
00:18:45,583 --> 00:18:47,753
Darcy, right now,
you're running at an eight,
289
00:18:47,833 --> 00:18:49,673
and I need you to take it down to a four.
290
00:18:49,750 --> 00:18:51,130
Okay?
291
00:18:51,208 --> 00:18:52,378
- Hello?
- Jane!
292
00:18:52,458 --> 00:18:54,288
- Hey!
- When can I see you again?
293
00:18:54,375 --> 00:18:57,415
You're the nicest, prettiest
Midgardian woman I've ever met.
294
00:18:57,500 --> 00:18:59,290
How many Earth women have you met?
295
00:18:59,375 --> 00:19:01,285
Uh, two. But the other one
hit me with a bridge
296
00:19:01,375 --> 00:19:02,995
and, well, that hurt more than my face.
297
00:19:05,417 --> 00:19:07,497
Thor, be honest with me.
298
00:19:07,583 --> 00:19:11,293
At your last party on Alpha Star,
did you really destroy that planet?
299
00:19:11,375 --> 00:19:14,325
No, no, it was more of a meteor anyway,
not a planet.
300
00:19:14,417 --> 00:19:17,287
And it was burning apart,
so we just kinda helped it along and...
301
00:19:17,375 --> 00:19:18,495
So no one got hurt?
302
00:19:18,583 --> 00:19:19,883
- Of course not.
- Dr. Foster?
303
00:19:19,958 --> 00:19:22,208
Even the baby goat, Gary, got home safely.
304
00:19:22,292 --> 00:19:23,712
- Eventually.
- Dr. Foster.
305
00:19:23,792 --> 00:19:25,752
Uh, I gotta go. Love you. Oh.
306
00:19:25,833 --> 00:19:27,463
I mean, bye.
307
00:19:29,000 --> 00:19:30,170
What were we talking about?
308
00:19:30,250 --> 00:19:32,040
Look, all I'm saying is,
309
00:19:32,125 --> 00:19:34,705
no one would notice
if you blew up a Dakota.
310
00:19:34,792 --> 00:19:36,212
Honestly, I can't tell them apart.
311
00:19:36,292 --> 00:19:37,832
South Dakota is on the bottom.
312
00:19:37,917 --> 00:19:39,127
It's not a bad idea.
313
00:19:39,208 --> 00:19:40,998
The Mojave Desert could withstand the hit.
314
00:19:41,083 --> 00:19:43,713
Lure him to Siberia
and then go kaboom on his ass.
315
00:19:45,125 --> 00:19:47,955
You're not serious.
We're not gonna kaboom him.
316
00:19:48,042 --> 00:19:49,632
We're talking about the fate
of the planet.
317
00:19:49,708 --> 00:19:52,918
He's a lughead, sure, and far from
the brightest crayon in the box.
318
00:19:53,000 --> 00:19:57,250
But this plan is way over the top,
and I refuse to let it happen.
319
00:19:57,333 --> 00:20:00,463
Thank you for your expertise, Dr. Foster,
320
00:20:00,542 --> 00:20:03,332
but your assistance is no longer required.
321
00:20:06,458 --> 00:20:09,538
Damn! There goes my internship
with the Galactic Queen Bee.
322
00:20:09,625 --> 00:20:14,575
Well, look who came waddling back.
Mrs. the Duck.
323
00:20:14,667 --> 00:20:17,037
- Not now, Howard!
- Hello, Thor?
324
00:20:17,125 --> 00:20:18,875
- Who's this?
- It's Jane. Can you hear me?
325
00:20:18,958 --> 00:20:22,248
Wait. Is this the girl?
Thor's new sweet lady? Hello.
326
00:20:22,333 --> 00:20:23,383
Is Thor there?
327
00:20:23,458 --> 00:20:27,248
Late-night Chinese is the best.
Oh, I love food.
328
00:20:27,333 --> 00:20:30,213
Loki, get your blue butt over here.
You have to try these dumplings.
329
00:20:30,292 --> 00:20:33,462
Hey, Earth girl.
You haven't got a friend, have you?
330
00:20:33,542 --> 00:20:35,332
You know, we could double date.
331
00:20:35,417 --> 00:20:38,077
Ugh! Will you just put him on the phone?
332
00:20:38,167 --> 00:20:40,497
Oh, don't get your knickers in a twist.
He's right here... Oh!
333
00:20:44,167 --> 00:20:46,167
Oh. Right.
334
00:20:46,250 --> 00:20:47,420
Hello? Loki?
335
00:20:48,042 --> 00:20:51,132
Hey, hey. Watch the feathers.
336
00:20:51,208 --> 00:20:53,668
- Too bad we can't call his mom.
- What?
337
00:20:53,750 --> 00:20:54,880
That's what always happens.
338
00:20:54,958 --> 00:20:57,168
Teenagers throw a party,
it gets out of control...
339
00:20:57,250 --> 00:20:59,170
- Oh, you really are a genius.
- Whoa.
340
00:20:59,250 --> 00:21:02,500
It's really starting to look that way,
isn't it? What'd I say?
341
00:21:02,583 --> 00:21:05,043
If there's a Thor and a Loki,
342
00:21:05,125 --> 00:21:09,535
then there must be an Odin
and a Frigga and a Heimdall!
343
00:21:09,625 --> 00:21:10,785
Uh, he-man-who-now?
344
00:21:15,708 --> 00:21:20,288
You know, I've got a crown too,
and we both like fire, right?
345
00:21:20,375 --> 00:21:22,575
Come on. Let's see you turn up
the heat on this thing.
346
00:21:22,667 --> 00:21:25,707
Uh... Ooh, look at the time.
347
00:21:30,333 --> 00:21:33,423
How low can I go?
348
00:21:40,083 --> 00:21:42,963
Everyone! Watch me slide down
that pointy thing.
349
00:21:46,125 --> 00:21:47,125
And away!
350
00:21:49,417 --> 00:21:51,247
Whoo!
351
00:22:02,542 --> 00:22:06,962
This one goes here. Green in the thing.
Okay, sweet. Good to go.
352
00:22:07,042 --> 00:22:08,132
Selvig, thank you.
353
00:22:08,208 --> 00:22:11,328
Re-aligning the satellites,
magnifying the signal.
354
00:22:13,458 --> 00:22:15,288
Heimdall!
355
00:22:17,333 --> 00:22:20,253
- It's not working.
- Okay, okay. My turn. I got this.
356
00:22:20,333 --> 00:22:23,673
Would the owner of the navy blue Prius...
357
00:22:38,208 --> 00:22:41,708
Hi. So, uh, about Thor...
358
00:22:48,083 --> 00:22:51,043
Not cool. I actually felt that one.
359
00:22:56,833 --> 00:22:58,883
- We're in position.
- Arm the nukes.
360
00:22:58,958 --> 00:23:00,998
What? But I thought she was the nuke.
361
00:23:01,083 --> 00:23:03,133
Just in case she gets distracted by a cat.
362
00:23:05,167 --> 00:23:09,957
Uh... Hello, Mrs. Odinwife?
363
00:23:10,667 --> 00:23:12,417
Uh, is that Chardonnay?
364
00:23:12,500 --> 00:23:15,290
A varietal, yes. Can I help you?
365
00:23:15,375 --> 00:23:18,035
Why do you insist on crushing my mellow?
366
00:23:18,125 --> 00:23:20,535
Huh? Loosen up. Have fun. Smile a little.
367
00:23:21,792 --> 00:23:23,212
Ready to fire on your command.
368
00:23:23,292 --> 00:23:25,172
Fire in five...
369
00:23:25,250 --> 00:23:28,580
I gave you a warning.
Hell, I gave you a warning punch.
370
00:23:28,667 --> 00:23:31,327
- Four.
- It's Thor. He's in trouble.
371
00:23:33,333 --> 00:23:35,083
- Three.
- He's on Earth.
372
00:23:36,083 --> 00:23:37,633
Two.
373
00:23:38,958 --> 00:23:40,878
- What about Captain Marvel?
- She'll be fine.
374
00:23:40,958 --> 00:23:42,458
One.
375
00:23:45,625 --> 00:23:50,665
Thor, Crown Prince of Asgard,
only son of Odin, what are you doing?
376
00:23:50,750 --> 00:23:52,080
- Mother!
- Mother?
377
00:23:52,167 --> 00:23:53,207
Mother?
378
00:23:53,292 --> 00:23:54,632
What are you doing here?
379
00:23:54,708 --> 00:23:57,628
You must be using a lot of dark magic
just to check in on me.
380
00:23:57,708 --> 00:24:01,168
Ugh, I had a visitor.
She's worried about you.
381
00:24:01,250 --> 00:24:03,630
Wha... Jane sold me out?
382
00:24:03,708 --> 00:24:05,538
She said you were on Midgard.
383
00:24:05,625 --> 00:24:07,325
Well, she is mistaken.
384
00:24:07,417 --> 00:24:10,247
I'm obviously in my room, studying.
385
00:24:13,792 --> 00:24:17,382
Do not tell falsehoods to your mother.
386
00:24:17,458 --> 00:24:21,578
Oh, you mean Earth.
Sorry, I misunderstood.
387
00:24:21,667 --> 00:24:24,787
The locals call it that.
Yes, right. Sorry.
388
00:24:24,875 --> 00:24:26,415
Confused there for a moment.
389
00:24:26,500 --> 00:24:30,920
Me and my study group came down here
for a cultural exchange.
390
00:24:31,000 --> 00:24:33,380
"Cultural exchange."
391
00:24:33,458 --> 00:24:35,708
You know us. We're warriors for knowledge.
392
00:24:35,792 --> 00:24:39,422
Hmm. Really?
Then this I have to see for myself.
393
00:24:39,500 --> 00:24:41,380
I'm cutting my trip short.
394
00:24:41,458 --> 00:24:42,748
You're coming here?
395
00:24:42,833 --> 00:24:48,463
And, my sweet son, I expect to see
your full syllabus when I arrive.
396
00:24:49,833 --> 00:24:51,213
Now or never, Hill.
397
00:24:51,833 --> 00:24:53,463
Stand down. We're done here.
398
00:24:53,542 --> 00:24:56,172
We never get to fire the nukes.
399
00:24:56,250 --> 00:24:57,960
I almost feel bad for you, Blondie.
400
00:24:58,042 --> 00:25:00,962
Please, you must help me.
My mother is coming.
401
00:25:01,042 --> 00:25:04,712
My suggestion? Start in the corners,
clean your way outward.
402
00:25:07,083 --> 00:25:08,173
Corners, corners...
403
00:25:08,250 --> 00:25:10,290
But it's a sphere.
404
00:25:11,250 --> 00:25:15,880
Ugh. Excuse me, ladies. I'm sorry,
but I must leave early. Again.
405
00:25:17,583 --> 00:25:19,963
Loki, my brother.
I require your assistance.
406
00:25:20,042 --> 00:25:22,292
Ah, one step ahead of you, Tiny Thunder.
407
00:25:22,375 --> 00:25:25,705
My bro's trying this thing in St. Louis.
Saint... Is it "Louie"?
408
00:25:25,792 --> 00:25:27,382
Anyway, we're about to make
409
00:25:27,458 --> 00:25:29,918
this universe's greatest slingshot.
410
00:25:30,000 --> 00:25:32,040
Try to enjoy
the rest of your time here.
411
00:25:32,125 --> 00:25:34,705
See you in another thousand years.
Heimdall.
412
00:25:36,250 --> 00:25:40,210
No more slingshots. No more destruction.
We need to clean this mess up and go home.
413
00:25:42,167 --> 00:25:43,667
Ugh! Now!
414
00:25:44,833 --> 00:25:47,963
Ha!
Nice one. Almost fell for it.
415
00:25:48,042 --> 00:25:50,882
I'm not joking. My mother is coming.
416
00:25:57,125 --> 00:25:58,125
Hmm.
417
00:25:58,208 --> 00:25:59,708
But she's not my mother.
418
00:25:59,792 --> 00:26:02,292
You know, I'm your brother
from another mother, remember?
419
00:26:02,375 --> 00:26:04,825
Come on, Ice Bros, let's go.
420
00:26:04,917 --> 00:26:06,747
Wait. You can't leave. Look at this place.
421
00:26:06,833 --> 00:26:09,333
We have a duty to this planet.
You need to clean it up.
422
00:26:09,417 --> 00:26:12,127
"Duty, clean"? Ugh, you sound like Odin.
423
00:26:12,208 --> 00:26:13,288
What?
424
00:26:13,375 --> 00:26:14,705
Ice Men, let's bounce.
425
00:26:18,375 --> 00:26:20,125
All right, listen, party's over.
426
00:26:20,208 --> 00:26:23,208
You don't have to go home,
but you can't stay.
427
00:26:23,292 --> 00:26:25,172
Wait, where you going? Come back.
428
00:26:25,250 --> 00:26:26,380
No, no, no, no, no.
429
00:26:26,458 --> 00:26:29,458
You do have to stay here,
and we need to clean up.
430
00:26:29,542 --> 00:26:31,752
Look who's pooping the party now.
431
00:26:31,833 --> 00:26:34,383
It is you! You are pooping the party.
432
00:26:34,458 --> 00:26:35,828
Where you going? Come back!
433
00:26:35,917 --> 00:26:38,207
Let's go, Topaz.
We shall ride like the wind.
434
00:26:38,292 --> 00:26:39,582
- Please! Wait.
- Loser.
435
00:26:39,667 --> 00:26:41,287
And we're keeping the scoot-scoots.
436
00:26:41,375 --> 00:26:44,625
Guys, please. Help, I...
You. How about you?
437
00:26:44,708 --> 00:26:47,958
Uh... I think I hear my dad calling.
Good luck.
438
00:26:53,292 --> 00:26:57,542
People. Beings.
Please, everyone, you must stay and help.
439
00:27:00,417 --> 00:27:02,957
Allfather, give me strength.
440
00:27:08,375 --> 00:27:10,325
You will listen to me.
441
00:27:12,292 --> 00:27:14,132
My mother is coming.
442
00:27:14,208 --> 00:27:17,998
- Frigga?
- And she is not happy.
443
00:27:18,083 --> 00:27:20,213
Like, at all.
444
00:27:20,292 --> 00:27:21,582
She's really mad.
445
00:27:38,125 --> 00:27:39,205
Yeah, baby.
446
00:28:02,167 --> 00:28:03,167
Thor.
447
00:28:05,250 --> 00:28:09,080
Oh, hello, Mother. Good to see you.
Welcome to our study group.
448
00:28:09,167 --> 00:28:10,997
Uh...
449
00:28:11,083 --> 00:28:13,003
Everyone say hello to Mother.
450
00:28:13,083 --> 00:28:14,713
Hello, Mother Frigga.
451
00:28:14,792 --> 00:28:17,502
And to end our studies,
what do we always say, class?
452
00:28:17,583 --> 00:28:19,503
Learning is magic.
453
00:28:20,792 --> 00:28:24,382
See? I told you I was on an educational
and cultural exchange.
454
00:28:24,458 --> 00:28:27,538
Did you know that Midgard
is the birthplace of the Snuggie?
455
00:28:29,875 --> 00:28:32,075
Mother, you doubt?
456
00:28:34,125 --> 00:28:36,375
But look at all this learning, huh?
457
00:28:43,625 --> 00:28:46,875
Thor, here's the information
you requested on human civilizations.
458
00:28:46,958 --> 00:28:50,878
And I loaded a few documentaries,
PBS specials, NPR podcasts.
459
00:28:50,958 --> 00:28:52,628
I'll call you next week to discuss it.
460
00:28:52,708 --> 00:28:58,288
So tiny yet contains so, so much.
Thank you.
461
00:28:58,375 --> 00:29:00,495
You must be Frigga. I'm Captain Marvel.
462
00:29:00,583 --> 00:29:05,293
I know who you are.
Thank you for helping educate my son.
463
00:29:05,375 --> 00:29:06,995
- Let's go, darling.
- Wait.
464
00:29:07,083 --> 00:29:09,173
Almost forgot.
465
00:29:12,292 --> 00:29:14,042
Uh...
466
00:29:14,125 --> 00:29:15,455
Mother, I can explain.
467
00:29:25,125 --> 00:29:26,785
- Hi.
- Thanks.
468
00:29:26,875 --> 00:29:28,495
You called my mother on me.
469
00:29:28,583 --> 00:29:30,173
That wasn't a cool thing to do,
470
00:29:30,250 --> 00:29:33,080
but it was the right thing. So, thank you.
471
00:29:34,667 --> 00:29:35,917
You're welcome.
472
00:29:36,000 --> 00:29:38,420
I'll call you? Cools?
473
00:29:38,500 --> 00:29:40,460
No, it is not "cools."
474
00:29:40,542 --> 00:29:41,752
No?
475
00:29:41,833 --> 00:29:44,793
But I thought we had something.
I really like you, Jane.
476
00:29:44,875 --> 00:29:47,955
And not just because you're a genius.
You're also very attractive and...
477
00:29:48,542 --> 00:29:50,212
Well, then, ask me out on a date.
478
00:29:50,292 --> 00:29:51,712
Oh.
479
00:29:51,792 --> 00:29:55,632
Jane Foster, it would be my honor
to take you on a date.
480
00:29:55,708 --> 00:30:00,788
Before you answer, let me say that
I know a whole planet full of unicorns.
481
00:30:00,875 --> 00:30:02,535
Even the waiters are unicorns...
482
00:30:02,625 --> 00:30:05,415
- It's wonderful.
- Sounds delightful. Pick me up at 8:00?
483
00:30:16,333 --> 00:30:19,753
A world restored,
love blossoming.
484
00:30:19,833 --> 00:30:24,003
As children,
both human and Asgardian, say,
485
00:30:24,083 --> 00:30:27,923
together, they lived happily ever after.
486
00:30:29,000 --> 00:30:30,000
Wait, what?
487
00:30:30,083 --> 00:30:31,083
Huh?
488
00:30:35,375 --> 00:30:39,705
Oh, dear.
Perhaps I spoke too soon.
36743
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Galician
Georgian
German
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof