Original subtitles

Gilbert, you better get up. They are here.

- I am up. - You OK?

- Yeah. - You sure?

Sure I am sure.

- Remember the first time you left home? - Yes.

I was just as scared as you are.

I am not scared. I just don't like leaving you here alone.

I am okay. I was okay when you went to computer camp.

Mom, that was only for two weeks.

I can take care of myself. I am more worried about you.

I will be just fine. I will not be alone. I got Lewis.

Gilbert? Come on, rise and shine.

Dad's waiting in the car. It's all packed.

Hi, Flo. It's a beautiful day

It will be a great year. I figure with lunch and two ARVs,

we should be driving 7 hours, 18 minutes and 7 seconds.

- ARVs? - Average restroom visit.

Oh, I am proud of you boys.

Come on, Gilbert. Let's go to college.

Hey, Lewis, what is your time? I want to determine our exact ETA.

Time is two thirty seven. Dad, how fast are we going?

the cruise control is set at 35.

Adams College, home of the Atoms.

Gilbert, this will be great.

I hope so. What if it is not?

Don't be so negative. We will have a fantastic time.

I am not negative. I am nervous.

Don't be. Everything will be great.

- Just like high school, right? - This is college.

Remember, there are 6,127 students at the school.

- 58 per cent of them are girls. - So?

So that's 7,107.32 breasts.

You college guys are all alike. All you really want is sex.

I wish I was going with you.

Dad!

Wow! This campus is awesome.

It is bigger than I expected. Maybe we should have gone to City Tech.

Tech is nothing. Adams has the best computer department in the country.

You are right. Adams is best.

Well, boys... I mean men...here we are.

It is a big opportunity for you guys. You will do well.

I am proud of you. Your father would be proud too, Gilbert.

Yes Mr Skolnick. Don't tell mom I was nervous. She would worry.

- Certainly. No problem. - Thanks.

Hey, Lewis, come here. Sit down.

I envy you, Lewis.

This is one of the best colleges in the country.

You will do well here.

Try not to break too many hearts.

That has not been a problem yet.

Come on, you will make some lucky girl very happy.

You are smart, easy going.

have your father's good looks.

you have a great sense of humour. I have faith in you, son.

- Thanks, Dad. I will not let you down. - I know.

Gilbert, help me with the box.

-Gilbert? - Yes, sir?

College is not like high school.

You will be on your own. take care of yourself.

I will. But I won't be alone. I have Lewis.

Besides, we are college men now, right?

- Right.

It is easier to get it down.

Stop, guys. This is an historic moment.

All right, say "cheese".

Cheese!

Got it.

Bye, Dad.

Bye. Thanks for the ride.

- You Okay? - Yeah.

- Bye, Mr Skolnick! - Drive careful, Dad.

Watch out!

- Sorry. - Excuse us.

Gilbert, I feel different already.

more mature.

Looks like we are in for a change.

Yes. Parties, meeting new people. This is really great.

- I don't know. - Just relax. Be yourself.

Like Davy Crockett said - be sure you are right, then go ahead.

Ogre! Ogre! Ogre! Ogre!

- Anyway, college is a new adventure. - Nerds!

- People judge you different in colledge. - Nerds!

Nerds!

Nerds!

- Where are they? - I think they are talking about us.

- No way. - Nerds!

- Nerds! Nerds! - Nerds! Nerds!

Come on, Lewis, let's go.

Ogre!

Fill her up, baby!

All right!

OK, everybody, listen! It is time for stair diving!

- Well, Gilbert, here is our new home. - Can not believe we finally succeded.

Lewis, if you do not want the bed by the window, I want it.

- You have it. - Thanks.

- You know, this is a great room. - Yes. Definite possibilities.

Do you think we can have a little refrigerator for snacks?

Are you kidding, Gilbert? We can put a fridge and a microwave there.

That is a good place for an entertainment centre, too.

Great.

That's just the beginning. We will have the best room on campus.

I don't know about the best. It will be the messiest.

Relax, Gilbert. Remember, we got it covered.

This robot will be better than a maid.

It will help with the women, too.

- Women? - Yeah.

Let's say one of us is here with a woman.

This is our warning device, so we do not enter the room.

Wait a minute. Can we have girls in our room?

Not girls, Gilbert. Women. We are college men now.

- Gollege is great? - It will be a great year.

Come on, Betty. Show me what you got.

Gable, look at this. Look at this. This is outrageous.

- What is it? - Just try it.

Oh! You OK?

- Burke! What is this? - 188 percent.

It's called a fireball. Watch. Take that. Flame, buddy. Flame!

Can you do it again? Do it again.

Fireball. Fireball. Fireball. Fireball.

One more! One more! One more! Fireball.

Fireball! Fireball! Fireball! Fireball!

Oh, shit!

Our house, our house is burning down

Our house, our house, our house is burning down

Our house, our house, our house is burning down

Our house, our house, our house is burning down

It must be the wiring. The fire department does not agree.

Dean, if my boys say it was wiring, you must believe them.

Dean, school should be more careful.

We have a big game soon. I don't want my boys worried about accomodation.

They should have considered that before they burnt their house down.

What is done, is done. Where can I put my athletes?

- The new entrant dorm? - What about the students there now?

Ok. because of faulty wiring, we have no place to live. Right?

- Right! - These new boys are spoilt in there!

- So now, that dorm is ours! Right? - Yeah!

Any room you want. Ready? Break!

Do not come back!

There's your roommate, pal!

If everyone follows directions,

we can manage this move with little inconvenience.

All right, men. Everybody listen. We are moving out. Right now!

Move it! Move it! Move, move, move!

Get out of here!

All right, listen. I will make sure you are all taken care of.

we will provide the best possible food, shelter and accommodation.

- We will try to provide you... - Now let's move it out!

Move it! Move, move, move! Move it!

Move it!

Get out of here!

Nerds! Nerds! Nerds! Nerds! Nerds! Nerds! Nerds!

I know this move has been sudden for you,

and you are probably disoriented.

I assure you, this move is not permanent. It's only temporary.

Look. We have provided accommodation that is... quite acceptable.

It will be a nice place to enjoy your studies.

I don't want to go to college.

You have a special gift. College can develop it.

I want to be with people my age.

You will be with people your age when you are older.

But do not abandon me in a gymnasium. We look like refugees from a war.

We must go now, honey. Your dad has an appointment.

Bye, son.

It is really very comfortable here.

Does anyone here have allergies?

Me too. You people with allergies,

you can request a foam rubber pillow.

Also, there is a television for your viewing pleasure.

It is a black and white television.

More good news. Because of the housing situation,

The new entrant class can join and live in fraternities.

Yeah!

The fraternities will select new members tomorrow.

All right! Enough of this nonsense. Grab a bed.

Move it or lose it!

Go, son.

Move!

Move, move, move, move, move!

The Delta Kappa Gamma fraternity has selected its new members

Oliver Scott and Bill Daniels.

For those of you who were not selected,

you will not be left out in the cold.

You can stay here in the gym for as long as you like.

until basketball season.

Please answer when I call your names.

Poindexter, Arnold.

Latrelle, Lamar.

Lamar Latrelle.

Worm, Harold.

Here.

Takashi, Toshiro.

Ah, here, sir.

Dawson, Dudley.

Call me "Booger".

All right... Booger.

Rakhim, Raj.

Ah, excuse, please, Why do they call you "Booger"?

I don't know.

Posquito, Lawrence.

Daniels, Paul.

I knew nobody would select us, Lewis.

It is probably not finished yet. There is a fraternity for us.

Dooley, Edward.

Yozonski, Yosef.

- Wait a second. Are you sure? - Gilbert, yes. Come on.

Hi, girls.

Are you guys looking to join a sorority?

A sorority?

No!

We need some help. We hope you pretty girls can suggest a fraternity.

Choosing a good fraternity is a most important life decision.

- definitely. - Guys, you must choose carefully.

- Definitely. - Tell us what fraternity is good for us.

- You guys are Alpha Beta fraternity. - Definitely. For sure.

What? Wait. Alpha Betas guys are all atheletes and agressive types

Yes. But you guys have special qualities I know they will be interested.

- I will tell them you are coming. - Should we ask for a particular person?

- Stan Gable. - And you are?

Betty Childs.

Thank you, Betty. Miss Childs.

Maybe when you are not busy we could have coffee or something.

Come on, pal.

I can not believe you asked her out.

You know, if we get in, maybe we can have our old room.

These guys will never accept us. Why not?

These are the Alpha Betas. They are the football players.

I don't think Ms Childs would send us here

if she did not think we had a decent chance of getting in.

- Yes? - Hi.

Tell Stan Gable that Betty Childs sent us here.

Follow me, boys.

Gilbert!

Welcome.

Hi.

Hey!

You guys seem acceptable. Take these for later.

Condoms? What do we need condoms for?

Let the initiation begin.

Have you ever made love to a woman?

- Yes. - No.

- No. - Yes.

Liars!

All right, let's go for the burn.

- OK, Takashi, what have you got? - Oh, I think I have a thrush.

- What the hell is a "thrush"? - A frush.

I got two sevens, and two sevens beats a flush.

Oh, thank you.

- Oh! - Jesus.

So, choosing a good fraternity is most important for your life, huh?

That cheerleader set us up, Lewis.

I don't think Betty Childs is that kind of person, Gilbert.

Hey, Lewis?

What is it, Gilbert?

I am sorry that I growled at you. This gym is really upsetting me.

It's Okay. I understand.

Tomorrow morning we will find a better place to live, OK?

- Good night, Gilbert. - Good night, Lewis.

- Good night, Lamar. - Good night, Wormser.

- Good night, Takashi. - Good night, Poindexter.

Good night, Booger.

Hey, relax. The computer is your friend.

I was not meant to interface with a machine.

Well, you are just beginning. Relax.

It's no use. It is inhuman.

It is not inhuman. Only humans can be inhuman.

Here, let me show you.

Working with a computer is great.

I think, it is godlike, in a way,

You can have complete control.

- That's good. - Thanks.

You know, some people, Can create with their hands.

But when you work with a computer, you build things with your mind.

Skilled people can do something no one has seen before.

It is a definite exciting.

Uh... what is your name?

- Judy. - Hi, Judy. Gilbert.

- Very nice to meet you. - Nice meeting you.

- Hello, Lewis. - Hi, Gilbert.

- Did you find a house? - No.

I met a girl.

Gilbert!

- Her name's Judy. - Judy is a nice name, Gilbert.

- Yeah. She's a nice girl. - Big deal. Did you get in her pants?

- She is not that kind of a girl. - Why? Does she have a penis?

Will you eat this?

- Smell this one, nerd. - Oh, Coach, Coach.

I must find a place to live. Can I leave early?

No.

Oh, OK.

- Do you know karate? - No.

Good.

I programmed him with all the local rental houses.

For best efficiency, You each have a part of the list.

This will prevent doubles. We can traverse the area quickly.

Booger.

Worm.

Toshiro.

Nerd!

- Hi. - All right?

- Mr Wilson? - Yeah.

Just checking.

Hi there, big boy.

Hi. I came about the room for rent.

It is right next to mine. It is perfect for us.

Who is there? What do you want?

- Is this the Stewart residence? - Why are you here? What do you want?

- I have come about the room. - Go away.

- Do you have a room to rent? - Not for rent.

- I thought it was for rent. - Get lost.

- Hi, Judy. - Hi, Gilbert.

- How are you? - Good. Where are you going?

I must find a place to live.

- It's horrible you must live in the gym. - Oh, yeah, well...

- What is that? Is that yours? - It's my accordion.

- You play the accordion? - Yeah.

- I love the accordion. - Really?

- Are you very good? - No, not really.

I am going to class. Do you want to walk with me?

sure. Oh, no. Here, let me get it.

I think I found a house.

Finally!

I think it is fantastic

Welcome.

- Do you feel anything yet, Takashi? - Oh, Booger, I feel nothing.

You better have another try.

Oh, this counter. Could be good.

- Do you feel anything now? - Oh, no.

I feel... nothing... at all.

How about now?

I cannot believe what they have done to that house.

That is amazing.

- Looks terrific, Stan - It will not look terrific for long.

What are you looking at, nerd? Huh?

I thought I was looking at my mother's old toilet rag, but that's in Ohio.

Seven and eight. And stretch those arms.

Come on. Looks great. Come on, Wormser.

- Morning, Poindexter. - Uh.

Excuse me.

Ah, thank you very much.

OK, Takashi, show me your cards.

Two and four kings. Is that good?

No, you have too many kings. So you must dispose of these here.

Remove three of these kings, Replace them with... three fresh cards.

Oh, OK. Thank you.

- When do I deal? - You must win once first.

I said we would find a better place.

Yeah. This is much better than the dorm.

It says "Nerds get out."

What is a nerd?

We are.

I do not know what is wrong with this world. see that man over there?

We arrested him for mopery.

- What's mopery? - Exposing your body to a blind person.

I am sorry about your windows. It's out of my jurisdiction.

Looks like a fraternity prank. Only one organisation can handle this.

What organisation?

The Greek Council.

Our next order of business: New membership.

Earl, bring in the petitioners.

Kneel, gentlemen.

You are the gentlemen who want to make a fraternity?

Yes, sir.

Gentlemen, as president of the Greek Council,

I am sorry to inform you Your membership is denied.

Excuse me, but... why?

you must have a national fraternity as your sponsor.

Do you have one?

No.

- I believe he is right. - But with a national sponsor, we are in

Right, right. So I guess we will see you in about ... twenty years.

"Dear sirs, thank you for applying to Delta Fraternity."

We considered your application, You will never be good enough

"In future, we recommend you do not include a group photo."

That is 29 rejections so far. Did we send pictures to everybody?

Yes. Everybody except for... Lambda Lambda Lambda.

Here is one that will see us.

Lambda Lambda Lambda?

Yeah. They will love us.

As you know, we have no fraternity at Adams College,

That is why we agreed to see you.

But gentlemen, I must say, you have little chance of becoming members.

This is a difficult situation.

I mean, after all...

you are nerds.

According to your bylaws, you must give us a sixty day trial.

- I beg your pardon? - According to your bylaws...

He is right. Any group that applies can become a probationary fraternity.

May I see that, please?

Thank you.

Well, gentlemen... you are now a probationary fraternity.

- Hey. - Great. We can have a party?

Please celebrate with us to make sure we are acceptable, OK?

- Great. - We will not let you down.

We will have the highest grade point average of any chapter you have.

We will not discriminate. Our chapter will be open to all races and creeds.

And sexual orientation.

Wonderful.

Hi. Remember me?

- No. - We will have a party Saturday night.

Do you want to come?

- No. - Oh, well...

Come on, get it up! Get it up! Come mon!

You are shit! You are nothing! You are scum! You suck!

- You are nice! - No, I am not!

- Stan? - That's the way, Ogre.

- What is up, Betty? Is something wrong? - Yeah

- What? - One of those nerds just asked me out.

- Which one? - I don't know. They all look the same.

- Yeah. - They can't get any women for their party.

- Oh, yeah? .. I will eat their ancestors. I will kill their parents!

No, Ogre. Ogre! Don't worry about it. Wait a second. Just wait a second.

Maybe we could help them.

- Yeah? - Yeah.

And I know just what to do.

Come here.

Put the bar here, the snacks over there, and pass the cheese puffs.

- Oh, good. - That sounds expensive.

This party is important. We must impress the Tri Lambs, or we will never get in.

- Maybe we can have robster craws. - What the hell are "robster craws"?

- Have any of you have dates? - I do.

- Yeah, but that's with a guy. - What about you, Booger?

I have been out searching the high schools all day.

- Should we cancel the party. - No, we can not cancel the party.

Mister Jefferson is coming. We Have to impress him.

We will never find dates.

Hello, Lambda, we are the Pies

And we are here to say

We think you are special guys

Lambdas all the way

Alpha Betas are OK

If you like sweat socks

We prefer your high intelligence

To their great big... jocks

Lambda Lambda Lambda boys

Really are the best

Will you take a piece of pie?

And we will do the rest

The sisters of Pie welcome our newest fraternity, Lambda Lambda Lambda.

Can we be your escorts at your party and help in any way possible.

- We got dates! - I have never been out with a girl.

Not just a girl, Poindexter, but a Pie.

- What is a Pie? - Hair pie.

What is that?

- Lewis, where are the Pies? - I don't know.

Their phone has been busy for two hours.

I don't think he is having a good time.

It must be the music. I will try some better music.

- Lewis? - Hi?

- Great party. - Thanks.

Where are all those girls you have dates with?

You know women, they are probably being fashionably late.

- The Pies are not going to come. - They stood us up.

- Yeah. - I can call my sorority sisters.

- You can? - Will they come?

They are really spontaneous people. I will call them.

Crush this ice for me, Arnold.

- Hey, guys, we got dates. - Who?

- Judy will invite the Omega girls over. - Oh, no, not those girls.

- Yeah. - They are a bunch of pigs.

- Hi. - Hi.

- Hi there. - Hi there.

- Hi. - Hi.

You can sing along. The words are easy.

"So I say I got to be free. So I say I got to be me."

So I say I got to be free

So I say I got to be me

I am saying you got to be...

Yeah!

This party is not going well, is it? I don't know why everybody is so tense.

I don't know too. Maybe we should eat.

Maybe we should watch TV.

Hey, guys.

Wonder joints.

They taste better than they look.

Picture time. Oh, good!

Oh, smile pretty, ladies.

Oh, thank you very much. Thank you.

Hair pie. Oh, hair pie.

Nothing. Nothing.

I have a link from this phone to the computer in the robot.

Hey, this is some good smoke.

Hair pie?

Thank you.

Hair pie?

- You built this yourself? - Yeah.

I think robots are sexy.

Me too. Really.

- Do you want to dance? - OK.

Damn! You girls sure can party!

- Let's go. - Where?

- Up to your room. - Up to my room?

Yeah.

Are you near sighted or far sighted?

- Near sighted. - So am I.

- Really? - Yeah. You want to swap glasses?

- We almost have the same prescription. - Yeah.

would you like to dance?

Yeah.

Yeah. In high school, I thought about the aerospace industry.

But in college, I want something more challenging.

So, I switched to computers,

and now aerodynamics is just a hobby.

Wait, wait. No, no, wait.

Do you prefer the ascendancy of a civilisation or the decline?

Poindexter, do you want sex or not?

You know, if we get into Lambda Lambda Lambda,

we could be partners in the homecoming carnival.

- That would be great. - Yeah. This party is a success.

Old MacDonald had a farm

And on that farm he had some pigs

We thought you could use some more pigs for your party, nerds.

With an oink oink here and an oink oink there

Here an oink, there an oink, everywhere an oink oink

Old MacDonald had a farm

We will never get into Lambda Lambda Lambda now.

Those athletes ruined everything.

I say we bomb their houses.

No. We can not be violent. That will lower us to their level.

- What do we do? - We must beat them at their game.

We must become the best fraternity on campus.

You know, if we win the homecoming carnival,

we can control the college Council. That will drive them crazy.

But, if the Tri Lambs, do not approve us we can not be a fraternity.

- I say we blow them up. - No. We can't do that.

But you are right.

Their action tonight demands an immediate retaliation.

And if we don't, we are nothing. Just the nerds they say we are.

I know what we will do.

Down, down, down.

Come on.

With an oink oink here and an oink oink there

Here an oink...

- Where? - Right there.

- Will this make a lot of noise? - It has a inbuilt silencer.

Camera. Periscope.

- Hey, Suzy. - Hi, Betty.

That was fun tonight. We were the highlight of their party.

- Those pigs were greasy. - I need to remove the smell.

Oh, I know.

- If Stan calls, tell him I will call him back, OK? - OK.

Panty raid!

Hey! What are you... What are you doing?

Give me those back! Come here!

Worm, how many cameras do we have left?

- Four. - OK.

Step aside, momma. I want see them naked.

Hair pie. Hair pie.

That nerd saw me naked.

Oh, get out! Out! Oh, out! Get out!

- Hi, buddy. - Hi.

College is great? This will be a great year.

Bastard! I will kill you!

Get out, jerk!

We love you when you are mad.

- Almost there, Worm? - This should do it.

- Oh. - Ah!

- Looks good. - This is a stationary camera.

We got Pies.

- Do you have other angles? - Something else?

- Go to their room. - Yeah.

- That is her. - Go to the right. Go to the right.

Arnold, that's the girl we saw.

- Go up. - Up?

Wait a second. Hold it there, Lamar. Do not move the camera.

I drink to that.

- Oh, yes. I like the pajamas. - Oh, that's very good.

- Can you go in that room? - Yeah.

Oh, here she comes.

God! Take your towel off, please.

Oh, yes!

Is she cold in there, or what?

Focus!

This is bullshit. I want bush. move down.

We have bush. We have bush.

Oh, hair pie!

Cleaning their teeth is boring. Is Betty up. Throw me a beer.

Thanks.

Oh, I am getting tired of Betty.

Are you kidding? Zoom in.

I am never tired of Betty. How can you be tired of that ass?

Oh, I see your point.

Are you still watching the Pies?

- Yes. - Have you been up all night?

Yes.

- Worm, have you not seen enough? - No.

I think we got revenge with the Pies.

Now we give the Athletes some revenge.

- Shit! Hank, what is that stuff? - Liquid Heat.

- It burns. - You should feel, when I do not dilute it.

Get them.

Make a pile here.

OK. Here goes.

OK. Don't touch, now.

- Here, hit this one. - OK. Looks like salad.

The homecoming event is the key to each season.

You win that one, you will get administration support.

You get your administration support, you get that athelete dormatory,

you get the laundry money, you get the new cars.

Now, this season started good - we won some big ball games.

But we were lucky.

We can not get soft. We can not sit and relax.

If we win the homecoming game, we take the league.

If we take the league, we get a superbowl offer.

It is as simple as that.

But, gentlemen, you have to want it.

- Do you want it? - Yeah!

- I can not hear you. - Yeah!

We can not relax. We must stay tough.

You can do it. You can do it.

You can do it. You can do it.

You must believe you can do it!

You must let them know you want it! I want it!

Good.

Shower!

Shit. We forgot to practise.

- You put what? - Liquid Heat.

- On their what? - In their groin cups.

- That is outrageous. - Are you angry, sir?

No. I am not angry.

I am glad to see you nerds... you guys finally fought back.

You are a good addition to Tri Lambda. I want to welcome you aboard.

- Congratulations. - All right!

- You will tell the guys? - Oh, I will.

OK, everybody ready?

OK, I focus now.

I set timer.

- Now say "Hi sir." - Hi, sir.

Well, I want to propose a toast to Mister Jefferson,

He, in his ultimate wisdom, chose to accept us

into our new fraternity, Lambda Lambda Lambda.

Lambda Lambda Lambda.

Before we vote on this I want to clearly state in the record...

Miss Childs...

the evidence is overwhelming against the Alpha Beta house,

and I urge they are found guilty.

Point of order.

Dean Ulich, I am an Alpha Beta,

I know that no member of my fraternity

could have done such a callous act against the nerds...

or the Tri Lambs.

Therefore, I feel a vote at this time is, shall we say, premature.

- Premature? - Yes.

You see, instead,

I will organise a special, fact finding commission,

made up of myself and... Miss Betty Childs.

We will get to the bottom of this terrible offence.

- Wait a minute, you can not do this this. - Oh, no, Actually, I can.

You see, only the president of the Greek Council can call a vote.

- That is completely unfair. - This is nonsense!

Meeting adjourned.

Guys, we will never get a fair result while Stan Gable is president.

The only way to become president is to win the homecoming carnival.

That's right, Arnold. And that's exactly what we will do.

I take great pleasure in opening this year's homecoming carnival.

The overall winner will be determined by total points from:

Number one - field events,

number two - the charity fund raising booth,

and number three - the musical competition.

And now, let the games begin!

To win this race, you will complete 20 laps around the track,

You must stop every lap for a mandatory drink,

The driver will drink a beer.

You have no chance, nerd.

thank you. Good luck to you, too, idiot. - Get lost.

Gentlemen, start your engines.

This special chemical removes all effects of alcohol in your system.

- Drink the whole beer. - Go! Go! Come on, Danny!

You got them! Kick his ass!

Go! Go! Go! Go!

- OK, OK. Come on. - Are you feeling OK?

- Oh, great! - Go! Go! Go!

Come on, baby! Yeah!

Come on!

- One more lap. - It is just you and the Alpha Betas.

- Danny, let that nerd win, it is not important! - No problem.

- He has no chance now. - Go, Takashi!

Go on! Let's go, Burke!

Oh, no!

All right! Come on! Go!

Ah, man, he is finished!

Come on, Burke! You are an Athlete!

Oh, I won!

Times are changing, Betty. These nerds threaten our lifestyle.

If they win homecoming, they will control the Greek Council.

And we will be up to our necks in nerd shit!

Our next competition is the Trojan Horse.

Come on! Get off! Get off!

- Ouch! - Yeah!

What are those athletes doing?

Ogre! Ogre! Ogre!

Get ready. Set.

oh, ah, Alpha Beta!

oh, ah...

Get ready. Set.

You win.

I am not keen about this event, but it is our college tradition.

The belching contest.

Our first of two finalists, Fred W Polo.

Ogre You Asshole.

Ogre.

And, from the Lambda Mu team, Dudley Dawson.

- Booger. - Booger.

This event is from ancient times - the javelin throw.

- All right, baby! - What did you expect?

You won it.

- Wait for Lamar to throw. - How come?

Worm is an aerodynamics expert. He designed the javelin to fit

with Lamar's limp wrist throwing style.

Worm, it worked!

I can't believe it. Did you see that?

I love you all. I love you all.

Thank you. Thank you.

The Alpha Beta Pie team leads. The Lambda Mus are a surprising second.

Now let us see what happens at the fund raising booths.

Eat a Pie for charity. Come on, let's go!

Take a break, Chip.

Hi.

- Hi, Betty. - A nerd.

- I will not kiss a nerd. - You must. I paid my money.

It is time for my break.

Kiss this, nerd.

- Stan? - Yeah?

I want to do it. The kissing has made me excited.

God, Betty. You are like a goat.

Next.

Stan!

did you change your mind.

I am glad. Come on.

Do you want to do it on the moon?

Take off your mask.

Oh, Stan.

You are so exciting.

Eat a Pie for charity. Come on, step right up. Come on, step up.

Eat Pie for charity. Thank you very much.

Eat a Pie for charity.

- Gable, how are we doing? ... Great. 1258 dollars. Better than last year.

- The nerds have over 2,000 dollars. - For selling pies?

Their queue goes around the corner. Guys are buying several pies each.

There is something odd about these pies. Come on, let's go look.

This is wrong. Ogre, go get a pie. Find out what they are doing.

Thanks, loser. Get yourself one.

- Well? How is it? - Good.

- Is it good, or is it great? - It is good.

Just good? Then why are they selling so many?

This why. oh.

That's my Pie.

Oh, Stan!

That was wonderful.

You did things to me That you never before.

- You are that nerd! - Yeah.

God, you were wonderful.

Thanks.

- Are all nerds as good as you? - Yes.

How come?

Because athletes only think about sport.

we always think about sex.

- What is your name? - Lewis.

Lewis... will you meet me after the rally tonight?

Sure.

They are equal. The music competition will decide the winner.

So, let the music begin!

Row, row, row your boat gently down the stream

Happy, happy, happy, happy

Life is just a dream

What did the Pink Panther say when he stepped on an ant?

Dead ant. Dead ant. Dead ant, dead ant, dead ant.

What is the most naughty thing ever said on television?

Tell me.

Husband, I think you were too strong on the Beaver last night."

Gable, Gable, he is our man. If he cannot do it, Burke can.

Burke, Burke, he is our man. If he cannot do it, Ogre can.

- Give me an A! - A!

- Give me a D! - D!

- Give me an A! - A!

- Give me an M! - M!

- Give me an S! - S!

- What's that spell? - Adams!

They always call him Mr football

They always call him Mr T

He can run and kick and throw

Give him the ball and watch him go

Hip, hip, hooray for Mr football

He is going to beat them today

So give a big cheer for the hero of the year

Mr football U.S.A . Hurrah!

Clap your hands, everybody Everybody clap your hands

We are Lambda Lambda Lambda and Omega Mu

We are on stage tonight to do our show for you

We have a rocking rhythm and a high tech sound

That will make you move your body down to the ground

We got Poindexter on the violin Lewis and Gilbert will join in

We got Booger on an angry guitar And a rap by little me, Lamar

We got Takashi hitting his gong

Boys and the girls are clapping along

just when you think you see it all

Along comes a Lambda four foot tall

Worm, come here on the floor

So we can move our bodies like never before

Break

I want to present the trophy to the champions,

Lambda Lambda Lambda and Omega Mu.

They can select the president of next year's College Council.

We made our selection already. It is Gilbert Lowe!

This sucks! I must work off this anger. Come on, Betty, let's lift weights.

No, Stan. I don't think so.

Why say, I do not think so? Come on, let's go. Why not?

I have a date with a nerd.

- A nerd! - Here is your pin.

Take it.

Wait. Betty...

Come on.

God! I am in love with a nerd!

- Gable. - Yeah, Coach.

I want to see you and the other girls in the locker room now!

Yes, sir.

You know, when you were a baby in your bed,

your father looked at you, he had one hope -

"Someday my son will grow to be a man."

Well, look at you now.

You got your asses whipped by a bunch of nerds.

Nerds!

Well, you should do something about that.

You should get up and redeem yourselves

in the eyes of my father, my Maker and my coach!

- Let's get those nerds! - Nerds!

Nerds!

What are we waiting for?!

We are Lambda Lambda Lambda and Omega Mu

Nerds! Nerds! Nerds! Nerds!

Come on!

Come on!

I am a nerd.

Welcome to the real world.

I never wanted to believe that.

- It's OK. - It's not OK.

We are nothing.

We let them destroy our house.

- We will control the Council next year. - Big deal!

You will be dead by then, Gilbert.

Nobody cares. Do you understand? The university does not care.

There is nothing we can do.

We have something good. I will not let them take it away.

Gilbert, don't be a fool. You will get hurt again.

- Big deal. - Gilbert?

Here are the men they will win a homecoming victory

against State tomorrow.

Defensive back, number 38, Kevin O'Leary.

Offensive guard, number 64, Rich Valrow.

At centre, number 53, Harry Reagan.

- Look who is coming. - Where you going?

You went too far this time, you will not get away with it.

Is that right? let's see if shit floats. What do you think of that idea?

Come on! Put me down! Put me down!

Fire away!

Now our tri-captains.

wide receiver, number 84, Danny Burke.

Defensive captain, number 79, Fred Polo - the Ogre.

Quarterback, number ten, Stan Gable.

Hold it, son. Hold it, hold it!

Leave him alone. Coach, I said leave him alone.

What did you say? I will break his neck.

You will do nothing. Don't touch that boy.

Says who?

Says me... you asshole.

Hold it, Coach. You stop right there.

Alright, kid.

Say what you must say.

Thanks.

I just want to say ... I am a nerd.

I am here to stand up for the rights of other nerds.

all our lives we have been ridiculed

and made to feel inferior.

Tonight those assholes, they vandalized our house.

Why?

Because we are smart?

Because we look different?

Well, we are not.

I am a nerd, and... I am proud.

Hi, Gilbert.

I am a nerd, too.

I just found that out tonight.

We have news for the beautiful people.

There are more of us than there are of you.

I know there are graduates here tonight.

When you went to Adams, you might have been called an idiot,

or a fool, or a freak.

Any of you that have ever felt...

stepped on, ignored, bullied, criticised,

whether you are a nerd or not, come and join us?

Come on.

- Hi, Betty. - Hi.

Just join us, because, uh...

Hi.

No one will be free until nerd persecution ends.

You know, Coach, I decided these boys will live at the athlete house,

while you and your boys rebuild theirs.

- And where will we live? - What about us, huh?

You are athletes, go live in the gym.

Nerd. Nerd. Nerd.

Nerd! Nerd! Nerd!

Nerd! Nerd! Nerd! Nerd!