Original subtitles

[ Bells Jingling ]

[ Man ] Good morning,Southern California.

7:51 onthe Pepper and Spice Show.

Fifteen days till Christmas,

and we're talkin' aboutwho you want to see onSanta's naughty list.

[ Woman ]Let's see. We've got a tweethere from Jamarco.

"How about thoseSalvation Army bellringers?"

[ Man ]Oh, constant clangingin the month of December.

[ Woman ]Shame on you, Jamarco.

[ Man ]I was just going tosend him a T-shirt.

Gloria from Pasadenawants to see her husbandAlexon the naughty list.

Well, tell me, Gloria,what has Alex done...

to get himself in hot waterwith you and Santa?

-[ Gloria On Phone ]He cheated on me.-[ Alarm Wailing ]

Uh-oh. Sounds like Alexhas been a very naughty boy.

Now, listen, the naughtylistis a pretty serious thing.

I mean, you can't just sayyour husband's cheating on you.

We're gonna needto see some proof.

Okay, people.On your toes.

I don't want thisgetting away from us.I want a tight leash onhim.

[ Gloria ] For starters,how 'bout a million textmessages on his workphone...

from Wanda?

And last night,he comes in at 4:00in the morning,

and says he was outChristmas shopping.

In all fairness, I mean,

most stores do haveholiday extendedhours.

Ah, come on.Until 4:00 in the morning?

What about allthose text messages?

I mean, what can youreally tell aboutsomeonefrom a text message?

What's this?What are they doing?What's going on?

Hello, Wanda.I wonder if you mightdo us a small favor.

For all we know,Wanda could be, like,some shut-in, youknow,

that needs someoneto talk to.

And Alex, well, Alex,maybe he's a secretSanta...

out at all hoursof the night,

going to orphanagesand shelters.

Or maybe he'sa complete ...

Let's get him on thelineand find out.

No, no, no, no.We don't have clearancefor that. No, no. Hang up.

[ Alex On Phone ]Yeah, hello?

[ High-pitched Voice ]Hi, Alex.

Yeah, speaking.Who's this?

Alex, this is Murray,the elf from the NorthPole,calling.

Okay. Why not?I got nothing better to dothan sit in traffic.

What can I do for you,Murray?

As you know,this is the time of the yearwhen we're going over our list,

and we're checkin' ittwice,and it appears you'reon the naughty list.

Oh, that's too bad.What did I do, leavethe toilet seat up again?

Well, I think it's a littlemore serious than that.

You see, when Santa comesdown your chimney in theweehours of the morning,

he's bringingdivorce papers!

Wait a minute.Who is this?

You happen to knowanyone named Wanda?

Did my nut-job wifeput you up to this?

[ Gloria ]I'm here, you lowlife.

What's her I.Q., like 60?

[ Alex ]I think you're getting mixed upwith your dress size, honey.

Now, now. Let's begood,for goodness' sake.

[ Gloria ]Hey, you better lawyer up, pal,

because I'm coming afteryour skinny little lying--

Unfortunately, that'sallthe time we have today.

You've been listeningto Pepper and Spicein the Morning.

And I'd like to givea big shout-out to allthose overpaidfolks...

who make this show go.

And remember, ladies,no matter how hotyou might be,

you can always usea little Pepper in yourlife.

And I'm gone.

[ Man ]And we're out.

-Killed it.-Yes.

[ Man ]My friends invite me over, butI just can't seem to get there.

Not yet anyway.Not since Lucille died.

It's been 19 months.

I just don't knowwhat to do?

You know, Ross, it isperfectly normal tofeel...

intense feelings oflossat Christmas.

You know, there's thisexpectation of loved onesgetting together,

and, sadly,your loved one isgone.

Do you mind if I askhow long you and Lucillewere together?

Let's see.Got her used in '98.

But I swapped enginesfour or five years ago.

Wait. I'm sorry.Was, uh, Lucille a car?

You kidding?Try a two-ton truck.

Why? What'd you think shewas?

You know,on second thought,

I think 18 monthsis probably plenty oftimeto grieve.

And if you have friendsstill willingto invite you over,

I would walk--no, I would probably runthereas fast as I could.

You're listening toDr. Love in the Morning.

And we'll be backwith more of yourcallsright after this.

-I mean---[ Phone Rings ]

Dr. Love.What's your problem?

Hey. Guy grievinga pickup truck?

Is thatthe best we got?

[ Laughing ]Seriously?

You expect meto put that on the air?

No. No. No, sir.A crisis is bad radio,

which is what you'redescribing right now.

Call backwhen you got real problems.

-Would it kill youto be nicer to callers?-What?

I'm saving themfrom you.

-Me? What did I do?-You baby them.

Oh, it's naturalto have feelings of loss.

Seriously.Give me an hour on the mike,I'll show you how it's done.

Welcome to the octagon.This is Dr. Tough Love.Get over it! Aah!

Okay. Okay.So, how 'bout,hands down,

you are the worstcall screenerin all of radio.

Better. Yeah.That had some real bite.

-Did it? Did it hurt?-Felt it right here.

-You're back on in 10.-Okay.

-And, uh, Cole wantsto see you after the show.-Wait, what? Why?

Is it about ratings?

No, it's our improperworkplace romance.

How the heck do I know?

In three, two--

Greetings. And welcome backto Dr. Love in the Morning.

I'm doing what I can.Yes, I will talk to them again,for the hundredth time.

Yeah, sure.

So I have courtside seatsto the Lakers...

right next toNicholson.

Thanks, but I'll pass.

Come on.You lovebasketball.

No, actually, I hated it.

I only went alongto be with you.

Oh, well, that's perfect.Just come along with methen.

It was a college thing,sweetie.

A long time ago.

Ouch.

Pepper.In my office, now.

Do me a favor,and hold him off forme?

For old times'sake.Thank you.

Pepper had to scoot.Anything I can help youwith, Mr. Harper?

Okay. That show-offthinkshe can get away withwhatever he wants.

Well, this time,not gonna happen.

Ah, Morris, my man.

Courtside seatsfor you and the kid.

Here you go.Just make sure and use 'em.

Spent a lot of moneyon those.

Seriously?

Yeah, it's the leastI can do for my agent,right?

Pepper, I gave these toyoufor your last birthday.

And my birthday wishis to bring a little joyto you and your son.

-Daughter.-That's what I meant.

Look, where have you beenhiding? I've been lookingfor you all afternoon.

I've just been laying low, man,till Harper calms down.

Well, he hasn't,and you've beensuspended.

What? What are youtalking about?

Corporate called an hour ago.They are taking you off the airuntil further notice.

Uh, off the air? No.They-- Why?

The little stunt youpulledthis morning.

You know, the naughtylist.Murray the elf.

Yeah. Dude, that was funny.

Yeah, well, notto Alex King.

That's the guy youthrewunder the bus.

The TV guy.Oh! That was him?

Alex King,the Kong of BigScreens.

The station'sbiggest advertiser.

Okay, okay.So, I'll apologize.

I'll buy one of thoseplanet-sized TVs of hisfor the staff. We'll begood.

Alex Kingcan buy and sell you.

He does not want yourmoney.He wants your headon a stick, man.

[ Stammers ]

Okay. All right.Maybe we canmake this work.

Let me try to milkthe controversy.

I'll stir up somepress.

You go away for a coupleweeks, come back to evenbigger numbers.

Couple of weeks? What?Man, are you crazy?

That's like a million yearsin radio time. Everyone'sgonna think I'm dead.

Well, that is betterthan actually being dead,which is what Alex Kingwants.

Okay. What about remotes?

I'll just keep my nameout there by calling infrom some exotic place...

like, uh, Tahiti?

[ Laughing ]

Pepper, I'm suremanagementwants to send youquite a few places,

but Tahitiis not one of them.

Here.What's this?

Airline ticket.Corporate took thelibertyof reassigning you...

to a sister stationuntil further notice.

They can do that?

Read your contract,Pepper.

They own you.

You leaveon a red-eye tonight.

Where the heckis Idyllwild, Colorado?

Beats me, but, uh,you might want topack your Snuggies.

-[ Knocks ]-Hey.

Sandy, come in.Have a seat.

Uh, do you want wateror something?

Um, no. No, I'm okay.Thank you.

Well, let's talkabout your show.

Okay. Cool.Look, I know whatyou're gonna say.

The ratings-- theyhaven'tbeen what they should be,and I agree with you,

but I feel likeif you just give usa little time--

-Sandy---No one knew who Dr. Laurawasfor, like 15 years.

-Now she has a huge career.-I'm not canceling your show.

You're not?

No.

You're the best show we have,and you're right-- it takes timeto build an audience.

But I think I havea way to help.

Pepper Sterling,one of the hottestradio jocks in L.A.

This could be big for you.The network that owns usthinks he's gonna be huge.

That's great for him,

but unless he'smoving here toWhoville,how does this help us?

That's exactly what he's doing.And not voluntarily.

Apparently, he ticked offsome big-shot advertiser,

so they need to put him onicetill things blow over.

Mmm. So we getto babysit him.

Not "we." You.

Say helloto your new cohost.

What? No. No.No, no, no, no, no.I don't want a cohost.

I mean, what does this guyeven know aboutpsychotherapy?

-Anything?-It doesn't matter.That's your job.

If he gives usa bump in the ratings,that's what you need.

Do I have any sayin this?

[ Sighs ]Corporate wants topark him here,

so we're gonna be good soldiersand make the best of it.

If he bringsa little attentionto the best thing on radio,

not to mentionthe most beautiful,

even better.

Okay. So, when doesthis Pepper Sterlingguyget here?

Tomorrow morning.

Tomorrow?

And I want you to pick himupfrom the airport.

It'll give you guys a chanceto hang out before the show.

You owe me so big.

Fine. What about dinnerat my place?

Tomorrow nightafter the show?

How 'bout dinner,no your place?

You're drivin' me crazy.You know that.

Well, maybe you shouldcallthat radio shrink.

I heardshe's really good.

Final boarding call forflight 371 service to Boulder,gate two.

Mr. Sterling. Hi.

Sandra Love.Welcome to Idyllwild.

Thanks.It's just one bag.

[ Chuckles ]I-- I think there's beena little misunderstanding.

You're the car service,right,from the radio station?

No. Um, I'm your new cohost.Actually, technically,you'remy new cohost, but--

You know, you're herehelping with my show.

-Oh, your show?-That's right.

Okay, look, I--[ Sighs ]

I think we got offon the wrong foot.

Sandy Love.Welcome to Idyllwild.

I'm guessing it's nota heavy metal show.

[ Sandy ]No, no. It's morelike a help line.

You know, people call inwith problems,

usually relationship issues,things like that.

Sounds likea barrel of fun.

Okay.Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

What?

Look, I'll slum iton your touchy-feelyradio show if I have to,

but shopping--no way.

There's only so much tortureI can take.

Will you relax?I promise it won'tbe painful.

[ Door Hinges Squeaking ]

Come on.

[ Sighs ]

Oh, hey.

What do you think?

I think you lookjust like one of us.

Yeah, that's whatI'm afraid of.

Come on. We gota lot of work to do.

Welcome to yournew place ofemployment.

You gotta be kidding me.

Here we are.

KZJJ, 99.6.

Home of Dr. Lovein the Morning.

For a minute there,

I thought you were leadingmeinto a top-secret divisionof the C.I.A.

Hey. Pepper, I'm Cole,station manager.

And prisonwarden.

Oh, come on.

Cheer up. It's not that bad,once you get used to it.

You want to give himthe 25-cent tour?

Sure. Which won't takelongbecause we only haveone studio.

This is true.

-Okay.-So--

Most of our content comesfrom the network feed.

And any live programming wedohappens right here.

It's probably not exactlywhat you're used to.

That's okay.You can't have caviarall the time, right?

Sometimes you gottatake a step back.

Way back.Is that a sundial?

Uh, no, no, no.That's actually my seat.We have you set up righthere.

[ Pepper ] Okay.

[ Whimpering ]

[ Whimpering Continues]

Pepper Sterling.

Pepper Sterling.[ Laughs ]

This is Jonah.He's our engineer.He's like a puppy.

Once he smells you,he'll settle down.

You, sir, are a god.

I am such a huge fan.

You know, I streamevery single oneof your shows,

and I just want to saythat if it wasn't formy salary,

I would totally builda shrine to you.

Thanks.

Okay. Well, um,it's about show time.

So, leave you toit.Welcome aboard.

Yeah. Oh, yeah.Okay. Um--

Hey, if you need anythingat all while you're here,you just come to me,okay?

And I meananything at all.

Okay. Great.Have a good show.

You're awesome, dude.

Okay. So I know it's hardcoming in cold.

I took the libertyof putting together someproduction notes for you.

Look at that.Proper online formand everything.

Even a little staplein the corner. Cute.

Well, a disciplinedshowis a good show.

And a motto too.

Okay, look,

I know that youdon't wanna behere.

Okay, and I'mnot really that

thrilled to share myshow with you either.

But I feel likeif we just show eachothera little respect...

and show my showsome respect,

that we'll be justfine.

Respect. Your show.

Yeah.

Got it.

Thank you.

-[ Jonah ] Live in 10.-Ha! Hoo! Hah!

What are youdoing?

Vocal exercises.

You know, justlimbering up the cords.

Uh, live in three.

[ Loud Laughing ]

-What are you doing?-Old deejay trick. Happy face,happy voice, right?

No, not happy face.Scary face. You looklike the Joker.

Hi. Uh, greetings.And welcome to Dr.Lovein the Morning.

Today we havea very special guest.

In from our sister stationin Los Angeles, pleasewelcomePepper Sterling.

Hey there, Idyllwild.You guys ready to getwildand crazy?

Actually, Pepper,our long-time listenerswill tell you...

we don't usethe word "crazy"around here...

because we feel likeit stereotypes peoplewith real issues.

Okay. Well, how aboutuptight and controlling?

Good? No good?

With that, let's takeour first caller.

Kenny, hi.Where are you calling from?

[ Kenny ]Uh, a telephone.

Good answer.What can I help youwith today?

Uh, this girlin my high school class.

I kind of want to ask herto the Christmas formal,

but she's sort ofout of my league.

Oh, Kenny, look, it'sdating,it's not football.

There's no leagues.Women don't think likethat.

-Okay.-That's right, Kenny.

And I flew all the way hereon a magic unicorn.

[ Kenny Chuckles ]

Women valuethoughtfulness...

even more than they dophysical attraction.

If you want herto go out with you,

don't just go up to herlockerand ask her out.

Be brave, you know?Be bold.

Really sweep heroff her feet.

All right then.

Kenny, if I mayoffer my opinion--

No, you may not.Jonah, who's our nextcaller?

Uh, that would be no one.

Kenny, I don't know you,but the fact that you'recalling in on thisshow...

pretty much tells methat you are no George Clooney.

So I'd say the chancesof you getting rejected...

fall somewhere betweensure thing and stone-cold lock.

My advice: Take the moneyyou'd blow on a tuxand buy yourself an Xbox.

It'll never leave younor will it ever tell youto share your feelings.

Unless, of course,your feelings are,"Take that!"

With that brilliantpiece of advice,we'll be rightback.

Listen here,you overpaid twit.

I googled you lastnight,

and despite thousandsof tedious pagesI had to read through,

I didn't findone redeeming quality.

You're smug and crude,

and you use people'slivesto get a cheap laugh.

We don't do that hereon my show, okay?

And that's right.I said it.

My show. Mine,okay?

Mine, mine, mine.You got it?

Or do I need to puta Sticky Note on thatCro-Magnon forehead ofyours?

What are youlaughing about?

[ Gasps ]Are we on the air?

And we'll beright back, folks.

I think that went well.

I promise youthat will never, everhappen again.

-That's too bad.-And you have every rightto feel like that. I just--

I'm sorry.What did you say?

We don't get hard numberstill the end of the week,but based on these,

you two are a hit.

We haven't got calls likethisin a long time.

-The phones lit up rightafter your little episode.-That was more of a conniption.

-Shut up.-Whatever it was,keep doing it.

People seem to eat it up.

Yeah, but, Cole,these are all complaints.

Honestly, love youor loathe you,

just as longas they keep listening.

You know what?Maybe she's right.

Maybe this was justa bad idea.

If I were you,I'd call the network,

I'd tell them thisis all a disaster,

send myon the next planeout of here.

-That's what I would do.Let me call 'em for you.-Nice try.

You're both adults.Figure it out.

Now if you'll excuse us,Pepper. Sandy and I havea dinner engagement.

Jonah will take youto your motel.

I'll pick you up out front.Meet you there.

-[ Snorts ]-What?

[ Kissing ]

[ Scoffs ]Grow up.

[ Laughing ]

Can you believe it?The village idiot in therehas you down for next Christmas.

I mean, what kind of moronbooks a place a year in advance?

That's all right.Maybe it's hereon the reservation.

Look, no, no, no.

Okay. Look, man.It's no big deal.

We'll just goto another place.

Dude, this isthe only game in town,

so unless you havesome long-lost cousinhere in Hicksville,

-you're hosed.-You're kidding.

I mean, this is Colorado.There's gotta be, like,some ski chalet orsomething.

Absolutely, yeah.Tons of 'em rightupthe road in Aspen.

-Perfect.-Which is aboutsix hours from here.

Great.That's just great.

Despair not, my friend.I got a solution. Comeon.

Uh-- Oh, man.

You're gonna lovethis place.

Uh, there's only one placegood enough for my boy,Pepper Sterling.

Here we go.

[ Laughing ]

Welcome to the broadcasters'bachelor pad!

-Your garage apartment.-No, no, no.

Combination boudoirand radio museum.

See, uh--

Oh! You know, one day,you are gonna be upon that wall of fame.

I just know it.

But you're gonna diefirst.[ Laughing ]

I'm not kidding aboutthat,by the way.

Look, Jonah, I appreciateyour hospitality,

but I don't wannaput you out.

No, no, no, no, no.It will be myhonor,good sir.

But I do have onequestionfor you-- FM or AM?

-What?-Firm mattressor air mattress?

-FM it is.-All right.

Cool. Well, you'reprobably pretty wipedfrom the flight,

so why don't youjust kick back, relax?

I'm gonna go inside.My mom's heating upsome pigs in ablanket.

And, uh,I'll be right back.

And, uh, Pepper,just so you know,

I'm never washingthat sheet again.

Ever.

You know, I don't thinkI actually ever have,so--

Okay.

Hey, Mom!Preheat those piggies,will ya?

[ Groans ]

Hmm.

[ Exhales ]

Okay. Here you go.

I feel like an idiot.

Well, you lookadorable.

Are you surethis will work?

I mean,what if she already has adateto the Christmas formal?

No, look, Kenny,that's not the point.

It kind of is.

No, the point isfor her to notice you,

for her to wake upand realize...

that you could bethe greatest guy she's ever metin her whole life.

Santa?

No. You.

Okay, nowstick to the plan.

Go get on that curb,

and keep yourphone close by.

-And here's your hat.-Okay.

You can do this.You're gonna be great.

[ Exhales ]

Right there.

-[ Laughing ]-[ Phone Rings ]

Oh, hold on, hold on.

Hey, Pepper.How was your flight?

It crashedin the Twilight Zone.

Come on.It cannot be that bad.

Man, yesterdayI have a hit show,I'm living like a rockstar.

Today I'm a has-been.I'm living in agarage.

It's like I've turnedinto a TV movie, man.

Will you stop beingso melodramatic?

It hasn't even been24 hours yet.

You gotta fixthis.

If I stay here muchlonger,I'm gonna go crazy.

I'm workin' on it.Oh, and thank youfor regifting those tickets.

Yeah. I'm just havinga little pregame cocktail.

Hold on.Somebody wants to say hi.

Hi, Pepper.How's it going?

Are you kidding me?

Bye.[ Laughing ]

-Cheers.-He is not happy.

He is not happy.

[ Phone Rings ]

[ Sandy ]Rudolph to Big Red.

The goose isapproachingthe oven.

-Do you copy?-What?

-No, it means she's on her way.-Why didn't you justtell me that?

Just get moving.

[ Knocking ]

-What are you doing here?-Give it to me straight.

Are you really a radiodeejay,or is this just a coverfor your spy gig?

Get in the car.

You gonna tell mewhat's going on?

Okay. Rememberthat high school kidwho called into the show?

Kenny, that loser you almostgot to humiliate himself? Yeah.

First of all,he's not a loser.

And second,he's about to get a datewith the girl of hisdreams.

Please tell meyou did not get involved.

Oh, I shouldn't begetting involved,

but it's okay for youto turn peopleinto a punch line...

and toss them awaywhenever you're done?

We're entertainers.That's what we do. Come on.

Ho, ho, ho.Well, if it isn'tlittle Annie Nibough.

Hi, Santa.

What you gotin the bag?

Oh! Let's take a look.

Must be something in herewith your name on it.

Well, son of a gun.

[ Gasps ]Thank you.

They're really pretty.

[ Chuckles ]

Wait! Uh--

Ho-ho-hold on. Almost forgotthe most important part.

Well, go on. Open it.

Well?

Let me think about it.

-Ka-boom.-[ Sandy ] Oh, no.

No. I feel so bad.

[ Pepper ]Oh, hold on.

Wait. Wait, wait. Look.

Hey, Kenny.

-Yes?-Yes.

Yes!

Yes! Yes!

Oh, yes!

Sorry.

Oh, they're socute.

[ Gasps ]Yes.

[ Sandy ]Well, we are coming upon 12:00,

and we have timeto take one more callerbefore we have a littlebreak.

Katrina, you'vebeen holding a while.

What can I help youwithtoday, Katrina?

[ snoring ]

Hello. You're onwith Dr. Love.

[ Boy ]I want to talk to Santa.

Does your mommy knowyou're on the phone?

She fell asleep.And she's making funnynoises.

She certainlydoes sound asleep.

Well, you know, Santadoesn't live here.

He's-- He's... moreof a North Pole kind ofguy.

Ho, ho, ho.

You know, you'renever gonna believewho just walked in.

-It's him.-Hello, Santa.

It's me, Dex.

What? The little dudewith a mother whosnoreslike a chainsaw?

-Yeah!-All right.

Well, I don't have allnight.The reindeers aregettin' restless.

Neigh! Neigh!

Which makes themsound like horses.

-Santa?-Well, for goodness' sake,what is it now?

I love you.

And with that,we take our firstbreak.

What?

No snarky comeback?

Don't tell meyou're getting softon me now.

With kids,it's different.

All right, people. Chop,chop.We got two minutes to checkthe sizes on these things.

What things?

Hello! Costumes!

The client sent them overfor your big publicappearancetonight.

No one told meabout a public appearance.That was not cleared withme.

Okay, princess,don't go all diva onme.

You got a hit show.People wanna press theflesh.Now try 'em on.

Pepper, you're gonna look greatin this Joseph thing here.

I think you're gonnalook fabulous as Mary.

Yeah?

Okay.

No.

This is it.My career is officiallydead.

Look, I know that it'sa little goofy, okay?

It's notthe Hollywood Bowl,but,

you know, here,this means a lot.

People look forwardto this.

Why don't you justshut your mouth andnotbe cynical for once?

Whatever.

♪ [ Horns: Fanfare ]

[ Cheering ]

Whoo!

There were shepherdsin the fields, keeping watchover their flock by night.

The angel of the Lordcame upon them,

and the glory of the Lordshone round about them,

and they weresore afraid.

Hey, kid, you okay?

-What are you doing?He's supposed to be afraid.-Oh.

-Pay attention.-Sorry.

Carry on.

Unto you was born this day,in the city of David,

a Saviorwhich is Christ the Lord.

And this shall bea sign unto you--

I think I know the story.Need some help?

And there shalt be a signand ye shall find a babywrapped in swaddlingclothes,

lying in a manger.

And suddenly,there was with the angel,

a multitudeof heavenly hostspraising God...

and saying--

Think you got itfrom here?

Glory to God in the highest,and on earth peace,good will towards men.

Whoo! Yeah![ Laughing ]All right!

-Whoo! Good job.-[ Applauding Continues ]

So am I done?

Nope. Next you'rethe bartenderat the reception.

Of course.

Hi.

There she is.

Well, someone turned outto be the star of theshow.

Nah, she was the star.I just had enough senseto upstage her.

You reallytook me bysurprise.

How did you knowall that stuff?

What, you think cynicsdidn't go to Sunday school?

Here.

Have someunnaturally green punch.

Yikes. It looks likethe Grinch died inhere.

You're gonna need somethingto wash down...the dough balls with.

-No, thanks.-You don't wantsalmonella?

You know, I actually hadsomething a littlestrongerin mind.

Yeah?

Do you thinkyou can handleit?

Rise up, shepherd,and follow.

Come on.

-I gotta admit,you had me fooled.-Oh, yeah? How?

I just didn't thinkyou were thetype...

to stash a bottle ofboozein the office.

No. It's way betterthan that.

Aw. Decaf tea bags?

No, I put that onto ward off intruders.

A.k.a. Jonah?

Look inside.

Ah. Christmas cookies.

With red and greensprinkles.My mom makes 'em.

-Try one.-All right.

Mmm. Wow.That's really good.

-[ Laughing ]I know.-Oh, my God.

-Good, right?-I haven't had anythinglike this since I moved to L.A.

What?What are you talking about?L.A.'s like food heaven.

Yeah, with little pastriesmade by some guy namedPierre.

I mean, seriously,there's no way I couldgeta sugar rush like this.

-I'd have to eat, like,a thousand of those.-Really?

So, how did you make itout there anyway?

Mmm. It's a prettysad story actually.

Please.Big six-figure salaryjust for being a goofball?

My heart bleeds for you.

-You should nothave said that.-Why?

'Cause now you'rejust gonna feel badwhen I tell you thestory.

Yeah, right. Try me.

All right.You asked for it.

So, it's four yearsago,

and I'm like a semesterawayfrom graduating college.

And the whole time I havethis campus radio show,right?

Long hours, no pay.

Just me and anotherguydoing all the workbecause we love it.

Except in thiscase,the other guy--

Is a girl.

Is a girl.

Carrie Spicer.

Sugar and spiceand everythingnice.

Oh! In unspeakableways.

Oh, wait.Too much information.

All right.Moving on.

For three years,we spent prettymuchall of our time...

in the station,

and senior yearrolls around,

and I start making plans.

-I buy a ring.-Wait. This is gonna bea heartbreak story?

Oh, no, no.I don't wanna heara sad story.

I compensate by overeating.

Too late.You can't chicken out.

-You gotta listento the whole story.-Oh. Okay.

So, I makeelaborate plans...

to ask herto marry me.

-Stop.-Live and on air.

-What?-Yup.

So the day comes,

she's back in the booth

when a requestcomes in.

She signals line two.I think she signalsline three.

So, I pick up,and there's Carrie...

on line three,telling her new guy...

how she plansto leave me.

Yikes.

Yeah.

What did you do?

Well, I did what anyseasonedradio professional woulddo.

I freaked outand I went off on herlike a raging lunatic.

Did I mentionthe mike was stillhot?

No! Oh, that is not good.

Yup. I managed to losethe love of my life...

and get kicked out ofschoolall on the same day.

Want to knowthe worst part?

No. Hold on.

Okay. Go.

It was Christmas.

That is the saddest storyI've ever heard.

Ah, not really.The rant wentviral.

And I'm animmediateInternet sensation.

And the next thing youknow,I got a six-figuresalary...

for just being--What was itthat you called me?

A goofball?

[ Laughing ]I hate you.

You knowI'm still eating this.Dare me?

It's all yours.

Ah! [ Laughing ]The whole bite.

-That is the biggest biteI've ever seen.-Mmm.

Listen, I've answeredenough questions.

It's your turn.

Fair enough.

Fire away.

-Scared.-All right.

So, the wholeDr. Love thing.

Is that real,or is it justa radio deal?

Ph.D. in psychologyfrom Northwestern.

Go, big purple.

So you clearlycheated.

I did not.

I actually graduatedwith distinction, so--

Okay. Well,if you're so smart,

why you hanging outhere with me,freezing in Idyllwild?

That is a good question.

Um, I had a practicein Chicago,

and then my dad got sick,

so I moved back hereto be with him and my mom.

And he diedeight months ago.

Mmm.[ Clicks Tongue ]

What?

Can we just take it backa few seconds right beforeI shoved my foot in mymouth?

It's fine.

-I'm sorry.-Really, no, it's okay.

Um, so why don't you justopen up another practice?

Because this hereis mountain country, son,

and, well, we folks,we don't talk aboutour feelings.

Plus, I don't know.

The radio'sbecome my practice.

So what do you makeof me, Doc?

-You?-Yeah.

Ah, you're easy.

Oh, yeah?

Guy who gothis heart broken,

who now hidesbehind a microphone...

'cause he's scaredof getting hurt again.

Right?

Or maybe I'm justbeing cautious.

You know,like mature people do.

Well, your time's up.

This is my car,so--

So, what do Iowe you, Doc?

Oh, you can't affordme.

You know you're talkingto the second biggest radio starin Idyllwild, right?

Oh, yeah? Okay.

Well, why don't youmake it snow?

Because it's just notthe same around herewithout it.

That's a heck of a co-pay.

I told you,I'm not cheap.

All right. Well, I guessthis is good night.

Um, are you sureyou don't want meto drive you toJonah's?

No, thanks.I've gotta work offall the cookies anyway.

Okay.

I'll see you tomorrow.

Drive safe.

Bye.

[ Man On Phone ]I've asked her whatshe wants for Christmas,

but she just saysshe'll be happy withwhatever I get her.

Right. And everybodywho believes that,raise your third hand.

No, I think what Tom'swifeis trying to say...

is that it's thethoughtthat matters.

It's notthe gift itself.

Okay. Then why don't youget her a thoughtful setof snow tires...

and watch her light upwhen you roll those babiesinon Christmas morning?

I'm sure that Tomis thinking about something

a little more romanticthan snow tires.

Right, Tom?

Tom?

Well, the radialsare kind of bald.

On that note, for callingin,I'm gonna send youa jewelry catalog.

That's all the timewe have for today,guys.

This is Dr. Love.

And I'm Pepper Sterling.

-And we aresigning off.-Signing off.

That's what I'm talkingabout.The banter between you twoneeds to be more like that.

The raise your thirdhand?And that jewelry catalogcomeback?

That was priceless.

What is this?Armchair analysis?

Well, there's always roomfor improvement.

Football coach dissectsgame film every night,right?

And I dissected a frogin biology class,

but I swore I'd neverdo that again.

All I'm saying is the wayyou two guys started,

I didn't know if thiswas gonna work or not.

Well, even someof the best marriagesget off to a rockystart.

I mean, not that we'rea couple or anything.

[ High-pitched ]Awkward.

Sandy, I ordered someof that takeout you love.

It's a nice day.I thought we'd eatout in the square.

Oh, um, yeah.Yeah, sure. Thanks.

I'm such an idiot.Pepper, you wanna joinus?

I can order you something.What do you like?

Nah, I can't do that.

Sure you can.Why not?

I made plans alreadyfor lunch.

You made plans?With who?

With your trusty sidekickin there.

You know what I thinkaboutevery time I eat oneof these bad boys?

A tripto the emergency room.

No.Little Lonny MillsWNKW in Mississippi.

Soul beastof the greatSoutheast.

Oh!Moment of silence,please.

He choked on a hotdog.

Dropped dead right inthe middle of his show.

Dude's a legend.

What's going onwith those two?

What, you meandull and duller?

Best evidence yetthat there is, indeed,a god.

Yeah? How's that?

Well, think aboutit.

The two most boringpeoplein the entire world...

somehow managedto find each otherin a place like this.

I mean, what are theodds?

If that's notdivine manipulation,I don't know what is.

I don't know, man.Maybe she's just having a toughtime after her dad died.

Maybe she just needsa little bit of funin her life.

Forget it, man.She was bornwithoutthe fun gene.

Oh, dude!I just got the best idea.

Let's blow off workand drive toCanada.

It's only, like,14 hours.

I got a better idea.Let's get backto the hardware store.

How is that betterthan Canada?

I got a callfrom headquartersthis morning.

Oh, no. Who are theyunloading on us now?

Actually,it was about methis time.

They are consideringmefor a job in Dallas.

What? Wow!

Cole, that's amazing.Congratulations.

It's not a sure thing yetand I'm sure they havea lot of candidates,

but if it does happen,

I want you to thinkabout coming with me.

Wow. Um--

I don't know what to say.

I believein your talent.

Sandy,I think you'd be a hugehitin a market like Dallas.

And, yes,

the fact of the matter isI would like tokeep seeing you.

I'm just asking youto think about it.

Oh! Margaret!I'm so sorry.

-That's okay.-I'm sorry.

Okay. Sorry.

Oh, my gosh.I have not been latelike this since college.

It's all right.You still got 15 seconds.

Get your feetout of my chair!

All right. Now thatthe queen has arrived,let's make some radiohistory.

-Live in five.-Oh, I just gottacatch my breath.

And now, your number onetalk radio show,

Dr. Love in the Mornings,with special guest,Pepper Sterling!

What's going on, Idyllwild?Happy holidays.

We'll get to your callsin a few minutes,

but firsthere's a little somethingto get you in the mood.

-[ Deck the Halls plays ]-Wait. Wait, what?

I got a surprise foryouin your office.

Are you crazy?We can't just walk outon a show.

We can for threeminutesand 17 seconds,

which is exactly howlongthe song lasts.

-Come on.-You know we're notgonna make out.

It's not about thatthis time. Follow me.

[ Giggles ]

Go ahead, open it.

[ Sandy Laughing ]

So, what do you think?

You filled my officewith packing peanuts.

[ Laughs ]

You said you wanted snow.

Well, now you got snow.

Well, I mean,it is actuallykind of amazing.

[ Both Shouting ]

You're gonna pay forthat.

[ Scoffs ]Hey.

-Oh, my God.-Get back here.

No! [ Laughing ]

[ Muffled Laughing]

[ Roars ][ Screams ]

Take a good lookat your face.

See?It's just likesnow.

Yeah.

Let's tie it.

[ Giggles ]Looks good.

-Oh---The show.

[ Laughs ]

[ Sandy ]Ah!

And we're back.I'm Dr. Sandra Love--

And I'm college dropoutPepper Sterling.

Jonah,who's our firstcaller?

[ Jonah ]Up first we have "do that againand I'll crush you both."

Go ahead, caller.You're on with Dr. Love.

Oh, my God.[ Chuckles ]

[ Clears Throat ]

[ Laughs ]Well--

Looks likeyou missed apeanut.

You don't mean snow?

Yeah, I meansnow.

I had fun today.

Yeah, yeah.It was a good show.

All right, well, I'm gonna--I'm gonna go.

[ Chuckles ]All right.

If you're notdoing anything--

Other than rearrangingJonah's sock drawer--nada.

Well, my mom and Iwere gonna go pick outour Christmas tree,

if you wanna come along.

Who, me? The overpaidCro-Magnon twit?

We need a littlecaveman muscle.

Any opportunity to showoffthese massive guns.

I'm in. Let's dothis.

Go get in the car.

Hey, do me a favorand be nice to my mom. Okay?

It's our first Christmaswithout my Dad,so she's a little fragile.

Yeah,she seems realfragile.

-Katherine Love.Call me Kate.-Hi.

-Hi.-I'm Pepper.

-You're that radio guy.I like you. You're spunky.-Yeah, that's me.

I hope you don't mindthat I invited himto come cut a tree with us.

Yeah, that's great.We could use the help.

-You got gloves?-No.

Oh, well,you'll need these.

All right. Be careful.

Let's go cut atree.

-[ Kate ]Come on.-[ Both Laughing ]

[ Pepper ]Aren't you guys freezing?

[ Kate Scoffs ]You're not usedto the cold, huh?

Okay, you guys.Let's pick it up.We're losing light.

So, you killfor your own food too?

Oh, yeah, absolutely.

I got a possum in the oven.Hope you're hungry.

Hey, guys. That's it.Right there.

[ Kate ]Oh, that's pretty.That's a good tree.

Do you approve of this one?

[ Pepper ]It's so shiny.

Yeah. I made it.

It's cute.I like it.

-It's pretty colorful.-Thank you.

Hmm.So, what do you think,

little snowman thingor baby's first Christmas?

I like both.I say put both.

Yeah? All right.You're the one who'sgotta live with it.

-Pepper?-Yeah.

Um, where are youspending Christmas?

I hadn't thought about it.I wasn't sure how longI was gonna be here.

Well, if you're stillhere,

we'd love to have youspend it with us.

Only if you cook upanother possum.

Only if you cook upanother possum.

That thing was incredible.

Little secret--It was brisket.

Aw, don't tell me that.

Makes me feel more manlyto think I ate a giant rat.

Okay, what happened here?

[ Laughs ]You know, I love thisone.

I made it in secondgrade.It's a reindeer.

Maybe after he got hitby a truck.

What?

All right, we're gonnaput this guy back hereso nobody sees him.

No, that is so mean.He goes in thefront.

No, this is for his owngood.

-This way no one willmake fun of him. Okay?-Stop being so controlling.

Oh, you're calling mecontrolling?

-I mean---Wow.

-Yeah, you're a little---Excuse me, guys.I'll be back in a minute.

I'm gonna go and check on her.I'll be right back, okay?

Yeah.

Hey.Mom, what's wrong?

Nothing. Really, I'mgood.

I'm so sorry.

I never should havebrought him herewithout asking you first.

Are you kidding me?No, I'm glad that youdid.

It's like spendingChristmaswith your dad.

Mom, Pepperis nothing like Dad.

[ Scoffs ]Who are youkidding?

He is exactly like your dad.No wonder you like him so much.

I never said that I likehim.

You didn't have to.

Okay, Mom, look, he's funnyand he's fun to be around,

but... that's it.

He's not substantial.He's not like Dad.

Trust me,it's nothing serious.

You make your dadsound so serious.

Well, what's wrong withthat?

Nothing, as longas you're not boring.

I don't thinkyou remember,

how silly dad usedto be with us,

and how much he couldmake us laugh.

You gotta rememberto have fun and letgo.

Now you sound like Pepper.

Then you shouldlisten to him.

Okay, you've got a guest,and I know it's time formeto get lost.

Mom. I love you.

[ Laughs ]

Sorry.

Did I upset her?

No. No, on thecontrary.She--

She adores you.

You made her reallyhappy.

And me too.So, thank you.

Well, I havea confession to make.

Oh, no.What did you donow?

-Steal the family silver?-Worse.

What?

So, that tree over there?

That's not the only thing Icut down with a chainsaw today.

What is it with menand power tools?

You guys, like,turn into little boys.

Little boys that can't stopthinking about little girls.

Are you mad at mefor cutting this down too?

I guess...only if you waste it.

-[ Pepper ] With the chesspieces all in the punch.-[ Jonah Laughing ]

-Hi.-Hey. Looks like I misseda heck of a party.

-Oh, you have no idea.-The prune pudding wasthe bomb diggity.

I can't even get thattasteout of my mouth.

Pepper, can I have youcome to my office for a second?

Just come on inand close the door.

Ooh.

Yeah, sure.

Just Pepper.

-Oh, you didn't wantto see us?-No.

Okay, all right.Good luck,Pepper.

[ Scoffs ]

Love you.

So, what's up?

Headquarters called.They want you back on theair.

-Since when?-Since their ratings droppedfour percent.

So just like that,I'm out of the penalty box?

Yeah. A dip in ad revenuewill do that.

They, uh-- They'resendinga plane tomorrow.

They want you backby Christmas Day.

Christmas Day? No.I-I can't do that to Sandy.

I'm confused.I thought you couldn'twaitto get out of here.

Yeah, no. Um--Yeah, it's great.

Look, can you do me a favorand just...

not say anythingto Sandy?

I wanna tell her myself.

Pepper,she means a lot to me.

Probably a lot morethan I mean to her.

Don't hurt her.

All right. Sandy and Pepperin the Morning's promo,take four.

This is KZJJ 99.6,

home of Sandy and Pepperin the Morning.

-How was that?-Inspired.

Hey. What do you think?

What happened toDr. Love with special guestPepper Sterling?

I guess I'm gettingused to sharing.

We were just playing aroundwith a couple things,seeing how stuff sounds.

We should have Pepperdo one.

I'll do one in a minute.

Um, Jonah,can we get asecond?

[ Whispers ]Yeah.

Hey.What happened in there?

Nothing. Um, I'm fine.

It's just...

I think there's somethingwe need to talk about.

What is it?

-Um---Pepper, just say it.

Well--

Yeah. I just--

I was wondering if youwanted to go to the

company Christmas party with me?

I mean, sure, but we don't--

We don't havea company Christmas party.

I'm talking about the oneon Sunday in California.

Wait, are you kidding? L.A.?

-Are you kidding?-No, I mean, I knowit's short notice...

and you probably havesome,like, trees to chop downor something--

No, shut up.I mean, what about the show?

Well, we can havea company plane pick usupright after the show,

and then we'll be backin time the next morning.

Wait, wait, wait.Are you joking?

I mean,L.A. and a private plane?

There's onecatch.

What?

You gotta be mydate.

-[ Squealing, Laughing ]-Yeah?

[ Kisses ]

I guess that meansyou'll think about it?

-It's an experience.-[ Shrieks ]

[ Shutter Clicks ]

Thanks.

[ Shutter Clicks ]

-And one point-- Pepper.-[ Shouts ]

Can we take a picture?

Aw, sure, whynot?

[ Shutter Clicks ]

Whoa.

-[ Sandy ]This mansion is your house?-[ Engine Off ]

Yep.[ Chuckles ]

-Show me.-There's nothingto see.

It's just a bunchof empty rooms.

-Jimmy.-Welcome home, Mr. Sterling.

Hey. Hey, can you throwthatin the back for us?

Sure thing.

-Thanks.-There you go.

-Hi.-Hi.

-I'll see youin a little bit.-Okay.

-Okay, who was that?-Ah, that's Jimmy,my house manager.

Are there any otherpeople in the entourageI need to know about?

That's it.

So, are you gonna tell mewhat's in that basket?

Now, now,have a littlepatience.You'll see.

-Let's put our stuffright here.-Okay.

So, do you always haveyour minions pack youa nice little picnic?

Oh, this isn't a picnic.It's way better thanthat.

-Oh, yeah?-Yep.

We're gonnamake a snowman.

L.A.-style.

Uh, what are we gonnause for snow?

We're gonna use sand.

[ Pepper ]Voilà.

[ Giggling ]

What else do you have inhere?

Yeah, we gotsome shovels forya.

Yeah, instead ofit melting, uh...

the high tide justwashes it back outto sea.

-Can I ask you something?-What?

Why on earth wouldsomeoneas incredible as you...

stick aroundin Idyllwild,Colorado?

Well, you know,my mom's cookies area big selling point.

Okay.

Come on.I'm being serious.

What? I mean, I told you.

I moved home to be with mymomwhen my dad got sick.

Nope. I don't buy it.

Your mom cantake care of herself.

Who said anythingabouttaking care of her?

I said, "being with her."

You know, breathingthe same air as her.

Sharing the same space.

It's what you do whenyou love someone else.

You want to be around themall the time.

[ Sighs ]We need to talk aboutthe Christmas party.

You know, I thinkhe's missing something.

I'll be right back.Hold on.

Sandy, what--

Wait a sec.

Pepper?Pepper.

Man, why didn't you call me?I would've picked you upat the airport, brother.

Look, we got a lotto talk about.

Yeah, yeah, I know. Ijust--

I got a friend in townandI'm just showing heraround.

It's her firsttime here, so--

Oh, nice.

You tell her her tour guideis about to becomethe king of L.A.

[ Scoffs ]What are you talkingabout?

Ratings have been so badsince you left...

that they are desperateto get you back on the air, man.

Look, have you seen these?

What?

They are blanketingthe whole city with those--

billboards, bus stops,everything.

Wow, I guess theyreallydid miss me, huh?

I mean, they never spentthis kind of moneybefore.

That, my friend,is what I call "leverage,"

and my two favorite wordsin the whole English language...

are "re" and "negotiation."

-[ Laughs ]-Turning lemonsinto lemonade, huh?

It's what I do, baby.

I'll call you tomorrow.All right?

Hey. Who was that?

Oh, that's mybuddy,Morris.

All right. There.

Perfect.

Yeah, I guess itis,isn't it?

It's sort of sad that thisis all gonna be washed awayby tomorrow, isn't it?

Are you okay?

This is her, right?

Your girlfriend?

-Your make-out buddy?-Okay, it's notlike that.

I promise,it's not like that.

Why did you evenbring me here?

I think you shouldlet me explain.

There's no need to.That-- That says it all.

-Congratulations.You're back.-Sandy--

No, now you get togo back to real life.

When were you gonna tell meabout this?

At the party, or--

Wait...

There--There is a party, right?

No.

I feel so stupid.

I was gonna tellyou.In fact, I tried--

Has anything thatyou've said been true?

You know what?It doesn't even matternow.

Because, you know, I'm notone of your callers, right?

Like, you know you can'tjustuse me for entertainment

and then disconnect from mewhenever you're done.

You knew thiswas gonna happen. Comeon.

I mean, now-- a month from now--at some point, they were gonnabring me back here.

So then why do all thiswith me?

What do you want meto say?

I have a deal with these people.

Okay?I made acommitment.

You may have a dealwith these people,

but you know nothingabout commitment.

Sandy.

Sandy, I'm sorry.

Where are you even gonnago?

[ Sighs ]

[ Carrie ]Welcome back to Pepperand Spice in the Morning.

We would like to thankour special guest Rat Mutants...

for stopping byon Christmas Day.

The final show of RatMutants'Merry Metal ChristmasTour...

is tonight, and I'm toldyou guys have got somesurprises up your sleeve.

Yeah, I'm performinga special mash-up...

of "Jingle Bells"and "Putrefied Maggots."

Can't get moreChristmassythan that, right?

[ No Audible Dialogue ]

So, um, I've got to tellyou--

When Pepper and Iwere in college,

we absolutely lovedyour first album.

Especially the thirdtrack.I, uh, I can't rememberthe name of it,

but I do know that wemade out to it...

for 12 minutesand 11 seconds.

I get that a lot.

Well, I bet you Pepperremembers the name of the track.

-Pepper?-Just a collegething, sweetie.

Long time ago.

Talk to me, Morris.What's going on here?

Uh, he's just a littleout of sync.

-He'll get it back.-Yeah, well, he better.

You know, we didn'tdouble his salary forthis.

And that's going to wrapthings up for today.

I'm Carrie.

And I'm outtahere.

[ Carrie ]And we'll be backtomorrow...

with more Pepperand Spice in the Morning.

And we're out.

Will somebody please tellmewhat's going on?

Okay, you tell himthat I want to see himin my office, now.

No worries.I'll talk to him.

Pepper!

[ Sighs ]

What are you tryingto do, man. Huh?

Get yourself kicked offthe air again?

Back off.

I just-- I can'tthinkstraight right now.

Oh, clearly.

Look, I'll get ittogether.I promise.

[ Sighs ]Okay.

Come on, Sandy.Answer.

[ Ringing ]

[ Sandy: Recording ]Hi, you've reached Sandy'scell phone. Leave a message.

Okay, this is a specialonefor you.

-Mom!-But it-- Oh, turn itlike that.

It's no big deal.You'll see.

What did youget me?

Hmm.

Oh--[ Laughs ]It's my little reindeer.

[ Kate ]Pepper was right.Poor thing was falling apart...

and there's no wayI could ever get rid ofthat.

Thank you.

Look, I know you'regoing through so muchright now,

and I'm so sorry.

Oh, Mom.[ Laughing, Crying ]

Oh.

I'm gonna go make usa pot of coffee,and we're gonna talk.

-Okay?-Okay.

[ Vibrates ]

[ Knocking On Door]

Merry Christmas.

Cole. Hi.

Merry Christmas.

Yeah, something tellsmeI'm not who you werehoping for.

No, no.It's nothing like that.

Come in.

I just dropped byto bring you this.

You didn't haveto get me a gift.

Well, just open it.

Okay.

-Cowboy boots.-[ Both Laughing ]

Wow.

You know, I think this might bethe first time...

anyone's every given mea pair of these.

Okay, but they'resort of symbolic.

I got a callfrom the network lastnight,

and they want me inDallastomorrow night.

You got the job. That's--That's fantastic.

And I still, uh,mean what I said.

I hope you come withme.

Cole, h-how can you meanthat?

After what happened.

Look, whateverhappenedbetween you andPepper,

it doesn't change the fact thatyou're great at what you do.

And, uh, the truthis--

I still want a chanceto make us work.

I'm gonna leaveafter the showtomorrow.

And I really hopeyou'rein the car with me.

[ Sandy: Recording ]No, you don't get your wifesexy lingerie for Christmas.

[ Pepper: Recording ]Why not? It's kind ofa his-and-hers gift.

[ Sandy ]Please, I like my p.j.'s flanneland preferably with feet.

[ Pepper ]Which explains whyyou're still single.

[ Laughing ]See? It's funny,right?

Yeah, it is.

But it's about as softas a bag of marshmallows.

You're wrong.You're wrong, man.

People love thisstuff.

Yeah, maybe back inWeedpatchor wherever you were.

But this is L.A.Nobody's gonna wantto hear that, man,

especially notcoming out of you.

How do you know?Man, come on.Give me an hour.

Middle of the night,I don't care.

I'll do it for free.

And if it flops,I'll let it go.I promise.

Pepper, it's not you.Huh?

You're all about edge.Getting crazy.

Being unpredictable.That's your brand.

What if I wanta different brand.

Then you will be walkingawayfrom a ton of money...

and a very successfulcareer.

[ Sighs ]Look, my advice to you...

is to just let her go, man.

-Hey.-Hi.

You going somewhere?

I haven't decided yet.

You know, Cole wants meto go with him to Dallas.

Wow.

What do you want to do?

I wantwhat I can't have.

Honey.

I don't know.Part of me thinksI should just go.

You know, give myselfa chance to startover.

And Cole? Is he someonethat you want to be with?

I don't know. I--Maybe someday.

Well, then maybe somedayyou should go to Dallas.

-But not now.-I can't stay here.

Every time I lookat that empty microphone,

I think about Pepper.

I don't think I couldget through a showwithoutcompletely falling apart.

Yes, you can.

It gets better.

I can't tell you how muchI used to feel that same way...

every time I'd be in bed...

and I'd lookat Dad's empty pillow.

Mom.

But it does get better.

You do what you need to do.

I love you.

I love you too.

Hey, Mr. Sterling.

Nice day, huh?

What's nice about it?

Well, my friends back eastare bragging about the snowthey got for the holidays.

I just think it's greatto be in Californiaat Christmas.

Depends on who you'rewith,I guess.

Yeah. I, uh--I know what you mean.

You know, my grandparentsfelt the same way.

They were, uh,married for 43 years.

God bless 'em.

Didn't matter where theywere,as long as they weretogether.

You know?That was the, uh--

That was the greatest placeon earth.

Thanks, Jimmy.I needed that.

Sure thing, sir.

Hey, Jimmy.

Something wrong, sir?

[ Chuckles ]No.

Something's right.

Something's very right.You know what?

I'm gonna need to getthose keys from you.

I'll see you.

Drive safe.

Here. Keep the change.

Hey, Kate. Is Sandyaround?

Pepper, what are youdoing here?

I came to tell herwhat an idiot I am.

Couldn't you have done thaton the phone?

No, I've realized itand I need to showher.

-Is she upstairs?-No, she's at work.

But her show isin the morning.

No, it'sa special broadcast today.

She's saying good-bye.

Good-bye?What are you talkingabout?

To her listeners.Didn't she call you?

No.

She's going to Dallas with Cole.

No.No, she can't do that.

I gotta go.I gotta go.

Thank you, Kate.Thank you.

Hey, come back! Wait!

I'm gonna need to borrowthat car of yours.

Yeah, yeah. Sure,sure.

Hey, do you knowhow to drive astick?

Of course.

-[ Engine Revving ]-[ Pepper ]Come on. Stupid truck.

Come on, let's go.[ Grunts ]

Come on!

[ Woman Caller ]He's obsessed with sports.

He says he'll do betterright after bowl season,

or the NFL play-offs.

For surebefore spring training.

-What do you think?Should I believe him?-[ Pops ]

Unfortunately it soundslikeyou're in a relationshipwith someone...

who doesn't wantthe same things as you.

So, you have a choice tomake.

You either spendthe rest of your lifewishing it weredifferent,

or... you move on.

Um, let's take our final break.

You're listening to a specialfarewell broadcast of Dr. Love.

[ Pops ]

Aww, man.

[ Honks ]

Move! Come on!

-Watch where you're going!-All right, already!

-Go!-Kill yourself!

-You got it?-Yeah.

[ Sandy Laughing ]Okay.

-One more.-Yeah.

[ Sighs ]

[ Grunting,Panting ]

[ Groans ]

Pepper?

Pepper!

Oh. Oh, man.Oh, I am so gladto have you back.

It's like a morgue inthere.

I'm starting to playfuneralmusic between the breaks.

Yeah, well, let it go.I'm not coming back.

Well--[ Chuckles ]

What do you meanyou're not comingback?

You belong here, man.Come on.

Now get down out of thatthingand do something totallyepic.

Give it up, Jonah.Okay?

Go find another hero.

I don't even give aboutthe radio show anymore, man.

I'm not what you think I am.

I'm just another guy.

Who said anythingabout the radio show?

I'm talking aboutSandy.

She loves you,dude.

I mean, even a nimrodlike me can see that.

You know what? Maybe,uh--Maybe you're right.

Maybe you'rejust another guy.

And she deserves a lotbetter than that.

[ Sandy ]Okay. That'll wrap things upfor me today.

On a personal note,I--

I just want to tell you allhow special you've made me feel.

And how grateful I am thatyou've let me into yourlives.

So... from the bottomof my heart, thank you.

[ Phone Rings ]

Dr. Love. Uh, you are callernumber too late.

She just hung up onher last victim. So--

-This is Dr. Sandra Loveand you've been listeningto---Uh, hold the phone, Doc.

What?

Uh, it looks like we havejust one more caller...

who could really usea little help.

Uh, okay.So, um, yeah.

I guess we have timefor one more quick call.

Who am I speakingwith?

An overpaid, rock-headed,Cro-Magnon twit...

who'd rather die than letthe love of his life slip away.

He finally understandswhat's missing in his life.

And even though it mayseemlike he has it all,

he realizes that he's gotnothing without her.

Uh, I-I can definitelyhear...

the regret in your voice,

but I think you mighthavewaited too long.

Not if she gives meanother chance.

I just don't knowif that's possible.

-Good-bye, caller.-Wait. Can I just sayone more thing?

What else is there tosay?

[ Sighs ]

I don't think I can expressitover the phone.

Maybe you should comeoutsideand see for yourself.

You're here?

This is crazy.I can't just walk outon my listeners likethat.

I don't think you haveto worry about that.

'Cause they're all out herewith me.

All right,this is it.

Now.

[ Cheering, Clapping ]

-Look, it's snowing.-Oh. [ Laughing ]

[ Both Laughing ]