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["Fake Palindromes"
by Andrew Bird playing]
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00:00:34,817 --> 00:00:38,429
♪ My dewy-eyed Disney bride,
what has tried♪
3
00:00:39,951 --> 00:00:43,390
♪ Swapping your blood
with formaldehyde?♪
4
00:00:45,131 --> 00:00:46,610
♪ Monsters?♪
5
00:00:48,439 --> 00:00:52,051
♪ Whiskey-plied voices
cried fratricide♪
6
00:00:53,444 --> 00:00:55,664
♪ Jesus, don't you know
that you could've died?♪
7
00:00:55,707 --> 00:00:57,665
♪ You should've died♪
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00:00:57,709 --> 00:01:00,146
♪ With the monsters that talk♪
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00:01:00,189 --> 00:01:02,409
♪ Monsters that walk the earth♪
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00:01:04,977 --> 00:01:09,807
♪ And she's got red lipstick
and a bright pair of shoes♪
11
00:01:11,158 --> 00:01:15,771
♪ And she's got knee-high socks,
what to cover a bruise♪
12
00:01:17,468 --> 00:01:20,688
♪ She's got an old death kit
she's been meaning to use♪
13
00:01:20,731 --> 00:01:24,213
♪ She's got blood in her eyes,
in her eyes for you♪
14
00:01:24,257 --> 00:01:26,260
♪ She's got blood♪
15
00:01:26,302 --> 00:01:28,739
♪ In her eyes for you♪
16
00:01:38,228 --> 00:01:40,534
♪ Certain fads♪
17
00:01:40,578 --> 00:01:42,972
♪ Stripes and plaids♪
18
00:01:43,015 --> 00:01:44,887
♪ Singles ads♪
19
00:01:44,930 --> 00:01:47,236
♪ They run you hot and cold
like a rheostat♪
20
00:01:47,281 --> 00:01:49,587
♪ I mean a thermostat♪
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00:01:49,631 --> 00:01:51,807
♪ So you bite on a towel♪
22
00:01:51,849 --> 00:01:53,765
♪ Hope it won't hurt too bad♪
23
00:01:56,638 --> 00:01:59,814
♪ My dewy-eyed Disney bride,
what has tried♪
24
00:02:01,730 --> 00:02:05,254
♪ Swapping your blood
with formaldehyde?♪
25
00:02:06,430 --> 00:02:12,044
♪ And she says, "I like
long walks and sci-fi movies♪
26
00:02:13,219 --> 00:02:18,007
♪ "You're six foot tall
and East Coast bred♪
27
00:02:19,486 --> 00:02:23,403
♪ "Some lonely night
we can get together♪
28
00:02:23,447 --> 00:02:26,623
♪ "And I'm gonna tie
your wrists with leather♪
29
00:02:26,668 --> 00:02:30,846
♪ "And drill a tiny hole
into your head♪
30
00:02:32,804 --> 00:02:38,680
♪ I'm gonna drill a tiny hole
into your..."♪
31
00:02:38,723 --> 00:02:41,073
♪
32
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[drill whirring]
33
00:02:43,945 --> 00:02:45,990
[song ends]
34
00:02:53,128 --> 00:02:55,086
So, what is this about?
35
00:02:55,131 --> 00:02:57,307
-No idea.
-[Ben sighs]
36
00:02:57,350 --> 00:02:59,134
BEN:
But it's not an exorcism?
37
00:02:59,179 --> 00:03:00,745
His Eminence said she'll be
38
00:03:00,788 --> 00:03:02,399
the scariest woman
that we've ever met.
39
00:03:02,443 --> 00:03:05,314
-Seriously?
-I don't know. He chuckled.
40
00:03:05,359 --> 00:03:07,622
BEN:
So, uh, how many days
41
00:03:07,664 --> 00:03:09,580
before you're cooked?
42
00:03:09,623 --> 00:03:11,538
18 days.
43
00:03:11,581 --> 00:03:13,454
And we can't convince you
to give it up?
44
00:03:14,455 --> 00:03:17,848
You will never get laid again.
45
00:03:17,893 --> 00:03:20,111
That's not what I hear.
Priests do pretty well.
46
00:03:21,853 --> 00:03:24,725
I'm sorry.
That's a weird thing to say.
47
00:03:25,813 --> 00:03:27,381
Thank you for coming in early.
48
00:03:27,424 --> 00:03:32,211
This is Ms. Anita Iota.
49
00:03:32,254 --> 00:03:35,084
And these are our assessors,
David, Kristen...
50
00:03:37,086 --> 00:03:38,652
-Ben.
-MARX: Ben.
51
00:03:38,695 --> 00:03:40,480
ANITA:
Hello.
52
00:03:40,524 --> 00:03:42,873
So, uh, Ms. Iota,
how can we help you?
53
00:03:42,918 --> 00:03:44,397
We need your advice.
54
00:03:44,441 --> 00:03:45,615
We? Who's we?
55
00:03:45,659 --> 00:03:46,921
The IRS.
56
00:03:46,965 --> 00:03:49,010
[thunder crashes]
57
00:03:50,752 --> 00:03:52,796
♪
58
00:04:05,461 --> 00:04:07,420
Is the Church being audited?
59
00:04:07,463 --> 00:04:08,812
Why? Should it be?
60
00:04:09,727 --> 00:04:11,294
An IRS joke.
61
00:04:11,337 --> 00:04:13,252
I'm sure the Catholic Church
is using every penny
62
00:04:13,295 --> 00:04:16,038
of its substantial funds
for altruistic purposes.
63
00:04:16,081 --> 00:04:17,560
Yeah, except for the lawsuits.
64
00:04:17,605 --> 00:04:19,562
Ms. Iota has requested
the Church form
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00:04:19,606 --> 00:04:22,262
a new opinion on an organization
66
00:04:22,305 --> 00:04:24,567
applying for federal recognition
as a religion.
67
00:04:24,612 --> 00:04:26,309
For tax-exempt purposes?
68
00:04:26,353 --> 00:04:28,005
-Yes.
-ANITA: As part of our process,
69
00:04:28,050 --> 00:04:29,442
we consider the opinions
of neighboring
70
00:04:29,485 --> 00:04:30,966
federally recognized religions.
71
00:04:31,009 --> 00:04:32,358
What new religion?
72
00:04:32,401 --> 00:04:34,143
The New Ministry of Satan.
73
00:04:37,101 --> 00:04:40,062
The New Ministry?
There's an old one?
74
00:04:40,105 --> 00:04:43,238
-Several.
-And what does the IRS
base its decision on?
75
00:04:43,283 --> 00:04:45,153
Four criteria.
76
00:04:46,807 --> 00:04:50,115
One: The organization
must be operated exclusively
77
00:04:50,158 --> 00:04:52,944
for worshipping a deity
or deities.
78
00:04:52,987 --> 00:04:54,990
The nature of that deity
is not in question.
79
00:04:55,033 --> 00:04:58,471
It is that the organization
actually believes in it.
80
00:04:58,514 --> 00:05:01,083
Two: The net earnings
may not inure
81
00:05:01,125 --> 00:05:03,432
to the benefit of one person.
82
00:05:03,476 --> 00:05:07,350
Three: The organization's
purposes may not be illegal.
83
00:05:07,394 --> 00:05:08,872
[cell phone buttons clicking]
84
00:05:08,916 --> 00:05:10,353
Are you texting?
85
00:05:10,396 --> 00:05:13,182
No, it's just
how she take notes.
86
00:05:13,225 --> 00:05:14,791
ANITA:
Finally, four:
87
00:05:14,836 --> 00:05:16,576
No substantial part
of the church's activity
88
00:05:16,620 --> 00:05:19,797
should be about influencing
legislation or politics.
89
00:05:19,841 --> 00:05:21,755
-Really?
-MARX: Well, I would admit
90
00:05:21,798 --> 00:05:24,497
that criteria is more honored
in the breach.
91
00:05:24,540 --> 00:05:26,629
So that's all you have to do
to become a religion?
92
00:05:26,673 --> 00:05:28,327
ANITA:
And some combination of a creed,
93
00:05:28,370 --> 00:05:31,374
history, literature
and place of worship.
94
00:05:33,420 --> 00:05:35,899
So you want us to stop it
from being tax-exempt?
95
00:05:35,944 --> 00:05:37,641
We don't determine that.
96
00:05:37,685 --> 00:05:41,036
But it would be helpful
if you could guide the IRS
97
00:05:41,079 --> 00:05:43,821
to see that it doesn't deserve
tax-exempt status.
98
00:05:43,865 --> 00:05:46,432
What if they actually
believe in Satan?
99
00:05:46,475 --> 00:05:49,523
MARX:
Belief is the greatest hurdle
to tax-exempt status,
100
00:05:49,566 --> 00:05:51,394
but it's not the only hurdle.
101
00:05:51,437 --> 00:05:53,613
Is this church
involved in politics,
102
00:05:53,656 --> 00:05:56,399
or can it be implied that it is?
103
00:05:56,442 --> 00:05:58,401
You mean unlike
the Catholic Church?
104
00:05:58,444 --> 00:06:02,187
MARX:
The key is to not look biased
against their beliefs.
105
00:06:02,230 --> 00:06:06,843
We have to use the language
of the IRS to stop this church.
106
00:06:06,887 --> 00:06:09,411
So, uh, where is this church?
107
00:06:10,413 --> 00:06:12,372
[train rattling]
108
00:06:12,415 --> 00:06:14,374
[siren whooping in distance]
109
00:06:14,416 --> 00:06:16,723
[horns honking]
110
00:06:18,334 --> 00:06:20,423
That doesn't look like
the Ministry of Satan.
111
00:06:20,466 --> 00:06:23,382
Yeah, I'd call that hiding
your light under a bushel.
112
00:06:23,425 --> 00:06:25,559
[buzzing]
113
00:06:25,601 --> 00:06:27,343
-What? Is that blasphemous?
-Why don't you let me
do the talking?
114
00:06:27,387 --> 00:06:29,084
You afraid
they're gonna convert us?
115
00:06:29,127 --> 00:06:30,824
-[window slides open]
-MAN: What do you need?
116
00:06:34,218 --> 00:06:36,874
Uh, we're here at the request
of the Internal Revenue Service.
117
00:06:36,918 --> 00:06:39,485
[chuckling]:
Oh, right. Uh, be right down.
118
00:06:40,487 --> 00:06:42,619
Hi. Graham Lucian,
chief of operations.
119
00:06:42,663 --> 00:06:44,141
You the Catholic team?
120
00:06:44,185 --> 00:06:47,101
Yes, uh, David, Kristen and Ben.
121
00:06:47,144 --> 00:06:49,670
Step into my office, please.
Good to meet you guys.
122
00:06:49,713 --> 00:06:52,976
We've already had the, uh,
Presbyterians and the Mormons.
123
00:06:53,021 --> 00:06:54,456
Good guys.
124
00:06:54,500 --> 00:06:56,110
They said they'd pray for us.
125
00:06:56,153 --> 00:06:57,939
I said I'd pray for them, too.
126
00:06:57,981 --> 00:07:00,071
-I think that freaked them out.
-You pray a lot?
127
00:07:00,115 --> 00:07:02,290
Three times a day:
morning, noon and night.
128
00:07:02,334 --> 00:07:04,685
-Are they answered?
-Oh, yeah. Yeah.
129
00:07:04,728 --> 00:07:06,425
Our Father Below
controls the world,
130
00:07:06,468 --> 00:07:08,427
so I get exactly what I want.
131
00:07:08,471 --> 00:07:10,603
-Yeah, like what?
-Oh... [sighs]
132
00:07:10,646 --> 00:07:12,954
My enemies harmed, uh,
133
00:07:12,997 --> 00:07:16,740
no gray hair, no acne,
parking spaces.
134
00:07:16,783 --> 00:07:19,699
-Are your prayers answered?
-I don't pray.
135
00:07:19,742 --> 00:07:21,963
Really?
Must be the New Catholicism.
136
00:07:22,005 --> 00:07:23,920
Do you believe in Satan?
137
00:07:23,964 --> 00:07:26,923
[chuckling]:
Wow, you guys really
jump into it, huh?
138
00:07:26,968 --> 00:07:30,362
Uh, yeah,
but I wouldn't call it belief.
139
00:07:30,406 --> 00:07:31,973
I know Satan.
140
00:07:32,016 --> 00:07:34,278
Hmm. How do you know him?
141
00:07:34,322 --> 00:07:37,108
[sighs]
Do you guys want a drink?
142
00:07:37,151 --> 00:07:39,459
No, we're good.
How do you know Satan?
143
00:07:39,502 --> 00:07:41,504
The same way you know Jesus.
144
00:07:41,548 --> 00:07:44,245
He just makes sense to you,
describes the world to you.
145
00:07:44,288 --> 00:07:46,290
Satan does the same for me.
146
00:07:46,334 --> 00:07:48,250
Except not you.
147
00:07:50,557 --> 00:07:52,384
Is this your formal
place of worship?
148
00:07:52,427 --> 00:07:54,995
No, no. God, this is
the front office.
149
00:07:55,038 --> 00:07:56,911
We've only been
up and running six months.
150
00:07:56,954 --> 00:07:59,348
Temple's in the back.
Come on.
151
00:08:05,745 --> 00:08:07,922
So, what are you doing?
152
00:08:07,964 --> 00:08:09,923
-Uh, filling orders.
-Yeah?
153
00:08:09,966 --> 00:08:11,315
-Mm-hmm.
-You mind if I see?
154
00:08:11,360 --> 00:08:12,317
Uh, sure.
155
00:08:12,360 --> 00:08:13,536
How much are these?
156
00:08:13,579 --> 00:08:15,711
INTERN:
Those are all 35.
157
00:08:15,755 --> 00:08:16,930
-Are they popular?
-Oh, yeah.
158
00:08:16,973 --> 00:08:17,975
More so at Christmas.
159
00:08:18,019 --> 00:08:19,934
Mm. So this is a big moneymaker?
160
00:08:21,238 --> 00:08:22,675
INTERN:
Our cost is about six bucks.
161
00:08:22,718 --> 00:08:24,154
So... you tell me.
162
00:08:27,550 --> 00:08:28,942
Which one is the favorite?
163
00:08:28,985 --> 00:08:30,552
Mm...
164
00:08:30,596 --> 00:08:32,163
This one.
165
00:08:37,908 --> 00:08:40,519
We're most proud
of our statue of Baphomet.
166
00:08:40,562 --> 00:08:42,477
So this is your established
place of worship?
167
00:08:42,522 --> 00:08:45,046
Yes.
One of the IRS requirements.
168
00:08:45,088 --> 00:08:47,048
You seem very aware
of what we need.
169
00:08:47,091 --> 00:08:49,485
GRAHAM:
Well, I've been reading
the IRS literature.
170
00:08:49,528 --> 00:08:51,879
Have to clear
that tax-exempt bar.
171
00:08:51,922 --> 00:08:53,793
-Do you have regular service?
-We do.
172
00:08:53,836 --> 00:08:55,143
When?
173
00:08:56,578 --> 00:08:58,320
Friday, 8:00 p.m. Join us.
174
00:08:58,363 --> 00:08:59,974
A distinct membership?
175
00:09:00,017 --> 00:09:02,410
Oh, we doubled our membership
in, uh, two months.
176
00:09:02,453 --> 00:09:04,543
Yeah, from what to what?
177
00:09:04,586 --> 00:09:07,110
-I'd have to check
those numbers.
-Guess.
178
00:09:08,111 --> 00:09:09,809
Started with eight,
and now we have 12.
179
00:09:09,852 --> 00:09:11,725
Not much of a congregation.
180
00:09:11,768 --> 00:09:13,813
It's as many as Christ had.
181
00:09:13,856 --> 00:09:15,990
And here is
some of our literature.
182
00:09:16,033 --> 00:09:17,991
KRISTEN:
What's your creed?
183
00:09:18,034 --> 00:09:20,602
Do what you want
unless it hurts someone.
184
00:09:20,647 --> 00:09:24,389
If someone presents themselves
as your adversary, destroy them.
185
00:09:24,432 --> 00:09:26,696
And look for rewards now,
not after.
186
00:09:26,740 --> 00:09:29,873
-Satan, all glory.
-"Destroy them"? How?
187
00:09:29,917 --> 00:09:32,572
Not in any way that would break
the laws of the United States.
188
00:09:34,008 --> 00:09:36,009
Tell me how you pray to Satan.
189
00:09:36,052 --> 00:09:37,706
[sighs]
190
00:09:37,750 --> 00:09:40,274
Oh, Father Below,
lend me your power
191
00:09:40,317 --> 00:09:44,105
to do what I want
to who I want, and, uh...
192
00:09:44,148 --> 00:09:46,933
take away all my regrets,
burning them in your hellfire,
193
00:09:46,976 --> 00:09:49,066
and... et cetera, et cetera.
194
00:09:50,197 --> 00:09:51,721
Not much of a prayer.
195
00:09:51,764 --> 00:09:53,635
Well, I'm working on it.
196
00:09:53,679 --> 00:09:55,376
This is a scam, isn't it?
197
00:09:55,419 --> 00:09:57,596
Oh, ye of little faith.
198
00:09:57,639 --> 00:09:59,729
No more a scam than your Church.
199
00:09:59,773 --> 00:10:01,861
BEN:
Let me ask you a question.
200
00:10:01,904 --> 00:10:04,125
If this church doesn't really
believe in Satan
201
00:10:04,168 --> 00:10:06,126
and all they're doing
is just selling T-shirts,
202
00:10:06,169 --> 00:10:08,302
then aren't they just harmless?
203
00:10:08,346 --> 00:10:09,956
Yeah, possibly.
204
00:10:10,000 --> 00:10:12,611
Let's collect our data
and brief His Eminence.
205
00:10:14,395 --> 00:10:17,051
The exorcism will be spread
over three nights,
206
00:10:17,094 --> 00:10:19,052
six hours every night.
207
00:10:19,096 --> 00:10:22,143
You'll want to quit,
but quitting is not an option.
208
00:10:22,186 --> 00:10:23,840
I won't quit, Father.
209
00:10:23,884 --> 00:10:26,102
I never do.
210
00:10:26,147 --> 00:10:28,235
THUNDERLAND:
This is the final rite
of exorcism.
211
00:10:28,278 --> 00:10:30,106
It is intense,
and it's grueling.
212
00:10:30,150 --> 00:10:32,806
-But in the end, I'll be clean?
-Or dead.
213
00:10:32,849 --> 00:10:34,110
Whoa.
214
00:10:34,154 --> 00:10:36,070
That's a bit melodramatic.
215
00:10:36,113 --> 00:10:38,462
THUNDERLAND:
I will be performing the rite.
216
00:10:38,506 --> 00:10:40,465
We'll start tonight.
217
00:10:42,163 --> 00:10:45,774
But I need you to sign
this consent form.
218
00:10:47,341 --> 00:10:49,692
It acknowledges
the possible dangers.
219
00:10:50,736 --> 00:10:52,346
Can I have a minute to read this
220
00:10:52,389 --> 00:10:54,697
and consult with
my spiritual counselor?
221
00:10:54,740 --> 00:10:57,394
I need your answer
by the time I leave,
222
00:10:57,438 --> 00:10:59,571
or I'm moving on
to the next exorcism.
223
00:11:01,878 --> 00:11:04,446
-[door closes]
-Ouch.
224
00:11:04,489 --> 00:11:06,621
Not a lot
of Christian love there.
225
00:11:06,666 --> 00:11:08,580
Oh, he sees through you.
226
00:11:13,585 --> 00:11:16,153
-What is that?
-Hmm?
227
00:11:16,197 --> 00:11:17,677
Oh.
228
00:11:21,462 --> 00:11:22,812
LELAND:
Where is this place?
229
00:11:22,855 --> 00:11:24,726
DAVID:
The address is on the back.
230
00:11:25,902 --> 00:11:27,730
They're looking for new members.
231
00:11:27,774 --> 00:11:29,078
This is blasphemy.
232
00:11:29,123 --> 00:11:30,384
What are you smiling about?
233
00:11:30,427 --> 00:11:32,648
These idiots don't
believe in Satan.
234
00:11:32,692 --> 00:11:34,562
They're just co-opting the Devil
to get press
235
00:11:34,605 --> 00:11:36,216
and piss off religious people.
236
00:11:36,259 --> 00:11:37,566
And tax-exempt status.
237
00:11:37,609 --> 00:11:39,046
Sons of bitches.
238
00:11:39,088 --> 00:11:41,004
These people should be
strung up by their toes,
239
00:11:41,048 --> 00:11:43,745
their throats slit and the blood
poured on an altar.
240
00:11:43,789 --> 00:11:45,442
How do you know
they don't believe?
241
00:11:45,486 --> 00:11:47,183
Look at this.
"We're not a time-share."
242
00:11:47,227 --> 00:11:48,576
Look at these pictures.
243
00:11:48,620 --> 00:11:50,621
Kids, picnics.
244
00:11:50,665 --> 00:11:52,014
"Satan cares about your future."
245
00:11:52,058 --> 00:11:53,408
What, are they insane?
246
00:11:53,451 --> 00:11:55,192
What is belief in Satan about?
247
00:11:55,235 --> 00:11:56,846
Power.
248
00:11:56,889 --> 00:11:58,326
Rejection of authority.
249
00:11:58,369 --> 00:12:00,283
Manipulation. Violence.
250
00:12:00,327 --> 00:12:01,937
Disgust with people like you.
251
00:12:01,981 --> 00:12:03,461
This guy, this dick--
252
00:12:03,504 --> 00:12:05,899
Graham-- he doesn't care
about any of that.
253
00:12:05,942 --> 00:12:07,378
He's just using it.
254
00:12:11,600 --> 00:12:13,384
Here, go ahead.
255
00:12:13,427 --> 00:12:15,385
Tell that priest I'm ready.
256
00:12:17,258 --> 00:12:19,826
When you tell me
that you're fine
257
00:12:19,869 --> 00:12:22,088
and I know that you're not,
258
00:12:22,131 --> 00:12:25,831
it makes me feel confused
about our relationship.
259
00:12:25,875 --> 00:12:28,051
-Yeah, but that's
because I am fine.
-KURT: Kristen.
260
00:12:28,095 --> 00:12:29,356
Mirroring.
261
00:12:31,489 --> 00:12:34,754
When I say I'm fine even though
you know I'm not fine,
262
00:12:34,797 --> 00:12:36,668
it makes you confused
in our relationship.
263
00:12:36,711 --> 00:12:38,365
-Is that what you're saying?
-Yes.
264
00:12:38,408 --> 00:12:41,282
And would you like to add
anything to that?
265
00:12:41,325 --> 00:12:43,153
[sighs] No.
266
00:12:43,197 --> 00:12:44,459
Good.
267
00:12:44,501 --> 00:12:45,938
Kristen, your turn.
268
00:12:45,981 --> 00:12:47,591
When you keep asking me,
"Are you fine?"
269
00:12:47,635 --> 00:12:49,028
even though I am fine,
270
00:12:49,072 --> 00:12:50,899
it makes me think
that you feel guilty
271
00:12:50,943 --> 00:12:53,163
about leaving your family
for six months out of the year.
272
00:12:53,206 --> 00:12:54,774
-Kristen.
-What?
273
00:12:54,817 --> 00:12:56,297
He can speak his truth,
I can't speak mine?
274
00:12:56,340 --> 00:12:57,732
As long as it's not
score settling.
275
00:12:57,777 --> 00:12:59,604
Oh, my gosh.
Can we just talk, Andy?
276
00:12:59,648 --> 00:13:01,736
-Yeah, we haven't been talking.
-Well, then talk to me now.
277
00:13:01,780 --> 00:13:03,346
-What is the problem?
-KURT: You know,
278
00:13:03,390 --> 00:13:04,609
I think it's best to stick
with the mirror exercise.
279
00:13:04,653 --> 00:13:06,480
Are you sleeping with someone?
280
00:13:07,524 --> 00:13:09,397
Well, good.
281
00:13:09,440 --> 00:13:10,745
The truth exercise.
282
00:13:10,789 --> 00:13:12,792
Kurt, shh.
283
00:13:15,490 --> 00:13:17,317
No, I'm not sleeping
with anyone.
284
00:13:17,360 --> 00:13:18,798
Not Ben?
285
00:13:19,798 --> 00:13:21,061
[scoffs]:
What? No.
286
00:13:21,104 --> 00:13:22,365
Of course not.
287
00:13:23,541 --> 00:13:25,195
Not David?
288
00:13:26,196 --> 00:13:27,980
No.
289
00:13:28,024 --> 00:13:30,200
He's becoming a priest. Uh...
290
00:13:30,244 --> 00:13:31,898
I would never.
291
00:13:33,725 --> 00:13:35,596
Are you sleeping with anyone?
292
00:13:35,639 --> 00:13:38,860
Kristen, look at me and tell me
293
00:13:38,904 --> 00:13:41,384
that you're not sleeping
with David.
294
00:13:53,222 --> 00:13:56,573
Andy, I-I shouldn't have
to tell you anything.
295
00:13:56,618 --> 00:13:58,837
You should trust me
as I trust you.
296
00:14:00,013 --> 00:14:03,102
KURT:
Okay. Good session.
297
00:14:05,278 --> 00:14:09,413
Andy, would you excuse, um, us
for-for just a minute?
298
00:14:11,850 --> 00:14:13,895
I thought that went well.
299
00:14:13,940 --> 00:14:15,462
Kurt, I'm hallucinating again.
300
00:14:15,505 --> 00:14:17,333
Are you still taking
the risperidone?
301
00:14:17,378 --> 00:14:18,988
Yeah, two a night.
302
00:14:19,032 --> 00:14:20,336
-And there's no progress?
-No.
303
00:14:20,380 --> 00:14:21,556
If-if anything, it's-it's worse.
304
00:14:21,599 --> 00:14:23,600
Well...
305
00:14:24,864 --> 00:14:27,126
I think I should prescribe
something else.
306
00:14:29,956 --> 00:14:32,174
-THUNDERLAND: Lord have mercy.
Christ have mercy.
-[groaning]
307
00:14:32,219 --> 00:14:34,350
God, the Father in heaven...
308
00:14:34,394 --> 00:14:36,831
God, the Son,
Redeemer of the world...
309
00:14:36,875 --> 00:14:38,878
Stop. I'm on fire.
310
00:14:38,921 --> 00:14:40,488
[panting]:
I need some water.
311
00:14:40,530 --> 00:14:42,184
My body is on fire.
312
00:14:42,229 --> 00:14:45,448
Holy Mary, pray for us.
Holy Mother of God, Holy Virgin.
313
00:14:45,493 --> 00:14:47,668
[grunts]
314
00:14:47,711 --> 00:14:50,540
[deep, demonic voice]:
Do you really believe
that Mary was a virgin?
315
00:14:50,585 --> 00:14:51,933
[chuckles] That whore.
316
00:14:51,977 --> 00:14:53,543
THUNDERLAND:
All holy saints of God...
317
00:14:53,587 --> 00:14:55,633
[high-pitched voice]:
Stop it. Stop it, please.
318
00:14:55,677 --> 00:14:56,807
You're hurting me.
319
00:14:56,851 --> 00:14:59,768
Holy Lord, Almighty Father...
320
00:14:59,811 --> 00:15:01,725
[old woman's voice]:
She said stop.
321
00:15:01,769 --> 00:15:05,294
You do not know
the power you provoke.
322
00:15:05,339 --> 00:15:07,557
THUNDERLAND:
Apostate tyrant
to the flames of hell.
323
00:15:07,601 --> 00:15:09,778
-[growling]
-All holy saints of God...
324
00:15:09,821 --> 00:15:11,953
[grunts, groans]
325
00:15:16,524 --> 00:15:18,700
[growling continues]
326
00:15:31,191 --> 00:15:33,105
Are you all right, David?
327
00:15:34,759 --> 00:15:36,456
No.
328
00:15:36,500 --> 00:15:40,155
He couldn't fake that, could he?
329
00:15:40,200 --> 00:15:42,505
Fake that?
330
00:15:42,549 --> 00:15:43,985
No.
331
00:15:45,030 --> 00:15:46,727
He's sleeping now.
332
00:15:46,770 --> 00:15:48,643
We'll return tomorrow.
333
00:15:54,605 --> 00:15:56,650
[breath trembling]
334
00:16:06,052 --> 00:16:07,966
♪
335
00:16:23,764 --> 00:16:25,985
Hey.
336
00:16:26,028 --> 00:16:28,291
-Waiting on Ben?
-Uh-huh.
337
00:16:28,335 --> 00:16:31,816
Um, real quick, Kristen.
338
00:16:31,860 --> 00:16:34,036
I'm gonna need
your help tonight.
339
00:16:34,080 --> 00:16:35,995
Okay. With what?
340
00:16:36,038 --> 00:16:37,908
Leland's exorcism.
341
00:16:38,909 --> 00:16:40,259
Are you kidding?
342
00:16:40,302 --> 00:16:41,870
-Why?
-Something changed.
343
00:16:41,913 --> 00:16:44,264
I don't know what. It...
344
00:16:44,307 --> 00:16:46,831
You were talking about
this adrenaline jolt
345
00:16:46,875 --> 00:16:48,658
with Raymond Strand.
346
00:16:48,702 --> 00:16:50,312
-Hysterical strength.
-Right.
347
00:16:50,356 --> 00:16:52,880
I think there's something
like that here.
348
00:16:52,923 --> 00:16:57,668
He launched a priest
against a wall.
349
00:16:57,711 --> 00:16:59,495
He launched...?
350
00:16:59,539 --> 00:17:00,975
He kicked a priest,
351
00:17:01,019 --> 00:17:03,370
who flew eight feet
across the room.
352
00:17:04,371 --> 00:17:05,980
And there were, uh,
353
00:17:06,025 --> 00:17:09,593
these voices coming out of him.
354
00:17:11,987 --> 00:17:14,729
Do you think Leland's starting
to take his exorcism seriously?
355
00:17:14,771 --> 00:17:16,122
No, I...
356
00:17:16,164 --> 00:17:19,080
I think God is.
357
00:17:21,778 --> 00:17:24,868
Monthly real estate rental:
$23,000 a month.
358
00:17:24,913 --> 00:17:28,047
Three full-time employees:
$9,000 a month total.
359
00:17:28,089 --> 00:17:30,048
Not much money in Satanism.
360
00:17:30,092 --> 00:17:32,615
Not yet, but their,
uh, T-shirt sales
361
00:17:32,660 --> 00:17:34,965
are up 20% each month.
362
00:17:35,009 --> 00:17:38,186
And their Christmas sales
should be up 80% over last year.
363
00:17:38,230 --> 00:17:40,406
So you think the best way
of stopping them
364
00:17:40,450 --> 00:17:43,539
is criteria number two,
they're making money?
365
00:17:43,584 --> 00:17:45,019
Yeah.
366
00:17:45,064 --> 00:17:46,586
I mean, this operating officer
367
00:17:46,630 --> 00:17:48,588
has tripled his business
over the last year.
368
00:17:48,632 --> 00:17:50,199
I agree.
369
00:17:50,242 --> 00:17:52,941
I have something
I want you to hear.
370
00:17:52,983 --> 00:17:54,986
This came in this morning.
371
00:17:55,029 --> 00:17:56,944
MAN [recorded]:
I saw a beast come
out of the sea
372
00:17:56,988 --> 00:17:59,425
with ten horns and seven heads.
373
00:17:59,469 --> 00:18:01,036
[unearthly yowling]
374
00:18:01,079 --> 00:18:02,993
It was granted authority
over every tribe,
375
00:18:03,038 --> 00:18:05,648
people, tongue, nation.
376
00:18:05,692 --> 00:18:09,131
And all that were on earth
worshipped the Beast.
377
00:18:09,174 --> 00:18:11,741
I am Bishop Jim
from the New Ministry,
378
00:18:11,786 --> 00:18:15,136
and this is your holy scripture
and doctrine.
379
00:18:15,181 --> 00:18:17,530
It is ours as well.
Praise Satan.
380
00:18:18,705 --> 00:18:21,186
This sounds like
someone who believes.
381
00:18:21,230 --> 00:18:24,711
Find out if this Bishop Jim
is faking it or not.
382
00:18:26,321 --> 00:18:28,367
[siren wailing in distance]
383
00:18:34,025 --> 00:18:36,244
We're here to see Bishop Jim.
384
00:18:40,030 --> 00:18:41,945
Hey, thanks for coming.
385
00:18:41,990 --> 00:18:43,861
Jim wanted to meet you.
386
00:18:43,904 --> 00:18:45,253
[indistinct chanting
in other room]
387
00:18:45,298 --> 00:18:46,559
Are you having services
here tonight?
388
00:18:46,603 --> 00:18:49,214
Yeah, back there.
389
00:18:49,258 --> 00:18:50,606
That's Iris.
390
00:18:50,651 --> 00:18:52,521
-Nice lady.
-Seems it.
391
00:18:53,871 --> 00:18:56,482
Hey, the Catholic Church
could do a hell of a lot better
392
00:18:56,526 --> 00:18:58,833
with altar girls like her.
393
00:18:58,875 --> 00:19:00,790
Note taken.
394
00:19:02,009 --> 00:19:04,490
CHANTING VOICE [over speaker]:
You grant us indulgence
395
00:19:04,534 --> 00:19:07,102
in our carnal desires...
396
00:19:07,145 --> 00:19:09,017
Wow. Good production values.
397
00:19:10,018 --> 00:19:12,454
Jim is the Sister Aimee
of Satanism.
398
00:19:14,413 --> 00:19:16,154
Hail Satan.
399
00:19:16,198 --> 00:19:18,156
CHANTING VOICE:
Giver of the fruit of free will
400
00:19:18,200 --> 00:19:22,769
that delivered us from
blind ignorance and allegiance.
401
00:19:22,813 --> 00:19:24,423
-JIM: Hail Satan.
-WORSHIPPERS: Hail Satan.
402
00:19:24,467 --> 00:19:25,859
CHANTING VOICE:
You grant us indulgence
403
00:19:25,903 --> 00:19:28,036
in our carnal desires.
404
00:19:28,078 --> 00:19:29,906
WORSHIPPERS:
Hail Satan.
405
00:19:29,951 --> 00:19:31,996
Jim. You got a minute?
406
00:19:32,039 --> 00:19:33,998
Ah.
407
00:19:34,041 --> 00:19:36,000
These are
the Catholic assessors.
408
00:19:36,044 --> 00:19:37,219
Yes.
409
00:19:37,262 --> 00:19:38,960
Hello, David, Kristen, Ben.
410
00:19:39,002 --> 00:19:40,656
We didn't want to, uh,
interrupt your services.
411
00:19:40,701 --> 00:19:42,268
Oh. No, no.
412
00:19:42,310 --> 00:19:44,269
This is just a dress rehearsal.
413
00:19:44,313 --> 00:19:46,619
Ooh. Can I see?
414
00:19:48,448 --> 00:19:50,144
Sure.
415
00:19:51,711 --> 00:19:53,496
Oh, Saint Christopher.
416
00:19:53,539 --> 00:19:54,976
Hmm? Why him?
417
00:19:55,019 --> 00:19:57,239
-Why do you think?
-Large man.
418
00:19:57,282 --> 00:19:59,022
Wanted to serve
the greatest king,
419
00:19:59,067 --> 00:20:01,025
so he served my Father Below.
420
00:20:01,068 --> 00:20:03,157
Until he realized
Satan feared God,
421
00:20:03,201 --> 00:20:05,421
so he wasn't the greatest.
422
00:20:05,464 --> 00:20:07,641
JIM [laughs]:
How things have changed.
423
00:20:07,683 --> 00:20:10,251
If Christopher were alive today,
who would he serve?
424
00:20:10,296 --> 00:20:11,949
-You tell me.
-How did we kill him again?
425
00:20:11,992 --> 00:20:13,516
Burning metal rods
up his ass, right?
426
00:20:13,559 --> 00:20:15,257
He resisted.
427
00:20:15,300 --> 00:20:18,652
All he had to do was
condemn God, but he resisted.
428
00:20:18,694 --> 00:20:20,131
That's power.
429
00:20:20,174 --> 00:20:22,046
Really?
Who would you rather be?
430
00:20:22,089 --> 00:20:24,961
The man having burning rods
stuck up his ass
431
00:20:25,006 --> 00:20:26,963
or the man putting them there?
432
00:20:27,008 --> 00:20:29,315
-DAVID: Do you, uh,
pray to Satan?
-JIM: All the time.
433
00:20:29,357 --> 00:20:31,925
Ask me about our creed.
434
00:20:31,969 --> 00:20:34,624
I know the IRS cares
about our creed.
435
00:20:37,713 --> 00:20:40,020
You find these religious debates
boring, too?
436
00:20:40,064 --> 00:20:42,153
Jim could go on
for hours and hours.
437
00:20:42,197 --> 00:20:44,242
What do you want out of this?
438
00:20:45,721 --> 00:20:47,681
Is this some kind of IRS trap?
439
00:20:47,723 --> 00:20:49,377
Of course.
440
00:20:49,422 --> 00:20:53,295
Look, I believe
in the real Satan.
441
00:20:53,338 --> 00:20:57,343
Right? Not some cute little
horned papier-mâché doll.
442
00:20:57,385 --> 00:20:59,823
I believe in force,
a tide of power.
443
00:20:59,866 --> 00:21:02,260
-Satan as metaphor?
-No, it's real.
444
00:21:02,304 --> 00:21:04,087
When you hate someone
445
00:21:04,132 --> 00:21:06,961
for cutting you off in traffic,
is that real?
446
00:21:07,003 --> 00:21:09,355
If you're married
and you flirt with someone,
447
00:21:09,397 --> 00:21:11,661
they brush up against you
and you feel their erection,
448
00:21:11,704 --> 00:21:13,141
is that real?
449
00:21:13,183 --> 00:21:14,534
You think it's Satan?
450
00:21:14,576 --> 00:21:15,883
It's not God.
451
00:21:15,925 --> 00:21:17,884
God wants us to live castrated.
452
00:21:17,928 --> 00:21:20,278
But I look at you,
and I see your nipples
453
00:21:20,321 --> 00:21:22,105
peeking through your blouse.
454
00:21:22,150 --> 00:21:23,499
That's not God.
455
00:21:23,542 --> 00:21:25,326
No, that's your imagination.
456
00:21:25,371 --> 00:21:26,675
[chuckles]
457
00:21:26,720 --> 00:21:29,592
Look, Satan loves
female sexuality.
458
00:21:29,635 --> 00:21:31,246
He wants women to take charge.
459
00:21:31,289 --> 00:21:35,555
Ah, and yet, all I see
is half-naked women here.
460
00:21:35,597 --> 00:21:38,339
I mean, for a phallic religion,
it's not a lot of phalluses.
461
00:21:39,427 --> 00:21:41,430
Join us,
you could change all of that.
462
00:21:41,473 --> 00:21:43,432
We still need a chair
for the women's auxiliary.
463
00:21:43,476 --> 00:21:44,564
[laughs]
464
00:21:44,606 --> 00:21:46,521
Am I funny?
465
00:21:46,566 --> 00:21:48,132
Yeah, yeah.
466
00:21:48,175 --> 00:21:50,134
Whenever I see
white supremacists marching,
467
00:21:50,177 --> 00:21:52,222
or gamer boys
trolling women online,
468
00:21:52,267 --> 00:21:54,790
or you, I always wonder,
don't you guys have day jobs?
469
00:22:06,150 --> 00:22:07,804
[sighs]
470
00:22:30,609 --> 00:22:33,134
ANDY:
You still going out?
471
00:22:33,176 --> 00:22:35,222
Yeah. Work.
472
00:22:39,227 --> 00:22:40,576
I, uh, thought we'd have
dinner together.
473
00:22:40,619 --> 00:22:41,750
Tomorrow's my last day.
474
00:22:41,795 --> 00:22:43,057
I already promised.
475
00:22:43,099 --> 00:22:44,753
Let's do it tomorrow.
476
00:22:48,845 --> 00:22:51,281
LELAND [groaning]:
God damn you.
477
00:22:51,326 --> 00:22:52,761
THUNDERLAND:
May God arise.
478
00:22:52,806 --> 00:22:54,851
May His enemies be scattered.
479
00:22:54,894 --> 00:22:56,375
Please stop, stop, stop!
480
00:22:56,417 --> 00:22:58,463
-Please, please.
-May His foes flee before Him
481
00:22:58,507 --> 00:23:00,335
-as smoke is blown away...
-Fuck you.
482
00:23:00,378 --> 00:23:01,902
...by the wind.
483
00:23:01,944 --> 00:23:03,598
[with English accent]:
You can't hurt him.
484
00:23:03,643 --> 00:23:05,165
[Leland coughs]
485
00:23:05,209 --> 00:23:07,429
[woman's voice]:
I am not deceived.
486
00:23:07,472 --> 00:23:09,736
[giggles]
We are the deception.
487
00:23:09,778 --> 00:23:13,130
THUNDERLAND:
Sancte Michael Archangele,
defende nos in proelio...
488
00:23:13,173 --> 00:23:14,653
-[high-pitched laughing]
-Holy Lord,
489
00:23:14,696 --> 00:23:16,655
Almighty Father
of our Lord Jesus Christ...
490
00:23:16,699 --> 00:23:18,570
-[groaning]
-Hold on to him!
491
00:23:19,397 --> 00:23:22,269
[Thunderland speaking Latin]
492
00:23:23,618 --> 00:23:25,446
[Leland groaning]
493
00:23:25,490 --> 00:23:27,579
[Thunderland continues in Latin]
494
00:23:33,759 --> 00:23:35,718
THUNDERLAND:
Saint Michael the Archangel,
495
00:23:35,761 --> 00:23:37,198
defend us in battle.
496
00:23:37,240 --> 00:23:38,894
Be our protection
against the wickedness
497
00:23:38,939 --> 00:23:40,506
and snares of the Devil.
498
00:23:40,548 --> 00:23:42,855
Be our protection
against the wickedness
499
00:23:42,898 --> 00:23:44,683
and snares of the Devil!
500
00:23:44,727 --> 00:23:46,816
O Prince of the Heavenly Father,
501
00:23:46,859 --> 00:23:49,297
by the power of God,
cast into Hell
502
00:23:49,339 --> 00:23:52,212
all the evil spirits
who prowl about the world
503
00:23:52,256 --> 00:23:54,171
-seeking the ruin of souls.
-[panting]
504
00:23:54,214 --> 00:23:57,260
-[Thunderland continues
in Latin]
-[pained whimpering]
505
00:23:59,567 --> 00:24:02,005
THUNDERLAND:
O Prince of the Heavenly Host,
506
00:24:02,048 --> 00:24:03,571
by the power of God,
cast into Hell
507
00:24:03,615 --> 00:24:06,749
and all the evil spirits
who prowl about the world
508
00:24:06,792 --> 00:24:09,448
seeking the ruin of souls.
509
00:24:09,490 --> 00:24:10,884
[panting]
510
00:24:10,926 --> 00:24:13,451
[Thunderland continues in Latin,
voice distorted]
511
00:24:16,237 --> 00:24:18,281
[gasping]
512
00:24:19,500 --> 00:24:22,068
No. No.
513
00:24:22,112 --> 00:24:24,462
[whimpering]
514
00:24:25,463 --> 00:24:26,595
[screams]
515
00:24:28,249 --> 00:24:30,207
[screams]
516
00:24:30,250 --> 00:24:32,688
[raspy breathing]
517
00:24:34,080 --> 00:24:35,604
[whispers]:
It's not real.
518
00:24:36,561 --> 00:24:37,911
[raspy squealing]
519
00:24:37,953 --> 00:24:39,520
[Thunderland continues in Latin]
520
00:24:39,565 --> 00:24:40,608
It's not real, it's not real...
521
00:24:40,653 --> 00:24:42,654
...defende nos in proelio,
522
00:24:42,698 --> 00:24:45,832
contra nequitiam et insidias
523
00:24:45,875 --> 00:24:47,963
diaboli esto praesidium...
524
00:24:48,008 --> 00:24:49,965
[panting]
525
00:24:50,009 --> 00:24:52,055
[Thunderland continues in Latin]
526
00:25:06,982 --> 00:25:08,984
[engine starts]
527
00:25:09,028 --> 00:25:10,596
[sexy blues playing]
528
00:25:10,638 --> 00:25:12,205
Tequila.
529
00:25:12,249 --> 00:25:14,686
♪
530
00:25:20,953 --> 00:25:23,130
GRAHAM:
What a coincidence.
531
00:25:23,173 --> 00:25:24,566
Hey.
532
00:25:24,609 --> 00:25:27,351
You know, I was just
thinking about you.
533
00:25:27,394 --> 00:25:29,005
[laughs]
534
00:25:29,048 --> 00:25:30,615
What?
535
00:25:32,355 --> 00:25:34,270
Are you following me?
536
00:25:35,316 --> 00:25:37,578
[sighs]
Something like that.
537
00:25:37,623 --> 00:25:39,493
You trying to convert me?
538
00:25:39,538 --> 00:25:41,234
No.
539
00:25:41,278 --> 00:25:43,366
No, I don't really believe.
540
00:25:43,411 --> 00:25:45,455
And I don't think you do,
either.
541
00:25:45,500 --> 00:25:47,936
♪
542
00:25:57,990 --> 00:26:00,036
[sighs] Let's go.
543
00:26:00,079 --> 00:26:02,125
Where?
544
00:26:21,666 --> 00:26:23,538
Get in.
545
00:26:27,541 --> 00:26:29,239
Lower your pants.
546
00:26:29,282 --> 00:26:30,893
No foreplay?
547
00:26:30,936 --> 00:26:33,329
Lower your pants.
548
00:26:35,723 --> 00:26:37,551
[belt buckle jingling]
549
00:26:42,122 --> 00:26:44,384
-You done this before?
-What do you care?
550
00:26:44,427 --> 00:26:46,647
I'm just making small talk.
551
00:26:48,388 --> 00:26:50,173
No.
552
00:26:50,217 --> 00:26:52,261
So what is this about?
553
00:26:54,176 --> 00:26:56,222
What do you think?
554
00:27:01,707 --> 00:27:03,317
[moans]
555
00:27:03,359 --> 00:27:05,405
[both panting]
556
00:27:05,449 --> 00:27:07,494
[moaning]
557
00:27:13,500 --> 00:27:14,807
Ah.
558
00:27:36,828 --> 00:27:38,874
[train rattling overhead]
559
00:27:48,144 --> 00:27:50,406
[train fades in distance]
560
00:28:10,776 --> 00:28:12,778
[keys jingling]
561
00:28:41,458 --> 00:28:43,765
This is my advice.
562
00:28:43,808 --> 00:28:46,462
Go upstairs quietly,
take a bath,
563
00:28:46,507 --> 00:28:49,075
wash every inch of you,
then drain the water
564
00:28:49,117 --> 00:28:50,641
and take a shower.
565
00:28:50,684 --> 00:28:52,251
Gargle, get a trash bag,
566
00:28:52,295 --> 00:28:55,342
put all of those clothes in it,
and tell nobody.
567
00:28:55,384 --> 00:28:56,996
I don't know what
you think happened, Mom.
568
00:28:57,038 --> 00:28:58,474
I know what happened, honey.
569
00:28:58,519 --> 00:29:00,390
It was the same
when I came home to Dad.
570
00:29:01,478 --> 00:29:03,132
Put some real garbage
571
00:29:03,175 --> 00:29:05,003
in the trash bag
on top of your clothes.
572
00:29:05,047 --> 00:29:06,395
The trash is collected tomorrow.
573
00:29:06,440 --> 00:29:08,834
I'll take it out
before Andy can see.
574
00:29:08,876 --> 00:29:11,227
I just... I had something
on my panties. That's all.
575
00:29:11,270 --> 00:29:13,534
Something sticky?
576
00:29:13,576 --> 00:29:16,666
[cell phone ringing]
577
00:29:16,711 --> 00:29:19,932
Listen, um, if you ever
want to talk, I don't judge.
578
00:29:27,461 --> 00:29:29,244
[ringing continues]
579
00:29:29,288 --> 00:29:31,551
[sighs]
580
00:29:31,595 --> 00:29:33,771
Yeah, what do you need?
581
00:29:33,815 --> 00:29:35,817
-Help.
-[Tchaikovsky's "March"
from The Nutcrackerplaying]
582
00:29:35,861 --> 00:29:37,731
Too tired.
583
00:29:37,776 --> 00:29:40,038
Sheryl, you know
I would only call if...
584
00:29:40,082 --> 00:29:42,127
Leland, you're no fun
when you're needy.
585
00:29:42,171 --> 00:29:44,086
I'm not trying to be fun!
586
00:29:44,130 --> 00:29:46,261
Oh, God.
587
00:29:47,480 --> 00:29:50,005
You know this only works
if it's transactional, right?
588
00:29:51,006 --> 00:29:52,615
What do you want?
589
00:29:53,661 --> 00:29:55,968
Oh, I don't know.
What you got?
590
00:29:58,317 --> 00:30:00,102
Edward.
591
00:30:05,064 --> 00:30:06,673
Okay.
592
00:30:06,717 --> 00:30:08,284
Give me 20 minutes.
593
00:30:08,327 --> 00:30:09,720
Bring root beer.
594
00:30:09,763 --> 00:30:11,505
[jaunty music continues]
595
00:30:11,548 --> 00:30:13,201
[shuddering]
596
00:30:39,532 --> 00:30:41,577
-[squeaks]
-[water running]
597
00:30:46,496 --> 00:30:48,541
[breathing deeply]
598
00:31:07,386 --> 00:31:09,432
♪
599
00:31:22,968 --> 00:31:24,970
[dog barking in distance]
600
00:31:39,201 --> 00:31:40,986
[Andy grunts]
601
00:31:41,028 --> 00:31:42,769
How did it go?
602
00:31:42,813 --> 00:31:44,728
Fine.
603
00:31:44,771 --> 00:31:47,252
Just your everyday exorcism.
604
00:31:48,427 --> 00:31:50,082
[Andy chuckles]
605
00:31:51,212 --> 00:31:53,172
[Andy grunts]
606
00:31:53,214 --> 00:31:55,565
We made cookies. We missed you.
607
00:31:55,608 --> 00:31:57,175
Oh, I missed you, too.
608
00:31:57,219 --> 00:31:58,916
ANDY:
Oh...
609
00:32:00,527 --> 00:32:02,571
Oh, I'm really glad.
610
00:32:15,280 --> 00:32:17,239
Hmm? What's wrong?
611
00:32:17,282 --> 00:32:19,327
Just something in the bathroom.
612
00:32:39,521 --> 00:32:41,133
Kurt, I'm hallucinating.
613
00:32:41,175 --> 00:32:43,569
I-I-I know. We're modifying
your medication.
614
00:32:43,613 --> 00:32:45,006
No, I have to stop right now.
615
00:32:45,049 --> 00:32:46,486
No more olanzapine.
616
00:32:46,528 --> 00:32:48,443
No more, uh, amisulpride
to alleviate
617
00:32:48,488 --> 00:32:50,403
the side effects
of the olanzapine...
618
00:32:50,445 --> 00:32:51,838
Kristen, we agreed
it was a good idea...
619
00:32:51,882 --> 00:32:53,666
I'm seeing monsters
that aren't there.
620
00:32:53,710 --> 00:32:55,625
But coming down
from the medication can be
621
00:32:55,669 --> 00:32:58,019
-just as dangerous...
-Who are you working for?
622
00:32:58,063 --> 00:32:59,499
What?
623
00:33:00,630 --> 00:33:02,414
Are you sleeping with my mom?
624
00:33:02,458 --> 00:33:03,763
Is-is she having you do this?
625
00:33:03,807 --> 00:33:05,243
-What?
-I don't believe you, Kurt.
626
00:33:05,287 --> 00:33:07,723
-Not anymore.
-Kristen, this is paranoia.
627
00:33:07,768 --> 00:33:09,856
It would be paranoia
if I had no justification.
628
00:33:09,900 --> 00:33:11,292
Sit down. Let's talk.
629
00:33:11,336 --> 00:33:12,729
No. You're fired.
630
00:33:12,772 --> 00:33:14,383
What?
631
00:33:14,426 --> 00:33:15,515
I am done coming here.
632
00:33:15,557 --> 00:33:17,951
That is not a good idea.
633
00:33:17,996 --> 00:33:19,039
It's the best idea I've had.
634
00:33:19,084 --> 00:33:20,346
You're in league with them.
635
00:33:20,388 --> 00:33:21,433
You gave my therapy notes
to Leland.
636
00:33:21,477 --> 00:33:22,826
They were stolen.
637
00:33:22,869 --> 00:33:24,827
And now you're sleeping
with my mom
638
00:33:24,872 --> 00:33:27,092
and you're feeding her
information.
639
00:33:28,657 --> 00:33:30,529
[door slams]
640
00:33:36,317 --> 00:33:38,580
-We need to talk.
-[door opens]
641
00:33:38,625 --> 00:33:40,496
Okay, you tell me again
how I'm paranoid.
642
00:33:40,539 --> 00:33:42,628
-I am on with my wife.
-Sure!
643
00:33:43,630 --> 00:33:45,806
Listen. Talk to her.
644
00:33:48,461 --> 00:33:50,462
-["Mahna Mahna" by Cake playing]
-[door closes]
645
00:33:50,506 --> 00:33:52,508
SHERYL:
Hey, Leland.
646
00:33:52,551 --> 00:33:54,031
Hello?
647
00:33:54,075 --> 00:33:55,250
♪ Mahna mahna♪
648
00:33:56,511 --> 00:33:57,773
♪ Mahna mahna♪
649
00:33:57,817 --> 00:33:59,558
Leland?
650
00:33:59,602 --> 00:34:01,430
♪ Mahna mahna♪
651
00:34:01,473 --> 00:34:03,127
Hello?
652
00:34:03,171 --> 00:34:05,042
Where are you?
653
00:34:05,086 --> 00:34:06,695
Oh, God.
654
00:34:06,740 --> 00:34:08,958
Wha-What is going on?
655
00:34:10,135 --> 00:34:12,440
-I'm being hunted.
-[sighs]
656
00:34:12,485 --> 00:34:13,963
Okay, come on.
657
00:34:14,007 --> 00:34:15,269
Get up. Let's go.
658
00:34:15,313 --> 00:34:17,358
I don't think I can stand.
659
00:34:17,402 --> 00:34:20,840
Oh, please don't be such a baby.
660
00:34:20,884 --> 00:34:23,103
♪
661
00:34:23,148 --> 00:34:25,628
[sighs] Fine.
662
00:34:25,672 --> 00:34:27,804
Come on. Come here. Let's go.
663
00:34:27,847 --> 00:34:30,329
[song continues muffled]
664
00:34:34,985 --> 00:34:37,422
Sit first. Sit.
665
00:34:37,465 --> 00:34:39,512
One leg up.
666
00:34:39,554 --> 00:34:41,295
The other leg.
667
00:34:41,340 --> 00:34:42,992
You okay?
668
00:34:43,036 --> 00:34:44,603
There you go.
669
00:34:44,646 --> 00:34:46,257
All right.
670
00:34:47,302 --> 00:34:48,650
-Drink this.
-[can pops open]
671
00:34:48,695 --> 00:34:51,740
♪
672
00:34:57,398 --> 00:34:59,967
[sighs heavily]
673
00:35:00,010 --> 00:35:01,969
♪
674
00:35:02,012 --> 00:35:03,536
[whimpers loudly]
675
00:35:05,190 --> 00:35:06,668
All right. More?
676
00:35:06,713 --> 00:35:09,889
The two women from the airport.
677
00:35:09,932 --> 00:35:11,978
-[shuddering]
-[song ends]
678
00:35:19,246 --> 00:35:22,032
How many more nights of this?
679
00:35:22,076 --> 00:35:25,862
-What?
-This... exorcism.
680
00:35:25,905 --> 00:35:27,777
One.
681
00:35:27,820 --> 00:35:29,822
Can you survive it?
682
00:35:30,954 --> 00:35:32,521
Yes.
683
00:35:33,565 --> 00:35:36,394
No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
Remember our agreement?
684
00:35:36,438 --> 00:35:38,440
I do.
685
00:35:38,483 --> 00:35:39,833
All righty, then.
686
00:35:39,876 --> 00:35:41,139
Rinse off.
687
00:35:42,356 --> 00:35:44,402
[footsteps retreating]
688
00:35:50,583 --> 00:35:52,628
[paper rustling]
689
00:35:58,503 --> 00:36:01,333
And you're saying
this has nothing to do
690
00:36:01,376 --> 00:36:03,335
with your deep
philosophical differences
691
00:36:03,378 --> 00:36:05,074
with the New Ministry of Satan?
692
00:36:05,119 --> 00:36:06,989
DAVID:
Correct. The organization fails
693
00:36:07,034 --> 00:36:09,905
two of the IRS's
four core criteria.
694
00:36:09,949 --> 00:36:12,909
It is not operated exclusively
for worshipping Satan.
695
00:36:12,952 --> 00:36:14,519
-Uh, Kristen?
-Yes.
696
00:36:14,563 --> 00:36:17,349
Six months before
this "church" was formed,
697
00:36:17,391 --> 00:36:22,135
Graham Lucian and Jim Logger
were selling these T-shirts.
698
00:36:22,179 --> 00:36:24,094
And they only created
this pamphlet
699
00:36:24,137 --> 00:36:26,619
when they applied
for tax-exempt status.
700
00:36:28,186 --> 00:36:29,882
Anything else?
701
00:36:29,925 --> 00:36:34,278
Yes. The, uh, net earnings
are for one individual. Ben?
702
00:36:34,322 --> 00:36:36,498
Yeah, the, uh, bank statements
show that the profits
703
00:36:36,541 --> 00:36:38,630
were pocketed by Graham Lucian,
704
00:36:38,673 --> 00:36:40,240
including
the church collections.
705
00:36:40,284 --> 00:36:42,242
MARX:
As you can see, our assessors
706
00:36:42,286 --> 00:36:43,940
are not biased,
but they do conclude
707
00:36:43,983 --> 00:36:45,985
that the New Ministry of Satan
708
00:36:46,028 --> 00:36:48,510
does not live up
to IRS standards.
709
00:36:50,730 --> 00:36:52,731
Well presented.
710
00:36:52,775 --> 00:36:55,648
The two gentlemen
from this church
711
00:36:55,690 --> 00:36:57,867
have asked to be heard
after your presentation.
712
00:36:57,911 --> 00:36:59,304
What?
713
00:36:59,347 --> 00:37:01,523
They've argued that
your team is biased,
714
00:37:01,567 --> 00:37:04,047
and they wanted
to offer their piece.
715
00:37:06,659 --> 00:37:09,313
Mr. Lucian, Mr. Logger,
please come in.
716
00:37:13,231 --> 00:37:15,972
Oh, look who it is.
Hi, Jesus.
717
00:37:16,016 --> 00:37:17,364
Gentlemen.
718
00:37:17,409 --> 00:37:18,583
Lady.
719
00:37:19,628 --> 00:37:21,804
BEN:
So, what's the bias?
720
00:37:21,847 --> 00:37:23,240
I'm an atheist.
721
00:37:23,284 --> 00:37:24,806
I don't care who you worship.
722
00:37:24,851 --> 00:37:26,809
-And Kristen is an agnostic.
-I know.
723
00:37:26,853 --> 00:37:28,811
We talked.
724
00:37:30,030 --> 00:37:31,291
Then what is the bias?
725
00:37:31,335 --> 00:37:33,206
Ah.
726
00:37:35,164 --> 00:37:36,992
Kristen slept with me
last night,
727
00:37:37,036 --> 00:37:38,907
and now she wants to hurt me.
728
00:37:43,043 --> 00:37:44,523
MARX:
Really?
729
00:37:44,565 --> 00:37:47,960
Well, that's
an original way to go.
730
00:37:48,003 --> 00:37:50,355
Kristen, any response?
731
00:37:53,487 --> 00:37:56,012
[laughing]
732
00:37:56,056 --> 00:37:57,143
Is this not true?
733
00:37:57,186 --> 00:37:58,666
Oh, are you kidding me?
734
00:37:58,710 --> 00:38:00,668
I would rather sleep
with Satan himself.
735
00:38:03,628 --> 00:38:05,021
You are such a liar.
736
00:38:05,065 --> 00:38:06,719
KRISTEN:
What do you want me to do?
737
00:38:06,762 --> 00:38:09,025
Swear on a stack of Bibles
or the Satanic Bible?
738
00:38:09,068 --> 00:38:10,418
You tell me.
739
00:38:10,461 --> 00:38:11,505
Okay.
740
00:38:11,550 --> 00:38:12,898
I think we're done here.
741
00:38:12,942 --> 00:38:14,378
Thank you, gentlemen.
742
00:38:20,253 --> 00:38:23,126
Um, we're not.
743
00:38:23,170 --> 00:38:25,041
Satan isn't.
744
00:38:25,085 --> 00:38:26,521
He's coming for you.
745
00:38:26,565 --> 00:38:28,130
All three of you.
746
00:38:30,394 --> 00:38:32,047
Take care.
747
00:38:34,094 --> 00:38:36,922
Well, that proves one thing.
748
00:38:36,965 --> 00:38:40,012
No matter how powerful
Satan and God are,
749
00:38:40,056 --> 00:38:42,275
the IRS is stronger.
750
00:38:44,190 --> 00:38:46,280
-Please, no. Please stop it.
-THUNDERLAND: May God arise.
751
00:38:46,324 --> 00:38:47,889
May His enemies be scattered.
752
00:38:47,934 --> 00:38:49,630
May His foes flee!
753
00:38:49,675 --> 00:38:52,112
Help me, Satan. Deliver me.
754
00:38:52,155 --> 00:38:53,809
[gasps]
755
00:38:53,853 --> 00:38:55,811
[high-pitched voice]:
He is on your side.
756
00:38:55,855 --> 00:38:57,987
[giggles]
757
00:38:58,030 --> 00:39:02,731
[old man's voice]:
I will be delivered.
758
00:39:02,775 --> 00:39:04,516
[chuckles]
759
00:39:04,559 --> 00:39:06,909
THUNDERLAND:
May His foes flee before Him.
760
00:39:06,952 --> 00:39:08,693
As smoke is blown away
by the wind,
761
00:39:08,737 --> 00:39:10,434
may you blow them away.
762
00:39:10,478 --> 00:39:12,523
-[retches]
-O Prince of the Heavenly Host,
763
00:39:12,567 --> 00:39:15,483
by the power of God,
cast into Hell
764
00:39:15,527 --> 00:39:17,920
and all the evil spirits
who prowl about the world
765
00:39:17,963 --> 00:39:20,574
seeking the ruin of souls.
766
00:39:20,619 --> 00:39:22,664
[Thunderland continues in Latin]
767
00:39:30,411 --> 00:39:32,630
I believe in God,
the Father Almighty.
768
00:39:32,673 --> 00:39:35,634
THUNDERLAND and LELAND:
Creator of heaven and earth,
and in Jesus Christ.
769
00:39:35,677 --> 00:39:38,418
THUNDERLAND:
Who was conceived
by the Holy Spirit.
770
00:39:38,463 --> 00:39:39,855
[crying]
771
00:39:39,898 --> 00:39:42,204
Do you renounce the Devil
and all his works?
772
00:39:42,248 --> 00:39:44,469
-I do.
-[crying]: I do.
773
00:39:44,512 --> 00:39:46,253
THUNDERLAND:
Do you tell the Devil
774
00:39:46,295 --> 00:39:48,733
that he no longer
has power over you
775
00:39:48,777 --> 00:39:52,215
because you no longer live
in his kingdom of darkness?
776
00:39:53,260 --> 00:39:55,130
-[gasps] I do.
-LELAND: I do.
777
00:39:55,175 --> 00:39:59,005
THUNDERLAND:
Do you claim the protecting
power of God?
778
00:39:59,047 --> 00:40:02,094
[takes deep breath]
779
00:40:03,661 --> 00:40:06,054
[laughing]:
I am a new man.
780
00:40:06,099 --> 00:40:07,666
Father, you did it.
781
00:40:07,708 --> 00:40:09,449
You have given me a fresh start.
782
00:40:09,494 --> 00:40:11,757
I can't thank you enough.
Thank you. Thank you.
783
00:40:11,800 --> 00:40:13,235
It's not over yet.
784
00:40:13,280 --> 00:40:15,195
You need to pray every night.
785
00:40:15,237 --> 00:40:17,893
Here is my own personal rosary.
786
00:40:17,936 --> 00:40:19,764
LELAND:
Oh, my God.
787
00:40:19,807 --> 00:40:21,592
That is so sweet of you.
788
00:40:21,635 --> 00:40:22,985
David, look.
789
00:40:23,028 --> 00:40:25,771
I am so blessed.
790
00:40:25,813 --> 00:40:27,641
But I hope that David
will remain
791
00:40:27,686 --> 00:40:29,469
my spiritual adviser.
792
00:40:29,514 --> 00:40:30,775
I would advise it.
793
00:40:35,083 --> 00:40:37,130
♪
794
00:40:43,831 --> 00:40:46,052
Kristen?
795
00:40:46,094 --> 00:40:48,010
[knocks]
796
00:40:48,054 --> 00:40:49,621
Hello?
797
00:40:50,708 --> 00:40:52,101
Kristen?
798
00:40:52,144 --> 00:40:53,494
[knocks]
799
00:40:53,538 --> 00:40:55,452
Are you all right?
800
00:40:59,804 --> 00:41:01,849
Have you been in there
all this time?
801
00:41:05,550 --> 00:41:07,246
Are you okay?
802
00:41:08,769 --> 00:41:11,251
I am.
803
00:41:11,293 --> 00:41:12,818
[sighs]
804
00:41:30,356 --> 00:41:32,706
Did that one get to you?
805
00:41:32,751 --> 00:41:34,927
What one?
806
00:41:34,969 --> 00:41:36,014
The exorcism.
807
00:41:37,059 --> 00:41:39,409
I lost you in the middle of it.
808
00:41:39,452 --> 00:41:43,021
I was wondering if you were
done with this job.
809
00:41:44,719 --> 00:41:46,851
No, I'm just getting started.
810
00:41:50,463 --> 00:41:53,119
Can I ask you...
811
00:41:53,161 --> 00:41:55,773
If you don't believe in God,
812
00:41:55,817 --> 00:41:57,775
can an exorcism work on you?
813
00:41:57,818 --> 00:41:59,472
Sure.
814
00:41:59,516 --> 00:42:02,431
God exists despite
what any individual thinks.
815
00:42:02,476 --> 00:42:04,130
Right, but for a placebo
to work,
816
00:42:04,172 --> 00:42:05,958
a patient has to believe
in the drug.
817
00:42:06,001 --> 00:42:07,742
Yes, but...
818
00:42:07,786 --> 00:42:09,701
an exorcism isn't a placebo.
819
00:42:09,744 --> 00:42:12,181
[chuckling]:
That's where you and I disagree.
820
00:42:15,750 --> 00:42:17,186
Oh, wow.
821
00:42:18,797 --> 00:42:21,800
I don't think I've ever seen
the stars like this in the city.
822
00:42:22,887 --> 00:42:24,932
New moon.
823
00:42:27,936 --> 00:42:29,547
Oh, my gosh.
824
00:42:29,590 --> 00:42:31,157
My husband leaves tonight.
825
00:42:31,199 --> 00:42:32,505
When?
826
00:42:32,550 --> 00:42:34,202
Ten minutes.
827
00:42:34,246 --> 00:42:35,682
Oh, you better hurry, huh?
828
00:42:35,726 --> 00:42:37,641
Sorry.
829
00:42:37,684 --> 00:42:39,208
Uh, hey.
830
00:42:41,210 --> 00:42:42,255
Thanks for being here.
831
00:42:47,695 --> 00:42:49,653
[door closes]
832
00:42:49,697 --> 00:42:51,742
[footsteps approaching]
833
00:42:57,139 --> 00:42:58,576
Hey.
834
00:43:00,099 --> 00:43:02,056
Just wanted to say goodbye.
835
00:43:02,101 --> 00:43:03,362
Your Uber is outside.
836
00:43:03,405 --> 00:43:05,059
-Thanks.
-Yeah.
837
00:43:08,324 --> 00:43:10,282
I'm sure Kristen
had to work late.
838
00:43:10,326 --> 00:43:12,764
-Yeah. Just tell her I'll call.
-Definitely.
839
00:43:16,855 --> 00:43:19,204
ANDY [recorded]:
You've reached Andy Bouchard
at Eighth Summit Trekking.
840
00:43:19,248 --> 00:43:20,597
Please leave a message.
841
00:43:20,641 --> 00:43:21,989
Andy, I'm on my way home.
842
00:43:22,034 --> 00:43:23,601
Please don't leave yet. I'm...
843
00:43:23,643 --> 00:43:25,427
[sniffs] I'm so sorry.
I-I need to see you.
844
00:43:25,472 --> 00:43:27,909
[crying]:
I've... I've been off.
845
00:43:27,952 --> 00:43:29,867
I've... And it's not you.
846
00:43:29,911 --> 00:43:33,045
It's... it-it's been me, and...
847
00:43:33,088 --> 00:43:35,438
I'm so sorry.
You and the kids are...
848
00:43:35,481 --> 00:43:38,137
are the best thing
that ever happened to me.
849
00:43:38,179 --> 00:43:39,878
Okay, I'll see you soon.
850
00:43:39,920 --> 00:43:41,793
[sobs]
851
00:43:57,025 --> 00:43:58,679
No.
852
00:43:58,722 --> 00:44:00,898
[sighs]
853
00:44:14,869 --> 00:44:17,088
♪
854
00:44:40,242 --> 00:44:41,416
My gosh.
855
00:44:41,460 --> 00:44:43,376
-Oh!
-Mmm.
856
00:44:46,509 --> 00:44:48,206
I got your message.
857
00:44:48,250 --> 00:44:50,512
I was worried I'd missed you.
858
00:44:50,556 --> 00:44:52,690
I got another flight
for tomorrow.
859
00:44:59,086 --> 00:45:00,132
Here.
860
00:45:07,400 --> 00:45:09,054
What's this?
861
00:45:09,097 --> 00:45:11,621
This is a fire puja.
862
00:45:11,664 --> 00:45:13,623
It's for purification.
863
00:45:13,666 --> 00:45:15,451
It's Tibetan Buddhism.
864
00:45:15,494 --> 00:45:17,148
So, what you do is,
865
00:45:17,192 --> 00:45:19,804
you...
866
00:45:19,847 --> 00:45:23,938
write down the thing
that you want purified,
867
00:45:23,981 --> 00:45:27,507
and then you dip the paper
in some butter-- or margarine.
868
00:45:27,550 --> 00:45:28,726
Okay.
869
00:45:28,768 --> 00:45:31,641
So you write your affliction.
870
00:45:31,684 --> 00:45:33,295
And go.
871
00:45:36,864 --> 00:45:39,213
Oh, and if it involves a person,
872
00:45:39,257 --> 00:45:41,739
you draw a circle of protection
around the name.
873
00:45:41,782 --> 00:45:43,523
Why?
874
00:45:43,565 --> 00:45:46,394
Because burning a person's name
is not a good thing.
875
00:45:54,838 --> 00:45:57,275
Now, we never mention this
to each other ever again.
876
00:45:58,364 --> 00:46:00,148
[chuckling]:
My God, this is so much better
877
00:46:00,192 --> 00:46:01,889
than that mirror exercise.
878
00:46:01,932 --> 00:46:03,978
[paper tears]
879
00:46:06,327 --> 00:46:08,722
-Okay.
-Okay.
880
00:46:08,766 --> 00:46:10,768
Dip it in here.
881
00:46:10,811 --> 00:46:12,856
-It's warm.
-Okay.
882
00:46:15,947 --> 00:46:18,036
Okay.
883
00:46:18,079 --> 00:46:19,864
-You ready?
-Yeah.
884
00:46:19,907 --> 00:46:22,170
One, two, three. Go.
885
00:46:35,009 --> 00:46:36,880
What happens now?
886
00:46:37,882 --> 00:46:39,360
[sighs]
887
00:46:39,405 --> 00:46:40,449
I go sell the business.
888
00:46:42,016 --> 00:46:43,409
And when I come home...
889
00:46:44,539 --> 00:46:46,978
...you and I have a fresh start.
890
00:46:52,286 --> 00:46:54,333
♪
891
00:47:15,092 --> 00:47:17,050
Hey.
892
00:47:19,619 --> 00:47:21,621
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