Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:03,123 --> 00:00:05,419
'The measure of a man
is not in his beliefs,
2
00:00:05,443 --> 00:00:07,099
'but in his actions.
3
00:00:07,123 --> 00:00:10,619
'Who said that? Was it GK
Chesterton? Never mind.
4
00:00:10,643 --> 00:00:13,739
'Whoever it was knew what
they were talking about.
5
00:00:13,763 --> 00:00:15,179
'This vocation of ours,
6
00:00:15,203 --> 00:00:17,619
'it's about so much more than
just preaching the word of God.
7
00:00:17,643 --> 00:00:19,859
'It's about living it.
8
00:00:19,883 --> 00:00:21,939
'It's about getting out
there amongst the people.
9
00:00:21,963 --> 00:00:24,459
'Not just giving our time,
we're giving ourselves.
10
00:00:24,483 --> 00:00:25,979
'What we're doing
isn't important.
11
00:00:26,003 --> 00:00:28,099
'Who cares if we're
sleeping, eating?
12
00:00:28,123 --> 00:00:29,699
'These people need us.
13
00:00:29,723 --> 00:00:31,979
'We can't just sit on
the sidelines, praying.
14
00:00:32,003 --> 00:00:34,539
'What use is that on its own?
It's no bloody use at all.
15
00:00:34,563 --> 00:00:39,739
'Our door must always be open.
Day and night, night and day.
16
00:00:39,763 --> 00:00:42,339
'We have to DO as
well. We have to act.'
17
00:00:42,363 --> 00:00:44,619
We are the helpers.
18
00:00:44,643 --> 00:00:48,899
Every minute of every hour of
every day, it is our duty to help.
19
00:00:48,923 --> 00:00:52,379
Might I make a
suggestion? Of course.
20
00:00:52,403 --> 00:00:55,363
Do you think perhaps you
need a little holiday?
21
00:01:01,923 --> 00:01:03,779
[MR REEVES:] Welcome to Merries,
22
00:01:03,803 --> 00:01:07,339
where there's never a dull
day and the sun always shines.
23
00:01:07,363 --> 00:01:11,899
Leave your worries far behind you
and forget about everyday strife!
24
00:01:11,923 --> 00:01:14,459
We're here to put a
smile on your face.
25
00:01:14,483 --> 00:01:17,299
This is your time
to relax, to unwind,
26
00:01:17,323 --> 00:01:20,499
to enjoy life to the fullest.
27
00:01:20,523 --> 00:01:22,859
You can be who you
please at Merries,
28
00:01:22,883 --> 00:01:24,539
so put on your glad rags,
29
00:01:24,563 --> 00:01:26,619
dust off your dancing shoes,
30
00:01:26,643 --> 00:01:30,899
and get ready to make friends
and memories you'll never forget.
31
00:01:30,923 --> 00:01:34,819
I wish you and yours
a truly wonderful day!
32
00:01:34,843 --> 00:01:37,019
[MOTHER:] Off you go, then.
[CHILD:] Summer holiday!
33
00:01:37,043 --> 00:01:38,819
[CHILDREN WHOOP]
34
00:01:38,843 --> 00:01:42,099
I'm pretty sure hell is two
hours in a car with that lot.
35
00:01:42,123 --> 00:01:44,339
Sylvia, where's my hat?
36
00:01:44,363 --> 00:01:46,043
On your head, Jack.
37
00:01:47,443 --> 00:01:50,059
I need to make a call. I
didn't cancel Bible study.
38
00:01:50,083 --> 00:01:51,180
Oh, no, no, no. What?
39
00:01:51,204 --> 00:01:53,259
No talking about work.
We're on holiday.
40
00:01:53,283 --> 00:01:56,099
How was the train? Busy.
What have I missed?
41
00:01:56,123 --> 00:01:57,220
Will, talking about work.
42
00:01:57,244 --> 00:02:00,363
Oh, I don't talk about it that much.
You're still talking about it now.
43
00:02:01,683 --> 00:02:03,779
Where's Leonard?
Looking for his Gorki.
44
00:02:03,803 --> 00:02:06,043
Ooh, Sylvia, they
do donkey rides.
45
00:02:06,963 --> 00:02:09,739
A-ha! Only Maxim can get
me through this torment.
46
00:02:09,763 --> 00:02:11,819
To hell with Maxim.
47
00:02:11,843 --> 00:02:14,259
We're getting drunk
and going on a pedalo.
48
00:02:14,283 --> 00:02:16,499
Good Lord.
49
00:02:16,523 --> 00:02:20,363
[TRAIN WHISTLE
BLOWS, MAN CHUCKLES]
50
00:02:21,923 --> 00:02:24,099
Davenport party? That's us.
51
00:02:24,123 --> 00:02:26,019
[IN UNISON:] Welcome to Merries!
52
00:02:26,043 --> 00:02:28,699
I'm Roy Reeves, your
most venerated host.
53
00:02:28,723 --> 00:02:32,019
This is the other half, Babs.
We met at castanet class.
54
00:02:32,043 --> 00:02:34,379
Yeah, I don't know what
it was - we just clicked.
55
00:02:34,403 --> 00:02:37,419
Click, click! [THEY LAUGH.]
56
00:02:37,443 --> 00:02:40,739
Sunny, would you mind showing these
fine folk to their chalets, please?
57
00:02:40,763 --> 00:02:42,379
Absolutely, Mr Reeves.
58
00:02:42,403 --> 00:02:45,179
Castanet class! [HE CHUCKLES.]
59
00:02:45,203 --> 00:02:46,699
Ta-ra!
60
00:02:46,723 --> 00:02:48,779
I hope you're all
ready for a merry time!
61
00:02:48,803 --> 00:02:50,139
ALL: Yes.
62
00:02:50,163 --> 00:02:52,339
Doesn't sound very merry to me.
63
00:02:52,363 --> 00:02:54,619
Are you ready for a merry time?!
64
00:02:54,643 --> 00:02:56,659
ALL: Yes! Yes!
65
00:02:56,683 --> 00:02:58,363
[UPBEAT MUSIC]
66
00:03:08,403 --> 00:03:10,243
Yay!
67
00:03:22,563 --> 00:03:23,763
Hi!
68
00:03:39,403 --> 00:03:40,923
Didn't do this at
private school.
69
00:03:43,723 --> 00:03:45,083
Oh, good one!
70
00:03:46,083 --> 00:03:48,123
[MUSIC STOPS ABRUPTLY]
71
00:03:57,923 --> 00:04:01,979
Sorry, we're a little
delayed due to... Snoozing.
72
00:04:02,003 --> 00:04:04,323
Good to know. We'll
be right behind you.
73
00:04:09,243 --> 00:04:11,883
Sorry we're late, we
were... having a snooze.
74
00:04:15,963 --> 00:04:18,579
Sorry! Sorry! Having a snooze?
75
00:04:18,603 --> 00:04:20,459
If you say so.
76
00:04:20,483 --> 00:04:22,179
Jack! What?
77
00:04:22,203 --> 00:04:23,699
[THEY CHUCKLE]
78
00:04:23,723 --> 00:04:25,659
'Welcome, one and all!'
79
00:04:25,683 --> 00:04:28,059
Hope you're ready to have
some fun, fun, fun tonight,
80
00:04:28,083 --> 00:04:29,939
you merry lot!
81
00:04:29,963 --> 00:04:34,459
Welcome to the stage,
the one, the only,
82
00:04:34,483 --> 00:04:37,379
Merries House Band!
83
00:04:37,403 --> 00:04:39,083
[ROCK 'N' ROLL MUSIC]
84
00:04:42,923 --> 00:04:45,819
โช When I get withdrawal
It just gets me down
85
00:04:45,843 --> 00:04:48,899
โช A needle and a record Is
what keeps me sound... โช
86
00:04:48,923 --> 00:04:51,979
Fun (!) Was there ever
a more insipid word?
87
00:04:52,003 --> 00:04:54,219
You know what I
hate more than fun?
88
00:04:54,243 --> 00:04:55,899
[IN UNISON:] Enforced fun.
89
00:04:55,923 --> 00:04:59,059
If someone has to tell you
something's fun, it generally isn't.
90
00:04:59,083 --> 00:05:02,419
Oh, neighbours. Nice.
91
00:05:02,443 --> 00:05:06,499
I'm Sid Danker. This
is my... wife, Margie.
92
00:05:06,523 --> 00:05:08,139
Nice to meet ya. Hello.
93
00:05:08,163 --> 00:05:09,499
How do you do?
94
00:05:09,523 --> 00:05:11,939
Mwah! [SID CHUCKLES.]
95
00:05:11,963 --> 00:05:14,779
You been here before?
No, first time.
96
00:05:14,803 --> 00:05:18,219
Quality of guest isn't what
it was. Too many Northerners.
97
00:05:18,243 --> 00:05:20,699
Is that right? [CAMERA
CLICKS, LAUGHTER]
98
00:05:20,723 --> 00:05:23,259
I'll tell you what, we'll get on
your table tomorrow, shall we?
99
00:05:23,283 --> 00:05:24,579
We'll have a good chinwag.
100
00:05:24,603 --> 00:05:26,539
Lovely. Yeah, lovely.
101
00:05:26,563 --> 00:05:29,443
Wouldn't that be
lovely? [ALL:] Lovely.
102
00:05:45,483 --> 00:05:47,699
Scouts! I didn't cancel them.
103
00:05:47,723 --> 00:05:49,419
[ALL:] Will!
104
00:05:49,443 --> 00:05:50,843
Relax.
105
00:05:51,883 --> 00:05:53,259
Tiptoe through the roses.
106
00:05:53,283 --> 00:05:56,059
Tulips. Exactly.
107
00:05:56,083 --> 00:05:58,499
Breathe the fresh air.
Look at the stars.
108
00:05:58,523 --> 00:06:00,139
Have a snooze, maybe.
109
00:06:00,163 --> 00:06:03,299
It's been a while since
you had a lady friend.
110
00:06:03,323 --> 00:06:06,379
Romance, that's what you need.
Find yourself a nice girl.
111
00:06:06,403 --> 00:06:08,259
All right, all right,
thank you, everyone,
112
00:06:08,283 --> 00:06:10,459
for that sage and
unsolicited advice.
113
00:06:10,483 --> 00:06:12,979
Photograph? Two bob
for five copies.
114
00:06:13,003 --> 00:06:14,563
Oh, lovely.
115
00:06:15,603 --> 00:06:17,739
Smile. Come on.
116
00:06:17,763 --> 00:06:22,099
Say "Merries". [ALL:] Merries!
117
00:06:22,123 --> 00:06:23,939
[FLASHBULB POPS]
118
00:06:23,963 --> 00:06:25,699
[ALL CHUCKLE
119
00:06:25,723 --> 00:06:28,859
I couldn't help but overhear.
120
00:06:28,883 --> 00:06:31,083
If it's a nice girl
you're looking for...
121
00:06:37,683 --> 00:06:39,019
She's not my type.
122
00:06:39,043 --> 00:06:41,179
Too attractive?
123
00:06:41,203 --> 00:06:43,059
Too friendly?
124
00:06:43,083 --> 00:06:45,443
Too uncomplicated?
125
00:06:50,123 --> 00:06:54,059
[UPBEAT MUSIC]
126
00:06:54,083 --> 00:06:56,643
โช My sweet-looking
woman Ever so, so keen
127
00:06:59,483 --> 00:07:02,379
โช Can't get her out of my head
128
00:07:02,403 --> 00:07:04,539
โช She had eyes of
blue And lips of red
129
00:07:04,563 --> 00:07:07,819
โช Well, I just can't get
the woman Out of my head. โช
130
00:07:07,843 --> 00:07:10,043
[APPLAUSE AND CHEERING]
131
00:07:23,283 --> 00:07:27,259
The Merries House Band, everyone!
Weren't they fantastic, yeah?
132
00:07:27,283 --> 00:07:30,339
Now, before we crack on,
133
00:07:30,363 --> 00:07:33,539
regulars Margie and Sid
134
00:07:33,563 --> 00:07:36,779
have been married
two years today.
135
00:07:36,803 --> 00:07:38,379
Hurray! [APPLAUSE.]
136
00:07:38,403 --> 00:07:39,819
Come on, Marge, up you come.
137
00:07:39,843 --> 00:07:41,499
Up you come.
138
00:07:41,523 --> 00:07:43,363
Come on!
139
00:07:46,803 --> 00:07:49,259
Ain't she beautiful?
140
00:07:49,283 --> 00:07:52,803
Come on, give 'em a
spin. Give 'em a spin.
141
00:07:56,243 --> 00:07:58,483
Happy anniversary, darling.
142
00:08:00,763 --> 00:08:02,459
You're the light of my life.
143
00:08:02,483 --> 00:08:05,379
Let's see how that light's
going in a decade, eh, folks?
144
00:08:05,403 --> 00:08:07,379
[LAUGHTER]
145
00:08:07,403 --> 00:08:10,139
Margie and Sid!
146
00:08:10,163 --> 00:08:12,203
[APPLAUSE]
147
00:08:16,883 --> 00:08:19,139
For goodness' sake, Sid, do
you have to make such a show?
148
00:08:19,163 --> 00:08:20,819
Everyone's staring!
149
00:08:20,843 --> 00:08:23,339
[AUDIENCE LAUGH]
150
00:08:23,363 --> 00:08:25,739
Had my cheque book
stolen the other day.
151
00:08:25,763 --> 00:08:28,459
I didn't report
it to the police.
152
00:08:28,483 --> 00:08:30,859
Nah, the thief spent
less than the wife.
153
00:08:30,883 --> 00:08:33,179
But that is marriage for you.
154
00:08:33,203 --> 00:08:35,499
It a very expensive way of
getting your laundry done...
155
00:08:35,523 --> 00:08:38,259
I'm not sure I can sit through
this for the next five nights.
156
00:08:38,283 --> 00:08:40,899
Try a whole summer.
It's intolerable.
157
00:08:40,923 --> 00:08:45,019
You know, marriage, it's
like a deck chair, innit?
158
00:08:45,043 --> 00:08:49,019
It's ever so comfy at first,
bloody impossible to get out of.
159
00:08:49,043 --> 00:08:51,499
[LAUGHTER]
160
00:08:51,523 --> 00:08:53,819
Whoa! Sid!
161
00:08:53,843 --> 00:08:56,443
[LAUGHTER DIES AWAY]
162
00:08:59,603 --> 00:09:01,683
Help me get him
back to the chalet.
163
00:09:05,443 --> 00:09:07,459
Quality of guest
isn't what it was.
164
00:09:07,483 --> 00:09:09,819
I've got 'em rolling in
the aisles down here!
165
00:09:09,843 --> 00:09:12,179
It's not that funny, Sid.
166
00:09:12,203 --> 00:09:13,979
Now, the wife, she said...
167
00:09:14,003 --> 00:09:16,603
[MUSIC:] 'Goodnight Campers'
168
00:09:19,763 --> 00:09:21,003
Nightcap?
169
00:09:22,283 --> 00:09:24,859
I would, but I thought
it might be nice
170
00:09:24,883 --> 00:09:27,539
to take in the evening air.
171
00:09:27,563 --> 00:09:29,483
Right.
172
00:09:31,123 --> 00:09:33,379
[SHARP KNOCK AT DOOR]
173
00:09:33,403 --> 00:09:36,459
[KNOCKING CONTINUES]
174
00:09:36,483 --> 00:09:38,163
That's not the knock.
175
00:09:48,923 --> 00:09:51,019
[GENTLE BREEZE]
176
00:09:51,043 --> 00:09:53,123
[OWL HOOTS]
177
00:10:09,323 --> 00:10:12,643
[BURST OF PIPED-IN MUSIC]
178
00:10:17,603 --> 00:10:19,739
Simon says touch your knees.
179
00:10:19,763 --> 00:10:21,699
Oh, they're playing Simon Says.
180
00:10:21,723 --> 00:10:23,459
Do you wanna join in?
181
00:10:23,483 --> 00:10:25,299
No? Oh.
182
00:10:25,323 --> 00:10:27,659
Simon says hop like a bunny
rabbit! Hop, hop, hop.
183
00:10:27,683 --> 00:10:29,323
Good Lord.
184
00:10:31,323 --> 00:10:33,259
Oh, come on, I'm starving.
185
00:10:33,283 --> 00:10:36,699
My stomach thinks my
throat's been cut.
186
00:10:36,723 --> 00:10:39,019
I know. I understand. I've
been here for 25 minutes!
187
00:10:39,043 --> 00:10:41,579
This happened last
year! I want a refund!
188
00:10:41,603 --> 00:10:44,379
Ladies and gentlemen, if
you could just bear with us.
189
00:10:44,403 --> 00:10:47,099
Come with me now. We'll be serving
breakfast as soon as we can.
190
00:10:47,123 --> 00:10:49,979
Standards have
slipped. Didn't I say?
191
00:10:50,003 --> 00:10:52,363
Probably all those
Northerners, eh (?)
192
00:10:53,483 --> 00:10:56,723
Oh, looks like somebody
had the dodgy salmon.
193
00:10:59,563 --> 00:11:03,003
Nah, I'm on my holidays.
194
00:11:16,283 --> 00:11:18,483
Guests aren't allowed
in yet. I'm a vicar.
195
00:11:58,003 --> 00:11:59,939
Wife's in a terrible state.
196
00:11:59,963 --> 00:12:01,779
It's none of my business.
197
00:12:01,803 --> 00:12:03,579
Police haven't
sealed off the scene.
198
00:12:03,603 --> 00:12:07,459
My only business is
relaxing with my thoughts.
199
00:12:07,483 --> 00:12:09,299
Already seen the
laundry men go in.
200
00:12:09,323 --> 00:12:11,443
Guests leaving without
being interviewed.
201
00:12:13,203 --> 00:12:15,003
Absolutely not.
202
00:12:17,523 --> 00:12:19,643
Absolutely bloody not.
203
00:12:23,843 --> 00:12:26,603
You might want to photograph
the body before you move him.
204
00:12:28,283 --> 00:12:33,019
Detective Constable Gerry Wicks.
And who the hell might you be?
205
00:12:33,043 --> 00:12:35,563
Detective Inspector Keating.
206
00:12:36,963 --> 00:12:39,923
I see. Technically,
"I see, sir."
207
00:12:41,563 --> 00:12:43,859
Wife says he had a dodgy ticker.
208
00:12:43,883 --> 00:12:46,619
Few too many beers,
few too many ciggies.
209
00:12:46,643 --> 00:12:48,603
Hits the deck like
a sack of potatoes.
210
00:12:52,083 --> 00:12:53,819
Apologies.
211
00:12:53,843 --> 00:12:55,459
It's natural causes.
212
00:12:55,483 --> 00:12:57,899
I'd stake my life on it.
213
00:12:57,923 --> 00:13:01,283
Geordie, soil.
214
00:13:02,443 --> 00:13:04,403
Here, you see.
215
00:13:05,603 --> 00:13:06,859
He was dragged in.
216
00:13:06,883 --> 00:13:09,219
Lidocaine.
217
00:13:09,243 --> 00:13:11,619
Might not wanna stake your life
on natural causes just yet.
218
00:13:11,643 --> 00:13:13,259
Was he taking painkillers?
219
00:13:13,283 --> 00:13:17,059
Roy had a slipped disk. It
had bothered him for years.
220
00:13:17,083 --> 00:13:19,899
Was it bothering him last
night? Well, I wouldn't know.
221
00:13:19,923 --> 00:13:23,339
He comes here to practise
his routine after closing.
222
00:13:23,363 --> 00:13:25,819
I was in bed.
223
00:13:25,843 --> 00:13:31,843
Ah, thank you! Thank you
for your concern... sir.
224
00:13:32,603 --> 00:13:35,163
I look forward to
speaking again, Gerry.
225
00:13:38,083 --> 00:13:40,403
You don't mind if I
call you Gerry, do you?
226
00:13:43,803 --> 00:13:46,059
If you could be as
discreet as possible,
227
00:13:46,083 --> 00:13:48,419
I would really appreciate it.
228
00:13:48,443 --> 00:13:51,099
You seemed upset by
your husband's jokes.
229
00:13:51,123 --> 00:13:53,299
They're terrible jokes.
230
00:13:53,323 --> 00:13:55,539
About his terrible wife.
231
00:13:55,563 --> 00:13:57,659
It's an act. It's not real.
232
00:13:57,683 --> 00:13:59,179
A little close to the knuckle.
233
00:13:59,203 --> 00:14:01,579
A joke isn't a joke if it's
not close to the knuckle,
234
00:14:01,603 --> 00:14:03,163
wouldn't you say?
235
00:14:08,683 --> 00:14:09,923
[DOOR CLOSES]
236
00:14:12,363 --> 00:14:16,059
Five whole days without a
carcass, is it too much to ask?
237
00:14:16,083 --> 00:14:17,579
We keep going.
238
00:14:17,603 --> 00:14:21,379
We keep giving our guests
a merry old time, for Roy.
239
00:14:21,403 --> 00:14:23,419
She seems pretty stoic.
240
00:14:23,443 --> 00:14:26,939
Howdy there, fellas. Howdy, Sid.
241
00:14:26,963 --> 00:14:29,339
Is it a murder? Is it the wife?
242
00:14:29,363 --> 00:14:30,779
Sylvia!
243
00:14:30,803 --> 00:14:33,259
In my Agatha Christies,
it's always the wife.
244
00:14:33,283 --> 00:14:37,179
Well, it looks like natural
causes. Aw, poor chap.
245
00:14:37,203 --> 00:14:38,739
Time to join our conga line!
246
00:14:38,763 --> 00:14:41,843
Conga line, Sylvia! Ooh,
I love a conga line!
247
00:14:43,043 --> 00:14:45,923
Sorry about Mr Reeves. He'd
want us to enjoy ourselves.
248
00:14:48,563 --> 00:14:51,099
[MRS REEVES ON LOUDSPEAKER:] Let's
make this a day to remember!
249
00:14:51,123 --> 00:14:53,923
The longest conga line yet!
250
00:14:58,363 --> 00:15:00,723
Did you hear that
music blast last night?
251
00:15:02,723 --> 00:15:04,883
It was ten past
midnight, I checked.
252
00:15:06,643 --> 00:15:08,179
Come and join the conga line!
253
00:15:08,203 --> 00:15:10,339
Come on, you two, no excuses!
254
00:15:10,363 --> 00:15:13,363
Because nothing says "in
memoriam" like a conga line (!)
255
00:15:15,363 --> 00:15:16,739
Is that an Argus? It is.
256
00:15:16,763 --> 00:15:18,859
Bit old, but...
257
00:15:18,883 --> 00:15:21,899
I use an Argus. I've actually
just had some photos accepted
258
00:15:21,923 --> 00:15:25,659
for an exhibition. Really?
We'd love to take a look.
259
00:15:25,683 --> 00:15:28,339
[LOUDSPEAKER:] Calling Mr
Marlowe to the conga line!
260
00:15:28,363 --> 00:15:30,579
Daniel Marlowe, hurry up!
261
00:15:30,603 --> 00:15:33,163
Duty calls. Another
time, perhaps.
262
00:15:37,243 --> 00:15:40,059
Oh, Gorki. Have you read it?
263
00:15:40,083 --> 00:15:42,803
Half of it. It's quite...
264
00:15:44,923 --> 00:15:46,979
Impenetrable? Dull?
265
00:15:47,003 --> 00:15:49,659
So unbelievably dull.
266
00:15:49,683 --> 00:15:53,179
[LOUDSPEAKER:] Calling Leonard
Finch to the conga line.
267
00:15:53,203 --> 00:15:56,219
Leonard Finch to the
conga line. Hurry up!
268
00:15:56,243 --> 00:15:57,859
Leonard Finch.
269
00:15:57,883 --> 00:16:00,323
Bryan Stanford.
270
00:16:09,563 --> 00:16:11,803
So, he's listening to this.
271
00:16:15,563 --> 00:16:18,739
[RECORD PLAYS]
272
00:16:18,763 --> 00:16:20,619
He slumps forward...
273
00:16:20,643 --> 00:16:23,003
[MUSIC PLAYS THROUGH
SPEAKERS, CRACKLES]
274
00:16:25,043 --> 00:16:26,459
[RECORD STOPS]
275
00:16:26,483 --> 00:16:29,403
OK, but then how does he
end up in the ballroom?
276
00:16:42,403 --> 00:16:43,683
Geordie.
277
00:16:53,843 --> 00:16:57,339
Excuse me, guests
aren't allowed in here.
278
00:16:57,363 --> 00:16:59,803
Sorry, we... we didn't realise.
279
00:17:01,083 --> 00:17:02,739
Ah, would you look at that?
280
00:17:02,763 --> 00:17:04,283
Mm-hm, fancy (!)
281
00:17:05,883 --> 00:17:09,619
This safe, where does
Mr Reeves keep the key?
282
00:17:09,643 --> 00:17:11,859
You shouldn't be in
here. He's a detective.
283
00:17:11,883 --> 00:17:14,459
He's just doing his
job. And I'm doing mine.
284
00:17:14,483 --> 00:17:16,419
Perhaps you'd like to
answer his question.
285
00:17:16,443 --> 00:17:19,283
Perhaps you'd like
to obey the sign.
286
00:17:22,883 --> 00:17:25,139
Ah. Mm-hm.
287
00:17:25,163 --> 00:17:27,923
Enjoy rifling through a
dead man's belongings.
288
00:17:29,883 --> 00:17:31,923
Does she ever stop smiling?
289
00:17:37,603 --> 00:17:39,699
Sorry, you were probably
just being polite,
290
00:17:39,723 --> 00:17:41,859
saying you'd see my
work. Not at all.
291
00:17:41,883 --> 00:17:44,099
Beautiful light.
292
00:17:44,123 --> 00:17:46,803
Not that I'm an aficionado.
293
00:17:49,563 --> 00:17:51,579
Firenze! Have you been?
294
00:17:51,603 --> 00:17:53,579
No.
295
00:17:53,603 --> 00:17:56,899
Me neither. I've
never been anywhere.
296
00:17:56,923 --> 00:17:58,763
Thank you.
297
00:17:59,763 --> 00:18:02,179
I went to Morocco once.
298
00:18:02,203 --> 00:18:05,003
It was transcendent.
299
00:18:07,163 --> 00:18:09,419
Hard to find transcendence
in this place.
300
00:18:09,443 --> 00:18:11,083
I can imagine.
301
00:18:20,723 --> 00:18:23,403
There's hours' worth
of Cinefilm here.
302
00:18:27,323 --> 00:18:29,763
Oh, Margie gets about a bit.
303
00:18:30,963 --> 00:18:33,179
Not just the Northerners
lowering the tone, then.
304
00:18:33,203 --> 00:18:37,643
She's no ordinary holidaymaker.
She was working the camp.
305
00:18:40,763 --> 00:18:43,739
Roy sets his male guests up
with Margie, takes these...
306
00:18:43,763 --> 00:18:46,283
Then what, he blackmails them?
307
00:18:48,083 --> 00:18:51,323
Not exactly the souvenir snap
you'd want your wife to see, is it?
308
00:18:56,683 --> 00:18:58,499
Well, would you look at that?
309
00:18:58,523 --> 00:19:02,363
Well, that is certainly one way
to meet the light of your life.
310
00:19:03,803 --> 00:19:06,083
[INSTRUCTOR:] Bodies
square, please.
311
00:19:07,203 --> 00:19:08,939
Right.
312
00:19:08,963 --> 00:19:10,459
May I?
313
00:19:10,483 --> 00:19:12,659
All right. Got my eye on you.
314
00:19:12,683 --> 00:19:15,379
Keep your hands north of
the border. Sid, please!
315
00:19:15,403 --> 00:19:17,443
[SID CHUCKLES]
316
00:19:23,603 --> 00:19:25,283
So, how long you
been coming here?
317
00:19:26,323 --> 00:19:30,219
I used to work here, so...
Let me guess. You're a dancer.
318
00:19:30,243 --> 00:19:33,899
Dancer, singer.
319
00:19:33,923 --> 00:19:36,619
Entertainment was
something back then.
320
00:19:36,643 --> 00:19:40,099
Local paper used to say I was
destined for the West End.
321
00:19:40,123 --> 00:19:41,723
[BOTH CHUCKLE]
322
00:19:43,883 --> 00:19:46,379
Is this where you and Sid met?
323
00:19:46,403 --> 00:19:49,419
Place must hold happy memories.
324
00:19:49,443 --> 00:19:53,083
I think you should concentrate
on your footwork, Mr Davenport.
325
00:19:54,883 --> 00:19:57,403
Margie, we've seen
the photographs.
326
00:19:58,843 --> 00:20:01,123
The ones Mr Reeves took.
327
00:20:04,323 --> 00:20:06,083
Excuse me.
328
00:20:10,203 --> 00:20:11,739
Margie?
329
00:20:11,763 --> 00:20:13,563
What did you say to her?
330
00:20:22,483 --> 00:20:24,099
What is it, my love?
331
00:20:24,123 --> 00:20:26,963
Come here. Stop
fretting, Sid, please.
332
00:20:28,043 --> 00:20:29,539
I demand to know
what you said to her.
333
00:20:29,563 --> 00:20:32,659
Demand? Don't be so dramatic.
334
00:20:32,683 --> 00:20:35,739
They know. About me.
335
00:20:35,763 --> 00:20:37,923
What sodding business
is it of yours?
336
00:20:40,403 --> 00:20:43,483
I thought you were on your
holidays? So did I, Sid.
337
00:20:44,763 --> 00:20:46,563
I saved her from that bastard.
338
00:20:47,843 --> 00:20:50,819
What matters is Margie's
with me now and she's happy.
339
00:20:50,843 --> 00:20:52,739
You got nothing to be
ashamed of, my love.
340
00:20:52,763 --> 00:20:55,203
Do you have to make such
a song and dance, Sid?
341
00:20:59,483 --> 00:21:01,819
You must've despised him.
342
00:21:01,843 --> 00:21:04,379
Us, and anyone who met him.
343
00:21:04,403 --> 00:21:07,979
So, why come back? To rub
the bastard's nose in it.
344
00:21:08,003 --> 00:21:09,979
He tried to ruin me.
345
00:21:10,003 --> 00:21:13,603
I got the girl. I got
the happy ever after.
346
00:21:15,283 --> 00:21:17,363
Good riddance to him, I say.
347
00:21:22,683 --> 00:21:25,739
Do you ever feel different
from other people?
348
00:21:25,763 --> 00:21:28,019
I think the more appropriate
question might be,
349
00:21:28,043 --> 00:21:30,403
do I ever feel
remotely the same?
350
00:21:33,203 --> 00:21:36,339
You know, I... I look around here
and I see all these people smiling
351
00:21:36,363 --> 00:21:38,139
and enjoying themselves.
352
00:21:38,163 --> 00:21:41,299
All this inane bloody nonsense.
353
00:21:41,323 --> 00:21:43,979
They're just having fun.
354
00:21:44,003 --> 00:21:46,963
It is terribly inane,
though, isn't it?
355
00:21:53,323 --> 00:21:57,379
Being different isn't
so terribly bad.
356
00:21:57,403 --> 00:22:00,563
Better than being
something you're not.
357
00:22:03,883 --> 00:22:06,059
You'll go there one day.
358
00:22:06,083 --> 00:22:09,299
Sell your photographs
outside the Duomo.
359
00:22:09,323 --> 00:22:11,643
Make an absolute fortune.
360
00:22:13,203 --> 00:22:14,643
No.
361
00:22:16,843 --> 00:22:18,283
Sorry.
362
00:22:19,283 --> 00:22:22,203
No, sorry. I'm sorry.
363
00:22:39,123 --> 00:22:42,139
Bringing your wife back to
the place she turned tricks.
364
00:22:42,163 --> 00:22:45,763
To show off to your blackmailer.
Who says romance is dead?
365
00:22:46,963 --> 00:22:50,123
Who turned tricks?
Who's a blackmailer?
366
00:22:51,283 --> 00:22:53,219
No-one.
367
00:22:53,243 --> 00:22:55,699
I've set up the projector in
the main office, Inspector.
368
00:22:55,723 --> 00:22:57,379
Thank you.
369
00:22:57,403 --> 00:22:59,699
It's just a bit of film
I've got to watch, Cathy.
370
00:22:59,723 --> 00:23:01,379
Natural causes, you said.
371
00:23:01,403 --> 00:23:03,899
As natural as they come.
372
00:23:03,923 --> 00:23:06,779
And Detective Wicks
will be here shortly.
373
00:23:06,803 --> 00:23:08,139
Mm-hm.
374
00:23:08,163 --> 00:23:11,419
Promise me there is not
a murderer on the loose.
375
00:23:11,443 --> 00:23:13,299
What about the kids?!
376
00:23:13,323 --> 00:23:15,323
Wouldn't fancy his
chances against our lot.
377
00:23:16,403 --> 00:23:18,923
We don't know if it's murder.
378
00:23:20,363 --> 00:23:22,539
Not for sure.
379
00:23:22,563 --> 00:23:25,163
[SHE SIGHS] Five days, you said.
380
00:23:29,083 --> 00:23:32,219
Do you know what's
worse than enforced fun?
381
00:23:32,243 --> 00:23:34,163
Someone that sulks
their way through it.
382
00:23:36,163 --> 00:23:37,883
Don't be angry.
383
00:23:39,363 --> 00:23:41,539
Why would I be angry?
384
00:23:41,563 --> 00:23:45,019
I was convivial with Bryan,
385
00:23:45,043 --> 00:23:47,619
he got the wrong impression,
386
00:23:47,643 --> 00:23:49,643
and... Sir?
387
00:23:51,003 --> 00:23:53,419
And...?
388
00:23:53,443 --> 00:23:56,179
[WHISPERS:] He tried to kiss me.
389
00:23:56,203 --> 00:23:58,819
Bryan? Bryan, Bryan?!
390
00:23:58,843 --> 00:24:00,619
Shhh!
391
00:24:00,643 --> 00:24:03,819
Take it as a compliment.
392
00:24:03,843 --> 00:24:06,083
You're a handsome chap.
He's a handsome chap.
393
00:24:11,803 --> 00:24:14,299
โช I can't No matter
how hard I try
394
00:24:14,323 --> 00:24:16,779
โช So why don't you join
me And face your fears?
395
00:24:16,803 --> 00:24:19,779
โช Stay still, honey And
I'll check your arrears
396
00:24:19,803 --> 00:24:21,619
โช Pretty woman There's
no turning back
397
00:24:21,643 --> 00:24:23,939
โช You've got to feel it baby
Like a train on a track... โช
398
00:24:23,963 --> 00:24:25,140
Overdose.
399
00:24:25,164 --> 00:24:29,059
There's enough lidocaine to kill
that bloody donkey out there.
400
00:24:29,083 --> 00:24:31,579
I still think there's a chance
it could be natural causes.
401
00:24:31,603 --> 00:24:34,259
When was the last time
you had a murder case?
402
00:24:34,283 --> 00:24:36,923
'36, I believe.
403
00:24:38,523 --> 00:24:40,083
Where were you?
404
00:24:41,883 --> 00:24:43,123
School.
405
00:24:44,163 --> 00:24:46,979
I'll look this over for
you, how about that, hm?
406
00:24:47,003 --> 00:24:50,819
I doubt it'll make much
difference, but if you must.
407
00:24:50,843 --> 00:24:52,539
โช I need a rhythm
With a stomping beat
408
00:24:52,563 --> 00:24:54,779
โช It's ruling my body
From my head to my feet
409
00:24:54,803 --> 00:24:57,299
โช I need a small dose
Just to keep me sane
410
00:24:57,323 --> 00:24:59,819
โช While the rock 'n' roll
music Flows to my brain
411
00:24:59,843 --> 00:25:03,939
โช I can't live without it
now Don't you doubt it, baby
412
00:25:03,963 --> 00:25:07,899
โช Well, you may think I'm
crazy But it's my desire
413
00:25:07,923 --> 00:25:09,899
โช This sound Is just
what gets me high
414
00:25:09,923 --> 00:25:13,019
โช You can tell me to quit
But I'll have to admit
415
00:25:13,043 --> 00:25:15,939
โช I can't No matter
how hard I try
416
00:25:15,963 --> 00:25:18,739
โช So why don't you join me
And face your fears... โช
417
00:25:18,763 --> 00:25:21,819
Mrs Reeves. Evening, Miss Grant.
418
00:25:21,843 --> 00:25:23,459
Lovely dress.
419
00:25:23,483 --> 00:25:25,259
Were you aware of your
husband's dealings?
420
00:25:25,283 --> 00:25:26,659
We having a merry old time?
421
00:25:26,683 --> 00:25:29,099
Did you know he was
blackmailing the guests?
422
00:25:29,123 --> 00:25:31,779
Of course I bloody did.
But you didn't stop him?
423
00:25:31,803 --> 00:25:33,899
This place was my father's.
424
00:25:33,923 --> 00:25:36,499
Then I married, and
it belonged to Roy.
425
00:25:36,523 --> 00:25:38,219
He ruined it.
426
00:25:38,243 --> 00:25:40,859
That's the way it
goes, isn't it?
427
00:25:40,883 --> 00:25:45,899
So, yes, I knew what he was
doing. And, no, I didn't stop him.
428
00:25:45,923 --> 00:25:47,803
Does that answer your question?
429
00:25:51,883 --> 00:25:55,403
Lidocaine. Injected?
430
00:25:56,843 --> 00:25:58,459
Swelling in the throat.
431
00:25:58,483 --> 00:26:01,939
So he ingested it.
With his supper, maybe?
432
00:26:01,963 --> 00:26:04,459
Starting to wish I
hadn't had that hot pot.
433
00:26:04,483 --> 00:26:06,699
He was fine on stage.
434
00:26:06,723 --> 00:26:08,819
It must be someone who knew him.
435
00:26:08,843 --> 00:26:11,883
Excuse me, would you like
to dance? Not now, sorry.
436
00:26:14,323 --> 00:26:16,163
Someone who knew
he took lidocaine.
437
00:26:19,643 --> 00:26:21,563
What?
438
00:26:23,803 --> 00:26:25,723
You only live once.
439
00:26:33,323 --> 00:26:35,219
I think I was a little rude.
440
00:26:35,243 --> 00:26:38,539
A little? Inordinately rude.
441
00:26:38,563 --> 00:26:40,379
Extremely, supremely...
442
00:26:40,403 --> 00:26:43,939
Extraordinarily?
Extraordinarily rude.
443
00:26:43,963 --> 00:26:46,003
I'd love to dance with you.
444
00:26:51,123 --> 00:26:53,163
You coming or not?
445
00:27:16,523 --> 00:27:18,723
Now who's smiling?
446
00:27:37,043 --> 00:27:39,963
[THEY CHUCKLE]
447
00:27:41,243 --> 00:27:45,059
So, tell me. Pamela.
My real name's Pamela.
448
00:27:45,083 --> 00:27:48,379
Pamela's nice. Pamela's...
Middle-aged with too many kids.
449
00:27:48,403 --> 00:27:50,243
Ha! And a husband she hates.
450
00:27:51,363 --> 00:27:53,699
Pamela Smith doesn't get top
billing at the Palladium.
451
00:27:53,723 --> 00:27:57,179
Besides, everyone here's pretending
to be someone they're not.
452
00:27:57,203 --> 00:27:59,179
I bet even you are.
453
00:27:59,203 --> 00:28:03,539
Sadly, I am deeply
uncomplicated. Uh-uh. No.
454
00:28:03,563 --> 00:28:06,299
This face is hiding
all sorts of secrets.
455
00:28:06,323 --> 00:28:08,459
Go on, then, try me.
456
00:28:08,483 --> 00:28:10,619
You've got a love child.
457
00:28:10,643 --> 00:28:12,779
Not that I know of.
458
00:28:12,803 --> 00:28:14,979
Doomed affair with
a beautiful widow?
459
00:28:15,003 --> 00:28:16,219
Ah, if only.
460
00:28:16,243 --> 00:28:18,723
There must be something.
461
00:28:19,883 --> 00:28:22,299
I am my work. My work is me.
462
00:28:22,323 --> 00:28:24,203
That's as scandalous as it gets.
463
00:28:26,963 --> 00:28:28,483
[THEY LAUGH]
464
00:28:49,443 --> 00:28:52,259
Do you ever feel like you work
because there's something missing?
465
00:28:52,283 --> 00:28:55,683
That got serious suddenly.
We can do serious, can't we?
466
00:28:57,483 --> 00:29:00,699
I love what I do. I love
making people happy.
467
00:29:00,723 --> 00:29:03,283
Oh, I love my job,
too. I just...
468
00:29:04,523 --> 00:29:06,939
Sometimes, I feel like there
must be something else.
469
00:29:06,963 --> 00:29:08,843
Like what?
470
00:29:10,003 --> 00:29:11,419
I don't know.
471
00:29:11,443 --> 00:29:13,363
Yes, you do.
472
00:29:19,563 --> 00:29:21,259
You know how this goes, right?
473
00:29:21,283 --> 00:29:24,139
We have a few nice nights,
you go back to your life,
474
00:29:24,163 --> 00:29:27,379
I go back to mine, and we
never see each other again.
475
00:29:27,403 --> 00:29:29,779
Mmm, it's a terrible idea (!)
476
00:29:29,803 --> 00:29:33,243
Terrible. Truly, truly awful.
477
00:29:45,763 --> 00:29:48,243
Er... I'm afraid I'm gonna
have to stop you there.
478
00:30:15,363 --> 00:30:20,059
He told me he'd destroy this. He
used you, like he used Margie.
479
00:30:20,083 --> 00:30:22,979
Not like Margie. I'm not cheap.
480
00:30:23,003 --> 00:30:25,683
You don't like what
Roy was making you do.
481
00:30:28,403 --> 00:30:30,299
Him dying certainly
put a stop to that.
482
00:30:30,323 --> 00:30:32,579
You think I killed him?
483
00:30:32,603 --> 00:30:35,459
Did you? 100 times in my head.
484
00:30:35,483 --> 00:30:37,099
But no.
485
00:30:37,123 --> 00:30:39,163
Did you sleep with them?
486
00:30:42,243 --> 00:30:44,699
[HE SCOFFS]
487
00:30:44,723 --> 00:30:46,939
Is that all this was to you?
488
00:30:46,963 --> 00:30:49,043
Just a way to blackmail me?
489
00:30:58,963 --> 00:31:01,699
Oh, this is the most uncomfortable
bed I've ever slept in.
490
00:31:01,723 --> 00:31:03,459
It's cheap and it's gaudy,
491
00:31:03,483 --> 00:31:05,939
and I'd quite like Mrs
C to boil these sheets.
492
00:31:05,963 --> 00:31:08,939
Doesn't seem so bad.
493
00:31:08,963 --> 00:31:11,163
[KNOCK AT DOOR,
OPENS] Just a minute!
494
00:31:12,723 --> 00:31:14,763
Might I talk with you?
495
00:31:17,003 --> 00:31:18,803
Bryan.
496
00:31:33,283 --> 00:31:36,899
I never had Sunny down as a
younger version of Margie.
497
00:31:36,923 --> 00:31:38,499
Are you upset?
498
00:31:38,523 --> 00:31:40,803
No. You liar.
499
00:31:42,683 --> 00:31:46,563
You're right about one thing.
You do not have a type.
500
00:31:50,443 --> 00:31:52,059
From a nun to a prostitute.
501
00:31:52,083 --> 00:31:54,483
Geordie. It's almost biblical.
502
00:31:57,563 --> 00:31:59,579
It's Roy.
503
00:31:59,603 --> 00:32:02,123
Well, if he's in it,
then who took it?
504
00:32:03,803 --> 00:32:05,619
[APPLAUSE]
505
00:32:05,643 --> 00:32:09,179
Thank you, contestant
five. And the scores are?
506
00:32:09,203 --> 00:32:13,283
Go on, Margie, get up
there. I don't want to, Sid.
507
00:32:20,523 --> 00:32:22,859
And our final pair of pins!
508
00:32:22,883 --> 00:32:24,259
Go on, Sylvia.
509
00:32:24,283 --> 00:32:27,419
Contestant number six is
housekeeper to Reverend Davenport
510
00:32:27,443 --> 00:32:29,539
and his curate Mr Finch.
511
00:32:29,563 --> 00:32:33,779
What did God say after creating
man? "I can do better."
512
00:32:33,803 --> 00:32:36,003
And these legs are living proof.
513
00:32:37,203 --> 00:32:39,579
Bloody hell. Higher! Higher!
514
00:32:39,603 --> 00:32:41,619
Lower! Lower!
515
00:32:41,643 --> 00:32:43,379
Thank you, contestant
number six.
516
00:32:43,403 --> 00:32:45,779
And the scores are?
517
00:32:45,803 --> 00:32:47,539
Well done, Sylvia.
518
00:32:47,563 --> 00:32:50,539
And the winner is
contestant number 6!
519
00:32:50,563 --> 00:32:52,059
Oh!
520
00:32:52,083 --> 00:32:53,403
[APPLAUSE]
521
00:32:56,403 --> 00:32:59,339
This might be the
happiest day of my life.
522
00:32:59,363 --> 00:33:01,899
Our wedding apart, of course.
523
00:33:01,923 --> 00:33:05,043
You know they give it to the
old girls out of sympathy.
524
00:33:07,283 --> 00:33:09,603
Know that from
experience, Margie?
525
00:33:11,243 --> 00:33:12,763
Mrs Chapman.
526
00:33:14,523 --> 00:33:15,963
Excellent.
527
00:33:18,123 --> 00:33:20,843
A word, if you don't mind.
528
00:33:23,323 --> 00:33:26,083
Mr Reeves would set
up the men with Sunny.
529
00:33:27,163 --> 00:33:29,059
I'd film them.
530
00:33:29,083 --> 00:33:30,659
In flagrante?
531
00:33:30,683 --> 00:33:33,579
No, Sunny would
never go that far.
532
00:33:33,603 --> 00:33:36,563
She'd dance with
them. A kiss, maybe.
533
00:33:38,763 --> 00:33:40,539
What other footage do you have?
534
00:33:40,563 --> 00:33:43,579
You were filming the
night Mr Reeves died.
535
00:33:43,603 --> 00:33:46,483
Er... just his comedy routine.
536
00:33:51,403 --> 00:33:53,923
"Comedy" in inverted commas.
537
00:33:56,043 --> 00:33:57,659
Can I take this?
538
00:33:57,683 --> 00:33:59,283
Absolutely.
539
00:34:01,963 --> 00:34:05,083
You're a clergyman?
That's right.
540
00:34:06,563 --> 00:34:09,299
It's a rather delicate matter.
541
00:34:09,323 --> 00:34:11,643
Anything you say will
be in confidence.
542
00:34:16,083 --> 00:34:17,923
Your curate.
543
00:34:19,003 --> 00:34:22,139
I saw him with a man.
544
00:34:22,163 --> 00:34:24,283
They were in bed together.
545
00:34:26,003 --> 00:34:27,843
That can't be the case.
546
00:34:29,123 --> 00:34:31,019
Are you doubting what I saw?
547
00:34:31,043 --> 00:34:33,699
I'm doubting your
reading of the situation.
548
00:34:33,723 --> 00:34:35,579
What other way is
there to read it?
549
00:34:35,603 --> 00:34:37,579
I'll speak to him.
I should report it.
550
00:34:37,603 --> 00:34:38,843
I'll speak to him.
551
00:34:41,083 --> 00:34:43,523
Please, just... just
leave it with me.
552
00:34:47,163 --> 00:34:49,763
Action has to be
taken, Mr Davenport.
553
00:34:51,323 --> 00:34:53,643
He has to be dealt with.
554
00:35:08,483 --> 00:35:11,443
[INAUDIBLE]
555
00:35:25,963 --> 00:35:28,163
Bugger. Nothing.
556
00:35:29,563 --> 00:35:31,659
Let's watch it again.
557
00:35:31,683 --> 00:35:34,459
No, no, no, you don't.
558
00:35:34,483 --> 00:35:38,499
You're gonna have dinner with
me, then we're going to dance,
559
00:35:38,523 --> 00:35:40,779
before you walk me
out under the stars
560
00:35:40,803 --> 00:35:43,019
to tell me that you love me.
561
00:35:43,043 --> 00:35:44,619
Understood?
562
00:35:44,643 --> 00:35:46,963
That sounds pretty
comprehensive.
563
00:35:58,883 --> 00:36:00,523
He keeps staring.
564
00:36:01,883 --> 00:36:03,683
Have a drink, stop worrying.
565
00:36:09,923 --> 00:36:13,123
I'm so scared. Go
on, you'll be great.
566
00:36:21,363 --> 00:36:24,219
Roy promised he'd
make her a star.
567
00:36:24,243 --> 00:36:26,699
What she had to do
wasn't her choice.
568
00:36:26,723 --> 00:36:28,819
Roy wasn't there when
she made a play for me.
569
00:36:28,843 --> 00:36:31,003
Who said she was making a play?
570
00:36:32,163 --> 00:36:35,163
Did it ever cross your mind that
it was as simple as she liked you?
571
00:36:49,803 --> 00:36:51,819
Not now, I've got
butterflies enough.
572
00:36:51,843 --> 00:36:55,219
I'm sorry. You can understand
why I thought what I thought.
573
00:36:55,243 --> 00:36:56,939
That I was cheap?
574
00:36:56,963 --> 00:36:59,563
That your intentions
towards me were... Cheap.
575
00:37:00,803 --> 00:37:03,099
I'm not Margie. I
didn't say you were.
576
00:37:03,123 --> 00:37:05,259
I didn't sleep with them.
577
00:37:05,283 --> 00:37:07,659
I'm not hitching my wagon to
the first miserable old sod
578
00:37:07,683 --> 00:37:09,659
who can get me out of here.
579
00:37:09,683 --> 00:37:11,323
I liked you.
580
00:37:12,403 --> 00:37:14,043
Liked, past tense?
581
00:37:16,283 --> 00:37:18,819
[SONG ENDS, APPLAUSE]
582
00:37:18,843 --> 00:37:21,323
The Merries House Band!
583
00:37:23,643 --> 00:37:29,059
Now, please, give a very warm
welcome to tonight's act,
584
00:37:29,083 --> 00:37:31,563
Miss Pamela Smith.
585
00:37:33,323 --> 00:37:35,203
We'll see.
586
00:37:40,283 --> 00:37:41,923
Thank you. Thank you.
587
00:37:42,963 --> 00:37:45,139
I've been doing some
decorating recently.
588
00:37:45,163 --> 00:37:49,739
Do you know how many men it
takes to wallpaper a bedroom?
589
00:37:49,763 --> 00:37:52,179
Well, depends on how
thinly you slice them.
590
00:37:52,203 --> 00:37:54,323
[LAUGHTER]
591
00:38:01,563 --> 00:38:04,139
A friend of mine once
said that marriage is...
592
00:38:04,163 --> 00:38:06,779
The stout. What? ..a
three-ring circus.
593
00:38:06,803 --> 00:38:08,819
The lidocaine was in the
stout. Engagement ring,
594
00:38:08,843 --> 00:38:11,059
wedding ring, suffering.
595
00:38:11,083 --> 00:38:13,163
[LAUGHTER]
596
00:38:17,443 --> 00:38:19,843
Right, don't take your
eyes off that glass.
597
00:38:22,083 --> 00:38:24,019
Oh, bugger. No, no, no. No.
598
00:38:24,043 --> 00:38:26,243
Look how much stout's
in his glass now.
599
00:38:27,683 --> 00:38:29,123
Maybe he got a top up.
600
00:38:30,443 --> 00:38:32,683
Or someone gave him that glass.
601
00:38:36,043 --> 00:38:38,899
I sometimes think wives
are like ventriloquists.
602
00:38:38,923 --> 00:38:40,419
They sit there nodding
603
00:38:40,443 --> 00:38:42,179
whilst the dummy
does all the talking.
604
00:38:42,203 --> 00:38:44,019
[LAUGHTER]
605
00:38:44,043 --> 00:38:47,579
You know what I mean,
ladies, "Yak, yak, yak."
606
00:38:47,603 --> 00:38:49,899
Ah, my grandmother had it right.
607
00:38:49,923 --> 00:38:52,419
She buried three
husbands. Three!
608
00:38:52,443 --> 00:38:54,099
Two of them were only napping.
609
00:38:54,123 --> 00:38:56,939
My granny was onto
something, she really was.
610
00:38:56,963 --> 00:38:59,539
She said the quickest
way to a man's heart
611
00:38:59,563 --> 00:39:01,299
was through his chest. [LAUGHTER.]
612
00:39:01,323 --> 00:39:02,779
She wasn't wrong.
613
00:39:02,803 --> 00:39:04,499
You put the lidocaine
in your own drink
614
00:39:04,523 --> 00:39:06,099
and you gave it to Roy.
615
00:39:06,123 --> 00:39:07,739
I don't follow you.
616
00:39:07,763 --> 00:39:09,579
Outside.
617
00:39:09,603 --> 00:39:12,139
I have three pets, which is
pretty much like having a husband.
618
00:39:12,163 --> 00:39:14,579
A dog who growls all morning,
a parrot who swears all day,
619
00:39:14,603 --> 00:39:17,419
and a cat who comes
home late at night!
620
00:39:17,443 --> 00:39:19,859
If your husband brings
you flowers, ladies,
621
00:39:19,883 --> 00:39:22,659
and says it's for no
reason, there's a reason.
622
00:39:22,683 --> 00:39:24,819
There is most
definitely a reason.
623
00:39:24,843 --> 00:39:27,779
[HE REMEMBERS:] 'I'm not Margie.
624
00:39:27,803 --> 00:39:30,099
'I'm not hitching my wagon to
the first miserable old sod
625
00:39:30,123 --> 00:39:32,979
'who can get me out of here.'
626
00:39:33,003 --> 00:39:35,259
'For goodness' sake, Sid,
do you have to make a show?
627
00:39:35,283 --> 00:39:37,323
'Everyone's staring!'
628
00:39:50,443 --> 00:39:52,939
Roy set out to ruin you, Sid.
629
00:39:52,963 --> 00:39:56,379
You put enough lidocaine
in that drink to kill him.
630
00:39:56,403 --> 00:39:59,283
That's right, isn't it? No.
631
00:40:00,563 --> 00:40:03,019
No, it isn't right.
632
00:40:03,043 --> 00:40:06,739
It's pretty insensitive to bring
your wife here for your anniversary.
633
00:40:06,763 --> 00:40:09,899
A place where everyone
knew about her past.
634
00:40:09,923 --> 00:40:13,123
Perhaps that was the
final humiliation.
635
00:40:17,683 --> 00:40:20,043
You put the lidocaine
in Sid's pint.
636
00:40:24,403 --> 00:40:27,963
And then Roy accidentally took the
pint intended for your husband.
637
00:40:34,723 --> 00:40:37,819
When Sid fell, you must've
thought it was all going to plan.
638
00:40:37,843 --> 00:40:40,459
But he was drunk, not poisoned.
639
00:40:40,483 --> 00:40:41,859
Sid!
640
00:40:41,883 --> 00:40:44,483
I don't understand.
641
00:40:45,683 --> 00:40:47,499
You took Sid back
to your chalet.
642
00:40:47,523 --> 00:40:49,259
But he wasn't dying. SNORING.
643
00:40:49,283 --> 00:40:50,460
So you panicked.
644
00:40:50,484 --> 00:40:52,683
And then, for some reason,
you went out again.
645
00:40:55,123 --> 00:40:57,179
I still had the vial on me.
646
00:40:57,203 --> 00:40:58,779
Had to get rid of it.
647
00:40:58,803 --> 00:41:01,083
Margie, my love,
what are you saying?
648
00:41:02,843 --> 00:41:05,059
We know Roy was in his
office because of the music.
649
00:41:05,083 --> 00:41:06,299
[BURST OF MUSIC]
650
00:41:06,323 --> 00:41:09,419
And we know he made it outside
because of the mud on his shoes.
651
00:41:09,443 --> 00:41:10,659
[COUGHS]
652
00:41:10,683 --> 00:41:12,003
[GASPS]
653
00:41:17,203 --> 00:41:19,819
You knew Roy practised
his routine after hours.
654
00:41:19,843 --> 00:41:22,083
So you dragged him
into the ballroom.
655
00:41:23,923 --> 00:41:25,923
When I saw him, I knew.
656
00:41:29,443 --> 00:41:31,763
Knew what, Margie?
657
00:41:33,363 --> 00:41:35,403
That I'd killed the wrong man.
658
00:41:37,523 --> 00:41:39,283
You don't mean that.
659
00:41:40,243 --> 00:41:41,843
I don't understand. I don't.
660
00:41:42,803 --> 00:41:45,699
You brought me here
to score points.
661
00:41:45,723 --> 00:41:47,379
How do you think
that makes me feel?
662
00:41:47,403 --> 00:41:50,259
Roy was the one
who humiliated you.
663
00:41:50,283 --> 00:41:53,299
You treat me like
some kind of prize.
664
00:41:53,323 --> 00:41:55,939
I feel worthless, Sid.
665
00:41:55,963 --> 00:41:59,019
You were nothing but a
whore when I met you.
666
00:41:59,043 --> 00:42:02,099
And you still make
me feel like one.
667
00:42:02,123 --> 00:42:05,499
I saved you from the
bastard. That's not enough.
668
00:42:05,523 --> 00:42:08,859
I gave you everything.
Not love, Sid.
669
00:42:08,883 --> 00:42:11,523
You never gave me love.
670
00:42:27,763 --> 00:42:30,483
Even on holiday, we can't be us.
671
00:42:35,043 --> 00:42:38,299
Bryan would be a damn fool
to take it any further.
672
00:42:38,323 --> 00:42:40,659
It's more than that.
673
00:42:40,683 --> 00:42:43,163
We can never be ourselves.
674
00:42:44,763 --> 00:42:47,043
I long to hold hands.
675
00:42:50,923 --> 00:42:53,899
Imagine if we could
hold hands every day.
676
00:42:53,923 --> 00:42:56,283
It would become very
dull, very quickly.
677
00:43:02,683 --> 00:43:04,443
Come here.
678
00:43:13,923 --> 00:43:17,483
Right now, straight to the
car. Stop running, Ivy!
679
00:43:20,603 --> 00:43:23,899
Knew that Margie had a glint in
her eye. Oh, that's definitive.
680
00:43:23,923 --> 00:43:26,299
I was right, though.
It was the wife.
681
00:43:26,323 --> 00:43:28,782
You thought it was Roy's wife!
You can't just pick any wife.
682
00:43:34,003 --> 00:43:35,379
These are yours.
683
00:43:35,403 --> 00:43:37,283
Thank you.
684
00:43:41,963 --> 00:43:43,779
I've spoken to Mr Finch.
685
00:43:43,803 --> 00:43:45,859
And?
686
00:43:45,883 --> 00:43:48,963
I'll be taking up the
matter on our return.
687
00:43:50,163 --> 00:43:52,059
I felt it was my duty.
688
00:43:52,083 --> 00:43:54,819
More than that, I felt it
was a moral obligation.
689
00:43:54,843 --> 00:43:57,059
I hope you understand.
690
00:43:57,083 --> 00:44:00,099
I'd appreciate it if you'd
let me handle it from here.
691
00:44:00,123 --> 00:44:02,003
Of course.
692
00:44:06,483 --> 00:44:08,339
What did he want?
693
00:44:08,363 --> 00:44:10,803
Photographs. That all?
694
00:44:12,003 --> 00:44:13,579
What else would it be?
695
00:44:13,603 --> 00:44:15,579
Now, I don't know about you,
696
00:44:15,603 --> 00:44:18,083
but I am really looking
forward to getting home.
697
00:44:23,843 --> 00:44:26,539
Thing about this place,
everyone always leaves.
698
00:44:26,563 --> 00:44:28,459
You could leave, too.
699
00:44:28,483 --> 00:44:30,499
I'm going to. End of the season.
700
00:44:30,523 --> 00:44:32,179
You're wrong, by the way.
701
00:44:32,203 --> 00:44:34,299
I seem to be making
a habit of that.
702
00:44:34,323 --> 00:44:36,659
Maybe you work
because you love it,
703
00:44:36,683 --> 00:44:39,523
not because there's
something missing.
704
00:44:44,283 --> 00:44:45,499
Shame.
705
00:44:45,523 --> 00:44:48,243
I think I could've
fallen in love with you.
706
00:44:54,963 --> 00:44:58,619
[MRS REEVES:] Welcome to Merries,
where there's never a dull day,
707
00:44:58,643 --> 00:45:00,939
and the sun always shines.
708
00:45:00,963 --> 00:45:02,739
Forget work,
709
00:45:02,763 --> 00:45:04,659
leave your worries far behind
710
00:45:04,683 --> 00:45:09,859
and get ready to make friends
and memories you'll never forget.
711
00:45:09,883 --> 00:45:14,539
For those guests who are leaving
us, we wish you bon voyage.
712
00:45:14,563 --> 00:45:18,139
But don't despair,
it's not forever.
713
00:45:18,163 --> 00:45:23,379
Though you may be far away,
no distance can keep us apart.
714
00:45:23,403 --> 00:45:27,099
We'll hold you
safe in our hearts.
715
00:45:27,123 --> 00:45:31,779
And in time, we'll meet again.
716
00:45:31,803 --> 00:45:33,843
Subtitles by
accessibility@itv.com
52197
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.